In the neon-laced darkness of the Adult Entertainment Zone, only the loudest of clothing and skin tones can be readily made out. So naturally it's Sylvia and her red scales leading the band of Jedi deeper into the murk. Chris is absent from their number, opting to stay back at the base to nurse an ailing Jennings. In lieu of his presence, he handed the heroes the last injector and these simple instructions:
"Just listen and follow the loudest, most obnoxious sound in the area. When you get there, and this is very important: do not get noticed, under any circumstances. Otherwise that circus act of yours will seem like a round of shuffleboard by comparison."
Thus the Jedi go in search of their final member, following a deep thumping sound that's both heard and felt over the "usual" noise. Eventually they arrive before a massive nightclub, outlined in vibrant electric blue and dubbed the "Zero-G Anomaly". There is a very lengthy queue leading into the building: dozens of folks from every race, class and age demographic chatting among themselves, not seeming to mind the standstill they're in.
"Boy that's a lot," Sara says. "Can only imagine what's on offer inside."
The Jedi ignore common courtesy and go straight for the door, which is being blocked by a thick velvet rope and the watchful gaze of Duff McWhalen, killing that gruff biker/bouncer look with a fresh black leather vest and sunglasses. Sylvia approaches the massive Maverick and says over the tremendous thumping of the interior, "Hi, me and my friends were wanting to come in."
"Are you on the list?"
"It's important that we get in."
"Only VIPs can waltz in, lady. Otherwise you're gonna have to wait at the back of the line."
Sylvia sighs, then tries a different tactic. "Well, how about checking for 'Sylvia'; could you do that?"
Duff grunts before pulling a clipboard from his vest. After two seconds he says, "Nope, not on here."
"Are you sure? Can I look at it?"
"No you can't; there's no 'Sylvia'."
"Here, just let me see real quick…"
Sylvia reaches for the clipboard, and as Duff pulls it away she shoves her claw forward and rams the board into his broad snoot. The Ssi-Ruu then elbows the dazed robo's gut, takes hold of his arm and slams him onto the ground. She wipes her claws as her comrades stare.
"Dang Sylv. Being a little rough there, aren't ya?" Jo remarks.
"I'm not wasting time here. Let's head inside."
The group nod and skedaddle past the unconscious bouncer and into the club. Cutting through a tiny foyer they push open a set of double doors and are immediately blasted by a wall of sound, odor and rampant energy.
The place is bowl-shaped like an auditorium, all its curved floorspace packed with busy bodies. Everyone's literally jumping to the thumps of an EDM mix of "Give It Up", all loaded down with glow-sticks, body paint and darklight clothing. At the center of this sweaty whirlwind, atop a stage rigged with an absurd amount of sound equipment, is a turntable manned by the littlest Jedi of all: Squishy.
Gloves aglow in the ultraviolet, with slatted shades, headphones nearly as big as his head and some weird solar system ring headgear, he works and scratches the vinyls like a maniac, warping and spinning the music according to his indecipherable whims. To his right, a smaller turntable is being operated by Gravity Man, also wearing sunglasses and fake gold chains. On the left side of the stage, the dancing oldie from the Six Flags commercials is busting some moves, looking mighty fly despite having exploded nearly two decades ago.
The Jawa manages to control himself long enough to lean toward a mic.
"Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everyone keep bumpity jumpin' in this place! The good times just keep flowin' with your boy DJ Singularity at the helm, and the party never stops here at ZG-AAY! So don't stop while your mix meister kicks up the notches to astronomical degrees. That's right: infinity and Be-YOOOOOOND!"
A round of hype from the partiers as the track switches over to that old standard Darude's "Sandstorm" as the strobe lights go bonkers. The Jedi aren't caught up in the excitement, however. If anything, Sylvia only looks more determined.
"Let's get down there."
Our heroes plunge into the undulating, euphoric mass. They nudge downward a few yards, but resistance grows as dancers bunch up thicker and tighter, forcing the Jedi to shove their way through.
"Excuse me, excuse me, pardon us," Sara says as she scoots along, but she gets shoved by one boisterous dancer. Will keeps her from falling, but he himself gets glomped, as do some other Jedi. Alex gets fed up and pushes one reveler extra hard, knocking down several bystanders in the process.
"Yo what's your problem?" one guy complains.
"In a hurry, sorry," Anna says, pushing aside people who have begun closing in on them.
"Why the rush? You guys need to chill."
"Sorry, can't," Jo says.
"Come on, cut loose!"
"Get with the groove."
"Come dance!"
"Get out of our way!" Sylvia shouts at the encroaching crowd, baring her teeth as she muscles some space for herself. Suddenly there's a deafening record scratch as the music cuts off.
"Hey hey hey, what's the commotion out there? Let's shine us a light!"
A floodlight flashes directly on the Jedi.
"Oh boy…" is all Will can say as all eyes in the club focus on our heroes, including Squishy's. He lowers his shades to get a better look through the pair he has underneath.
"It looks like we got some party-poopers in the hiz-ouse tonight, and ZGA has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to wet blankets. Maybe raising the bass will be enough to wring them out and get them back into everyone's orbital alignments, and who better to deliver than your funkadelic DJ and his stellar crew? So ditch those negative vibes, bid farewell to earthly attachments and kiss the stars as we achieve Ultra-Omega-Deluxe Phonic Singularity. Let's turn up da NOOOOOOOOISE!"
Squishy tosses away a record as he yells, twirls a fresh one on his fingertip, then slaps it on the turntable, setting the needle to initiate "Black Sphere".
Waves of pure bass energy pulse from the stage, vibrating the whole interior with every thump. The attendees bounce-bouncity-bounce-bouncity-bouncing-bounce in time to the beat.
Light shines on Gravity Man as he ramps up the bass further and reduces gravity, making everyone jump higher and higher with each beat, whipping everyone up into a frothing clapping frenzy until
Me And My Lady
The club descends on the Jedi, coming in singles, doubles, lines, and whole groups. Sylvia and crew repel them as they come, even going rapidfire in tune to the music. They link hands and spin to clear some space, then take advantage of the lower gravity to get aerial. Will and Sara combo in midair to kick away attackers while Alex slams Anna into the ground to blow away opposition with a seismic bounce. Sylvia sticks it to glow-stick enthusiasts and Jo pacifies pacifier-suckers as they advance on the epicenter of the madness.
The group sliiiides under a falling mob then leeeeap over a charging crowd to land at the foot of the stage, only for Gravity Beetle to slide in and fire a gravity well to the bae-da-bae-da-bae-da-bass.
Astro Man and Izzy Glow put on a dazzling light show to the sound of cheers as our heroes orbit helplessly in the middle of the room. Some tranquility later, Volt Catfish springs up from the floor and fires off lances of electricity as the club clap-clap-claps its hands, and the sparks burst-burst-burst in the air, and when the countdown begins the gravity well pulls in Catfish and steadily shrinks, getting smaller and smaller and shaking and flashing and sucking in patrons until achieving maximum density at which point
Hey Mr. DJ!...
Just Turn Me On
LET'S GO!
The singularity explodes, popping off the Jedi like confetti. They reorient to face the oncoming Disco of guests below, kicking fools and bouncing about the place until Dark Dizzy puts a Dark Hold on the Dance Floor. Izzy breaks the beat, rocks the beat, feels the beat with his lasers, allowing the heroes to bash the bat and make headway, only to have their Satisfaction halted by Flash Man (Di-Di-Di-Disco!).
They break free from that as well and bowl him over, getting within Disco distance of the stage before Gravity Beetle confronts them again. Another wild light display above by Izzy as the Jedi dance around Beetle's gravity shots, with Sylvia lunging forward to kick him right up into the firefly.
The six leap straight for Squishy's turntable, but are snagged away by Gravity Man and his hovering rig, who alongside the Six Flags dude face them in the air to Make Some NOISE!
LET'S GO!
Che-Che-BRING IT Che-Che-CHECK IT as the geezer styles and break dances around the Jedi onslaught, flopping popping and locking on the ceiling and even Alex and Sara like his own private Dance Floor. But his hubris does him in as he engages Anna for a tango, who plays along with a twirl, only to out-twirl him and fling him at Gravity Man's deck like a bola, knocking the DJ out and busting his set-up. Gravity goes haywire, launching everyone off their feet, including Squishy.
He Breaks the ceiling Brings the floor Fixed the wall Bass into Rockin Astro Moves Catfish Discos Beetle DJ they see him DJ they reach him DJ then catch him DJ then stick him DJ and that's DJ DJ DJ D-D-D-DDDDDDDDDDD
STEVE WARZ
CASINO NIGHTS
WRITER COS
MUSIC
IRISS
THANK YOU
FOR READING
BLACK
O
SPHERE
Author's Note: Seriously, go watch the MV for Blacksphere, or the avoidance version in I Wanna Kill The Kamilia 3. It's some wild stuff.