The NID and Air Force were working together to trace all of Mr. Greyson's business and personal dealings for the last five years, since assuming control over Modern Aerodynamics. He had worked for one of the Ba'al's clones, which is how they suspected he became infected with a Goa'uld. Every employee was now under investigation although the chance of another Goa'uld working in the same company was low. Greyson's business associates were also going to be thoroughly checked, in case there was another Trust like organization in the making.

Sam spent hours being interviewed and was exhausted once she was finally released and allowed to go home. Jack was waiting for her when she walked out of the interview room and they beamed down together, getting a ride from Andrews back to their duplex. The driver was nice enough to drive through and pick them up some dinner, chicken strips with fries and coleslaw, on the way.

Sam kept her eyes on her plate as she ate. Jack kept his eyes on her. He had listened to her account, so he knew they'd put her through the ringer. He knew from experience that weeks of being tortured leaves scars, but he also knew it wasn't something he could force her to discuss until she was ready. He just hoped she'd be willing to discuss it because if she didn't she'd never be put back in a command position. Back when he was dealing with the aftermath of his time in Iraq the military hadn't fully appreciated the damage imprisonment and torture could do to a soldier. Things had changed since then.

Jack also feared Sam hadn't given all the details of her time with her captors, either because she couldn't talk about it yet or because she didn't remember it all yet. He worried when these memories hit her, she would try to handle it alone. She'd spent so much of her life trying to hide any signs of vulnerability and that is hard habit to break. She knew his history even though they had never discussed it. Hopefully that would help her feel comfortable talking to him.

"I'm pretty tired. I'm going to get a quick shower and hit the sack."

"Sounds like a plan to me. I'll clean up out here and join you in a bit, if that's ok."

"Of course it's ok, Jack." She shook her head like he was being silly. Moments later he heard the water running so he took his time cleaning up and checking the doors to be sure everything was locked up. The water didn't stay on long, which wasn't too unusual for Sam, especially when she was tired. When he got to the bedroom, he was surprised to find it empty. He knocked on the bathroom door before opening it. He looked around, expecting to find her standing in front of the vanity brushing her teeth. For a moment he worried when he didn't see her but then he looked over at the tub. She was curled in a ball crying. He sat on the toilet and leaned towards her, not wanting to touch her without her permission.

"Sam?" Her head stayed on her knees. "Sam, I'm here. Can I help?"

"I hate baths."

"I know." She'd told him more than once that taking a bath made her feel like she was sitting in dirty water and had teased him about soaking his knees. "Would you like help getting out?"

He could see the wheels spinning in her head. "I…I can't…I need to rinse my hair."

"Will you let me?" She lifted her head and locked eyes with him before slowly giving him one nod. He knew this would take a lot for her and he appreciated the trust she was placing in him. He placed his hand at the back of her head and waited for her to relax her head and let him hold its weight. He scooped water from the tub and slowly combed it through her hair, massing her scalp as he rinsed out the shampoo. Her eyes fluttered as he worked. Her neck muscles stayed tight even though Jack was holding her head. Jack found the right line between being quick and gentle.

"All done." She lifted her head and opened her eyes.

"Thank you." Her voice was shaky, which cut through Jack.

Jack stood up and grabbed a towel off the towel rack. He held it open as she stepped out of the tub. He closed it around her but fought his desire to hold her until she leaned against him. When he felt her weight against his chest, he knew he had permission to wrap his arms around her shoulders. After a moment his hands moved up and down her back, drying her off.

"Better?" he felt her nod yes against his shoulder. "Good. Why don't you go get some pajamas on while I do my business."

She snorted at the reminder that she disliked being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing. He told her it was silly since she spent so much time camping with men who were peeing in the woods ten feet from her, but she still avoided it when possible. She came back to the bathroom wearing a light blue tank top and black shorts as he flushed. They brushed their teeth together and then he left so she could finish getting ready for bed without him hovering.

He stretched out on his side of the bed and waited for her. She sat down, leaned back against her pillows, and brought her knees up to her chest. He was trying to appear calm, but she could feel his worry radiating off of him. She knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep until they talked, even though she had little interest in discussing her captivity.

She laid her forehead on her knees, avoiding looking at him. "They waterboarded me." She didn't have to look at him to know his jaw was tensing. "I couldn't hold my breath long enough."

"Nobody can. That's the point."

"That's the second time a shower has set me into a panic attack."

"It will get better."

She turned her head towards him, but she didn't look in his eyes. "Will it?"

"It will. I promise." He reached over and put two fingers under her chin, encouraging her to look him in the eyes. "I promise." She knew he was referring to his own recovery. She swallowed and gave him one nod of understanding before looking away. "Tired?"

"Very."

"Let's get some sleep. We both need it."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Sam woke first thanks to nightmares. She tried to slip out of bed without waking Jack, but he felt the gentle movement of the bed and rolled towards her.

"Morning beautiful."

"Sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep. I'm going to go make some coffee."

"Coffee sounds good to me."

"Really, you can go back to sleep."

"I could but I'd rather spend time with someone I've been missing for months."

The light in the room was dim but he could see the small grin spread as she looked away from him. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special."

"Keep that thought in mind when you see how little food is in the kitchen."

Sam snickered as she went into the bathroom. "Too worried to shop for six months?"

"Sure, that was it."

Jack went to the bathroom as soon as Sam left. The coffee was brewing when he made it out to the kitchen. Sam looked over shoulder at him. "It looks like its pop tarts or pop tarts."

"Strawberry or cherry?" The light from the overhead lamp shone off the new scar on her left shoulder. He wondered how she got it and whether there were others.

"You can have either of those or blueberry or cinnamon." She grinned at him. "Have you been living off pop tarts while I was gone?"

"That is a distinct possibility." He moved closer to her and kissed her shoulder, not far from the new scar. "Maybe we should do a little shopping today."

"Ya think."

"When do you go back?"

She knew what he meant. The Air Force and NID had many more questions for her, and they wanted her evaluated by a psychiatrist.

"1400."

"We can make that work." Jack poured two cups of coffee. "We can go to the grocery store and then make lunch here before we head in."

"You don't have to go with me."

"I really need to show my face back at the Pentagon. I kinda took off with no notice. I also borrowed a bunch of equipment so there's probably some paperwork I need to fill out." Jack shrugged. "I should probably make sure Daniel and Hailey got back to base."

"Lieutenant Hailey?"

"Yeah, she actually gets the credit for finding you. She recognized something you wrote as being your style."

"Seriously?"

"She just might be your biggest fan."

Sam chuckled. "Are you being serious?"

"Very. She recognized your style of writing, so she and Daniel tracked you down. That was the first break we'd had since you disappeared."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

His brow furrowed. "You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"I was taken down pretty easily."

"You were on base. You had no reason to be wary beaming down into a hanger."

"Still."

Jack reached out and lightly gripped her wrist. "Still nothing Sam. You did nothing wrong."

"I didn't escape and then when they let me go, I spent months living somebody else's life while you worried."

"They wiped your memory."

She turned away from him. "I know."

"Sam, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Ok."

He knew she was acquiescing not agreeing. He finished off his pop tart. "I can be ready to go in twenty if that works for you."

"I'll do my best." she finished off her coffee and headed back to the bedroom.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Lunch was much healthier than breakfast. Sam took extra time putting on her dress blues. They were a bit loose on her, a consequence of the months of being underfed, but she liked how she looked. Running every day had built back her leg strength and kept her cardiovascular system in tune. She needed to get back in the gym to lift weights to work on her upper body strength though. She spun one last time in front of the mirror, tamping down on her nerves. Not only did she have to meet with Colonel Davis and Agent Barrett to go over her recollections again, but her last appointment of the day was with a psychiatrist.

The days of debriefs turned into two weeks of testifying to various committees and subcommittees and each of these monotonous days ended with a visit to the psychiatrist. She was tired of hearing herself talk but she was even more tired of not hearing Jack talk as he walked on eggshells around her. They spent every evening not talking, just existing in the same house. They had fallen into a routine where they either picked up dinner, if Jack had a late night, or made dinner together and then watched a movie that neither of them paid attention to before going to bed. He would gently hold her as she fell asleep if she scooted over to his side of the bed and occasionally there was a peck on the cheek or a kiss on her forehead but otherwise things had grown cold between them and it was slowly driving Sam over the precipice.

Dinner had been a quiet affair, like usual, and now they were sitting together on the sofa in front of the television. Sam bent her legs and twisted to the side, so that her knees were on Jack's thigh. She stretched her neck and kissed his jaw just under his ear. His eyes shifted in her direction but there was no other response. Her hand slid from his chest, up his neck, and to the side of his face. With her encouragement he looked at her.

"Jack." Her voice was breathy and made his need pull at him. His eyes roamed over her face, but he didn't respond, and she could feel his reluctance. Her anger flared. She shoved his chest and leapt off the sofa. "Seriously?"

"Sam."

"They didn't rape me. Is that why you won't touch me? Because you think I'm soiled? I'm ruined?"

"God, no!" Jack looked down at his lap as he shook his head. "I just don't want to do anything to make things worse."

"You mean like not touching me or acting like I might go postal any minute?"

Jack looked up at her before extending his hand. She focused on his hand while she got her breathing under control. He waited patiently until she placed her hand in his. He gently pulled and she took the cue, sitting back down beside him.

"I just want things to go back like they were." She played with his fingers, using it as a way to avoid eye contact. "How long does it take?" When he didn't answer she looked up through her lashes. "How long did it take you?"

He didn't want to tell her the truth, but he also couldn't lie to her. "I can't say I was ever the same."

"Oh." She looked back down. She slowly traced the lines on his knuckles. "But you went on with your life. You were given command again. People stopped looking at you like a victim."

"I did but it wasn't exactly a smooth process." He reached over and picked up the remote, turning off the movie neither of them was watching. "Can you believe I had trouble talking about it?"

Sam snorted. "You didn't have to tell everyone and their uncle six times a day for three weeks?"

"No. I think two captains came and interviewed me in Germany before I was shipped back to the states."

"That's it?"

"They liberated the whole prison when they released me. They had dozens of Iraqis to interview. My imprisonment wasn't of much interest. I mean it wasn't like a major aerospace company with national defense contracts being run by a maniacal alien."

"Right." Sam sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. "What happened when you got home?"

She waited, unsure if he would really answer.

"Sara had Charlie a few weeks before I left." Sam thread her fingers through his. "Her parents came to help but she was parenting an infant who didn't sleep through the night while worrying about me. She was exhausted when I was released from the hospital, so I jumped in to help. At first I was able to lose myself in the daily monotony of caring for a baby." He got quiet for a few minutes. "After a few weeks Sara started pushing me for more, but I couldn't. When Charlie was a year old, she went to her dad's."

Sam squeezed his hand. "A couple days later Charlie showed up with a couple friends."

"Charlie? As in Kawalsky?

"The one and only." She felt him grin. "Sara had called him. She didn't think I should be alone."

"Wise."

"Yeah. His friends had both been held prisoner, one in the Korea and one in Vietnam. They were part of a military support group."

Sam lifted her head. "There's support groups?"

"There are, for all sorts of things." He locked eyes with her, knowing she had participated in a women in the military support group at the SGC. "We talked for hours that night. Well, they talked but I heard them. We started getting together regularly and after a while it became easier to handle. Sara came back and it wasn't the same, I wasn't the same, but it was better."

"Did you ever talk to her about it?"

Jack scoffed. "No, I did what I did so people like Sara and Charlie never had to think about the ugly things that exist in this world. I wasn't going to be the one to bring the ugly through the door."

"So, you're saying time will make things better."

"And talking to people who know what it's like." He tilted his head so he could see her face. "When you're ready."

"I talk about it all day every day." Sam laid her head on the back of the sofa. "All I do is talk about it."

"You talk about it in a clinical detached way. You want to deal with it from the outside, like one of your science projects, but you can't because you were in the middle of it." He shifted until he was sitting on his hip and looking at her. "I knew you were alive, and I knew you'd make it home."

"But?"

"But I also knew things would have to be a little different, that you'd be a little different. You can't go through something like this and be the same."

"And you're waiting to see how different? To see if I'm still someone you want?"

"No. Absolutely not." He cupped her face, drawing her eyes back towards him. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to be the same person you were before. I want you to have a safe place to be whoever you need to be."

"I need to be Sam Carter and I need you to stop tiptoeing around me."

"On one condition." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You'll talk to me. I will understand, even the ugly parts you'd rather pretend never happened."

Her chin quivered. He was right. She'd been trying to not think about the worst of it, but she wasn't able to totally shut it out. If she kept ignoring it, one day it would overtake her. "Ok." She nodded. "Ok."

He leaned forward, watching her for any signs of hesitation until his lips lightly touched hers. They both closed their eyes as the kiss deepened. Her hand slid up and curled around his neck. When he pulled his head back, he saw her eyes had darkened and she was grinning at him. "Ready to call it a night?"

"I'm ready to go to the bedroom."