8.

Pansy:

Pff. I'm not scared.

Only the weak are afraid...

Aaaaah! Agh! I shit on...!

Delete this,

I refuse to let this be the title.

Has it ever happened to you that you feel like someone is watching you, but when you turn around, no one is looking at you? Pansy was experiencing something like that. It has been happening for weeks. It is true that the first days of school she was the focus of many curious glances for all the strange events around the Parkinson name, but things had calmed down by this time of year. Also, before she felt that groups of people were looking at her, as if she were a circus animal, now… she only felt one. While walking through the corridors, she sometimes feels that someone stopped to observe her. When she is in class, she feels watched (which in everything was normal since they usually make practical jokes on her), but this was in a particular way, since groups of Slytherin look at her at times, and only that someone else. Or even right now, in the Great Hall, while all the students were dining together, someone was watching her, she would bet on it, but who was it?

Angrily she bit into her cake, which was decorated with a skull drawing, and searched the Great Hall for the fifth time. That night was Halloween, so in addition to running into different faces, she also found floating pumpkins with sinister faces. Many of them had their eyes, if you could call those holes, fixed on Pansy. The Slytherin had to remind herself that although many things in the wizarding world were alive (like the Sorting Hat) those pumpkins were inanimate.

Some alien laughter forced her to sharpen her hearing. It was malicious laughter that piqued her curiosity. She smiles at the coincidence, it was the ideal day to laugh cruelly. What forbidden thing were they talking about?

"Tracey Davis is beautiful," said a boy.

Pansy didn't know him except by his face, from crossing him in the Common Room. She used to remember faces well and she was sure she had never seen him in class. Would it be a year younger or even smaller? He had a baby face, it couldn't have been older.

"But next to Daphne she can't compete," countered the one sitting across from the baby face. He was handsome, but he had huge ears. Pansy giggled inwardly, as she considered that he should join a herd of elephants.

But... even if she hated to admit it, the big eared boy was right. Daphne is beautiful. The genes of the Greengrass family were to be envied. Both Daphne and Astoria (they really are very similar) have a beauty worthy of admiration. Almost white blond hair, big blue eyes, pale skin with pink cheekbones, tall and slender. Pansy was aware that they could be models. It reminded her of the beauty of the French who visited Hogwarts during the Triwizard Tournament the year before, however the girls were prettier than the Beauxbatons boys.

"Daphne or Astoria don't count, they're practically the prettiest at Hogwarts. Some might prefer Ginny Weasley for example, but still… the Greengrass' are in another league. "Now another spoke, sitting next to the baby face. He was a dark-skinned boy, almost the shade of a mug of coffee. She hated coffee, her mother took it very bitter, one every morning.

Pansy wrinkled her forehead when Big-eared said maybe one of these days he would try his luck with Weasley in Hogsmeade. "Of course they drool over that Gryffindor too" she thought, rolling her eyes. She did not understand what they were seeing, she was quite a brute and her simple tone of voice, which stood out among the others during conversations, irritated her. Weasley could have the most beautiful face in the wizarding world and she would not care, she was unbearable.

"Like I was saying before I was interrupted... Tracey is beautiful. The best of Slytherin if you ask me."

"You're obsessed with her, man. You should ask her out, "the black-skinned boy prompted.

Pansy sighed and bit into her cake again, men were so dumb sometimes... Did they really think they had a chance with Tracey or Weasley?

"She's always with Daphne, Draco, Blaise... I couldn't. I am not that handsome."

"Bah, Bulstrode... what was her name?" Asked the big ear.

"Millicent," the others answered at the same time.

"Millicent Bulstrode! She is like a kick to the crotch. And she walks in that little group. She is always attached to Daphne and Tracey. So they should talk to anyone!" He started laughing as soon as he finished speaking.

The baby face glared at him (but unsurprisingly, it wasn't intimidating at all). After a while of laughter, the big ear apologized.

"Yeah, don't be mad at me. I'm just saying I don't think it's a matter of being attractive. Several of the popular ones are pretty average. That Nott, for example, is like a troll, but he talks to Daphne every day."

"It is true! Parkinson's was pretty normal too, and she was with them, "the black-skinned boy commented, who from that very moment Pansy would begin to call vomit face and slug brain. "If it weren't because there are several ugly people among the popular ones, I'd think that's why they took her out of the group," he said with a laugh.

"Millicent is definitely ugly..." agreed the baby face. "Parkinson's not bad…"

"It's because of all the makeup, man," the big-eared one said." Luckily that fixes it. If she is made up, I would have no problem being with her."

The vomit-faced, slug-brained boy spoke then:

"Well, I don't like it at all. Her makeup is like a Halloween costume. You know, the ones Muggles wear," he clarified as he waved his hand to let the others remember the decorations and a mocking smile formed on his face. "Surely if she cleaned her face, it would scare even more than being disguised as a monster."

Pansy got up quietly. Her jaw clenched. The exit door from the Great Hall was a few feet from the Slytherin table. But before leaving, since hearing that took away her appetite, she decided to take a small stop: there was always room for dessert, a sweet revenge...

She noticed that as she approached them, the big ear opened his eyes with a certain fear. She bowed before the boy could speak and give notice to the others. She brought her mouth close to vomit-faced's ear and loudly said "WOW!" The boy jumped in his seat and wide-eyed turned her face. In front, very close to him, was Pansy. She smiled at him without parting her lips as she did so, and knowing that now all the attention was on her, she spoke:

"I'm not surprised that the idea of seeing me without makeup scares you. I can tell that you are quite a coward."

The boy did not get out of his astonishment in time to react and defend himself from what Pansy said. When she left the Great Hall, vomit-faced, somewhat embarrassed, growled, "What the heck is wrong with that one."

. . .

Tracey Davis, Millicent Bulstrode, and Daphne Greengrass were Pansy's roommates. And thanks to Daphne, in that room,there was little peace. How ironic it was to sleep under the same roof as your greatest enemy.

"Don't you think there's an annoying smell here?" Daphne asked, within seconds of entering.

The girl spoke about four tones higher than normal so that everyone in that room could hear her. Especially Pansy, who minutes before, had been the only one there. After her unpleasant dinner she went to her bedroom. It wasn't too late yet so she decided to sit down and do some homework so it wouldn't pile up. Of course, she didn't count on Daphne coming screaming while she did them. Just what she needed to feel better, this Halloween night was getting to be a nightmare.

Millicent and Tracey took the question literally and answered that the room was the same as ever. Daphne muttered something, probably some insult, as she went through her closet and went on with her theater:

"No, pay attention. It's... a very peculiar smell. How to describe it?" She brought her hand to her chin, pretending to think. "Ah, I know! It's like a Weasley's!" She fixed her eyes on Pansy as she smirked. "Is it because you are poor and that is why you smell like them, or because now they are your friends and they give you their bad smell?"

She gave a loud, exaggerated laugh. Tracey and Millicent laughed with her, like puppets. Pansy, on the other hand, did not react. Since Daphne opened her mouth she was in the same position: sitting on her bed, leaning on the back of it, looking at her things. The pillow had been moved to the other end and some scrolls were scattered on the mattress. She moved her hand to grasp the quill, which was on the small table next to her bed, made some studs in the nearest parchment and put the quill back in its place, inside the bottle of ink. She was ignoring her companions, focusing on her Transfiguration task.

Daphne snorted, breaking the silence. Out of the corner of her eye, Pansy noticed how she sat on her bed.

"Hey," Daphne called. "Hey! Are you listening to me Parkinson?"

But the aforementioned, impassive, turned the page of the book to continue reading. It wasn't going to sting that easily.

A pillow flew towards her, missing her by a few inches. She felt the object pass by the tip of her nose and in the blink of an eye she heard the sound of the object hitting the wall and then falling to the ground. Pansy widened her eyes and quickly searched for the culprit. Her gaze fixed, unsurprisingly, on Daphne's still outstretched arm. Her brow was furrowed, the right side of her lip drawn down, in sheer tension. The position of her body, pulled forward, showed that she had thrown the object with force, with the energy of all her muscles. It was a pillow, so she didn't hold back. In the heat of the moment, having been attacked, Pansy returned fire with her words:

"I know you're dying because I stopped studying and played a pillow fight with you like the great friends we are... I really know! I understand that you need my attention. Everyone is dying for it. But the task will not finish itself." She pretended not to notice that Daphne was so offended and angry that her face was growing redder. "Well, yours does. Who lets you copy from their scrolls, Millicent or Tracey? Well, it doesn't matter. I'm sure either one does a better job than you."

When she finished speaking, she looked at the rest of the panorama. Millicent and Tracey seemed surprised at her boldness. She also noticed that the first named's bed did not have a pillow, but Daphne's did. She had grabbed and thrown her "friend's" and not her own. It did not surprise her. When her eyes met Daphne's again, she noticed that the anger with which she had struck her earlier was even greater, to a worrying level. She swallowed hard, trying not to show her nervousness. She was someone very self-centered, she recognized it. She didn't like to let them get one over on her. Her mouth did not hesitate to insult or mock. She loved verbal confrontation. But she used to escape physical fights, and Daphne's face indicated that she wanted to punch her and break her nose...

"I'm better than you Pansy. Everyone prefers me." The way Daphne spoke was close to being an animal growl. Her words reminded her of the Great Hall... everyone prefers her, it's true.

Not only was Daphne's face intimidating, so were her clenched fists, and seeing the others stand firmer, mimicking her. Pansy weighed her options. Daphne was taller than her, and guarding her were the other two. Millicent, stocky and broad-shouldered, though a head shorter than her, could push her to the ground if she wanted. Tracey was small in every way, she would be the only one she could win against, but alone, not when she had a giraffe and a behemoth supporting her. She could draw her wand, but it would be one against three, and the reality is that Pansy was better at theory than practice in magic; it was rare for her to win a duel when they practiced in class. She could see herself going back to the toilet with which she had been christened the loser on the first day. Faced with this situation in front of her, she had even forgotten to breathe. Not even her pride was above her physical integrity. "But what an idiot ... I should have kept quiet!" she thought.

"What's wrong, Pansy?" She asked, the one who was now the leader of the serpents. "You do not talk anymore? Did the cat eat your tongue? Are you no longer as brave as your new friends, the lions?"

Daphne was once again gloating in her superiority. When Pansy was still an influential Parkinson, the war was cold, it was about proving who was the best, because they both had money to buy students as bodyguards. But now? Pansy couldn't ask other Slytherins to help her, couldn't accuse the other of being a savage in front of Draco and the others since they ignored her, she didn't even have a miserable owl to come to her rescue to sting Daphne's eye.

She jumped up. The other three were surprised and positioned themselves better, thinking that she was preparing to attack. But it was not like that. Pansy quickly sorted her scrolls and books from the bed and placed them on the nearby table.

"What... what are you doing?" There was no more anger and superiority in Daphne's voice. She was so bewildered that the rest seemed to have forgotten her.

"I think there is an extra at this sleepover."

Daphne and her two bodyguard friends glanced at each other. One of them, Pansy couldn't make out which one, muttered, "Did she go crazy?"

"You can throw my pillow if you want, I'll lend it to you. Bye, have fun," she said, and bolted for the bedroom door, slamming the door with her exit before the other three girls reacted.

She had a simple and efficient plan: hide. Expecting the others to take a few seconds to react and chase her, she searched as fast as she could for that huge, ostentatious column that divided the hall from the bedrooms and when she found it she hid behind it. Pansy was never so grateful for being slim as she was at that time. She held her breath as she listened to the footsteps of the other Slytherins approaching.

"Won't she try to leave the castle?" Millicent asked.

"Of course not, stupid." Daphne's voice was sharp, furious.

"She must have left the common room then," the "stupid" whispered.

Daphne did not answer, but immediately the three pairs of footsteps were heard again, they were walking again. Over time the sound grew softer, until the entrance door to the Slytherin dungeon made a thud both opening and closing. And then, she exhaled the air that her lungs held desperately. She felt her heart beat fast against her chest, her hands sweating a little from the tension. She'd been saved from making another visit to the disused sixth-floor bathrooms, but she wanted to slam her forehead against the wall anyway, for being an idiot. Now what was she doing? Daphne would not forget, tomorrow she should pay for what she had done. She leaned all the weight of her body against her spine and muttered to herself under her breath: "You know they're the majority, there's no point in answering. You must ignore. Ignore. Ig-no-re."

After a few seconds she calmed down. She let out a long breath and straightened up. She rubbed her hands on her skirt and in passing stretched the garment to fix any possible wrinkles. She ran her fingers into her hair and used them to comb it. In the rush to escape, she would have had some unruly locks. When she felt fixed, she closed her eyes. She psyched herself up and headed for one of the bedrooms belonging to the fifth-year Slytherin girls. There were several more besides hers, Greengrass, Davis, and Bulstrode, and if there was something clear at the time, it was that she could not return to her bedroom.

She opened the door of one of them without announcing himself. A girl, whose name she did not know, screamed and covered her body. She was putting on her pajamas just when she invaded the place. Two others whose names she didn't know were lying on their beds, looking at her like she was a five-headed creature. And the one closest to the door, just standing (who knows what she was doing), was wide-eyed and cowering.

"You," Pansy said.

The girl who was a few steps from the door opened her eyes even wider (to Pansy's surprise, it was possible) and glanced both ways, searching for someone else.

"I'm talking to you, yes," she clarified as she rolled her eyes.

"Why…"

"Where, when, how!" Pansy scoffed. "Listen to me, you." She especially marked the word "You," indicating that for her, that was her new name. "I've got you a new room."

"Pardon?" She asked in a shrill voice, seeming to have choked on her own saliva.

"Are you deaf? A new room, with the most popular ones in Slytherin! For you and only for you. You'll thank me later, you. Now so long."

"You can't kick her out... It's her room!" One of her roommates defended her, since You was too stunned to even breathe.

"And who gave you permission to enter our room? Go away!" Added another, the one who had been half-naked before. She seemed to have more anger than the rest (possibly from the interruption during her pajama change).

The pounding in Pansy's chest picked up again. It felt so strong that she could feel the pulsation even in her ears. Just the thought of leaving made her throat tight.

"One in this room is going to sleep with Greengrass and I swear by Salazar's grave that it won't be me."

There was a bit of anguish in her tone, but it was camouflaged by the anger that was on top of her.

"We do not…"

"I do not care!" She interrupted. "I am fed up. FED UP! I can't study, sleep or eat in peace."

Some of the girls who were about to open their mouths to reply swallowed their words in shock. Everyone in Slytherin house was always aware of Pansy's lack of patience and irritability, especially since the day she exploded and yelled things at Draco in the middle of the common room. But even when she got angry, it was rare that she raised her voice so much.

"I'm not going to go back there to wait and see when I wake up bald or with an acromantula on me!"

"Pansy," one tried to say gently and calmly. The girls were beginning to notice the panic that was suffocating her.

"She's crazy! She is mean, she is stupid! I've endured enough these past two months of classes!"

The girl Pansy had christened "You" took several steps back to join the others.

"How am I going to beat her ?! Three against one at best, and if she can she grabs me with a larger group of people!"

"Pansy, calm down," one of them tried again to stop her. "You can stay here."

"Don't be selfish! What do they want? Money, is that it? Are you bought by Greengrass? Because to do so they must be a group of Slytherins from the...!" Pansy lost her strength when she took a good look at them: some were smiling weakly at her, others were looking at her as if she were a fool. "More idiots..."

"Did you finish crying?" The previously half-naked Slytherin asked. "We said you can stay here."

For a few seconds Pansy was speechless. Then, with a frown, she questioned:

"What is the catch?"

"Pansy... We are not puppets. Didn't you realize?"

"Oh no?" She said with a jocular tone mixed with embarrassment.

"You're our housemate... You don't need to threaten us and throw us out of our own rooms. You can ask us for help. Or do you already believe the story that all Slytherins are bad?"

Pansy blushed. Both because she had become excited for nothing, and because she did not want help. She helped herself. The others just had to step aside, out of the way...

"It is also my job to ensure the welfare of Slytherin students, if you need a room change I must take care of it," she said to finalize her justification.

She hadn't noticed before, but the one she'd caught changing her pajamas was Sophie Roper, the prefect. She took her place when she turned down the position. She was different from how she remembered her, during the summer she had grown her hair, now she wore square glasses with thin frames and Pansy would have put her hand to the fire and assured that she was flatter before. How come her chest had grown so big in a few months?

"So one of you will take my place in my bedroom?" She asked, confused.

Sophie Roper frowned. She looked at the others, who seemed amused by the situation.

"Have you ever noticed that the dormitories have five beds?"

"What?" Pansy thought. That was not true. His eyes scanned the room she was in: one bed, two, three, four... five...

With a smile, indicating that she was amused to see her bewilderment, Sophie explained:

"Every dorm at Hogwarts in every house has five beds." In Slytherin, fifth year, we are thirteen students. And all the bedrooms have five beds. That is to say, they were left over. We had to choose whether to make two rooms with five students and the one that was left with the remaining three... Or make one room have five students and the other two had four.

As you may have already noticed, we decided the latter. We are the other bedroom besides yours to have an extra bed. You can change bedrooms without problems.

Pansy was speechless. She didn't know there were two extra beds. She could have run away from Daphne from day one and was only just finding out...

"I don't remember deciding something like that," she confessed, trying to understand where the fifth bed in her bedroom had gone. She wasn't an idiot, she knew how to count, there were only four beds in her bedroom.

"You didn't do it, it was us," the girl she baptized as You confessed. "Daphne was always scary... From the first year. Neither of us wanted to sleep in the same room as her."

"She made fun of my hair the first day," one commented.

"Well... Pansy made fun of mine one day..." said another. That was one of those who looked at her badly from the first moment she stepped foot in the place.

"You must apologize," Sophie ordered. "As your prefect, I can't deny you help. But as a friend, knowing that you have even annoyed Rachel, I think you should apologize. Otherwise we will not feel comfortable with you."

"Ah, Rachel... Well, her hair was certainly ugly..." she thought.

"Yeah, yeah!" She snorted, stopping Sophie. She looked at Rachel and said, "I'm sorry. I did not tell you that your hairstyle was horrible to annoy you, the truth was I was only honest, I did not like the cut at all…" - Sophie's frown became more and more marked as she spoke, forcing her to change the course of her words, trying to sound empathetic — "but it wasn't right, of course. I didn't think about how you would feel. You never asked me for an opinion on it, I spoke out of turn."

After a few seconds of silence Rachel sighed and mumbled "okay". All the girls looked at each other for a moment (you could see the rapport that there was after so many years shared). In the end they nodded, relaxed their expressions and moved to their respective beds, continuing with the activities they did before Pansy interrupted them. Neither told her to leave, so she took it as a message that they accepted her as a new roommate.

. . .

The Slytherin dungeons have their charm, because as Draco once said, it is special. Like an underwater escape pod. When it is daytime and the sunlight penetrates to the depths of the Black Lake, you can see through the bedroom windows the water with a light green tone, from the plants in the background... it is almost magical. Not magical because of magic, they were at Hogwarts after all, but because it seems like a fantasy. A world apart that you would never think exists. Unless you are from Slytherin, of course, and you live that unique experience.

But at night, it was different. The place was plunged into absolute darkness, because the Moon does not have enough strength to penetrate the water so deep. It is different from the Gryffindor tower for example, which is so close to the stars. In the Slytherin dungeons as soon as the candles go out, you feel like you've closed your eyes. Everything beautiful goes with the Sun.

Some students become overwhelmed with so much darkness, it is almost like being blind; it can be maddening. That is why there are special candles in Slytherin bedrooms. Its magic connects with its owner, everyone has one by their bed. It is a small flame that lights up when the student's eyes are open and goes out when they are closed. That weak fire is like a small hope that tells you "calm down, tomorrow you will see beautiful things again, you will never lose the possibility of seeing them". Pansy had thrown out her candle on the first day of school.

Right now she was in total darkness, staring at a ceiling that she didn't really see, she just assumed it was there. She was used to hearing Millicent snoring at night. Daphne and Tracey were heavy sleepers so they had never had a problem with Millicent's loud noises. Pansy on the other hand, during her first few days of freshman year, hadn't managed to sleep a wink at night. After a while, she slept in bouts, from time to time being awakened by snoring, until finally so long together it worked and the loud noise became a habit, she began to understand it as silence. Like a hoot of an owl but more surly. Because of that transition when summer arrived and she returned home, the first few days she found it difficult to sleep without hearing the snoring in the background. Pansy disliked having that peculiar and strange union with Millicent, it reminded her of a married couple that gets used to the annoyances of their partner because of the love they have. Disgusting.

Driven by intuition, she wound her way carefully around the room, and trusting her memory reached the door. She hated sitting still when insomnia caught her. She knew it was counterproductive and would make her night even more restless, but what difference did it make? She was bored.

Another night, she was strolling through the dark corridors of Hogwarts. Pansy pondered what she would do tomorrow. Should she skip a class and move her things from her old bedroom to her new one now?

"If Filch catches us..."

"He won't if you shut up, Hermione," a boy cut her off, which Pansy recognized right away. Who doesn't know the name of that celebrity? Harry Potter!

Pansy put on a sly smile. She didn't expect to find the righteous Hermione Granger pacing the hallways outside of curfew.

"I'm a prefect. And you too Ron. We shouldn't be doing this…"

"It's not that bad," Ron cut her off. "You joined us. Don't complain."

The Slytherin had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Those three lion cubs were making too much fuss to be trying not to get caught. And besides... Granger's face of dread (along with rage) was priceless. She was tempted to go bother them, it would be a perfect finishing touch to end Halloween night: scaring the brave Gryffindors. But Pansy didn't want to get in trouble, and you could tell that trio would draw it in like a spotlight. Literal reflectors, they used their wands to create light. They were crying out to be found. Better to let them ruin themselves.

With soft footsteps she walked away from the scene. She couldn't stay there any longer without laughing at them. Of course curiosity consumed her. What would they be doing?

Pansy played with the ring on her finger. Seeing them there reminded her that during the day Ginny Weasley had come to speak to her. According to her, "Luna asked her to keep her company in her place, because she was very busy." How kind and unbearable the blonde was! It didn't surprise her that those two got along. Granger on the other hand never looked for her, only if Lovegood and Weasley were with her and dragged her to greet Pansy, would she deign to make an appearance. That offended her a bit, she didn't think that after the Astronomy job, Granger would start dodging her like that. These last few days she was grateful for not having put any kind of dedication in her book. In fact she regretted giving it to her. No doubt Granger didn't like Pansy... Wait. What was that feeling? Pansy was... sad? His eyes were starting to burn. That was unheard of. A Parkinson's wouldn't cry for a Gryffindor! It was Hermione Granger for heaven's sake! The nasty little girl who never came out of the library even if there's a basilisk on the loose!

"I'm only sensitive because it was a horrible night in which they didn't stop bothering me, it's not that it bothers me that Granger is more likely to break the rules than to seek me out to talk about something..." she tried to convince herself.

"Creak," a noise cut through Pansy's thoughts. She wasn't sure where it came from as Hogwarts had quite a bit of echo. "Pss" was heard now, a much softer sound. Was it something crawling? "Cof, cough, cough." The Slytherin frowned. That didn't sound like an object. "Aaahg". Was that... was it a growl? It sounded like a growl. Pansy wasn't scared, she just didn't understand what that was all about. Should she hide? She didn't think it was Filch but... The girl paled. Something had touched her back. Something touched her back. Something was behind her!

She screamed, startled, and spun around as she stumbled. There was a figure in the dark. She could not distinguish it well since the candles were not lit. That was certainly not a teacher, if so they would already be scolding her... Perhaps... Was that someone who was watching her from the shadows? Pansy gulped. You shouldn't worry, whoever it is, it should be just a student. She must want my autograph, she thought, trying to joke and drive away the fear.

"Lumos," the mysterious figure murmured and a blinding white light appeared, forcing Pansy to blink several times.

When she focused her view, she was very scared. A lot of hair. Spider webs. That was a short distance from her face. "But what the hell is that creature?" she thought. It was likely that she was shaking. Not wanting to stay to find out what would happen she took a few steps back, her heel caught in a cleft in the ground and she fell, causing her to say "Ah!" in a mix of pain and fear. From that new perspective, she noticed that this hairy thing had the body of a girl and a wand in its hand that had a shiny tip. Had she used the lumos spell? The female hand that did not have the wand, went to the hair, which when it was adjusted, showed a face that was well known...

"Granger," Pansy growled. She could not believe it! She had scared her to death. What the hell? Her hair was a mess (more than normal), full of cobwebs... seconds ago she seemed to have a ball of hair instead of a head.

"Parkinson?" She asked, confused. Pansy pouted. And the other, seeing the situation, sported a worried face and extended her hand to help her up.

She ignored that hand and got up on her own. As she dusted off her pants (she was in her pajamas), Granger spoke again:

"Sorry... Did I scare you?"

"No! I was not scared!" She growled, red.