Chapter 8: changing
"Okay, so I think our kid should have your eyes but my skin, what do you think?"
Miranda sat in front of her computer, typing away while their "baby" stood beside her feet in the car seat.
"Miranda, should I straighten my hair?" asked Gordo laying across Miranda's bed with hands behind his head and legs crossed.
Miranda stopped typing and turned around in the chair.
"Did I hear you correctly?" Miranda asked.
"Should I straighten my hair?" he repeated.
"I guess I did hear you correctly."
She turned back around and continued typing. "Why do you want to straighten your hair?"
Gordo untucked his hands from his head and rested them on his stomach. "For a change, you know?"
"But I love your curly hair," said Miranda, facing the computer again. "I've always known you like that."
"That's the point," Gordo said. "I've looked the same my whole life. I want a change."
Miranda turned around again. "Are you trying to impress someone?"
"What makes you think that?" Gordo sat up crisscrossed.
"Why else would you want to straighten your hair?"
"For fun."
"Okay whatever," Miranda said. "Do you maybe want to help with our assignment?"
"We just got the assignment what's the rush?"
Miranda rolled over to Gordo in her chair. She stopped when she reached the edge of the mattress. "Something is seriously wrong with you Gordo. You love starting assignments early. One time you asked Mr. Banner for next month's homework."
Gordo lay back on the bed and regained his position. "People change."
"But not whole different personalities," Miranda told him.
Gordo rolled his eyes. "Should I straighten my hair or not?"
Miranda wheeled back to the desk. "I don't care, it doesn't matter to me."
Gordo puffed his cheeks and blew out air. He didn't know why he had to ask Miranda for approval on what he did with his hair, but ever since he could remember, making Miranda proud of him felt like winning the giant stuffed animal at the fair. But the reason he wanted to straighten his hair had nothing to do with Miranda. His intentions were crystal clear in his mind, but not something he'd want to admit.
"Could you teach me?" he asked Miranda.
Miranda had exited the typing software. "With what?"
"Straightening my hair," Gordo answered
Miranda got up and opened a drawer from her dresser. She dug around and then pulled out the hair straightener. "Fine, since you won't let it go, I'll show you."
Gordo sat back up with a thankful smile.
"Come here," Miranda said, motioning Gordo to stand in front of the mirror beside her closet.
Gordo did as she said, standing beside her where they both appeared in the mirror.
"So you wait for the iron to heat up," Miranda explained.
"Self-explanatory." Gordo eyed Miranda through the mirror with a conceited grin.
"I'm just walking you through it," said Miranda.
"Sorry. Continue."
"Okay after it's heated, all you do is grab a section of hair like this."
Between her thumb and pointer finger, Miranda picked out a clump of his curly hair. "Then you put it between the iron and pressed down and pull it till the hair is flat."
"I could have figured that out myself," Gordo realized.
"Hey, you're the one who asked me."
Gordo smiled at her reflection. "Thanks."
"No problem." Miranda smiled back. "Now can we work on our project?"
"Sure why not."
Gordo spent two hours at Miranda's house but only fifteen minutes was spent on the project. While their "baby" stayed in the car seat, Miranda and Gordo watched TV, played cards, surfed the web, and was just plain lazy. They lost track of the time and soon the sun faded and the sky turned black.
"I should go now," Gordo said, lying next to Miranda on her purple fuzzy carpet; The top of their heads touched.
"Can you stay for dinner?" Miranda asked, hopeful.
"I can't. My mom's making this fancy dinner that her mom used to make when she was little and it's really important to her."
"Next Friday we're cooking an authentic Mexican meal and my Abuela and Abuelo are coming over. You should come for that."
Gordo bent his neck back, trying to look at Miranda's face. "That sounds fun. I'll come."
"Cool, I can't wait." Miranda stood from the floor and Gordo followed. They stood by her bedroom door.
"Miranda, could I uh, borrow your straightener?" Gordo asked, his eyes shifting.
"Of course." Miranda grabbed the iron and handed it to Gordo.
"Thank you and one more thing. Do you have a jean jacket I can borrow?"
Miranda lifted her brows. "You want to wear one of my jackets?"
Gordo just nodded, feeling a rush of heat steaming his cheeks.
Now that Gordo had the tool to straighten his hair and a hip jacket to wear to school, Gordo felt like he'd finished a mission.
"Thanks, Miranda you're a lifesaver!"
"You're welcome... I guess."
"See you tomorrow." Gordo turned around and stepped out the doorway.
"Gordo?" Miranda stopped him.
"Yes?" He faced her again.
"I had a lot of fun today," Miranda told him. Her voice got soft and delicate.
Gordo curved one corner of his mouth upwards in a closed smile. "Me too."
He made the distance between them small and wrapped his arms around her back and Miranda did the same. They squeezed each other tight and Gordo realized that might of been one of their first real hugs. His nose breathed in a scent of lavender.
"Oh, I forgot." Miranda pulled back and raced to the car seat. "Do you want to take the baby home?"
Gordo took the car seat from Miranda's grasp. "Are you sure you trust me with her?"
"Shut up and just go home already," teased Miranda.
"Okay, okay. Bye. For real."
The second Gordo walked out of the Sanchez's home, thoughts of Miranda and the thrill they had skipping school evaporated from his mind. With a cool jean jacket and straight, flowy hair, Gordo was confident it would catch a certain someone's attention.
Gordo stomped his sneakers on the concrete and sprinted down the sidewalk. His backpack sling to one shoulder and his plaid button-up flew behind him like a cape. He could see the bus stop sign just a few feet away and in the distance, he saw yellow that gradually became bigger. With his last strength, Gordo pumped his legs and tore down the sidewalk. The moment he made it to the bus stop, the school bus slowed and stopped. Gordo saw Miranda sitting in the back through the window and they exchanged smiles.
The doors swung open up and Gordo walked up the steps. He made his way to the back of the bus to where Miranda was sitting. As he sat down, she looked up at him with spacious eyes; The bus geared back in motion.
"What?" Gordo asked nervously.
"Your hair," she pointed out.
Gordo tried looking at himself in the driver's front mirror. "Why is it bad?"
He smoothed his hair on the sides.
Miranda gazed at the side of his face and a grin formed on her lips. "No," she insisted. "It looks good."
Gordo froze before he faced her. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"I'm serious Gordo. I was wrong before. You look cu— I mean good with straight hair."
"Thanks. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," teased Gordo.
"Shut up. It is not. I've said many nice things about you."
"Then name one." Gordo had the pleasure of waiting for Miranda to think of something. He could see the struggle on her face.
"You know I can't think of one on the spot. I don't have a good memory like you."
Gordo crossed his arms and grinned smugly. "I guess you proved my point then."
"You have a nice smile," Miranda said.
"When did you say that?" Gordo asked.
"Right now."
Gordo turned his head to look straight ahead. He smiled to himself as Miranda's words replayed over and over in his head.
"Thanks," Gordo said, smiling.
"See, I told you I can say nice things to you," Miranda defended.
Gordo chuckled. "Sorry I underestimate you, Miranda."
"It's okay I forgive you," said Miranda.
But Gordo wasn't listening. He looked around the bus and the students.
"Where's Lizzie?" he asked Miranda.
She leaned back and looked out the bus window. "Carpooling with Zack."
Gordo sighed. "Should have known," he muttered.
After five minutes of silence, Gordo asked, "Do you think Lizzie will like my hair?"
"Maybe. I have no clue." Miranda aggressively flicked a fuzzball off her jacket. She turned away and stared out the window again watching the trees and houses become a blur.
Gordo got the sense that Miranda didn't want to continue their conversation, so he stayed silent till they arrived at school. Gordo and Miranda walked off the bus together, shoulders squished up against each other. As they walked inside Hillridge and to their lockers, Gordo felt a warm and safe presence surrounding him by just standing next to Miranda. Almost as if she was a shield and could deflect any harm that came his way. Weird. Gordo thought.
Gordo twisted the knob of his lock, but it was like the combination had been erased from his brain. Gordo paused and tried to remember the numbers. He turned the knob again but blanked. He rattled the lock against the locker.
"You look good in my jacket," said Miranda out of nowhere.
Suddenly Gordo remembered the combination. "Number three," he said as he opened his locker.
"What?" Miranda grabbed her history book.
"That's complement number three," Gordo said.
"Oh, so you're keeping tally now?" Miranda hugged the book against her chest.
"For later reference. Just in case."
"You're weird Gordo. Have I ever told you that?"
Miranda and Gordo started walking to their first class.
"Yes, a thousand times."
"Maybe I should stop," Miranda said.
"That would be nice."
Gordo and Miranda reached Mr. Padilla's history class when Miranda remembered something.
"You brought our child right?" Miranda asked in a panic.
Gordo slipped his backpack off and began to unzip. "Yup she's right here."
Miranda widened her eyes as Gordo pulled the baby doll out of the bag by the legs.
"Gordo! You can't just shove our baby in a backpack," Miranda said.
"Relax, it's not even real."
"Yes but we're supposed to treat it as if it were real. Miss Stevens will dock points if she sees us neglecting our child."
"Sorry. I'll do better," Gordo said now cradling their baby in his arms.
Miranda nodded as she walked into history class followed by Gordo and their baby.
"Oh by the way," Miranda said to him as she slipped into the desk next to his. "Miss Stevens wants us to pick a name for our baby by the name and end of the school day."
"I didn't know we had to name it," said Gordo. He held the doll with his arms resting on the desk.
"Her," Miranda corrected. "Weren't you there when she announced the project and explained the details?"
Oh. Right. That. Gordo's mind was preoccupied with his being partners with Lizzie's" panic to hear all of Miss Stevens's instructions.
"You can pick a name," Gordo said. "I don't care."
He bent down beside his chair and opened his backpack with one hand as the baby stayed in his arms.
"No suggestions?" Miranda asked as Gordo placed his binder on his desk and opened it.
"Nope." Gordo took more supplies out of his backpack acting as if the baby wasn't in his arms.
"What about Selena?" Miranda suggested.
Gordo looked at Miranda as if it was the most obscure name he'd ever heard.
"You know, like Selena Quintanilla?" Miranda said as if it should've blatantly obvious.
Gordo scrunched his brows. "Who's that?"
"Hello, one of the greatest Tejano singers of all time."
"Never heard of her."
Miranda gaped her mouth open but Gordo didn't react. "You've never heard of Selena— you know what, never mind. I'm telling Miss Stevens that's our baby's name."
"Fine by me," said Gordo.
"Alright class, open your books to page 80," said their history teacher Mr. Padilla.
After history class, Gordo and Miranda shared science with Lizzie. They always met up at her locker before the bell rang. It was Miranda's turn to hold baby "Selena" as they walked down the halls to Lizzie's locker. When Miranda saw her with Ethan and their baby boy, she smiled and called out her best friend's name happily.
"Lizzie, Ethan, meet our baby girl Selena," Miranda told them with a beaming proud smile. Lizzie held her and Ethan's baby boy as she stood next to Ethan.
"This is Aaron," Lizzie said while Ethan just nodded along.
"Let me guess," Gordo started, now fully able to look Lizzie in the eyes ever since Friday night. "After Aaron Carter right?"
"Who else?" she said.
Miranda giggled before she turned to Gordo. "I'm gonna tell Miss Stevens we picked a name for our baby since her classroom is right over there." She gestured at the door across the lockers.
"Yo Lizzie, I gotta go too. I promised Kate I'd meet up with her," Ethan said in his swag-ish tone.
With Miranda and Ethan gone, Gordo stood alone with Lizzie. It was his first time being alone with her since he consoled her in the library after the Ronny breakup.
"Gordo? What on earth did you do to your hair?" Lizzie asked with a smile.
"I tried straightening it this morning. Do you like it?" Gordo asked hopefully.
Lizzie started to chuckled which drained the emotion right out of Gordo's face.
"Curly hair looks better on you."
"But what about Zack? He has long straight hair," Gordo pointed. It was his first time confronting Lizzie about Zack. He promised he wouldn't, but it slipped out. He planned to change his style similar to Zack's, but it wasn't working.
"It works on him," Lizzie said. "Just not you." She looked down at the doll cradled in her arms. Her eyes were full of glow and love as if it were her child and a real one at that.
Gordo stared at the floor. A watermelon size pit growing in his stomach. He felt heavy and weighed down. He literally wanted to crumple to the ground.
"Oh," was all he could get out of his mouth. He wanted to run in the other direction and out of school, but before he could move his feet, Miranda came out of Miss Stevens's classroom.
"It's official," she said. "Her name is Selena."
"That's such an adorable name," Lizzie cooed.
"Right?" said Miranda. "So are you excited for ballroom dancing in gym class today?"
Wait that's today? Gordo thought.
"Totally! Now that I no longer have to obsess over being Ethan's partner."
"Ooh, that's right! You can dance with Zack!" Miranda squealed.
Gordo covered his mouth with the bend of his elbow and cleared his throat.
"We should get to class," Miranda told Lizzie after she looked back at Gordo.
Half of the students in the gym were taking Miss Stevens health class and were participating in the baby assignment, including Gordo. Through the entirety of science, Miranda held Selena but she passed the baby on to Gordo after class ended.
"Where's Aaron?" Miranda asked when she noticed Lizzie wasn't holding her and Ethan's baby when they walked into the gym.
Gordo stood beside Miranda as he looked around the gym at all the students in their PE uniform of a blue t-shirt and grey sweatpants or shorts.
"Where's everyone's baby?" Gordo wondered.
"Don't you remember?" Lizzie said. "We have to drop our kids off in daycare when we have PE."
"Where's daycare?" Gordo asked.
"Homeroom," Lizzie said.
Miranda turned to Gordo. "Do you have the car seat?"
"Care seat? I thought you had it?" said Gordo.
"I gave it to you to take home along with the baby, yesterday," Miranda said, her voice getting stressed.
Gordo smacked his forehead. "Shoot, I think I left it at home."
"You guys need to find someone to hold her or else you'll get docked points," Lizzie pointed out.
"Who do we know that can hold her?" Miranda asked.
"Tudgmen?" Gordo suggested.
Miranda squished her face up as if she'd sucked on a lemon. "Ew no, I'm not letting Larry Tudgmen hold Selena."
"We don't have much of a choice," said Gordo. "We can't hold her and ballroom dance at the same time."
"Fine," Miranda gave in. "Larry can hold her. But she better not end up with any boogers on her."
Every semester Coach Kelly made her PE students participate in a dance course of some kind. Last year it was square dancing. Now it was ballroom dancing. Gordo dreaded the dance unit because it was just another opportunity for Lizzie and Miranda to fight over who got to be Ethan's partner. As per usual, Kate beat them to it so one of them paired up with Gordo and the other was left to find someone else. Last year Gordo and Miranda were partners while Lizzie was with Larry. Being Miranda's wasn't awful; It was much better than dancing with a girl he barely knew.
But this semester was a whole new kind of dread, now that Lizzie had a built-in partner in Zack. Seeing the two talk and flirt made his insides tighten, but seeing them dance with his arm around her waist could be enough to make his blood boil.
"Everyone partner up!" Coach Kelly hollered with a thundering clap.
Gordo nudged Miranda's side with his elbow. "You ready partner?"
Miranda crossed her arms and snorted. "You know just because we're fake parents, doesn't mean we have to be dance partners."
"Well no," Gordo said. Then his mouth formed a smile. "But I want to."
Miranda dropped her arms and straightened her back. Her face lit up like the sun that shined across the gym floor. "You do?"
Gordo just smiled at Miranda as he pulled her to the middle of the gym.
"Boys, I want you to put your right hand on your partner's waist. Make it delicate," Coach Kelly instructed.
Gordo watched his peers follow Coach Kelly's instructions and soon he was the last boy to have a hand on a waist.
"What are you waiting for?" said Miranda.
Gordo felt like all eyes were on them even though he wasn't looking at anyone but Miranda. He'd done this before; Last year in their first ballroom unit. He had no trouble grabbing Miranda's and hand touching her waist, but this time, it scared him. The moment he'd grabbed the side of her waist, he imagined a spotlight would appear on the two of them and the entire class would stare.
Coach Kelly's piercing whistling blow shook Gordo up and nearly made him fall backward. "Gordon! Hand on Sanchez's waist!"
Gordo nodded once he regained his balance. He looked behind him and saw Zack tickle Lizzie's side and she broke out in a fit of giggles.
"Gordo?" Miranda snapped.
Gordo whipped his head back towards Miranda. He swallowed a lump in his throat and lifted his arm. To ease the awkwardness, Gordo just went for it and placed his palm on Miranda's blue shirt; his fingers felt the wrinkles and folds. Her body felt warm and cozy. But it felt forbidden to be holding her waist and it was like all of a sudden, his eyes were broken and he couldn't look in Miranda's eyes anymore.
"Now ladies! Grabbed your partner's other hand and make an L shape with your arms," Coach Kelly added.
In a mere thirty seconds, Coach Kelly got everyone in position and started playing the music. Strings and piano filled the gymnasium as students attempted to waltz around the room. Sneakers collided with other sneakers and a few ankles were stepped on.
"This is kind of fun," Miranda said to Gordo before he guided her into a graceful spin.
"Isn't Lizzie supposed to be with Ethan?" Gordo's eyebrows disappeared down his forehead. He took another glance at Zack and Lizzie when he and Miranda passed them.
Miranda looked down at their feet, trying not to step on his toes. "She's only his partner in health class."
"I know but Zack's with Kate."
"For the baby project Gordo. It's PE. Lizzie can pair up with whoever she wants."
Gordo kept his eyes on Zack and Lizzie who were such pros at dancing that Coach Kelly started taking pictures of them and taking notes.
"Gordo? Would you focus please?" Miranda demanded.
Miranda's words soared over Gordo's head out the gymnasium doors. His eyes stayed targeted on the star ballroom couple.
"Gordo?" Miranda snapped again.
Gordo's felt a weight under his shoe and his legs stopped moving.
"Ouch!" Miranda screamed. "Gordo, you stepped on my foot."
Gordo saw the aftermath and the guilt set in. "Sorry, Miranda. I'll do better."
"How about you stop staring at Lizzie and Zack and focus?"
Miranda started to sound like his mother. In the last five minutes, she'd become the bossiest and annoyed she'd ever been with him and to not tip her off anymore, Gordo shut up and focused on dancing with Miranda.
When PE was over, Gordo was back in Miranda's Jean jacket, which he realized Lizzie had never pointed out or noticed. In a small mirror he'd swiped from Miranda's desk in her room, he inspected his reflection. He brushed down the sides of his straightened hair and moved strands of hair away from his eyes.
One more try Gordo. You got this.
Gordo adjusted the collar of the jean jacket and confidently walked down the halls in search of Lizzie. He caught her at the perfect moment by the water fountain just as he saw Zack walk away.
"Hey Lizzie," Gordo said.
Lizzie swallowed a gulp of water from the fountain before she faced him. "Wow, Gordo you're actually talking to me now. You've spoken more than three sentences to me."
"You're my best friend Lizzie, I could never stop talking to you."
"That's good to hear. I was getting worried."
Lizzie and Gordo started walking down the hallway together.
"Hey is that Miranda's jacket?" Lizzie asked.
Gordo couldn't tell whether her smile meant she was being polite or making fun of him.
"Yeah, she let me borrow it. Do you like it?" He looked at her for approval.
"No."
All emotion drained from Gordo's face.
"I mean, yes on Miranda. But on you, no."
Lizzie was a few feet ahead of him so he took that as an opportunity to escape. He bolted for the nearest doors and ran out. He looked around for the safest place to hide and he chose behind the school.
Gordo turned the corner of the brick wall and ripped off Miranda's Jean jacket and threw it to the ground. It landed on a pile of mud.
"You look like you need help."
Gordo followed the voice with his eyes and saw Ethan casually leaning against the brick wall with arms crossed and something between his teeth.
"What do you mean?" Gordo wondered.
"You need to relax," Ethan clarified with a muffled tone because of what was wedged between his teeth.
"Look, I've never understood you Ethan, and I don't think I'll ever will." Gordo shook his head and bent down to pick up the dirty jacket.
"Here," Ethan said. "Try this." Ethan picked what was in between his teeth and showed it to Gordo.
"A piece of rolled-up paper," Gordo said, shooting sarcasm. "How exciting."
"No dummy, a joint."
Gordo raised his brows. "Where did you get that?"
"Never mind that," Ethan said. "You need to relax and this can help you."
Any other circumstance Gordo would flat out refuse and roll his eyes at Ethan. But for once in his life, Gordo wanted to be spontaneous and do something without strategic thinking. He wanted to continue doing what Miranda had always urged him to do. He wanted to live a little. He needed to live a little.
Gordo reached out for Ethan to pass the joint to him and then Ethan pulled out one of his own from his back pocket. Gordo watched Ethan light it and pop it in his mouth. He followed and leaned back against the brick wall nonchalantly. Gordo stuck out the joint so Ethan could light it for him. He took a puff and for once he felt free.