Alice at Last

Chapter Eight

"Do you suppose that she's alive and well?" Mirana inquires aloud yet again.

"I haven't a doubt," Chessur hums as he appears. "You fret far too much."

"But by what she has told me before, her family cares little of her. What if she has passed years ago? To which we are unaware? What if they were incapable of helping her and I merely left her to die?" Her eyes are filled with pure sadness and despair, and although she knows it to be unlikely, she wishes for some sort of confirmation that Alice is indeed still alive.

"McTwisp has gone out just this morning in search of her. He will be back. Hopefully with the right Alice," he adds beneath his breath. "Regardless, you should rest. Frabjuous Day is approaching and you must be prepared to retake the throne. The day shall be draining for all of us."

"You are so certain that the champion can defeat the Jabberwocky. But at what cost? Who shall die that day?" She shifts her attention to the armour, the hands outstretched, waiting for the blade to fall neatly in place. "I do not even have possession of the sword. It is… At Salazum Grum," she whispers, wondering how everything is going to turn out. It should turn out how the Oraculum tells it but she finds it impossible with all these factors in such a short span of time. But this is Underland, where everything is possible and the events manage to piece together, bit by bit, and all becomes as it should be.

She has reviewed the Oraculum. She now knows who her champion is. She has no fear of the crown being lost, of her throne not being reclaimed. But the Oraculum tells only of the Jabberwocky's defeat. She does not know the fatalities of her soldiers, the injuries, nothing of what occurs after. To her knowledge… Alice would not have any form of training prior to fighting the Jabberwocky. She is subject to injuries that can very easily lead to her death after a given time… and if she is to be poisoned… Her mouth grows dry. To have Alice back for a few days and then immediately lose her forever sickens her. She doesn't want it to happen and for Alice to die for her crown sickens her more than she presumed possible. It even manages to bring her to the brink of anger, how she is the sole reason… She is unsure if Iracebeth knows who it shall be performing the deed.

"You fear for her safety."

"How could I not? Alice is… She's like y child. I know, compared to my overall age that is only such a short span of time but I love her dearly and you are well aware that I think of her daily. To let her go out and fight for me without fearing that she is to get hurt is like sending Racie off to the Abovelands and not worry about her returning home safely. Although now that I bring it up, if Racie finds out who will fight against her Jabberwocky, maybe she will accept the notion of ruling side by side."

"You believe that Alice is more important to her than both her Jabberwocky and the crown?"

"Why not? I saw how much she loved Alice too. It certainly wouldn't be that inane for her to stop for Alice's safety, would it?"

Chess sighs, floating over to the armour, examining it. "My, you have kept this rather spotless. I don't believe that I can see a single speck of dust upon the metal."

"I enjoy cleaning it," she responds as she looks over her left shoulder. "Especially now that I know whom it belongs to. She needs to have the very best we can offer her."

"You've done an amazing job. Can I breathe on it to fog it up?"

"Why?" Mirana inquires, arching a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "What's the purpose?"

"Just because I can do so. It's far too clean for my liking."

She chuckles softly. "I suppose. I have yet to clean it today so knock yourself out."

He purrs happily before resting on the shoulder of the armour, laying his head against the shoulder plate. He breathes onto it before licking the fog away and all Mirana can do is watch in amusement and confusion. "Cats are strange."

"I like licking cold things. It relaxes me," he replies smoothly.

"There's ice in the kitchen that you can help yourself to anytime."

"Not a fan. They keep giving me burns on my tongue." He yawns, stretching. "The metal also feels good. Cools me off quickly and keeps me cool in my sleep. I have yet to find something else than the armour that can do so."

Mirana smirks slightly. "I really wish I could be so at ease like you are."

"Unfortunately, you do not have the ease of escape as I do. So it's that much harder to survive and escape dangerous situations."

"And eavesdrop," she gives him a knowing look as he gives an expression of mock hurt and surprise.

"My queen, are you insinuating that I use my powers to spy and not for the good of the people? I do suppose that it isn't nearly as fun though," he chuckles, yawning before evaporating. She expects him to be there still so she remains there herself, content with the company despite the fact that he isn't visible. Yet she grows bored shortly after, often times as she does and decides that she is to pay the roses a visit within the garden.

Upon entering the garden, she pays no mind to the red rose bushes that are tended to by the gardeners, yet ignored by her. While she doesn't mind them in the garden, she usually focuses her attention upon the blue roses, even disregarding the white ones that she has always cared for. She felt it necessary to spend extra mind to the blue ones, as though believing in some way that they are connected to Alice, and that upon spending more time to those that she is ensuring Alice is alive and well.

She's unsure how the idea came about, or when it did but as soon as it entered her mind, she was incapable of thinking otherwise. She immediately goes towards a solitary blue rose bush that is a bit further from the other bushes but she did that with intention, for this specific one was the rose bush that Alice had planted.

She had been so incredibly proud of it too, saying that she couldn't wait until it grew to be large and beautiful like the others. And she never saw it happen. Of course, when she returns but it wouldn't exactly be the same as opposed to being there and watching it grow each year. And she is aware that others wouldn't see the importance, that it was just a rose bush and nothing more, and she would have thought the same thing. But Alice had gotten so incredibly excited upon planting the single seed, for she had been in awe how something so beautiful and massive could develop from one seed that was carefully tended to with love each day.

And treating it with love is precisely what Alice did. Sometimes she would spend some days with the plant, noting that it appeared sad and she didn't want it to be alone. Mirana found the idea ludicrous but she didn't want to upset the child so she allowed her to do what was she believed best for the plant. Even thinking about it now continues to amuse her. But she is happy at how bright and beautiful the rose bush did turn out to be and she hopes that Alice will love it as much as she does.

She sits down besides the bush, carefully picking a rose, allowing it to rest in the palm of her hand. She lightly traces the delicate petals, enjoying their softness and smooth texture.

"If you keep picking the roses, there aren't going to be any for Alice to look at," the gardener speaks. She's an elder and has been tending to the garden for around a century now.

"I know," Mirana whispers sadly. "I just… can't help it. I can't… Help but take a new one. The blue ones are so delicate that they die only days after being picked, even wile submerged in water. But I feel alone or simply not right if I don't have a blue rose with me, as odd as that sounds."

The older chuckles gently as she begins to cut off excess branches from some bushes. "The rose is a representation of someone you love dearly. OF course you're gonna have some form of connection with it. And at the moment, well, that's the closest thing you have of her. Do not worry, my Queen. Love is a quite powerful force. She will come back here for she has those who love her dearly." She places a gentle hand upon her shoulder to reassure her.

Mirana relaxes upon that, for the gardener always had a knack of helping her feel better to which she saw her as a second mother. "Thank you, Ingrid," she smiles, standing off the ground before sitting on the bench, staring over the balcony, enjoying the view of the waterfall and how the sun shone its rays upon the water. "I wish Alice could have experienced the waterfall when she wanted to. I was too worried for she always ran off out of curiosity and it's much too dangerous to allow her to run freely."

"She always did have a habit of rushing off to dangerous areas," Ingrid smirks, remembering the child watch her tender to the garden. "I found her hanging off a tree branch one time. She wasn't hurt, nor was she afraid. She was hanging on and she asked for some help to shift onto the branch properly so she could watch the sunrise against the waterfall. I said to her that I'm not tall enough and she said that I should make myself taller for she had seen people do so here. I was going to get you because you're aware at how limited I am to my height until I saw the cat appear and help her sit the proper way on the branch. It was just the most precious thing. I swear," she reminisces with a soft laugh, carefully pruning around the flowers. "Absolutely the most precious thing…" She looks up at the queen. "She saw you as her mother. She loved you precisely the way that you did your parents. I hope for her sake that she's being treated right up in the Abovelands. Both for her sake and yours, my Queen." She goes quiet and returns to her work, comfortable silence falling between the two.

xxxXxxx

Here she is. Back in the room, the figures standing tall, silent, waiting for a voice to order them to a specific square. But none comes. It's been years and the last sound in the room was a cheerful voice yelling her victory, her first true victory for the queen didn't attempt to help her; she played how she would play against any rival. And as soon as the doors shut all those years ago, it grew silent.

Iracebeth would visit the room whenever she was in a particularly foul mood, when the day got the better of her and all she wanted was to be alone but the bedroom was too large and didn't hold comfort anymore due to an incident a few years back. She had a new sanctuary now, a haven that provides happy memories and only happy memories, to where she could swear that she hears the excited child calling out to the pieces, eager to play regardless if she were losing.

But it's quiet. Iracebeth walks forward, staring up at the once black pieces that had been painted blue, the checkboard blacks, blue as well. She runs a finger over the chess piece, a thin coat of paint coming off, covering her finger. Yet she doesn't wipe it away, not having a will to. So all she does is stare before sitting down on the floor. And as she sits there, she feels alone, completely and utterly alone.

It's not the alone that she likes. Often times, she would go to secluded areas if the day were getting the better of her, just to have that silence and recollect herself. And then she would wait until the world was approachable again. No one dared bothered her except Alice. She had entered her room one night when she was feeling off and just went into her arms. She didn't say a word and she fell asleep and as she slept, Iracebeth remembers feeling content, the anger and fatigue of life slipping away to which she dozed off an hour later.

Each time she walked off to be alone, Alice would follow without a word. The child knew that she gave Iracebeth a great deal of comfort by just being present. She didn't leave because she wanted to be left alone. She left for silence and peace. That she knows now. And although Alice left years ago, she still waits for that door to open and for her to climb into her arms, allowing her to feel wanted and loved.

"Why are you still waiting for her? She left Underland. She isn't coming back," comes the voice as the door opens. Iracebeth closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself.

"Did I give you permission to come and bother me, Stayne?" she demands in return.

"She never needed permission. Why do I? Especially since you've known me for longer."

"But you're not her."

"Aren't I better? Have I not been by your side always? No matter what? Even after you almost executed me?"

"You know that I leave to be alone. What the Hell makes you think you can stroll in here and annoy me?"

"I'm here to keep you company… Like she did."

"But you're not her," she stands, her hands balling up into that of fists. "What part of that don't you get?! Just because you've known me longer doesn't mean I care for you the same way I cared for Alice… and…"

"You're sister," he finishes. "Your sister isn't here, my queen. Because of her manipulation and deceit. Her lies and looks. You've known her much longer than I have. Yet you can't trust her as much as you can trust me."

Iracebeth's eyes narrowed at that. "Who the Hell says that I trust you?"

"Why would I be here if you didn't?"

The monarch scoffs simply at the statement. "I trust you to a certain extent. But… This isn't a matter of trust, rather that of comfort. She's given me a feeling I haven't had in years. Her presence relaxed me… If you were to sit here in silence like she did, it wouldn't have the same effect." She pauses. "I had a connection to her. A connection that I haven't had since my mother and father died and Mirana," she spits out the name, "… took the crown." Since Alice had left, despite the younger of the two wishing to continue the visits, she had stopped them and returned once again to the bitter self she was towards her sister. "But there's no use talking to you anymore, now is there? You can't give me what I need and your mere being in this room annoys me." She now glares at him. "Leave."

"Perhaps you forget that I'm not the bad guy here. Nor have I been."

"You lost my respect the moment you attempted to rape Alice," she snarls. "Was the time in the dungeons not enough for you? Cause I can happily arrange you to be sent there again."

"It was one time and I failed," he hisses. "Why are you still on about that?"

"Because it showed me who you truly are, Stayne. A person with no morals just to satisfy his lust… She was a child. She did nothing wrong and you were going to subject her to that torture."

"You torture people every day. Why is she different from the rest?"

"I'm not having this conversation again. And if you bring it up once more, you might just be the next one with your head missing. Both on your neck and in between your legs. Then you can't jerk off like the disgusting pig you are. I won't repeat myself… Leave."

He stares at her for a long while in silence, watching as she ignores him, returning back to her thoughts and focusing on the chess pieces. He turns and leaves with that, the two large doors banging shut announcing his exit to which the Red Queen breathes a sigh of relief, a feeling of exhaustion falling upon her shoulders. All she wants to do now is lay there and either cry or drift off to sleep. She is unsure of which to do. But it wouldn't be the first time. Her court members have spotted her before but never spoke of it, not even amongst themselves in fear of being ratted out, especially for such a touchy subject of this.

xxxXxxx

Alice shifts in bed, groaning as she woke up from the dream that she's experienced absolutely each and every night. She rubs her eyes and sits up, sighing in annoyance upon seeing that she's up before the sun yet again. She doesn't bother to look at the time for she knows well it's the dead of night. She's quick to throw on a dress and cloak, not wanting to be constrained with a jacket before she leaves her home, a lantern in hand.

It's the same thing nightly, so much so that she has everything set up accordingly for the midnight ride upon her horse in the stables next door. Her family, despite her father's passing, is still wealthy, collecting the passive income that Lord Ascot gives due to being a good family friend and an old companion of her father.

"Come on, Blanca," she whispers to her horse who is already awake, used to the nightly strolls. She doesn't saddle her, not wanting to put the unnecessary amount of weight on her back for she knows too much each night will eventually take a toll on her. She leads her outside, the horse nudging her gently before laying down in order for Alice to mount her easily.

The ride is typically quiet, the way the both of them prefer. Alice, so she could get lost in her thoughts, and Blanca, for she grows tired of the other horses making noise. "Is there something wrong with me, Blanca?" she addresses her companion, gently stroking the white horse's mane. "I certainly don't think so… But sometimes I do." The horse grunts gently, as if arguing against the statement to which Alice chuckles. "Sometimes I think you can understand me. But I know that you know far more than what we give credit to… I'm just truly glad that you stick with me. You've been the most loyal friend I've had ever since Dinah passed…" She smiles slightly as she thinks about her past cat. "Animals are far better than people and nothing shall convince me otherwise." She leans over, pressing a kiss on the horse's head before she grows quiet once more.

About an hour later, weariness takes over and she turns the horse around, leaning against her as she begins to fall asleep, knowing well that Blanca knows the way home and that she would ensure that they get there safely. She trusts the horse far more than she would put any trust in a person. Of course, she wouldn't let anyone know that information. They would grow too easily offended and whilst she knew it to be true, she has no intention upon hurting anyone.

Upon reaching the stables, she leads Blanca back to her own stall, giving her a few sugar cubes as a reward. She presses a kiss to her snout, rubbing it. "Thank you. Sleep well and pleasant dreams," she smiles gently before leaving.

A part of her wishes to stay for she has been found laying next to the horse, asleep before, despite constant reprimands from her mother. But she knows that tonight simply isn't the night for she had to go to Lord Ascot's manor for a party or celebrations of sorts. Akin to the majority of her life, she hasn't been given much information and has consequently been left in the dark. She has grown past the stage of it annoying her to where now she is simply tired of it. She feels more of a distant relative than a daughter or sister.

It's been that way for years, even when her father died. She wasn't told until the day of the funeral due to how "emotional" she was. It isn't proper for women to show emotions. They are to remain as stoic as possible, especially those of the upper class. They are examples to those lower than them, of how civilized women must truly be. For it was "proper". God, she despises that word. Proper. Who even came up with that term? What defined proper? And why does it dictate every aspect of her life? She wouldn't be surprised if she found out there was a proper way to breathe, for there was upon everything else. A proper way to drink, eat, sleep. Hell, even stand. A proper way to stand, to which she had been taught at a young age. She recalls the lessons, too. Her governess was cruel and mean, often resulting upon physical discipline.

She still has scars upon her back from the strikes of the wooden stick. She still has fears of her coming back despite the fact that she has been dismissed years ago. She had cried to her mother who merely said that she had it worse when she was a child, that Alice has gotten a rather kind governess. Her father was the one to fire the governess upon seeing the emotional and physical damage happening to his daughter.

He said that he didn't understand why they were tormenting her, to which her mother said that it's only proper for a girl to be taught strictly in order to become a good wife and mother to her husband and children. Yet her father was having none of it, and threatened divorce upon his wife if he found out it were to occur again, despite the lengthy and rare process.

Margaret went through something different and she wasn't abused as much for several reasons but one was mostly for her submissive behaviour and the fact that Alice always has been defiant.

And as Alice lays in bed, thinking all this over, she grows fearful that she is stuck and bound to this life, and that she has no way out… That she cannot have control of her life and make her own path. To that thought, she weeps herself back to sleep.