I summon Marlene and Alice into the dormroom directly after Hogsmeade for an emergency meeting.

"Okay," I start. "If I tell you what I'm about to tell you, will you promise not to tell a single soul?"

Marlene rolls her eyes. "Not this again."

But Alice nods determinedly. "Yes, ma'am," she says, saluting.

"Not even-"

"Not even James, or Sirius, or especially Dorcas," Alice finishes for me. "I know the drill."

I sigh. "Good. Alright. No making fun of me, okay?"

The two girls stare at me expectantly. I open my mouth.

...And nothing comes out.

I can't tell them. I just can't. This whole thing is humiliating. They'll judge me for the rest of our lives.

"Lily?" Alice asks. "Helloooo, Earth to Evans."

"Merlin, just spit it out," Marlene demands. She's obviously still upset about having to spend the whole day with Peter.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "TheremightbeachancethatImighthaveatinycrushonjamespotter," I blurt out.

They stare at me blankly. "Huh?" Alice asks. "Was that English?"

I take a breath. "There might," I repeat, "be a chance… that I might have a tiny crush on James Potter."

In an instant, Marlene is on her feet. "I BLOODY KNEW IT! YOU DENIED IT, BUT I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!"

"Marlene, shush!" I hiss. "He's right downstairs! He might hear you!" I then turn to Alice, who's now jumping on the bed like a loon. "Everybody calm down! It is not that big of a deal!" I don't even need a mirror to tell that my face is red-hot.

"Are you kidding me, Lily?" Alice squeals. "It is a huge deal! You must tell us everything! When did you start fancying him? What changed? Does he know? Are you going to tell him?"

I take a deep breath. I knew I was going to be interrogated. Luckily, I came prepared. "I think- I think it was after the kiss. When he said he didn't remember it happening, I just… I don't know, it kind of made me sad. And no, he doesn't know," I continue with a warning look in my eye, "and he's not going to know. I'm not going to tell him."

Marlene is extremely disappointed at this. "Why not?" she complains.

My mouth drops open. "What do you mean why not? I don't know what world you're living in, McKinnon, but in my world, we don't typically tell the boys we fancy that we fancy them."

"Frank told me that he fancied me," Alice says dreamily. Marlene rolls her eyes.

"Lily, you're acting like we're in primary school. We're eighteen. And James isn't just some random bloke you've just met - you two have history. Not to mention the fact that he's totally husband material. So, if you ask me, I think you should tell him."

I try not to gag at Marlene's words. "Husband material? Really, Marlene, it's not like we're going to get married. That's ridiculous." I'm already regretting my decision to tell the girls.

"No, I agree with Marlene, Lily," Alice adds on. "He deserves to know, after all you've put him through."

After all I've put him through? Merlin, I rejected the boy a few times. So what? Every boy needs to go through rejection! It builds character!

"But he doesn't even fancy me anymore," I tell them. "So it doesn't even matter."

Marlene and Alice look at each other, smiles on their faces.

"What?" I ask as they begin to giggle. "What?"

"It's just-" Alice starts. "It's just- it's just that you can be so oblivious sometimes, Lily!"

Oh, God.

"What do you mean oblivious?" I ask angrily. "He doesn't fancy me! He told me himself, at the beginning of the year!"

"Right, Lily," Marlene scoffs. "You didn't actually believe him, did you?"

My brain flashes back to what James said that night when he was drunk. 'I had to lie, or else you never would have put up with me.'

"There's still no proof," I argue. Marlene is flabbergasted.

"Lily!" she exclaims. "Anyone with eyes can see that he's absolutely whipped for you! I mean, the boy bloody kissed you! How is that not proof enough?"

"He was drunk!" I yell back. "Everybody knows that drunk kisses don't count!"

"You're lying to yourself, Lily!" Marlene yells back. We seem to be in a shouting match now. "You're lying to yourself because you want to keep living in this prim, perfect little world where you and James are best friends and you live out the rest of your lives in platonic bliss! You're scared of opening up to him, admit it!"

My jaw drops open. Marlene is totally right, but I really don't need her knowing that.

"Even if I were to tell him," I counter, "I don't even know what I'd say. I mean, really, how do you go about bringing up that subject?"

Alice ponders this thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, when Frank told me how he felt, I believe his exact words were 'Alice O'Neil, sometimes you make me want to slam you up against a wall and snog you 'til you go blind'. So you could always tell him that."

Marlene is laughing so hard. I want to slap her.

"I'm absolutely not using Frank's words," I say, trying to push the image of nerdy Frank Longbottom slamming our gorgeous Alice up against a wall out of my mind.

"Suit yourself. It worked for us."

In the end, I decide Marlene and Alice are absolutely out of their minds. I am not going to talk to James Potter about anything even remotely related to my newfound feelings for him. End. Of. Story.