Trigger warnings: mentions of assault, victim blaming, and panic attacks.
"Damn it," he muttered, rubbing at his strained calf muscle. Sometimes he did wonder if jumping around the court all the time was really worth it. "Should've joined baseball instead."
He stretched his leg out, flexing his foot and leaned forward, grunting out in pain, his teeth grinding at the effort.
Sweat was crowding around his hairline, dripping down his face, his neck, the smell of salt strong in his nose. He wiped away the excess with the hem of his shirt, leaning back to give his leg some reprieve.
Sighing out loud, he glanced about his surroundings, finding himself on a bench near a children's park. He was taking a break from his run, mood already darkening when he thought about exactly why he was running this much in the first place.
"Damn it," he repeated, glaring up at the sky, feeling offended, as if the bright blue itself was mocking him.
"What are you doing?"
His head snapped back toward the soft voice, eyes widening incredulously. However, the familiar scowl settled back into place soon after, eyes narrowing in challenge. "I thought we couldn't be seen together when out in public," he remarked scathingly.
"No one else is around," she shrugged, unperturbed by his hostility. She did peek over her shoulder again, though, just to make sure there was indeed no one else around.
That pissed him off even more.
"Whatever. Better leave before someone catches you talking to me." He pulled his gaze downward, glaring down at his leg once again. They've been arguing about this the last few days, so as much as he tried, he couldn't fight the bitterness that crept its way up. He wondered why he was still even trying.
"Work your strain over there," she pointed toward a couple stairs that led down to a field filled with a vibrant green, the grass cut down neatly for soccer tournaments held on the weekends. He could almost imagine the children screaming jubilantly, the parents cheering. Now, it was barren, not a peep to be heard.
"What." He deadpanned, turning to fix his flat stare on her.
"Balance your toes on the ledge of a step, and lift up and down," she elaborated, the barest hint of a smile gracing her lips. "It'll help your calf muscles."
"I don't need help," he barked, arms crossing over his chest in defiance. "Also, didn't you mention you weren't into sports or anything? What do you even know?"
"It was merely a suggestion," she sighed. "Goodbye, Iwaizumi-kun." She turned, waving over her shoulder, strolling away as if she hadn't a care in the world.
"What the hell, Noemi?" he called out, watching her depart, disbelief etched into his features.
Pissed, was an understatement. He was absolutely seething.
Ichirou had arrived home, sore and sweaty, and hoping that his sister wasn't back yet so he could jump in the shower first and hog all of the hot water.
Toeing off his shoes, he rushed up the few steps to hurry to the bathroom, delighted to see that he actually had beat Noemi home. However, in his rush to bathe, he failed to notice there were other shoes taking residence instead.
So, hearing a "Ichirou-kun, come here," was definitely unexpected. Usually, his grandmother waited for him to be clean and smelling fresh before she talked to him. Sighing in resignation, he obeyed his obaa-san's call, praying that whatever it was, it would be brief.
Shock ran through his body, and he had to do a double take once he stumbled upon to see his grandmother was not alone, his parents stiffly occupying the couch, looking like they would rather be anywhere else. It took him a moment too long before his manners caught up. He quickly bowed, his shoulders tensed and movements awkward.
"Good evening, otou-san, okaa-san, obaa-san."
"Ichirou," his mother crooned, grating on the boy's ears. "It's good to see you, dear."
Not returning the sentiment, he just hummed noncommittally. He made sure, though, to give his cheeriest smile, hoping that it would suffice.
By the sour look on his father's face, he knew that he wasn't able to fool them.
"Go," the man, whom Ichirou inherited his same jawline and light-colored hair from, commanded. "Shower, and the come back to sit down for dinner. We have much to talk about."
He bowed again and turned to retreat. He was on his way to the bathroom when he encountered yet another unexpected face.
"Oh, hello itoko. Fancy seeing you here, is this turning into a family reunion?" Mask slipping back in place, he gave a friendly wave, pretending there wasn't a burning in his gut, trying to keep his anger at bay.
"No reunion, just dinner." His cousin supplied, tone even, dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white button down. His teammates had been shocked to see him dressed so formal, used to his normal attire that consisted of either a school uniform or practice shorts and tee.
"Ah, right," It was then that he noticed that the individual before him was leaving. "Wait, where are you going?"
"I was asked to fetch Noemi-chan," he responded, opening the door.
"Wait, I'll tag along!" He went to go put on his own shoes, desperate for some excuse to get out of the house, forgetting all about scrubbing the grime of practice off himself.
"You will stay right here, son." A deep baritone called out, clipped and harsh.
Damn.
"Understood, otou-san," he murmured, tone subdued, changing direction to head back toward the bathroom.
She stared at the tall form towering over her. She tried to focus on him, to use him as a distraction. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn't dislodge the weight pressing down on her chest.
It was hard to breathe. Her vision darkened, the outsides fuzzy, tunneling in. She was starting to feel dizzy, a lightlessness in her head. She could faintly hear what could be…crying? She faintly wondered if a child was nearby. It took her a moment longer to realize the labored sobs were coming from her.
Ah.
She was trying so hard to reign in her anxiety that it just pushed back at her, springing out in full force. It overwhelmed her, consumed her. She was drowning, gasping for breath, clawing at her chest in panic. So, it took her quite a bit of time to finally notice a warm embrace surrounding her.
Slowly, everything started coming back into clarity. She could now see over the shoulder of the one holding her, could spot others peering curiously at them; her breathing started to match his, deep and steady, the weight in her chest gradually lifting.
Her cheeks flushed, embarrassed at the attention they were getting, but he stayed around her, squeezing her tight, until finally, the tears stopped falling. She had never guessed in a million years that he would be comforting her like this, but boy was she glad he found her. She dipped her head into his shoulder, pulling her arms up to reciprocate, and whispered, "Thank you."
Noemi was just about to leave when her cousin came in, having returned from a run. She watched him rub at his calf, before using the step at the genkan to slowly lift up and down by the balls of his feet. She paused to watch her cousin in mild fascination. "What are you doing, itoko?"
He brought his gaze up briefly before switching back to his leg. "I am stretching out a strained muscle."
"Since when do you strain yourself?" She mocked, arms crossing over her chest. "You usually take care to properly warm up before and after your runs."
"I am surprised you even noticed. It happens on occasion," he hummed, almost amused. "Especially as my body changes through puberty."
"Ew," her nose crinkled. "Let's not talk about that."
"That is fine," he stepped down fully, testing out his leg. Satisfied, he sat down to remove his shoes.
"So…that really helps out any strains?"
Noticing the timidness in her question, he turned to fully look at her, analyzing the girl before him. She met his stare head on, though she was trying her best to not fidget under the scrutiny.
"Yes," he finally relented. "Why do you ask?"
Once inside the bathroom, Ichirou shut the door and turned on the water. While waiting for it to warm up, he peeled off his practice clothes, throwing them near the door for him to pick up on his way out. It was then when he noticed his hands were shaking.
He clenched them tightly, willing them to stop. Trying to control the anger broiling within, he jumped into the shower and turned the knob, the steaming water now freezing cold, pelting his skin with icy droplets.
He furiously scrubbed off the dried sweat and grime and then hopped out, his movements agitated. He needed to be quick, to make sure he was completely available for when his twin realized that their parents were there up in Miyagi. And try as he might, he could not deny the weight of ensuring his sister's welfare crushing him, as if the world had to be carried on his shoulders alone.
But he would never blame her for that.
With a heavy sigh, he grabbed his dirty clothes and stepped out of the bathroom, quickly walking back to his room, mulling over what to wear. Normally, he would throw on a random pair of sweats and a tee, but his parents were here. They expected him in business casual, at least, so he scoured over the few dressier clothes he had brought, ending up choosing a light blue button up and a pair of dark gray slacks, both colors complimenting the steeliness of his eyes.
Ichirou breathed in and out, deep slow breaths to calm the anguish swirling in his chest. He needed to be on top of his game, to "turn on the charm," as Noemi had teased in the past.
"Always," he muttered into the emptiness, as if his sister was in his room listening.
"Nii-chan?" a small voice whispered out into the dark. They were supposed to be asleep hours ago, but sleep eluded a seven-year-old Noemi that night. They were on holiday, their parents deciding to rent a beach house; the siblings occupied one room with two twin beds but being in an unfamiliar environment terrified the little girl that first night, no matter how much she would deny for the years to come.
"What?" a soft groan replied, the bed beside hers shifting from the movement of Ichirou turning to face his sister. "Why are you still awake? Chichi is going to be mad if he finds us awake."
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, quietly wiping at her tears.
"Wait, are you crying?" the young boy sat up, eyes squinting in suspicion.
"No," came a petulant reply along with a few sniffles.
With a huff, Ichirou got up and padded over to her bed. "Scoot over, crybaby."
"I am not a crybaby," Noemi squeaked, indignant, yet she nonetheless obliged.
"Whatever, go to sleep." He climbed into his sister's bed and swiftly lied down with his back toward her, ready to be lulled back into dreamland. "Also, you're older, you know."
"But you're bigger," she chuckled, before turning on her side, her back facing her brother. "Thank you, nii-chan."
"I got your back, always," he murmured back before the twins both drifted off.
"You shouldn't sneak up on people," She admonished weakly, glowering out at the evening sky, the sun dipping low, still in his embrace. She made no move to get out of it either.
"I'm not sure I follow, I was asked to retrieve you, which is what I am doing now."
"What." Noemi pulled back then, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Why?"
"I am here for dinner. Obaa-san asked me to retrieve you." He sat back on his haunches, tone even.
"I wasn't aware we were supposed to have a family dinner," she muttered, finally able to force herself to stand up. She dusted the bottom of her leggings, staring at the man before her in pressed slacks and crisp button down that were now covered in faint smudges, her expression guarded. "Sorry about you getting your clothes dirty."
"It is simple to clean off. And I wasn't informed until about mid-afternoon. It too was a surprise for me," he turned around, though kept an eye on the dark-haired girl, making sure she would follow him. "It is good to see you, though, Noemi-chan."
"Yeah," she mumbled, not particularly pleased that she had to be escorted back home. "Is your okaa-san attending, as well?"
Yes," came a simple reply.
Silence surrounded the two after, Noemi sizing up the back of the broad-shouldered, taller person in front of her. She was never sure how she should interact with him, seeing as he isn't one to really socialize. He too was not a fan of mindless pleasantries – that, or he just did not understand them – but anything was better right now to quell the rapid thoughts running around in her mind. Small talk, it is.
"How is school going?" She decided to ask, quickening her pace so she was next to him.
"Fine, and yours?"
"Fine," she echoed, feeling self-conscious at her meager attempt at conversing. "Studying hard to get into university, you know?"
"If you want to attend a good university, you should have come to Shiratorizawa Academy. It is far superior." There was a hint of disapproval to his tone, as if he were a father that was disappointed in their child.
"And have to be associated with the Ushijima Wakatoshi and Inoue family? No, thank you," she scrunched her nose at that idea, bile rising in her throat at the thought of being at a place where she would be pestered about her family relations, compared to her brother and cousin, judged in how inferior she was.
"I don't get why you want to hide yourself away, Noemi-chan. You have an optimal bloodline."
"Oh my god, what am I, a dog meant to be showed off and bred with?" She stared at him, incredulous, her steps faltering. "Seriously, what in the world made you think that was an okay thing to say?"
Her cousin stopped, turning to face her and bowing his head in apology. "I seem to have offended you, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, okay," she waved him off.
Noemi started up again, her steps feeling heavy. It reminded her of the time when she and Ichirou were kids playing at the sand dunes – every step forward was dragged two steps back. It was tiring and frustrating, the sand sapping her strength, pulling her within its grainy confines.
Back then, she had vowed to never return, but right now, she wished there was a sand mound right here to take her far away. Anything to slow their approach to their obaa-san's house.
Oh, the irony.
But a family dinner was the last thing she wanted to do after her encounter with Oikawa, especially if her oba-san and itoko were supposed to be joining them.
She did not mind Wakatoshi or his mother, but she didn't particularly like them either. Both have, on separate occasions, tried to lecture her about how she needed to hold her head up, to be resilient, no matter what had happened. Noemi was someone of esteemed heritage, coming from a lineage that was so rich, it gave her the potential to be whoever she wanted, do whatever she wanted.
Except to run away. Running away was not acceptable, as someone of the Ushijima and Inoue households.
So, while well-intended, she hated their advice. It made their already distant relationship even more strained because she wouldn't heed their words. But just the idea of living a life relying on family connections made her nauseated. The price of it, of being indebted in any way to them, was just too high.
"Noemi-chan," Wakatoshi called out gently.
"Yes?" She asked, being brought from her inner musings back to the present. Their obaa-san's house was within view now. She wondered if Ichirou was home yet, or if her oba-san had arrived.
He paused, carefully contemplating on what he should say, eyebrows slightly pinched in concentration, "I am sorry."
"I said it's fine," she responded, exasperated, waving away his second apology.
"No, not for that," he replied as he opened the door, gesturing for her to go in first.
"For what then?"
"Well, it's about time," a cold voice called out.
Oh.
"What are we going to do?" Inoue Arisu whispered, eyes hardened, a scowl fixed on her face.
Noemi sat in a chair in her father's study, her cheek swelling, darkening; her makeup ruined and staining her face in patchy spots of black, small sniffles escaping. Her hair usually so straight and carefully kept was now a long, knotted mess, stringy from the sweat and tears that had soaked it. Her shirt was torn at the neckline and covered in smudges, her pants ripped at the knee and missing their button. She didn't dare think too deeply about the pain she was feeling, wincing every time she fidgeted.
Her mother and father were at his desk, talking quietly amongst themselves for quite some time, as if she weren't there. And when they came to a decision, both finally acknowledging their daughter, little would Noemi know at that time, was that they were going to completely destroy what little pieces of her were left.
"Okaa-san," Noemi bowed, movements stiff in shock. She should have known there was a reason for this sudden family dinner, for her cousin to leave his school to come home on a weeknight.
"Hello, Noemi. Go ahead and clean up."
"Yes, okaa-san," Noemi murmured before she hurried toward the bathroom.
She turned on the water and immediately jumped in, shivering under the cold spray until it heated up. Once near scalding, she started her shower routine, letting tears trail down her cheeks once more.
Those goddamn tears again. As if she didn't cry enough today already.
"Are you going to blame me, too?" she whimpered, curling in on herself.
"None of this is your fault, do you hear me?" Ichirou all but yelled at her, grabbing his hair in frustration.
She nodded to appease her brother, but inside she couldn't help but quietly wonder, "Wasn't it, though?"
She took an extra-long shower, knowing she would get in trouble for the time she spent in the bathroom, but desperately needing it to pull herself back together. Once finally composed enough, she shut off the water and rushed to her room, closing the door behind her. She took deep breaths, eyes squeezed shut, giving herself just a few more moments to prepare herself for the night ahead.
As if on autopilot, she brushed her hair and donned on a lacy blouse and dark pants. Like Ichirou, she was brought up with certain expectations, such as dressing for occasion in case anyone important dropped by. Funny how the presence of her parents being there drudged up that habit again.
Once presentable, she left the safety of her room, nowhere near ready to face her family but her time in hiding has long run out.
She sat down on her feet, greeting everyone softly. She was beside her brother, keeping her back and neck ramrod straight, yet unable to draw the courage to look her ryoushin in the eye.
"Noemi," her mother called out, a steely calm. "Time is valuable, make sure to not keep others waiting. It is unbecoming."
She mumbled an apology, and then clapped in thanks before beginning to put food in her bowl.
The quiet that followed for a few minutes was tense before a deep voice broke through.
"Noemi," her otou-san commanded her attention, head whipping to face her father, clamping her teeth shut on the startled squeak that was trying to escape. "Make sure you heed your okaa-san's words. You are no longer a child that gets a pass in being inconsiderate. Do not shame us with your disrespect."
Ichirou looked as if he bit into something rotten, face souring a moment before he smoothed out his expression. "Otou-san, she wasn't trying to disrespect–"
"Just because she doesn't mean to, doesn't mean that her actions won't have repercussions," their mother snapped. "There is no harm in pointing out her selfish behaviors now. They need to be corrected, what if we were at home with dinner guests? Her tardiness is unacceptable, under any circumstances."
"She had a long practice and hadn't anticipated a family dinner. If you would have given her forewarning, I'm sure she would have been on time."
Heads rapidly spun toward the low, even voice, stunned that someone would dare talk back.
"Excuse me, Wakatoshi-kun," Arisu's tone dripped with contempt. "I don't remember addressing you in this matter."
"I apologize for my interruption. I was just confused on why her being late was her fault, I was told about dinner during school time, so I had sufficient time to finish my own practice and get here. However, Noemi-chan had no idea until she ran into me. In terms of timeliness, she never had the chance to prove she could be punctual." The timbre of his voice never wavered, never backed down, even with his oba-san and oji-san glaring daggers at him.
Ichirou's eyes bugged out while he choked on some rice, shocked that their cousin would speak up to defend his sister. Noemi's jaw dropped in surprise, her chopsticks suspended in midair.
"Your son needs to learn to respect his elders." The twin's mother spat, turning her attention to her own sister, anger burning in her dark irises.
"He had said nothing inappropriate," Hideyo Ushijima bit back, ready to fight tooth and nail to defend her only son. "He is merely stating a fact that you are choosing to ignore, onee-san."
"That is enough," Obaa-san declared, her tone sharp and clearly indicating that this conversation was over.
Everyone turned back toward their meal, the only sound now to be heard was the clinking of chopsticks against dishes. If dinner was unbearable before, it was now downright suffocating.
Their meal had dragged on in painful silence, so Noemi internally rejoiced once it was over. She rushed to her feet, collecting the dishes with ease to take them to the kitchen. She had a plan to draw out the time it took to wash them, that way she could then excuse herself after to her room to do homework and then go to bed, to avoid any further interaction without appearing rude.
But, of course, her ryoushin had other plans. They had asked Wakatoshi to take care of dishes, to which he obliged. She opened her mouth to insist she could do them and that her itoko had a long ride back to the Shiratorizawa campus, but one glare from her father kept her mouth shut.
So, instead of hiding behind chores and homework, Noemi was forced to have tea with her brother and parents.
They all sat in the common area, sipping their tea quietly before their mother spoke up.
"We're going home tomorrow," she started, looking at both of her children, her face perfectly devoid of any emotion.
Great!
"And we expect you two to come back with us."
What.
"Pardon?" Ichirou asked, just as stunned.
"We're all going back," their father confirmed. "Make sure to pack your things. You will be transferring back to your original schools."
"There should be no more...problems," Arisu pointedly stared at her daughter. "It's important that the family sticks together."
Noemi couldn't focus on what they were saying, a loud pounding had started to fill her senses, completely overwhelming her. Her breathing shallowed, the feeling of acid bubbling inside her intestines. No, there was no way she could go back.
"I can't," she blurted out.
"You have no say in this. We're all going back to Tokyo." Inoue Tatsuya leveled his gaze on her, wordlessly willing her to back down.
"No," she furiously shook her head, unaware of the panicked expression she wore. It reminded Ichirou of a trapped animal, knowing it can't flee so it chooses instead to fight. "I can't. I'm not going back."
"Stop being ridiculous," their father seethed, eyes narrowing in contempt. "We've cleaned up your mess, and now it's time to come back."
"I'll talk," Noemi challenged back, her hands balling into fists atop her knees, nails digging into the palms.
"You know what will happen right, if you do?" Her mother sneered. "If they even believe you in the first place, they'll blame it on you. Just a pathetic whore who regrets being caught in the act, that's all."
Noemi bit her lip so hard that she drew blood, the tangy metallic taste coating her tongue. She wanted to yell, to scream, to throw tea in their faces, but she was cognizant enough to know that would be a terrible idea. With at a loss to respond, she was immensely grateful that Ichirou had chosen that moment to intervene.
"No matter what, though, that kind of attention will draw our family back in a negative light," her brother commented, his airy tone a stark contrast to his own hands clenching so tightly around his cup that his knuckles were turning white. "And even if Noemi didn't talk about…what happened, us leaving our obaa-san would seem so abrupt – weird. We did come here under the pretense that we were helping to take care of our elderly grandmother; wouldn't it be unbecoming for us to just leave her so suddenly?"
If anyone could throw Inoue Arisu's words back in her face and come out alive, it would be their beloved Ichirou. It took every ounce of her willpower to not smirk at her twin's word choice. Instead, Noemi chose to look down, letting her hair hide her face away, smiling slightly in secret.
Their parents kept quiet, weighing their son's words. He took that as his cue to continue on.
"Let us stay and be the doting grandchildren, the ones sacrificing their lives in the countryside to help out their grandmother." Ichirou's words were gentle, a lull into persuading their mother and father to change their minds.
Arisu and Tetsuya looked at each other, wordlessly communicating before she turned back to face their children. "Fine, but you two will come back for summer break. No exceptions."
The twins nodded in agreement, now not daring to speak out loud.
"Aright, well your okaa-san and I will be turning in now, we have an early train back home." Their father stood up, offering a hand to his wife before they both left for the guest room.
Once fully alone, Ichirou finally turned to his sister, a tired smile pulling up his lips. "Want to go for a walk?"
"Yes," she faintly replied.
With their ryoushin and obaa-san in bed, and their oba-san and itoko gone, the twins carefully slipped their shoes on and quietly made their way into the nighttime heat. Even though they were in May, it was abnormally warm, the temperature almost stifling.
They padded along the small pathway that led to the outside gate, the cicadas' hum the only sound present. They exited out to walk around the neighborhood, the moon shining high to cast plenty of light, bathing everything in a silver sheen.
Noemi was the first to break the peaceful quiet. "I can't believe you convinced them to let us stay," she huffed.
"I can," he replied smugly. "What I couldn't believe was how Toshi-kun stood up for you, the gall of him! Making me look bad."
"It's not that hard to do," she ribbed, playfully poking his cheek. He tried to bite the offending finger in response. "Actually, I really am thankful for both of you tonight. He's tried to help before, but it always came out so…" Noemi retracted her hand, trying to use gestures to describe Wakatoshi's past attempts at helping.
Ichirou snorted at that, but mutely nodded to show he understood.
"I think this was the first time he really came through," she continued, finally dropping her hands. "You should have seen his smile when I thanked him before he left."
They found themselves slowing down, stopping near a park. Noemi looked around, remembering that it was the same place she ran into Iwaizumi once. Something nostalgic wormed its way into her chest, and she couldn't help but sigh out wistfully. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Ichirou."
She didn't dare face her brother, shame bringing her head down. She knew, she knew, that it wasn't her fault – that none of what happened was her fault. But every now and then, especially with her parents telling her so, she couldn't help but wonder if it was. And even if…what happened…itself wasn't her fault, everything that followed surely could be blamed on her, right? All of these troubles with their family wouldn't have occurred if she never put herself in that situation all those years ago.
"Get out of your head," Ichirou demanded, lightly cuffing her upside the head. Noemi yelped in startlement before turning her glare onto him. "And shush, we don't need you waking up the whole neighborhood."
Noemi responded with punching his arm. Hard.
"Hey!" he protested, rubbing at the sore spot.
"Shut up, we don't need you waking up the neighborhood," she teased, unable to contain her gleeful giggles. He gave her a reproachful look before deciding to stalk off without a word. Still chuckling, she followed after him, unperturbed by his antics. They started their trek back toward the house, walking in a companionable silence.
Right as their grandmother's house came into view, Noemi spoke up, her voice low, "Hey…I love you, Ichirou-nii. Thank you, for everything."
Her brother stopped to wrap an arm around her, squeezing his sister against his side while saying, "Ew gross, let's not." He even wrinkled his nose for good measure.
"Okay, fine. I'll just save all my love for Toshi-kun then," she joked, but still hugging back just as tightly.
"Well, I guess that's better than any other volleyball player." He grumbled, eyes rolling in exasperation.
Noemi stilled at that. Ichirou hummed in question, wondering about that weird reaction. She sighed heavily, feeling drained from the day's events, before soldiering on. "That reminds me, guess who came to talk to me at the dojo today?"
Her brother finally pulled back to look at her, watching carefully. "Do not tell me that Iwaizumi stalked you."
"Okay," she nodded. "He didn't, but his friend did."
He blinked twice before, "…Huh?"
"Yeah, he got me kicked out for the rest of the week, by the way." She replied, tone conversational, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly.
"What? How?" Ichirou asked, incredulous. He gaped at his sister, wondering how she could be so nonchalant about all of this.
"Uhm, well I punched him." She sounded remorseful, but in the moonlight, he could see the mirth dancing in her eyes.
"Atta girl," Ichirou laughed.
Man, life has a way of keeping us busy at times. So sorry for how long this took. Thank you to those who found this story by chance and chose to follow it even though I hadn't updated in a bit. I appreciate you all!