Together Again
"Hey." Thea smiled as Jude opened up the front door to her two sisters standing, holding bags for their weekend staycation at their sister's house.
"I thought this was my pizza." Jude huffed a little.
"It's good to see you too, Jude." Cassie nodded sarcastically as they walked into the house.
"Did you order enough for all of us?" Thea asked, giving Jude a hug.
"I didn't because I forgot you guys were coming and then I remembered, so I called back up to change the pizza size." She said, moving into hugging Cassie, "How was your flight?" She asked them both, walking through to the living room.
"Loud." Thea shook her head.
"Yeah and some kid kept kicking my seat behind me." Cassie said, taking her jacket off, "Do people not train their children to behave anymore?" She questioned as Jude just smiled.
Suddenly the house she was complaining about being so quiet, was as loud as it was ever going to be with her sisters arrival.
"I appreciate you guys coming out but… you didn't have to. I promise I'm ok." She assured them both.
"We know but we figured it wouldn't hurt to see you in person." Thea said, "Plus it's been a while since we've hung out just the three of us." She pointed out, walking over to the vivarium where Rex was.
"Yeah when was the last time we all hung out?" Cassie tried to think.
"Christmas probably." Jude figured, thinking back to Christmas, when all felt right and she still believed her husband would never hurt her like this.
"The girls in bed?" Thea asked, wandering through to the kitchen as Jude and Cassie followed.
"No they're with Sean tonight." Jude nodded, clearing up some dishes from breakfast which she hadn't gotten round to.
"I bet you miss them when they're not here." Cassie frowned, taking a seat at the kitchen table.
"Yeah, it's just… it's so quiet. And it sucks when I have to sit here and have dinner on my own." Jude shook her head as Thea looked over at her.
"How was your week with mom?" Thea smiled, "Did she suffocate you?" She asked, opening up the fridge and grabbing a soda, making herself at home of course.
"No, actually. She was great." Jude said, "It was good to see her. She kinda just let me talk about things. Didn't try to put anything in my head. I guess she's good like that." She nodded to herself.
"We'll do a better job." Cassie added jokingly.
"I don't need you all coming out here one by one to try and fix me." Jude turned to them both, "I mean… should I be expecting dad next?" She laughed a little.
"No, he's banned from coming here." Thea said, taking out some nuts and shaking some into her hand to eat.
"What do you mean?" Jude shook her head.
"Well he doesn't do well in these situations, does he?" Cassie added, "The last time he came out here he beat Sean up… in the police station." Cassie rolled her eyes.
"Yeah how'd he not get arrested for that?" Thea asked curiously.
"Cause Sean let him off." Jude said as Cassie looked on at some art projects sitting on the table.
"Are these yours or your students?" Cassie asked.
"Some are mine. I've not been able to finish anything in so long." Jude shook her head with disappointment, "It's not like I don't have the time either. I just… I can't finish anything." She shook her head.
"Well your mind is elsewhere, I guess." Thea nodded, "You had any kind of contact with him other than through the girls?"
"No. Well… he came by one night when mom was still here. Leela left her teddy bear at his, he came by to drop it off." Jude said, "We talked for a little but… didn't get anywhere."
"It's gonna be a gradual thing." Cassie nodded.
"Yeah maybe." Jude shrugged, "Enough about my miserable life, what's been going on with you two?" She asked.
"Oh, nothing exciting." Thea shook her head.
"Found out I'm infertile." Cassie nodded.
"You're not infertile." Thea scoffed.
"Close enough." Cassie rolled her eyes.
"Mom kinda briefly filled me in." Jude nodded, "I'm sorry it's being so difficult for you." She frowned as Cassie nodded.
"I'll be fine." Cassie smiled.
"How has Theo been taking it?" Jude asked, sitting up on the kitchen counter.
"Pretty well." Cassie nodded, "Him and his perfect reproductive organs." She shook her head, grabbing the nuts from Thea across the table.
"So what are you guys gonna do?" Jude asked.
"Not screw like we're on heat every day anymore." Cassie nodded.
"Sounds like a good time to me." Thea shrugged, taking some art projects from the table and flicking through them.
"No, I miss the sex I used to have when I didn't think halfway through it… oh, am I getting pregnant right now?" Cassie shook her head.
"So you're not trying anymore?" Jude asked, "Sometimes that's when it happens. As soon as me and Sean stopped trying to have Leela, I got pregnant." She nodded.
"So I keep hearing." Cassie said suspiciously, "I don't know, we're still kinda digesting it all. It's been pretty overwhelming. I hate being overwhelmed."
"We know." Thea assured her, "You go all weird and quiet, and don't talk to anyone."
"She's like that anyway." Jude added as Thea chuckled with her.
"I didn't come out here to get bullied." Cassie said.
"Give me those nuts." Thea shook her head, taking them back from Cassie.
"So what are you both planning to do? Sit and stare at me the whole weekend?" Jude asked curiously.
"We figured we could go out tomorrow. You could show us some of your local bars." Cassie smiled.
"I'm not really in the mood to dress up and hit the town." Jude shook her head.
"You don't have to dress up." Thea said, "Just a night with your favourite people. Maybe let your hair down a little." She shrugged.
"I'm pretty sure dad coming here would have been a safer choice than you two. You guys wanna get me drunk and set me up with some stranger, don't you?" She folded her arms.
"Of course not." Thea scoffed.
"Would give him a taste of his own medicine, though." Cassie added.
"Well that's not me." Jude shook her head, "That might be you two, but I'm not like that."
"You must know in your heart what you're gonna do." Thea said, "Is it gonna be over for good or… can you give him a chance?" He asked, "You gotta be thinking something."
"I really don't know." Jude said, "I wish I did. I think a divorce sounds great until I realise I'll never get to… wake up with him again, laugh at one of his jokes or pretend to laugh because I don't wanna hurt his feelings." She said, "But then I think about letting him back in and all I have is doubt and paranoia. If he can do this to me once, he sure as hell could do it to me again, right?" She looked over at them both.
"Not necessarily." Cassie said, "Would you ever believe him if he told you it was just one huge mistake he never meant to make?" She asked.
"Doesn't just feel like a mistake, though. This was our marriage. Our life." Jude shook her head, "Part of me just still doesn't understand, I don't think I ever will." She said as they looked across at her, "Not long after I was attacked, I would stay with him at his apartment in Chicago, sometimes he'd find me in the shower and I'd… I'd just be sitting there." She shook her head, "He'd help me out, dry me, put my clothes on, help me fall asleep." She looked down as Thea sighed, turning to Cassie who didn't say anything.
"He wasn't just my husband, he was like this… safety blanket from all the stuff I've gone through. Maybe that just got too much for him." She shrugged.
"No, you're not blaming yourself for this." Thea said angrily, "I don't think so."
"If it's not bad enough that he cheated on me, now I have to sit here and think about what the hell I'm supposed to do about it all." Jude shook her head, "If I take him back, I feel like everyone is just gonna be laughing at me-"
"This has nothing to do with anyone else." Cassie said, "And you know we'll back you with whatever it is you decide."
"I know." Jude nodded, "It's just… it's probably never gonna be the same again, is it? No matter what I decide." She said, "Mom told me when she decided to take dad back after everything that happened with them, it was because she was willing to take the risk, because of how much she loved him." She nodded.
"You don't need to compare it to them. It's different." Thea said.
"Do you still love him?" Cassie asked, "Not in like… he's the father of my kids so I have to kind of way but… really love him?"
"Yeah." Jude nodded, "But then I see him and I remember what he's done and I just hate him." She shook her head, "How can you love someone and hate them at the same time?"
"It's possible." Cassie nodded, "I'm sure you're not the first person to be in a situation like this."
"And you won't be the last." Thea scoffed.
"That's not helping." Jude looked at them both, "What about the girls? What's going to be best for them? A divorced mom and dad or… or a mom and dad who tiptoe around each other from now until… whenever."
"Oh, no you can't think about them in all of this." Thea shook her head as Cassie turned to her, "What?" She shrugged.
"If you were in her shoes, you wouldn't think about what was best for your kids?" Cassie asked.
"I would but I wouldn't solely base my decision on it. Like you said, you don't wanna stick together just because of them." Thea said.
"I can't believe you both came out here to depress yourselves with me." Jude shook her head, "Idiots." She nodded.
"Are you kidding? I get two nights off from my kids. Depress me all you want, babe." Thea nodded as Jude smiled.
"Let's just try have a good weekend." Cassie said, "Depressing or not." She nodded as there was a knock at the door.
"That'll be the pizza this time" Jude said, jumping off the kitchen counter.
"See, that's not depressing at all." Thea nodded as Jude smiled, leaving the kitchen to go collect the pizza.