Lad Boxman and Laserblast: chapter five or six? I don't know.
Author's Note: idk hey watch that subway guy on youtube? he's cool.
Lad Boxman did a lot of thinking and felt it would be best to set Laserblast free. He used an Uber to have the driver drive them over to a herd of other dumpster fires and followed along their stampede. Among the dumpster fires were Steve from Blue's Clues, Calliou, Dora the Explorer, Aaron Carter, Johnny Bravo. The author of the story was also part of the herd but their knees are bad and weak and so they fell and got ran over by the herd and died.
The Uber driver was confused and asked. "Uh… so you just want me to keep driving alongside this horrifying stampede of weirdos?"
Lad Boxman was in tears but hid it behind rage. "YES, FUCKING DO THAT, ASSHOLE! Also...I will tip you five bucks."
The Uber driver refrained from speaking and did as he was told because hot damn five bucks.
Lad Boxman looked over at Laser whom was curled up in the right side seat of the car to which he began to cry watching as he snoozed. He opened the door, turned the other way and then used his right leg to kick the sleeping man out the car. Laser shrieked as he was pushed out into a violent stampeding herd and then began to run with them.
"Bye, be free." Sobbed Lad Boxman as he watched Laserblast stampede with the herd. "Be free, my beautiful stupid drunk bitch." He cried in the car as the car door flapped around. He watched as Laser and the herd stampeded off into the sunset realizing that he may be a beautiful fucked up creature but it wasn't meant to be.
The Uber driver spoke. "Uh, you know, you're going to have to pay for the damages to my car, right?"
"I FUCKING KNOW!"
Years later, Lad Boxman became Lord Boxman and was at his lab working on some projects. He heard the doorbell ring. He opened it to find a purple freak that he strangely found highly attractive. "Hey uh is this where Lad Boxman lives?" Asked the purple freak.
Lord Boxman was shocked. "STUPID DRUNK BITCH, IS THAT YOU?"
"Huh, oh, yeah."
"WHAT HAPPENED? Not that I personally mind… god damn hot."
"Oh, I experimented on myself and now I'm fucking purple and pissed off about it. I mean, imagine walking the fuck around purple like god damn Thanos EXCEPT I DON'T EVEN HAVE MUSCLES LIKE HIM ANYMORE, GOD DAMN IT I AM SO FUCKING PISSED." He attempted to punch a wall nearby only to damage his hand. "Oh yeah and my doctor said I have muscle deterioration, so that sucks. I call myself Professor Venomous now because I hate cold and ice, hiss a lot, have serpent-like qualities and require warmth all the time."
"GET THE FUCK INSIDE HERE NOW!" Shouted Lord Boxman eager to slam his entire body onto him.
"Whoa, okay. Thank you."
Lord Boxman slammed the door shut and then threw his body onto Venomous to which the purple man hissed for a bit but then enjoyed Lord Boxman's warmth and hugged him.
"Aww, fuck." Smiled Venomous. "I've missed you."
"BITCH. GO TO HELL... me too." He hugged Venomous tightly and began to sob on his shoulder to which Venomous patted his back.
[TO BE CONTINUED IN A NEW SERIES/TITLE whenever i get the energy. hot damn being ill sucks.]