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Summer of 2013

Sakura's college is a moderate-sized campus in the middle of a bustling city.

It's all people and business and running to places and cars honking at you. Having stayed in a semi-suburban house her whole life, she finds the city slightly daunting. More so since, she has zero friends or even acquaintances for that matter. It's lonely and painful and grey.

The only redeeming fact is that she is out of her house. The dorm room is double occupancy and her roommate is a bespectacled, redhead Chemistry major named Karin. Karin mostly leaves her alone, pouring over thick books and muttering in low voices to herself. For the first few days, Sakura was genuinely worried that she got handed the short stick, until Karin's loud, outgoing friends burst through the doors and dragged Karin away after a change of clothes. It was as though Karin had a double personality. Sakura stopped being worried. She felt this it was too entertaining to be scared.

And when Sakura meets Lee, she relishes in the devotion that he constantly shows her.

He is attentive, caring, kind, sensitive, strong-willed, and most of all – present. They become friends instantly, on her third day of college to be precise, and start spending all their free time together.

Lee is on a sports scholarship to study Business Administration. He comes from a foster family. He tells her that he doesn't have any clue about his birth parents, and the orphanage that he grew up in for the first seven years of his life doesn't have any details, either. One day, Lee just popped up when one of the caretakers found him in an abandoned car and took him there. Gai adopted him the moment he stepped inside the room.

"One look at you and I knew you were meant to be my kid," Lee told her in a gravelly voice, pretending to be his foster father.

Sakura would sometimes wonder if Lee and her could become more than friends. She likes him, yes, but every time Lee tries to cross that boundary with even a simple, careless touch on the back of her hand, Sakura feels like she is somehow cheating. Which is, of course, not true at all.

There are moments, though.

Like that one time when Lee took her to the orphanage, and she saw him interacting with all the kids, the staff, the Head, and they spent the whole Sunday playing catch, hide-and-seek, preparing soup in the kitchen, and even readying some of the kids for their pick-ups later that day. They had dinner together at a food truck, since college and money never really goes hand-in-hand, and Lee had ketchup dripping down his chin, even as he explained to her that not all orphanages are as bad as they sound.

Or that one time when Sakura confessed that she has never went camping in her life, and Lee, being the health-freak that he is, barrages her about all the treks around their city, going over every place's pros and cons and difficulty level and which ones would be the best choices for night-camping. Sakura packs a large bottle of chocolate shake for the road, and Lee, being the only person with a car, drives them both fifty miles out of the city, and they trek up a small mountain, set camp near a cliff, and watch the full moon while Sakura tells him how she's never really felt as though she had any right over her friends.

Or even that one time when they get lost trying to find a café that is supposed to be a "hidden gem" – cheap food, good music, cosy – and instead end up on a roadside bench, digging into greasy burgers from the nearby vendor, and Lee pushes the hair out of her face when a little of it gets in her mouth as she eats, laughing and dropping his own burger on his lap.

Or even that one time when they catch the first snowflakes of the season, because Sakura has never seen snow in her life before. She explains how her birthplace gets really cold during winters but it doesn't snow. It snows in the city where her college is, and Lee comes knocking on the door of her dorm room early in the morning at four, bundled up in a thick scarf, gloves, and a snow jacket, grinning happily and dragging her out in her sleep clothes, messy bed hair, still rubbing the sleep off from her eyes, and then she's suddenly awake, shivering but stretching her palm out in wonder, when the sky is dark and the yellow lights reflect off of the small white ice falling from above.

When Hinata becomes her friend, she feels the pressure lifting off from her relationship with Lee.

Hinata is mostly a reserved girl, pretty and smart, and she talks to Sakura during their French class together when Sakura is struggling with a particularly difficult pronunciation. Hinata teaches her how to roll her tongue around the word, and it is evident instantly that she seems to be a natural linguist.

"I used to live in France," Hinata explains later when she is eating lunch with Sakura and Lee. "And I lived in America for a few years. My schooling is all over the place because my parents had a messy divorce. So Neji and I were constantly shipped from place to place because our parents couldn't seem to make their minds up."

With Hinata's arrival, Lee's advances lessen. Sakura doesn't really understand why, but she thinks that maybe Lee likes Hinata more. She lets it go. Doesn't confront him. Doesn't demand answers. She cherishes the memories, and doesn't force more.

But maybe that happens because Hinata's arrival also ends up being the push that was required to discuss their past relationships, since she is the one who initiates it one evening when they are at Sakura's dorm room, passing the time with nothing urgent to do.

"Once," Sakura tells them. "But he graduated before I did, and we both knew it wasn't going to go anywhere."

Takeshi is still in touch with her on social media, for that matter. They converse back and forth about their classes, tag each other in memes, or simply catch-up from time to time. He's also dating a girl from his college currently, and asks Sakura about the same.

"I used to like a girl in school," Lee admits. "But I don't think she was interested. So I never asked her out. What about you?"

"I've dated thrice," Hinata tells them. "They didn't last because I moved around a lot."

"It won't be a problem this time," Sakura points out.

"Hopefully," Hinata shrugs. "I'm surprised at you, though. I thought you and the Uchiha guy must have dated or something."

"Which Uchiha guy?" Lee questions, frowning and serious.

"Oh, it's nothing," Sakura puts on a dismissive demeanour. "He's my friend from school. I had mentioned him to Hinata once."

Hinata is giving her a strange look, which Sakura tries to ignore as much as possible. She is pretty sure that Hinata must be wondering why Sakura is downplaying the whole conversation they had about him. Sakura had actually confessed to her that Itachi is the first person she had ever liked romantically, but didn't go into details, and Hinata must have assumed they dated at some point.

Sakura's classes are slightly bumpy, but she manages. She's been sincere throughout school, and there is no way that she can not be the same with college studies, too. She finds herself imagining all the professions that she could possibly get into with an English Literature degree, and considers translation for a good amount of time. Hinata encourages her in those regards, sharing that she plans the same with the insane amount of extra language classes that she's been taking.

It doesn't feel right. Translation might be a good career, but it doesn't feel right. She isn't interested in being a novelist, either. Nor any kind of a writer.

"The money is inconsistent, anyway," Lee tells her. "What about a business?"

Sakura shrugs, dragging her fork through her noodles aimlessly. "I don't know. I'm not very confrontational. Or even have a business sense, for that matter."

"You'll learn," Lee says. "You can choose something that will generate a lot of revenue."

It's not exactly a secret that Sakura wants to earn money quickly. Aunt Guren always says that the earlier you become rich, the better you'll spend your life. Besides, Sakura doesn't really want to face a situation wherein she has to borrow money from her parents. Her current part-time job at the photocopy centre in their college campus pays her enough to survive. What about paying off the student loan once she graduates?

Her Christmas break with her family was full of unnecessary remarks already. Even Itachi hadn't returned home for it because he had opted to work through it instead, which made it all the more worse. How do they expect her to do anything with them sitting on her head for every little thing? Moreover, Mebuki even took her to the side and asked her if she was still in contact with Itachi after what Aunt Guren had disclosed.

Sakura glares at her. "Of course, I am. And since we are on that topic, maybe a little respect to people's boundaries would be a good start if you plan on mentoring someone."

Mebuki huffs. "She was only looking out for you! And isn't it a good thing that she did? Putting some sense into a young woman is not criminal."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Sakura hisses in incredulity. "She has no boundaries, Mom! She checked her teenage niece's phone! Read all the messages! And then tried to tell me what a shit person my friend is? You say that's putting some sense into a young woman? Who told you to do it, anyway? I don't know what I've been doing this whole time, but your unasked advice and meddling is not welcomed! Do you hear me?"

Mebuki shushes her, panicked eyes snapping to the door. "She'll hear you! Can you stop being such an ungrateful brat for once? Everything we're doing is for you. Your future. Your safety. We even sent you to college! No one in our family has gone to college, Sakura."

"You're not paying for anything!" Sakura barely manages to keep her voice in check. "I don't even live here anymore, Mom! Can you please stop with your crazy thoughts? Me going to college has nothing to do with Aunt Guren checking my phone!"

"You'll understand it when you become a parent yourself," Mebuki says in a harsh tone. "Maybe then you will be grateful for all the things we have had to put up for because of you."

Sakura storms out, choosing to spend the rest of the evening with Ino instead.

When Itachi asks her over text later that night why she sounds so put-off, Sakura doesn't tell him.

Just bored.

Oh, okay. Talk later?

Yeah.

And that's it. Sakura thinks that maybe she should have shared the fight with Itachi. But she has never really told him about the suffocating burden that is her overbearing mother, meddling aunt, and aloof father, and doesn't really see why he'd be interested to know now anyway.

He's barely there himself.

Itachi has become so busy with his college life that Sakura has gone days without a single text from him. The calls are even more infrequent. It's not as though he doesn't seem interested in her life, he does. Whenever they talk, he wants to catch-up with all the details. Which is fine.

Except that it's not.

Playing catch-up with best friends doesn't sound bad in itself. But playing catch-up with your best friend every single time you communicate does become a bit … off-putting, she supposes. Sakura can't keep a tab of everything that happens just so she could relay it all to him at his convenience. She wants him to be present during her life, share it with him as it is happening, play catch-up at the end of the day, and she doesn't think it is a huge expectation to have.

Sakura also wonders which expectations are purely friendly and which are not, and has a hard time distinguishing between the two. Because the truth is, she hasn't exactly kept up with Ino, Temari, or Shikamaru after graduation. They do converse at times, not that they have broken ties altogether. Temari got into a six-month photography programme, and is currently freelancing for small events. Ino joined her family's flower shop, and Shikamaru went for a Psychology degree to the States.

So yes, she is not sure how much she should be expecting from Itachi. She can maybe still argue that Itachi is her best friend, and that changes things. But if she does consider him her best friend, then isn't it better to let him to his devices? To give him time and space to figure out his life? From what he has said, he is definitely enjoying his studies. He has made a few friends, too. His roommate Yahiko and Yahiko's girlfriend seem to be a big part of his life, and then there was someone called Tobi and Sasori, too. And some girl called Izumi whom he spends a lot of time with during studies and projects.

Maybe Sakura needs to let him go. Their relationship, in any shape or form, doesn't seem to be leading anywhere anyway. Maybe she needs to move on from him already. Isn't college the best place to find someone else? There are so many people in her class whom she shares similar interests with. She can discuss any topic at length, and they would be there, as her life is happening. Even if Lee seems to have lost interest, there are other people. Like Yakushi Kabuto. He is a fairly good-looking man, and they've had good, interesting, intellectual conversations a few times. She doesn't know if he would be romantically interested in her, though. Maybe she could ask him.

That's the best thing to do right now, she decides. Move on. Find someone else. Stop hurting.

And then one day, Itachi visits her at her college as a surprise.

Sakura is just stepping out of the building after her last class and there he is, standing in the sunlight, grinning at her, hair in a bun, white t-shirt and dark denim.

Winter 2020 – Present Day

Sakura wakes up, gasping and terrified.

It's still dark outside. The clock reads 2.20 AM.

Sakura takes a few steadying breaths, removing the blanket from her body, and getting out of the bed. She walks to the tiny six-by-six feet balcony, slides open the glass door, welcoming the cool air to calm her down. The street down below is quiet and dark except for a few stray dogs barking in the distance. Her feet are on cold metal, but that's fine. It doesn't snow in this city, either. It gets really cold but it doesn't snow.

She entertains the idea of perhaps moving to a place up in the very North. She recently watched this travel movie wherein the young girl, about to be married, gets abducted one day before her wedding. And she ends up not wanting to return home even when the kidnapper, who was only a man-on-hire, lets her go when he doesn't get his money from his boss for the abduction. The girl goes to the North instead, starting a fresh new life, leaving her fiancé and family behind for good because she realises she had always been in a cage. And – really – whoever likes living in a cage?

Sakura entertains the idea of it for a good half an hour before she reminds herself that she has a good job that she enjoys, friends that she cares about, and running away is not an option. Just because Itachi's return has started to bring out these long-buried memories back, long-buried dreams back, doesn't mean that she can actually run away.

No matter how strong the urge is at times.

Time doesn't reverse itself, she reminds herself once more.

"And I don't want it to," she says out-loud, shivering, and a dog barks in approval.

Onoki is clearly surprised at the mass resistance from the teaching staff.

It begins when all the teachers gather in the break-room for lunch, grabbing a chair each, opening their food packets, and digging into it, laughing and chatting, and discussing how their weekend went.

He steps inside the room, and they all know it. They all know it even if they pretend that they haven't noticed him at all. Sakura catches Naruto's eye, and he grins into his sandwich. This idea banks on the hope that Onoki has some form of shame left in him. Or at least some insight left in him that he can't exactly shout or scream or scold a room full of teachers as they eat. That would be too … dictator-type.

And it works.

Onoki leaves them be, red and furious, without creating any scene.

When Sakura is leaving from work, she receives a text message from Itachi asking if she is free. They agree to meet at a cat's café – Itachi's suggestion – that Sakura has never been to.

Itachi is already waiting for her outside the main doors when she gets there. From the outside, the café is not too huge. It has funky colours and textures, with posters of cats all over. She wonders if "funky" is Itachi's latest thing.

"Hey."

Sakura giggles. "A cat's café? Do you always come here?"

Itachi shrugs, trying to look cool and casual. "Sometimes. I haven't been here in months, though. And I don't remember if you're a cat person or a dog person."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "Neither, really. I mean, nothing against the animals. I just never saw the appeal in either of them."

Itachi appears to be personally offended, but he doesn't respond anything. Instead, he gestures for her to go ahead, following closely behind. Inside, there is a small lobby where a young soft-spoken man welcomes them, and smiles at Itachi with familiarity. He remarks how Itachi hasn't visited in a long time, and Itachi dismisses it with "been busy". The man introduces himself as Haku and explains to Sakura that they need to wash up in the adjoining washroom before they can be let inside with the cats.

Itachi and Sakura both enter the small space together, and Itachi turns on the faucet. They wash their hands and feet with soap, and Sakura feels strange, excited, and mischievous. Just as Itachi is wiping his hands with a paper towel, she cups her palms, fills it with water, and throws it in his face.

"Hey what the–!" Itachi flails dramatically, hands coming to shield himself too late.

Sakura lets out a peal of laughter.

So of course, in retaliation, Itachi holds her whole face under the faucet as she shrieks at him how unfair his revenge is. Her hair is dripping wet, so she opens the hair tie, and shakes it loose.

"Here," Itachi smirks, passing her some paper towels, too.

Haku doesn't comment. Merely stares between a grinning Itachi and a soaking Sakura and asks them what they'd like to order. They decide upon a pot of tea with a plate of biscuits. Haku then leads them to another set of doors, pausing at the threshold.

"Do not feed the cats anything. Do not startle them. Do not speak in very loud voices. Do not chase them. Let them come to you. We have two staff members inside who will keep an eye. Some of the cats have certain disabilities, so we'd like you to show a certain amount of sensitivity. Do not hit them, be hostile in any way, or injure them. If we believe that our cats are in danger, we will throw you out."

Then he suddenly smiles. "Enjoy your stay. Your order will be right with you."

There is instrumental music playing softly on the speakers. Around ten to twelve cats are scattered through the room with two other tables occupied. The two staff members that Haku mentioned are standing guard in one corner.

Itachi picks a table near a bookshelf, folding his legs neatly under him. Sakura sits down across the table. Immediately, a black cat approaches Itachi, sniffing at his knees experimentally.

"Sakura, meet Marshmallow. I think he remembers me."

Sakura takes a discreet steadying breath, dutifully, albeit awkwardly, saying hi to the cat. Then Itachi proceeds to point out all the other cats with their names, this is Frodo, that there is Catzilla, then that one there is Jiggles and –

The pot of tea arrives quickly. Sakura busies herself with pouring them each a cup as Itachi continues to play with Marshmallow and Bubbles has joined the party by now.

So Itachi is a cat person, Sakura grins into her cup. She never knew that.

Her phone buzzes with a text message. Surprisingly, it's Sasuke.

Listen.

Sakura rolls her eyes and sends an "ear" emoticon just to annoy him.

I want to ask out Naruto.

Sakura almost drops her phone. Itachi notices her expression, and asks her what's up.

She shows him the text, and he laughs out-loud, immediately pulling out his own phone and calling Sasuke.

"You idiot," Itachi says without preamble. "Kiba will flay you alive."

Pause.

"No. You never go after your friend's date! What is wrong with you?"

Pause.

"Sasuke, that's just dumb. And stop asking Sakura stupid questions," Itachi rolls his eyes and winks at her, and cuts the call entirely without letting Sasuke get another word in.

"Shouldn't he be asking Kiba?" Sakura asks, rubbing behind Bubbles' ears. "I mean, Naruto and Kiba aren't serious or anything. But I'm pretty sure this is against the rules."

"It is," Itachi agrees. "Unless it is quite serious. As in, if Sasuke is really serious about Naruto. Which I don't think he is."

"Yeah?"

"It's Sasuke," Itachi rolls his eyes. "He's never had a serious relationship in his life. He doesn't intend to have one either. Definitely not a good enough reason to create an awkward situation between Kiba and himself."

"Oh, alright. Naruto doesn't need to get himself between two friends, anyway. He'd hate that."

Marshmallow climbs onto Itachi's lap, snuggling into his chest, purring satisfyingly. Itachi absently strokes his fur.

"How long have you two been friends for?"

Sakura shrugs. "Not long. I met him when I joined the school."

"When was that?"

"About a year ago," she says thoughtfully.

"What did you do after graduation?" Itachi questions curiously.

"Well, I did that Marketing course. Then I worked at a marketing agency for a year. Left that. Then I was just getting desperate for a job, and saw an ad for the teaching position. But I needed a basic six-month certification, after which I could join."

"Why did you leave the marketing agency?"

"Oh, it was terrible," Sakura confides with a grimace. "It was this fast-paced, moderate paying job, but it involved a lot of horrible supervisors. I disliked the whole culture."

Itachi purses his lips, biting down on a smile for some reason.

Sakura doesn't let it go. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing," Itachi chuckles. "It's just … why would you even go for that? You're not very … sales type of a person."

Sakura grins sheepishly. "I know. I was in that phase where I wanted to earn quick-money. They had a good sales cap."

Itachi nods in understanding. Sakura asks him what he did after graduation. He must have graduated two years ago, and he had said his job at Gaka is fairly new.

"I was working with a friend of mine," Itachi says.

"Oh. Why did you stop?"

There's a pause as Itachi locks eyes with her, and then says a little uncomfortably. "We broke up. Then it was just too weird work with her."

Sakura blinks, doesn't respond immediately. "Right."

The air between them tense as they avoid looking at the other. Sakura wants to ask him who the girl was, wants to know why they broke up, wants to know whether she was the love of his life, but doesn't want to at the same time.

Ever since they started talking again, it has been this big gigantic elephant in the room. Their lives when they weren't in contact feels something of a taboo – unless they are discussing something as harmless as their professional lives. Everything else feels untouchable.

Of course, it can't continue in this manner. Or perhaps it can if they don't intend to become good friends again. If they decide to stay acquaintances, then there is no need to go into personal matters. Sakura isn't sure what she wants from this. She thinks that maybe she should. If she decides what she's looking for when it comes to her relationship with Itachi, then it'll be easier to talk, easier to pick topics, easier to breathe.

And if Itachi doesn't want the same thing as her, then they can perhaps agree upon a middle ground that is comfortable for both of them.

Yes, that seems like the best course of action.

Having decided that, Sakura gathers up her courage, and forces the words out. "How long were you dating her?"

Itachi startles, his cup almost slipping from his fingers. "Oh. Um. About three years."

Sakura nods, her heart pounding. "That's a long relationship."

"Yeah. It was."

Pause.

The instrumental music spilling from the speakers is not soft anymore. Sakura feels as though it is reverberating through the entire room, along with her pulse.

And then Itachi cuts through it. "What about you? Dated anyone?"

"Yes," Sakura replies. "Lee, actually. And Kabuto."

Itachi stares at her. "You dated Lee? Who's Kabuto?"

Sakura finds it unfair that Itachi hasn't even mentioned his ex-girlfriend's name yet. So she shrugs instead of elaborating.

"That's it?" Itachi says incredulously. "Details, Haruno!"

The nickname – which wasn't exactly a nickname but somehow still was when Itachi used to say it – feels terribly painful at this moment. She's not his Haruno anymore. She's Haruno Sakura, and she wants to remind him of that boundary so badly that it is a physical urge to do so.

"Hey, you didn't give any, either!" Sakura gives a forced laugh, jabbing a finger in his direction.

Itachi smirks. "Fair enough."

And that's that.

Sakura wonders why he didn't. Wonders if it's still painful for him to talk about it. Wonders if she would ever be ready to hear about it.

They change the topic to mundane things. They still catch-up, but the sentences are carefully worded. No relationships are mentioned. But Sakura ends up mentioning Lee quite a bit since they have been friends for longer than they have dated and Itachi doesn't remark on it.

It's dark when they leave the café.

"Next time," Itachi says with purpose, clutching at his stomach, "dinner, please."

Sakura laughs.

Summer of 2013 – Continued

When Itachi kisses Sakura, it's unprompted, unexpected, out of the blue.

It happens when Itachi visits Sakura for the third time, and meets Sakura's friends for the first time. Hinata suggests that they go have lunch together to this buffet place she really loves. They drive in Lee's car and Itachi sits in the back with Sakura, asking about her classes, Professors, her part-time job, and if everything has been alright, and how sorry he is for not having been in touch with her regularly, but that he's going to try and text her as much as possible, and –

Sakura feels wonderful.

Itachi has not forgotten her. He's just genuinely been busy with his new life. Has been trying. And isn't that what matters?

Maybe they still have a chance, she thinks with caution. Maybe she doesn't need to move on yet. Maybe she can stop hurting.

The buffet is delicious. Itachi speaks with both Hinata and Lee, sitting beside Sakura at the table, sharing food with her, and nudging her from time to time to tease over something or the other. He also seems to enjoy Hinata's past travelling life, and shows interest in knowing as much as possible. He asks Lee about his hometown, how the orphanage was, what he plans to do after graduation, and –

Sakura feels wonderful.

Everything seems to be falling to place. It's just a matter of time now.

After their lunch, Sakura insists on going back to the campus. In her dorm room, Karin is stooped low over another of her textbooks and hisses at them when they accidentally talk in too loud voices. Itachi says that he wants to freshen-up and goes to the bathroom. Sakura remembers a moment later that the towels are still drying, so she grabs one that is almost dry and knocks on the bathroom door.

"I got towels."

Itachi opens the door, his face dripping water, and the top of his hairline is wet.

"Could you just keep it on the counter here?" he requests, moving aside to let her in in the cramped space.

Sakura enters, places it near the basin, and when she turns around to leave, Itachi is suddenly too close, blocking her way.

"Oh, sorry," she quickly says and then tries to maneuver around him at the same time that he does, so now they are blocking each other again.

He chuckles. "Sorry. Hang on. Stay put."

Sakura notices the scent then. The musk cologne that is almost evaporated. It does weird things to her, and suddenly she's hyperaware of how close they truly are, and how alone they truly are in that small space.

But now Itachi is stepping to one side to give her room to move, so Sakura takes the chance, almost reaches the door, and then finds herself being pulled back by a warm, wet, slippery hand.

Itachi kisses her without preamble, right on the lips, and Sakura freezes. His face is cold and wet, too, and so are his lips. Everything is slipping. His hands, his lips, and Itachi himself.

Sakura feels it in her bones.

This is not a first kiss. This is a goodbye kiss.

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