A/N: I just wanted to get this finished and out here, because it wasn't fun to write, but it's an important part of the story.

Next chapter might need a bit more time, so don't know when I'll be able to post it. Be patient :D

TW: Violence and sexual assault (not super graphic, but bad enough).

Amanda stepped hesitantly inside the dark and somewhat crowded bar. It smelled like sweat, urine and cigarettes, and she already felt like she needed a shower.

Her blue eyes scanned the room until they landed on his face.

Thirty minutes ago, she had gotten a call from one of her father's drinking buddies. "I think it's time for your daddy to go home, Mandy."

She was used to this. Had done it since she could drive a car.

But tonight something felt off. He wasn't in the middle of some meaningless bar fight, or passed out drunk in one of the booths. He wasn't covered in vomit either.

He just stared back at her with a look on his face that she couldn't quite place.

"What am I doing here, you look fine to me?" She shrugged.

"Nice of you to join us, Mandy." One of his buddies said as he came up behind her and put an arm around her shoulder.

Her father just kept staring at her.

She tried to lean away from the grip, but Jack held her firmly.

"Your daddy here just wanted his favorite daughter to have a little fun tonight, isn't that right, Jim?"

Her father simply nodded before taking a swig at his beer. He dried his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Ok, thanks but I've got better things to do." Amanda said, her voice thick with annoyance. Once again she tried to free herself from Jack's strong arm.

"And what's that, Mandy? Jumping into bed with your girlfriend?"

"Wh-"

"Oh, your old man here told us everything about how you're suddenly a raging bull dyke."

Amanda looked at her father with shock in her eyes. "Daddy..." Her heart was pounding in her chest now, slowly realizing what was going on. He had set her up for this.

"And we all agree that it's time for you to learn a little lesson. I mean, surely he raised you better than this?"

"Actually, he didn't raise me at all." Amanda said right before she spat in her father's direction.

He barely flinched. He simply looked at Jack and gave him a little nod of the head.

Suddenly she was being dragged through the bar and towards the back door.

"What the- Stop it, Jack!"

"Nothing to see here!" He yelled out to the other patrons who were watching the scene play out. Most of them too drunk to notice, least of all care.

"Just Jim's little Mandy who couldn't handle her liquor."

"Let go of me!"

"You just need some fresh air, Mandy. Relax."

Suddenly she was pushed out the door and just as she eyed a chance to run away, two other men blocked her only escape route.

Tom and Jason.

She felt her heart sink. Of all the men her dad associated himself with, Tom and Jason were the worst. Always drunk, always so aggressive, always so mean.

"Hey there Mandy!" Jason said.

"Let me go." She said angrily. She might've been scared out of her mind, but the fight in Amanda Rollins wouldn't leave until her body was buried in the ground.

"I don't think so." Tom chuckled as he pushed her back and into the arms of Jack who was right behind her.

Jack wasted no time before using his big hands to pull at her leather jacket. When he succeeded to get it off her, he groped both of her breasts.

"Let me go!"

"Is this how you let your girlfriend touch you?" He grunted in her ear as he kept groping and gripping at her.

She winced in pain and felt tears well up in her eyes. Tom and Jason watched and laughed as she writhed and squirmed.

"Hold this." Tom said as he handed his bottle to Jason.

"And you hold her." He told Jack with a disgusting grin on his face.

Everything happened so fast and she had no time to prepare before he was suddenly tugging at her jeans. "No! NO!" She screamed, praying that someone would hear her.

But no one did.

And then his hand was inside her pants and between her legs and it felt like someone or something was sitting on her chest. She couldn't breathe.

"She's a little dry, but I think we can do something about that."

"No!" She screamed one last time and with a strength she didn't knew she had, she kicked Tom right between his legs and somehow managed to pull one arm free to elbow Jack in the nose.

And then she ran. She ran while her legs burned and the taste of blood filled her mouth. She ran faster than she had ever done in her life.

She didn't remember stumbling into Paige's apartment, and she didn't remember her girlfriend holding her in the shower.

But she would always remember that heart wrenching moment when she realized just how much her own father hated her.

"After that I kinda struggled with anxiety, probably PTSD, for a long time. I didn't want to go out, and sex was... Well, complicated. And as much as it hurt, I kinda get why Paige did what she did. We were young and she just needed an out."

Amanda stared down at the glass in her hands, avoiding Olivia's eyes, because she knew she would find so much compassion and empathy there and she wasn't sure if she could take it.

Olivia was in pain. And it wasn't the kind of pain she was used to. It went much deeper than the pain she felt when she listened to victim's statements. Or the pain she felt when she herself was the one being hurt. It reminded her of the pain she felt when Noah had been in the hospital. Desperate to make everything better, but feeling absolutely powerless to do so.

"Amanda..." She whispered as she moved a little closer to the blonde who was still seated on the edge of the couch, still clutching the glass of water.

"I'm so, so sorry."

Amanda bit her lip and dragged a hand through her hair.

"Yeah, well. It's in the past, right? Or at least it was." She shook her head slightly. "Last night, I don't know. The way he looked at you, and talked to me. It just... threw me back, you know?"

And Olivia did know.

She knew everything about triggers. How you could be perfectly fine one moment, only for something, a smell, a familiar face, even just a word, to set you off and then you were right back there. Back in that alley, basement, motel room, beach house. She knew.

"I know you told me not to treat you as a victim, but Amanda, I have to ask, do you know where your father is now? Are you safe?"

Amanda looked at her then, and Olivia recognized that face immediately.

"I might've kinda tracked his phone yesterday and I might've kinda visited his hotel to find out that he had checked out."

Olivia sighed. Of course she had.

"So that's where you were this morning? Cause I thought that you might've-"

"Gone to a meeting? Yeah, I should probably do that. But you know what? After I had the girls I barely even think about it. It's not like I don't feel the urge, it's just... more important to be a good mom."

"Good. That makes me really happy. But as your captain I should probably reprimand you for going rogue like that."

"Go ahead."

"I'm not going to." Olivia smiled and placed a hand on the small of Amanda's back.

"Come here." She said as she pulled Amanda against her. And finally the blonde relaxed and slumped back and into Olivia's arms.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you, and thank you for telling me." The brunette said before planting a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

Amanda pulled her legs up and let herself rest against Olivia.

She usually didn't like being cuddled, but she caught herself thinking how she could so easily get used to this.

"What are we doing here, Olivia? Are we being realistic about this or are we just fooling ourselves thinking we can actually make this work?"

It was brutal and honest and the exact same thing Olivia was thinking.

"I don't know."

She ran her fingers through Amanda's hair, and loved how natural and comfortable it felt.

"You wanna hear what Noah told me after you and the girls spent the night?"

"What?"

"That I smile and laugh more when I'm with you."

Amanda smiled and made a little humming sound against the brunette.

"If he only knew what went on behind the scenes." Amanda said, reflecting back on the last weeks.

"But that's the thing. As crazy as these weeks have been, with me, Elliot, you, your father, I'm still... really happy. And," she stopped herself, worried that she was going to say something over the top.

"What?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "I miss you, like all the time."

"I miss you, too."

"But you're here now."

"I'm here now."

Amanda turned her head then and looked at Olivia for a short moment before she closed the distance between them.

The brunette didn't know when, but at some point they had moved on the couch and she found herself on her back with Amanda on top of her.

The kiss was slow and delicate, and as much as Olivia wanted to, this wasn't about sex or lust. It was a silent conversation about going all in, and trusting each other along the way.

"You know what we need?" Olivia said as Amanda rested her head on the captain's chest.

"What?"

"We need to get away from the city. Take the kids and Frannie on a weekend trip somewhere."

Amanda laughed a little sarcastically. "Yeah, wouldn't that be nice."

"No, I'm serious."

"How are we gonna pull that off?"

"I'll figure it out."

A/N: So there you have it. Fuck Amanda's dad and his buddies, amirite?

But yay! for a weekend trip and the possibility of a little more fun with the kids and Rolivia love, if they'll ever be able to get away…