Author's Notes: With thanks to the lovely and amazing chaosandwonder , for sending me the prompt "fifty reasons to touch someone" 30. ... as comfort (Sorry this took so long! I can't draw like you, but I can offer you this for your kindness. Sorry that I'm a slow writer!) She's graciously granted me permission to use her OC in this piece. This story take place during the Battle of Corellia during the Class stories.
Corellan Halcyon splashed cold water on his face from the basin of the refresher, allowing the cool sensation to refresh him.
He had seen combat on dozens of worlds, but never on this scale before. Tens of thousands of Republic and Imperial soldiers were fighting all over Coronet City, most often in brutal block-by-block fighting. He couldn't begin to calculate the total casualties of it all, much less the long-term impact of leaving so many citizens homeless. He'd once heard from Rusk – who'd been fighting wars since before Corellan was born – that urban fighting was the bloodiest imaginable and he now saw the truth of it. Choosing to fight such a battle in a city was madness, and yet he was being forced to do exactly that.
Corellan knew all this bloodshed was only furthering the Emperor's plans. Whatever massive loss of life was required for his ritual the Battle of Corellia was certainly feeding into that. Somewhere out there, Tol Braga was orchestrating all of this under the Emperor's control. Corellan was determined to prevent the Emperor's dark work from coming to pass. The schemes he'd already stopped on Belsavis and Voss had, at their core, been precision attacks hidden amidst the backdrop of larger military operations, designed with the intent of triggering a chain reaction of apocalyptic events. A metaphorical hypodermic needle of poison to the heart.
By comparison, Corellia, with its brutal all-out warfare, was been like a mallet to the head.
Corellan's forces, both his own crew and those Jedi who Master Satele had placed under his command, had served magnificently thus far, prevailing against vast numbers of Imperials and Sith. Most of the Jedi reinforcements he'd been sent had been inexperienced when they'd arrived on Corellia, 'raw recruits' as Rusk had called them. Now, however, they were fighting like hardened combat veterans. They had already helped liberate most of planet's famed industrial base, turning that military production in the Republic's favor. Now they were gradually closing in on the government district.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Corellan and his people were winning. The Republic was pushing the Empire back.
Now standing in the refresher of a makeshift Republic command center in Axial Park, he had just a few minutes to collect himself before the next mission. He'd sent Lord Scourge – who had little interest in saving lives on Corellia except as a necessity to foil the Emperor's plans – to conduct reconnaissance and attacks of opportunity behind enemy lines. (He was remarkably proficient at it, and no Imperial soldier or officer was likely to challenge the Sith Lord's presence. Even if rumors of a Sith Lord going rogue did emerge, it would only sow dissent among the Empire's forces.) Doc was treating wounded soldiers and civilians in a nearby med-center. Teeseven was helping to get the Republic's local communications systems online so they could coordinate larger operations from here. Kira – at Corellan's insistence and over her very verbal protests – was recuperating back on their ship, having not slept in two days of fighting. He knew he would need her fresh and ready when the final confrontation came.
So it was that Sergeant Rusk would be joining him for his push against the Emperor's Imperial Guard at Axial Park. It was a task the Chagrian was well suited for, given his long history of combat.
As he dried his face with a disposable towel, Corellan looked up at himself in the mirror. He found he barely recognized the Jedi looking back at him. He was freshly shaved, but his eyes looked sunken, his face thin. This was what war did to people.
Tython feels like a lifetime ago. He thought to himself.
But he had learned by now that putting on a brave face for those under his command was part of whatever it was that he contributed to the Jedi Order and to the Galactic Republic. So he rolled his shoulders, straightened his armor and robes, ran a comb from a Republic field kit through his hair, and prepared to return to the action.
His crew needed him. The Jedi task force needed him. Corellia – the planet from which his parents apparently came from – needed him. The galaxy itself needed him. (Or so Master Satele had said. Corellan had his doubts, but this was unquestionably his mission.) He took reassurance in the fact that he was needed. That Corellan Halcyon had a place in the galaxy where he belonged.
Corellan couldn't explain it; he wouldn't have even admitted it out loud to anyone besides Kira, but somehow, he knew they were going to succeed. It felt arrogant to even think such a thing, given the immense loss of life and after everything that had happened up until now. But for the first time since escaping the Emperor's Fortress, the Jedi Knight was starting to envision a final victory.
He was clinging to that confidence right now. At this moment, after days of almost constant fighting and weeks of missions all over the galaxy, that belief was keeping him on his feet.
I can do this. Corellan told himself.
Now refreshed if not rested, he stepped out of the refresher, prepared to head back to the gathering site to meet Rusk and the Jedi strike teams. They would need to be given their assignments. They would need to hear a few words from their (somewhat reluctant) field commander. They would need to be led.
It was then that he felt a nearby tremor nearby through the Force, his consciousness reached out on reflex as he felt a knot of pain and fatigue, coming from the passageway behind the refreshers. Corellan ducked his head around the corner to see if he could find the source of the disturbance.
Seated in a fetal position on a pair of crash seats was a human female with arms wrapped around her legs and her head – crowned by her intricately braided long dark brown hair – buried in her knees. Clearly, she appeared deeply troubled. Corellan was surprised to see that she wore the long robes of a Jedi master as his brow furrowed in concern.
"Forgive me." He kept his voice low, but clear as he intruded on her privacy. "Can I assist you, Master?"
Startled, the Jedi looked up at him. He noted she seemed young to hold the rank of master, appearing to be no more than a year or two older than he was, if that. Her eyes – a lovely shade of amber – were bloodshot with exhaustion while her bronze skin looked almost ashen. He saw no tears in her eyes, but she'd clearly been holding in a wellspring of emotion. As her eyes focused on him, she blinked in recognition.
"I know you." She brushed a stray hair from her eyes. "You're the Hero of Tython, aren't you? Master Satele put you in charge of Order's main task force on Corellia."
He waved a dismissive hand at her use of that honorarium. Other Jedi might call him that; he was simply who he was.
"Just call me Corellan." He cautiously leaned closer. "Can I… forgive me Master, but you look like you're in distress?"
Suddenly self-conscious, the Jedi Master remembered herself. She lowered her feet to the floor and stood up, straightening her robes.
"I'm Master Hiraya Manawari." She gave him a weak smile. "You can call me Hiraya."
Corellan's eyebrows raised in recognition.
"It's an honor to meet you, Hiraya." He bowed, his arm crossing across his chest. "I've heard of your exploits. You've achieved some remarkable things for the order and the Republic. I'm glad to finally meet you." He paused, recalling the details he'd heard of her current assignment. "I was told you were also leading a mixed task force. An alliance you formed coming from several worlds."
"I was." She stammered. "I mean… I am. But I've just received some troubling news." Hiraya sighed. "I don't know if I'm fit to be commanding anyone, right now."
By his own reckoning, Corellan had very little experience counseling others, particularly not those in a position of leadership in his own Order. He briefly considered sending for some other Jedi more suitable to this task.
There's no one left to call on. He quickly realized. Bela Kiwiiks was busy on the other side of the city helping the displaced refugees. Jun Seros and Corin Tok had both been killed in the fighting days ago, before Corellan had even arrived. The masters of the Green Jedi were either dead or otherwise occupied, desperately trying to save their schismatic order. The other Jedi he'd encountered seemed to be even less experienced than Corellan himself.
He wasn't conceited enough to believe that the Force had drawn him to her. But he seemed to be the only one here, now.
I must try. He swallowed.
"Will you tell me what's happened?"
Hiraya chewed her lip in consideration, before evidently deciding to confide in him.
"My mentor in the Order… has fallen to the dark side." She finally answered, letting out an exhale that conveyed a wave of bottled-up emotions. "He's commanding a contingent of Sith forces here on Corellia."
Corellan absorbed that, finding himself unsurprised. Jedi falling to the dark side was certainly nothing new to him, but privately he'd hoped he would have been informed by the Council about this development given his overall mission on Corellia.
If I'm forced to divert my attention towards another target, it could take days…
He stopped, embarrassed at himself. He'd processed her words as a military commander and strategist, not as an active listener. Not as someone trying to help her.
I'm already failing at this.
She continued, apparently unaware of his discourtesy.
"The council has ordered me to… to neutralize him." Hiraya emphasized the word, as she sniffed, clearly aware of the implications of such a command. She cast her eyes downward. "I don't know if I can bring myself to stand against him."
He understood that he needed to say something now, even if he wasn't very good at this.
"Tell me about your mentor?" he inquired.
"Well, his name is Master…" she started to answer.
But Corellan had immediately realized he'd erred again, asking the wrong question. He was thinking like someone trying to solve her problem for her, not helping her to work through it. The name and deeds of Hiraya's mentor weren't the important part of this conversation, as they weren't the root cause of her turmoil.
"Forgive me." He interrupted, raising a forestalling hand. "I meant to ask who your mentor was to you?"
Hiraya seemed taken aback for a second, but quickly recovered. Corellan could almost feel her powerful intellect turn inward on her own thoughts and feelings.
It's good to talk about our problems with someone. Master Orgus had said to him once. Only now was he finally applying that lesson.
"Well, to me, he was like the village elders in my tribe." she began. He could see Hiraya's features start to soften at the wistful memory. "He welcomed me to Tython and was both like a father and mentor. Despite the fact I joined the Order later than most padawans, he made sure I didn't feel differently. It was through his guidance that I overcame my struggles and to become a rightful Jedi."
As she finished, Hiraya let out a long breath, and he could feel her relief at just sharing her troubles with someone. Corellan simply listened quietly, letting her get it out of her system. He couldn't help but think of his own mentors, the Jedi Masters who had taught him. Nowan Ko, who had taught him to respect all life. Sagottoh, who had put a training sabre in his hand and reminded him that it did not give life; it brought death, and so it should only be used responsibly in the service of life. Orgus, who had completed his training, recognizing that while he could guide Corellan, but that his choices would be his own.
Where would I be now if not for them?
"He sounds wonderful." He offered, in reflection.
Hiraya rewarded him with a flash of a bright smile as her eye glazed over at the wistful memory.
"He is. He really is." she sighed. Her expression soon fell again. "But now it's as if he's died, and rather than becoming one with the Force as he should have, he's left this dark and twisted shell of himself behind. And I need to stop him. Here, on Corellia. If I can't find some way to redeem him, to save the person who he was, then I have to kill him."
She looked away sadly.
"I don't know if I can bring myself to do that."
Corellan felt an upswelling of sympathy at her plight. He couldn't imagine being asked to face Orgus Din under such circumstances. Or – Force help him – Sagottoh Panaka or Nowan Ko.
"That's a terrible burden to carry." He offered, feeling helpless as he chewed his lip. "I know there's nothing that I can say that will make this any better. But for whatever its worth, they wouldn't have entrusted this task to you if you couldn't handle the responsibility. That you are the best Jedi for this mission."
Hiraya nodded silently in thanks. He hoped she didn't mind hearing something she probably already knew.
"Do you think I can save him?" she whispered. "Bring him back to the light?"
Corellan chewed on that and perhaps inevitably considered his own predicament with Tol Braga. He'd not known the Jedi Master for long, but in just a few months he'd come to see the Kel Dor as another valued mentor, and one of the most dedicated Jedi Masters he'd ever met. But Corellan knew what the Emperor had twisted him into. And now, Braga was attempting to bring about the annihilation of Corellia, granting the Emperor enough power for his ritual to end the Galaxy. It was as evil and destructive a goal as Corellan could imagine.
Tol Braga had to be stopped. No matter what the cost.
So, he now suspected, did Hiraya's fallen mentor.
"I don't know." Corellan finally found his resolve. "But it's good to have hope. Nothing else is possible without it."
He pressed on, even knowing what a toll this campaign had been for her and what lay ahead.
"And… I think that when the time comes, you'll do everything that could be done. That whatever happens, you'll do the best you can and that's the most anyone could ask for. You've accomplished great things for the galaxy, and you know your former mentor better than anyone else they could have sent. If you can't help him, then no one else could have."
"You have more worth and value to the order and the galaxy besides being a fighter or a military commander. You're a diplomat, a healer, a scholar and already a teacher to others. Jedi like you are the future of our order."
He gave Hiraya the most reassuring look he could muster.
"Your mentor clearly saw that in you, and whatever's happened since then, they've obviously helped cultivate those qualities. And that person will always be a part of you. Your actions and your choices are your own, but the person your mentor was lives on in everything you do. Whatever the future holds, you are his legacy. Your deeds and achievements honor him."
Hiraya closed her eyes.
"I understand." Her voice was fatigued, but a grim acceptance had taken hold.
"Good." Corellan scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He felt acutely out of his depth, advising a Jedi Master on a personal crisis. "Well, that's the most philosophical I've gotten for a while."
"Wait." Her eyes opened with a flash, full of concern. "What about you?"
"What about me?" he raised an eyebrow, not understanding the question.
"You've become the order's champion. Our hero. But don't you have value beyond being a warrior or a soldier?" Hiraya asked.
"Oh." he was taken aback by that. His own future wasn't a subject he normally considered.
It was Corellan's turn to look down at the duracrete floor of the base. He considered the strange twists and turns his life had taken, from his time growing up as a youngling on Uphrades all the way up to the present. He thought of the things he'd seen, the places he'd travelled to and the people he'd met. He thought of Sagottoh and Nowan, and the various masters and mentors who had followed them. He thought of Orgus Din and his life-changing experiences on Tython. He thought of his crew and all their missions together leading up to now.
A strange life for a Jedi. He observed. Not at all what he'd expected.
"I think I was always meant to serve the order in a… martial capacity, I suppose." He finally said. "If we weren't at war, I'd probably be serving in some minor role, standing guard at the Temple of Tython, perhaps." He recalled something Master Sagottoh had told him once. "Jedi weren't intended to be soldiers or warriors. We were meant to be peacekeepers, counselors, and scholars and diplomats like you, for example."
Just while speaking, he'd found his answer to her question, and how he saw himself within the Jedi.
"I fight for a galaxy where I'm redundant." Corellan expanded. "Where Jedi like you are the norm, and ones like me are the exception. I expect if we ever defeated the Sith for good… when we defeat the Sith for good… I'll just quietly withdraw from the wider galaxy and retire from the order. It would probably be better for everyone."
He chuckled. The war had marked him, and it would continue to do so. He didn't know what he'd be by the time it was over.
"Weapons should not be left out unattended."
Hiraya reached out, placing her hand on his. He was surprised by the simple gesture, drawing comfort from it.
"You have more to offer the Jedi and the galaxy than your prowess with a lightsaber, Corellan Halcyon." She smiled warmly. "You are more than a weapon. Far more."
Corellan found himself grinning boyishly, touched at the kindness in her words. He found himself feeling like a padawan again. He wasn't sure her words, but he did appreciate that someone would say that of him.
"Thank you, Hiraya. That's… very kind of you to say."
She nodded in acknowledgement and sighed.
"Why did it have to be us?"
Corellan could tell that the question was intended to be rhetorical, but still felt it deserved an answer regardless. Indeed, he'd been asking himself that same question not long ago. The conclusion he'd come to was not easy to hear, but she deserved the truth.
He reached back and touched her hand as she had his, gently but firmly.
"Maybe because we're the only ones who can."
Hiraya's eyes widened in surprise, and she looked past him for a moment. There was regret in her eyes, but he could feel her steely resolve as well.
"Perhaps we are." She finally replied. Though her words were passive, he could feel the strength and resolve behind them. This was the Jedi Master who had saved so many lives and forged an alliance of disparate factions. Thus was the Jedi Master who had accomplished so much and who represented what the Jedi should strive to be.
As the two started to turn for the exit, he stopped her.
"Hey - when this is over? When you finally get a chance to catch your breath?" he gave her a hopeful look. "Take some time for yourself. Do whatever it is that brings you peace. You deserve it."
Hiraya blinked as her cheeks blushed prettily, the corners of her lips turning upward into an unexpected grin as she looked past him again. Corellan couldn't say what thought had drawn that reaction from her, but he suspected that his words had led the Jedi Master to consider something very specific. He found his own thoughts turning to Kira and everything she meant to him. He drew comfort in the sensation, and strength for the battle to come.
"Thank you." She finally said. "For that and everything. I hope in time you can follow the same advice."
Corellan didn't miss her meaning, simply nodding firmly in thanks. He hoped the same, though he did not trust himself to say as much.
"Don't mention it." Now girded, the soldier – the Jedi hero and the reluctant military commander – mentally snapped back into place. Rusk would no doubt approve. So would have Orgus Din.
"You ready?"
"I am." She answered, her lips turning upwards until her expression matched his.
And with that, the two Jedi departed the base. Corellia – and their destinies – awaited them.
Author's Notes: A little cliched, I know. But I wanted to write something soft.
chaosandwonder is an amazing person, by the way. I am so grateful that she is part of this community. In Corellan's story, Ulannium Kaarz is the Barsen'thor of the Jedi Order, and his tale follows that of the Jedi Counselor. Hence, I intentionally leave Syo Bakarn's name out of it, so as not to compromise chaosandwonder 's own story. Nevertheless, Hiraya seems a delightful character.
(In case it wasn't obvious, when Hiraya grins near the end she is supposed to be thinking about Felix.)
Corellan's point of view of himself and the galaxy would change by the end of Knights of the Eternal Throne. But I wanted to discuss his perspectives at this particular point. He is humble, but more than that, he doesn't consider himself exceptional, except as a warrior.
The Jedi Knight on Corellia storyline can be a little frustrating. Satele claims to be putting you in charge of all Jedi forces on-planet, but this is clearly an exaggeration, as you find Jedi all over the planet who aren't under your command, not counting the ones from the Consular story. So I'm simply calling Corellan's group the 'main Jedi taskforce' here.
Minor notes
- I've always liked the character of Rusk, underdeveloped though he is. I'd like to explore Corellan's relationship with him further in the future.
- Corellan doesn't know Jun Seros was a corrupt fanatic at this point. More on that later.
- I have more planned involving Sagottoh and Nowan.
Thank you for reading.
