Batman

He heard the alarm and went as fast as he could.

Superman moved at the speed of sound. Bruce made it a general rule to the League that they stay out of Gotham. If he used the JLA Communicator for this that meant things were bad. Clark tried not to think of the various worst case scenarios as he reached the Acme Warehouse.

Upon his ears picked up a cough, Clark flew faster.

Smashing the wall with his bare hands, Superman surveyed the situation. Bruce, still in the Batman costume, was coughing while lying on the bed, an infusion pump dumping a yellow liquid into him. The Joker was on another bed next to his, smiling his ever sickly evil grin while he was tended to by Harley. She panicked.

"Big blue's in town! Shit!" Harley cheered. "Mistah J we need to run! I was expectin' the birds or the kajillion Batgirls but not this!"

"Oh quiet Harley," Joker responded. "We already threw the gag out there, we might as well go all the way with it! Come on, welcome to the party!"

Superman didn't waste any time. "What did you do to him?!

"Now settle down Boy Scout you shouldn't be so angry until I explain everything." Joker smiled. "Which I will! See, I was taking a stroll around town, borrowing the usual materials I use to bring all the laughs to the dour city when I happened to come across something interesting."

The Joker pointed at the pump.

"A unique chemical compound that slowly drain the life out of the people. I'm not one to kill my favorite people, but I thought it would be funny if I shared it with your old pal Batman and see if anyone wants to try saving him."

"You diseased maniac!" Superman shouted. "Where's the cure?"

"The cure? Well…" Joker laughed, the same infuriating laugh that made Superman's skin crawl. "There's only one way to cure him. Catch!"

He tossed a syringe to Superman, who looked at him confused.

"See, in addition to be a clever comedian I'm a brilliant scientist! I pumped the stuff inside of me to check how it works. Turns out my unique chemistry turned the chemical into antibodies. Only drawback is that if you take my blood, I die."

"Don't…" Bruce, trying desperately to remain conscious, begged. "Don't do what he says… it's a trick…"

"You can't be too sure of that Batsy!" Joker grinned harder. "So what will it be Supes? You want to save him, you're gonna need kill me! Not save him and he dies while I live. Your code or your friend! Ohohohohoho what a lovely decision!"

Harley glanced back and forth between Superman and her Mistah J. Being his disciple (and girlfriend even if he won't admit it) she was familiar with this kind of trap. Batsy's only in a severe degree of pain but not actually dying. She wasn't sure if Superman could detect it given the X-Ray vision and the hearing and the other powers in his arsenal. Harley was actually curious. What would Superman do?

"Tick tock Superman," Joker said. "Made a choice yet?"

A laugh. It didn't come the Joker, like one would expect. No… it came from Superman. He held the syringe steady.

"Okay. You win." He said. "I'll draw your blood."

Harley had to check her ears for that. One she made sure there wasn't any left over ear wax from this morning, she allowed her jaw to fall.

"What…" Joker was also pretty gobsmacked. "I mean, what?"

"Yeah. Raised your arm." Superman smiled. It wasn't out of joy, more a sneer. "I don't like the situation, but if it means saving Batman I'll do it."

For a second, Batman struggled against the bed, trying to say something, break out, but his body was too weak. Whatever he said, Superman didn't register it. He didn't need to. He knew what he was doing.

"Whoah let's not get crazy here!" Joker took a step back. "No objections or anything? No third option no nothing?! You're just giving up?!"

"Why not?" Superman said. "Someone's going to die either way. Better the mass murdering lunatic from Gotham than it's favorite son."

And his husband though Superman left it unsaid. He doesn't want this monster to know anything.

"Wow, the great Superman just gives up!" Joker laughed. "I wish I had a camera so I could record it! I won, you lose and snooze and-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, you're playing five dimensional chess against me and this is somehow going all according to your master plan even though when the dust settles you'll be dead, I won't go crazy murdering everyone for no reason and you won't get your ultimate final battle with Batman."

Harley had never seen the Joker's eyes twitch so violently. His hands were shaking in bitter spiteful rage.

"Come on Joker," Superman said. "You wouldn't want to leave this Earth without pulling a great gag. This? Just pathetic really."

"Oh you want funny! I'll give you fucking funny!"

The Joker punched Superman in the chest. He clutched his hand in pain, now realizing he had broken it.

"Okay thanks for that." Superman grabbed Joker's hand, readying the syringe. "Be ready!"

"No… no wait I was kidding!" Joker's eyes widened and his voice broke. "The chemicals won't actually kill Batman! It's temporary! Please don't kill me!"

"Mistah J!" Harley cried out. "I thought we were supposed to go all the way with a gag!"

"Nuh uh, not me! I quit! Not going to lose to the big blue boy who can't wear his undies in the right direction."

Superman smirked. "All edge, no bite… you really are a bad comedian Joker."
_

After locking up Joker and Harley in Arkham, Superman took Bruce to the Bat Cave.

Alfred tended to his master, wiping the blood drawn from disconnecting the pump. Bruce looked over to Clark.

"Thanks Clark." Bruce said. "It was an impressive bluff you made there."

"Learned it from the best," Clark smiled, kissing Bruce's cheek. "Didn't think you'd call me to be honest."

"The children were out on a mission. You were the only one that could get here fast enough."

"Love you too Bruce."

"Brrrrr. Using that word. Don't repeat it."

"What? I love you?"

"There you again."

Clark laughed. Alfred rolled his eyes.

"Well you're clearly content in your lover's quarrel," Alfred walked up the stairs, "See you both in the morning."

They were left alone. Bruce searched his husband's face and body, while Clark stood there and smiled.

"About that what happened Clark…"

"Hm?"

"If the Joker hadn't been lying…" Bruce said. "Would you really have let him die?"

Clark sighed. "Bruce…"

"Really Clark?!"

"If it was between you and him, I would have." Clark decided to stand his ground. "You know I despise killing anyone as much as you do."

"Then why contemplate it at all?!" Bruce was shouting now. "No one deserves to die!"

"No one does. But Bruce, it was between him or you. If it turned out killing him would save you… I'd feel horrible for the rest of my life, I would be ashamed, I would take anything you say afterwards… but I'd do it. What kind of hero would I be if I let a single innocent life die just so I could feel better about having unstained hands."

Clark looked away. "I only hope when the time comes you'd do the same."

Neither said a word. Bruce was no doubt furious, whether himself or Clark it didn't matter. Superman sighed.

"I'm going to head to bed. Care to join me?"

Bruce got out of the table. "In an hour. There's things I need to check on the Bat-Computer."

Clark nodded. He didn't want to admit it, not now, but he knew a rift had formed between them just now. He just hoped it would resolve itself sooner rather than later.

Author's Notes:

I had a surprisingly good time writing this. It's a bit of a fix fic for Action Comics #719 where Joker similarly infects Lois with a poison and Superman IS ABOUT TO LET HER DIE instead of killing him. It was such a bad display of Superman's no kill rule that I decided to call a do over.

As for Batman… well, I don't have a lot of positive feelings about him these days but writing his interactions with Clark felt natural. I liked doing it.

I won't be posting any more of these on here. I don't feel comfortable posting. Anyone who wants more can check my AO3. I'll mark this as complete.