In the funeral they held for Aya's dad, Tanjirou had done nothing but think about his family.
Him, Inosuke and Zenitsu had hugged Aya's mother one by one, although Inosuke didn't know why they had to or even the reason for the puffy eyes on the relatives. (Tanjirou had believed to smell slightly of salty water that hadn't come from Zenitsu for once, but from under the mask, but he would never know if that smell came from Inosuke or his own tears, never to be spilled.)
One of Oyakata-sama's children had gone to Makoto's funeral, too.
Kiriya, she had said, had attended on her father's stead to offer their condolences to Aya's mother and grandmother. She had looked confused at the lack of people, maybe she had believed that the funeral of someone who her father told her to attend would be of someone more important (more loved). But in that room, apart from the small shrine, the brazier and the ashes, it was only the family, Tanjirou, Nezuko, Zenitsu, Inosuke and the residents of the Butterfly Estate.
Sweat had soaked Kanao's forehead when going up to the only Iwamotos left and, just like Shinobu had taught her, offering her condolences along with a hug. Aoi had been more resolved and had shook their hands, offering a basket of freshly baked goods for comfort. Kaede had bursted out laughing.
Otherwise, Shinobu chatting in whispers with Kaede and Kaori in a corner, the trio of girls that were strangely quiet (although they shouldn't have, they already knew what death was) no one else attended the funeral.
Makoto Iwamoto had been nothing but a fool, and this was the proof.
Although Tanjirou knew that shouldn't be like that, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd end up the same. If the people he helped with such eagerness would remember him once the news of his death reached their ears, if there would be people hoping he'd have a safe trip to the other shore. Or maybe he wouldn't have a funeral at all.
Maybe everyone around him turned bitter and horrendous just like the people around Makoto had, and Tanjirou would end up being bid farewell by no one and buried because of the nuisance his corpse in the middle of the road was instead of out of love for him and his fire.
Sometimes, Tanjirou guessed, the gods were merciless. Just like they had been with him all his life.
Yuu had been tense all the time he had spent in the room, with the smell of ashes on his nostrils. Kaori had assured him that he could rest and that had made him nearly run out of the room, but he didn't run fast enough for Tanjirou not to smell his pulsing panic, one that had been dormant for a long time, or the way he nervously fidgeted with his fingers behind his back.
Having to witness the incineration had already been too much for him.
Unlike Yuu, Tanjirou was more discreet.
Nezuko had been the only one to notice, but because she was holding his hand, the one that trembled at the memory.
It had been exactly like that, how they clutched to one another once he buried the corpses of his family. Nezuko didn't remember any prayer because she was a demon, and even if she had, she wouldn't have been able to mutter them. So Tanjirou's voice was the only one heard, in the silence on the mountain and in between the snowy trees, praying for the souls of the family he had loved and treasured.
He hadn't been able to give them a worthy funeral, as much as he had wanted, as much as he had lamented. He hadn't been able to give them anything more than a grave of earth just like how, when they were alive, he hadn't been able to give them more than some pitiful handfuls of rice instead of pretty kimonos or comfortable futons. And what kind of big brother did that turn him into? He remembered wondering that time and time again, now during nighttime and tucked in bed, staring at Aya's haori that was, clean and folded, on the bed next to his.
He remembered, too, going out to the garden with Aya's haori on his hands. Once he made sure Zenitsu and Inosuke were asleep, and that Aoi hadn't been studying anatomy late into the night. So once there was no one close, Tanjirou remembered yelling.
Throwing Aya's haori to the floor, cursing her name out loud, trampling on it until he got exhausted and finally crying over it, hugging it to his chest and wondering what it was that he had done wrong. But Aya couldn't reply as much as that was her haori because she wasn't there, and Nezuko couldn't comfort him because she wasn't there either.
Lastly, he remembered burning, burning in fury or maybe envy, both, because Aya had the opportunity to have a worthy funeral and her voice could have joined her mother's and grandmother's in prayer and he would, never, have that. (But what Aya did wasn't his business).
So after being silent for a while, with nothing else on his chest to take out, he washed the haori of the rest of his crying and hung it out. Then he dried his tears, splashed water on his face to hide the puffiness on his eyes and went back to bed.
And when Aya appeared, so suddenly, what he had been was stunned. He had been happy, there was a part of him that would always be, but he still remembered the fangs that had peeked from under her lips.
He couldn't help but wonder if they'd still be there and him (so naive that you are, older brother) had preferred to ignore them.
Aya's head, leaning on Zenitsu's shoulder, flew back and she opened her eyes, breaking into a coughing fit.
Yuu, who had been tied to her by the wrist, skipped and bit and pulled Aya to the floor along with him.
Tanjirou raised both eyebrows.
«Of course it had to be her» he thought to himself. No one else, only her, because the gods enjoyed watching him agonize.
"Did you burn their tickets?" He instead asked Nezuko, who shook her head and ran to Aya's side.
"Ah, it's always a pleasure to see you, Nezuko," Aya said, at the same time as his sister helped her up to her feet. Then she turned around with a bitter frown to Yuu, who was still on the floor and did nothing but tremble. "I don't want you to help me, ever again."
Tanjirou knit his eyebrows together. Yuu shrugged and got up, raising his hands in surrender. She was still with that strange expression on her face.
"That was the most humiliating thing I've ever gone through," she muttered to herself, then pointing with a finger at Yuu. "Stay close to Rengoku, he'll protect you, and for fuck's sake, don't move away from him or Zenitsu."
He nodded, muttering strange words Tanjirou didn't recognize as he waited in nervousness for Nezuko to burn the rope that tied them together.
Aya got her attention back to Tanjirou and looked at the floor, at the unconscious bodies spread all across the wagon.
"Oh, that one was in my dream," she muttered, when her eyes slid over the boy that had been close to where she had been sleeping not too long ago. Then her gaze went back to Tanjirou. "Well, I guess that the others are asleep also has to do with that, so it will be no use to wake them up, don't try. Do you have any idea what's going on?"
"A demon," Tanjirou simply answered, with something close to annoyed in his voice at seeing Yuu tremble beside Rengoku.
"I see," Aya added, without blinking. "If we hurry we'll cut the head off without the need for mister Rengoku. By the way, good job knocking out the humans."
"Thanks," Tanjirou said again, and why did he feel his eyebrows furrowing?
The only human that hadn't thrown himself at him looked at Aya, nearly fascinated when he gave a step in her direction with a face soaked in tears.
"You also managed to hold onto one?" The boy took a hold of her arm, softly. Tanjirou couldn't smell any kill intent coming from him. "That landscape, I don't know how you did before me, or without the demon's help, but it was beautiful, right?"
"Um." Aya gave a step back in confusion, without having even noticed that he was there at the same time as she looked at his wet cheeks. "Are you okay? Do you need a tissue or-?"
"Those brilliant creatures," the boy interrupted her, giving another step in her direction and gaze always fixed on Aya's face. "You also managed to get one. Your eyes…"
"I'm truly sorry but," Tanjirou butted in, suddenly putting himself in between the two. "A battle is awaiting and we must go."
Aya easily got rid of the boy's hold on her and walked behind Tanjirou, only daring to peek at the boy over his checkered haori.
The stranger blinked and finally stopped looking at Aya, smiling softly as he bowed, always teary eyed.
"Thank you," he said to Tanjirou. "Good luck, and be careful."
Despite being mad he smiled:
"I will!"
"Thank you?" Aya slowly whispered, still at his back, before both of them walked out of the wagon.
Ayaka turned around one last time to look at the stranger because, despite them being weak candle eyes, there was also a fire burning strongly within them.
And how dumb she was, too, because the same fire burned within hers.
The air crashed against her cheeks when opening the door to the outside. Tanjirou offered her a hand to jump to the other wagon and she, although looking slightly unsure, took it. Tanjirou supposed that part of him would never disappear.
"You have to slash your own neck in order to wake up," he explained when Ayaka asked.
"Of course, Kobayashi always has to make everything more complicated," she whispered, rolling her eyes. Then her expression softened when looking at Tanjirou, playing with her fingers. He had to remind himself she had already done that before. "What… what did you dream about?"
«Something you would never dream of.»
"I dreamed about my family," Tanjirou said instead. And more venomously he whispered. "I guess you dreamed about being a pillar instead of dreaming about yours."
Aya gaped but from her came no words and that was the only affirmation Tanjirou needed. When realizing she looked like an idiot Aya closed her mouth and blinked.
"If you have any problem with me," she started with a frown. "Then say so."
Tanjirou only shook his head (because he had never been good at lying) and Aya clenched her jaw, pushing down the arm that had been about to hold onto the stairs to go up.
"You've been acting strange ever since I came, can you please stop being an idiot?" She bit her lip more strongly, looking closely at how Tanjirou stayed in silence and huffing in response. "I can't believe it. You're not even able to respect yourself enough to get mad at me!"
"That has nothing to do with this," Tanjirou managed to say over the buzzing on his ears, because he had started to pulse, warm, warm, warm.
She sighed, becoming smaller and in a way that he noticed the purple bags on her face.
"Listen," Aya started, letting go of him to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Everyone gets mad some time, and I understand that you do. I should have explained, explained everything, and I wanted to! But the last time we saw each other it… wasn't ideal." Tanjirou remembered the fangs and the dripping saliva, the claws that had clutched to his clothes, the growls coming from her. Aya crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this, I can only imagine what it was for you. And I wanted to talk to you, but then dad died and I didn't-"
He knew her father had died, he knew that better than her.
"You didn't even attend his funeral!" Tanjirou exclaimed. He couldn't believe a single word that came out of her mouth, not after having believed she would apologize to Zenitsu, not after believing she'd fix everything. Aya's words have lost all their weight for him. A heavy expression fell over Aya's face as she gave a step back, in uncertainty. But it wasn't able to compete against the heaviness of his own stomach or the fire on his veins. "I believed you better than that!"
«Where are you going, Tanjirou?» the red Aya whispered in his head. «Where do you think you're going?»
The real Aya's expression broke in a desolate frown coated by astonishment, only to melt away in an accusatory glare.
"Let go of me," Aya hissed, who, Tanjirou didn't know when, he had grabbed by a forearm. With a tug she got rid of his hold and gave a step back. "You're just like my father. You aren't even capable of getting mad for your sake, you have to use others as an excuse."
«If you turn into someone like my father» The Aya from the past whispered into his ear. «I'll hate you.»
Tanjirou remembered the empty room, the few voices praying and the strangers around the urn that held the ashes of the dead. The sight pulsed on his mind, changing until the photo wasn't Aya's father, but him, ever smiling, ever burning.
"Do you want me to get mad for my sake? Fine!" Tanjirou yelled. "I hate the way you talk at Yuu! I hate it! But I know that even if I asked you to be nice to him you wouldn't! Why is it so hard for you to be nice to other people!? Is that so hard!?"
"Tanjirou," Aya started in warning, pursing her lips back.
And he didn't listen.
"Do you wanna know what I think!? That you don't care about me! Nezuko, Zenitsu, Inosuke, you don't care about them either! And about your mother even less!"
"Tanjirou!" Aya finally screamed, and if Tanjirou hadn't known that Aya was selfish, that Aya was mean and that Aya didn't care about anyone, maybe he would have believed the thin veil of water over her eyes. "You know what!? I was actually worried about you! But you can burn yourself to the ground if that's what you want! I only wanted for you to cherish yourself but I see that's impossible for a stubborn idiot like you!"
He clenched his jaw. «Burn, burn, burn» The red Aya sang.
"And you want me to believe that!? You don't care or think about anyone but yourself! Cherishing yourself is the only thing you ever do!" Tanjirou continued and he would burn, he would burn and he would burn those around him. "Maybe you should follow my example and burn yourself for once!"
"Shut up already!" Aya yelled, huffing.
Tanjirou could feel his own chest jumping, his burning blood pulsing and his head spinning.
The tingle ran wild all across his body and itched under his skin. It left him buzzing so strongly he had to bite on his tongue in order not to continue. Tanjirou Kamado had already exploded enough for that day.
"Let's kill the demon." He managed to hear Aya mutter, leaning on the railing and wiping the sweat off her forehead. It wasn't until then that Tanjirou noticed the way her knees trembled. "I shouldn't have come, you don't want me here."
That time she looked at him with drilling brown eyes, no red.
Tanjirou didn't confirm nor deny anything, going to the ceiling of the wagon. That time he didn't offer her any hand to help her up.
Aya followed after him not much longer after, without looking him in the eye, and he didn't believe himself able to, either.
But after all, that didn't matter because they had a demon to kill.
The part that would always love Aya wanted to turn around, ask her if the way she trembled was because of a reason or if the sweat was because of a temperature, but now that he had fed the part in flames, the flame he never dared touch, the small one was drowned by its strength. It buried the small one so deeply that he even ignored it when Aya wiped her eyes with a sleeve and sniffed.
Ayaka knew it was true, that he didn't want her there.
And for a moment, she would have preferred to stay a stone statue.
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It was two demon slayers, the ones to wake up. Enmu had to say that was a bother.
Both of them had similar dreams, although the girl was more tender. Enmu had been specially careful with her, an extense and big world so there weren't any limits, to get whatever she wanted. It was difficult, such inmensity wasn't easy to knit as much of a dream as it was, such idealism had never been seen before.
So he gave her everything she wanted, good health, abundance everywhere, happiness not only for her but for everyone around her. What better way to do that than by making a parade? Than by weaving her huge and golden paddys?
The boy, instead, was simpler.
He hadn't had to do much, a house in the mountains with his family was enough. He hadn't needed a way down to the village because he hadn't been interested in that, Enmu was grateful for the simplicity of the task.
And the hospital guy, how annoying. It was his fault the girl had woken up, if not, she would have stayed in her infinite confines and her abundance. All that work for nothing.
Enmu would eat him first, that was for sure.
"Good morning," he waved a hand, veins pulsing around his face. "You could have slept some more, you know?"
The girl furrowed her eyebrows and wiped the sweat off her forehead, that didn't stop. The boy, quite the contrary, scrunched his nose up and held his sword tighter. Enmu smiled.
"You should thank me," he continued. Demon slayers didn't seem to be too chatty because both of them stayed silent, only staring. Enmu didn't care. "I showed you a very nice dream, I could have shown you one much worse. For example, you." He pointed at the girl. "I could have made you dream with that boy. But not your version, the real one, along with that small incident, how was it? Ah, right! Takeshi."
The effect was instantaneous just like he had expected. The gray sword on her hands started trembling and she gave a step back. Her heart was beating so fast that Enmu could hear it booming against her ribs and the girl started huffing again.
She wouldn't be able to use Total Focus Breathing correctly very well if she was gasping for air, right?
"And you." This time he pointed at the boy, who kept a stronghold on his black sword. "I could have shown you a dream where all your family was killed, you know?" He chuckled at the idea, at the expression his face would have if he did. "Next time, I should show you a dream where your father comes back to life."
Ah, but this one didn't get scared. Instead, he got angry.
"Don't toy around with other people's dreams!" He exclaimed. "I will not forgive you!"
And what if he played with humans? Enmu wondered in amusement. One of the pleasures of being a demon was having the power to give sweet dreams to others just to see their faces change when he showed them horrible nightmares.
Destroying a heart in such a lovely way, he believed, was delightful.
His eyes slid to the earrings on his ears, earrings on his ears, earrings on his ears. He remembered that, Muzan-sama wanted him to kill a demon slayer that wore earrings.
And just how lucky he was, he didn't even have to look for him!
The joy made him buzz. Killing him meant more blood, and more blood meant more blood. It was nearly like a dream!
Then his gaze went over to the girl, who tried not to tremble, and he had to admit that looking at her doing so was pleasant. What a naive person.
But there was something more. The haori on her shoulders, there was something strange on the haori on her shoulders.
"I thought I finally understood demons," she muttered to herself, raising her gaze up to Enmu. What beautiful eyes, so expressive, he'd like to see them agonize some more. "But I do not understand… how someone is able to toy with human lives this way."
Then Enmu realized.
«Ubuyashiki!» The thought hit him with the strength of crashing against reality when waking up. «This girl smells of Ubuyashiki! Muzan-sama, I have an Ubuyashiki in front of me!»
She had the same sickly appearance as all of them, all those Ubuyashiki that had hidden for centuries from demons. And one of them showed herself before him in the middle of the battlefield, ready to be executed! It must have been a reward sent from the heavens for his hard work!
«Water Breathing, Tenth Form: Constant Flux» The boy's breathing was wavy, his sword always moving and swinging rhythmically like a river that was too abundant, too intense, did.
«Stone Breathing, Second Form: Upper Smash» The girl was intense but there was nothing of the flexibility of water in her. With knees and posture firm despite the way her whole body shook. And she was intense, just as intense as her element.
"Ah, I have to take care of that first." Enmu could feel himself smile as he lifted a hand in which a mouth grew on. "Blood Demon Art: Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis."
«Sleep!»he ordered, and Enmu stared in pleasure as both of them paralyzed.
But as if he hadn't even fallen asleep, the guy held his sword more strongly and moved forward in a rush.
"Hey." Enmu pointed behind him in amusement. "Your dear little friend there is gonna fall."
Just when he was about to graze his neck he was forced to look back, The other demon slayer stayed with her eyes shut. The wind was such that it pushed her back, like a rag doll, and left her on the verge of the train just a sigh away from falling.
The one with the earrings cursed and went back, fast enough to grab her by the neck of the uniform and drag her back in again.
The girl finally opened her eyes and broke into a coughing fit, at the same time as both of them fell to the floor.
Her expression turned into one of confusion at seeing she was atop the demon slayer. But it didn't wash away the devastated from her face, the desolated and absolutely hopeless grimace that his nightmares had planted.
Enmu smiled like someone who got a taste of a delicious dessert.
If he managed to make her cry before killing her, he'd count that as a win.
"I'm sorry," the girl whispered on the verge of tears. "I couldn't… I couldn't…"
«So it's that» Enmu raised his eyebrows. «She didn't want to wake up.»
Despite everything she got up and the boy of the earrings followed her. Maybe the determination coming from him rubbed off on her because the next time he ordered «sleep!» neither of them stayed with their eyes closed for too long.
But although now both of them stayed awake, they were messy and clumsy.
The girls used forms to make Enmu trip and fall to the floor, enough so to get an advantage over him and reach his neck. Meanwhile, the other one tried with all his might to reach the head with long lunges that were interrupted time and time again because of the girl's strategy.
They bothered one another, crashing against each other, being on their respectives ways and that the girl stayed asleep longer than him ended up becoming a problem for her the annoyance caused by it soon bloomed on his face with an irked grimace.
So Enmu kept going.
«Sleep!» «Sleep!» «Sleep!»
Now that she was behind and he was too close to his neck to look back, Enmu used his body and both sides of the train to stretch out a pair of limbs. And then on the tips, claws.
She woke up too late, by the time she opened her eyes he had been fast enough to slash her throat. And the girl fell, with eyes wide open and blood painting the sky.
"Oops," Enmu said, but the corners of his lips, twisting upwards, said otherwise.
The boy turned around when smelling the blood which made Enmu be able to, one last time, jump back and get away from the tip of his sword.
"Aya!"
His scream, so desperate and broke, brought him nothing but joy. Those heart wrecking notes, that something that broke under the heavy pressure of continuous despair.
"Kill the demon!" The girl yelled as she fell into the void. As much as she bled she managed to lift a hand and point toward her partner, face so full of determination she looked like someone else. "Don't you dare worry about me now! Kill the demon!"
And she fell, fell, fell until she was one with darkness.
Enmu enjoyed the tears that spilled from her eyes, too.
An Ubuyashiki less.
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Change of plans! We'll go back to weekly updates, thank you everyone for supporting me!