Fuck

Katie knocked on Noah's door. She had had an awful night of sleep. She couldn't really rest well, and not only because of the stone bed, it was knowing Eva was eliminated. She had no one now, no one, except Noah. There was a small problem with the whole situation, she didn't really like Noah. They've never talked, and the one time they did she was lying to him, what a bad way to start the relationship.

Noah on the other hand was sort of excited to see Katie. He had the upper hand, he had his secret alliance with Ezekiel, all he had to do was play nice in front of Katie and get her to vote Gwen or Tyler out and they'd be set.

She knocked on the door knowing Ezekiel and Tyler wouldn't be there. She had seen them head to the mountains earlier, funnily enough, they were without Gwen, perhaps she would join them there, perhaps she wasn't invited. Well "knocking" is a way of saying, the door was stone, so she threw rocks at it.

"Give me a second." Noah spoke in an uninterested voice as it was usual from him. He took a while before actually opening the door, not because he was doing something, he was just laying in bed, but because it took him a while to switch his mind from 'alone mode' to 'social mode'.

He opened the door. "Hey…" Katie spoke awkwardly, she didn't really know how to approach Noah.

"Hey." Noah knew exactly what he needed Katie for. He needed her to kick off Gwen or Tyler today, nothing else. He wasn't interested in her or her wellbeing. He just wanted her to cooperate to get himself to the finale with Zeke.

"Look…" Katie started. "I know we're not friends but… We only have each other now, we have to stick together."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He lied. "But what will we do? It's three versus two." Noah wanted it to be Katie who came up with the idea to ask Ezekiel for help. He didn't want to underestimate her and have her realize what was going on if he was the one who brought it up.

"Well…" Katie thought. "Tyler and Gwen are not voting each other out anytime soon, right?"

"I don't think they are, no."

"So we have to convince Ezekiel to work with us!"

"And how in the world would we do that." Noah assumed Katie wouldn't have an answer to that, but incredibly, she had thought it through before coming here.

"Well if he takes Tyler and Gwen to the final three, they'll take each other to the finale. But if he takes us two…"

"We are not exactly friends, so he has better chances, I see." Noah was impressed by Katie's logic.

"Yeah! So it's better for him if he leaves Gwen and Tyler behind."

Noah was genuine this time. "Well thought Katie."

"Thanks! I try my best."

"You sure do." Noah looked inside his cabin. "Well, I'm going back inside."

"Aren't you going to talk to Ezekiel?"

"I will, but later, not now. I want to rest."

"Hm, ok but don't delay it too much."

"I won't, don't worry. Goodbye." He closed the door on her and she was left alone outside the cabins. What strange little man he is, she went back inside her cabin, Gwen was there.

Zeke and Tyler were laying down in the mountain, watching the birds in the sky. Zeke found the whole ordeal really calming and humbling, Tyler was a little bit bored but he was pushing through for his friend's sake.

"I sometimes wished I had binoculars, yo." He said, still looking to the sky.

"To see the birds up close? That's kind of weird."

"Birds are beautiful, you don't need people when you have birds."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Animals are great, eh? Everyone turned their back on me, everyone abandoned me but animals… They stayed around."

"Oh…" Tyler sometimes forgets Zeke was left alone on a sunken island for like two years. "Well I'm glad you have someone man, being alone really blows."

"Have you been alone, Ty-ty?"

Tyler grabbed his hand. "Yeah… But I've always had my team to cheer me up!"

"Ah come on yo, that's not really being alone if you had friends around."

"Hm, I guess you're right."

"I had no one, not a single soul, it was hell."

"I really admire your temper man, I would've probably killed Chris by now."

Zeke thought a while. "Oh I would love to kill Chris." He laughed.

They looked at the sky a little more, until Tyler spoke out. "You're going to vote one of us out today, aren't you?"

Zeke froze in place, he did not expect that. "Uh, what makes you say that?"

"Well I was thinking about what you said the other day when you tried to convince me to take you to the finale."

Zeke stayed quiet.

"If you tried to convince me it's because you want to take someone who would take you, you know? And we won't so it makes sense you'd ditch us for Noah and Katie."

"You're smarter than we give you credit for, yo." Zeke was disappointed in himself, can't believe he couldn't keep this secret.

"No hard feelings man, it's just a game."

"Yeah… Just game…" Zeke didn't truly believe those words. "Good luck getting immunity then."

"Same to you!" Tyler stood up. "I'm gonna go now, I'm a little bit bored."

Zeke chuckled. "Goodbye Ty-ty."

"Welcome back." Gwen was laying in bed staring at the rock ceiling.

"How can you stay in bed when it's just a rock?"

"Beats standing up." She sat down on the bed and made a little space for Katie to sit next to her. "Are you doing better?"

"Yes! Thanks for caring…"

"Hey no problem." Gwen put her hand on her shoulder. "Sometimes you just need a little support, you know?"

"It was really nice of you…" Katie thought a little, maybe this was her chance. "And what's up with you?"

"Excuse me?" Gwen laughed.

"Yeah! What are your troubles?"

"Katie!" She found this adorable but she didn't understand why she was doing it.

"Give me your angst, girl! And I'll cure it with friendship."

"Katie I'm ok! I'm pretty fine with how things are…"

"But come on! This is what friends do right?" Right after Katie said that Gwen realized… She was just doing what Sadie wanted.

"No, not all friendships have to be like that."

"Well but good friendships-" Katie turned around to face Gwen, but she grabbed her hands and held them to calm her down.

"No, all friendships are good friendships."

Katie thought a bit, disappointed. "Fine…"

"See? It's all good."

"Can you at least tell me something?"

"Like what?"

"Well, you tell me! Something about your life right now!"

"Oh well there's nothing to say…" Gwen wasn't good at sharing, she had things in mind, sure, but she didn't know what or why to mention it.

"Nothing at all?"

"I mean…" She thinks a little. "I think at first I was frustrated with the competition and the drama but I think with time I understood why people play this game."

"It's fun!"

"I mean sometimes…" Gwen changed to a more serious, concerned face. "You know we're going to eliminate you, right?"

"Today?"

"Well no, Noah should go today but, you go right after."

"Hey I'm playing the game too, I'm not going to go down that easily."

"That's good to hear… Tho we could make an arrangement of sorts."

"What is it?"

"We could take Zeke out in the final 4 and keep you in."

"Well but then I'd have to win the challenge."

"You don't think you can do it?"

"Of course not!"

"Didn't you see yourself on the obstacle course? You dominated!"

"I guess so…" Katie stood up to leave. "I'm still not convinced tho, thanks for the talk Gwen."

"See ya girl."

"God, do you climb up here every day?" Noah was tired from climbing up the mountain to where Zeke was. "How come you don't get tired?"

"It's been only two days here, eh? Take a seat."

"Yeah but before that you used the other mountain…"

"I like climbing, gets you closer to the sky."

Noah sat next to Zeke who was still laying down. "I talked to Katie."

"She's onboard?"

"Absolutely, it's Gwen or Tyler today."

"Yo, nice." Zeke stayed silent while watching the sky. "Haven't seen a bird in so long..."

"Well maybe they don't like this part of the island."

"Yeah, maybe. But I saw some earlier today, and yesterday."

"Then what do you think it is, genius?"

"A bad omen, eh? Mom used to tell me about those."

"I don't believe in superstition, it's a stupid way of-."

"I know, I know… Just saying."

Noah sat in silence for a little more, not knowing exactly what to say or do.

"Is that it, man?"

"I guess so, I'll be heading back now."

"Ah come on, don't come all this way for nothing, stay a little!"

"And do what?"

"Watch the sky with me! It's good for the soul."

"I don't believe in-"

"Just do it, eh?"

"Hmph…" He laid next to Ezekiel. Maybe watching the sky was not so bad, what was he going to do anyways? Sit in the cabin and watch the wall? At least here he had some company.

"I know we started off on the wrong foot but you're alright." Zeke started

"I don't know how I feel about you… The appearance sure doesn't help."

"Are you that superficial?"

"Yes. It's not like I'm going to leave you for it, I really need this win."

"I know, you've told me… You've never told me why tho."

"I remember telling you I didn't want to talk about it."

"Oh yeah for sure but what is friendship without-"

"You're not my friend, we're just working together, don't get it twisted."

Zeke was starting to regret his decision, Tyler wouldn't say something like that. "I get it, eh? Professionalism, it's alright."

"Thanks… For understanding." Noah really meant that.

"Campers! Today's challenge is special" Chris was talking to the remaining contestants from the bottom of a very steep cliff. "The competition is developing really interestingly, you're doing a great job keeping up the drama, kids."

"No problem boss." Zeke stated, which got him a few weird looks from his peers.

Chris coughed. "Anyways, it seems like the ones on the line are Gwen and Tyler, so today's challenge is going to be different."

"We? Why are we on the line?" Gwen was confused, Tyler hadn't given her the news yet.

"Oh yeah uh, Gwen? Zeke is backstabbing us…"

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I haven't seen you all day!"

"The little shit-"

"Hey, no hard feelings, gothie." Zeke interrupted. "Just doing what's best for myself."

"What a traitor you turned out to be." Gwen said playfully.

"Juicy…" Chris was enjoying himself. "Anyways, as Gwen and Tyler are on the line we made a challenge just for them!"

"Just for us? Like only us compete?" Tyler didn't like that.

"No, nothing like that. The gist of it is either both of you get immunity, or everyone else gets immunity."

"What?!" Noah wasn't fancying this. "You can't give immunity to both of them."

"Actually yes, I can! And you'll have to vote one of your own when that happens. So if you want to avoid it, win the challenge!"

"Wait a second." Came in Tyler. "It's two vs three!"

"Noah doesn't count." Chris spoke confidently, and everyone agreed, including Noah. "So, Tyler and Gwen will be at the top of the cliff. They'll be equipped with different elements and weapons, or rather leftover props from other shows to attack you with. At least one of you has to climb the cliff without getting hit down, if you go down the cliff you're eliminated from the challenge, capisce?"

"Good luck Gwen!" Katie was being genuine, and Gwen knew that.

"Good luck!"

"Well team…" Zeke gathered Katie and Noah around, this was going to be hard. "One of us has to get up there."

"Yeah that's not going to be me, sorry." Noah knew what he could and couldn't do.

"Ok but Katie, you hear me? We have to nail this."

"I'll do my best… For Eva."

"Yeah! For Eva, whatever, but do it, ok?"

"Ok!" Katie didn't like Ezekiel that much, and he certainly didn't like Katie either, but there was a mutual understanding between them that they had to give it their best to make this happen.

Tyler and Gwen were at the top of the mountain, it was time. Zeke, Noah, and Katie prepared to charge against the cliff. It was definitely possible, it was just going to be challenging.

Tyler and Gwen had had some time to prepare, the top of the cliff was packed with weaponry. There was a tennis ball shooting machine, a harpoon, a bucket of baseball balls, some tree logs, and three piles of rocks that would fall down the mountain if you pushed them a little.

The way to the cliff had defensive elements as well. It was plagued with trees for cover, and the campers didn't know this, but there were different sorts of shields buried beneath the rocks.

Chris sounded the siren, it was time to go. The three contestants took off running in different directions. Noah through the left, Zeke through the middle, and Katie through the right.

Noah had it the hardest. Gwen, who was in charge of the tennis ball shooter, knew Noah was the weakest link of the three, so she started shooting at him first. Noah managed to hide behind a tree to avoid getting hit but was mostly stuck there for good. "Huh guys… A little help here?"

"Sorry yo, only one of us has to make it." Was Zeke's excuse to leave Noah stranded in the tree as he kept moving forward. "Katie we have to charge!"

"Let's do this!" She screamed, and together they ran forward.

Tyler had an idea. "Don't worry, I got this" He said to Gwen and brought one of the logs from the pile into the cliff and threw it down.

The log rolled down, Katie saw it coming but Zeke was not paying enough attention. "Watch out!" She shouted, but the log hit Zeke and he fell face to the floor. Katie managed to jump it successfully and keep running.

Gwen changed her aim from Noah to Katie, who was higher and more threatening. Noah looked at his feet, and buried beneath the dirt, was a cop shield. "Hey ghoul! Look what I found." He screamed.

"Ah great! Give that to me!" Zeke screamed. And Noah took off running towards him.

"Not so fast!" Tyler grabbed the bucket of baseballs and started throwing them at Noah. Just as a baseball hit his face, Noah managed to throw the police shield in Zeke's direction, who grabbed it. Noah fell back down the hill and was eliminated from the challenge.

"You traitor scum!" Gwen shouted at Zeke. "What are you going to do with that shield?" Gwen sounded harsh but she was just playing along with the drama, she wasn't actually mad at Zeke.

"I'm going to go up there and beat your fucking-"

"ZEKE, this is a dramatic moment, watch your language." Chris interrupted with his megaphone.

"Oh shit sorry uhh… What was I saying?"

"I'm going to go up there…"

"Right! I'm going to go up there and beat your… Beat… You… Beat you!"

"Would love to see you try." Tyler grabbed a harpoon that was nearby.

"Are you sure you can deal with that?" Asked Gwen.

"Watch this, girl." He aimed the harpoon at Zeke and threw it. The thing blasted through the shield destroying it completely and almost hit Ezekiel in the face. The impact was so strong, that he fell back, and was eliminated.

Gwen kept opening fire against Katie's tree hoping one ball would hit her with a bounce, or maybe the tree would fall and push her down. The bullets ran off, Gwen and Tyler looked at each other, hope seemed lost. "How many balls in the bucket?"

"Five." Tyler nodded, this had to be done.

Katie saw what was about to happen and she pulled off one of the tree branches. She could hear Zeke from behind her. "Hey batter-batter hey batter-batter swing!". It was time.

Tyler threw the first ball, Katie knocked it out of the park. Then a second ball, she crouched down and dodged it. The third ball came in, flew right over Katie's head. Fourth ball, Katie hit it away with her hand. It was now or never, the final four was close, she had to hit it. Tyler made his best throw, the ball traveled through the air at high velocity, from Tyler's hand right into Katie's bat, and flew right back at him, hitting him in the face.

Katie climbed the cliff and got to the top safely, Gwen and Tyler had failed. Zeke's screams of joy were unrivaled. Noah was pretty content with the victory. "Good job girl." Said Gwen, and gave her a pat on the back. "I knew you'd give a fight."

"Aw man, does that mean we're going home?" Tyler seemed really disappointed by his performance.

"Aw, it's ok Tyler, you did great!" Katie tried to cheer him up.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah! It's just a game anyways, you played great."

"Thanks girl…" Tyler gave her a smile, and they all climbed down the cliff.

Gwen was walking alone through the mountains. Zeke Katie and Noah were celebrating at the diner, Chef had prepared a little special feast for them, but Gwen? She was wandering alone, thinking.

She had come to terms with the possibility of going home today, there was nothing to be done about it. She had a fun run, she made two friends, things were alright, nothing to complain about on her side. This was the best time she had ever had in Total Drama, weirdly, because it was the season she least wanted to be in at first.

She was at peace, and maybe it was that peace that made her more perceptive, and she felt the warmness of the fire. The campfire. The campfire should've been empty, the elimination wouldn't happen in a few hours or so there shouldn't be anyone there, yet, there was a shadow.

The sight she approached was bizarre. It was Tyler, sitting alone by the fire. That wouldn't be weird by itself, but the insane part was his hand, he had it entirely placed within the fire.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"AH!" Tyler screamed. Gwen had scared the shit out of him. "What are you doing here? You scared me."

"Well I was walking through the fucking forest and then I-"

"Why are you saying fuck so much?"

"I don't know, I don't want Chris to put this conversation on the show."

"Oh… I guess I'll say fuck too then."

"What were you doing with your fucking hand?"

"Oh that? It's nothing…"

"Tyler?" Gwen got close to him and put a hand on his back. He was still sitting down. "Why were you doing that?"

"It helps me feel better, ok?"

"Burning your fucking hand makes you feel better? What insanity is this?"

"It's just…" Tyler didn't look like he had the courage to say.

"You can talk to me, it's ok."

"It started when Linds left me."

"Oh…"

"I started doing it every time I thought of her cause I read online that you can punish your body into not having certain thoughts, you know?"

"That's incredibly fucking stupid."

"Well but it ended up feeling nice after a while so I just kept going."

"Tyler… What happened?"

"Oh that's a funny story…" Tyler was trying to keep it together. He was smiling, and laughing a little as he spoke, but tears were flowing down his eyes anyways. "She just fucking forgot, I guess…"

"Forgot?"

"She forgot we were dating and started seeing other…" He struggled to say it. "Fucking people."

"Oh that's… Wow." Gwen couldn't help but giggle a little at the ridiculousness of it all

"Yeah… Fuck." Tyler wiped tears from his face as he joined the giggling. He was glad this convo wasn't going on TV, he wouldn't want Lindsay to see it. "It just hurts you know… That she cared so little about me."

"I'm sure she's just…"

"I was just a fucking kissing toy I guess." He couldn't keep it together while saying that, it sounded too funny. And the image of a little plastic Tyler that Lindsay could kiss in his head wasn't helping.

Gwen didn't quite know what to say, she just laughed along and stayed next to him.

"I don't like saying the f word…"

"Yeah, I can tell."

"Can we stop saying it now…?"

"Sure, whatever you're fine with."

"Thanks…"

They sat together for a little bit and looked at the fire. "This sucks."

"Yeah… I'm not good with feelings, sorry."

"I should be the one saying that, I'm supposed to help you."

"Well sure yeah but I don't know, I'm not usually sad I just have moments."

"Moments?"

"Yeah! Moments where things get sad and I go to the fire."

"Yeah…" Gwen was concerned. "Don't do the fire thing anymore."

"Why not?"

"It hurts you."

"But-"

"No, no buts." She grabbed his hands and put them in front of her. "I care for you, ok? And this is bad. Do it for me."

Tyler thought of it for a little. He looked at the fire and then back at Gwen. "Ok then…."

"Thanks." She gave him a smile, somehow that was all he needed as retribution. The fire was warm.

"Zeke, Katie, Noah, here are your marshmallows." Chris was standing in front of the campfire. Zeke was in the middle of the group, enjoying his white mush. Tyler and Gwen were sitting together, Noah and Katie were sitting apart.

"Now some of you really screwed me over today." Chris glared at Tyler and Gwen. "Ruining perfectly good drama with stupid cussin."

"You can always bleep it out." Offered Noah.

"That still gets us a PG rating, thought you'd know better, Noah." Chris looked back at the duo. "Now you two, you're in big trouble, and one of you is heading back to Playa de losers."

"Tyler…" Continued Chris. "You've been playing hard and trying your best, giving it your all at the competition and getting carried by others on the vote." He looked at Gwen. "Gwen, you've been judging other players and playing people's therapists in private."

"Well I didn't choose to-"

"Silence! The one going home today is…"

Tyler and Gwen looked at each other. For one moment, Tyler didn't care about going home, and he knew Gwen didn't mind either, but something bad filled his chest when the marshmallow hit his hand.

"Gwen… You're going home girl."

"Oh well, it's over then…"

"Bye Gothie…"

"Fuck you Zeke." She said, but she smiled at him, he smiled back and looked away, chuckling.

"No! Cussing! Jesus… I'm going to start taking it out of your salaries."

Gwen walked inside the boat, it was time to visit Playa. Tyler, Zeke, and Katie waved at her from land, Noah didn't bother, of course, he didn't. She entered the little room and went to bed, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

A/N: Another chapter with a gimmick on the title. I thought the concept of cussing to prevent airing the scene was kinda smart so I wanted to use it in at least one scene. Enormous thanks to Clemmykin for helping me figure out the tone of the Tyler and Gwen scene. It was originally too angsty and dramatic for something that's in essence a really silly situation.

What else was hard about this chapter? Katie and Noah, those interactions were hard to get through, I just kinda had no idea. I'm not going to make them interact less because of it but it's definitely a hard part of writing this fic.

Next is the second most important Playa Episode, where Courtney finally meets Gwen face to face. It's titled the same as the fic, because it's mostly the definition of reopening an old wound. I hope you read soon!