Chapter 8: Stuck - Part II.

"Do you have a group?" I ask the girl, still lying in the snow. She shakes her head as an answer but I just can't believe someone this young, small and weak and visibly inexperienced is completely on her own.

"You are travelling alone..." I say skeptically, and tighten the string on my bow a bit as my suspicions are rising. My hands are stiff and hurt, they are so frozen already, and pulling the thin material is cutting into my vulnerable flesh. I can see she notices the movement and after a few seconds of hesitation she finally speaks.

"I live in a community about 4 miles from here." She says, looking into my eyes. There's something in her glance that is ringing a bell in the back of my mind which for now I just can't place anywhere. "But I came out alone." She adds desperately, as she sees that I am not loosening the string on my bow at all.

"Why?" I ask, still aiming at her throat.

"I - I went out to... try to get some food." she says and she sniffs before continuing. "But these men... They attacked me. I tried to- to lost them but in this snow it was impossible. I just ran where I could and then... and then you saved me." she finishes. Puffing clouds of her breath leaves her mouth as she's speaking, but the wind quickly carries them away forever.

I am now sure that another blizzard reaches us soon. I lower my bow as I say: "You should head back. Weather is turning worse." and I turn my away from her, planning to get back to the hut myself as well.

"I can't in this weather!" she whines. I can hear her voice is trembling and she might cry soon. "Can I - can I come with you?" she asks and I stop immediately.

"No." I say as I turn back to her again, but then I see her, lying in the snow, her nose and cheeks are both deep red, her blonde hair is wet and she's slightly trembling and I can feel my resistance weakening. She's just a little girl after all - being out on her own in the blizzard despite her age. I wish I knew what this bell constantly ringing inside my head means...

"Please..." she begs. "Only until the storm leaves..."

The brothers - especially Joel's gonna kill me... I can only hope I won't regret my decision soon as I nod and say: "Fine... But I need to see if you have any weapons..." I step to her as she stands up finally and I am reaching my hand to search her but she interrupts me.

"No need." she reaches a hunting knife towards me immediately. I take it, put into the back of my pants and nod her to follow me. Even this reaction of her is so strange... Or I am really just becoming exactly as paranoid as Joel.

"Did you know these men?" I ask. I need to rise my voice as the wind is whistling louder with each passing second. The little flakes of snow feel like needles against my skin and even though I pulled both hoods of my sweaters upon my head, my ears hurt like hell. Especially my right one. I can also feel tears gathering in my eyes and I can just hope we'll be back home in less than an hour.

"No!" I can barely hear the words as the voice of the girl is drifting far away in the wind.

"Then why did they want to kill you so badly?" I ask. It was really strange that two men only just wanted to shoot a girl and nothing more...

"Is this really a question?" she asks. "In a world like this?"

I leave her be for a few minutes as my mind is racing. Though I hate the snow, I am thankful for this blizzard as it is making us hardly trackable. Every footsteps of ours are gone in a few minutes. That is good, if the girl is lieing, her fellows can't follow us soon. But if she isn't, and she really is just an unfortunate soul who needed to be saved than we are only giving her shelter until the storm is gone and then say our goodbyes. And since we are always having a watch, even at nights, it will be no problem to keep an eye out on her all the time.

"What is your name?" I ask after a while, slowing down a little so that she can hear my words. She's not answering right away. Is she hesitating?

"Mikayla." I can hear her voice in the end.

When I finally see the hut in the distance, the snow is falling so heavily in the storming wind that I can hardly see it darkening in the distance, between the bending frames of the forest's trees.

"Come, we're almost there!" I yell the words to the girl who's weak figure is being tossed in the wind. She only nods as she's so cold, her rattling teeth stop her from forming proper words. I can't feel my right ear anymore and that is quite concerning. The skin is thin there and there's not so much flesh and veins to keep that body part warm...

I am nervous as we are closing to the small wooden building. Tommy and Joel will be rightfully pissed and I know I am stupid. Again. But still - I don't want to say goodbye to the last pieces of humanity left inside me. Wouldn't that be simply cruel to just leave a kid on her own to freeze to her death? Or to be murdered? I feel like I am just trying to convince myself I did the right thing here though...

"Charlie... Who's that?" Tommy asks as he's jumping onto his feet when I open the door and step inside with my newfound company. He's gripping his pistole and Joel's also on his feet as well, the revolver's end pointing towards us. I can see the darkness inside the barrel so clearly, it feels like he's aiming at me and not Mikayla. I guess, he'd still left me behind to save themselves if needed... But can I really blame him?

"Easy guys..." I raise both my hands up. "I.. uh... I found her outside. She's got no weapon." I say and pull her knife out of the back of my pants, reaching towards Joel. "She's just a girl. Only staying with us until the blizzard leaves."

"She saved my life!" Mikayla adds stepping closer to me - or hiding behind my back to save herself, I really can't tell... But I can clearly see the questions in both of the brother's eyes and raised eyebrows after that sentence. That was the detail I would have liked to leave out until things smooth up a little...

"She was being chased by two men." I explain as I am slowly stepping to the entrance, closing the door behind us. "They'd have murdered her."

"Maybe they'd got a reason to do so..." Joel grunts in a low voice. My eyes jump onto his hazel ones. When our gazes meet I can see that he's really pissed off - but do his eyes soften a little on me or am I just imagining?

"She said she didn't know them..." I answer, my voice sounding a bit more unsure than I would have liked it to. "She leaves the second the blizzard outside is weakening." I say and I adress my words to both the brothers and Mikayla as well. I even look at her behind my back so that it is clear for her too.

She nods back weakly and the brothers also share a gaze. Joel's the first one to lower the gun, but only because he's the kind of leader of us. I have a feeling Tommy would have lovered his sooner if it was on him. I feel a little relieved now that there's no weapon pointing at me and even Mikayla steps out from behind the cover of my not so sturdy back.

I let out a huge sigh, as I take off my hoods and I just realize how much my body is shaking. Both from being exhausted and cold at the same time. I can't feel any of my fingers on my numb body properly, neither the point of my nose - and of course my ears. Especially that right one. I take off my jacket and place it by the furnace again and before I'd sit down, I pull out my hunting knife from my boots.

"I only found one of your traps, Tommy." I say. "But it was empty."

"No wonder in this damn weather." He answers quietly. I have a feeling his blue eyes are still half on Mikayla who is now awkwardly sitting by the wall, still in her all wet clothes. Before I'd do anything else, I check my ears in the reflection of my knife. The left is red as hell, some points even grey, but it seems fine. My right one though - now that is not looking so well. My heart sunkens sadly when I see the tip of my ear is completely black... Meaning that part cannot be saved...

Damn it. This is something I wasn't missing from my life at all. Not to talk about the fact I can only thank myself for this. Joel warned me... And all this because I cannot control my feelings properly. Why has it been soo hard lately? I got used to the peaceful lifestyle in Anderson Mill too much, I guess, and so many things have happened lately.

"Fuck..." I sigh and swallow back my stomach into its original place. I feel a little dizzy but only because I think about how damn much it will hurt when one of the brothers cut a piece off of my body... Becasue it has to be cut, that's for sure, before an infection will happen and I'd need medicine.

"What?" Tommy asks as he hears me curse.

"My ear..." I say quietly and pull my hair away when the younger brother steps closer to check upon it.

"Fuck, Charlie..." he says as he looks at my unsaveable body part. "You are only lucky because it is not your whole ear." He adds, but since the hardest part is still ahead of me, I don't exactly feel relieved. My stomach clenches nervously when I see Joel's dark figure coming towards me from the corner of my eyes.

"I told you not to go out today." Is all he says. God how much I hate 'I told you so's...

"I know." I say without looking at him. All I do is reach my knife towards the brothers and ask: "So, who's going to do it?" I can see them gaze at each other again and then Tommy steps back. He raises his arms as he says: "It's your expertise."

Joel takes the knife without a word. I can see his eyes jump on Mikayla for a second, checking upon her - but she's been sitting silently in the corner ever since we arrived. She's still in her wet clothes as well as she's silently observing us with all her attention. Her figure seems even smaller than outside as she's hugging her knees, trying to make herself as little as possible. Her eyes give me the chills... I feel like I am an animal in a zoo under her gaze - or labrat in an experiment? I can't decide.

Before Joel starts with my ear, he opens the furnace and puts the blade of my knife into the fire, waiting long seconds before taking it out again. Of course the small fire is not hot enough to heat it white, only to disinfect the metal to not couse me a nasty infection on top of it all. I gather my courage to look into his eyes, but he's not looking back at me. He's extremely pissed and I understand him.

Bringing Mikayla back with me was a risk. Period.

I pull all of my wet hair to the left side of my neck, and Joel reaches under my chin to bend my head in a convenient position for him to work. When I feel the hot blade touch my skin I immediately pull my head away as a reflex, but then I take a deep breath, bite the inside of my lips and close my eyes, trying to think of something distracting. I can feel Joel's warm breath tickle my neck and that is working like a wonder, attracting my thoughts towards the sensation like a magnet.

Sadly it only lasts until I feel the stinging pain in my ear, so fucking sharp I would like to scream and kick something, anything, anyone... But it only lasts for a few seconds, and in the end I manage to control myself, all that is leaving my body are my painful whimpers through my pressed together lips. These few seconds are enough to make me sweaty though, and I very well know that the end is nowhere near. The wound on my now deficient ear still needs to be sewn closed...

I feel a little dizzy, and the warm throbbing of the pain is slowly extending onto the whole right side of my head. Gosh, I'm such a retard... What was I even thinking? All because I felt jealous... I am even ashamed to just think about it.

After the small needle Joel's going to use has also spent a few seconds inside the hot hugs of the orange and yellow flames, other painfully long minutes of torture come. I can feel the little drops of sweat appearing on my forehead and neck, but I am trying to hold myself and in the end, the man beside me finally finishes.

I collapse onto my knees in front of me tiredly and let myself gather my strenght for a few seconds before looking up.

"Thanks." I say as I carefully touch the stitchings on the remainings of my ear. He doesn't answer but I don't have the energy to even take it upon myself. Besides he's got every right to be pissed. I look over Tommy, who's standing besides the window. Outside it is almost dark again, everthing has turned into a cold metallyc grey in the storming wind and I am glad I am under a roof now. I look over Mikayla in the corner, still sitting in the same position. I think she hasn't moved the slightest since we've been inside.

I stand up weakly as I say: "You should take off your wet clothes." My voice is dry and hoarse so I try to clear it, but don't really succeed so I step for my bag and fish my bottle of water out. I drink like it is the end of the world - I'm so funny sometimes, I know - and when I'm done I step closer to the girl and reach my bottle towards her.

"Drink." I say and she accepts the water. Though she is not drinking much at all. It seems like she's drinking only out of obligation, strictly trying to behave to please us. Is it really strange or I am just way too tired and on the edge? Wish the right side of my head wouldn't be throbbing in pain... I could think clearer.

"Charlie..." I hear Tommy's voice coming from behind me. He's standing in the door of the next room where we sleep. Joel's standing by the window now, looking out, but I can see he's resting his right on the grip of his revolver. "Can you come for a sec?" Tommy asks in the end and I nod as I stand up.

When we step inside the next room he closes the door behind us and turns to face me right away.

"There's something really fishy about this girl." he starts and I wish I could insist, but I agree with him from the bottom of my heart.

"I know..." I say as I rub my eyes. "But what if she's just a girl? I couldn't leave her out to die on her own in a blizzard..." I start to explain but in the end I drop my shoulders as I look up into Tommy's sky blue eyes. He's not angry but worried instead. "I'm so sorry I was stupid again..." I sigh.

"Get some rest." he says, placing his hand on my back and gently leading me towards the couch.

"No, I want to keep a watch on her." I insist, but Tommy cuts me off.

"Joel and I can handle a little girl, don't worry." he pushes me down on the settee and I can feel my resistance fade the moment my body touches the soft cushions under me. "You are no use anyway if you are exhausted and we just had to cut a peace off your ear."

"Fine but... don't let me sleep for long, okay?" I look at him. I can tell his tenser than usual, still the ever present calmness of his aura is soothing me, when his eyes meet mine.

"Okay."

xxx

I step between the sea of dead bodies silently. I stop by each and every one of them - I need to pull my arrows out of their remainings.

I killed all of these people. Me, alone. I need to swallow back my tears and force myself to go on. I always have to go on, though I can't remember the reason why I am on the go at all.

"Look what you did." I hear a voice coming from behind me and I immediately spin around my heels. My heart jumps happily when I see it is my sister. It is good to see her again. But why? Have parted in the first place?

"I didn't..." I start insisting automatically but then I look at the bloody arrow in my clenching fist. "I wasn't... I had to!" I try to defend myself but when I look into my sister's eyes all I see is pity.

"You should have stayed put." She says, looking down at me. "You will never reach me..."

"Don't say this!" I scream and step closer to her but she dissolves and I am left alone with the endless amount of dead bodies again.

"Where...?" I would like to ask where is she, but I hear voices of a muffled conversation coming from somewhere. I start to walk between the corpses around me, all of them facing the pale, grey ground under us. I am looking for the source of the voices, but it is hard to find who's talking without seeing their faces.

I am now running, stumbling on a hand or a leg from time to time.

"The girl is with them." I can hear the words coming right near me and I stop immediately to listen.

"Do we kill the others too?" I step next to the black haired corpse a few feet away from me and turn his body to face the sky. His face is emotionless, it is only the lips that are moving. His greyed out, glass eyes are staring into the nothing...

"No, we only need the girl." Now the voice is coming from a different body. I stumble towards it and also turn his face towards the sky. It's me...

My grey eyes are staring into the distance as my emotionless, blue lips are forming the words. I just stare at myself in shock when the lifeless eyes suddenly jump on me and I am staring in the empty void behind them...

"No!" I scream and sit up on the settee, my wet hair stuck all over my face as I am panting, looking around myself in the dark little room. Though the wind is still whistleing outside, I can hear the same voices I heard in my dreams are still present, coming from the window next to me and I jump up immediately.

By the time I am on my feet to try to catch what they are talking about they fall silent and I can hear nothing but the angry sounds of the roaring storm outside. They must be planning to surprise us...

I get my hunting knife into my hand as I am opening up the door but I am late and my actions only make things worse as the brothers' attention jump on me first and not on the front door that is also opening up behind them.

By the time they'd grab their weapons, two men are already inside the hut, both of them holding their rifles high up, aiming at Tommy and Joel. Mikayla silently jumps by me and since I am older, I instinctively step in front of her - having only my knife to defend us...