8.1 Earth Alliance HQ

"Have James, Lt. Vega bring Shepard to the committee, now." Anderson said as he got out of the shuttle and walked into the HQ.

"Yes, sir." the aide said and typed something into a data pad and then waited.

"I want everyone on the Normandy. I want all systems checked. I want her prepped for launch." Andersons said.

"Launch, sir?" the aide said.

"I mean as if getting ready for launch. I want to know how close we are to being ready to go." Anderson said. The aide nodded and made notes. "Also get Fl. Lt. Moreau is on board immediately, in case we need to talk to the VI and keep him there until I say so."

"Yes, sir." he said and typed something else into the data pad and then waited.

"Where is Maj. Alenko?" Anderson asked.

"He's talking to the committee now, sir." he said.

"Good. Don't let him leave the HQ." Anderson said. "Did Lt. Cortez get the weapons and armor I ordered checked in?"

"Let me check… yes, full set of Alliance standard weapons checked in along with one set of male Alliance heavy armor extra large, one set male Alliance standard armor tech/biotic compatible, and one set of N7 armor… uh… female? That must be a mistake... I'll get a male set of N7 armor delivered, right away." the aide said.

"No, that's right," Anderson said. "All software and communications hardware installed."

"Yes, sir, we haven't had a chance to test the QE communicator." he said.

"No doubt we will soon," Andersons said. "That's all." the aide left.

Anderson turned the corner and saw Shepard and James heading towards him.

8.2 Menea (Palavan moon)

It had been a busy day. Garrus had been raised up in the hierarchy, given a new title as 'Expert Reaper Adviser to the Primarch' He had given a briefing to the hierarchy on everything he knew about the reapers, which thankfully he had prepared in advance, and the changes his Reaper Task Force had made. He had suggested the strategy of using the moon as a forward position which had been accepted by the hierarchy. It wasn't a perfect plan but it was the best one he'd come up with and better than anything anyone else had at this point.

He had watched the attack from the moon and then fought on the ground during the first wave. They had held… barely. As the fighting went on the Primarch had ordered him to get some sleep. The Primarch had said if anyone needed a clear head right now, it was him. Garrus found a supply tent, set up a cot, and started to lay down.

"Vakaraian, sir." a soldier came up to him and saluted.

"Yes," he said.

"We thought you might want to know… the reapers, sir… they hit Earth. The Alliance had withdrawn from the system and as far as anyone can tell, no one got off-world. I downloaded all the reports we have in case you wanted to review them, sir." He handed him a datapad. Garrus took it.

"Thank you." Garrus said. The soldier saluted and left.

Garrus sat down on the cot and scrolled through the reports. They were bad. Earth had been completely overrun within a couple of hours. The Alliance had withdrawn, sacrificing an entire fleet in order to escape. The entire system was under reaper control. No ships had been reported leaving the planet. He put down the datapad. That meant either she was trapped on Earth or she was dead.

He had never considered that she wouldn't be part of this fight, never even thought about fighting this war without her. Now it was a near certainty even if she was alive, that he'd never see her again. He knew the war was coming, knew there would be casualties but somehow that hit him harder than he expected.

He opened his bag to get out the salve for his burns and saw that Sol had packed the bottle of champagne he had bought. He thought about opening it, drinking it, or just smashing it on the ground, but he wasn't ready to give up on her yet. She had been through worse, been killed and come back. He would hold on to that one last bit of hope, at least for a while longer.

8.4 Mars

"Shepard, I need a straight answer," Kaidan said.

"About what?" she said.

"Do you have any idea what Cerberus is doing here?" he said.

"What makes you think I'd know what they're up to?" she said.

"You worked for them, how am I not supposed to think that?" he said.

"Because you more than anyone should know what I'm about." she said. "Listen, I didn't work for them, I used them to take down the collectors, and that's it. Besides how or better yet, why would they tell me their plans when I'm in the Detention Wing of Alliance HQ? Come on, Kaidan, you're smarter than that."

"I'm sorry, it's just…" the elevator finished pressurizing and opened.

"You don't trust Cerberus, I get it, but I am done explaining myself to you." she said.

8.5 Mars

"Is this what they did to you?" Kaidan said.

"Kaidan, they didn't change me." she said, and how it is that you are the only one who has ever asked that, ever questions my loyalty or motives?" He looked away.

"I have a mission, and I'm not going to force you to come along." she said.

"I'm with you. I've always been with you, I just wanted you to know…"

"I think I figured it out." she said. "Come on, let's see if they will send that tram. " she handed the radio to him.

"What?" he said.

"Have you seen any female Cerberus troops?" she said.

8.6 Normandy SR-2 Medical Bay

Shepard found a uniform in a locker and put it on. She went back to the medical bay and sat next to Kaidan. He was critical but stable.

She thought about the last time she had watched him sleep, which had been before Illos, and about how much had changed since then and about how much hadn't. She still cared about him. She'd had to put that aside during the collector mission but now she realized that despite everything she still did. He didn't trust Cerberus, of course neither had she, but maybe it wasn't fair to say that he didn't really know her. They hadn't had that much time before the Normandy was destroyed and her being gone and then coming back, maybe things just weren't as simple as she had made them out to be. At least now they didn't feel simple.

She took his hand. They fit together, she had forgotten how well. She thought about the last time she had held the hand of someone close to her, someone who was severely injured, how she had nearly lost two of the most important people in her life and that given everything going on, she still might.

8.7 Citadel

Shepard told Liara to go on ahead to the Council chambers, she would catch up. She went by the hospital. The doctor told her that he had suffered a severe concussion and that the head trauma had dislodged his implant and caused swelling in his brain. He still hadn't regained consciousness, however, they had reduced the swelling and she was optimistic that he would make a full recovery.

Shepard went in to see him. Just in case he could hear her, she told him to get better, that this war needed him and that she needed him, that he had to fight.

She walked out of the hospital and towards the council chamber, then she heard the news report. She stopped and found the vid screen and listened. It said in so many words that the reapers had attacked Palavan. She felt as though she had been hit hard in the chest. She stood there listening to the reports over and over again.

An asari came up and stood next to her. "What did they say about Palavan?" she asked.

"The reapers attacked," Shepard said.

"Oh, no… no…" she said. They both stood there listening to the reports.

"You know someone there?" Shepard said.

"Yes, my bondmate. He's there visiting his family." she said. "Do you know someone there?"

"Yes, my… I mean, he is… yes." Shepard said.

As they stood there they showed pictures from the planet. "Goddess!" the asari said. "No, we should pray to the spirits."

"Yes, we should." Shepard said. The asari took her hand. "Spirits, please protect our men… No, that's not right… they don't do that, do they?"

"Spirits," Shepard said, "give them the strength to do what they had to and if there is a way that we can see them again, let us find it."

"Yes, yes, please spirits." the asari said and started to cry. Shepard held her hand and stared at the screen.

8.8 Citadel Council Chamber

"So this is the device you mentioned in your report, Dr. T'Soni." the salarian councilor said as Shepard walked up to the podium.

"Yes, it is as we suspected, a device capable of unimaginable levels of destruction." Liara said.

"But what does it do?" the asari councilor said.

"We don't know." Liara said. "There was more information on it in the archive but we didn't have time to translate it before the attack. However, we do know that the protheans believed that this was the key to defeating the reapers."

"Then why didn't they use it?" the asari councilor said.

"They ran out of time." Liara said. "Remember when the reapers attacked the protheans they were able to use the Citadel and hit them by surprise, they then controlled the mass relay system and all communications. By the time they had these plans not only had most of the galaxy been defeated by the reapers but they had no way to contact other survivors or get the necessary resources."

"As far as we know, this device could wipe out all life in the galaxy." the salarian councilor said.

"Yes, that is true." Liara said. "But what other choice do we have?"

Shepard listened but could hardly believe what she was hearing. "Don't you understand? Each of us fighting on our own is exactly what the reapers want. None of us can defeat them alone, we have to work together. Yes, this device is an unknown but it is the only chance we have."

"I'm sorry, commander." The salarian councilor said.

8.9 Human Coucilor's office

"How can they be so blind?" Shepard said.

"Their actions shouldn't surprise you." the turians council said as he entered the room. "The asari and salraians know nothing about war. Every galactic war that has been fought the Council has used other species to fight it, the krogan, the turians, and now the humans. Our species understand war. Our histories are filled with it. I guess it should come as no surprise that when they met for the first time shots were exchanged."

"But the truth of it is this, the Council was formed to keep galactic peace. It is not designed nor does it even have the capacity or capability to wage a war or build such a device. We have only the resources given to us and while in peacetime we can issue sanctions to force members to comply I doubt now anyone cares if we issue trade restrictions. Our fleet is taxed to capacity with guarding the Citadel and handling the refugees. Even if we could manage to build it, it would have to be here in Citadel space which makes it an easy target for the reapers."

"This task must fall to the Alliance and to you. The Alliance is in a unique position in that it now has no homeworld to defend. It can devote all remaining resources to this device. I believe that this war will hinge on us holding Palavan and your completion of this device." he said.

"So what do you advise?" she said.

"The Primarch was going to call the war meetings but then we lost contact after he was moved to one of Palavan's moons. The Normandy can get there and extract him. He will be your best ally," he said.

"What about the asari or salarians?" Shepard asked.

"We can't expect help from either of them." he said. "the asari are too willing to wait and see, they have ruled for too long and too confident in their own abilities. Believe me when I say that they don't care if there is a galaxy left as long as they are the one running it."

"The salaraians are worse. Some of the dalatrasses are threatening civil war if any salarian troops are sent to protect anything other than salarian space. The military and especially the STG are chafing at their inaction. How long they continue to hold out remains to be seen but we can't count on them." he said.

"The way they are acting you'd almost have to wonder if they aren't indoctrinated." Shepard said.

"No, I don't think so but I can't say that idea doesn't give me a moments' pause." he said. "And know that whatever we had to say publicly, privately we always believed you. We did what we could although it seems woefully inadequate now. Much went on outside of the public knowledge and hopefully, some of that will now be of use to you. Good luck and spirits guide you."

8.10 Normandy Captain's Cabin

"What's bothering you?" Liara asked.

"What isn't?" Shepard said. "The destruction of Earth, the council refusing to help, every race looking out for itself, Kaidan getting hurt..."

"True, but I get the feeling there's something else." Liara said.

"Garrus… he's... he's on Palavan." Shepard said.

"No, no," Liara said. "Shepard, I'm so sorry."

"I just... I can't imagine not ever hearing his voice again," She said.

"Garrus is tough. I'm sure he's alive," Liara said.

"Maybe, but you know he'll be in the middle of the fight," she said, "and if he's on Palavan, there's no way to find him or get to him, and even if I could…"

The elevator opened and a woman stepped out. "Commander Shepard, oh I'm sorry, I thought you were alone." Sam said.

8.11 Normandy SR-2

Shepard had finally gotten a chance to tour the ship and meet the crew. She had also gone to all the places the squad had been, the lower level of engineering, life support, observation, the cargo bays, and in the bottom level she had found Chewie. He had run to her and jumped into her hand. She put him in her pocket and went to the crew level and walked towards the main battery.

It was different, but, like the rest of the ship, not. She didn't know that he was dead, but if he was on Palavan, she'd have to fight this war without him. She had never even considered that an option. Maybe she could, not as stylishly, of course. But if she held out hope that he was alive and then found out he was dead... She had to be prepared for that, she had to be ready in case that's what happened. The only way she knew how was to keep telling herself he was dead until she could accept it. But each time she did, it felt like a piece of her died.

There is a difference between being lonely, being alone, and feeling alone. Before the SR-1, she had been alone, but it was safer. Then when she had woken up rebuilt by Cerberus, she hadn't been alone but lonely. She had missed her crew, her friends, her makeshift family. At Alliance HQ, she had been both, alone and lonely but even then she hadn't felt alone because she knew that he was out there somewhere. As hard as leaving Earth had been, knowing he was out there, and that she cudl now go find him, that they couldn't fight this war together had made it bearable. Now, thinking that he may not be out there, she felt as if part of her was missing.

She looked around one last time and then went back to her room. She put Chewie in his cage and fed him. Then she got ready. They were almost there.

8.12 Meanea (Palavan moon)

Garrus had been trying to reach the command center for an hour. Finally, he got through.

"What the hell is going on?" Garrus said.

"Comm tower went down. They tried to repair it but were overrun by husks. Commander Shepard got it operational again." the general said.

"Commander Shepard?" Garrus said but stopped himself before he said 'my Commander Shepard.' What was she doing here? She couldn't be here to get him as no one knew he was here. "What's she doing here?"

"She's here to get the Primarch for the war meetings but he was killed. I've finally been able to reach Palavan to find out who the next primarch is. It's Gen. Victus. I've been trying to reach him but so far no luck." he said.

"Where is she now?" Garrus said.

"Still at the comm tower. She's waiting on me to let her know who the next Primarch is." he said.

"Listen, have her come back to camp but don't tell her anything until I get there. Do not let her leave the camp, understand?" Garrus said.

"Yes, sir." He said.

Garrus started back to the camp. He could hardly believe she was this close. Good thing he hadn't drunk the wine.

8.13 Meana (Palavan moon)

"It doesn't matter who," Shepard said. "It doesn't have to be the primarch, just someone, anyone who can represent the turian government and get the resources we need." Shepard was getting frustrated, James could tell. She was a soldier and dealing is all this political bs wasn't her game.

"I'm on it, Shepard. We'll find you the Primarch." said a turian who was walking up to them. He was one of the only ones he'd seen with heavy armor on. He also had a visor over his left eye and an impressive set of scars over the right side of his face.

"Garrus!" Shepard said.

"Vakarian, sir." the general said and saluted. "I didn't see you.'

"At ease, general." Garrus said. He almost sounded amused.

"You're alive.' Shepard said surprised and walked up to him. Instead of shaking hands, this 'Garrus' took her hand in both of his. This must be the old friend, James thought.

"I'm hard to kill, you know that." he said.

"It's good to see you, again." she said. She sounded relieved, happy, more so than when they'd met Liara. I guess she hadn't expected Liara to be dead, but it seemed to be more than that. She was stumbling over what to say like… he didn't even know, but he'd never seen her like this. "I thought you'd be on Palavan." she said, sounding more like herself.

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palavan," he said. "I'm the closest thing we have to an expert, so I'm advising." For the first time, Garrus noticed that James and Liara were standing there.

"Garrus, this is Lt. James Vega. James, this is Garrus Vakarian, he helped me stop Saren and the collectors. He's a hell of a soldier." she said. Coming from her that was a hell of a compliment. James stepped out and shook his hand. Good handshake for a turian.

"Lieutenant," Garrus said, then turned to Liara. "Good to see you too Liara."

"Glad to see you're still in one piece, Garrus," she said. Garrus didn't take Liara's hand as he had Shepard's. As they continued talking James looked around but one thing that did catch his attention was that Shepard asked Garus his opinion on the new Primarch and seemed to value it, a lot.

Joker contacted her saying something was wrong with the ship. Liara offered to go back and help. Just then a harvester flew over. Shepard said they'd go find it.

"You coming, Garrus?" she said with a smile he'd never seen before. If he didn't know better he might think that she was flirting with him.

8.14 Meanea (Palavan moon)

"See this devastation, double that for earth," she said, "None of us can beat the reapers alone. We have a plan but for it to work we need turian support, we need the turian fleet. Both of us, the entire galaxy, needs this alliance."

"Let me say goodbye to my men," Victus said.

"Without him down here, there's a good chance we lost this moon," Garrus said.

"I know, but without him up there, there's a good chance we lose everything," she said.

Garrus looked at the reaper in the distance. "You think you can win this thing, Shepard?"

If anyone else had asked her that, she'd say 'Yes, I do. We can do this. We can win this.' That's what she'd told Liara. But Garrus was different. He didn't need that kind of reassurance. If there was one person in this galaxy she could be honest with, it was him.

"I don't know, Garrus," she said. "But I'm sure as hell going to give it my best shot." That wasn't what she wanted to say. She wanted to say 'Not without you. Come with me.' but she couldn't. She couldn't ask a soldier to leave their home when it was being attacked. She had but she had been under orders and in truth Earth was lost. Palawan's fate was still in their hands, they needed him but then again so did she.

"Well, I'm damn sure no one else can do it." He said. This was going to be it. This is where they say goodbye. One last moment, one last handshake, or touching of foreheads, and then that would be it.

"For what it's worth, I'm with you," he said.

"Welcome back," she said.

8.15 Normandy SR-2 Shuttle Bay

"Commander, the asari councilor wants to talk to you." Sam said.

"I'll take it, forward it to the comm room." she said. "Primarch, if you'll excuse me, Specialist Treyner can show you to the war room and get you set up with any communications you need."

"Of course, commander." Victus said. Shepard hurried to the elevator.

After getting off the shuttle, Garrus picked up his bag and rifle case and headed to the elevator.

Lt. Cortez stopped him, "I'm sorry sir, but only security are allowed to have weapons on the upper decks. You can leave your weapons here in the armory and we'll take care of them for you."

"I'm an exception," Garrus said.

"Yeah, sorry Cortez, no one touches Garrus's big gun, except Shepard, of course," Joker said over the comm.

"Joker, you're here?" Garrus said.

"Yep, just like old times, huh?" Joker said. "They made a few changes to the ship, got everything in line with Alliance regs but I'm sure you'll need to recalibrate the weapons, again. I had a workbench set up in the main battery for you."

"Thanks." Garrus said as stepped into the elevator.

8.16 Hospital

"Excuse me," a low rough voice said. Kaidan looked at the door. It took him a few seconds to recognize the being at the door as a drell as he had never seen one in person before.

"Yes, can I help you?" Kaidan said.

"I heard that you arrived here on the Normandy. Is that correct?" he said.

"Why?" Kaidan said.

"I was wondering if Commander Shepard was here, if she had escaped Earth?" he said.

"You know Shepard?" Kaidan said.

"Yes, I was on the team that destroyed the collector base." he said.

Kaidan remembered reading the reports, something about a drell... assassin? "Yes, she escaped. She was here but she had to leave." At least that's what the doctor had told him.

"Thank Arashu." he said and seemed relieved. He started to leave and then stopped. "Do you know if she has heard from Garrus Vakarian? When we last spoke he said he was returning to Palavan. Since the attack, I have tried to contact him but failed. I figured that as close as they are if anyone has heard from him, it would be her."

"No, I don't know." Kaidan said.

"Thank you." he said and left.

What did he mean 'as close as they are'? That sounded like more than just friends, and he said it so openly, like whatever it was wasn't a secret. Kaidan felt his chest tighten. Something must have happened between them.

8.17 Normandy SR-2 Shuttle Bay

"What do you think Joker meant by that turian's 'big gun'?" James asked Steve. "And then that part about only Shepard touches it? He meant his gun, right? Not his 'gun'? Do turians even have a 'gun'?"

"Why are you asking me?" Steve said. "Why don't you ask Joker what he meant?"

James thought about how he had taken Shepard's hand in his. "Not sure I want to know," he said to himself.

Steve smiled. Someone's jealous.

8.18 Normandy SR-2 Main Battery

Shepard walked to the main battery. He was talking to the Primarch as he checked the weapons.

"Didn't waste any time getting to work, I see." she said.

"After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation, gives me something to focus on." he said.

"We need you for more than your ability to calibrate Normandy's weapons." she said.

"Oh, I'm ready for it, but I still think we'll need big guns and lots of them." he said.

"Can't argue with that." she said.

"So, is this the part where we..." 'kiss' he wanted to say 'kiss,' but that might be pushing it, "...shake hands? No, we did that already. I'm not sure about the protocol on reunions, or if you still felt the same way about me." She started to say something when he cut in. "The scars are starting to fade. I remember they drove you wild."

She laughed, that was a good sign. He took a step closer to her. "But I can get all new ones if it will help."

"That won't be necessary." She leaned forward and kissed him on the right side of his mandible, then quietly said. "that's the protocol on reunions."

"The vids mentioned it might go something like that, at least I was hoping it would," he said. Damn, he wasn't supposed to know about that. Turians are such bad liars. "I mean, I didn't…" Damn it.

She took his hands in hers. "I missed you, Garrus. I thought about you a lot."

He hadn't realized how worried he had been that she had moved on or had changed her mind. "Glad to know my romantic skills made an impression. It will take more than reapers to come between this interspecies liaison." She let go of his hands and stepped back. Damn, he thought, went too far.

They talked about his reapers task forces and their newfound status. "That respect comes with a lot of sleepless nights. I can't even count the number of lives that depend on us, Garrus." she said.

"Well, when things start looking grim and I'm pretty sure they will, remember we're in this thing together, and if we both die in a giant explosion fighting a giant reaper, remember, I took the kill shot," he said.

"Never going to let me live that one down, huh?" she said.

"No," he said.

"I guess that's fair," she said. "Well, stay close. We have some catching up to do."

"You know where to find me and this time I can afford the good stuff." He pulled out the bottle of champaign. "There are benefits to being an Expert Reaper Advisor."

"Deal," she said and walked out of the main battery.

That went well, better than he expected. She still seemed interested. He had been concerned after seeing the lieutenant, especially after he had heard him call Shepard 'lola.' He knew that in human culture nicknames are usually reserved for friends or people who are more than friends. Then again, she had backed off, literally from him, and had only kissed him on the mandible.

Interested but maybe not yet ready. Maybe they needed to take things slow for a while. That was fine. He wanted her to be sure about this, about them. He could wait.