Holy mother of writer's block. I'm terribly sorry about the very long pause in publishing this story. But things are finally starting to move again!

Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. At each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction.

— Cloud Atlas

Anakin sat alone in the cruiser's hangar, lost in thoughts, none of them too pleasant.

Blue lights of hyperspace danced beyond the force field at the side of the hangar. The fleet had left Subterrel two days ago. They were still in hyperspace, on their way to meet up with reinforcements to replace the men, ships and supplies they had lost in the battle.

Although it's been two days, Anakin hadn't had a chance to talk with Obi-Wan yet. The medics had politely but strictly banned him from all visits for a few days, so he could recover in peace. A small, cowardly part of Anakin was secretly grateful for that. It delayed the inevitable conversation about Anakin's actions during the mission, if only for a couple days. Although he couldn't escape the fact that the conversation was going to happen eventually, and he'd never been so ashamed and terrified of anything.

Anakin stopped in front of the door to Obi-Wan's room in the medbay. He took a deep breath and hesitated for several seconds before finally knocking.

"Come in."

Anakin nervously walked inside.

Obi-Wan was sitting in his bed, his expression unreadable as always. His left shoulder was still wrapped in bandages, but at least he looked a bit better than when Anakin last saw him.

"I just… came to ask how you're doing," Anakin mumbled awkwardly.

"A lot better. Thank you," Obi-Wan said. His tone sounded unexpectedly normal. Anakin expected him to be a lot angrier about what Anakin had done on the mission. Obi-Wan has had a fairly short temper the past few months. He had yelled at Anakin for much less. But his mild tone only made Anakin feel so much worse. Somehow, hearing quiet disappointment in someone's voice was much, much worse than being yelled at.

"How did the mission go? Did we win?" Obi-Wan asked.

In a different situation, Anakin might have almost chuckled. Of course. He couldn't think of any other person who could come so close to death and still only worry about the kriffing mission.

"We did," Anakin reported unenthusiastically. "Master Mundi's fleet arrived about seventeen hours after you sent out the distress signal. They destroyed most of the Separatist fleet, the rest ran away. The negotiations were successful as well."

"That's good news, I suppose," Obi-Wan replied. He didn't sound particularly excited about it, either. Not that he had any reason to be. Yes, they won the battle and Subterrel ended up joining the Republic, but ultimately, it didn't matter too much. The planet wasn't particularly valuable to either side. This victory wasn't going to bring the Republic any closer to winning the war.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

Go ahead, you coward, Anakin ordered himself . Say it. Stalling wouldn't make this conversation any easier.

"Master, I… have to tell you something," Anakin admitted quietly, staring at the floor. "You were right, about me and Padmé. I do have feelings for her. And it's not just that. We…" He took a deep breath. "We're married."

Obi-Wan only raised his eyebrows slightly, looking more disappointed than surprised.

"You already knew?" Anakin asked, his heart sinking.

"I'll admit that I didn't know about the marriage, no. But the rest… no offense, Anakin, but neither of you were too subtle about it."

Kriff . Until a few days ago, Anakin had thought that he'd been doing a relatively good job at keeping his marriage secret. He always made sure to have a bulletproof excuse whenever he left the Temple to go see Padmé, or when he snuck into an empty cabin in the cruiser to have a secret chat with her via hologram.

His go-to excuse was usually working on his starfighter, pretending that writing his mission reports or lightsaber practice took more time than it actually did, or he would pretend that he had been discussing battle plans with Rex, who was kind enough to occasionally cover for him. But it seemed that he hadn't been anywhere near as sneaky as he had thought.

"Why didn't you tell the Council?"

Obi-Wan gave him a strange look. "I have no desire to intentionally destroy your life, if that's what you're implying."

Anakin winced. "I didn't say that. But, well, you are a Council member, and… I just thought… never mind. I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Anyway," Anakin continued, getting back to the topic. "There's something else you were right about. During the mission, I did allow my worry for Padmé to cloud my judgement. And… it almost cost you your life. I know that saying this is not going to change anything," Anakin said sadly. "I'm not here to ask you for forgiveness, certainly not that. I just… want you to know that I'm so sorry. About everything. My actions on this mission were unforgivable. So were things I said earlier. That thing I said about Satine… it was disgraceful."

If Padmé had died, and Obi-Wan threw her death in Anakin's face in such a harsh way, it would have hurt more than words could describe. Of course, Obi-Wan would never sink low enough to say something like that in the first place.

Awkward silence filled the room once again.

Since he had nothing to lose at this point, Anakin also told him about rest – how he decided to finally do the right thing and part ways with Padme, at least until the end of the war. Obi-Wan seemed surprised, even impressed, but ultimately, it didn't matter much. Anakin had left him to his fate in his attempt to protect his wife. Parting ways with her after the fact wasn't exactly going to undo that.

"I have a lot to apologize for as well," Obi-Wan said finally. "I'm afraid that you were right about some things too. I have been taking my bad mood out on you, for months. I didn't fully realize it at the time, but that is no excuse for my behavior."

He sighed. "I also have to apologize for saying that I shouldn't have trained you, calling you a coward, and all of the other things I said to you that day. None of them are true, and never will be."

Another silence came, and with it, a strange, sad sense of finality.

They had both apologized to each other, and yet… it didn't make the tension in the air any lighter.

Anakin didn't expect a mutual apology to magically make everything alright again, or course not. But perhaps some small part of him had still been secretly hoping that it would at least change something . That perhaps it could have been the first step towards reconciliation, no matter how small.

Unfortunately, no such thing happened.

What little was left of their friendship was just far too fractured to repair by now. Maybe a couple months ago, when things were tense, but not yet quite as bad as they were now… Maybe their friendship could have been still somewhat saved then. But now, it was just too late. It probably had been for some time.

"Anyway… I should probably go," Anakin mumbled awkwardly. "If you need anything, just let me know."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Anakin, wait for a moment. I need to talk to you."

He was silent for a while, as if searching for the right words.

"Do you think that there's still any chance we could forgive each other, and pretend that this mission and the last couple of months never happened?" he asked finally.

Anakin stared at him. What? How could he forgive Anakin? Did he not remember what Anakin did?

Anakin shook his head. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. Not after… that ."

"I'm afraid that I don't deserve yours, either," Obi-Wan replied, to his surprise. "But… you used to be my best friend once. I know that we have drifted apart a lot, mostly due to my own actions. But… I miss that time more than you know. I know that it's probably too late to make things right again, but I would never forgive myself if I didn't at least ask."

You used to be my best friend once. Those words, in the past tense, made Anakin's heart clench.

"I think it would be worth a shot," Anakin replied quietly. Somehow, he even managed a small smile.

He extended his hand. An ancient gesture of an armistice, one of the few gestures that somehow meant the same thing in many of civilizations that inhabited the galaxy. They shook hands, and it felt like the awful tension in the air lightened a little.

More silence followed. That was no surprise, unfortunately. Things weren't magically going to go back to normal. A year or two ago, they would be able to talk for countless hours without a single awkward silence ever occurring, but that was long gone now. They had drifted apart so much since then.

But perhaps it was a start. While they weren't close, at least they weren't enemies, either. For now, that would have to be enough.

By some miracle, Anakin's actions during the mission didn't end in a tragedy. While Anakin was waiting for the reinforcements two days ago, he was almost sure that it would – but somehow, it didn't. He hadn't expected a second chance to make things right. He didn't deserve it, either. But for some reason, the Force had granted him one, and he was going to do everything he could to not let it go to waste.