Author's Notes: Sorry for the long delay on this one, folks! I took some time to really flesh out and plan the rest of the chapters, so this one took a bit of a backseat. Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter ;) Read and review-Chapter Nine is in the works!
Chapter Eight
Someone is snogging another someone in the Charms corridor.
Lily sighs, looking at James with exasperation. "Want to take this one?" she mutters, gesturing down the length of the torchlit corridor.
He grins, shaking his head bemusedly, takes a deep breath, and yells, "OI! It's after curfew!"
The two girls spring apart, and Lily's eyes catch sight of long black braids swinging down someone's back.
"Elliott?" she asks, squinting into the darkness. "Is that you?"
The girls turn to face Lily and James, and sure enough, Elliott Griffin and another girl appear as Lily and James traipse down the corridor toward them. Elliott nods glumly, her hands tucked into the pockets of her jeans and her shoulders slumped. Her girlfriend, the same girl Lily had seen in Madam Puddifoot's, is wearing a similar expression on her face, her own hands crossed across her chest with embarrassment.
"Elliott!" James exclaims. "What the hell! You're a prefect!"
"I know," Elliott pleads. "Please don't take my badge. My mum's so proud. And she doesn't know I'm—" Elliott glances at the girl next to her, whose name Lily does not know.
She doesn't know I'm-. The incomplete sentence hangs between the four of them before James sputters awkwardly, finally understanding Elliott's meaning.
"We're not going to take your badge for this one little thing, Elliott," Lily says sternly, but hoping Elliott can sense the traces of understanding in Lily's voice. "But you know you can't be out of bed after curfew unless you're on rounds."
Elliott's head hangs low, and a stab of regret pierces Lily's heart for chiding the girl. Lily looks at James for help, who looks just as lost as she does. Finally, with a deep breath, Lily speaks.
"You're not in trouble, Elliott," she says, inserting more kindness in her voice than she ever has before. "I'm not going to tell anyone or take your badge or take points from your house. Do you trust me?"
Next to her, Lily feels James smile at her question as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, but she keeps her eyes trained on Elliott. Elliott nods, a small smile returning to her lips. "Yes," the younger girl says quietly. Something joyous blooms inside Lily at Elliott's response. She trusts me.
"Okay, good," Lily replies firmly. "Now, just go right back to the Hufflepuff common room and you—" She turns to the other girl. "—you're in Ravenclaw, right?"
Other girl, also with dark hair and eyes, nods, her eyes wide and terrified at being addressed so directly by the Head Girl. Lily wonders what sort of rumors have been spread about her prefect meetings and how she handles her Head Girl duties because this girl seems positively frightened.
"Go straight back to your common room, alright? If anyone stops you or asks why you're out of bed, you can tell them you're returning from a detention I gave you."
The girls give silent assents to Lily commands, briefly grasp one anothers' hands, and then depart in opposite directions. Lily watches after Elliott for a moment until her long, swaying braids disappear around a corner, before James speaks.
"That's the third pair tonight!" he huffs. "What's happened? Has someone snuck a Love Potion into the entire school's supply of pumpkin juice?!"
Lily laughs. Indeed, it was true. During tonight's rounds, Elliott and her girlfriend were far from the first couple they had caught snogging out of bed. James had spotted Marlene and Sirius kissing noisily behind a suit of armor that was making loud sounds of disgust, and Lily and James had both sent two Slytherins back to their beds after finding them in a heavy embrace and various states of undress in the Potions classroom.
"I suppose with the holidays coming up people want to get to snogging as much as they can," Lily suggests lightly with a spring in her step. She's feeling upbeat this evening, as if nothing could possibly go wrong, and she credits this to her newfound vow to not argue with James.
She'd committed to this for three full days, and it was working swimmingly. They hadn't argued or even had a mild disagreement since she'd decided that she simply wasn't going to lecture him or discipline him or fight him on anything.
It's true that he can push her buttons like no one else, but the more they seemed to butt heads, the more Lily found herself confessing things to him. And the less she confessed things to him now, the easier it would be after Stonehenge when he would return to cruising the halls with Hestia tucked under his arm. She found herself routinely biting her tongue when he annoyed her, but the oddest thing was happening as a result of her resistance to fighting with him. He was annoying her less, and she found him even charming at times. She laughed at his jokes with ease, and was even getting along with his friends. Just the other night, she and Sirius had done homework together, and Lily had secretly brewed a Pain Potion for Remus for the days before and after his transformations.
"Thanks," Remus had said owlishly, his eyes blinking rapidly, as Lily had pushed a flask into his hands.
"It's nothing," she'd said, but Remus had looked curiously at her as she sped away from him. Later, he'd offered her a game of wizard's chess, at which she lost spectacularly. He'd vowed to teach her after the school holidays, and thus, after their exams, for which she was relieved.
"I guess you're probably right," James replies with a wink at her. She's glad it's dark so he can't see her reddened cheeks. They stroll, their steps unhurried and almost leisurely. The earlier incidents with amorous couples had loosened Lily up even more, and as they walk in amicable silence, Lily wonders if James would still walk in silence with her when he and Hestia got back together. Would Hestia even let him do rounds with Lily? This thought fills Lily with dread, as though she were already losing James before it had even happened.
She pushes these thoughts away as they slip down the grand staircase that leads to the Entrance Hall, the marble of the steps gleaming in the darkness like a beacon. Lily glances at James, who glances back at her with a slanting smile on his lips. Their trainers are silent on the steps, and as they descend, the back of James's hand brushes lightly against the back of Lily's hand, sending a thrill of electricity up her arm.
And then, a voice cuts through the silence.
"Are you coming?"
Instantaneously, James's fingers lace around Lily's wrist, pulling her down so they're both crouching awkwardly at the base of the marble steps. James angles his body toward Lily, his eyes so wide that she can see the whites around his irises glowing bright through the pressing darkness. Slowly and silently, he raises a finger to his lips. Lily, whose lips are open in protest, immediately closes her mouth, obeying James's orders.
"I'm coming," says a low voice, making no attempt to be quiet, and with a start, Lily recognizes Severus's familiar drawl. Her eyes widen, and when she glances over, she sees that James's eyes are darting from the direction of the voices to the front door and across the wide expanse of the Entrance Hall.
"Well, hurry up," says the first voice. Damon Mulciber, Lily realizes.
"James—" Lily whispers, so low that it's more a sound than a word. His hand tightens around her arm, so painfully tight, that it makes her eyes water.
"Shut up, both of you!" says a loud hiss. A third voice, this one belonging to Roland Avery, is urgent in its attempt to quiet Snape and Mulciber from being overheard.
"Shut up, both of you," Mulciber mimics mockingly. Avery falls silent. The sounds of their shuffling footsteps seem to be inching closer and closer to Lily, and she realizes that in mere moments, the three boys will emerge from the dungeon steps and cross the Entrance Hall directly in front of Lily and James.
With a rising panic, she turns her face toward James, her eyes wide with dread. His face looks odd, though. He seems set on doing something, and for a wild moment, Lily grasps her wand, ready to hex Snape, Mulciber, and Avery into oblivion. But then, in a smooth movement, James releases Lily's wrist, reaches into the back pocket of his trousers and pulls out a long measure of fabric.
It's shimmering and fluid, like a smooth sheet of water with moonlight reflecting on it. Lily marvels at its beauty, forgetting for a moment her earlier panic, and as James tosses it over their shoulders, she forgets herself completely and gasps. Loudly.
Her body's gone. But no, it's not gone because she can feel her knee pressed against James's knee. But she can't see anything of both their bodies, and without a second thought, she reaches behind her and pulls the hood up over both their heads.
"What was that?" Avery's voice rings across the Entrance Hall, all attempts to be silent forgotten. A note of fright laces through his words, and a savage pleasure at his fear pulses through Lily. Or maybe that's just how wonderful it feels to be so close to James right now. "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Snape drawls.
"That noise," Avery says, and at last, Lily can see the three boys. Barely.
They're concealed under what appears to be three poorly done Disillusionment Charms. Lily can see a faint ripple through the air and the swishing of their robes is apparent even underneath the charm. If she peered closer, she'd see their three pairs of trainers crossing the Entrance Hall. She remembers that Severus was never much good at Charms, and she knows for a fact that neither Mulciber nor Avery show much talent for anything remotely academic, preferring to spend their time tormenting younger students and harassing girls in the corridors between classes.
"It came from over there," Avery's disembodied voice says. A ripple shaped faintly like a hand extends in the air, and Lily knows without a doubt that he's pointing directly at her. And then, she can feel three pairs of eyes trained on her, unseeing.
"There's nothing there," Mulciber replies carelessly.
"But I heard something," Avery insists, taking a small step toward them.
"There's nothing there, Roland," Severus says casually, turning toward the front door. "Now let's go."
"But he's—"
"Shut up!" Severus hisses, his eyes manic. "Do not finish what you were just going to say. Not here of all places."
"I thought you said no one was there." Avery is sulking now. Lily can almost imagine his ugly face pouting.
"No one is there, Roland," Mulciber taunts, the mocking tone returned to his voice. "But just in case that little Mudblood and Potter are hanging about, we don't want to give anything away, now do we?" Next to her, James stiffens at the epithet, his fists clenching. Silently, Lily reaches over to squeeze his arm, letting him know in her own way that she notices his small protest.
"They both have rounds tonight," Severus says, and Lily suddenly realizes with a jolt that Severus knows every single time she wanders the castle after dark. "But they've probably snuck away to shag or—"
"Blech!" Mulciber makes a retching sound. "Don't talk about Mudbloods shagging anyone, Snape. Not while there's still a chance he could make it so they can't reproduce."
His words are met with silence. Underneath the shimmering fabric, Lily's face warms with embarrassment, but it's nothing compared to the white-hot heat radiating off James at the vulgar conversation happening directly in front of them. His body is tightly coiled with rage, ready to spring up at any moment. She glances at him, and is surprised to find him already watching her, his eyes filled with fire and something else, something inscrutable that makes her heart tighten painfully in her chest.
They listen as the trio march out of the front doors, the heavy oaken door shutting silently behind them. Almost immediately, James rises, and Lily follows suit, but then he starts toward the door. She grabs his hand, pulling him back toward her, the gesture feeling strangely intimate underneath the material of what Lily can now ascertain is a cloak of some sort.
"What are you doing?" she whispers, craning her neck to catch glimpse his face. It's difficult when they're standing so close together.
"Let's follow them," James hisses. "They're going somewhere to meet Voldemort. I know it."
"Voldemort would never set foot at Hogwarts, James," Lily replies rationally, but she's not certain she quite believes her own confidence in her statement.
"So maybe they're going to Hogsmeade." He pauses, thinking, his brow furrowed. "Fuck! Snape knows how to get into the Shack from the Willow. Fuck! Fuck! Lily, we have to follow them."
Every inch of her body is protesting, not wanting to follow three Slytherins out into the dark grounds underneath some kind of magic cloak that belongs to bloody James Potter, but she finds herself nodding. "Alright," she says, the words more spilling out than her choosing to say them. And then—"I trust you."
For a fleeting moment, she sees something like triumph in James's face, but then he turns away, her hand still clasped in his, and she wonders if it was a trick of the light or the angle at which she was standing.
Silently, they creep across the Entrance Hall, and with a mighty heave, James pulls open the massive door. It creaks shut as they slip through, and suddenly, they're out in the freezing night air. Without thinking, Lily steps in closer to James, reveling in the warmth of his body. She closes her eyes, taking in a deep, orange-scented inhale, and then reopens them to find her arm linked through James's.
"Look," he says, pointing down the sloping lawn. Lily's eyes follow the direction he's pointing, and there, nearing the bottom of the lawn, are the three boys. Severus is distinct among them, standing nearly a full head higher than the others. Their Disillusionment Charms, however poorly they were done inside the castle, have now been completely abandoned.
"Where are they going?" Lily asks, ignoring the persistent thudding of her heart at being so, so near James.
James suddenly grins, and Lily nearly laughs aloud. "Let's find out," he says.
"Of course!" Lily exclaims, trying to keep her voice low. "Of course you want to follow them even further. Why wouldn't you? You're you, after all. "
"Don't you?" He raises his eyebrows at her. "Want to follow them? Are you telling me you're not just a bit curious about what they're doing out of bed? And Snape's a prefect!"
Reluctantly, she nods. "Well…yeah. I do. I am. Curious, I mean."
"I knew it, Evans. I'm a bad influence on you!"
"Isn't it possible that maybe I'm a bit of a good influence on you, too?" Lily suggests as they carefully but quickly make their way down the lawn, keeping a close eye on Severus, Mulciber, and Avery.
James nods solemnly. "That's probably true," he acknowledges. "After all, I didn't hex the three of them, and that's definitely your influence."
Lily rolls her eyes, but almost immediately refocuses as she and James near the three Slytherins, close enough where she can hear what they're saying.
"Where exactly did he say to meet him?" Mulciber is asking Severus, who seems to somehow be the leader of this little trio.
"He said we'd know when we got there," Severus replies swiftly, his tone betraying annoyance at the pestering of his companions. They don't seem to notice as Avery picks up the thread that Mulciber had started.
"But how?" he asks. "What will he show us?"
"How should I know?" Severus snaps loudly right as Lily's foot drops on top of a twig, which snaps loudly under her weight. Everyone halts. James's hand is like a vise on hers as the three boys ahead of them turn, eyes narrowed.
"Who's there?" Mulciber calls stupidly, looking right through Lily and James.
Lily's eyes drift to Severus, and even in the pressing darkness, she can see his expression clearly now. He's afraid, she realizes with a dawning comprehension. He's afraid of getting caught because he's doing something very, very wrong. The knowledge hits her like a rebounding curse, something unexpected and painful. His black eyes drift over her, and at the same time, James's hand tightens around hers. She stares defiantly back at Severus, her former friend. Her former best friend.
"Who is it, Sev?" Avery says in a low voice. Rage courses through Lily at the nickname—the name she used to call him. The very name she would still call him if he hadn't gotten in so deep so fast with Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Just weeks ago, he told her he still cared about her, and he held her as they kissed in the library under the kneeling knight. How could he be so filled with hatred for everyone like her, but not her? Why should I be any different? The question, the confusion, makes her almost lose her breath. And speaking of her breath—
It's cold out, and her breath is puffing up into big clouds in front of her face. Big, very visible clouds.
"They can see us," she mutters to James. "They can see our breath."
Immediately, James's body stiffens, and she knows he's holding his breath. She follows suit, trapping cold, crisp highland air in her lungs.
Severus takes a step forward, and then another and another until he's barely three feet away from exactly where Lily and James are standing. Lily prays that he doesn't step closer because she's wearing her rose perfume, and he would recognize it anywhere. For a long moment, his eyes trail over them, narrowing as he looks at James but doesn't see him. And then, he turns away and slopes back to his mates.
"There's no one there," he says loudly enough for Lily to hear, who slowly releases the breath she's been holding. Her palms are clammy, but James holds her hand just the same, albeit with a slightly slackened grip.
"Do you think he really believes there was no one there?" James mutters under his breath as they let the three Slytherins get farther up before resuming their tailing.
Lily shrugs. "I'm not sure," she replies. "He was never one to disbelieve something just because it couldn't be seen, you know?"
James frowns. "What d'you mean?"
"I mean—" She ruminates on his question. "I think I mean that—he was always open to the idea that there are unseen forces in the world that we can't control."
"So, like, ghosts."
Lily lets out a low chuckle. "No, we can see ghosts!"
"So…what?"
"I think I mean more like, there are things that we don't understand, no matter how much teaching or experience we have," Lily explains, keeping her eyes on Severus's receding back. "Things that we may never understand. He was open to that idea, I suppose."
"I mean…I suppose he's right," James says begrudgingly.
"Wait, James…" Lily trails off, watching the three boys ahead of her stop and start and then stop again. She can hear them murmuring to one another, their voices lower than ever with their heads bowed together. She looks around them. To their left, a small glimmer of light lets her know they're near the gamekeeper's cabin. To her right, the vast Forbidden Forest stretches out uninvitingly before her eyes.
She turns her head again to see Severus look around, take a deep breath as if steeling himself, and slip onto the path the gamekeeper had trod many times before. Lily nearly gasps, catching herself just in time.
"They're going into the forest!" she hisses. "James. We have to stop them!" She reaches out to slip out of the cloak, but she's jerked backward. James's arm is now tight around her waist, where he's caught her before she can reveal her presence to Avery and Mulciber.
"Lily!" he whispers. "Are you mad? You can't stop them!"
"But it's dangerous in there! There're all kinds of creatures in there."
"Like what? Werewolves?" His eyes glitter with amusement that she doesn't miss.
"Very funny," she fumes, suddenly noticing that she's pressed up against him with his arm warm and comforting around her waist. She strives to keep her head, remembering that in just a few days, they'll be done. This is fake, she has to remind herself.
"There they go," James says, looking over Lily's head. "They've gone, Lily. All three of them in the forest." He yanks his gaze from the forest to peer down at her. "Do you want to go after them?"
"G—go after them?" Lily stammers. "In the forest? In the Forbidden Forest?"
"Yes," James says in a tone so condescending that Lily nearly stamps on his foot. Then she remembers that she's vowed not to fight with him and so, her heel stays resolutely on the ground.
"It's—" She casts about for a word. "—well, it's forbidden for us to go in there."
James smiles widely, his expression looking like he's getting ready to take the mickey out of her. She decides to interrupt him before he can. "Plus, it's dangerous, like I said! Who knows what's in there?"
"It's not that dangerous," James replies, loosening his arm around her waist now that he's certain she won't run after Severus and his dodgy mates. Her pure elation at being so close to him diminishes a bit, but his words distract her.
"What do you mean?" Her eyes narrow suspiciously.
He shrugs, dropping his arm completely from her waist and taking a small step backward. "I mean, it's not that dangerous," he repeats. "The only werewolf in there is Moony."
Lily takes a deep breath, closing her eyes to brace herself. She releases a long stream of air, opens her eyes, and glares at James. "Do you mean to tell me—" she starts, trying to keep her voice low and failing. "—that you have been into the Forbidden Forest?"
"Yeah," he replies casually. "Loads of times."
"And not just for detention?"
"Well, sometimes for detention, but most of the time, just for fun."
"Fun?!"
"Merlin, keep it down!" James hisses at Lily, glancing in the direction where the three Slytherins had entered the forest.
"Sorry," she whispers. "But why go in there at all?"
James raises his eyebrows. "Do you really want to know all that? Sure you can live with that secret?"
She thinks on this, watching him as he watches her, amusement lining every plane of his face. "No, you're right," she murmurs. "I don't want to know because then I'll have to tell Dumbledore about all the illegal things you're doing."
"Oh-ho!" James says, not bothering to keep quiet. "So you'll tell Dumbledore on me and my mates, eh?"
Lily blushes, and there's just enough light between them that James sees her, his eyes curious on hers. She says nothing, and with a wordless gesture, they begin to make their way back to the castle.
It's after one in the morning by the time they finally reach Gryffindor Tower. Before the Fat Lady's portrait swings open, James reaches around Lily and swings the cloak off, bundling it into an impossibly small ball and slipping it into his pocket. Lily climbs into the portrait hole, crossing the empty common room and flopping into a chair in front of the hearth, where a fire flickers lightly in the grate. Within moments, James joins her, and she's reminded of the moments after she had punched Severus and their friends had left them alone together. The memory makes her stomach wrench, remembering what he'd said to her in front of the fire. You don't have to do that. Not with me. She feels an immense sadness knowing that soon, these moments with James will be over, to be replaced by her journals. Once, that would have given her comfort. Now, the thought of turning to ink and paper instead of James makes her feel cold and hollow.
"Unicorns," James says. She raises her eyes curiously to meet his. He clears his throat, and she can somehow sense that he's a little nervous, his finger tapping frenetically on his knee. "In fourth year. Remember Professor Hooks told us there was a herd of unicorns in the forest?"
"Yes," Lily murmurs. "I do remember that."
"You really wanted to see a whole herd of them, if I recall correctly."
To her surprise, his recollection is correct. She was overjoyed to see one unicorn at their Care of Magical Creatures lesson, but the idea of seeing a whole herd had ingrained itself in her head for several weeks. She had begged Professor Hooks to get more unicorns, but their teacher had instead jokingly suggested that Lily try to get detention with the gamekeeper, Hagrid, who would take her into the forest where a herd lived. She had dropped that class for her O.W.L.s.
"I did," she murmurs. "Did you find some?"
He nods. "We did."
She sighs. "Are they beautiful? All in a group like that?"
He nods again. "They are."
There's a silence between them before Lily speaks again. "When else have you been in there?"
He glances around to make sure no one can overhear and then he says, "For the full moon, sometimes we'll go in there. Run around a bit."
Her jaw clenches. "That's definitely not safe, James."
He shrugs. "It's been alright so far."
Another long silence stretches out in the room, broken only by the loud pops from the fire. "We heard there was a family of giants in there," James finally says, breaking the quiet.
"A family of…giants?" Lily's eyes widen. "Don't tell me—"
James laughs, and oh, she's going to miss that laugh. "No, we didn't find any." A pause. "But that doesn't mean they're not in there."
Now Lily laughs because the idea of the Marauders encountering a family of giants in the Forbidden Forest and not being immediately crushed to four pulpy masses amuses her to no end. "Who told you that?" she gasps. "That there were giants in there?"
James frowns. "It was—"
Lily watches him, biting back another giggle. His eyes are scanning the carpet, deep in thought. Finally, his eyes find hers and he sighs. "Snape. It was Snape."
And now, she tosses her head back with mirth, shaking with laughter, and before long, James joins here, apparently amused over the fact that Severus Snape pulled one over on he and his mates.
"You believed him!" Lily cries, tears running down her face. "About—giants—in—the—forest." She's gasping for air now. James is doubled over across from her, clutching a stitch in his side, similarly gasping for breath.
For a moment, they just laugh, and Lily can't help but feel like she could do this forever. Laughing with James feels good, even better than making him laugh. But then the unwelcome thought pops into her mind, unbidden, and she knows that soon, so soon, James will be laughing with Hestia again. The thought sobers her as she takes one last shaky breath, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands.
"I suppose—" James gasps, massaging his ribs where no doubt he still had a stitch. "—he had to get us one of these days."
"You know, it makes me wonder if he does know something about giants in the forest," Lily says, slouching down in her armchair and propping her feet up on the small table in between her and James. "Maybe it was a prank. Like the one Sirius pulled on him."
James's expression darkens slightly. "Yeah, except in the forest, you can run," he points out. "How would Sni—sorry, Snape!—have escaped Moony in the Shrieking Shack?"
"Good point," Lily says. "But it was a good prank."
"It was a fine prank. Not the best one I've ever seen."
"What's the best one you've ever seen?"
"You mean aside from the worm scarf?" His eyes glint with mischief at this.
Lily glares at him. "Do I look amused?"
He appraises her from behind his glasses. "No," he says finally. "You definitely do not look amused."
She rolls her eyes. "Answer the question, Potter?"
"The boggart in the dormitory might be my piece de resistance," James says with a chuckle. "You all ran out in your pajamas. Brilliant, if I do say so myself."
"James Potter," Lily scolds. "Shame on you!" But she's laughing. "Were you responsible for the nifflers in third year?"
James bursts into laughter. "I forgot about those little buggers!" he says, guffawing. "I'm surprised you remember."
"Well, they destroyed our dormitory!" Lily replies crossly. "What about when all the Slytherin Quidditch team's robes turned that horrible pink?"
He laughs again. "Yeah, that was us," he says. "Peter's idea! Not mine!"
"No, you just did the dirty work, didn't you?" Lily says disapprovingly.
"Well, I'm not the best at Transfiguration for nothing, Evans!" He shrugs, holding his hands out innocently.
"Okay, what about when Severus could only croak like a frog for a full week in fourth year?"
James looks down now, his lips pursed tightly, fighting back a magnificent grin. Lily shakes her head with a smile. "I knew it!" she says. "You told me it wasn't you!"
"I didn't want you to yell at me!" he exclaims. "You were always yelling at me, and it was scary when you yelled."
"You never could leave him alone, could you?"
For a moment, James's eyes darken, and Lily wonders if she's spoken out of turn. He clears his throat. "Lily, you have to understand—" he starts, halting mid-sentence as if his voice is caught in his throat. "—I was a different person then. I can't explain it or apologize any more than I have already. I was a right idiot about things."
"James, stop." Lily holds up a hand. "You don't have to do this again. I promise."
He cocks his head. "Do what?"
"Say sorry to me about the past. I'm sorry I keep bringing it up, and—"
"You should bring it up!" he says, leaning forward with remorse all over his face. "I made your life hell, Evans. I would apologize forever if it fixed how…ignorant I was."
"You don't have to apologize forever," she says. "Because I already forgave you."
A wild, taut moment stretches between them as they watch each other. Lily can hear her heartbeat in her ears, and she wonders if James can hear it, too. It's deafening to her.
"Okay," he breathes. "Okay. I won't say sorry for it again." He leans back in his chair, an inscrutable expression on his face. "Do you want to go up?" He gestures toward the stairs leading to the dormitories.
"In a minute. I just want to talk to you about one more thing," Lily says, straightening in her chair now, leaning forward to prop her elbows atop her knees. "I think we should…" She trails off, peering at her hands, then pushes off her elbows, meeting James's brown eyes with her green ones. "I think we should go to Dumbledore. About Severus." A pause. "And Mulciber and Avery," she adds in afterthought.
If there were a word to describe James's face after she says this, she would have written it down later. All I can say is that it feels good to make you happy, she ends up writing later. His eyes widen with surprise, but only briefly, the surprise replaced with a joy that he doesn't bother to hide. The shocked O of his mouth turns into a huge grin, showcasing his signature dimples. "Seriously?" he asks. "Are you having me on?"
"I would never have you on about this," Lily confirms, returning his wide smile. "I promise."
"What changed your mind?" James asks now, leaning so far forward that he could have taken her hand between his if he wanted to. He didn't.
She thinks before speaking. "I think you're right," she finally admits. "He's doing something…dangerous. You saw him tonight. He was scared of getting caught. They all were."
"And their conversation," James adds, now fully committing to agreeing with Lily. "Who could they be meeting after curfew in the Forbidden Forest?"
"Exactly," Lily affirms. "It's all so strange. Them meeting with Malfoy in Hogsmeade, and now this. They kept referring to a 'he.'"
James nods darkly. "I noticed that, too." He pauses, his eyes still bright with excitement. Lily wonders if this is just his relief at her change of mind about going to Dumbledore, or something more. Almost immediately, she pushes the thought out of her mind. He's still in love with Hestia, she reminds herself. "Who d'you think—"
"I don't know," Lily interrupts, knowing what James was going to ask. "I don't know who they were meeting tonight. And in the Forbidden Forest, too."
"It's all bad news," James says, shaking his head.
She watches him, his face alight with the fire and his own palpable thrill at the prospect of finally reporting the wrongdoing he thought was happening weeks ago. "I'm going to say something," she says quietly. "But it's…mad."
"Madder than Snape and his cronies going to meet some mystery person in the forest at midnight on a Friday?"
"Maybe."
"Alright. Say it."
She takes a deep breath. "I think they were meeting…Voldemort." Her words hover uncomfortably between them as James's mouth drops open in surprise.
"But that would mean that they're—"
Lily nods. "Yes. That would mean they're—"
"Death Eaters," they both state at the same time, Lily's pulse racing as she says this. James watches her closely, his eyebrows knitted together in deep contemplation.
"I…" Lily swallows. "I think you're right, James. I think you might be right."
Two bright spots of color appear on James's cheeks, his eyes dropping for a long moment to the fire. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that," he says finally, raising his eyelashes to pierce her with his gaze. "Lily, I'm so glad you agree. I think all the evidence is there!"
She nods again. "Yes. It would seem that all the evidence is indeed there."
They're silent for a moment, both looking across from them at the other, realizing the implications of what they've decided to do. The stillness is pressing into her ears, the only sound in the room the crackling of the logs in the fireplace. Lily's heart feels strangely calm as she looks at James who returns her watchful eye. A sense of peace washes over her, and she embraces it, pulling it over herself like a soft blanket. Then—
"We should go tomorrow," James says, breaking the calm. "To talk to Dumbledore. Do you agree?"
"Yes," she replies, pushing a stray curl behind her ear. "Yes, let's go tomorrow." She heaves a sigh, glancing at the clock over James's shoulder. It's nearly two in the morning. "I'm so tired. I think I'm going to—"
He stands up, following her until she reaches the girls' staircase. She turns to face him, and is surprised to find him standing disarmingly close to her, his hands tucked into his pockets almost shyly. She steps back, tilting her head back to look at him.
"One more thing," she says, letting her lips tilt into a small smile. "Your cloak."
He groans, the blush returning to his face. "Are you going to tell Dumbledore about that tomorrow?"
She laughs. "Absolutely not," she replies. "It saved us tonight." He's silent, so she speaks again. "That's how you do it all, isn't it? All the pranks and sneaking around? You have an Invisibility Cloak."
With reluctance, he nods. "Yes," he murmurs, not looking away.
"Where did you get it?"
"It was my dad's."
Lily gapes. "You're joking!"
He shakes his head no. "I'm not! It really was my dad's. And his dad's before him. He gave it to me when I came to school."
"To get into mischief?"
He shrugs. "'To use as I see fit,'" James says, quoting his father. "At least that's what he said when he gave it to me the day before the train."
Lily smiles at him. "It's dead useful anyway. Will you let me borrow it sometime?"
"What could you possibly need it for, Evans?" he replies with a wink.
"Fair point," she agrees with a laugh. "The only times I'd need it, I'd already be doing something troublesome and forbidden with you."
He laughs. "Good night, Evans."
"Good night, Potter."
As it turns out, Professor Dumbledore is away "on Hogwarts business," Professor McGonagall explains to James and Lily.
James's jaw tightens at this. "When will he return?" he asks tersely.
"It's uncertain," McGonagall replies, watching the Head Boy and Girl over her spectacles. "But in his absence, I take on the roles and responsibilities of the headmaster. Whatever you were going to tell him, you can tell me."
They hadn't planned on bringing up what they'd seen with anyone except the Headmaster, and as a result, had neglected to anticipate what might happen if Dumbledore weren't available. They'd begged off, insisting that it wasn't urgent, and then reconvened in the common room, sitting a bit away from their friends and bowing their heads together.
"The Stonehenge trip is in two days," James whispers urgently. "And then I'm going home for the holidays."
"What business could he be doing for Hogwarts so soon before Christmas?" Lily muses, tracing small patterns over her denim-clad knee.
James shrugs. "Dunno, but I'd reckon it's serious if he's going to be away indefinitely."
"Right?" Lily tries to keep the panic out of her voice, but she's failing with every word she utters.
"Okay, if he returns during break, d'you wanna—"
"Tell him just by myself?" Lily interrupts in a low voice. "I suppose I could."
"I don't think it's a good idea to wait until the new year," James replies. "But I don't know what else to do."
They sit huddled quietly for a moment, ignoring the sly glances their friends are shooting at them from across the room. Finally, James sighs heavily, running a hand through his messy hair.
"What do you think about telling McGonagall?" he asks. "She is Deputy Headmistress and the head of our house."
Lily meditates on this for a moment, Professor McGonagall's stern face materializing unbidden in her mind. They could tell her, and she would likely take them seriously. But would she punish them for following the Slytherins out? And how would they explain James's Invisibility Cloak to her? Would she confiscate it?
"She may punish us," Lily finally says. "For following them."
"True," James says. "But so could Professor Dumbledore."
Lily casts back to her few interactions with the sprightly, elderly, and frankly, quite odd, headmaster. When he'd chastised her for judging James too harshly, she'd listened. And for some reason, she trusted him with not just their suspicions and their actions, but also with the knowledge of James's cloak. She'd felt, under Dumbledore's electric blue gaze, warmth emanate from him. They could trust him.
"He won't," Lily affirms. "I trust him."
James stares at her in disbelief.
"You trust him?" he scoffs. "This is the headmaster you're talking about. You know that, right? He's like, the chief disciplinarian."
Lily giggles. "If he's such a disciplinarian, I would love to hear why he made you Head Boy, Potter."
James smiled widely. "Touché, Evans."
Lily takes a deep breath, glancing at Marlene, who is squeezes between Remus and Sirius, laughing at a story Mary is telling with great relish. For a moment, Lily thinks about how beautiful Marlene looks, flushed and happy, and she wonders if that's Sirius's effect or if Lily's never really seen Marlene before.
"If he returns during break, I'll tell him. But I suspect that he'll want to talk to you, too. Since it was your idea to go to him first."
James flushes a deep, mulberry red, and Lily fights the urge to laugh at how purple he is. "Well, but I—I—I didn't—" he stammers. "I didn't go!" he finally says in an exaggerated whisper.
"Why not?" Lily tilts her head, watching him with a small smile on her face.
"I couldn't go if you didn't want to," he says softly. Lily feels the heat rise in her cheeks, and for one singularly still second, she's sitting there next to James with the warmth emanating from his body and his eyes locked into hers and she lets herself believe that they're really together. She can imagine what they look like to the others, but then all thoughts of the others disappear. Everything goes fuzzy except his wild hair and the stubble on his chin and his goddamn dimples. She lets herself watch him for a moment, relishing this, knowing it'll be gone, and strangely, she imagines that he might be doing the same thing with her. Remembering this moment, after they'd made the momentous decision to do something that would ultimately change both their lives forever, and remembering the synchronized hammering of their hearts and the mutual itch in their fingers to take the other's hand in their own.
"OI!" comes a shout from Sirius, who tosses a pillow at James, hitting him right in the face and sending his glasses askew. "Are you two just going to sit there staring at each other or are you finally going to come hang out like two normal bloody people?"
"Argh!" James growls, throwing the pillow back hard to hit Sirius directly in his handsome, smiling face.
Lily looks down at her hands in her lap. The spell is broken. The moment is over. She feels James stand, and when she looks up, his hand is outstretched in front of her.
"Shall we?" he says with a smile. This will have to do, Lily thinks.
"We shall," she says, and they join their friends.
The day before the Stonehenge trip is a Monday, and even Lily thinks it distinctly unfair that they still have to go to classes.
"I still have to pack!" Mary moans as they enter the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, where Professor Rial waits patiently at the blackboard.
"Me, too," Marlene says. She looks at Lily. "You're taking that bathing suit I bought for you, right?"
Lily's stomach does a flip imagining wearing the skimpy bikini in front of their classmates, but especially in front of James. She feels heat pool low in her belly at the thought, which she forces from her mind.
"Yeah, I've already packed," Lily says airily.
Lily doesn't miss when Mary and Marlene roll their eyes, and as she takes a seat in between them, she glances around. There are Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but no James.
"Where's Potter?" Mary asks Lily, who shrugs.
"Dunno." Lily scans the room again. James's untidy head is nowhere to be found. Above their heads, the school bell rings as the last students scamper through the door, some jogging to their seats.
Marlene groans. "We're doing Patronuses again," she whines, angling her head toward the blackboard, where the lesson is written out. "I couldn't even get a wisp last time, and I thought for so long about my happiest memory."
"What memory was that?" Lily asks curiously, and is surprised to find Marlene blushing bashfully.
"It's…private," she says, lowering her gaze.
"Blech!" Mary makes a retching noise. "That's how we know to stop asking questions, Lily."
But Lily's distracted because sailing through the classroom door, several full minutes after the bell has rung is Hestia, who is never late to classes, and not even a full moment later, James darts through the same door, seating himself right next to Peter. He looks strange, his eyes bright and the color high in his cheeks. Lily doesn't dare look at Hestia, instead fixing her eyes directly onto Professor Rial.
"Miss Jones," Professor Rial says disapprovingly. "Ten points from Gryffindor for being late." She turns her lamplike hazel eyes to James now, her lips pursed into a line. "And Mr. Potter, late again."
"Sorry, Professor," James says with a roguish grin. "Head Boy stuff held me up."
"I'm sure," Professor Rial says dryly. "Twenty points from Gryffindor."
"But—Professor!" James objects. "I didn't—"
"You didn't come to my class late?" Rial raises her eyebrows now. "Or you didn't lie about why you were late?"
James reddens, ducking his head, and for a moment, Lily feels sympathy for him. He's been doing so well, she thinks. Pity to waste all that record good behavior for a snog with Hestia. A swell of hot jealousy courses through Lily's organs, and try as she might to tamp it down, she can't. She stares at her Defense book until the words blur. She can't seem to understand what Professor Rial is saying, hearing only a persistent buzzing in her ears. From the corner of her eye, she sees James approach their teacher, and she wonders if he's apologizing for being late or for lying. Or both.
It's not until Professor Rial approaches her desk that she looks up with a start, jumping as her book slips through her fingers and hitting the ground with a thud.
"Sorry, Miss Evans," Rial says, taking a step back. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Lily shakes her head. "It's alright, Professor," she says, giving the teacher a tight smile. "I was just surprised, that's all."
"You needed to find a partner," Rial says, gesturing around the classroom. Lily glances around to find each student paired up, Mary and Marlene standing sullenly in a corner, waving their wands at each other. "But since it's just you and Potter, you can work together."
From behind her, James waves awkwardly.
"No, wait, Professor!" Lily says, standing up so fast that the chair falls over with a loud clang. Around her, she can feel her peers staring at her, their mouths agape. "Can't I be with Mary and Marlene?"
"Potter needs a partner, too," she says. "Now, go practice your Patronuses."
Rial strides across the classroom to observe two Hufflepuffs who are standing with their eyes closed, most likely mustering a good memory, but mostly appearing to be asleep standing up.
"Well, Evans?" James says with a grin. "You ready to make happy memories with me?"
Lily remembers her promise to not fight with him. It's not worth it. He's not even her boyfriend! It's all fake! She nods tersely, gripping her wand and following him to a spot on the raised platform that is usually reserved for dueling. James hops up, extending his hand, but she ignores it, scrabbling up clumsily. She rises, smoothing her skirt slowly, and looks up at James. His eyes are curious and maybe there's a little hurt in them at her ignoring his helping hand. She ignores this took, looking down at her shoes.
"D'you wanna go first?" James says, gesturing toward her.
"No," she says, trying not to sound cross, but failing spectacularly. "You go. I don't want to go yet." She seriously doubted whether she could even think about a memory happy enough to bring about a single wisp of a Patronus with the copious amounts of anger and jealousy raging through her. She grips her wand tightly, fighting the impulse to jinx James and Hestia into oblivion.
"Are you okay?" James asks, tilting his head to examine her. "You look weird."
"I look…weird?" Lily says slowly. "I look weird?!" If the classroom hadn't been filled with students shouting the incantation for the Patronus Charm, Lily's shriek would have been heard in every corner of the room.
"What the—" James gapes at Lily. "Evans, what the hell is going on?"
"You!" Lily gestures at him furiously. "You and her!" She hissing now, mad as a spitting snake, but she seemingly can't stop. The anger that's been building inside of her is suddenly, threateningly starting to seep from every crevice of her body.
James blushes now, briefly, but takes a step forward in Lily's direction. His eyes are earnest, pleading. "That wasn't—I wasn't—it wasn't—"
"It wasn't what?" Lily snaps, and something inside of her recognizes that they're crossing a line that wasn't ever meant to be crossed. The ancient wall around Lily's heart, decaying in recent weeks, starts to crumble.
"It wasn't what it looked like," James replies in a low voice, stepping even closer to her so they're nearly nose to nose. "I promise, Evans. It wasn't even close to what you think."
"What was it then?" Lily crosses her arms over her heaving chest, a swoosh of heat curling through her stomach at his nearness.
He looks at her intently now. "She asked me to talk," he says slowly, deliberately. "She wanted to tell me that…" He trails off, his palms facing upward in a gesture of surrender. "…she and that Ministry bloke broke up."
Oh. Lily's heart plummets so rapidly that it makes her dizzy for a moment. "So I suppose you want to break it off before the trip?" Lily hears herself say. "Y'know, so you can go with her, I suppose."
He stares at her in disbelief. "Evans, no. Don't you see how that's not what I want at all?"
As quickly as her heart had dropped, it rises just as quickly. Is he saying…? Her mind is racing as fast as her pulse, and she stares at him, everything around him blurring out of focus again. It's odd how that keeps happening when she looks at him, isn't it? She's floating above herself now, watching her blink at James, registering his words.
"Potter, I—"
"Have either of you managed a single Patronus Charm, Miss Evans?" Professor Rial's voice is a leaden weight, dragging Lily back to the ground. She jumps, leaping away from James, who takes a staggering step backwards, nearly falling on the way.
"Er, sorry, Professor," James manages, his cheeks reddening once more. "We'll try again."
Professor Rial stares at the both of them, her eyes narrowed, and then shakes her head. "No, I'm splitting you two up. Evans, go join McKinnon and McDonald. Potter, I think Black and Pettigrew could use your talents."
As if they were running from a fire-breathing dragon, both Lily and James depart for opposite sides of the room in high dudgeon, Lily wanting to escape the intensity of Professor Rial's critical gaze, her heart still pounding from James's words. Don't you see how that's not what I want at all? The words echo in her mind as she rushes toward Marlene and Mary, both their backs turned to her as small wisps of pearly white emit from their wands.
"Hey," Lily says tersely, and her friends whirl around to face her.
"What happened?" Marlene's brow creases, her eyes scanning Lily's face. "You look weird. Did you fight with James the day before the school trip? Oh, Lily."
"What?" Lily says distractedly. "No, no. Rial just told me to come over here is all."
"Too much distraction over there, eh?" Mary teases, digging her elbow into Lily's ribs. "All the better for us, we truly cannot seem to figure this out." Mary gestures helplessly at her and Marlene's wands.
"I don't get it!" Marlene bursts out. "I'm good at Charms and Defense."
As if on cue, Professor Rial claps her hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, the key to the Patronus Charm is to think of a truly joyful memory! Recalling a particularly funny joke won't do it—the patronus only thrives from true joy."
Muttering, Mary turns. "Lily, why don't you give it a shot?" she suggests. "Maybe you'll have a bit more success."
"I don't see why I should," Lily says, hoping her voice doesn't betray the actual pure joy that is coursing through every vein in her body. "But I'll give it a go."
She grips her wand in her right hand, closing her eyes for a moment. She casts her mind back, remembering the pure exhilaration she felt when the Hogwarts owl finally arrived at her parents' house in Cokeworth. For years, Severus had regaled her with stories of Hogwarts, the houses, how his mum had been in Slytherin and how he wanted to be in Slytherin, too. He'd told her about the grounds and the lake and the Ministry of Magic, about Azkaban and dementors, about Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts, and finally, finally, her letter had arrived. She recalls the swell of elation, her ecstatic parents' glowing faces, her mother's pink cheeks and her father's wide smile.
With a swish, she cries, "Expecto Patronum!" A tingle runs from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers, and to Lily's very great surprise, a bolt of pearly light emits from the tip of her wand, floats in front of her for a very short second, and then vanishes.
"Very good, Miss Evans!" Professor Rial exclaims, her robes swishing as she crosses the room. "Very impressive! That's better than anyone else has managed. Well done! Shall we give you ten points to Gryffindor for your effort?"
Lily flushes, feeling eyes on her. She mutters her thanks back to Professor Rial, and turns back to Marlene and Mary.
"Good job!" Marlene says, pride glistening in her eyes. "What did you think of?"
"The day I got my Hogwarts letter," Lily answers truthfully, shrugging. "It was just a very, very good day."
"Oooh, that's what I'm going to think of!" Mary cries, raising her wand.
After several more tries, with Lily mustering up happy memories of cooking with her mother and putting on plays with her sister, and Mary and Marlene struggling valiantly, the girls can't manage more than more wisps from their wands.
"I—hate—this!" Marlene cries out, throwing her wand to the ground. Bright red sparks erupt from it, and Lily has to stamp out a small fire that starts at the hem of Mary's robes.
"Five more minutes..." Mary says finally, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. "Lily, give it one last go, and we can probably pack up without Rial making too much of a fuss."
"Wait, look…" Marlene puts her hand on Lily's arm, pointing across the room. Lily follows her finger to see a stag cantering, but it wasn't just any stag. It was pure, bright white light, and when it looked at her, Lily was startled to find that the eyes were James's eyes, soft and brown and fringed with long black lashes. Her eyes dart to James, who's flushing with pride, his mates laughing and clapping next to him. Professor Rial beams from nearby, no doubt having already granted James approximately a million points for not only getting the spell, but managing to hold it for this long.
"A corporeal Patronus, ladies and gentlemen!" Rial calls out. "There are still four minutes left of this class—let's see which of you can manage something close to this. Well done, Potter!"
Lily catches James's eye, and he winks at her, his face filled with warmth. You can do it, he mouths. She feels a lurch from somewhere behind her bellybutton, a sensation eerily close to traveling by Portkey, but her feet stay in place beneath her. With a small smile, she closes her eyes, and for the first time in the hour, allows herself to think of James. His smile and his dimples and his messy, messy hair and the way his Adam's apple bobs when he laughs or when he's about to say something serious. She thinks about the torchlight flickering across his face when they do rounds, and how his hands feel in hers. She thinks about kissing him on the Quidditch pitch, his arm around her waist and his hand tangled in her hair. She thinks about how serious his face got, his eyes darker than usual when he said, don't you see how that's not what I want at all? How happy does he make her? Her stomach surges with wanting, her heart pulsing deeply against her ribs, and an overwhelming contentment washes over her.
Her palm is sweating now as she opens her eyes to see her friends watching her curiously. She clears her throat, focusing on the sensations of the warmth of James's hands and the swooping she gets in her belly when he gets too near, and with a clear voice, she says, "Expecto Patronum."
The shiver from earlier is more like a deep shudder now, racing down her arm like a lightning strike. She feels her fingers tremble on her wand, and then, without warning, something huge, bright, white, and incredibly solid comes bounding out of her wand. A great leap of delight wraps around Lily as she watches the bright light take shape. Something in the back of her mind reminds her to stay focused on James, and so she does. His dimples. His smile. The way he grins when he's talking about pranks. The way he takes her hand to help her. The way he smells, like mint and chocolate and oranges.
The huge thing morphs into something, an animal that Lily can't quite make out, her own eyes disbelieving what she was seeing in front of her. It can't be. Can it?
"It's a doe," Marlene whispers. "Lily's Patronus is a doe."
Whispers like small, sizzling fires erupt across the classroom as Lily turns, guiding her doe to the center of the classroom, where she meets James's stag. The sight of the two Patronuses together sends a wild jolt of pleasure through Lily, and if she had any talent for Divination, she could have sworn she saw the future in that moment. Her and James, forever and ever.
Her green eyes meet James's brown ones, and there's a deep softness in them, as if he's realized exactly what's going to happen in front of the entire class. The doe and stag circle each other for a minute before stepping in close to one another, the doe's delicate hooves making no sound as she assesses the stag. The two animals watch one another. An almost ethereal stillness comes over the class, and even Professor Rial has stopped teaching to watch the two brightly shining creatures, her mouth slightly open in surprise.
The stag is watching the doe with interest, and when she ducks her head to give him a soft bump under his chin with the top of her head, he closes his eyes in contentment. Lily's heart lurches at the sight.
"Well done, Lily!" Professor Rial finally calls out, making Lily jump and drop her wand. It makes a loud clatter as sparks fly from it. The doe disappears as Lily, suddenly mortified at the dozens of pairs of eyes on her, bends down to scoop up her wand, her face flaming with embarrassment.
"Thanks, Professor," she mutters.
"Fifty points to Gryffindor!" Rial says, beaming. "Good job! Exceptionally well done!" Lily feels as if Rial is exaggerating, but she accepts the praise right as the bell rings, breaking the reverie the appearance of two Patronuses had put the whole class under.
Avoiding James's eyes, Lily packs up her bag in a rush, and races out of the classroom ahead of Mary and Marlene.
Back in their dormitory, she lies down in her four-poster bed wearing all her school clothes, her heart still racing. In a few moments, both Mary and Marlene burst in to the dormitory, their cheeks red.
"Jeez, Lil, you could have waited for us!" Mary exclaims, clutching a stitch in her side.
"What was that?" Marlene demands, standing next to Lily's bed with her hands on her hips. "What just happened in there?"
Lily sits up, pushing back her curls from her face. "I don't know," she replies truthfully.
"Did you know your Patronus was a doe?" Marlene asks, perching at the edge of Lily's bed. "Did you and Potter practice together or something?"
Lily shakes her head. "No," she says. "No, that's the first time I've managed a Patronus. I didn't know what shape it would take."
Mary gapes. "What are the bloody chances that your Patronus is a doe and Potter's is a stag?"she says in a loud stage whisper.
"It has to mean something," Marlene says. "Like maybe he's your soulmate."
Lily's heart ticks up again, but she keeps her expression neutral. "There's no such thing as soulmates," she says matter-of-factly, hopping off the bed and beginning to remove her school clothes.
Marlene stares. "What are you talking about? Of there's such a thing as soulmates."
"You saw those Patronuses, Lils!" Mary pipes up. "Face it, he's your bloody soulmate whether you like it or not."
"It's just a coincidence," Lily says, pulling on her jeans and a jumper and beginning to open her trunk. "It doesn't mean anything."
"Did you make them do that?" Mary asks. "The doe and the stag—did you make them interact like that?"
Lily pauses, then shakes her head. "No, it was more like…they were drawn to each other," she says. "But that doesn't mean anything!"
"Are you mad?" Marlene cries. "Of course it means something. It means you're s—"
"Stop!" Lily finds herself shouting. "Stop, it doesn't mean that, okay? It really is just a coincidence!"
"Even Rial looked surprised when she saw them," Mary points out.
"Yeah, and she's never shaken by anything," Marlene agrees. "Face it, Lily, you're his—"
"Enough!" Lily says, holding up a hand to silence them. "I have to finish packing for the trip tomorrow, and you both better pack up, too." She glances over to see Alice's and Hestia's beds empty. "I should find those two and tell them to pack as well…"
"But, Lily!" Marlene insists. "We have to talk about this! This is a momentous thing that's just happened and—"
"No," Lily says flatly, hoping she conveys finality. "No, we don't have to talk about this at all."
"You said you'd already packed," Mary mutters, but with a glare from Lily, she falls silence.
Within another few moments, they're all packing their trunks in silence.
The news that Lily and James both produced corporeal Patronuses, however, had not stayed in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. The news has spread across the school like news at Hogwarts does, and when Lily's trunk is packed, she, Mary, and Marlene make their way down to dinner. Chatting amiably, their earlier disagreement forgotten, they cross the entrance hall.
When Lily enters the Great Hall, every head seems to turn in her direction, and she catches someone whisper soulmate as she takes another tentative step into the room. The sky above is cloudy, and huge fat flakes are falling from it. Tomorrow, the grounds will be covered in a thick layer of fluffy snow.
"What's happened now?" she says dully, making her way toward the spot at the table with the candle burn.
"It's you," Marlene says, sitting across from Lily. "You and Potter."
"How the hell does news spread so fast around here?" Lily mutters, scooping potatoes onto her plate. "And who bloody cares about something that happens in class?"
Marlene and Mary stare at her. "Are you joking?" Marlene says. "Have you gone to this school for the last seven years or was that a different Lily Evans?"
Mary nods in agreement. "Everyone at this school is obsessed with anything to do with James Potter. You know this."
Lily does know this. She averts her eyes, focusing on her plate. Wasn't this why she agreed to fake-date James? Because he was the most popular boy in school? To send a message to Severus that it was over between them? For a moment, she wants to turn to find Severus, to see how he's processing the news that Lily Evans and James Potter are soulmates, that they procured two complementary Patronuses and what this means for them. But she doesn't, her mind adrift in her thoughts as she hm's and yeah's through dinner.
Her eyes do eventually seek out James, who is sitting down the table with his mates, he and Sirius in their Quidditch kits, looking windblown and pink-cheeked with cold. He catches her eye, grins embarrassedly, and returns to his meal. She yearns to pick up their earlier conversation, to pick apart everything he said to her in class, but she can't seem to make her leaden feet move. She stays seated, listening to Mary and Marlene discuss the details of the school trip tomorrow, until what feels like an eternity later, she sees James rise from the corner of her eye.
She doesn't see him leave the Great Hall as much as sense it. "I'll be right back," she says to her friends, standing and crossing the room, ignoring every stare and whisper as she goes to search for James.
He's not in the Entrance Hall.
Where could he have gone?
She begins to climb the staircase up to Gryffindor Tower, wondering if he went there to have a shower and to change after Quidditch practice, but then she spies him, standing on top of the landing of the grand staircase.
He's in a corner where he likely thinks that he can't be seen. And standing across from him, with a smile on her lips, is Hestia.
Her pulse pounding, Lily shrinks into the shadows where she's certain no one can see her. They're talking, she thinks to her self. There's nothing wrong with talking.
And they are. James is saying something to Hestia, and she's smiling. Her long dark hair catches the light as she shakes her head. She says something back to him, and he nods. Talking is okay, Lily affirms to herself.
But Hestia is single now, a nasty little voice says at the back of Lily's brain. She told James today.
Lily thinks about fleeing now, returning to the Great Hall for dessert, and waking up tomorrow for the school trip, fresh from any of this, but yet again, she can't seem to make her heavy feet move.
James then reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small folded up piece of parchment. He holds it out to Hestia, who takes it from his hand, their fingers touching briefly. She pockets it with a sly smile.
A note, the nasty voice says again. He's writing her notes again.
Shut up, Lily thinks back, and turning on her heel, returns to her dinner.