A/N: Hello all! It's been such a long time since I've updated. I apologize. My life has been extremely busy. I went from part-time to full-time, and I have just accepted a new position in the company, which is going to make my life even busier. Plus I've had writer's block for the longest time. I hope it was worth the wait and you guys are still interested in this story. I will try not to take as long to update, but I can't make any promises. Stay safe and please review and tell me what you think. Love, Ellivia22

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans I would make a movie like "Judas Contract," but it focuses on the BBxRae relationship.

Trust Me

Part VII

Beast Boy

When I wake up the next morning, I feel both emotionally and physically exhausted. My body aches and feels heavy as if my chest is being weighed down by a boulder. I didn't sleep well at all and I'm feeling the effects of it. Not only that, but I also feel extremely depressed because of everything I learned yesterday.

I blink a few times, trying to get my vision into focus. The walls aren't green, and the floor isn't messy. I am in a dark room, surrounded by raven figurines and a large bookcase in the corner. A gothic-looking dresser and mirror are across from the bed that I'm lying in. I'm not in my own bedroom. I'm in Rachel's. It takes me a few minutes to remember what I am doing here. Due to my emotional state last night, Rachel wanted me to stay with her for the night. She said it was so that she could be close to me, but I know the truth. She knew that I was an emotional mess and wanted to keep an eye on me. I'm so grateful that she wants to take care of me, but I can't help but feel slightly suffocated. I need some time alone so that I can process everything.

I roll over to face my girlfriend. Rachel is cuddled up close to me, her arm draped across my bare stomach protectively. Last night we agreed to sleep on opposite sides of the bed since it was not the time nor the place for us to take the next step in our relationship. However, in the middle of the night, Rachel must've decided she wanted to cuddle with me. I find that I don't mind at all. In fact, I feel sort of protected. She is such a wonderful girlfriend. I don't know what I'd do without her.

Gently I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close to me. Her head rests against my chest as she continues to sleep soundly. I continue to stroke her bare shoulder, my hand briefly getting caught in the thin strap of her light purple lavender pajama top. Her skin is so soft. I close my eyes, inhaling the scent of her lavender lotion. I feel myself calm down slightly. I wish we could stay like this forever.

With my eyes still closed I reflect on everything that happened last night. It's the last thing I want to think about, but I can't help it. I want to believe with all my heart that the entries I read in my journal were all lies, but there's no point denying the truth. Nothing is what I thought it was. My friends were never the friends I thought they were. They hated me. Despite acting like I'm a valuable teammate, Robin deep down thinks I'm nothing but worthless. Starfire may act that she likes my jokes, but she's truly frightened of me. The worst part of all is Cyborg was never my best friend at all and would have no shame in destroying my main food source. A tear falls down my cheek as I remember reading the fact that they didn't care whether I lived or died after I got stabbed by Slade's henchmen. Rachel told me last night that while I was unconscious in the hospital the others came to realize what they've done and that's why they've been so nice to me lately. As much as I want to appreciate their gestures, it doesn't erase the fact that they were the reason I almost took my own life.

I struggle to keep my powerful emotions under control. The lump in my throat is getting bigger, and it's a constant struggle to keep the sobs from escaping. How am I going to face my former friends now that I know the truth behind their deceit? Even worse, how am I going to face them when I get all my memories back? I don't know if I can handle any more pain at this point.

I feel movement beside me. I open my eyes to see Rachel's violet ones stare at me sleepily. I kiss her cheek lovingly. "Good morning Sleeping Beauty."

She smiles softly at me. The smile doesn't last long. Her expression quickly turns into concern. "Are you feeling okay?"

I sigh. "No, I'm not okay. I haven't felt this betrayed since Terra turned against us. The pain I'm feeling is rough and raw I feel like I'm being ripped from the inside." Rachel winces from my description. "But if you're asking if I'm suicidal again the answer is no."

Rachel reaches up, wiping a spare tear from off my cheek that managed to escape. "I'm glad." She hesitates for a moment. "Is there anything I can do to make this whole situation better? I can't stand seeing you so unhappy."

I kiss her tenderly, relishing the taste on her lips. She returns the kiss with just as much passion. "Just continue being you. That's all I need right now."

She snuggles into my shoulder. I kiss her tenderly on the head. I wish we could stay like this forever; just the two of us. No villains, no Titans. Just Rachel and I in our own little world. I know that I have to face my teammates sooner or later, but I'm so afraid. Should I confront them with what I know, or should I just pretend like nothing ever happened? I'm particularly good at pretending that things don't bother me, but this is vastly different. What I went through was life-changing. Maybe it won't be so bad if Rachel stays by my side.

"You've been through a lot," Rachel says, breaking the silence for a few minutes. She must've read my mind or heard my stomach rumble. "How about we go to the kitchen and I'll make you breakfast? Tofu eggs and bacon." I can't help but give her a skeptical look. I've never seen my girlfriend cook- just make herbal tea. She scowls at me. "What?"

"Have you ever cooked before?" I ask teasingly.

"No, but it can't be that hard."

I tuck a strand of violet hair behind her ear. "How about you and I cook together?"

She smiles. "All right." She notices the hesitation on my face. "It'll be all right. I promise."

I give her one last kiss, then after making sure no other Titan is around, I hurry back to my room to get dressed. Using all the energy and strength that I can muster I force myself to be brave, despite the knots in my stomach. I must be strong, otherwise, I'll fall apart all over again.

Fifteen minutes later I enter the deserted kitchen. I'm kind of surprised that nobody else is in here. I glance at my communicator. 9 AM. Battle practice. That's why the tower seems empty. I'm surprised the others let both of us miss it. Especially Robin. I feel the stress in my shoulders ease up a bit. Maybe I don't have to see the Titans after all. Rachel and I can cook quickly, eat, and be out of the tower before the others get back. That's my hope anyway.

Rachel bends down, looking into the cabinets below. Meanwhile, I open the fridge to pull out my tofu. If I didn't know any better, it looks like I have even more tofu in there than usual. Weird. I haven't been to the store lately.

"Which pan do you use?" Rachel asks.

"The round one with the long green handle," I answer, grabbing a package of tofu from the fridge.

Just like when Rachel kissed me, I feel memories flood back to me so fast the world is almost spinning. This time, however, the memories I'm recovering are not so positive. I shut my eyes to control the nausea that's building rapidly in my stomach. It does no good. I fall to my knees and start retching on the kitchen floor. My body shakes and tears start streaming down my face. Rachel calls out in alarm, but I don't hear her.

With my eyes closed, I can still see the kitchen, but it's not Rachel that is in the room. It's Cyborg, and his back is turned to me. I hear the garbage disposal running. Loud and swirling. White stuff going down the drain. My tofu. Cyborg turned to face me, pure hatred on his face.

This is a tofu-free zone!

If you want tofu, go somewhere else!

Cyborg's words of hate continue to ring in my head repeatedly, making me feel sick again. I retch some more, making my throat burn.

"Gar," Rachel asks worriedly, placing a hand on my sweaty back. "Are you okay?"

I open my mouth to reply but am interrupted by the last person I want to see. "Hey, y'all. You missed combat practice. Is everything okay?"

I open my eyes and shakily stand up. Rachel follows suit, her arm protectively around me. Cyborg is standing before us a very worried expression on his face. Seeing my former best friend causes a multitude of emotions to consume my very soul. Feelings of hurt, betrayal, and immense anger. I wipe my wet face with a shaky hand. "H-how could you?" I stutter.

Cyborg attempts to appear confused, but the guilt is evident on his face. "What are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about?" I yell furiously, my voice trembling with each word. "You were my best friend in the whole wide world, Cyborg. I thought I could trust you with anything, but you never cared for me, did you?!"

"I do care-."

"Liar! I remember what happened! I remember you destroying my tofu without a second thought! I remember what you said to me! I-If you wanted this place to be a tofu-free zone then I'll do you all a favor and just leave! I don't need this team anyway!"

"BB, please! I'm so sorry!" Cyborg begs, his voice higher pitched. "I know what I did was cruel. You have no idea how much I hate myself for doing what I did. If I could take it back, I would do so without a second thought. Please, buddy, believe me."

"It's too late," I respond coldly. "Not only did you betray me, but you also kept this from me. You weren't trying to protect me; you were trying to protect yourself!"

Before he can utter another word, I run out of the room as fast as my legs will carry me. I need to get out of here before I do or say something I might regret.

"Garfield!" Rachel calls. I ignore her. I need to be alone.

Instead of going as far away from the tower as I possibly could, I find myself sitting on the roof of Titan's tower. It's been a long time since I've been up here that I can remember. In fact, the last time I remember being here by myself is after my suicide attempt. I keep my eyes focused on the crystal blue water as it crashes against the shore hard as if it's angry. My chest burns in pain as if my heart is literally breaking; a feeling that I'm experiencing for the second time.

How could this have happened? How could I have been so blind to think that my teammates cared about me? I was never their friend, just the joker, the Titans' pet. They only kept me around just so they had someone to push around. Not anymore. I have no intention of staying here any longer. The big question is, however, where should I go? More importantly, can I convince Rachel to come with me?

I feel movement beside me. I don't take my eyes off the water. It's Rachel. "I don't want to talk about it," I mutter.

"All right. I'll just meditate for a while."

I glance at Rachel from out of the corner of my eye. She looks so calm, so peaceful. It's as if nothing is bothering her. If only I could suppress my emotions like she can. Life would be much bearable.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

Without thinking about it, I cross my legs and close my eyes. I lift my arms halfway in a meditation pose. I've never done this before in my life yet going into this pose seems familiar to me. Perhaps it's from watching Rachel do it countless times. I attempt to clear my mind and force my breathing back to normal. I must forget everything-as if I lost my memories all over again. I need to stop focusing on the bad and think of some positive memories, the very few that I have.

I think about my childhood-the good part of it. I think about growing up in Africa with my parents before I turned green. I visualize the green of the jungle and the many animals that lived there. I got to play with so many different animals and learn about them. I enjoyed the enthusiasm my parents had about their research. They truly were passionate about what they were doing. Even after I turned green, they still loved me as if nothing had happened at all.

But then they died.

My eyes squeeze shut painfully as I attempt to force the tears back. The boating accident. I can see the boat we were on heading to the waterfall. I remember turning into a bird to save myself out of instinct. The worst part of all I can still hear their screams as they fell to their deaths. I could've saved them, but I didn't. I choke on a sob. It's my fault they're dead.

We don't blame you, sweetheart, a gentle voice rings in my head gently. A voice I haven't heard since I was five years old. It's been so long, am I sure that it's my mother's voice I hear in my head? All that matters is that you're alive.

Another tear falls down my cheek, but this time it's a happy one. I remember now. I finally saw my parents after so long, even though it was when I was unconscious. They came to me, told me that they didn't blame me. They told me they loved me. It was because of their guidance that I decided to wake up and stay with Rachel instead of moving on to paradise. Hidden pain that I've kept buried away for ten years is finally starting to subside. I can finally let go of the guilt of losing my parents and move on with my life. I don't need the Titans. I only need Rachel by my side for the rest of my life. She is my everything.

The longer I think about my childhood in Africa, the happier I become. That's what I need to do. I need to get away from not only the Titans but Jump City altogether. Instead of taking the permanent way out like I planned before I can just go back to my real home. All I need to do is ask Rachel to come with me.

"Rachel?" I say quietly, opening my eyes.

"Yeah?" she floats to the ground beside me, her attention fully on me again.

"I-I was wondering if you would... what I mean is..."

"Why don't you try that again, but in English," Rachel says monotonously, but with slight teasing in her tone.

"I've decided to quit the Teen Titans. I know that I don't have all my memories back, but I remember the fact that after everything that's happened the team will never be the same again. I want to go back home to Africa. I-I was wondering if you would come with me."

Rachel smiles at me. "Yes," she answers without hesitation.

"R-really?" I ask in surprise. "You're willing to quit the Titans and come with me just like that?"

"Yes," she repeats. "You're right, Garfield. After everything that's happened, the Teen Titans will never be the same again. It's time we moved on, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you."

Her response warms me from head to toe. She's truly one in a million. I pull her into my arms and kiss her passionately. She responds back eagerly.

"Thank you, Rachel," I tell her breathlessly. "You've made me so very happy."

"I'm glad." She touches my cheek gently. "We can leave tonight once I gather my things."

I smile. "Sounds like a plan."

We spend another hour on the roof holding each other close and watching the ocean. For the first time since I lost my memories my life is changing for the better. I can't wait to see what our future has in store for us.

Raven

It's like Deja vu all over again I muse to myself as I use my powers to put my shrunken dresser in my large black bag.

I can't wipe the smile off my face no matter how hard I try. Even though Garfield hasn't gotten all his memories back, we're finally going through with what we planned. I'm not sure if Garfield remembers asking me before or if he just wants to get away. It doesn't matter. Soon it will be just the two of us, just like he wants.

Unlike the last time, packing up my things isn't taking nearly as long. Of course, the fact that a lot of my things were still packed away helps decrease the time drastically. Once I'm done, I'll go grab Garfield. The sooner we leave the better. The last thing I need is Adonis attacking us again.

After stuffing the last of my books in my bottomless bag I decide to go to the kitchen. I want to grab my assortment of teas and teacups for the journey. I can't survive without my herbal tea.

While I walk down the hall I glance into Garfield's open door. The green boy's back is to me and he's packing things into his opened brown suitcase. Even from a distance, I notice that he's standing up much taller. His head is held up higher, and the muscles in his shoulders seem to be loosened up. The best part of all is his positive emotions. Instead of feeling emotions of hurt, betrayal, and depression, Garfield is feeling hopeful, happy, and in love. My smile grows bigger. He's going to be fine.

As soon as I enter the common room, I realize immediately that I have interrupted a meeting. Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg are in the living room, looking extremely grim. Starfire is sitting on the couch looking the most upset I've ever seen her. Surprisingly, she's not crying. Cyborg is sitting next to her, his face buried into his robotic hands. Robin is standing in front of the coffee table, pacing back and forth.

"Are you sure, Cy?" Robin asks in a high pitch tone. The Boy Wonder is struggling to get his emotions under control.

"I'm sure," Cyborg keeps his face in his hands. "He is starting to remember. It's a matter of time before he leaves the team for good. We need to tell him now. It's the right thing to do."

"I have already informed Beast Boy about my part," Starfire says sadly. "He will not speak to me. It is what I deserve. It is up to you two to make everything right."

"He already knows everything," I say in my usual monotone, making the three Titans jump. Cyborg lifts his head and stares at me in horror. The others follow suit. "I gave him back his journal."

"I thought you didn't want him to regain his memories that way," Robin says. "You said it would crush him all over again."

"Yes, and I planned to keep the truth from him for as long as I could. That is until he remembered me, and our relationship. I decided to let him find out the truth because I knew he would let me be there for him. Now that he knows everything, we're going to do what we originally planned and leave the Titans. It's time for us to move on."

A painful silence passes between us. "I wish you both would not leave us, Friend," Starfire says sadly. "However, I understand. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness."

"What she said," Robin agrees. He lowers his head. "All my life I wanted to lead a great team and be the best superhero I could be. I failed. If there is ever a chance Beast Boy could forgive me for what I've done, I hope we can start this team over and do things the right way."

I nod, not sure what to say. Cyborg looks at me, tears rolling down his cheek. "Rae," he chokes out. I don't correct him on my name. I just stare at the devastated expression on his face. "T-take care of BB for me. Despite everything I did, he was always my best friend, and always will be."

"I will."

Unable to stand being in the room much longer, I grab my teacups and boxes from the cupboard and hurry out of the room. When I pass by Garfield's room again, I realize that he's not in there. Where did he go? Oh well, I'll find him later once I'm finished packing.

Beast Boy

When I return to my room after an hour on the roof I don't start packing right away. Instead, I spend the rest of the morning cleaning and throwing away all the things I don't need. I don't want to leave what is to soon be my former room a complete pigsty. I can't help but feel like I've done this before. It doesn't take me long to get my room straightened up. Most of my empty pizza boxes, random papers, and various other garbage are gone. Mainly I've just been picking up my clothes, comic books, and video games off the floor.

The more things that I put into my brown suitcase the happier I feel. I don't think I've felt this relaxed in a long time. The better I feel, the more confident I am that I'm making the right decision to leave. It will be better for my mental health to start over. Still, despite everything Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg have done to me, I know that I will miss them and everything we have been through before things changed. The last item I put in my suitcase is my journal. I can't go anywhere without it because it's a part of me. Besides, it's about time I started recording positive entries for a change.

My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I never got around to having breakfast. I decide to go back to the kitchen to grab a bite. Besides, it would be a good idea to take some tofu with us to Africa. My stomach tightens in knots with nerves just at the thought of running into one of the Titans. What if I get another flashback and it's not a good one? What if I fall apart all over again?

Be strong, I chastise myself. It's about time you stood up for yourself. Holding my head high I leave my room and make my way down the hall towards the kitchen.

When I get close to the entrance of the common room, I hear the voices of my teammates, and not just Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg, but Rachel's voice too. They must be having a meeting. Losing my courage, I hide behind the wall just enough so that nobody can see me. I hold my breath to not make a sound.

I don't hear what's being said. I suddenly remember the last time I had eavesdropped on the Titans like this. It was the day Slade released me from captivity. That was the day I truly learned what my so-called friends thought of me.

It was a normal day at Titan's Tower. There was no sense of stress or urgency. In fact, it would seem like nothing was wrong at all, which really disturbed me. Did the Titans not care that I was missing? Did they miss me at all?

I ventured down the hallway slowly, still struggling to get my strength back after my strenuous journey home. My body ached from the multitude of injuries Slade inflicted on me, but I forced myself to keep going. When I got closer to the living room, I could hear laughter coming from the other Titans. Various colors of streamers hung from the ceiling and balloons were taped to the walls. My stomach churned as the smell of steak and ribs flooded my nostrils. It looked like the Titans were having a party.

I hesitated outside the common room. I suddenly didn't have the courage to see my teammates or to tell them that I was home. Instead, I cowered behind the wall and watched as my friends sat at the table, devouring their feast, chatting happily.

"Great job on the steaks, Cyborg," Robin commented after taking a big bite. "I must say, it's nice having meat without listening to dumbass complain about it."

I bit my lip hearing the disdain in Robin's voice- a tone I had unfortunately gotten used to.

Cyborg laughed. "You and me both, man. I always got so sick of him breathing down my neck whenever I cooked. You know, I'm so glad I tossed out his tofu."

"Yes! Now we have better-smelling foods in the icebox," Starfire added happily. "I can now finally store more of my pudding."

Silent tears started falling down my face. It was difficult to keep the sobs from coming out. The cruel laughter from the others more than anything they had done to me so far. The next person who spoke completely broke me.

"You know, I never actually loved Beast Boy. I just made him think that so he wouldn't commit suicide." Rachel, said, letting out a giggle. Without hesitation, she took a bite of her steak.

Cyborg let out a low whistle. "Wow, that's cold. You should've just let him kill himself. We would've been spared his stupidity sooner."

"We wouldn't be a good team of superheroes if we had blood on our hands, would we," Rachel said in her usual monotone. "He was so gullible; he believed every word of love I said. I was only going to stay with him until he solved his mental issues. It's a good thing he's gone, otherwise, I'd be stuck with him for a LONG time!"

Rachel's cruel words ring in my head, bringing me back to reality. It can't be true; it just can't be. It must be some sort of nightmare, not a real memory. Rachel was there with me the entire time I was in the hospital. She's been so sweet and caring towards me since I lost my memories. She held me when I was feeling my worst. She cared for me and stood up for me to the other Titans. Her kisses and touch have been so sweet and caring. Was it all just an act to prevent me from committing suicide?

Slade's voice suddenly rings in my head. Raven never loved you. She only pretended to so you wouldn't kill yourself. She hates you as much as the others do.

I never thought I would think this, but Slade is right. He's been right all along. My friends were never my friends at all. They don't feel guilt for all the things they've done to me but feel guilty for getting caught hiding it from me. Raven's love was just an act. She has always hated me. The proof in that is all the sharp insults and harsh words she always threw at me. The small number of happy memories with her isn't enough for me to believe that her feelings for me are true. She hates me and nothing I do will ever change that. My chest sears in agony as I feel my lacerated heartbreak.

For the second time today, I turn into a bird and fly out of the tower from an open window in the training room. I don't go to the roof this time. Instead, I fly as far and fast as I possibly can. I don't care where I'm going, I just want to be as far away from the tower as possible.

Once I think I'm far away enough I land on the ground and turn back into myself. In my desperation to get away, I find myself in the middle of nowhere. The grass surrounding me is sparse and dead. In front of me is a run-down mansion. There is overgrowth all over the building and some of the windows are broken. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I've been here before.

I sit down on a nearby rock, feeling completely exhausted. I bury my head in my hands. I will not cry I tell myself, trying with all my might to hold my tears back. All my emotions of hurt and betrayal are consuming me. I can't stand it. Rachel doesn't love me. She never loved me. I don't want to live anymore. I should just end it and be done with it.

You have never been shown the appreciation you deserve.

I think about my time as Titan, desperately trying to think of something positive. I come up with nothing. Instead, all I can think about is all the time the Titans put me down, called me stupid, and groaned every time I tried to lighten the mood. Every insult Rachel ever threw at me goes through my mind, along with the number of times she's hit me for saying something dumb. That isn't love, it's hatred. She knew what the others were doing all along but didn't care. She only started to pretend to care when I almost ended my life. I was so stupid to think that she ever loved me at all. Nobody cares about me. The only one who did was…Slade.

I will make sure you're appreciated.

I hear crunching sounds approaching me. I lift my head in my hands. My body goes rigid seeing one of Slade's henchmen in front of me. How did Slade know I was all the way out here? Is he following me? The henchman says nothing, as always. Instead, he motions me to follow him.

Without thinking about it I stand up from my position on the large rock and follow the henchmen towards the entrance to the mansion. What am I doing? I think to myself. Why aren't I fighting this villain? Or running away? Despite these thoughts, my feet continue to follow.

The henchman leads me into a large room. The walls and floor are made from a grey stone with candles burning in each corner. Cobwebs are hanging from the ceiling. A blue rug is on the ground in the middle of the floor leading up to a large chair. It's almost like a throne room.

Slade is sitting in the chair. His hands are folded as if he's praying. He looks completely relaxed. "Welcome home, my apprentice."

I stand as far away from the masked villain as I possibly can. Despite everything that's happened today, I still don't trust him in the slightest. I ask myself for the thousandth time why I'm here. "I'm not your apprentice. I'm not even sure why I'm here."

"You've realized that I was telling you the truth the last time we met," Slade says. "Now you want more answers." I glare at him. I hate the fact that he's reading my mind. What I hate the most is the fact that he was right the entire time. "Ask me anything you like. I promise I will give you an honest answer."

"How do you know about everything that's happened to me? How long have you been tracking me?"

"I hid around the corner after our battle. I watched Raven abandon you and witnessed the other Titans as they belittled you and left you for dead. I should have taken that opportunity to show you some kindness but knew you wouldn't trust me."

"If you care so much about me, then why did you cause these injuries." I shoot back, rubbing my chest subconsciously. I can still feel the indentions from the chain that was wrapped around me. "If you really wanted me to be your apprentice, torture isn't exactly the best way to go about it."

"I admit, that was an error on my part. As I said before, I'm not exactly the nicest guy. However, if you join me willingly, not only will I treat you the way you deserve, but I'll also make sure that nobody ever hurts you again, myself included. Most of all, I'll help you get revenge on the people who hurt you. That is a promise I can keep." Slade gets up from off his chair and approaches me. I want to run, but my feet stay where they are. He extends his hand. Nestled in his palm is an orange badge with an S shape in the middle.

I'm the only one who is trying to do what's best for you, Garfield.

I feel my resistance faltering. After everything Slade has done to this city and to Terra, he should be the last person I'd want to associate with. I've been a hero for such a long time. It's all I know or want to be. I don't want to hurt anyone. The more I think about it, being a hero hasn't gotten me anywhere. I never got the credit I deserved whenever the Titans saved the day. I have never been treated with respect by the Titans or the citizens of Jump City. I'm just the freak. The weakest Titan of them all. Maybe the other side is better. That way I can make sure no one hurts me ever again.

I extend my hand to take the badge from Slade. My body freezes when I hear a familiar voice shout my name.

"BB! STOP!"

To be continued...