Chapter 8: Getting closer.
...
The days continued to pass and the confidence grew. We slept together every night and each time we made less effort to maintain that air line that separated us from feeling each other's body. Anyway, as soon as Anna fell asleep she invaded the whole bed and I was hit with a barrage of slaps, elbows, and kicks that made me wonder if I really rested better there.
Every morning after breakfast, we watched a movie, each time more comfortable and intertwined on the couch. After meals, we made a little reading and then play a board game, which I still didn't beat a single game and I began to suspect that she was cheating. When we got tired, we ate dinner and went to sleep again, and the cycle continued practically intact the next day.
They had already completed the first two weeks of confinement and it had been extended another two weeks, but neither of us seemed particularly affected by the lockdown. Although, the same couldn't be said about the death toll that continued growing and growing in a way that we never thought we would get to see. That catastrophe was sweeping the entire planet and the end didn't seem to be in sight.
One morning, in the middle of a movie, Anna picked up the remote and paused the playback. Then, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and threw herself into my arms.
I had no idea what to do, so I just let myself go and hug her tightly.
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you alright?" I tried to find out what it was that ailed her but with a soft tone that didn't imply a big intrusion into her privacy.
"What should I do, Kristoff?" she asked without taking her face off of my shoulder.
"About what?"
"What if my parents get sick? Or Elsa! And I am not there to be with them. What if I don't see them again and the last thing I did was run away from them?"
"Come on, that doesn't have to happen."
"But it's not impossible either, is it? You are seeing how every day is more and more people. It could even happen to us. What if they lose their daughter without being able to get close to her? What if you catch it for needing to do more shopping because I'm here?"
I understood her concern and partly shared it, but sinking in wouldn't help at all. I couldn't let her fall into that well.
"You are right. It isn't impossible. We can only take all the care we can to make sure that doesn't happen."
Anna squeezed me even tighter and I felt like that it hadn't been enough.
"Anna. Your family and mine are Norwegian. Do you know how strict Norwegians are? Chances are they take this so seriously that they get it under control right away."
"That could be true," she said slowly withdrawing and looking at me while she pouted her lips.
"I bet it is," I said without being able to avoid laughing slightly at her expression. "And as for us… we are young, we are healthy, and we will stay locked up here for as long as it takes so that our families can see us again, okay?"
"I don't bother you here?"
"Absolutely not."
She didn't say anything more, she just hit play and continued watching the movie hugging me and resting her head on my chest. I didn't know if the fearsome virus would ever get to me, but if she kept getting so close to me, my heart wouldn't give it time to do it.
From that day on, the distance between us narrowed even more; both emotional and physical. And every day I found it harder to deal with the overriding desire to possess her in a deeper, much more carnal, and less friendly sense.
The days became difficult to manage, the nights endless, and the morning showers more and more frequent. I began to fear losing control.
She was sweet to me, we had fun together, and she seemed to feel comfortable. Very comfortable. As much as she would be with a good friend. And that was what I had become in. For better and for worse. And I didn't know how long I could endure living outside of my own feelings.
We were already close to four weeks of confinement when one night, as soon as we got into bed, she turned to me and hugged my arm.
That was the moment. If I wanted to keep sane, it had to end.