Been a while, wasn't it? RL problems are good at holding me back, that's for sure. Probably the only thing they're good for.
Got my stuff mostly in order ATM, so updates should resume with the waiting time between chapters being a teeny-tiny bit less horrible. At least, I hope so. I'll also be editing the earlier chapters to bring them up to par with the "recent" ones, as I find them a bit lacking in quality. Already did a few fixes, but nothing major.
Anyway, sorry for the wait.
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/XxX\
Fighting witches was painfully easy compared to Mami's current predicament. Those creatures at least had the common decency to be openly evil, trying to kill people and whatnot. One didn't have to think long before deciding that destroying them was the only acceptable course of action.
The man stuffing his face with cake at her table? Another case entirely.
Discerning his true motive was impossible.
If he turned out to be a bad guy... a confrontation would most likely be impossible.
If he had any exploitable weaknesses, it was impossible to find them.
His power. His story. And, most of all, his stupidly unconcerned face. Completely impossible, all of them.
He was impossible, and his name was Saitama.
Names could be weird, and that Mami could accept. But... He was literally named after the Saitama Prefecture. And claimed to have never even heard of it. Such an unlikely coincidence made Mami doubtful that she even knew her guest's real name.
Uncertainties didn't end there.
'Saitama' was willing to answer any questions he was asked. Yet Mami still didn't have a shred of information that she could consider true for certain.
His story was just that outlandish. It was infuriating.
Scratch that, there was precisely one thing Mami was sure of. The man's existence and power had to be somehow connected to a wish Kyubey fulfilled.
Someone had to make a wish that granted the man his incredible power.
Or created him from nothing.
Or snatched him from some kind of parrel world, as he claimed.
Shockingly enough, the third option was actually the one she was leaning toward. The man had apparently years of memories of being a "hero." One of extraordinary power but somehow unnoticed by his society.
Maintaining secrecy as a Magical Girl wasn't easy, even though their enemies provided them with cover in the form of labyrinths.
This guy apparently went out in the open in a funny suit and blew up massive monsters in broad daylight, yet his exploits went completely unnoticed. Of course, it was completely ridiculous, but that seemed to be the general theme this guy was going for.
The disbelieving glare Mami centered on Saitama while he recited his life story should've been more than enough to get him to stop trying to fool her... But he didn't even notice it.
Why would he lie? A reason to fabricate such an unbelievable tale was hard to think of. It was more likely that Saitama was not lying and really remembered living such an unusual life.
If he was lying, then... frankly, there was nothing Mami could actually do on her own. Were his intellect anywhere near the level of his physical power, then Mami was hopelessly outmatched.
If there was foul play at hand, some complex manipulation being attempted... She doubted she'd even be able to spot it. There was no point even pursuing that line of thought. Adding more emotional strain to the already hefty mental baggage of hers would not help.
Still, the man didn't have to lie for his words to be fake. There was a possibility that his mind and memories were affected by magic, and he really believed his strange story. A wish would be capable of such a feat.
On the other hand, if his memories were fake, then the wish creating them must've been extremely specific, to say the least. Again, Mami did not see the reason why would any potential contractee wish for something so... weird.
She never thought that she'd say this, but Mami really believed that she was dealing with a visitor from another world. It was simply the least unlikely option.
Had to be it.
Of course, the hypothetical Magical Girl who wished their guest into existence must've had incredible potential.
The wish must've been made recently. It would explain the world's ignorance about a literal demigod walking among them. Or, well, two demigods if Mami were to count the unknown girl.
If an impossibly powerful magical girl showed up anytime soon, then Mami's theory would most likely be confirmed. But she hasn't heard about anyone like that. Not even in rumors.
She'd still ask Kyubey about the whole mess as soon as she got the chance, but the critter was strangely absent.
Mami was afraid, and gathering information was the only thing she could do at the moment.
Which was what she was trying to do before Saitama decided to... change the topic. The one he picked was somewhat controversial.
"...you probably shouldn't be doing this," he said, almost reluctantly.
Sayaka's eyes widened. "Doing... What?" she asked, confused.
The man gulped down his remaining tea and looked at Sayaka while pouring himself another cup. "Uh... I mean, fighting those things. Or at least actively looking for them. I can understand self-defense, but looking for trouble like that is an awful idea."
His expression was a strange mix of stern and bored, and he shook his finger meaningfully at Sayaka during his explanation. He presented an image of an adult discouraging a child from practicing extreme sports.
Sayaka's reaction to his words, fittingly, seemed like a child refusing to be discouraged from practicing extreme sports. She abruptly rose out of her chair and slammed her hands on the table."But it's our job! Those powers are meant to help people! We can't just waste them sitting around and doing nothing!"
Saitama sighed. He thought he knew better. From his point of view, being a Magical Girl must've seemed like some sort of game. A dangerous game played by ignorant children.
Credit where it's due - most people would probably come to the same conclusion after seeing what the man has seen.
Namely, two girls in silly costumes almost getting eaten.
Their behavior certainly didn't help either. Sayaka's attitude toward the whole affair coupled with her hero complex was somewhat infantile even to Mami, she had to admit.
But Sayaka was still new to this, so some shortcomings were to be expected.
Mami, on the other hand, knew that being a Magical Girl was far from a game. Their guest's assumption about her was far from its mark.
"You want us to stop hunting?" the blonde asked accusingly. Mami straightened up and looked the man in the eye. "Just... let the witches roam and kill?"
"Oh, come on," he replied, annoyed. "You sound like I'm asking you to kill someone, and that's not-"
"But you are. You are literally asking us to let innocents die. And that's basically the same as killing them," interrupted Mami. She briefly forgot that she was talking to someone that was still very much a dangerous unknown.
A frown marred the man's face. He sat silently for a few seconds.
Sayaka was silent as well. She stared at their guest with unease, occasionally throwing worried glances Mami's way.
"Listen," the man finally spoke up, "I think you got something mixed up over here. There is a difference between being a hero and deciding to become some kind of a... I don't know... A martyr? You seriously shouldn't be doing the latter."
Mami maintained eye contact. "Then who should?"
"Ideally, nobody," he answered. "But if someone has to, then it shouldn't be-" he stopped, grimaced, and looked away, his expression troubled and slightly annoyed.
It was painfully clear that the guy was trying to avoid angering them too much. While Mami appreciated the effort, it was getting somewhat tiresome. "Kids. That's the word you are looking for, no?"
Saitama looked like he swallowed a lemon. Nonetheless, he nodded. "Yeah, kids."
He stared at them in silence for a moment, thinking. "What you are doing is noble, but... Uh..." he said before breaking off again. He scratched his head, looked at the girls, then away again. He seemed to be at a loss.
His misguided efforts were annoying. But, this was the first time anyone has actually shown interest in Mami's wellbeing in... a while. Out of silent gratitude, she decided not to capitalize on his momentary loss and stayed silent, allowing him to collect his thoughts.
At least seeing the guy like this made him far less scary.
"Okay, for real this time," he spoke, this time with some conviction in his voice, "Back in my place, we got massive freaky monsters popping up daily. Most cities get attacked by freaks strong enough to destroy them entirely every other month, and it's rare for a building to stand in place for more than a year.
"And you know what? We are kinda managing. Heroes put their lives at risk every day. Thanks to their efforts, innocent lives are protected. Mostly," he declared, then immediately raised his hand, silencing Sayaka just as the girl was about to say something.
"The difference being, those guys are actually prepared and qualified for this kinda stuff. The heroes get paid, they are organized, they are guaranteed medical aid, they can call for reinforcements," he counted out on his fingers. "They got all kinds of things to make it safer. You are young and not getting a fraction of the help they are getting. And this place seems far from looking desperate enough to justify that. It's just wrong."
Mami's expression softened. His concern for them seemed actually genuine. There was still the possibility of the man being some kind of master manipulator trying to fool them, but it was slim. She would not let her guard down just yet... But perhaps she could lower it a bit.
Of course, that didn't change the fact that he was utterly wrong.
Mami straightened up. "You are accustomed to different circumstances. What do you think will happen if we stop? Do you believe that someone else will stop witches from taking lives?"
"Yup. Think about it. Those witcher things-"
"Witches."
"Yeah, those," he continued, none too bothered about being corrected. "You said that they've been around for a long time. They can multiply by eating people, and most of them look like some kind of twisted fever dream, right?" he casually asked.
"That is the abridged version, yes."
Saitama grinned smugly and pointed a finger her way. "There is no way that nobody has ever discovered them. Hiding something like that would've been hard even for a massive group of super-smart scientists or something. And what you guys have is just a massive amount of disorganized teens with flashy weapons. No offense, but there is no way y'all kept this tuff a secret that on your own."
"That-that is actually a good point," admitted Sayaka, then looked at Mami. "Are you sure there is nobody else who can deal with witches besides Magical Girls?"
Mami blinked. Once, then twice. Did Mr 'Hi-I'm-from-another-world-and-can-punch-out-witches-somehow' just tell her that her story had some questionable elements?
He did. He most definitely just did. And he called Magical Girls 'disorganized teens with flashy weapons'. What's even more shocking, Mami found herself agreeing with him. There was a piece missing somewhere.
Why did nobody know about witches? Mami was good at keeping her 'hobby' a secret, but she doubted the same could be said about every Magical Girl that ever lived.
Was it Kyubey that was responsible for keeping up the illusion?
But how would Kyubey keep witches a secret? And why? That... She would really have to ask him about that.
Saitama didn't seem to notice Mami's brain breaking and continued. "Some weird secret organization just has to exist for them to remain a secret. Or some kind of an outside power. No idea why they would prefer to keep the matter under wraps from the rest of the world, but your story just doesn't make sense otherwise."
There were things that she didn't know. They were quite easy to spot once she actually looked. But Saitama's explanation for the missing pieces couldn't be correct. Mami absolutely refused to believe it. Because if it were true, then that would mean those people have essentially left her-
"You are wrong. I... understand where you are coming from, but you are wrong," the words came out before Mami even realized it.
"Oh? You got a better explanation, then?"
"I don't. But..."
She really didn't have one. But it just couldn't be real. She knew why, but the man didn't. She paid a hefty price for that knowledge and didn't really want to share it with a stranger... But she had to.
"I-I've been doing this for two years now," she started, sounding far meeker than she would've liked. "Mostly by myself, I protected this city. Besides school, hunting witches is pretty much all I've been doing."
Saitama arched a brow but didn't interrupt. With a nod, he urged Mami to continue.
"I'm giving it my all every time I go on patrol. But it's still not enough. Even here, people fall victim to those things... It's not that I let them die. They often end up dead before I even get a chance to find them. No matter how much time I spend on the hunt, I often find corpses near barriers. And that's if I find them before they..." she faltered. Finding victims after they died, but before they were eaten, was probably the worst part of her job. "There is no telling how many people died to them. If your theory is correct, if there are some people fighting witches," Mami said and took a deep breath, staring fiercely into the man's eyes, "Then why haven't they saved them?"
Her guest stammered something she couldn't quite make out, visibly surprised. Mami's familiarity with death seemed to push the guy off his game.
He was quick to regain his footing, at least in part. "Not everyone can be saved. It's-it's just how life is."
A drastically different approach. The guy seemed genuinely surprised.
"Maybe I can't," she affirmed. "Still, I saved plenty... But it cost me. A lot."
She momentarily thought about telling the man how the constant hunting affected her daily life. But that hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things, and she didn't fancy looking like a whiny schoolgirl.
Besides, lack of free time paled in comparison to the dangers her 'hobby' entailed.
"The battles are dangerous, and I've been hurt often. I-I couldn't even seek medical aid after the first few times because the doctors started asking questions.
"Early on, there were times when I had to r-run. Leave people behind because I was too..." She took a deep breath and scowled. This was not the time for weakness. "Nobody was there to save them. I rarely get overwhelmed now, but as you've seen yourself, it... it still happens. If those other people are out there, fighting, then... Why haven't they helped me? Or told me that they are out there... told me I was doing a good job and not alone? I-I just... anything."
He definitely wasn't expecting that if his comically wide eyes and gaping mouth were any indication.
Then his eyes widened even more as if he came to a sudden realization.
And something about him changed.
If there was one thing that really irked Mami about the guy... He didn't look like anything special. Definitely not like someone who could punch out witches.
Now he looked like he could do that and more.
All in all, he looked exactly the same... but at the same time completely different.
His features seemed to sharpen to an unbelievable degree, no longer looking plain and silly but focused and awe-inspiring.
The torn clothes he was wearing somehow stopped resembling rundown rags and became something close to a torn attire of a hero after a difficult battle.
He was only missing was a cape, billowing in the wind.
This was not normal. Fear once again crept its way into Mami's head.
Same with Sayaka, though she was more consumed by awe than terror.
Whether the man noticed Mami could not tell. But when he spoke, his voice was gentle and calm.
"I see."
'Mami? What's going on?' she heard Sayaka's mental voice.
Mami didn't respond, entirely too focused on her guest's sudden transformation.
"Are you willing to tell me how does one become a Magical Girl?" he asked the duo.
They've been dodging around the topic for a while before, so such a direct approach was surprising. Coupled with the sudden change, it was, in fact, too surprising for Mami to deal with in time, and therefore it was Sayaka who replied, "U-uh. Sorry. That's kind of a secret, and we've only known you for like- eh..."
"Fair enough," he answered neutrally. This time he faced Mami directly. "Two years... How old are you again?"
"Fift- I mean, I-I didn't tell you."
He didn't press any further and merely nodded. "Just to clarify, only girls around your age can potentially gain magical powers, right?"
"Ahm. Yes. I... Think so?" replied Sayaka, looking toward Mami for confirmation.
Mami nodded, and the man continued his impromptu questioning. "If you become older, will you lose your powers?"
Mami blinked a few times. She didn't particularly like the man using the word if. "I-I don't know." Sayaka's eyes widened at that.
"Last question. Do you know of any adult Magical Girls?"
That one carried some unpleasant implications that even Mami hasn't noticed before. "N-no. I haven't heard of any."
Sayaka came to the same realization as her, it seemed, guessing by her shaken disposition.
"Right," the man acknowledged her answer and seemed done with his sudden interrogation. He still looked terrifying, though. "You got something to write on? I'm gonna give you two my phone number, and if anything-" he stopped mid-sentence.
Like turned off by an invisible switch, his features turned back to normal. "Hold up. I don't even have a phone right now. Nevermind."
Aaand he was back to looking ominous. "I'll come to check up on you two tomorrow. If you were planning on patrolling the city, then hold off for tonight. I got that covered. I'll break out of my cell and-"
"Yo-Your WHAT?!" Mami shrieked, horrified. The wild ride that was this whole conversation was taking its toll on her mind. She wanted off.
Again, he went back to normal. "Oh. Right. Long story, no time to explain. Make Seyiku give you the short version later."
Any response Mami might've had died in her throat once the man turned imposing again. Though this time, he looked a bit softer. Serious rather than terrifying. "By the way, sorry about making assumptions. And thank you for your work."
More surprises. Mami forgot about her sense of decorum and simply responded with a confused "Eh?"
"For those two years. Lots of people would probably be dead if it weren't for you. I'm sure they'd be grateful if they knew, so I am thanking you in their name."
This was too much. Mami didn't respond.
Their guest looked at something behind Mami, and he once again switched. He went from terrifying to terrified.
A quick check revealed that the man was looking at the clock.
Mami could kinda handle his ominous aura, but the way he switched between plain and... well... this was just...
The man champed down the remaining cake on his plate and stood up. "Anyway. I really, really gotta get going. Thanks for the cake, and remember to stay indoors tonight, okay? I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."
He opened the window, and without much fanfare, jumped out of it. Neither of the two girls heard an impact. Mami probably should've noted that down, as it meant that he might be capable of flight or something, but... she was a bit out of it at the moment.
The same went with Sayaka, who just blankly stared at the spot where the man sat moments before.
The chilly outside air made its way inside the room. It was just enough to break Sayaka out of her stupor; the girl stood up and walked up to the open window. She briefly looked around for any sign of Saitama outside. Having found nothing, she closed the window and quietly walked back to her seat.
"So..." Sayaka began. "That was quite something, huh?"
The girl stared worriedly at Mami, waiting for an answer. None came.
"I mean... My career as a Magical Girl is certainly starting exciting, haha..." Her chuckle was strained and nervous.
Mami sighed. "Sayaka, I'm-I'm sorry... for this."
"What do you mean?"
"This is going all wrong. First, that witch almost killing us because I..." she whimpered out.
"Mami- No... That wasn't your-"
"Then this guy appears out of nowhere, and I have no idea who he is and what-" She broke off and took a deep breath. The immediate danger was gone, but so was the focus and adrenaline keeping Mami together during the conversation. She didn't even have time to calm down after that thing almost ate her, and now... The lump in her throat made it hard to speak.
With some difficulty, Mami got her breathing in order. "I tried to get some information from him. I am not even sure whether the name he gave me was real. Meanwhile, he knows where I live and what I do, and I couldn't even..." she meekly berated herself and rested her head in her arms. She told him far too much. "You-you shouldn't have to experience something like this. And it is my fault. I almost got us both eaten because I wanted to show off and..." she trailed off, her words coming out as a barely audible whisper.
Sayaka placed a hand on Mami's shoulder and smiled gently. "Not your fault. And about this whole mess... you are right. It is kind of scary," she agreed. "I still think that guy is cool, but his story is super weird. And he could probably kill us if he wanted to, so yeah - scary stuff," Sayaka admitted with a sheepish smile. "But it will be easier if we tackle it together, won't it?"
Mami looked up at Sayaka with a mix of surprise and guilt. "I've failed you once already. Are you sure that this is the thing you want?"
The correct answer would be 'no.' Mami knew this. Inside, she was praying that Sayaka would pick the wrong one.
"Sure?" Sayaka asked. Then she laughed. "My legs are shaking, I have trouble breathing, and I am not certain which way is up. And you are asking whether I am sure or not?" Her lips curled into a confident grin. "If you are asking, I gotta answer! I've never been so sure in my life! We are in this together, whether you like it or- Ah!"
Sayaka's speech was interrupted by Mami hugging her tightly. Sayaka stiffened in surprise but was quick to snap out of it and return the gesture.
"Thank you," Mami whispered.
"Yeah. No problem, Mami."
She had a friend, it seemed. Which was probably the most unbelievable thing that happened today, in Mami's mind at least.
It was strange. Mami felt like she's known the other girl for years, despite literally having met her today. They skipped all of the honorifics and other 'friendship steps' she knew about.
But maybe it is meant to be this way, she thought, tightening the hug.
After all, it's not like she could speak from experience.
\XxX/
/XxX\
He made it back inside his comfy cell at last. Saitama dropped on his bed like a sack of potatoes and whistled. "What a day. Whew."
At least Saitama's disappearance wasn't noticed back at the police station, lest the crazy ride wouldn't be over yet.
He would still need to break out for that patrol he promised the blonde girl and find out a way to make the police unaware of the whole affair... But he still had plenty of time.
First, he needed to... kinda process the whole thing that just went down.
Point one - this place had monsters. He knew that already, but now he kinda understood how they operated as well. He enjoyed fighting monsters, but he seriously doubted that he would get to actually fight one rather than merely dispose of it. So, he wasn't too sure how to feel about that.
Point two - Magical Girls were real. Funny outfits, flashy powers and weapons, everything included. Now, that was a bitch to process, and he was still having trouble doing so, even now. He would deal with that later.
Point three - On top of being real, Magical Girls were also real people. That is, not some idealized cartoony heroes with psyches of steel... but just regular children, with everything that entailed.
Watching teenage animated heroes on the screen was fun, but the concept of such shows was always a bit unrealistic. Saitama had no trouble with the lack of realism in imaginary stories, but it would've been bad if some kids actually attempted to imitate them.
Coincidentally, that was the first impression he got of the Magical Duo of Blue and Yellow. At first glance, they were merely two kids inspired by cartoons and the like to put their lives in danger.
That might've actually been the case for Blue (Seya... Saya... Seyiku?) but for Mumi?
Well, to say that he was absolutely gobsmacked when Mumi opened up would be an understatement. He still had no idea why did she open up at all... Maybe he annoyed her enough that she just wanted to get the conversation over with? Being horrible with teenagers to such a degree that he actually became good with teenagers sounded like something he would manage to achieve.
As for the teens in question...
For God's sake, the kid apparently had more battle experience than he did.
Two years. Starting at the age of thirteen.
Saitama was a hero for three, but only the first year and a half did he spend actually fighting things. After that, it was more like a shitty game of hide-and-seek, with the seeker being crap at... well... seeking. But that was kinda balanced out by the other players not knowing they were playing and blowing random shit up, thus giving the seeker some major hints. The game usually ended with the seeker gently tapping the found player, which caused the latter to explode... and that was it.
All in all, it could hardly be called battle experience.
Even during his first adventures when his life was on the line, Saitama was a newly discovered adrenaline junkie with nothing of note to live for. Not to mention that he was of drinking age.
Mumi started at 13. The absence of parental figures in her home was any indication she might've been an orphan, just to add to her baggage. She obviously was not an adrenaline junkie like Saitama either.
There was obviously no comparison.
Taking all of that into account, Saitama had to admit that she was way more than just a kid trying to get herself killed, and her efforts were admirable.
So he praised her. Had to, really. The kid deserved it.
But, at the same time... Seyiku, while obviously noble, probably was a kid trying to get herself killed. In the pursuit of justice, yes, but still just a kid with a death wish.
Funnily enough, the difference between the two was simply experience... And the fact that Mumi managed to survive two years already and still held onto her ideals. Blue might be capable of that as well... But there was no reason why she had to actually try.
Encouraging Yellow would automatically mean encouraging Blue, thus putting them both in harm's way.
Discouraging them both would probably make them less likely to die. It would also deny praise and support to Yellow, who badly deserved it.
"How the hell am I supposed to deal with this crap?"
For all the trouble they caused him, Saitama was glad that he didn't manage to slip away from those two. On their own, they'd probably end up dead in a month, with his stupid head none the wiser.
There was also the question of the force that was somehow keeping everything under wraps.
At first, Saitama assumed that it was something akin to the Hero Association... But like a Secret Hero Association.
But now? The Hero Association was kinda crappy at its job sometimes, and Saitama admittedly gave it some undeserved praise during his recent conversation, but the organization rarely was outright malicious.
As for the Mysterious Entity that kept this whole matter away from the public eye and has somehow failed to help, or at least get in touch with Mumi...
Saitama came up with three options.
One - They were the good guys, but they were in deep shit and extremely desperate and might've lacked the means to help the girl. That would mean that they were facing some massive trouble and had to make sacrifices to make ends meet... Which was obviously unacceptable and probably warranted a visit from Saitama ASAP. Maybe he could help.
Two - They were the 'good guys' but were either laughably incompetent or criminally negligent and couldn't be bothered to help the kid out. Which was also horrible and also meant that he should schedule a visit sometime soon. A less friendly one.
Three - They were the bad guys and didn't give a shit about the children they were actively harming by keeping their struggles from the rest of the world. Again, unacceptable. Raid the place and have a talk with whoever is in charge. Or at least send them a strongly worded letter of complaint, and then raid the assholes if they don't cut out their crap.
Honestly, he had no idea which of those options was the worst...
Whatever it was, he'd have to find out more about them before taking action... As there currently wasn't anything he could actually do.
He would start out by questioning the girls further tomorrow. They obviously didn't trust him that much, so his task would be a bit harder than usual.
He needed to think about the questions he wanted to ask and how to ask them, lest he'd make himself look more threatening.
His musings were interrupted by a strange sound... Something like a rodent sneaking its way into his cell? Weird, the place looked rather clean, which was one of the reasons he bothered staying in...
If they had rats here, then law be damned - he was leaving this instant.
It wasn't a rat that entered his cell. Rather... a small reptile.
A newt, to be more specific. One that Saitama's seen once before.
There was only a single newt cyborg Saitama knew. There was no mistaking it.
"Master. I have found you, at last," the tiny thing said.
"Genos!" Saitama almost yelled and jumped off his bed, instantly landing on his knees, eye-level with the small cyborg. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."
Happy and relieved. The possibility of spending even more time without his disciple, perhaps not seeing him ever again, was something he was always aware of in the back of his mind... But he didn't particularly like thinking about it. Seeing Genos alive and... almost well...
He really needed that. Now he had a goal and his friend back. As soon as he caught up with his disciple, he was ready to face whatever this place wanted to throw at him!
Kinda sucked Genos was still a lizard, though...