It was mid-January when Hermione finally had to make her way back to campus. Each mile marker she passed on the highway added to the mounting dread of her return.
It wasn't supposed to be this way at all. Hermione should be excited to return to Redding for her final semester at Pacific State, if not a little nostalgic. And yet, fear and unease filled her.
Her time at home with her parents had been relaxing. She'd spent many hours by the fire reading books, allowing herself to become lost in the stories of fictional characters as a way to escape the mess her own life had become. Sure, she spent plenty of quality time with her extended family and her parents had offered to help her plan her itinerary for the upcoming trip to Paris. Besides that, she used the break to fully ignore everything that had to do with school.
But now, she had no choice but to face reality as she continued with her seven-hour journey. Hermione knew nothing was going to happen. She wasn't going to let herself fall into a situation where it could. Plus, her friends had all reached out and were insistent that they'd help make sure Draco stayed far away, Tau alliance or not. But that didn't stop her from worrying relentlessly about it.
Padma had been in touch the most over break, texting Hermione frequently. She even wanted to come out and visit Hermione in Portland last week. It had taken a lot of convincing to assure Padma that she was fine and that they'd have plenty of time to catch up when they got back. After all, nothing happened. She hadn't been there. That's what Hermione kept telling herself.
Even Penelope had called the morning after the incident. Padma had evidently chewed her out for being in on the plan, and naturally, Penelope wanted to set the record straight.
'I swear, Hermione, I didn't know! I really thought he only wanted to get to know you! I never would have helped if I'd have known he was going to try and—' Penelope couldn't even say the word, and the hysteria in her usually composed voice was enough to convince Hermione that she wasn't lying. Which was a small comfort.
Hermione pulled over to a rest stop to fill up her gas tank and use the bathroom. As she was pumping gas, she realized how often she was looking over her shoulder. This is ridiculous! She thought. I have to stop this. It was one thing to be aware of her surroundings, but now she was becoming downright paranoid. She finished the transaction and steeled herself for the semester ahead. There was no way she was going to stop living her life.
Hermione changed the music in her car, choosing to blast Ed Sheeran through the speakers as she pulled out of the rest area and merged back onto the highway. Draco Malfoy was not going to win, and neither were the Taus. She would solve the mystery behind the origins of the feud and break the ridiculous agreement Malfoy seemed to think was owed to him. Or, at the very least, shed some light on why it even began.
Thinking of the feud caused guilt to build up inside her as she crossed the state line into California. Ron had made a point to text her every day over the break. Whether it was to see how she was doing, to wish her a happy holiday, or even to see how her research was coming—which it hadn't—he'd made an effort. Some days Hermione responded, and other days she couldn't bring herself to type anything back. Hence the guilt.
It was all too much. He was so kind to her, and he shouldn't be. There was too much history between the Zetas and the Sigs, and the house prejudices should have been enough to pit them against each other. It probably would have, too, if they'd met under normal circumstances. She was slowly coming to the conclusion that if she'd never run into him in the vineyard, then none of this would have happened.
True, she still would have rejected Draco, but she highly doubted they would have uninvited her to the mixer. Hermione was certain the Taus had done that to shame both Zeta Mu and Sigma Del for their mingling members. So, yes, all of this fell back on her chance meeting with 'Mr. Darcy' in the first place.
The time away from had cleared her mind from the lustful fog it was suffocating under. She knew there was an undeniable attraction between her and Ron, but they couldn't get caught. And as she thought through everything, Hermione decided that it would be best to slow things down. Everything was moving so quickly, and she was afraid she'd get carried away if they continued spending too much time alone together. Hell, they almost did get carried away. If Ron's roommate hadn't barged in, who knows what might have happened!
So, Hermione had resolved to respond cordially to Ron's texts, but never to engage him in conversation or to let him think anything more was going on between them. She'd continue the research when she got back to school, but Hermione figured she would only include Ron when it was necessary. That would be the safest route, both for her standing with the Sigma Dels and for her heart.
The beginning of the semester had proved uneventful. Two weeks passed by with no issues. Hermione kept a low profile while she attended her classes and got a head start on her studies. She steered clear of any Greek parties, but did attend Sigma Del meetings. And despite Penelope's reassurance that her sisters weren't going to give her sympathetic looks, they were still awkward.
Ron had tried to reach out a few times, but Hermione remained firm with her plan to keep her distance, even though she desperately missed him. Things were rather inconvenient, as she'd been trying to avoid him. She opted to study in her room when Padma was there, or in Dippett Hall, in the small alcove at the center of the art department. It certainly wasn't her favorite study spot, but she couldn't risk running into Ron quite yet.
Ha, that's assuming he's still holding out for you. He's a Zeta Mu, and he's hot. He could have any girl he wanted. I'm sure he's moved on, Hermione chastised herself. The words were harsh, but she knew she needed to think them, even if her heart felt as though it'd been stabbed with a dagger at the thought. It has to be this way, she reminded herself again. We can't be together. At least not now.
The sun was shining through her bedroom window on an early February morning. Padma ran out to grab them coffee at Fortescue's, and Hermione finally resigned to look into the Greek feud again. She'd put it off long enough. Yearbooks littered her bed, and Hermione instantly thought of how she much preferred them resting on Ron's bright orange bedspread instead of her soft lilac comforter. She shook the thought from her head, only to feel a longing pang in her chest when she pulled out the paper with his notes.
Focus, Granger, Hermione thought, fighting the urge to smack some sense into herself. She stared at the notes to remind her of what they—no, not they; her, remind her—of what had already been uncovered. The Malfoys and Blacks had been behind the Sigma/Tau alliance back in the sixties. But why?
She read through Ron's notes about Dora and Remus again. Dora was a Sigma Del, and Remus was a Zeta Mu, just like Ron and Hermione. No, stop. It's not about us, Hermione reminded herself for the millionth time. She started by going through the Zeta Mu books to see if she could find anything from that angle first. There were actually a few cute pictures of Remus and Dora sprinkled in a few, with notes in the margins saying, 'Zeta Mu-fuelling forbidden love since '76,' and 'it's a shame they have to keep this a secret.' The one that struck Hermione the most was, 'who knew a Sigma Del dating a Zeta Mu would cause a bigger scandal than their age difference?'
Hermione narrowed her eyes in confusion as she turned to the Sigma Del books. She flipped through the one where Dora was a senior. It didn't take long to gather information. The Sigma Dels had always been fountains of gossip, and these burn books certainly held true to those words.
Finally, after scouring through several pages, Hermione made a breakthrough as she read one particular entry. It was from Tami Karuso, the 1999 Sigma Del President:
'How sad is it that our legacy sister had to go and involve herself with that filth. Sure, we knew she was a liability since the presidents always made sure to pass that information down, but they'd been so confident she'd redeem the Black family name! Well, I guess the joke's on us because she completely sabotaged our good name. I've already been working with the Taus and the future leadership of this fine sorority. Perhaps our rules were too relaxed before. Mark my words, no Zeta Mu will ever fraternize with a Sigma Del ever again.'
Bingo, Hermione thought. Not that it gave her all the answers she needed. The part about Dora being a legacy seemed like it was the key to everything. Dora was related to the Blacks, and the Black name needed redeeming. Something else must have happened in the generation between Dora and her...grandparents? Yes, it had to be grandparents. One step clo—
"What are you doing?" Padma asked as she entered the room. She stuck her butt out to close the door behind her as her hands were full.
Hermione reached out to take her coffee. "Nothing," she said quickly.
"Doesn't look like nothing. C'mon Hermione. You know you can tell me anything."
Hermione chewed her bottom lip as she weighed the options of letting Padma in on her secret. Since she no longer had Ron to talk to, she figured she could confide in her best friend. She hopped off the bed to lock the door before returning to her perch.
"Promise you won't say anything?" She asked, and waited for Padma to nod. "I'm serious. This needs to stay top secret."
"Okay, okay, I promise! Now spill!" Padma huffed impatiently.
"I'm trying to get to the bottom of the feud."
Padma stared at Hermione, slack-jawed. "W-what? Why? We're graduating in May. Why does it matter?"
"Why does it matter? Because the Taus think they have some sort of claim over Sigma Del women! To the point where Draco tried to get me alone and force me into being with him in ways that I would never do. If I can uncover the truth, then maybe I'll save some other unsuspecting sorority girl in the future!"
Padma listened intently to Hermione's reasoning as her eyes briefly swept over the contents that lay askew on Hermione's bed. "So, this has nothing to do with the hot red-head in Zeta Mu?" Padma raised her eyebrows expectantly as she waited for Hermione's answer.
Hermione leaned her head back defensively as her face scrunched up in mock disgust. "Absolutely not! Why would you even think that? You know that was a one time dance that ended as soon as I found out what fraternity he belonged to!" She hoped the nervous quiver in her voice sounded more like indignation.
"One dance, huh? Then why do you have a stack of Zeta Mu yearbooks for your research, too?"
Shit. "I got them from the library," Hermione said quickly.
"The library has their frat insert to check out, too?" Padma was smirking triumphantly now as she sat on her bed.
Hermione knew when she'd been caught, and by the look on Padma's face, her best friend definitely suspected something. "Okay, fine. Ron let me borrow them."
"Oooh, is that Darcy's name?" She said excitedly. "And did he only let you borrow them?"
Hermione rolled her eyes in defeat. "How long have you known?"
"Girl, I knew there was more going on when you two were dancing in front of everyone at the Character Ball. Anyone could have cut through that sexual tension like a knife through butter."
"It was not that bad—"
"Yes, it was! Why do you think Draco was so pissed?" Padma cut Hermione off.
In truth, Hermione had been hoping that their dance didn't look as bad as it seemed. Now that she and Padma were talking freely about her close-kept secret, she knew that it was only a lie she'd been feeding herself.
"So...tell me that wasn't the only forbidden rendezvous you two had! What about that night when you were late to Penelope's emergency meeting? You were with him, weren't you! I can tell 'out for a run' Hermione from 'hot and bothered' Hermione any day!" Padma was on the edge of her bed, waiting for Hermione's response.
"Yes, I happened to run into him on my walk, and we did...things," Hermione admitted in a slow, drawn out voice.
She felt the blush creep across her face as she allowed her mind to recall those moments in the woods. What she wouldn't give to feel his hands on her body again or his lips pressed against hers. For the first time, she was pissed at herself for not breaking her resolve and texting him a place to meet up. Now, she was most likely stuck mourning the loss of what they could have had because of her own stubbornness.
"Hermione Granger!" Padma squealed as she clapped her hands with glee.
"Shhh, not so loud!" Hermione shushed her.
"I'm sorry, but it's been four years and you've only let yourself get close to one guy, which didn't last long at all! It's about time you got out there and went for someone!"
Hermione's mood instantly changed at Padma's mention of her brief relationship with Connor back in freshman year. He was cute and smart, and they'd gotten to know each other during rush and while pledging. He'd taken her on a few dates, and Hermione had almost let him take her to bed, until he found out she'd accepted a bid from Sigma Del. He dropped her so fast that Hermione still had whiplash from the experience. Not that she'd ever tried to figure out what changed. She was too hurt and embarrassed by the whole thing.
"Ugh. Don't mention Connor ever again," Hermione said with a shake of her head. "And you know as well as I do that nothing can happen with Ron."
"Why not? He's super sexy, and clearly you two have already managed a month of sneaking around. It's not like Sigma Del owns your soul or anything. We'll be cut free in May anyways!"
"Yes, but I don't relish the idea of getting into any more trouble in our last four months, either."
"Well, I'm team Darcy. I don't care what frat he's in. Have you talked to him recently?" Padma asked, clearly looking for more details.
"No. I swore to myself whatever we'd gotten up to was over. I needed to stop, cold turkey. You have no idea how addictive his touch is," Hermione half muttered that last sentence.
And there she was again, longing for his strong hands to caress her body. This whole absence was supposed to harden her heart and help her get over him. Instead, she was starting to find that it was having the opposite effect on her. Padma's questions weren't helping, either.
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and you know it. Has he been helping you with this whole 'uncover the origin of the feud project?'"
Hermione looked a little sheepish now. "That's where I was on the night of the holiday mixer."
"I knew it! Especially when that other Zeta Mu came up and pulled me off to the side to help get your bag. I knew you had to be on campus, but I just didn't know where. How was I so stupid! Of course, you'd have been with him!" Padma's disbelief quickly warped into confusion. "Wait, why wasn't he at the mixer?"
"He was banned, too."
"Ah," she nodded in understanding, a grin plastering her face. "Well, joke's on them, isn't it? Gave you two the chance to hang out unsuspectingly."
"Sure, we'll go with that, and not with the fact that it prevented me from being here when Malfoy decided it'd be a good idea to corner me for non-consensual sex."
"Um, yeah, obviously that, too."
Hermione took a sip of her coffee before she began scribbling notes down on a piece of paper. She didn't want to forget everything she'd just uncovered. "So, do you want to help or not? I just made a breakthrough."
Padma pretended to think about it before saying, "No, I think you should text Ron and have him help you. I'll cover for you!"
"Padma—"
"Hermione, don't. I haven't seen you this happy and relaxed in, well, ever. Does he make you happy?"
Hermione looked over Padma's shoulder and out the window as she thought about her question. Yes, of course, he made her happy! But none of that mattered. It still didn't change their Greek affiliation, which meant that if she gave in and saw him again, they'd still have to sneak around.
"Hermione, stop overthinking it. Just text him and meet him wherever your secret meeting spot is."
"It's not that simple—"
"Yes, it is! Don't make me steal your phone and do it for you!"
"Fine, fine!" Hermione gave in and snatched her phone from the nightstand before Padma could make good on her promise.
She supposed she did at least owe him an explanation about what she'd found. That was if he was still interested. Plus, she did need to return the Zeta Mu books. It'd been a miracle no one but Padma had caught her in possession of them. Yes, it'd be safer to meet up with him in the library today and return the books to him. Especially now that she didn't need them anymore.
Hermione pulled up his number and texted him before she lost her nerve. She noticed that it'd been four days since his last text when he made light of her absence in the library, which meant he'd definitely been hoping to run into her. Hermione's hands shook as she typed out the message.
Made a breakthrough in the research. Will be at Ferguson at 11 if you're free.
She closed her eyes and pressed send before she decided to scrap the whole message. Hermione gathered the books and placed them back in her backpack, along with other study materials—you know, to keep her busy in case he didn't show—while Padma nodded approvingly from her bed. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. It'd been six weeks since she'd seen Ron, and as much as part of her hoped he'd moved on because it'd be easier that way, a larger part hoped they could pick up right where they left off.