"Come on, it'll be fun! He's a nice guy, Kim. He just moved back to Chicago, he's not looking for anything serious, and he's got a five year old. He gets what being a single parent is like."

Adam's ears pricked up at Hailey's words. It'd been two weeks since the anniversary and he'd kept Makayla that night for Kim to go to therapy. She hadn't told him how it'd gone, but everyone in the unit had noticed how much lighter she was than before. Whatever had happened had helped.

"One date. But I reserve the right to get you to call me saying there's a case if it's not going well." Adam had to get out of there. He couldn't breathe.

The mens room was empty, and he threw water on his face to calm him down. Staring at himself in the mirror he had to put himself together. He'd taken his chances, he'd tried. And now he could see that Kim had meant what she said, they needed to move on alone. But that swing had hit him harder than he expected.

What did he expect though? He'd gone on a date first. He'd seen Emma. And Emma had rang him to dump him for standing her up for the second time when she called that night. If it had been half an hour before he'd have had Kim. They'd be together.

He grabbed some tissue to wipe his face, looking back at the fine lines that had settled around his eyes, the beard that was starting to show some silver in it. The decade he'd been in love with Kim was clear on his face, and he was pretty sure that after so long it would never end. But it wasn't cruelty from her, it was her protecting herself. She'd told him why it couldn't work.

He went back upstairs before his absence was missed, filling in paperwork from their last case. If he ever decided to write a book on ruining a perfect day, this was exactly how he'd write it. Hear the woman you've been in love with for forever agree to go on a date with the guy who sounds perfect on paper. Definitely the way to do it.

Instead of waiting until the last minute to do his paperwork, Adam put an AirPod into his ear and pushed play on a Spotify playlist, determined to just crack down and get it done. He ignored everyone and everything as he worked, until Jay pushed a hand under his face to make him look up.

"Dude, I called you like five times. I'm ordering lunch for delivery, we're getting sushi. Want anything?"

Adam stretched out his shoulders, realising it had been three hours since he sat down again. "Yeah, get me a chicken teriyaki bento? I'm not in the mood for fish. Send me a Venmo for how much I owe you."

His phone buzzed a few moments later with two Venmo requests - one for $10,000 for 'emotional damages from being your friend', and one for $15.45. He sent the one for lunch, and texted Jay a middle finger emoji for the other one. The rest of the day was paperwork and discussions with the unit, Voight poking his head out to make sure the reports he needed were on his desk.

"Ruzek, a minute?" Or not, when Voight called his name. Adam walked in, watching as Voight kept the door open. It couldn't be that bad if the Sergeant didn't mind others listening into them.

"The detectives exam is coming up in May. I want you to take it." Voight handed him two books and a form to fill out. "You've been in this unit a decade, you're basically already doing detective level work. You deserve the shield and you deserve the respect. I'm telling Burgess and Atwater that they should take it too. I need that form by end of next week and you'll be signed up. Understood?"

Adam nodded, shock on his face. "You sure, Sarge? I thought with all the IAB stuff before if I went for it I'd never make detective. I'd put it out of my head."

"Don't worry about IAB. You were nearly killed in the line last year, they know you're not corrupt. Sometimes it takes an awful thing like that happening so people can see the truth of what's there." Adam watched his Sergeant, and made the first big decision he had in months that didn't involve a long night of thinking.

"Have a pen, Sarge?" Voight handed one over, and Adam filled out the form for the exam quickly. He met all the requirements, he could do this. Once it was filled out and signed he handed it back to Voight, who put it in a manilla folder.

"Good luck, Ruzek. I know you can do it."

Adam watched as Kim and Kevin were called in individually as well, each emerging with their own study materials. By the time the day was over he didn't want to do anything, just go home and relax in front of the TV. Maybe he'd start reading the first of the study guides.

"Who's up for Molly's?" Adam shook his head, but was surprised when Kim refused Jay's request.

"Hailey has me meeting up with someone. I'll see you guys tomorrow." She walked out of the bull pen with her bag over her shoulder, and Adam made his face stay still. He could feel his friend's eyes on him, and he wasn't going to crack. Not here. Not now.

"Ruzek, you coming?" Jay asked, but Adam spoke up this time.

"Nah. I'm going to the gym before I head home. See y'all tomorrow?" There was nods as he followed Kim's path down to the lobby, waving at Platt before leaving.

He sat in his car, just wanting to punch the steering wheel. He shouldn't feel this way. He had no right to feel this way. He and Kim were just friends. At that thought he let out a hollow chuckle. She was the love of his fucking life. Adam needed to get his tension out, so he drove home and changed into sweats and sneakers, before driving to the lakefront. It was dark and cold, but the path was clear and there was no snow forecast, so he ran. He ran and ran, every footstep another reminder that they didn't work, they wouldn't work, but it still hurt every time he moved.

Finally he was nearly back at the parking lot, his watch telling him he'd run seven miles. He was hungry, out of breath and could feel where his knees would hate him the next day. But it had helped him a little. At least he was exhausted enough he knew he'd sleep that night.

He was getting into the jeep, flicking on the headlights so he could pull out of the parking space when he saw them. Kim's date was slightly taller than her, and Adam had a smug satisfaction that he was taller and had all his hair. They had their arms linked, and Kim was smiling at him. Her real smile, not the one she faked for so many people.

Adam just pulled out, making his way home. There was leftovers in the fridge that he nuked and ate, before going to bed.

The next morning the last thing he wanted to do was go to work and face everyone, but he put on his big boy face and made himself get ready. He made sure his beard was trimmed perfectly, and gelled his hair back so it wouldn't fall out of place. He even put on his favourite jeans and flannel. He looked good and he knew he did, so he drove to work and decided to put last night aside. Even if his knees did still hurt. Being in his mid thirties was very different to his mid twenties.

He didn't even realise he was ignoring Kim, but he stuck to his work. Voight sent him and Kevin out on a stakeout for a couple of hours, and they sat in near silence, fiddling with their phones. Their suspect didn't show, and it was on the way back to the precinct Kevin finally broke.

"What's up with you and Kim?" Adam's head shot up from the passenger seat.

"Nothing. We're doing the whole being coworkers thing. It's hard, but we're coping with it."

"So that's why you ignored her all day? Really?" Kevin wouldn't let it drop, and Adam held his head in his hands.

"I saw her out last night. I went for a run, and when I was driving home from the lake I saw her linked arms with that guy walking down the street. So instead of being able to come to terms on my own time, it's been shot in my face. I just need time to cope. And I'm probably being too far on it, but I really need to. I see her every weekend as it is, you know? Sunday's my only day I don't see her."

"I'm sorry, man. I get it. I don't like it, but I get it."