Ben curses himself for the rest of the evening for leaving Rey after that. But Luke had killed his mood talking about an acquaintance of his that had called him asking him to handle his divorce. So now, on top of his usual busy Monday, he has to deal with that.

Between the new divorce case he's going to be handling, plus whatever is going on between him and Rey, Ben's anxiety has decided to go into overdrive. He paces throughout his apartment, runs his hands through his hair, chews on his lips, gnaws at his fingernails, any nervous tick he's ever had is revisited.

He wonders if he took things too far with her. He wanted it, wants it, but he's out of his element. She's a lot younger than him and he has no idea what she expects out of this. Ben's not even sure what he expects out of this. He isn't really the kind of person who has casual flings.

But he also never dates with the intention of something more in mind for the future. It's one of the reasons he's usually single. There's a fine line he walks between monogamous dating and not-too-serious. He's hurt women in the past who, after dating for six months, wondered why he wasn't more committed. He knows he's difficult, knows that expecting women to be okay with casually dating only him is kind of ridiculous, but it is what it is. He's never wanted more, but he also doesn't like to share.

There was a woman in law school - Zorii - who he was pretty crazy about. But several months in, she began talking about Ben's commitment issues and how maybe he needed therapy and how much she wanted to be with him if he'd only open up.

Ben doesn't have commitment issues - Ben just doesn't want to be that committed. He doesn't want to share his space with someone, doesn't want to talk about marriage or babies. He told her that he'd just never been interested, which wasn't entirely true, but it was close enough to the truth that Zorii abandoned any further attempts to "fix" him and ended their relationship.

Ben has thought about marriage before, but the truth is that it was so long ago - before he realized that most relationships were destined to end badly. Sure, people may start out thinking that they want to spend the rest of their lives with someone, but people change and feelings change and Ben, for his part, completely understands why divorce numbers are so high. So he's gone about his love life hurting one woman after the other - insisting on exclusive dating knowing that it was always a dead end with him.

The thing is, he doesn't want to hurt Rey. He's never wanted to hurt anyone really, but for some reason he cares more this time. And if she's looking for a future with him…

But then, she's young, so young, and she may very well just want a fuck buddy. He can't give her that either though. He's probably worrying for nothing. This will probably all fall apart before any of his issues come to light.

A big part of him hopes he's wrong about that - that maybe she'll stick around long enough to uncover his nastiest flaws and not take off in the other direction.

Rey gets to the office early on Monday morning with plenty of time to spare before court. Amilyn's door is closed and the light is off, so she must not be here yet. She huffs in frustration and draws Rose's attention.

"Long weekend?" Rose asks, but there's a smirk on her lips.

"I saw Ben again," Rey blurts. Rose and her other coworkers knew that she'd met him for lunch last week, but they didn't know about the date Saturday. "Twice."

Rose's eyebrows shoot up just as the girl herself shoots up from her chair. "Oh? Really?"

Rey nods. "I need to speak to Amilyn because…"

Rose stares at her unblinking, nodding her head. "Because you're dating?"

"Ummm…" Rey chews on her lip. "Something like that."

"Wait, who's dating?" Kaydel pokes her head into the hallway from her office and eyes them.

"Rey and Ben Solo!" Rose squeals.

"Oh, no, wait…"

"Rey! Oh, my gosh, sweetie, I'm so happy for you!"

"Wait, wait, I don't know if that's exactly what this is," Rey says, rolling her eyes because she should've expected this reaction. "Ben just thought it would be a good idea if we didn't work together in court and I feel like I should be transparent about everything."

Kaydel looks up and down the hallway, then darts over to Rey. "Does he have a huge dick? Because he seems like he'd…"

"Kaydel!" Rose smacks at the other girl. "You can't ask her that!"

"Why not?" Kaydel frowns at Rose.

Rey closes her eyes and breathes deeply, wondering how this situation got out of hand so quickly.

"Good morning, ladies!" All three of them jump at the sound of Amilyn's voice, causing their boss to look between the three of them suspiciously.

"Rey needs to talk to you," Rose says, heading the other way. "I'll get the carts ready!"

"I'll help her," Kaydel says, and darts off after Rose.

Amilyn gives Rey a concerned look. "Everything okay, Rey? You aren't about to quit or something, are you?" There's a note of humor in her voice, but the concern in Amilyn's eyes is real.

"Oh, God, no, nothing like that," Rey assures her. "I just...can we speak in your office?"

"Of course," Amilyn squeezes past her in the narrow hallway and goes to open her door, ushering Rey in.

Once they're settled across from one another, Rey takes a fortifying breath. "I don't think it's a good idea for Ben Solo and I to work together in court. I know we don't always work together anyway, but I just wanted you to know that I'll be actively avoiding any assignments with him as the attorney."

"Oh, no," Amilyn groans, shaking her head. "What did he do?"

Rey frowns and then considers what she said. "Oh, he didn't do anything…"

"I know Ben can be difficult," Amilyn continues. "But you have to understand that most attorneys can be difficult, including myself."

"He's not being difficult," Rey assures her, and then amends, "Well, no more difficult than usual. It's just that Ben and I…"

Amilyn's brow crinkles and she leans forward over the desk, waiting for Rey to continue.

"Ben and I may be...ah, a conflict of interest? We're sort of...seeing each other now."

Amilyn stares at her for another few seconds before a smile slowly breaks across her face. "Are you serious?"

Rey lets out a relieved breath. "Yes, I probably should have reported it sooner, but this has all happened so fast…"

"That's great," Amilyn says, and she seems genuinely happy.

Rey had been worried that she would be admonished for getting involved with someone she regularly worked with, so her boss's reaction catches her off guard. "Really?"

"Of course! Ben is...well, like I said, I know he can be difficult, but he's a good guy. I've known him for a long time, way before he was an attorney. His mom and I go way back."

"So it won't be a problem if I continue to see him?"

"No, not at all. Well, as long as you don't work with him in court anymore. If you aren't working with him, there are no issues. I'm happy for you both."

It feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders as she leaves Amilyn's office with a quiet thanks.

Ben has no chill.

Rey smirks to herself as she wonders if he even knows what that means.

Probably not.

She signs her name on an agreement and then gets up to find Amilyn so she can sign off on it as well. She peeks at Ben out of the corner of her eye and catches him quickly ducking his head, scribbling something on the paper in front of him as Jessika speaks with him about a case they're working on. Rey shakes her head and does her best to hide her smile as she takes the agreement to Amilyn.

After she's done working the case, Rey strolls back to her seat and feels his eyes on her again. Once seated, she peers at him from across the courtroom , and he looks away again, a barely noticeable flush coloring his pale cheeks.

"Holy shit, Ben Solo is smitten," Rose hisses from somewhere behind her.

Rey jumps in her seat and turns around to scowl at her friend. "Shhh!"

"Oh, come on, as if he heard that," Rose rolls her eyes and takes the seat next to Rey. "He can't even hear what Jess is saying to him because he's so consumed with watching you. No way he heard me talking shit about him."

Rey watches him this time. She has nothing to do until the next docket starts, so she may as well admire her...whatever he is.

He looks really good today. Well, okay, he always looks good, but the knowledge that she gets to touch him somehow makes that fact more important. His suit is the darkest navy and fits him so perfectly and before she knows it Rey's having naughty thoughts in the middle of the day.

She catches him this time when he looks up. He's seemingly reading over the document that Jess has placed in front of him when his eyes lift to hers. At first, he looks a little startled to have been caught sneaking a peek, but then his features soften and he gives her this smile - not one of the breath-taking, toothy, boyish smiles he'd given her at the bar that night, but a little smirk, enough to reveal the dimple in his cheek. And Rey's stomach does some strange fluttering thing and she can't help but smile back and then they're just sitting across the courtroom from one another, grinning at each other like idiots.

"Okay, maybe we need to keep them in separate rooms!" Jessika's voice cuts through their moment and Rey looks away and blushes.

She can hear Amilyn laughing, and she's thankful that everyone is so easy going about this because obviously she's just as bad as Ben.

Ben waits for her outside the courthouse at the end of the day. She'd declined lunch with him earlier because apparently she was already taking a lot of shit from her friends and decided to placate them by eating lunch with them.

But when she'd shyly asked if she could see him at the end of the day, Ben had jumped at the chance to see her.

She comes out of the back doors of the courthouse all bundled up and he chuckles softly.

"What's so funny?" She says as she comes to stand in front of him, hugging her arms around herself.

"It's not that cold," he points out. "You're from England, aren't you used to the cold?"

"Never," she mutters. "Besides, I spent a few years in Arizona, remember? Much more my style."

Ben pulls her close to him, wrapping his arms around her, tucking her to his chest. "Better?"

"Yes," she says softly, snuggling into him.

Ben takes a few seconds to just enjoy how she feels in his arms. He presses a kiss to her hair and rests his cheek against her head. They stand there for a few moments, then Rey squirms a little and tilts back her chin to look up at him.

"Are you going to feed me now?"

Ben grins down at her and leans in to press a kiss against her mouth. "I think that can be arranged. I've got stuff for a quick stir fry at my place. It's closer than yours."

"Let's do it then. It's freezing out here and I'm starving."

They decide to leave her car at the courthouse since his building has limited parking. Ben can't resist the urge to reach across the console and take her hand as he drives the few blocks to his apartment. He takes the little alleyway between the buildings and parks in the hidden private parking garage for residents of the loft apartments.

As soon as he steps inside his apartment, he sheds his coat and suit jacket and gets rid of his tie, then rolls his sleeves up, not planning to waste any time since his girl is apparently starving to death. She lingers awkwardly in between the kitchen and living room, clearly not sure where he wants her, so he pulls out the bar stool at his peninsula and pats the seat, indicating she should sit.

As he gets to work on supper, Rey mentions that she spoke with Amilyn. "She seemed pleased," Rey remarks, lifting a curious eyebrow.

"Yeah, she's an old family friend. My mom was kind of her mentor back in the day."

"Ooohhh, so could she tell me some interesting stories about baby Ben?"

Ben gives her a playful scowl. "No, not baby Ben. But she could probably give you plenty of stories about awkward teenage Ben with the very large ears who hadn't grown into his frame yet. It was bad - I had no idea what to do with arms and legs that long."

Rey giggles and Ben tries to figure out how he can coax that sound out of her again. She's still bundled up, so he moves to adjust his thermostat. "What about you? You don't seem like the kind of person that ever went through an awkward phase, but surely there's something to put us back on equal footing."

Rey makes a face. "Trust me, there was plenty of awkwardness…just no one around to tell you about it." She goes quiet then, a moment of melancholy clearly taking over at the thought that there's no one to remember Rey as a preteen, or a young teenager, or a high school senior. But Ben wants to know.

He nods all along as he takes plates down from the cabinet. "Fine, no one to tell me, then I guess you'll just have to own up to it." He gives her a pointed look. "Come on, Rey. There's got to be something as interesting as big ears and gangly limbs."

"Hmm," she's delaying, he can tell. She finally warms up, evidently, because she removes her coat and drapes it over her lap. "Well, I went through a spell where my front teeth were a bit too large for my mouth. I suppose I also had a bit of acne?"

Ben sets her plate on the peninsula and she spins on the barstool to face it. He takes her jacket and throws it on the couch, and then takes his plate to sit across from her. "None of that sounds very embarrassing, Rey."

"Fine, how about this? I may have been a bit of a juvenile delinquent."

Ben freezes and smirks up at her. "Oh, really?"

She nods, but doesn't meet his eyes as she blushes. "I may have stolen some gross gas station food on occasion. Some beer." She shrugs. "I was never caught though."

"Can't believe I'm dating a thief," Ben teases.

Her eyes meet his then and he can tell she's fighting a grin. "Dating, huh?"

Shit.

"Well, we have been on dates," he says, trying to play it off like it's no big deal.

"And you want to...continue going on dates?"

Ben is staring determinedly at his food, unsure how to tell her how at this moment, he can't imagine not dating her. Unfortunately, that's all he's thought about all day. She had been a distraction in the courtroom and he hadn't even gone near her. He's completely consumed with everything about her - and not just because she's beautiful. Her revelation that she'd had a shitty childhood - and what an understatement - but had still managed to come out of it not only successful, but with a bright future ahead of her, has been a constant in his mind.

He sits back, lays down his fork, and looks up at her. "I do."

"Me, too," she says immediately.

Because Ben has a tendency to overthink things and because his anxiety is almost always just barely concealed, he wants to ask her about his earlier concerns, about if dating him means going out with only him, or if it means dating him while also dating other people. But he decides not to go there. He's not quite ready to reveal more of his off little quirks just yet.

He decides to change the subject to something he knows she likes. Food.

"Excited about Thanksgiving?"

"Oh, well, not especially," she shrugs. "No family, remember? I usually just hang by myself and start watching Christmas movies."

Ben knows he's staring at her, knows that he must look confused. He knows that her mother died, but what about her other family? She never mentioned finding her father again, but surely her mother had relatives? She's looking at him like she wants to say something, but he doesn't want to open up some wound and ruin her night if she's not ready to share whatever's going through her mind. So he just waits.

She gently pushes her empty plate of food away and sets her elbows on the bar, dropping her head into her hands. Ben is shit at comforting people, but he wonders if maybe he should go to her. But then, she raises her head with a determined look.

Ben didn't ask her, didn't say anything to try to coax the story from her, but she can see it written all over his face that he's confused. Because of course he wouldn't know that when Rey lost her mother, she lost all she ever had.

So she takes a breath and tells him.

"I don't have any family, Ben. When my mother passed...that was it. I'm sure my father is alive, somewhere, maybe…" Now that she thinks about it, she's really not sure if he is. He may have died from an overdose as well, considering his history. "The uncle that I lived with some when I wasn't in foster care was my dad's half brother and he was horrible. I never have any desire to see him again. My mother had no family - or, if she did, I never knew of them. According to her, they disowned her after I was born. I guess that's one of the reasons she ran off to England. Anyway, when I came to live with her, there was no one else, only her. If I have grandparents or aunts, uncles, or cousins, I don't know about them." She shrugs as if it's no big deal because honestly, that's how she feels. She's never been a big deal to anyone. "It's just me. So, no, I'm not particularly excited about Thanksgiving."

There is a lump trying to form in her throat, but thankfully, her eyes are dry as she looks up at Ben. She doesn't tell people what she's told him, mostly because she doesn't want pity. She's not sure why she's told him so much, given so much of herself to him already. It makes her vulnerable and she hates that, but somehow Ben has managed to crack through her outer layer - and now she's in danger of bearing everything to him. She's a little annoyed at him for it.

The look he's giving her is not one of pity though, or even one of righteous anger. He looks like he's considering something and it bewilders her. Finally, he nods, then says, "I guess you'll have to tolerate me for Thanksgiving then."

"No, Ben, that's…"

He holds up a hand and says, "Shhh. Listen, there's no way that I'm going to let you be alone on Thanksgiving when I know how much you like food. It's like a crime. Besides, I want to see how much turkey you can put away."

She has no words, can't believe that he's offering this. He has a family, he has somewhere to be, she's sure. Then it occurs to her that maybe he's wanting to take her to a family Thanksgiving dinner and panic sets in.

He must see it on her face because he quickly tells her, "I don't have anywhere to be either. And if you don't want to…" She can see the doubt creeping in now, see him second guessing himself and somehow she knows it's not because he's chickening out on her, but because he's worried she won't want to spend the day with him.

"I'd love to," she tells him, a little embarrassed by the sound of her voice, thick with emotion. She clears it and, looking for something to lighten the mood, says, "You better get a big bird though because I can put away a lot."

Later, Ben lies awake thinking about what Rey told him. They still haven't spoken in great detail about what she's been through - and Ben won't push her - but he wonders just how much worse it gets. The knowledge that she spent a decade without either of her parents around, bouncing between foster homes and an unsavory uncle has bothered him enough as it is. But he hadn't considered that she had no one.

A spark of anger ignites and he wonders just what kind of parents abandon their children. Rey told him they were addicts, and Ben has seen enough to understand that addiction is a disease, but when there's something to fight for - someone like Rey - how could they just lay down and stop fighting?

He knows she worries that he will pity her, but the most prominent emotion is anger. Anger at the people who threw her away, anger at himself because all this time, he's felt so alone. He can't imagine admitting as much to Rey. She'd be outraged that someone with two living parents and an uncle would choose to be alone.

And it's not as though he's estranged from his family. He gets along okay with Luke, despite the fact that personality clashes are inevitable between the two of them. His relationship with his father is easy enough, mostly because Han Solo doesn't seem to give a fuck about what's going on in his son's life. And his mom-

Ben was a momma's boy his entire life until he was no longer a boy. Leia had had so much hope for him, had chartered a path she expected him to follow and when he didn't - to say Leia had been disappointed would have been putting it kindly.

When Ben had gone off to get his undergraduate degree, Leia had hoped he'd major in political science. To her, it was the perfect undergrad degree for a pre-law student and also a suitable introduction into politics to which she hoped he'd one day get involved in. When Ben had chosen criminal justice as a major instead, it hadn't bothered her too terribly much because it was still a great degree to have for someone who planned to be a lawyer.

But then Ben had graduated and hadn't applied to any law schools and Leia was clever enough to know that Ben's grades were too good to not have any offers at all. When she found out he'd accepted a job as a forensic technician, she'd almost cried.

For his part, Ben had loved his ballistics job. He had picked a career that dealt in facts and science and objectivity. It was a world of difference from what he's doing now - interpreting laws, finding loopholes, all the subjectiveness that comes with the variants of how well he argues a case and what judge he gets. He's only been doing this family law thing since June, but he hates it.

And that's the problem with Ben and his mother. She had pushed him into it, insisted that he was too bright to settle for the career he had chosen, that it was a waste of his intelligence to not pursue something better. Of course, the something better in Leia's mind had been law school.

Things have been tense for several years now and Ben hasn't attended Thanksgiving dinner in a while and doesn't plan to do so this year. He has a feeling Rey is going to question him on it at some point because there were several times earlier in the evening when she looked like she might want to ask him a question, but then decided against it. He knows she's got to be wondering why he'd planned to voluntarily spend Thanksgiving alone.

And hell, maybe he will tell her. He's never talked about his resentment or the strain in his and his mom's relationship, but maybe he can tell her. She's given him bits and pieces of herself that he doubts she shares with just anyone, so maybe he can give her a little of himself.