Notes: Hi everyone! Hope you had an amazing weekend! All of your comments have meant so much to me you guys honestly don't know! I appreciate them so much!
This chapter is probably my favorite one I have written. Sadly we don't get interaction between the girls, but I hope you all will still like it! Please please please let me know what you think!
Next chapter will be the girls first date/hang!
How the hell does she know my full name? I hate when people call me Calliope. Why didn't it bother me as much when she did? Also, that wink? What the hell was that? You know what, who cares if I'm attracted to Arizona? So what? She's not interested in me, and even if she was, it's just an attraction, nothing more. Ok Callie, what is going on in your mind? You obviously need sleep.
With that, Callie went home and slept. She didn't have work this weekend so she was very grateful to be able to sleep in. It was almost noon when Callie finally decided to get up and out of bed. That was almost unheard of in her life, but even though she was very tired, a lot of her night was spent tossing and turning and thinking about Arizona.
It's time to talk to Mark. I just gotta try and bring things up without bringing them up. I need to figure out how to understand what I'm feeling without telling Mark about her leg and all that. I also need to be careful how I tell Mark, so he doesn't turn it into something it's not. Ughhh when did everything get so hard?
Callie pulled out her phone and started texting Mark:
Callie: Hey Mark. Want to hang and watch the game in an hour?
Mark: Hey. I can't. I'm going out with Lexie for lunch. I'll be home tonight if you want to catch up.
Callie: Ohhh things are getting serious with Little Grey aren't they? ;)
Mark: Shut up Torres! I don't tease you about Robbins
Callie paused after reading that text. What the hell does he mean by that. Why would he compare his relationship with his girlfriend to mine with a coworker? Every time I think I want to figure out what the hell is going on with me and Arizona, Mark comes in and ruins it. I don't want him to be right or deal with his teasing.
Callie: What the hell does Arizona have to do with this?
Mark: I just assumed that you wanted to talk about her when you wanted to hang out. You typically get a bit messy in the head after working with her.
Callie didn't really know how to take that. Although he is obviously correct, it is hard for Callie to tell how Mark meant it without seeing his face with its signature grin. You know what, now is not the time to get into this. Just plan to meet him tonight and I can decide what I want to talk to him about then.
Callie: Whatever Mark. What time are you free?
Mark: 7 good?
Callie: Works for me! And in all seriousness, I really do like Lexie. Don't mess with her. She's a good one.
Mark: I know, Torres. See you later.
"Coming Torres" Callie heard Mark scream from inside his apartment.
"Shusshhhh not so loud Mark" Callie whisper-yelled as Mark opened the door and Callie quickly scrambled in.
"What's up with the running and the quiet?" Mark asked, looking confused, still standing in the open doorway.
"Shut the door Mark," Callie all but yelled as she shut it for him and moved further into the apartment to sit on the couch. "I forgot Arizona was your neighbor. I didn't want to run into her out there."
Mark again looked at Callie with his signature grin and eyebrows raised, "And what would be wrong if you ran into Robbins?"
"Shut up Mark." Callie instinctively said before she thought about it. After a second, she realized something and asked, "wait, what do you mean by that Mark? What do you always mean by all your suggestive comments about me and Arizona? What are you getting at?"
Mark looked momentarily shocked before he began speaking, "Wow. Didn't expect you to ask that. So you are finally realizing it huh?"
"Realizing what? What the hell are you talking about? You never make sense."
"You're finally realizing you like Robbins."
Before giving away too much, Callie decided to try and play coy and see what Mark was really inferring. "Yeah. I realized she is not as bad as I thought. I. think we are becoming friends."
Mark's grin made its way back on his face and he said, "Friends… huh" with a bemused smirk.
"Okay seriously, what is going on in that giant head of yours?" Callie asked.
"Nothing, I just thought maybe you were going to say you like her as more than a friend."
Even though this is what Callie thought he was inferring, hearing Mark say it really shocked her. It was the first time she had heard something like this out loud, and it was the moment she had to decide whether or not she wanted to let Mark in on her internal struggle.
I need someone to talk to about this. I need to figure this all out. I should just talk to Mark. But I hate when Mark is right about something! He never will let me live it down. He will refer to this always! Plus, I don't even know if he's right yet. It may turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy with him if I bring it up. He believes that it's something that is going to happen, so he will make it happen. He will even convince me it is supposed to happen even if I don't want it to. Wait a second, what is going to happen? I'm going to admit I like Arizona? I kind of already did that. I am going to admit it out loud? I am going to admit it to her? Do I even like her? Ughhh I'm done dealing with this in my head.
"We aren't more than friends Mark. Where would you get this idea?" Callie decided that she wanted to feel Mark out a bit more before just going straight into it. There's a reason Mark thinks that Arizona and I like each other. What is that reason? Does he actually think Arizona likes me? Or does he just think I like her? Where is he getting all these ideas?
"I just know Robbins a bit, and I know you. As much as you both have always "hated" each other, there has been something there." Callie scoffed at this, but Mark continued, "You guys didn't even know each other, but refused to get to know each other better. You both decided that there was no way you would get along and refused to even talk to one another, but you guys match."
"We match? What the hell does that mean?"
"You guys are opposites in many ways" Callie cut Mark off to say "You could say that again" with an eye roll.
"Just let me finish," Mark said and Callie gave him an eye roll to agree to let him continue. "You guys are opposite, you're right, but you are the same in the places that matter. Sure, she may seem to be childish and vapid, but she isn't, as I'm sure you have seen now. She sees you as being removed and uncaring which is so not you. You guys both care so much about what you do and your patients. You would do anything to make sure that they are safe and taken care of. You guys match. You fit together. Callie, you love fast and fiercely. When you find someone, you protect them with a force and keep them safe from anything that means them harm. You fall quickly and often, and I'm not just talking about romantic love. When you find someone you like, you don't just like, you love. You let them into every part of your life. It's amazing. Robbins isn't like that. She's guarded and reserved. She keeps people out unless she thinks they won't hurt her and they are worthy of being let in, and she rarely finds someone who meets those qualifications. She prefers to keep everything distant, so she doesn't risk being hurt. She thinks she's happy that way but it's lonely. It takes a lot for her to let someone in and if she does, and there is even a sign that anything is going wrong, she'll run. But, if she does let that person in, she loves them with everything in her. She protects them. She cares for them. They become her world. You are both exactly what the other needs. You are so used to just letting people in and loving them, but you don't have anyone there who does the same for you, who makes you feel like the one. Robbins could be that person for you. Robbins needs someone to show her that undying love. The support that she needs and someone that would risk it all for her. You are the person that she needs."
Callie sat there staring at Mark dumbfounded.
"What? How? When? Why?" She just kept mumbling over and over until she was able to finally form a sentence. "How the hell do you know that much about her if she is as closed off as you say?"
"I know that much about her because I was her. I was her until I met you and Lexie. I wouldn't let people in. When things became hard, I ran. I seemed to the outside like I didn't care, and like I was just a pretty face, but the reality was there was much more to uncover. For me, it came from my family that was never home. I don't know where hers came from, but I can see it. I see there is a lot of stuff there that she is holding on to, but she could really use someone to help her lighten the load. It's just always been very obvious to me. You guys are each other's missing piece. You function without one another, but together you will both be complete."
Callie continued to sit there completely flabbergasted and confused by the insight that Mark was sharing with her. As much as she didn't want to admit Mark was right, just by beginning to get to know Arizona, he is onto a lot of what she tries to hide. She decided to dig a bit deeper.
Maybe I don't need to know myself that well, maybe Mark can tell me more about what I can't figure out. It's worth a shot.
"Okay, fine. Let's say everything you just said is true… hypothetically." Callie still didn't want to admit that Mark was correct about anything. "I've never been with a woman. I'm not interested in women. Where would you get the idea that I'd even be interested in being with Arizona."
With that statement, Mark brought back his signature grin and said, "Are you telling me you're not attracted to Robbins?" Callie's face began to get an annoyed look due to Mark's response, but before she had the chance to respond, he continued, "I'm just kidding! Well actually, I'm not. That's definitely a question I want to ask, but before that, I want to answer your question. You love people. You always have. You're kind and caring, and you let people in and you love them. You have never really looked beyond who someone is. You don't care where they come from, what language they speak, what religion they are. You just love. I think you are open to loving anyone romantically, but you've repressed that part of yourself because of your upbringing. You know that as strong Catholics, your parents wouldn't approve. You never opened yourself up to the possibility of loving another woman. However, I always knew if you got to know Robbins, there would be something there. I actually assumed that you would realize you were into women before this, but I understand why it hasn't happened. For you, it's never been about the gender of the person, it's just been about the person. It just happens that this time the person is a woman."
It was almost like Callie was hit by a truck at that moment. The truth behind Mark's words was unavoidable. If it weren't for these last few weeks with Arizona, she would think he was crazy, but it all just makes sense. How could I not realize this? How could this be true? Is this true? Am I just making something bigger than it needs to be in my head? Could I even be with her if I did like her? Why is it all so complicated?
"Who are you, and what have you done with Mark? You've never been this insightful. Also, why the hell have you not said any of this to me before? "
"I didn't want to influence you and your life. You need things to happen on your own terms. You don't need or want me messing with them. But sometimes you can see something that others can't. This time I did. It was like how sometimes when you see someone doing a puzzle and you automatically are able to see that two pieces that don't look like they would go together, fit together. It doesn't work with all or even most of the pieces, but sometimes you can just see something is there. A lot of times you're the only one who can see it at first. Others sometimes have to wait till more of the puzzle is completed to see that the pieces do fit, but when they do, it becomes so blatantly obvious that everyone wonders how they didn't see it before."
"What has Lexie done to you? You never used to be this sappy."
"Sometimes it just takes one person to show you things about yourself that you never knew."
Callie just sat there for a moment thinking. Somehow her idea to talk to Mark to give her clarity helped but also made everything even more confusing.
"Thanks, Mark," Callie said while getting up from the couch and walking towards the door, "I know we were going to hang but I think I just need to think some things through on my own tonight."
"Are you sure you're okay? We can just hang here and chill. I can shut up on the sappy Robbins talk."
"I'm alright. I just need some time to figure things out."
"Okay, Torres. I'll give you some time, but I will go back to asking questions about you and Robbins in a couple of days."
Callie just rolled her eyes at him and left, completely forgetting that Arizona lives next door. Lucky for her, she didn't run into the blonde peds surgeon on her way out, because she definitely wouldn't have been able to talk to her at that moment.