She reached for the nightstand, tapping her ashes carefully into the receptacle he'd procured. The fancy glass sculpture looked more like an art piece than an ashtray - she couldn't be certain it was not - and had been washed since her last visit, just like last time. Were it not so damn pretentious, she would feel bad for using it.
And she would have felt bad for the smoke escaping his bedroom slowly through a single cracked window, knowing he only allowed it during her tenancy, if he didn't provoke her so expertly.
She only ever smoked when she was staying with him – the reasons for her residency always ensured a rare, freshly bought pack would be among her scant cargo. And in turn, he only ever smoked when she was staying with him – the results of her residency complimented the rare lapse into the otherwise unappealing habit. They tried to keep the ritual confined to only after their rigorous activities - the frequency of which often requiring him to venture out for more.
Flat on her back near the memory foam's edge, an arm folded comfortably behind her head while the other pulled a cigarette from kiss-bruised lips. She emptied her lungs, watching breath leave her much more measured than mere moments ago, and combine with the rest to thicken the room's haze.
That haze, she watched swirl in the bedroom's dim lighting on a slow journey toward the sliver of an exit before escaping into the Earth's atmosphere. Until then, it contributed to the atmosphere inside, huddled and cuddled and cozy, emboldening the haze of contentment surrounding their post-coital bliss as the haze of frenzied lovemaking slowly made way.
She reveled in the long-awaited calm, languished with him inside the eye of the hurricane following the storms of passion brought on by storms of despair. Knowing it would be only a brief respite did not hamper her ability to relish, but deepened her appreciation.
And despite the very literal storm raging violently against his windows, his bedroom was very warm, allowing her nude state to persist - as well as his own.
Beside her, propped lazily on his elbow, Sesshoumaru doted down half-lidded and ran his open palm across her waist on a well-tread coarse; over her round, pronounced hip bone, followed by a lengthy, unhurried yet purposeful tour of her thigh. Stroking preceding grabbing, preceding tickling and scraping, and then he'd shuffle up the order and begin again. He watched mesmerized as his hand traveled smooth skin - bare, aside from the numerous sections he'd claimed for his own; a spattering of receipts in various sizes and shapes and purples and pinks, and everywhere boasting proof of his attentions.
He'd smooth over and prod the most brutal of them, but both trusted his control and fluency with her too much to harbor any real concern. He admired his handiwork, gaze drifting over her form with pride and satisfaction, and then returned to admiring the parts he had no hand in making, but appreciated all the same.
"It just escalated so fast," she said, watching his strong hand begin another lap. "I know he doesn't mean it. He won't even remember what he said, but-"
"You will." His deep, velvet timbre stole her attention back to his looming features – a far cry from the wild, uncontained passion held there a few minutes prior. "Whether or not he is conscious of it; you do not deserve to be berated and chased out of your own home where you are supposed to feel comfortable and safe."
It was a blur of painful pleasure after he'd carried her back to his room, and somewhere in between she'd told him everything that had happened.
None of it surprised him, because none of it was new. He was surprised things hadn't gone further - and relieved - but that just meant the cloud of anticipation and doom would grow heavier and darker, and he knew the result would be that much more devastating.
"I was nervous when he had that first drink, but he convinced me it would be okay." Scooting to sit back against the headboard, she handed him the rest of her cigarette. He put it promptly between his lips - still propped on his elbow, eyes still bonded to her.
"And it was," she added genuinely, "... at first. It was fun." The sadness belying her fond reminisce easily reclaimed the hull, making her wilt slightly even as she forced a thin smile. "Ever since he quit drinking, we just don't connect the same as before. It was nice to talk like we used to."
"You know how this always ends," he said in his stern, authoritative way she dubbed his 'teaching tone.' "Every time he takes a drink, it is as if he is telling you he is willing to gamble your marriage on a losing hand." Sculpted lips pursed. "And threatening to leave has no effect if you've failed to follow through on previous threats. He knows you will not leave him, so he does not consider it a risk."
As his voice of reason set in, so did her downcast countenance. She was long past the days of arguing, but agreeing with him was the easy part.
Taking one last drag nearly down to the filter, Sesshoumaru stretched over her legs to discard it.
"I know," she said as he settled in beside her, arms touching. "And when I storm out like tonight, I am always ready to leave. I want to." She caught his gaze to deliver something fond and apologetic while he turned into her. The hand he pulled close broke free to touch his cheek, and tuck his hair, and eventually fell to meander on his chest. He allowed her free reign, making use of his own by touring a different segment of her thigh.
"I come over here for a few days - maybe a week, if it's bad," she continued, eyes losing focus as memories played in HD. "I move into your life like a little plug-and-play alternate universe; look for my own place, try and figure a way out... have some great sex along the way," she added when she saw his thoughts begin to consume him. He gave her inner leg an affirming squeeze, but couldn't find it in him to smirk back, for he knew how this story ended.
"but then… when he's sober again, and sorry and sad, promising me the world; I always cave," she sighed regretfully. "And I will again."
"You do not have to," he said gently, taking her hand between them. "I wish you wouldn't."
"We've been over this a million times." And always ended up right here. She looked understandably exhausted, but it had nothing to do with the marathon sex session. "What am I really supposed to do?"
"You can stay here," he offered, "as long as you need to."
Smiling warmly in the face of his generosity, she lifted her hand once more to his cheek. She admitted it was a very attractive offer as she combed through sweaty bangs, but not a long-term one. As fun as hotels were to stay at, she couldn't set up shop inside one. She couldn't build a life there.
Still, it was nice to have somewhere comfortable to go.
"But eventually, I would need to go back out on my own. I can't just disrupt the nice life you've made for yourself any more than I already do."
When she gestured to make her point, he grabbed her hip, leaning close.
"You know if you go back, you will be back again and again, every few months, like you have been doing for years."
No matter how many times they went through this, it never got any easier. He thought if he could just shake some sense into her, she would finally see what was happening and get out.
But she didn't deny anymore, didn't refute. She saw exactly what was going on now, even if she truly didn't before. But still, she refused to leave.
He often wondered what it would take, and did not like the answers his mind supplied.
Her expression was troubled, and introspective, so he lowered his lips to her bare shoulder.
"I like having you here," he told her softly, grasp becoming more firm. "I would not mind if you stayed."
A chiding smirk found its way to him quickly. "You wouldn't mind having a live-in fuck buddy," she said, cuddling against his shoulder, "but you will get sick of me." Seeming to sense his impending rebut, she quickly added; "And I will get sick of ruining your dates. I will probably even get jealous," she admitted, almost ashamedly.
Gazing down at the black head nestled comfortably against his chest, Sesshoumaru couldn't remember ever feeling so helpless. No... powerless.
"I want to help you, Kagome. It is not about the sex."
"With us, it ends up being." Her hair shifted against him until a chin was digging into his shoulder. Warm blue eyes looking just as powerless as he felt drifted to his lips. "I couldn't resist you if I wanted to."
An invitation if he'd ever heard one, but it would only serve a distraction. He supposed that was why she was there, at least in part. But he was not the one who needed distracting, nor she from him.
He could resist her, despite not wanting to, but only temporarily. And only if not terribly tested.
The old familiar feel of losing a battle settled in him once again, via the only opponent who'd ever managed to deliver it.
Resigned to packing it in, he vowed victory another day. It was only the first night, after all. No need to ambush the girl. He would let her breathe.
But first, he swept some hair out of her eyes with the pads of his fingers before stroking them down her jaw.
"You know how I feel," his honeyed tone rumbled, and he saw the shiver it sent down her spine. "My home is always open to you for as long as you need. You are always safe here, and I will do all that I can to make you comfortable."
The smile pointing at him throughout his decree persisted as dark lashes lifted to find his even closer.
"That will never change," he vowed.
Bare arms slid around his bare chest until they'd encircled him, squeezing gently once her cheek crushed against the muscled planes. Closing her eyes helped enhance the feel of him.
"Thank you for the consistency," she said. "You have no idea how much I need it."
Squeezing back, he rested a strong chin on her crown.
"I do," he argued.
At that, she pulled away, head tilted back to receive his lips - or take them, it wasn't entirely clear. So little was in that moment, but all that mattered was how it felt.
"What else do you need?" he asked when they finally parted. Seeing the sparkle of mischief in her eye, he quickly amended; "Are you working tomorrow?"
"Nah, I'm taking it off. My head's not in a good place."
He nodded in understanding, expecting as much.
"Do you want to look for an apartment?" he led hopefully. "I can take you."
He watched her consider it as she slid beneath his sheets. After the worst of these episodes, the first thing on her mind was finding her own place so she could get away from the whelp.
Despite his preference that she just stayed with him, it was a good bellwether for what he was dealing with - the extent of his brother's damage. From what she had told him, however, the odds were good she would agree.
"Maybe. I kinda just need some time to think."
"Very well." He surprised her by abruptly getting out of bed and hurrying to his dresser. Grabbing a pair of silk pajama bottoms from the drawer, he promptly began donning them. "How do you want your eggs?"
"Surprise me." Dark brows furrowed. "Are you coming to bed?" Breakfast was a few hours away, after all.
"I have some work to finish," he said as he fastened his pants, sparing the woman a slight smile, "but I will be along shortly."
Deciding to forgo dirtying another shirt, he made straight for the door with her eyes following his every step.
"Okay," she relented, calling after him, "just don't fall asleep on the couch. You always work too hard."
The note of concern tinting the last bit caused his grin to grow unbidden. He made brief eye contact with the woman nestling in his bed before leaving without another word.
This certainly wasn't how he'd expected his night to end when he woke up that morning, but he'd be lying to say he hadn't expected this soon.
A/A: Anyone who's read my stories knows I don't like to vilify Inuyasha. He's far from perfect, but I still like the guy, and respect his love for Kagome - and hers for him. So no, this isn't that kind of story.
Just wanted to put that out there. Thanks for reading!