Chapter 8 - "Normal" Stuff is Hard

After I saw Jason, Piper and Leo off on their quest (and got hit with WAY too many emotions thinking about all the quests Percy and I had been on), I shouldered my backpack and went to the pegasus stables. I had gotten permission from Chiron to head off on my own and try to find Percy. I didn't have a ton of ideas where to look, but I was hoping that Athena would guide me, as she had when I ran away when I was seven.

For starters, I asked Blackjack to take me into Manhattan before he went to look for Percy in New Jersey with some of his pegasus friends. I decided to start from one end of Manhattan and search to the other end to see if I could find any monsters or anything leading me to Percy. I walked around all day, but I was never attacked. That was super strange for me. I know, I know. Most people walk around Manhattan all the time without being mugged, but especially since my involvement in the Titan War it seemed that whatever demigod scent I was giving off was extra-strong. The lack of monster attacks put me at an even higher level of alert. I had searched most of uptown Manhattan and Harlem, with no sign of Percy. It was getting close to dark and I decided to head to his mom's place and ask if I could crash. Hey, NYC isn't the type of place I like to just camp out on the streets.

A Christmas wreath hung on the door. I knocked and Paul opened the door almost the moment I knocked.

"Annabeth! Uh," His brow furrowed. "Any news?" I shook my head and his shoulders slumped.

"I've been out searching most of the day. Any chance I could sleep here tonight? I sent Blackjack to New Jersey to search, so I don't exactly have a ride home."

Paul assured me that was fine and welcomed me in. "Sally isn't home just yet. I'm finishing up making dinner, care to join me?"

"I'd love to." And I meant it. Over the last few months, Paul and I had gotten to know each other pretty well. I had basically been a nervous wreck when it was time for me to take my driving test after the Titan War and Paul had taken me out several weekends to practice until I felt more ready. It meant a lot to me, and was such a dad thing to do. I quickly got in the kitchen and helped where I could. I didn't know a whole lot about cooking, at camp the plates just fill themselves and on quests you just ate whatever you could, but I was comfortable with a knife so Paul had me handle chopping all the vegetables.

I heard Sally Jackson come home. When she saw me she asked immediately, "Oh! Annabeth, any-"

I shook my head. Her shoulders slumped just like Paul's had. Paul looked between us and explained,

"Annabeth has been scouring the city for us and didn't have a ride home. She was hoping to stay here tonight."

Sally smiled at me. "Of Course dear. You're welcome to stay in Percy's room. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." We sat and had dinner together, the three of us. I explained everything that had happened with the search and all the teams we had out looking. It seemed to reassure them both that so many people were out looking for their son. I felt a pang of sadness, wondering if my Dad had ever been this worried about me whenever I left. Maybe he had. That made me feel worse. I never meant to make someone feel this worried.

After dinner I spent some time reviewing maps of Manhattan on my laptop, which could also show me any known monster hotspots. I was hoping to find someone I could ask more about Percy. Maybe not all of the gods were stuck on Olympus, some of the minor ones, surely, were still around. After some time, Sally Jackson came and sat next to me.

"Annabeth," She began softly, "When was the last time you slept?"

She had broken my concentration. "I slept last night."

Her brow furrowed. "Ok, let me rephrase that. When was the last time you slept well?"

I blushed at her. She laughed. "So probably about as long as me. Here." She pressed a mug of something into my hands. "You may be half god, but you are still mortal. And you need to sleep. Chamomile tea and bed." She raised her eyebrow in a motherly way. I nodded and stowed my laptop back into my backpack. I drank the tea, slowly, and took a hard look at Percy's mom.

She had bags under her eyes and her eyes were full of worry. I knew she had to be just as worried as I was but here she was taking care of me. I wanted to say something, or do something, for her but I had no idea what. I hadn't exactly been raised with a mother figure. I didn't really know what to do in these situations. I was pretty good on a battlefield, but sometimes, the "normal" stuff really gets me. I just don't know how to handle it. Stick me in a room full of warring demigods who need to be calmed down and get back on track without killing each other? I'm calm and cool. Ask me to do something normal like have a mother-daughter kind of conversation? I'm lost before I've begun.

"Is there… ah…." Sally looked at me, curiously. I swallowed. "Anything I can do for you….?" She smiled at me.

"Annabeth, you've done more than enough. You're out there looking for him, you're coordinating searches around the country, you're keeping Paul and I updated."

I nodded, and took another sip of tea. "I just… I guess I feel like I should be doing more."

Sally gave me a sad smile. "I know, dear. So do I. Paul and I can't even search, not really. We don't want to go to the police with this if it is an Olympus-thing." I nodded. Getting mortals to search for Percy could make them end up in some monster-infested areas. I hadn't thought about how much more it would hurt them to have to keep going in their lives as if nothing had happened. Sally took my hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Percy's gone missing before, and for longer than this. He's always come back."

But what if he doesn't? I wanted to ask it, but was too afraid. My dad, Thalia, Luke…. I didn't have a great history of people coming back to me. What if this time next year, Percy was just another name on that list? What if I had to have that same talk with Chiron I had had just a few years ago after Mount St. Helens? The one about how he must have fought and died bravely, and that demigods couldn't be stuck in the past as that would get you killed. That I had to move on with my duties and keep fighting the fight for the gods. That it was what Percy would have wanted and all that. And I knew all of that, but it didn't make it any less painful to hear. And it wouldn't make it any less painful if it happened again. But I didn't want to bring that up to Mrs. Jackson. We both knew the odds. We both knew that demigods rarely got happy endings. So instead, I squeezed her hand back and gave her a smile.

I finished the tea. "Um, yeah. Ok. I should get ready for bed." I pulled out a pair of pajamas and my toothbrush and toothpaste. "Can I use your bathroom?" Sally pointed me down the hall. After I was ready for bed I took my backpack into Percy's room. I had been in it many times before, but never alone. It felt different, now. It was hard to be here, with so many reminders of him. Photos on the wall of us together, in Paris, at the movies, at the zoo, at camp. There were other things too. A couple of weapons, but not Riptide. That made me feel better. It must be with him, and if he had his sword, he stood a chance. There was a photo of Percy and Poseidon, it looked like it was taken the day we had beaten the Titans. There was a little bronze pegasus sitting on his desk which had been Tyson's Christmas gift to him last year. Next to it was a textbook - British Literature - and a notebook. The notebook had a lot more drawings than notes. I smiled at one that might have been us, sitting at the bottom of the canoe lake, and at another that may have been Medusa working at McDonalds. I wasn't sure why. In kids with ADHD, we tend to draw some random stuff that comes to mind.

I looked at his bed. It was clear the sheets had been recently washed and the bed was made. I bent down and picked up one of the pillows. I hugged it and breathed in its scent. Fresh linen. It had been washed. No Percy smell. Unfortunately, Paul had come to the door at that moment.

"Um…"

My head snapped up and I blushed. "I was just-"

He held up a hand to stop me. Thank the gods. "It's ok. I just wanted to see if you need anything. An extra pillow? A blanket?"

"No, but thanks. And, uh, thanks for letting me stay here tonight."

"Anytime you need. And, uh, Annabeth?"

"Yeah?"

He stepped further into the room and shut the door behind him. "I wanted to ask you how you are doing. Like, really doing. I know you might not want to say anything in front of Sally -"

Thank all the gods for Paul Blofis. I burst into tears. His eyes grew deeply concerned and he came to sit on the bed.

"I'm just… I'm scared, Paul. And I'm angry. I'm angry at Hera, for taking Percy. I'm angry at Poseidon and Athena, for not helping me. I mean, after all Percy and I had done in the war, you'd think -" I hiccupped. Great.

Paul just nodded and patted the bed beside him. I sat down and put my head on his shoulder. "I'm a mess, Mr. Blofis. And I can't afford to be a mess if I'm going to be any use to anyone."

"Hey, tonight, you don't need to be any use to anyone. So, go ahead. Let yourself be a mess. No one is going to judge you or think less of you as a commander here."

I let out a small sob. Sally opened the door. Both Paul and I looked at her like two deer in headlights. Paul stammered, "We just didn't want to -"

Sally smiled sweetly at us, "To make me more concerned than I was?" She sat down on the other side of me and took my hand. "It's ok, Annabeth. You don't need to be strong here. Tonight, just be… well, whatever you are feeling. No need to hold back."

I had never had a parental figure say that to me. It hurt, but in a good way. I cried for longer than I'd like to admit. Finally, when the cries (and the hiccups) subsided, Paul and Sally tucked me in. It felt silly, like I was a kid. But I honestly don't remember ever being tucked in before. It's nice. It makes you feel safe. Before they left, they did a quick check, though.

"Weapons?" Paul asked. I showed him the knife strapped to my arm, the spare sword I had stuck next to the bed, and the bow and arrow on the desk.

"Is this light ok?" Sally asked as she flipped off the light. It was fine - there was a faint glow coming from all my weapons and there were glow-in-the-dark sea creatures on the ceiling. I nodded.

"Good night, Annabeth." They both said it, as they left the room.

"Good night, and thank you…. For everything."