The Durmstrang men did not dwell long on their failures. They licked their wounds and then poured out the rum. Viktor, who had been missing throughout most of the operation, was celebrated with the highest regard.
"For Captain Krum! Long live the Captain!" The men cheered and lifted their mugs into the air.
"And Miss Granger," Severus added holding his mug in the air.
"And Mr. Snape," she concluded with a smile.
"Ah, yes…for your assistance. Cheers! Cheers!" Viktor finished his mug and immediately opened the next bottle.
The celebration did not last long and Hermione did not wait to see the end of it. The men finished the rum and passed out on the deck. Severus joined Hermione on the stern.
The waves had many songs to sing. In the morning, they were calm. In the afternoons, they followed the rhythm of Viktor's steering and called the men to action. Now at night, the waves made way for intimate conversation. They hummed and lulled the ship as though it were a babe.
Hermione had her toes bared. She hummed a tune and poured the remaining rum on the head of the unicorn.
"What a waste of perfectly good rum." Severus put his own shoes aside and sat down. "No need to punish the boat for giving you seasickness."
"I thought it would be rude to return with a full cup."
"They're all asleep, so you needn't worry about offending everyone with your sobriety."
Hermione tied her curls back in a cloth. Her thin ringlets sstill prung out in all directions. The curls suited her. Why she insisted on pressing them down was beyond his comprehension.
"Have I offended you?" She turned her head.
"On the contrary. You've been open enough with your thoughts."
More open than he had been, that was. He could not really blame her for thinking of him only as a friend. At the very least, she made it clear to him in words.
"Cokeworth then? Is that far from London?"
Severus imagined the giant Mill and the smell of charcoal on his father's hands. "Midlands. You probably haven't heard of it. An industrial little town full of nobodies."
"I wouldn't say that." She smiled.
"You would if you grew up there." He sounded very much like his father as he said the words.
"I grew up just outside of London and I can't say my classmates became somebodies."
"I'd wager your classmates don't know the first or last thing about magic. Puts you a step above them." Magic certainly put him a step above his own neighbours who became either Millers or Miners. "And you've achieved many academic milestones over the years, so that puts you a notch above at least half of your classmates at Hogwarts."
She gazed into the open. Her lips moved many times. Each time, the waves would hush her unspoken words.
"What if, this isn't what I'm meant to do? What if it's all a sham…I'm a sham. There's a life out there for me I'm meant to live and I'm not living it."
"You're still young and you're given a choice. It's more than most witches have. You could choose to live your life in whatever way you please."
"And if I choose wrong? What if I've chosen wrong already and there's no way out for me?"
"There is no way out for any of us Hermione. We live only forwards and look only to the future. Do you think I wanted to become a Caretaker? Did anyone want the war, the sacrifices, the failures we endured?"
He looked into her eyes. He remembered the passion by which Viktor described Fleur. By lantern light, Hermione's eyes also looked like two crystals.
"No, we didn't." She moved closer. "Is it selfish for me to only think of my own happiness? I-"
"I wouldn't say selfish. It's natural to want the best for yourself. Not all of us have the luxury of receiving what we want from life, but I think we are all in the right to pursue happiness."
They sat in silence, listening to the waves. Her hair brushed her cheek. He listened to her breath, watched her chest as it rose and fell with the tides.
"I'm sorry you had to become a Caretaker. It must feel, shameful to do less than what you're qualified for. To…watch someone younger do your job. I can't begin to imagine."
"There are perks to the job. I will not miss the grading or the parent complaints. And I don't have to think about the students at the end of the day. I just return to my room and rest." He turned his body to her. "You don't need to apologize."
The moon was sweltering tonight. He adjusted his shirt to let the breeze flow in.
"I mean to say, I mean-"
"Yes?" Her breath warmed his lips. He pulled away just before he could taste them.
"I mean, you can do whatever you desire. You can't know what is the wrong choice, or right until you make it. And it looks like it's quite late, we should be getting back to our cabins."
He stood up and extended his hand. She pulled herself up and walked forward. All the way back to the cabins, she didn't look at him once.
Viktor was right. Women, do as they please. Severus had no idea what he could have said or done this time to upset her. He didn't remember a single thing they discussed that evening specifically. He was on his best behaviour. He hadn't made a single snide comment or offensive joke. At least not one he remembered.
"Are you feeling ill again? I can brew a batch of the Stabilizing Potion for you tonight," he suggested.
"I still have Viktor's stores, thank you." She shut the door quicker than he could say goodnight.
Hermione could have had a smidge too much rum or sardines. Severus made his way to the kitchens to check the stores for Eucalyptus Relief Elixir or perhaps some Valerian Extract for her nerves. Viktor did not make a fuss about his supplies and was quite generous. So Severus took what he needed before heading back to her room.
"If you're not asleep, I found a few-" He saw her before he could finish the sentence. Hermione, still clothed, was standing in front of her desk.
"I will leave them here for you." He set the bottles up with the labels forward. Did she expect more? She did not remove her eyes from him even as he backed towards the door.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight and thank you."
Her words tingled in his ears. He had his hand on the doorknob, but he couldn't bring himself to pull it open. What was she thanking him for?
"I'm not exactly the most useful resource to discuss these matters with."
"No, I appreciate you listening."
"Goodnight." Severus forced himself to leave the room and shut the door very quietly. All the way back to his quarters, he found himself rather puzzled by her illness. Was she sick or was she not? Hermione had not been her usual snippy self. She was quite pleasant to talk to, just as she had been before they left on this adventure.
If someone told him Four days prior that he would be aboard the Durmstrang ship in the middle of the Caribbean Isles, he would have sneered his most terrible sneer in their general direction. Maybe Hermione was just as baffled as he was. Taken out of her usual routine, out of the school she spent most of her life in. That was it. Hermione Granger was homesick.