Chapter Seven
Awakening
Nearly a week had passed since Mikoto's attempt to revive the silver-haired Genome, and while it had taken most of that time for everyone to adjust to the idea of their former nemesis's revival, Dagger was simply ready for it to be over with. Kuja's vitals had been slowly improving over the week, a fact that kept Mikoto optimistic for his recovery; still, she had no idea how long it would take for him to wake up…much less fully recover. While his vitals improved, she also began sensing his consciousness stirring, too…though only time would tell.
The breeze played with silken tresses, and absently Dagger smoothed an ebon lock behind her ear. While the village had remained on edge since the success of Mikoto's technology, something inside Dagger had settled; she knew this would be Zidane's wish – whether it saved the life of the blond rogue or not. After all, he had convinced them to allow him to go back for the silver-haired Genome after Memoria's implosion. And yet…something still tugged at her doubts, nagging that this would only end in destruction.
Absently, the summoner sat on the nearby stump and dark eyes observed the mage's cemetery; it had begun to grow up, weeds and wildflowers nearly knee-high as they began to swallow the grave markers that dotted the field. Finally, she found the elegantly crafted staff perched in the front of the cemetery, the gold-plated wood gleaming beneath the sun. The Mace of Zeus, a powerful staff that Zidane had found during their trek through Memoria. A smile touched her lips, and Dagger sighed.
'I wish you were here, Vivi…' she thought to herself, eyes closing against the afternoon sunlight as it flickered between dancing leaves. She breathed in deeply, the scent of smoke from the synthesis shop and the musk of cedar from the nearby forest mixing into a somehow soothing perfume. '…I have to keep moving forward…just like he taught me,' she told herself, exhaling slowly. Footsteps echoed hollowly on the nearby walkway, alerting her to the approaching presence, and eyes quickly located the source as Mikoto approached; suddenly, Dagger's heart sank.
"How is he?" she asked eagerly.
"His vitals are excellent, and his body seems to be recovering some," Mikoto answered, words more vibrant than the queen had ever heard. "I believe he will awaken soon. Draven is watching him now." A soft smile touched pale lips, and Dagger returned the expression.
"…That's good," she convinced herself aloud, and Mikoto nodded.
"…That's not why I came." The blonde's demeanor changed suddenly, and Dagger frowned as she hesitated. From her pocket, Mikoto pulled a crumpled piece of paper, fingers gently unfurling the parchment. Cerulean eyes met hers, wide and sad.
"What is it?" the white mage finally asked, standing from her nook beneath the tree. Nervously, the blonde fiddled with the parchment, eyes finding the crinkles and creases in the worn and tattered paper.
"…It's a letter," she answered quietly. "…from Vivi." The summoner paused, eyes drifted back to the ornate staff, nearly buried beneath dancing wildflowers. Wordlessly, she rose from the stump and approached the blonde, and Mikoto shook her head. "I found this letter the day Vivi stopped…" she began, voice soft, nearly whimpered. "It was on the floor in Zidane's room beside him…I believe he'd been holding it before…" her voice trailed suddenly, as though she couldn't bring herself to state it twice. Finally, crystal eyes met hers, bright and clear like the summer sky, and she hesitantly offered the letter to the queen. "…I want you to read it." Dagger swallowed, dark eyes studying the Genome as a hesitant hand reached to accept the parchment. Glancing to the paper, she unfolded it, and with a last glimpse of the blonde's face, her attention fell to the letter.
Mikoto –
If you're reading this…then I have stopped. I wish I had more time…I'm not finished yet – there's still so much more I want to do…but, I knew that this time would come too soon. I don't want you to be sad. I know you tried to find a way to save me and the others, so please don't feel like it's your fault. You did everything you could. I know the village will only continue to grow, thanks to what you and the other Genomes have already done for us. I don't have the words to truly thank you.
I know we agreed not to tell her until we could figure out how to wake him but…Dagger won't stay in Alexandria forever. I know she'll want to search for him. When she comes back to the village looking for Zidane, I don't think you should tell her about Kuja. At least, not until you're sure she'll understand why the black mages and Genomes want to save him. I think she'll be too mad at first. But eventually…I hope she'll understand the same way that I do.
When Kuja killed Dagger's mother, I thought I'd be glad that she was gone. But when I saw Dagger crying…I felt sad, too. I didn't understand why until Zidane taught me an important lesson when he went back into the tree. He taught me about forgiveness, and that everyone deserves that chance. But Kuja took so much from Dagger…I'm not sure if she could ever forgive him. I'm afraid she might not understand, and that something bad might happen…
But I want Kuja to have the chance to know Gaia the way that the other Genomes have, and the way that the black mages did, so that he can learn about friendship. Maybe, if he's not alone anymore…maybe he'll understand, too. I know now why Kuja used the black mages, and even if I'm still mad about everything he's done…I wouldn't exist without him. So, I think he deserves the same chance that he gave me.
I'm writing this now, because I feel like my body is slowing down. Over the last couple of days, it seems like everything is harder. I'm sorry I didn't tell you…but I was afraid you would blame yourself, and I don't want you to feel sad. Instead…remember that my memories will be a part of this world forever, like the memories I told you about in Memoria.
Remember that, as long as you remember me, a part of me will be with you.
Thank you for everything.
Salty eyes blinked as tears streaked over fair skin, and warm breath tickled her lips as she exhaled. An auburn glove swiped across her eyes as Dagger handed the letter back to the Genome, and she gave a quiet sob into the fabric. Mikoto watched her for a moment, blue eyes more curious than sad as delicate fingers tucked a tuft of blonde behind her ear. Finally, she cleared her throat, tucking the paper back into her own pocket.
"You asked me before why I kept him from you," she began softly as the queen calmed her tears. "Vivi and I…we didn't want to. But…if you learned of Zidane…I knew you would also learn of Kuja's existence, and I feared that you would sabotage any attempts to revive him. And if I told you my suspicions – that it might have been Kuja that put Zidane into his slumber…I feared you would blame him and resent him even more. Vivi…he wanted so badly to tell you. Truly… But he also shared my concerns."
"…I'm so sorry I blamed you," Dagger managed.
"I had known you would," Mikoto answered quickly. "But…it was also Vivi's wish for you to only know when you could truly understand why. Just as it was also Zidane's wish for him to be spared."
"Mikoto…" the queen's voice trailed, and she gave a soft smile. However, any words she might have spoken were cut short as hurried footsteps reached their ears from the nearby walkway.
"Mikoto!" Draven called, running towards them, and the Genome whirled. "I believe it's happening…I believe Kuja is beginning to wake!" Dark eyes met crystal orbs, briefly locking and both unreadable. Quickly, Mikoto bolted, Dagger following on her heels, and nearly dashing into her as she hesitated in front of the door of the cabin. A shaky hand reached for the knob, turning it slowly and pushing it open with a whine of protest. Silently, she approached his bedside; eyelids twitched and fingers shuddered by his side, his whole body alive somehow, like a child on the brink of jolting from a nightmare.
"Draven…please check in on Zidane. Let me know if there are any changes."
*~*~*0*~*~*
Eyes slowly, heavily opened, and the world smeared in kaleidoscope of colors; there was a bright aqua light from the far edge of his vision, drowning and obscuring the darker blobs before him. Lids flickered, attempting to clear the film from his eyes, but it persisted. Vaguely, a voice tugged at his attention, but he couldn't make out the sound; it was muffled against his ears, like being submerged in water.
'…Zidane…' he realized, quickly attempting to sit up. Sharpness pierced him, and distantly he heard his own voice cry out with agony, like the screams he'd heard as Bahamut set Alexandria ablaze. '…Zidane…' A hand pushed him down gently, and his body easily gave to the touch as he fell back to the floor of the Iifa Tree. …No…it was softer, more synthetic. Eager eyes tried to take in his surroundings – where was he?! Where was Zidane…?
"Zidane!" he called, though he was certain the words barely escaped his lips.
"Kuja, please…calm yourself," Mikoto pleaded. Pool blue eyes found hers, unfocused and almost glazed.
"…It's me…Mikoto," she said, telepathically. Suddenly, the Genome settled, vision finally beginning to clear, as he drank in his surroundings. "…You are safe…"
"…Mikoto…" he managed, eyes blinking as they focused on the familiar tuft of blonde, and she gave a soft smile.
"…I…It actually…" she replied, more to herself than to the Genome or the queen who watched anxiously nearby. "…It worked…"
"…Worked…?" he repeated quietly, now fully aware that he was no longer in the Iifa Tree, but instead in a meager cottage of some sort. "Wh-where am I?" he asked when she didn't clarify. "Where's…?"
"Zidane is safe," Dagger managed, stepping closer, and her soft voice tore the blonde away from her reeling thoughts. Marine eyes flickered to the queen, and darkness settled over his features.
"I…I don't understand…" Kuja trailed; carefully, he sat up, eyes pouring over his body, pale porcelain splotched with shades of purple. "…I should be…"
"I've extended your life," Mikoto explained. Slowly his gaze met hers, disbelief lingering over his otherwise unreadable expression.
"…I don't deserve it," he said tersely, and the excitement faded from his sister's face. "After everything…after all I've done…you should have let me die!"
"Kuja, I –"
"You're an Angel of Death, not of Life!" he spat, and Mikoto flinched away at the outburst. "It wasn't supposed to…I wasn't… You should have let me die – allow my suffering to end! This world has no place for me – it's better off without me!"
"Please, Kuja, just –" sharp eyes cut into the queen as she interjected.
"Is this why Zidane wished to spare me? So that his pet could keep me prisoner for my crimes against this world?"
"Kuja…" Mikoto attempted weakly, though Kuja's eyes fiercely locked onto the queen.
"This was what you wanted – you resent me, despise me for exploiting your mother's greed, for using it for my benefit. Has this world not suffered enough at my hands, or do you seek only retribution?!" Finally, wild eyes found the blonde again, and he snarled. "And you… a mere pawn of Garland – you had no right to interfere! You –" Kuja's rant was cut short as a gloved hand struck his cheek, silver tresses dancing in his vision as he fell back to the cot from the unexpected blow. The sudden movement sent a shock through his body, pain tearing through him like a caged animal gnawing at its restrains. Teeth clenched into his lip as he muffled the agonized yelp that gnashed at his throat as he finally settled to the mattress. Dark eyes struck him beneath furrowed brows and a shock of onyx; her cheeks were flushed rose in anger, and fingers brushed his own burning cheek as his startled gaze met hers.
"Don't ever speak to Mikoto that way," she demanded. "She saved your life, whether you deserved it or not. You owe her everything. You have no right speak to her like that, ever again. Understood?" His breath shuddered as he panted softly, his whole body seeming to tremble with exhaustion, though his eyes tested the summoner's resolve. "…And don't ever speak to me about my mother." Finally, he let his vision leave hers, instead finding the bright and pleading eyes of his sister.
"You are my brother," the Genome began, timidly but sure. "I saved your life because you gave meaning to the lives of the Genomes. Your rebellion against Garland…you may have done horrible things to this world, but…you also gave the world to us. We would not have had a chance to understand life were it not for your actions." She smiled, though the gesture was not returned.
"…Zidane is safe?" he finally asked.
"…About that…" Mikoto sighed, eyes flickering to the still fuming queen before sitting in the rickety chair near his cot. "When I found you both in the Iifa Tree, you were dying, and Zidane was injured. Do you remember?" Hesitantly, he nodded. "That…was a year ago. And since, Zidane has been in some sort of coma. I have tried a number of remedies – nothing will wake him."
"We think it may be a strong sleeping spell, like the one you cast on me when my Eidolons were extracted," Dagger interjected. "Do you remember casting anything?"
"…No…I only remember hearing the roots," he admitted. "I recall Mikoto finding us, but…the rest escapes me."
"…Rest for now, Kuja," Mikoto said before the queen could question him further. "Perhaps it will come back with time. Until then…he is safe." The blonde turned, and though the queen hesitated, allowing dark eyes to test the Genome's sincerity, Dagger followed her from the hut. "…I know you are anxious for Zidane to awaken," Mikoto began as the door closed behind her, "but…we need to give him time to accept what is being asked of him. Because of Kuja's nature, he was only beginning to understand the depth of emotional connections, and he cannot yet admit his own faults."
"…He's been through a lot," Dagger admitted. "Still…what if he didn't cast the spell over Zidane?"
"I strongly believe that it is magic," she said firmly. "In developing the new black mages, I have learned a lot about magic, and how it is controlled. It is a wild force that can be harnessed but can also be unleashed. It is entirely possible that Kuja did not intend to call magic, but instead his weakened state unleashed it." Dagger studied the blonde curiously – she did have a point; after Alexandria's destruction, her own emotional trauma had caused her to struggle with casting. "Still…either way, both his body and his magic are still weak from the exertion of his Trance. It will take time for him to gain enough strength to help Zidane."
"…I see…" she answered weakly, turning her back to the Genome; over the hill, she could make out the weathered roof of the Chocobo shack. A soft breeze ruffled the long grass beneath the nearby fence; Dagger took in a deep breath, the warm, musky scent of cedar and pine tickling her senses as she closed her eyes.
"…Do not worry, Dagger." Even from behind, she could feel the knowing crystal gaze of the Genome studying her every movement. "I know that Kuja can save him."
*~*~*0*~*~*
"Peace is but a shadow of death…"
Orange light burst over the quiet night, igniting the dark city. A loud and guttural screech echoed and reverberated over senses as the ground trembled and quaked; heat brushed pale flesh and threads of silver danced over his vision as eyes found the Draconic Seedling streaking over the eclipsed moons. The scent reached him, alive with the musk of smoke, of singed flesh and burning homes. Screams tore through the night, shrill and desperate; a figure bolted past him, stripping the fiery cloak from his shoulders and crying out in anguish. A smile touched his lips at the uncanny, yet somehow pleasant sound.
"Desperate to forget its painful past…"
Light burst before his vision; eager eyes could no longer make out the fiery city, the indigo sky or violet traces of moonlight among the clouds. Only brightness, like daytime smothering the night. Finally, it dimmed, dissipated, until it only lingered among angels wings as they enveloped the castle. The King of Dragons challenged them, gnarled wings drifting him closer as another fiery blaze streaked the sky. Powerful, though no match for its foe, and the flare neutralized as it met silken feathers. Wind brushed the city like a sudden storm, though it lacked the discord of impending rain; instead, the gale blanketed the turmoil with serenity as wings fluttered opened.
Finally, eyes drank in the vision, the Holy Guardian as it towered over the castle. The magnificent, devout defender of Alexandria. The glorious Eidolon…
"Though we hope for promising years…"
The Seedling sized the Guardian, and for a moment, stillness ate away at the chaos of the city. And just as quickly, angelic wings glowed, glistening with moonlight, with radiance that glared against his vision until it burst suddenly.
"After shedding a thousand tears…"
The dragon recoiled quickly; a snarl of protest shattered the night tendrils surrounded him, swirling through the air as the dragon fought to escape, flying higher…higher… Like ravenous roots, bloodthirsty and wild. The attempt was futile; light enveloped the Draconic Seedling, and torrent of fire mingled among moonlit clouds. Deafeningly, the Dragon King roared, and the sound drowned out the throaty screams, the cries of babes and devils' spawns as they stole through the city. Fire tore at the sky and ate away at his vision, and a hand shielded his eyes as he forced himself to focus.
"Yesterday's sorrow constantly nears…"
Finally, it faded to nothing around him. The light, the fire, the screams – they were gone, and eyes trembled as he absorbed the sight; the dimension had shifted, no longer the fire-stained kingdom, and the Holy Eidolon no longer towered over him. Instead, he winced away, the unexpected luminance blinding him briefly. A tattered sleeve shielded his vision, and eyes lingered over his form. Ashen flesh was embroidered with scarlet plumage, like phoenix fire that trailed across his body. Feathers, crimson, danced in his vision as again he found the gleaming gemstone – the glorious incandescence of the unmarred Crystal…the origin of everything…within his grasp…
"And while the moon still shines blue…"
Fingers extended, taloned digits hesitating against the warm glow. Closer… They recoiled suddenly, and horrorstruck, crimson eyes quivered as they watched the scene unfold; the radiance dimmed…like an extinguished candle, like the sun, eclipsed, it faded until it hung like the dimmest of lanterns against the night. The pearly quartz surface cracked suddenly, ripples spreading among the surface like broken ice. That sound consumed his mind, the crackling static as shards slipped away, until finally it shattered and crumbled into nothing.
He barely had time to grasp what had happened when the shriek of the ravenous roots tore through his senses, reverberating through his mind, his lungs, his heart – he couldn't breathe! The sound smothered him, only broken by the crash of stone as they ripped through the world around him. He reeled, wildly seeking the source, hoping to dodge it in time. From nowhere, they struck, tendrils streaking over his vision like vipers as they enveloped him. He was suffocating, the world was gone, shattered and crumbling like a broken mirror around him. Vaguely, ears could make out thready breaths and he struggled to locate the source… Finally in the darkness, he could make the form before him, those familiar cerulean eyes, though they were pained and pleading, fair features barely painted against his mind. The sound echoed in his ears, drowning everything else out, save for the slow, shallow, shaky breaths of the blond. Desperate…dying…
But even as he fought to focus on crystal orbs, they shifted and changed, vivid sapphires melting into deep vermillion like the blood that spilled over pale lips.
"By dawn, it will turn to scarlet hue…"
Suddenly, he startled, jolting from his sleep. Pain shot through him, and he winced through heavy breaths. Marine eyes anxiously drank in his surroundings, relieved to find himself in the same cot and the same scanty cabin as when he'd drifted into slumber. Early twilight painted the room in muted hues of grey, just enough to outline the unmade bed across the room. He paused, the familiar shock of blonde absent from the mattress, and quickly eyes flickered around the room.
'…She must be checking on Zidane…' he thought to himself as it finally registered that he was alone. Breaths slowed, and Kuja wiped sweat from his brow as his heart settled. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth dryly, and his eyes felt heavy with his own weariness. Although physically, his body had begun to recover, rest was difficult, plagued with the reminders of his past sins – though Mikoto hadn't seemed to notice.
Kuja yanked the covers from his legs, slowly pulling his boots on over bare feet and fitted grey pants. Mustering his strength, the silver-haired Genome stood, balance faltering slightly as he reached for the purple shawl and wrapped it around his shoulders, straightening his bed-creased tunic. Fingers brushed through his bangs, pushing them away from his gaze. Drunken steps led him to the door, and fresh air filled his senses as the morning wafted over him.
The fresh air…that was the one thing he'd always loved about this world.
He breathed in a deep breath of morning, laced with the fragrance of the forest and dew-glazed grass; so alive, so unlike the chilled stagnant air of Terra. Nearby, a bird chirped among the tree branches, a distant song answering it as wings fluttered among the leaves. The breeze drifted over him, a tuft of silver dancing in his vision. Slender fingers brushed bangs from marine eyes, and distantly they found the sunrise as it peered through the trees, eating away at the muted hues of twilight. They closed, the sunlight lingering among his eyelids, and Kuja sighed.
Another new day…
Slowly, he could feel his body recovering, though the past few days had been more than a struggle. But his steps were more balanced, his limbs more supportive, and the sharp pains had dulled to achy throbs as he stepped out of the doorway. He'd felt like a prisoner in that cottage, cooped up in agony with Mikoto fussing over him…it was maddening. A hellish prison… Slow, deliberate steps took him closer to the shack in the distance, until he finally reached the nearby fence. Kuja hesitated.
The last time he'd seen the blond rogue…
"…I'm useless to this world…"
"No one's useless," the blond retorted quickly. "You helped us escape, remember?" He fell quiet a moment, considering the Genome's reply: …was one good deed truly enough to redeem him in the eyes of his successor?
"After you guys beat me, I had nothing left…nothing more to lose…" his voice trailed, and he blinked back bitterness as it stung his eyes. "Then…I finally realized what it means to live." His breath hitched and wheezed, the motion becoming more strained and taxing. The world around him – the Iifa Tree, the blond…it all began to blur and darken. "…I guess I was too late…" His body felt heavy, his consciousness wavering. Beside him, he could make out the faint sounds of the Genome stirring, his voice yelling something…
But the sound was drowned by the shrieks of the tree as it came to life. Walls shattered and crumbled as they were surrounded, he felt the blond lean over him…protect him…
Eyes opened, and with the last of his strength, he summoned magic to his fingertips. The roots came from every direction, ramming the shield, and he felt an agonized cry escape his lips as the feeling reverberated against his senses. But he fought to hold it, knew he had to…just…a moment longer…
A screech tore itself from the rogue's throat as the roots began to penetrate the weakened magic, and marine eyes found the injured blond, still draped over him, protecting him. The roots impaled him, grabbed at him, and Kuja could feel the other's blood on bare skin. The blond swore, fingers prying at the root, skin and clothing suddenly turning grey, stiffening. Wide eyes met his as the Genome understood, pleading for the mage to do something – anything!
'Please…' he begged his magic, as the roots gave one last thrash, and he felt the power explode from him, deflecting the last surge of life within them. Again, hazy eyes found the blond, his neck, shoulder, and chest already encased, the petrification slowly spreading…limp and lifeless, eyes closed and peaceful… 'Zidane…' he managed, but he silver-haired Genome realized that, he, too, was fading fast, and his moments were limited. The shrieks of the roots died, the dust settled against his senses as the world faded, too…
Kuja tore his mind away, turning quickly away from the shack. The sudden motion continued after his body stopped, the world spinning and his mind reeling; vaguely, his hand groped for the railing, waiting for the vertigo spell to pass. Finally, the leaves and trees and cottages settled, once again becoming the quiet village that held him captive; confident he could stand upright on his own, Kuja straightened himself, wincing as he followed the path back down into the village.
*~*~*0*~*~*
The sun broke through the window, casting a warm light into the mess hall. They had seen the Regent and his crew off at sunrise, having completed his repairs to The Rogue's Dagger. Still a bit heavy-eyed but to awake to go back to rest, they'd returned to the mess hall for some morning nourishment. Sumaru was busy telling his brothers about the foreign world of Terra, and while the small mages seemed to be on-edge with the story, it was relatively uneventful. Between descriptions of the artificial lands below and the death-defying escape of the air ship, they took quick bites and dove back into the conversation. Dagger gave a soft smile to herself; he was so much like Vivi…sometimes, she could see him in the glowing orbs beneath the brim of a floppy mage hat, smiling back at her. Swallowing quickly, Steiner chimed in, throwing in his own recount of the events of Pandemonium; as expected, the story became an epic, if over-embellished tale which kept all of them intrigued, abandoning their half-eaten breakfast. Beside her, Eiko chattered happily, munching away and talking with a mouthful, and vaguely Dagger realized that the white mage was probably talking to her and that she ought to be listening.
Something settled over Dagger, though she wasn't quite sure how to explain it. Satisfaction? No…she wouldn't feel fully content until the blond rogue joined in with their conversation, sharing his own stories recounting their adventure. Relief…? Maybe…Kuja was awake, recovering…he'd be able to reverse the effects as soon as his body gained enough strength. But, while pieces were missing, something felt real, something felt like everything was the way it should be. Nostalgia, she realized finally, shaking herself free and taking a large bite of her eggs.
"Dagger…?" a voice called quietly from behind her, and Dagger whirled mid-bite. Vivid blue eyes met hers beneath a shock of sandy locks, and immediately, the queen knew something wasn't right. Vaguely, she realized the group's chatter had fallen away, likely that they realized the same thing. "M-might I…speak with you a moment?"
"Of course…" she replied, voice trailing as she let her fork rest against the stone plate. She approached the Genome with furrowed brows, eyes questioning and searching for some resolution among youthful features.
"…Have…have you seen him?" Mikoto asked in a hushed tone as she glanced to the table to ensure no one had heard her query.
"Zidane?" Dagger asked, heart leaping.
"No…." her voice trailed, and the Genome swallowed as her eyes sank to her feet. "…Kuja…"
"He's gone?!" the queen hissed, and reflexively, Mikoto flinched away like a beaten animal.
"I went to check on Zidane early this morning, and when I returned to my cabin…" Cerulean flickered to meet smoky quartz before falling back to the floor. She shook her head. "I don't know where he would have gone – I thought maybe he came by here to get some food… I asked the mages on my way here, but…they haven't seen him."
"Mikoto…" Dagger began, like a mother scolding a child before letting her voice trail. She sighed, and blue eyes glanced back to hers. "How long has he been missing?"
"I-I'm not sure," she answered quietly. "I left at daybreak to check on Zidane as I always do. I was there…maybe an hour? When I returned…I've been looking for him for at least twenty minutes…I don't know where he would have gone…!"
"…Do you think he left?" Dagger asked; wide eyes beseeched the summoner, and she realized that the Genome must have considered that possibility. "Okay, we'll search the village and the forest."
"R-right…" she answered, feigning confidence.
"Don't worry…he couldn't have gotten far." Dagger offered a reassuring smile, though she was certain that the gesture fell flat given the situation. Quickly, she turned, all eyes meeting hers. "We need to find Kuja. He –"
"He's missing?!" Eiko squealed, and the group seemed equally riled.
"Yes…not for long though," Dagger replied, ignoring their initial shock.
"…Do you think it was intentional?" Freya asked flatly, emerald eyes falling to the Genome.
"I am not sure," she answered. "I know he has felt trapped, so I believe he might have just gone to get some fresh air."
"Do you believe he's left?" the Dragon Knight inquired, and Mikoto frowned.
"If you're suggesting that he's abandoned Zidane, I really doubt –"
"We don't know why he's wandered off," Dagger interjected, dark eyes meeting the Burmecian's gaze with disapproval. "It could be nothing. We should split up to cover more ground – Freya, Steiner, Blank, Eiko…will you search the woods outside of the village?" They nodded obediently, standing from the table. "In his condition, if he did leave, he couldn't have gotten far," she added. "Mikoto, Sumaru, and I will ask around the village and see if anyone else has seen him this morning."
The group dispersed, the bulk of them heading up towards the woods while Dagger, Sumaru, and Mikoto stayed behind outside the mess hall.
"…There is a place I like to venture when I need to clear my head, just past the field," Mikoto said. "Perhaps I will check for him there."
"Right," Dagger agreed, and the Genome filed out. "Sumaru, why don't you talk to the innkeeper and the mages at the synthesis shop? I can head down to the other shops and towards the other side of the village. We can meet back here."
"O-okay," he nodded, following her out. Dagger sighed to herself; she wanted to believe that it was nothing…but if their former nemesis had truly sought to abandon Zidane after everything… Bitter heat nipped at her eyes, and Dagger blinked the tears back, swallowing against the lump that seemed to be lodged in her throat.
'…Let's not worry until we need to…'
*~*~*0*~*~*
'Even in the warmth of the morning sun, this place seems…' his mind trailed as fingers brushed the tall grass and wildflowers; they danced in the crisp breeze, fresh and fragrant, mingling among staves of the long-since departed. '…cold…' he finally decided, finally sitting atop the large stump beside the cemetery. Though brightened by the dawn-colored flowers, it had been some time since the graves had been pruned and groomed; yet still, the ragged stick-mage still stood watch over the hallowed ground and grave markers. While bearing some similarity, each one was different – one appeared as nothing more than an ordinary gnarled and knotted cane, atop another rested a large nautilus shell, and perched near the front, an ornate and delicately crafted golden staff. Each one…different.
The silver-haired Genome sighed; like him, the mages had been puppets – created for nothing but war. Souls had been lost, families torn, lives shredded at his hands… 'Mercy is weakness,' he'd once said. And he had used them, too – the soulless golems, created from the dregs of souls, to unleash his own plans… And yet…so unlike him…they had learned to feel – to value existence, life…the beauty and the darkness. Marine eyes sank closed against the sunrise that painted the sky in hues of gold and cerise against the nearly faded blue twilight. Nearby, water glided over stones in a gentle trickle, the ambient sound only accompanied by the leaves shuddering against an eastern breeze. Peaceful…so very fitting for the lifeless dolls beneath the overgrown soil.
'…And yet…those dolls have known life more than I…' His thoughts trailed; though lifeless now, those dolls had once fought against their purpose – had sought a life with meaning. They had lived – friends, happiness – all the things that Zidane had held dear, too. …The things he had sought to destroy… What was it about those things that brought meaning to one's existence?
"…Mikoto has been worried about you…" the timid voice stirred him from his thoughts, and startled, he stood quickly from his perch by the cemetery. Briefly, the world staggered at the sudden movement, though protesting much less than before. Marine eyes studied the mage before him, the crumpled denim coat and plaid pants, worn leather gloves, and bright golden eyes that fixed over him beneath the brim of a floppy mages' hat. A friend of Zidane's, though Kuja hadn't bothered to learn the rouge prototype's name. Trembling hands adjusted the oversized hat, his eyes only sinking for a moment before finding the silver-haired Genome once more.
"…I wasn't planning to abandon him, if that's what you thought," Kuja retorted curtly, turning away as slender fingers brushed threads of silver from his eyes.
"I-I didn't," the mage answered quickly, shaking his head. "Um…I-I just…" When his voice trailed, Kuja peered over his shoulder; wide eyes fixed on his, and though they were nervous, they also seemed to be alive with awe. Finally, brows furrowed, and he turned away.
"I already know what you think of me," Kuja finally spat; after all, the mage had expressed his unbridled hatred of the Genome in Mount Gulug, after learning how he'd so easily manipulated the black mages. "…Just say it…" he added.
"I-I…um…" Words seemed trapped in the mage's throat, and Kuja gave a half-hearted chuckle at his inability to articulate anything. "…Thank you…"
Kuja whirled suddenly, brows furrowed as livid eyes found the bright orbs beneath the steepled hat's brim, but the Genome hesitated; those eyes…his gaze was sincere, warm… Kuja studied those eyes, drinking in the emotion, the life they held, the life they'd seen… Sorrow…love…hatred… But after everything…
"M-Mikoto told us…you created the black mages," he continued, eyes sinking to watch his hands play with loose strings in his gloves, pulling and picking as he spoke. "And…I know…we were created for the wrong reason, that…we were weapons of war… But…even so…I…I-I wouldn't exist if it weren't for you…" Kuja studied the mage as he hesitated, judged the sincerity of his words…finally, moon-like eyes met his again, warm and alive. "I-I just…wanted to say thank you." He paused, eyes beaming at the Genome, waiting for a response like a hopeful child. Kuja blinked, uncertainty settled over him, and his puzzled gaze considered the mage. Was this what it meant…to find meaning, to value existence? Finally, Kuja looked away, eyes absently locating the elegant staff, ornately crafted wood plated with gold…a grave-marker, he realized…
His eyes lost focus somewhere between silken tresses and the glittering rod, and he frowned; then this wasn't the rogue prototype that Zidane had carted around the globe, and it wasn't forgiveness that lingered over the mage's words. What then – gratitude? Even knowing the reason of his origins, that the mages were created as mindless instruments of war…? Kuja shook his head, brows furrowing as marine eyes found the ground near his feet; why would the mage feel this way?
"I-I'll let her know you're okay, and that you'll meet her back at the cabin…when you're ready." Footsteps signaled the young mage's departure, and vaguely Kuja found support on the nearby stump.
The mages had learned to feel – to value existence, life…the beauty and the darkness. Mindless dolls had found a life with meaning – with friends and happiness and…all the things that Zidane had held dear, too. But how? Why? What allowed beings, no different than the empty vessels of Terra, to find those emotional bonds? What about those bonds gave meaning to their existence…? He grappled with the thought, mind drifting back to the helplessness that had settled over him after his defeat at the Crystal; that emotion... The memories… Friends, family, life, significance…it was all connected somehow… Yet, somehow, he still didn't understand.
…Perhaps he never would.