CHAPTER EIGHT: REALIZATION
That night the wind turned cold and blew harder driving the bitter breeze into him. The open place he was bedding in did not offer much protection. He spent the night huddling between two trees for partial shelter. He fed on the grasses and plants near him, but their fresh taste had vanished. Winter was starting with all the hardships it brings. Come morning the greater light seemed especially brighter and he could see a light coating of frost on the plants near him. As soon as it was light he bedded down again, cold or not. He was not going to walk around in the day.
Now he had to decide where to go next. He could go back to Galin and his males, but he was not sure about his place there. One thing was sure, they did not take care of their herd as Bambi and Stabo did. He did not like their way. He could continue moving, but with winter coming on that was not a good idea. He could also just stay around here. There was no good place to protect him from the cold but it was near food and water, and the trees in the distance looked closer together than here. There he could hide from any dangers. There were also few signs of other deer around here; that meant more food for him. He decided to continue his walk following the stream. From Stabo, he remembered that this forest connected somehow to the old forest that Old Bambi came from even before Stranger. There, Old Bambi's son Gorro was herd leader.
That night he left his place and continued his trek. The forest closed in to within several lengths of the stream. Off in the distance, he saw a tall hill, but he had no idea where that place was. He moved on until just before light he came out of the forest into a clearing, maybe a bit smaller than his meadow back home. The ground also became hillier so there were hollows between the hills where he could bed down out of the wind. There was something else. There were deer scents here, fresh deer scents. Tonight he would look around more. He found a small tree sheltered hollow between two hills that blocked most of the wind.
It was after dark that he walked on the nearby meadow and started to eat. The wind blew the scent of other deer to him. They were close, but they stayed in the forest as if hiding. After he finished and drank by the stream, he walked off the meadow and hid in the trees, and watched. A little while later, two doe still with this season's fawns came out to feed. With them came several smaller males, and a few yearlings. All were small and most were scrawny. What he did not see were any senior males or even large herd males with them. He saw no one guiding them; this herd was left by itself. "How strange," he thought.
It was after the lesser night passed overhead; he saw a larger male enter the meadow, only this deer walked stiff-legged. His shoulders drooped lightly, and his movement seemed labored. It was an old male, older than Stabo. Maybe that male could explain what was going on. He slowly walked back out to the meadow and approached quietly downwind of the male until he was several lengths from him when the male's head shot up and he looked back at him. In an instant, his tail came up and he started to bound for the trees.
"STOP!" he called out. "I am not here to harm you; I am a stranger to this forest. I would like to talk to you."
The old deer bounded twice more and came to a stop. He turned and faced him. "Who are you," the old voice cracked.
"My name is Stafen and I am a visitor from another forest," he answered trying not to sound threatening.
"A visitor," the old male repeated. "We get no visitors here. The only things we have here are deer not wanted by the herd."
"I know that feeling," he replied grimly.
"How did you get here?" the old deer asked.
"I walked," he explained. "I walked from my old herd across the open area to his forest. I then continued to follow the stream. After I met Galin and the other senior males I kept walking until I found you."
"You met Galin?" the older deer said as if he did not believe him. "He just let you come here?"
"Why not?" he wanted to know.
The old male looked astonished, "Because we are the other deer of their herd. The deer no longer wanted, so they send us here."
Did he hear that right? "No longer wanted," he repeated. "Why are you no longer wanted?"
"Because we are old, or are lame, or are smaller and weaker than the other deer," the old male went on. "Galin and his senior males just send us here where we will be out of their way. This way only the strongest and most powerful males and doe breed. Galin does not care about what happens here. We are just out of his way. He leaves us alone so that the praetors can more easily hunt us instead of them."
He had never heard anything like this before. Yes, there were small and scrawny deer in his forest, and most never bred, but they were all part of the herd. "And just what are you supposed to do here?" he asked.
"We are supposed to die," the old deer told him. "If the winter does not kill us, the bears and coyotes will. By throwing us out, the main herd saves the best grass for them, and they use us to feed the predators rather can have them hunt the other deer. Since we have no protection, the hunters know to come here and feed rather than the main herd because the senior males watch the main herd more carefully and warn them when danger approaches. No one warns us here."
He had never heard of such of thing. What kind of herd leader would do this? "I have never heard of such nonsense," he said. "The herd I come from has always been for all the deer there and not just some. The herd leader and senior males looked after all the deer."
"Then you have not been in this herd for long, young male," the old deer said shaking his head. "I thought they sent you here like us, but you look too strong to be sent away from the herd. Now I understand."
He had a hard time believing this whole story. No one lets part of his herd die. You lose enough deer already from sickness, hunger, predators, and especially Man.
"My name is Stafen," he said.
"I am Tylos," the old deer answered.
"I was thinking of staying here for a while," he said. "Is there enough grass to feed everyone?"
"Now there is," Tylos said with satisfaction. "We lost a lot of deer last winter when the snow-covered the meadow deeply. There was not much grass. Some of the weaker males and fawns did not live through it. We also lost many to the coyotes."
He could fix that he knew. "I can show you how to avoid coyotes," he explained.
"You can," the old deer said as if amazed. "Only the big and powerful deer are trained like that and they do not waste their time teaching us. We are useless to them."
"In my herd, we teach anyone who wants to help the herd," he said. "We even train some doe from time to time. I thought all herds did that. I do not understand why Galin does not do that."
"Galin only cares about the deer in his herd, not us," Tylos repeated. "How did you learn this at such a young age?"
"My father and herd leader Bambi taught me when I was growing up in my forest before I left."
"Bambi," the old deer gasped. "We have all heard of Bambi. He was the herd leader in a forest near here for many seasons. Now his son Gorro leads."
"That is Old Bambi, his grandson Young Bambi is the herd leader of my forest. Is Old Bambi's forest near here?" he asked.
"Yes," the old deer said. "Follow the stream until you come to the end of this forest. Then turn right and continue along the edge of the trees until they thin out. Off in the distance is a small forest. However, there is only open land between the end of this forest and the other smaller forest. Man grows things there but we do not know why. Once through the small forest, Bambi's old forest is right in front of you about a full night's travel. We occasionally get deer from that forest, but not lately."
This was interesting. He could go there if he had to. If he started now he could reach it before the snow started.
"Could you help us avoid some of the predators?" the old male asked. "We could use some help."
He knew he could teach them, but it would take time. If he did it, he would need to wait until spring to travel to Old Bambi's forest. There was not much he could do before spring in any case. On not much more than an impulse, he nodded his head. "I will show you how to do this. Bring your herd here out on the meadow tomorrow night and I will talk to them," he told Tylos. "Tell them do not be afraid, I will not hurt them. I will see what I can do for them."
The old deer's tired brown eyes looked at him and he swore he saw a tear in them. "Thank you," he said and bowed his head in respect.
He spent the day in troubled sleep. He could not believe Galin would do such a thing to his herd. The herd leader protected all in the herd, not just parts of it. Could it be that Galin did not learn like Balo and Stena did not learn what Stranger and the others taught them? It was a troubling thought that bothered him. One other thing bothered him. By teaching these deer, was going against the order of this herd's leader? That could lead to serious trouble. He did not care. These deer needed him and more importantly, seemed to want him. That was more than his herd and Galin herd did. He felt a need to be wanted after his herd rejected him.
The next evening he went out into the meadow and after the deer gathered he looked them over. Most were lesser males, either too small or too weak to even become a herd male. There were small females; almost none of them had fawns. A few yearlings that looked smaller than normal. The only doe with fawns looked small. All the deer here were the ones that were too small or weak to ever amount to much in any deer herd, but that did not mean they were useless. It meant they would never get to breed, nothing more. That's the way a herd was; only the strongest males got to breed. However, even Stranger took care of all the deer in the herd, not just the senior males and best females. Stabo and his father were the same way.
He gathered the deer around him and started to speak. "Tylos has asked me to show you how to avoid hunters here," he started. "I know about the lack of food and the predators that come every winter. About the grass and plants, I can do nothing. They will grow as they will grow. I can show you some ways to maybe get more food than you usually could. What I can teach you is how to avoid predators like bears and coyotes. This will also work to help you avoid Man. The thing to remember is that bears, coyotes, big cats, and the others all track you the same way, by your scent. You cannot hide your scent, but you can confuse those following you. I will show you this if you wish. It will take a while and I will have to teach you all to walk quietly through the forest."
"How?" one of the small males asked.
"By leaving as little scent as possible and making as little noise as possible. When you just walk normally through a forest, you brush against plants and trees as you walk. You leave your scent there. If you pick your way carefully among the plants and leaves, you leave less scent. You can also not break twigs on the ground or rustle the bushes so you will walk so quietly that no one, not even Man, can hear you. Also, when you empty your waste, do it far enough away from where you bed down as you can. Others use scent from your waste to tell who is around and how far away you are. Finally, if you have to run from predators, you run with the wind at your tail. That way the wind does not blow your scent back to whoever is chasing you." Now first finish eating and then come with me and I will show you how to do this.
It was well after dark when he took them into the forest. The first thing he did was show them how to walk along the ground without disturbing any leaves on the bushes, nor breaking and twigs on the ground. He showed them all these things several times and then let them try it. Predictably, they all failed miserably as he did the first time he tried. He went back and showed them again. At first, you have to concentrate hard not to make any noise, but with practice, a lot of practice, you could glide through the forest unheard. When it got late he sent them all back to their bedding areas and told them he continue on the next night.
That was the first night. He continued concentrating on silent walks, always showing them how to pass bushes and not make a sound or leave much of a scent. Everything else depended on knowing this, and it is why it was the first thing his father, mother, and Stabo taught him when he was a yearling. This went on night after night until he could see they grew tired of it.
He then stopped that lesson and taught them how to throw someone off their track. He would get them to smell him and try to track him through the snow. He would lead them until the wind was at his tale and then he leap several bounds away from the path he was traveling. Those leaps left very little scent. He then circled back around them and disappeared. It was exactly how Uncle Stabo taught him to throw hunters off his trail. He continued that teaching through the first snow that lasted two days before it melted. By now his rack had fallen off and he was as bare-headed as the doe.
By the time of the second snow, they were getting better at throwing others off their track. This snow lasted for several days and he showed them how easy it was to track a deer through the snow. He then showed them how to travel in the stream or the small brooks to cover their scent. So far the snow had not lasted long enough to cover the meadow for long. There was still grass there, but it diminished both in amount and taste as the winter wore on.
It was right after the second snow melted, that one night, they all heard an all too familiar sound in the distance. "YYYAAAAOOOOOOOOO," echoed through the forest. He was teaching in the meadow and he told everyone to follow him. He led them across the meadow and into the stream. It was bitterly cold, but not frozen over like the small lake. He had them follow him and move quickly down the river. There were many complaints about the cold water, but he did not care. Once they had traveled downstream, he quickly ran into a part of the forest close to the stream. The others followed him into the forest. He then turned them so they faced the meadow with the wind in their faces. He then had them watch the meadow.
"YYAAAOOO" came the same cries again. He and the others saw four of the dog-like animals run out on the meadow sniffing around. They could easily follow the scents as they ran toward the stream. Once they got into the stream, things change. The moment they entered the stream, they jumped right out. They did not like the sting of the cold water on their feet. All of them followed the stream for a little while and lost the scent. They then turned around and went back the way they came.
"You see, they cannot follow your scent through the water," he told them. "They do not know we are here so they will go away. This is how to protect yourself."
"AAARROOO, AAARROOO, AAARROOO," came quickly from near where the coyotes went into the wood.
"They found someone," he whispered as loud as he dared. "All of you stay quiet."
More calling that got closer and closer.
Suddenly a small yearling male broke out of the cover of the trees with the four coyotes just behind him. The male ran across the meadow, but as he got halfway across it near the stream, one of the chasers leaped forward and grabbed him by the rear legs.
"IIIIIEEEEEEE," he screamed and fell. All four of the animals were on him in an instant. He heard three pitiful screams of pain before the coyotes tore the yearling male to pieces. He and the others had the unpleasant experience of watching them eat their fill. When they finished with the caucus, they just carried most of the pieces away. They would have plenty to feed themselves for the next few days.
He turned to face the others. "That is what happens to you if hunters chased you and do not know what to do. That male did not come here to learn. He did not know what to do and now he is dead. That could have easily been either you or me. However, they did not find us and that is the important thing. Because they did not find us, they did not eat us, and we get to live another day. That male is gone."
He looked them all over noting the shock on their faces. It was as if they did not believe what they saw. He remembered Stabo warning to him, 'Some deer do not learn and those deer usually die first.'
"We will stay here tonight. There is grass growing between the trees. Eat that tonight, and we will stay here tomorrow. We do not want to use the meadow with those hunters around. If that pack thinks no one is near to them, they will go hunt elsewhere."
The deer with them said nothing. Some looked sick, some coughed up their cud, others just stared. It was like Stabo telling him Stranger's story; only that story was just words, here the deer saw what would happen with their own eyes.
The next morning they all slept the best they could. It was times like this he missed the three doe he had. Their warm bodies took the edge off the cold. He found the best spot he could and slept uneasily. They passed the day in quiet.
The next night he kept them there and again showed them how to walk silently through the bushes and trees. There was a renewed interest by the deer in learning after what happened the previous night. From time to time he could still hear the coyotes howl from the other side of the stream, but they kept searching and found only some smaller animals.
They stayed in that forest eating what little grass was there, waiting for the hunters to clear out. After three days they heard no more howling, so he let the herd go back.
The third and heaviest snow fell two days later. This covered the meadow in snow about halfway from his hoof to his knee. The small herd had to dig into the snow to find anything to eat. They started to eat the grass in between the trees along with any leaves from plants that were left. This snow stayed for several days. It did not take long to eat all the grass near the meadow. He could see the animals getting thinner including him. They could find enough grass to survive, but nothing more. This place was not as rich with grass as the larger meadows. He sent the herd on either side of the stream on either end of this meadow to look for grass. They found some grass and ate it. He spread out the small herd to make it easier for them to find food. His lessons stopped until the grass started to grow back. He could only hope they learned enough.
Since he was no longer teaching at night, he decided to try something new. He followed the stream out of the meadow and toward where Old Bambi's home was. He went down the stream and then went into the forest on either side of the stream. In the forest were trees with little snow and several patches of uneaten grass there. There were also some plants whose leaves tasted awful, but what he did find was a large stand of oak trees. Under those trees, he found some acorns that he ate with relish. That filled him, but what of the rest of the group here. He was not herd leader here, he made that clear to the others, yet he still felt something for these deer. He started to realize that like it or not, these deer depended on him.
That night he went back to the meadow and called to all that could hear him. He explained he had found some food that could feed them for a few days and the lead his following back with him. They all went into the woods there and ate better than they had for days. Many needed it or they might not have survived. Tylos was especially thin and slow. It took them a few days but they ate that place out soon. So he went over the stream to the side and looked. It was the same there without the oak trees. He took his group over there and fed. After they got their fill his small herd left and went back to their normal bedding places.
He slept that night there near the trees. The weather was getting warmer. As he lay awake he was bothered by something. Even though he showed these deer how to avoid predators and how to find food, no one said hardly anything to him, even thank you. Even after showing them how to walk quietly, avoid predators, and even finding food to keep them from starving, he thought some would at least say thank you. Other than Tylos and one doe with a wasting fawn, no one said anything to him. They just accepted what he said quietly. It was almost as if they expected him to do this for them. It was like what he did was somehow his duty to them. When he thought about it and realized it was the same back in his old herd with Bambi and the other senior males. He had gone out several times to look for danger as had the others. His father, the herd leader, Juon and Stabo had shown the deer where to hide to avoid Man, how to find food, and to alert them to dangers. Few deer ever thanked them, fewer even came to help. You would think they appreciate the senior males more. He had thanked his father, uncle, and herd leader many times for teaching him what to do, yet the herd was mostly silent about it. They did what they told him and just went on with their lives.
That raised many questions within him. Why were more deer not like his family and him? Why did most of the deer go along with what he, his family, or any herd male said yet seldom did anything themselves? The biggest question was why he was even doing this? These deer were not part of his herd or his family. He realized it was not how they felt toward him; it was what he felt toward them. He had no idea why he should have cared for the deer. They were not his herd and he was no herd leader for them. The questions did not answer themselves as he eventually fell off into sleep.
Eventually, the snow in the meadow melted, but the cold would not let go. Two more times before the cold grip left the coyotes came back to find nothing to eat. He could hear them coming and they all went elsewhere. Even a bear came down from the nearby hills to look for food. As soon as he smelled the bear he told everyone to scatter. They were lucky to get off with the loss of one male. It was a pity it was Tylos. Even with his lessons, the old deer could not run much any longer and the bear ran him down. Another lesson from Stabo came to his mind. 'You cannot save every deer. You can only try."
Over many days, the cold slowly lessened; the sun became warmer, and on their meadow came the first signs of grass shoots and new buds from the bushes and the trees. Soon it would be spring. It also meant he was now a three-season male. This Season he have a full rack. Now, what should he do? He wasn't sure. Part of him told him to leave, another part of him told him to stay. He had done what he could to teach these deer. He had even continued his lessons after the snow melted. The herd here seemed to lose interest in what he said as the new grass sprouted. As it happened so many times in his life, something from outside helped him to see what to do.
He was feeding that night when the breeze brought him the scent of a new deer. He turned and saw a large male, maybe his age walking toward him. He stopped and looked at him for a moment before walking cautiously up to him.
"Who are you?" the new deer asked.
"I am Stafen, a visitor to your forest," he answered.
"Stafen," he said like it was familiar. "Yes, I remember. I saw you when they brought you to the herd males. I am Datlan. We did not see you again. We thought you left or died."
"No I spent the winter here," he said.
"Here, with the wastelings?" he question. "Why would you do that?"
That term made him angry. "Gorro said I put your herd on edge, so I came here because I did not want to offend anyone. He also said some things I did not like so I came here rather than cause trouble. I found a group of deer here that needed help so I stayed to help them."
Datlan took a step backward suddenly looking very serious. "You helped them, how?"
He answered calmly trying not to get aggravated himself. "They had problems avoiding predators and finding enough grass to last them through winter. I showed them how to avoid predators and find more grass."
"WHAT!" Datlan said almost loud enough to be heard back with the senior males. "You taught them how to avoid predators. We put them out here so the predators would find them and not attack the main herd. Do you have any idea what you have done? Several coyotes came into the main herd and killed a few yearlings because they could not find anything here. We were all wondering why they could not find food here like they usually did each winter. Galin and the others thought it was because these wastelings were all dead, not because someone was trying to help them."
So it was true, Galin had not learned the lessons of Stranger either. Galin was as bad as Balo and Stena. He was suddenly filled with a mixture of revulsion and anger. He took a couple of deep breaths and remembered about getting mad.
"Listen, Datlan," he said in a low serious voice. "A herd leader is the leader of all the deer, not just most of the deer. A herd leader is responsible for all the deer and not just some. If these deer were so useless, then Galin should have thrown them out of the herd. Instead, he kept them so they would die by starving in winter or have the hunters kill them. That is not right. That was not the way they taught me."
"Who cares how you were taught," Datlan interrupted. "This is not your herd and you are certainly not the herd leader. We made this decision and we decided what we would do. We do not need you interfering in our herd."
He smiled and bowed. "I suppose you are correct with what you said, but I know what my herd leader taught me. I know what Stabo and the others taught Galin and it was not this. You protect the herd. That is the responsibility of the herd leader. Many in my family have died doing it, but not like this. I am sorry if I offended Galin, but I will not apologize for this. I know I did the right thing here, and if Galin does not realize this, then I feel pity for him and not respect."
He could see the young senior male go red in the face. "You can explain it to Galin himself, you are coming with me."
"No I am not," he said and shifted his weight to meet a possible attack.
"I will pound your tale into the ground and then take you," Datlan spat out also getting ready for a fight.
"You can try," he said. "Bigger deer than you have tried so if you want me, here I am."
"Fool!" Datlan shouted and charged him.
If Datlan was trained like him, we would expect a rear leg sweep to take out his front legs. He would expect a side step and lung at the flank. He might even expect a fake retreat by and a double kick from the rear legs into his face. He would try something else. Datlan came toward him, head down, but eyes up. He did the same. Datlan came on fast, but not recklessly. He waited until he was close and then jumped up into the air using his two powerful hind legs to push himself up. As he did, he brought both front hoofs up with the sharp hoofs pointing down. He wanted to beat the male, not cut him open. His two hoofs hit the chest and under the deer's chin with two heavy blows.
"DAOOFFF," Datlan grunted as he knocked the air out of him and smashed into his jaw. He knocked the big deer sideways. He tripped and ended up face down. After he hit the ground he lay still and then rolled over. Before the down deer could recover, he charged and drove his body and shoulder into Datlin's exposed flank. The impact pushed the deer further into the ground He lunged again into his exposed flank. He heard several popping noises from inside Datlan's side. He then pounded him lightly once with his front hoofs and then stopped.
He looked down at the beaten deer. "It is going to take a better deer than you to beat me," he grunted. "Now limp on back to Galin and tell him I did the job he should have done, and I did it better than he did."GET OUT OF HERE."
With that, he pulled backed and let the senior male get up and stagger away. He turned and saw several deer on the meadow looking at him in awe.
He did not have to be a herd leader to know what was going to happen next. Galin would send his largest males to come to get him, maybe even himself. One deer he could fight. Many deer as big or bigger than he was he could not. Now, what to do? He could not go back the way he came. He would run into whoever they sent after him. He could try hiding in these woods. Galin would just keep on looking until they found him. He could go further downstream and try to lose them. No, his best chance was to leave the forest altogether. He only hoped Tylos was right about Bambi's Old forest. He turned to face the other deer.
"The herd leader is coming here. He is not happy I taught you how to avoid predators. He may try to hurt you. Run and hide in the forest. He will come after me so I will hide further away. Remember what I taught you and teach it to those who come here. Good luck."
No one said a word as he walked down the length of the meadow now in the late evening. Not one of the deer on the meadow seemed to care if he was going, and no one offered a word of thanks. They just went on with their lives as if he had not ever been there. He had taught them, help them survive, and drawn the anger of the herd leader for his efforts. He had asked himself before why he did this. Now, however, he had the answer.
It was like what Stranger taught his son and the others. Someone has to step forward if anything was going to get done. Otherwise, everything fell into disorder. He saw it clearly for the first time. Being the herd leader was not just what you felt toward the deer in the herd and what you should do for them. It was what you felt inside of you of what you must do for them. In the past, he had done what he did here and back in his herd not to hear praise from other deer, or get the respect of the senior males, although that did help. He did it because he knew he had to do it. Something inside him told him he had to do it and that was the only thing that mattered.
As he walked through the forest, he thought more and more about this. The more he thought about what he did and, how the others trained him, and what all the others told him, an idea slowly crystallize in his mind. It was he and he alone who decided he had to help. No one else could make him want to do that. He had to want to do it on his own. Stabo, Bambi, his parents, and Juon then taught him these skills on how to help and not get killed doing it. They gave him the skills, but it was up to him to know what to do and when to do it. Those skills plus his desire to help are what made him a senior male and why the other deer were not. That need to help was born into you or it was not there, then no amount of training would put it there. That is why Garris failed. He had the skills, but not the need to help. With the skills and his desire to help the deer he understood at last: it was not the thanks from the herd, it was not praise from his family, it was not even getting his pick of doe to breed. He helped the other deer for one reason and one reason only.
It was simply the right thing to do.