Chapter 8: The Fool
"Don't beat yourself over this loss. You are dealing with a new type of naval warfare. You will only grow stronger if you are able to analyze every part of battle's data," Corrian placed a wisdom cube on a table in front of where Shikikan is anchored.
"Don't try to cheer me up. I'm already over this loss. I was just an amateur against practically an expert who knows well about how they can function. Maybe I should take up reading a bit more on ground warfare."
"By the way, the battle's reports will be delivered to your office in a few hours."
"That was quick. I thought that it would at least take a week, not a few days for it to be documented."
"Well, you have seen them before, those little birdies are always hard at work. Though I really want to test on them. But my request was rejected by basically everyone."
"What were you planning to do? Some autopsy or something worse?"
"Let's just say that if I did it. The manjus would be leaving this place to work someplace else."
"Well, that would be a problem. The little guys really are hard workers that hardly complain or even ask for pay."
"By the way, did you talk to Amagi yet about the battle? I'm sure that you could learn a few things about what went wrong."
"I did a little. Turns out that Amagi took full advantage of the environment and battles. Especially when it came down to my win condition. Bismarck was hidden behind cover the entire time gathering information about an incoming sinking since she knew that the rest of my ships weren't revealed yet. She played a cautious game of defense and they coincidentally found my fleet struggling to make their way around their right flank. She was ordered to stay out of sight until they came closer and used her vanguard as a way to scout and locate fleet two's flagship. A suicide mission for both Nimi and Yukikaze, but all of that payed off when Illustrious sent out her biplanes for aerial support and a bit of recon. With that in mind she pulled a last minute retreat in order to pinch my attack force between herself and Amagi. I guess my orders of taking them out quickly was partly the reason and the fact that they didn't call in about their retreat. Maybe it is my fault."
Planting his elbows on the table. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on his hands, contemplating the many played out scenarios that could have altered the battle. His mind drifted from one to another as if he were looking through multiple timelines and combinations that he could have taken.
Sending fleet three might have been a smart move and taking down Amagi. Fleet three could have stayed and defended me with smoke. Then again, I'm sending slow heavy cruisers on a stealthy take down. Maybe that isn't such a good idea after all.
Deeply in his thoughts of flying through the many strategies, he was interrupted by the doctor.
"Like I said, don't beat yourself over this loss. You are still a young commander in training to become an admiral. Or did you have a change in plans-"
"No, I still plan on reaching the top. The higher I can get, the better pay and medical care I can get for my sister."
"Oh yeah, that's right your sister. Speaking of pay, have your friendships with the girls paid off with improved combat while out there?"
"I don't know yet. I have to check in with the report on what they have seen while they were out fighting."
"I'm guessing you are still doing that whole charade with the friendship. What will you do if the reports are true about improved combat capabilities?"
"Most likely bond with every single one of them."
"Won't that be tiring? I can see quite the baggage under your eyes. Have you been sleeping well? Or have you been doing a fortnight of working?"
"No, I'm just mostly just uncomfortable when sleeping and I can't fall asleep."
"I see. I see. Well, have you thought of taking your friendships up another level? This might yield increased abilit-"
Shikikan put up his hand to cut her off of her hypothesis.
"Like I said, until the work has confirmed this. I can't go into a deeper relationship with any of them without data being sent to the government giving the all clear."
"Let's just say that it is confirmed. What next?"
"I'll answer it when we cross that bridge."
"Are you sure that you are okay? It seems like you are still trying to avoid having a valued person in your life."
"No, that isn't the case. I only value one person and it is my sister. She is my number one priority and the one I care about the most. The whole world can burn for all I care."
Stunned by his comment, she was only able to look at him staring back into his space of timelines and strategies. She had to change the subject in order to keep him longer for a psychiatric report that she has been writing ever since she was assigned to support his cause as the Azur Lane commander.
"Well, what will you do if she awakens from her coma?"
"I'll gladly live the life like old times with her. Even when she marries someone she loves. I'll continue supporting her, maybe I'll continue working here and reconsider my choices on how I should live out the rest of my life knowing that she is well."
"Quite heartwarming. But, have you considered the other possibilities that might happen?"
"Like her never waking up or something even worse?"
She nodded. He let out a heavy sigh, adjusting his posture to a sitting up straight.
"If she doesn't wake up, then I'll continue doing what I'm doing. Even if that means throwing away everything to keep her alive. If she flatlines, well…"
Letting out another sigh. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples to then lean back all the way back on his chair, loosely dropping his arms still thinking.
"Hmm… I would most likely keep visiting her alongside the rest of those who I valued, talking about how I have been."
She took all of when he had said and kept a mental note of it for a later time to write down his different approaches.
"Well, I think that is enough talk. How about we do some more shipgirl building? Afterall, your request for expanding the dorms has finally been completed and we have the all cleared for summoning more of them."
"I guess so. I mean- how can we go wrong with a bit more firepower in our docks."
"Great! Just pick up that cube that is in front of you and we can start on creating a new life."
Upon touching the cube, it made the same reaction as the last time that he had touched upon them. Upon its increase in temperature, he placed the cube on the ground beside him as its blinding white light filled the room. In its place stood stood a woman in a well prepared white, winter attire with snow white hair tied up in two braids. She gave a formal salute towards the commander who was just a few feet away.
"Здравствуйте! Avrora, reporting in. Along with the light of dawn, I shall bring you victory."
"Huh, I guess we also have Russian ships. Welcome to Azur Lane, Avrora. I'm sure that you will be a great asset to the many fleets."
"Indeed, as the herald of dawn. I shall bring light on to everyone."
"And by that you mean…?"
"By starting a revolution of course."
"What? Okay hold on."
Shifting gears, he pulled Corrian to the other side of the room far enough to be out of earshot from the light cruiser with their backs turned as if it were a team huddle and started whispering to her.
"Doc, was this Russian revolutionist built during when I think she did?"
"Why are you asking me about this? I'm not a historian on ships. And why are you talking about this when we have the Germ-"
"I believe that I was built and commissioned in 1903," a female voice rang behind them.
"Okay thanks-"
Turning his back, he recoiled back in shock at the sight of Avrora. His shock caused him to thud into the doc making her stumble to the side.
"What was that for— oh."
"Hello again," Avrora beamed a warm smile alongside a wave.
"How much did you hear?"
"About all of it. But, I don't really get why you would need to talk about this in secret."
"Just forget about it Avrora. I'll have one of the maids escort to your dorm room and be sure not to cause any weird shenanigans."
"Aww… I thought that you would escort me around."
Her face formed a sort of pouting face, but that kinda bothered him in a bad way. He simply gave out a sigh and rolled his eyes thinking of an excuse to avoid the trouble of having to be a personal tour guide for the Northern Parlament woman.
"Look, I would want to be your escort. You must know that I am a busy man with no time to waste. That doesn't mean that I don't want to be around you and have some fun, but I am tight on time and have reports to check on and papers to sign after this. So if you would like, I can schedule another time to be your tour guide. Just not now."
"Judging by your eyes you are a hard worker, but it will take longer for you to fulfill that promise if you keep looking like that. How about we have a drinking contest sometime instead?"
"Sorry to say this, but I swore off drinking. Ever since the first scarring incident, I'd rather go back to looking indecent. I may not have a serious reputation to uphold, but I'm doing what is best for myself."
"You're so selfish laddie."
"Corrian, your Scottish blood is showing."
Surprised that she had unconsciously said what she had, she covered her mouth with the tip of her fingers.
"Wupsy daisy. Uh, both of you better go, there is still research to uncover on these cubes."
"I guess we all have things we would rather not share."
"I just messaged Sheffield for your little tour. I will see you another time Avrora. Most likely during training, I hope that you will do your best to serve this organization."
Shikikan took his leave through the sliding doors to then be met with the glowing star shining it's warm rays on to his skin. The bright light shining into his dim adapted eyes caused him to squint at the sun.
Today seems like a good day to go for a jog. Too bad I have to be shut in once again.
Arriving at his office door, the first thing that he noticed was that someone was inside talking to who sounded like Amagi. He didn't pay much attention to the details of the conversation. It was probably just Amagi lecturing to Akagi to stop rummaging through his belongings and embracing his scent. Just the thought of that kitsune doing that kind of indecency just makes him shudder in a sickening matter.
Opening up the door to his office, to his surprise Bismarck, Atago, and Amagi who were standing in his office near the couches and coffee table.
"Oh, Shikikan-sama. You are back already?"
"I was expecting someone like a manju or a worker to drop off that battle report that I have been patiently waiting for. Not a social gathering in my own office."
"Shikikan, onee-san is worried about you. Ever since that day, you have been tirelessly studying and working for twenty hours a day. You rarely eat, talk, or even sleep."
"Like she said, you haven't been looking too well," said Bismarck crossing her arms leaning against the wall.
"I don't think that it really matters. I just need to get stronger for this organization. Getting stronger and getting higher on the spectrum will help me greatly."
"Shikikan-sama, what they are trying to say is that you haven't been treating yourself well."
He scoffed a little, "Amagi this is really none of your concern nor do you have to be here to lecture me. You have given me quite the info after the battle."
"This isn't about the battle. It is about you right now. Shikikan-sama, it is quite obvious by the actions that your previous secretary has said. You should take it easy before you injure yourself."
"I believe that in just a minor con that doesn't even weigh down the long term benefits that I can get."
"You are in need of help, Shikikan-sama. We will help you no matter-"
"Shut the fuck up, Amagi! You are just the goddamn same as the higher ups," He exploded.
All three of the kansen's expressions quickly changed to a wide eyed, startling face at the uncouth behavior that he has just unleashed on the battle cruiser. His heart pounding like a hummingbird's wings, his mind controlled by his anger, the heavy breathing spawned an unorthodox behavior in the young commander. An uncivilized beast being shown underneath his human skin. His mind steadily came back to his senses, realizing what he had done. Dumbstruck by his own actions.
"A-Amagi, I didn't mean to-"
She held up her hand stopping the commander from speaking any more.
"I have heard enough. I will be taking my leave and have Lord Bismarck and Atago talk to you about what we had planned for you. Good day to you Shikikan."
She brushed past his side leaving only the three of them to stand in silence. Laying his head down at his desk in defeat he muttered to himself.
"I just want things to be for the better."
"Shikikan?"
"Leave me alone Bismarck."
"Master, what is the matter?"
Pulling his head up. He sees Belfast and Enterprise at his office door.
"If you aren't here to give me the battle analysis, go away."
"Yes, I have it," said Enterprise pulling out an office folder.
Upon seeing the documents, his body moved on his own with his eyes fixed on the folder. His movement looked zombie like, moving sluggishly with his arm extended outward to grab it. He tried grabbing the folders out of the kansen's hands. Seeing this, she withdrew her hand keeping him away from it.
"Enterprise, give me the folder."
"She won't be until you take better care of yourself, Master."
"Like I said. I'm fine. Why are you here Belfast?"
"I am at the behest of Enterprise's concerns. She explained what had happened over the few days as secretary and I must say that this is quite unprofessional for you to be staying up studying."
"Again I am fine. I may look like a mess, but trust me I'm still good enough to keep doing my job. I only had a few sleepless nights."
"That's your problem. You are killing yourself, you are harming others! You hurt your friend Amagi. I can't see you keep going like this," said Atago who's on the verge of crying. Seeing her like that hurt him a little, but he knew that he had better things at hand than to let his feelings sway him.
"I'm sorry that I am worrying you all, but we are all wasting time. Sorry to say this, but I need time to myself."
"And let you harm yourself even more? I don't think so Shikikan. If you keep this up, you will be in no shape to fight. When that happens and I speak for all of us. Us kansens won't follow a fragmented leader," Bismarck seemed quite ticked off at him.
Letting a sigh slip from his mouth, he rolled his eyes and sat back on his seat.
"Alright, explain to me what is going on here before I arrive."
"Amagi determined Bismarck as the MVP of the battle, so she brought Bismarck to give her request and she also wanted to talk to you a bit further about what you could do to learn from the battle since you asked a lot from her. Me, I'm the one who told her about your recent behavior after you haven't been arriving at the canteen during your absence. Takao was concerned that you didn't show up to train with her and you never responded to any of our texts. So please, Shikikan. Please let me or any of us help you with your struggles."
"You guys are quite stubborn. But, I'm still not giving up with my studies. I will take a break today and continue tomorrow."
"Shikikan, that won't do," said Bismarck.
"Why the hell no?"
"Master, tomorrow is your day off duty and yet you are continuing to harm yourself. If I must, I will have all of the maids confiscate any or all of your materials that you have touched upon."
"You can't do that!"
"You must understand that it is a maid's duty to look after her master's well being. If I can't then I wouldn't be able to be deemed as a maid."
"You know what? Fuck this! All of you get out of my office, I told you I would give myself today to rest. But now you girls tell me how to spend my off time?"
"Yes, because you don't have a choice. I'm only doing this out of concern of what comes next if we aren't prepared but— my request from you is to give yourself a week to recollect your mind and give yourself a rest."
"W-Why? Why are you guys even concerned with me after all of— this?"
"Because you are the one who gave us all a life outside of combat! Most of the time you are either cold or quiet, but all of that is just a facade to hide your other side. We have all seen it, the way you smiled, cared for the little destroyers, you even helped Amagi when nobody else is around. Yet you are here taking a nose dive into hell," Enterprise stepped up to his desk, bringing her arms down on the desk.
"Now tell us why you are going so far to hurt yourself?"
Shikikan, lying his head on the top of his chair looking up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes.
Count to four. Inhale. Count to four. Exhale.
He took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose until he finally decided to confess on the personal matter that he had told Corrian, "My sister is the whole reason. She is the only one left that I have that I can truly call family. Right now, I'm just proving my worth to command that I can be better than what I am as of now. The higher position I am in, the better health care I can provide for her until she wakes up from her coma. There I said it. Now can you all leave me alone?"
"You aren't giving us the full story Shikikan. She is in a coma, but getting better health care and money won't buy a way to get her out of it."
"Fine! You want the real story. She go bombarded to hell. She lost two limbs because she played hero like a goddamn fool! Her face is torn to shreds and put into a coma and through some small stroke of luck she survived by a thread. She was pulled out of combat. Not only that, she has a cancer due to her not taking care of herself over the past five years. I asked the doctor for a way to put her back on her feet again. You know what they told me? There is a way and the cost is to throw away my past life and work to until my bones cracked, my muscles sore, my sanity broken. There's the truth. I said it. Now leave me alone."
"We will, but we will supervise you while you are resting."
"What?!"
"It is to prevent you from finding other ways to hurt yourself. In case you have anyone or anywhere that will make you as miserable as you are now."
"Fine then. Let me know ahead of time who this person is going to be."
"That's going to be me," they all said in sync except for Bismarck.
"You've got to be kidding me," he said weakly shaking his head, "You guys figure this out on your own, I'm going home to take a nap, I'm not deciding for you. Enterprise, take care of things for me in my absence."
"Alright, someone trail him to make sure he actually gets some rest."
"Can I please just have some privacy."
"I'll volunteer," Atago said eagerly.
"Fine. Fine. Fine. Nobody else has to follow me okay?"
They all nodded in agreement.
"Good, now get out of my sight."
He started to quickly walk out of his office and started heading home while being tailed by Atago. On his way, many of the eyes of kansens started to speculate the true relationship between the two of them which he didn't really care about since they weren't. Shikikan just wanted to sleep and forget anything that had happened that day until a group of familiar destroyers decided to stop his journey back home.
"Shikikan! And— Atago?" Javelin turned to Atago in confusion, "I thought that Enterprise was your secretary."
"I was, but I guess I wasn't good enough for him," Atago formed a frowning face.
"Stop causing unnecessary drama. I've already had a fair share of drama with you. I don't need any more."
"You are such a bully Shikikan."
Sighing and rolling his eyes he turned towards the four and started to question them.
"What are you girls up to?"
"We are heading to Dunkerque's bakery. Apparently she is making a new kind of sweet so we are going there to be the first to try it."
"So what are you two doing," asked Nimi.
"Shikikan invited me to his home."
"I didn't say that. You're the one who invited yourself."
"Well we are still going home together."
"You are only coming along because I can't decline."
"What do you mean that you can decline."
"It means that he loves me to so much that he can't sa-"
He covered her mouth to cut her off, "Stop right there. No more from you."
"Ah, I knew you two were in love," Javelin beamed a smile.
"You're wrong. We aren't a thing. She is just making sure I'm getting home."
"It still seems like you two would go along nicely."
"No we wouldn't, kiddo. Anyways, take care now."
He patted Javelin's head in which she responded with a warm, energetic giggle. Finally continuing his journey home without interruptions, he reached his house by the beach to turn back to Atago.
"This is as far as you will go."
"No, I'm coming inside with you to make sure you fall asleep."
"If you do that, you will be classified as a home invader."
"You would consider your big sister as a home invader?"
He nodded without hesitation.
"You are so mean to me. Maybe I'll tell everyone about how you are still harming yourself?"
"Ugh, fine. Just this once okay?"
"That is fine by me."
I'll get you back soon enough.
He inserted the key into the keyhole and opened up the door to reveal his decorated living room with white walls, a few hung up tapestries, paintings, and his metal collection in the middle of the room.
"I'm home. Finally."
"Ara, to think that Shikikan would have a home like this. I expected something that would fit your personality."
He let out a moan, crashing his body into the nearest couch.
"Shikikan there is no way for you to sleep well like that. You will wake up with neck cramps. Would you like a lap pillow while you nap," Atago sat down on the couch patting her lap.
"I don't know? Will you tell the others about this too?"
"I won't. It's a secret between the two of us only."
"I'll repay your kindness someday."
He rested his head on her lap. Her thighs were tender and she smelled nice for some reason. Maybe it was just his imagination or he was just exhausted for that reason. Either way, he was comfortable laying on her. His mind started to drift into darkness as he felt her hand stroke his hair.
"Shhhh… Leave everything to me."
What a chapter. Anyways, I hope you like this one. Finals and AP tests are coming soon so the chapters won't be put out as much as I will. Alright, see ya!