Keith refused to open up his eyes, he didn't want to be awake. Conciousness meant that he would have to process what happened last night and confront it, then he would have to talk to Lance about it and he was just not willing to do that right now. The familiar voice of Shiro humming from somewhere in his apartment, probably from the kitchen, could be heard through the thin walls. Keith buried his face into his pillow with a groan. Everything hurt, his head, his body, and his heart. Especially his heart, it clenched painfully whenever his thoughts strayed to last night's events. He tried his best to ignore it and force his body to go back to sleep.
Sleep would prove to be difficult to attain. The smell of food that his older brother was undoubtedly making for him, wafted through his tiny apartment and his suspicions of where his brother was were confirmed. He appreciated what Shiro was doing but he wanted it all to just go away, so he shut his eyes tighter. He wanted to drown out everything, he wanted to be left alone, he wanted to be somewhere else, be someone else.
He pulled the covers over his head and curled into himself. He could still taste Lance on his lips, could still feel his long fingers running over his pale skin, and his large brown hands gently caressing his sides. He could see Lance's dazzling smile and bright blue eyes, scenes from last night playing behind his eyelids like it was a movie screen. It was yet another reason to keep his eyes shuttered because once he opened them Lance would be gone.
The humming stopped and Keith burrowed into his blankets, knowing what was about to happen. He ignored the soft knock on his door, he lay completely still as it slowly creaked open, and he pretended to sleep when he heard his brother call out to him.
"Hey Keith, I made some pasta."
Keith remained quiet and still.
"You have to eat kiddo, you haven't eaten since we were at the bar last night and you've been in bed all morning. It's one o'clock in the afternoon, it's been over twelve hours Keith," Shiro pleaded. "You need to eat something and drink some water. You haven't slept, you spent most of last night crying, and I'm worried about you."
Keith's fingers clamped down on his sheets when he felt Shiro start to pull them down. Unfortunately for him, his brother was stronger and managed to yank the covers off anyway. He kept his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see the pity in Shiro's eyes. He hated being pitied, he had seen it often enough when he was jostled from foster home to foster home. His reaction to it was always the same; unbridled rage.
He felt the cool metal of Shiro's prothetic arm on his cheek. "Keith, please look at me. Please eat something," he whispered and Keith scrunched up his nose at the smell of the food. "Please Keith, for me?"
The younger man sighed and opened one dark indigo eye and looked up at his brother. Shiro was smiling softly but Keith could see the worry etched into his face despite that smile. "Not hungry."
"I'm not leaving until you eat."
Keith sat up quickly and with an almost animalistic ferocity, shoved several forkfuls of pasta into his mouth. "Happy!?" He growled through a mouth full of noodles. Shiro only sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, right over his scar.
The young man swallowed and shoveled more food into his mouth. He chewed angrily, he just wanted to be left alone, why couldn't Shiro understand that? "Why are you even here?" he grumbled as he finished the hearty helping of pasta.
"Because you and Lance disappeared last night. Matt and Pidge noticed it first and when they told me I started calling you. I had a bad feeling about the two of you running off like that." He watched Keith as he swallowed the last bit of spaghetti and started to chug his glass of water.
"When I got here Lance was outside begging to come in. I sent him home and opened the door and found you limp on the floor. I panicked Keith, I," he trailed off and looked away. "I thought you had hurt yourself."
Keith set the glass down and stared at the tray on his lap. "I'm sorry Shiro, I didn't mean to worry you. That's the last thing I ever want to do."
Shiro turned back to his little brother with a small smile. "That's what family is supposed to do, worry about each other."
"Thank you for being here Shiro and I know you're just looking out for me but everything hurts. You won't be able to help much." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry but I think I just need to be alone." He opened his dark eyes to find Shiro's worried ones focused on him. "Don't worry, if I were ever going to," Keith paused as he tried to think of a delicate way to say what he wanted, "end things, I would've done it when Lance left me. I just need some space now to think about things."
The two brothers stared at each other for a few minutes before Shiro sighed and stood. "Alright, I need to go check on things at the cafe. Allura had to open up alone this morning and Hunk is there helping her out with the pastries but I should check up on them."
Keith tried to give his brother a reassuring smile but he could feel sadness tugging at it, weakening it. "I'll be alright. I'll text you don't worry."
"I will always worry about you, kiddo." He wrapped Keith up in a hug and Keith's hands gripped the back of his black shirt tightly and he buried his face in Shiro's shoulder. He would never understand how he managed to keep someone like Shiro in his life but he would be forever grateful to have him. "I won't be gone too long and I'll come back and make us some dinner. Okay?"
Keith nodded and pulled away. "Thank you Shiro," he whispered and his brother smiled and left the room. He waited until he could hear Shiro close the front door behind him and lock it before he grabbed the tray with his empty plate and cup and headed for the kitchen. He washed them in silence, trying not to think about the text from James, or about what happened last night with Lance. He left the plate and glass on the drying rack and went back to his bedroom.
He crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. He could see his phone sitting on his nightstand and he knew he had to talk to James but he just couldn't. "I'm so stupid," he softly scolded himself. He was supposed to meet James for dinner tonight but he knew now that it wouldn't work, he had to end things with him but he was scared. Scared of what James would say, scared of his reaction, and scared of his own reason for ending things with the brunette.
Keith shut his eyes and Lance's face slowly began to materialize once more. His glittering blue eyes and bright smile were clear in his mind and Keith wanted nothing more than to manifest his vision of Lance, to make it real once more.
Silent tears slipped from beneath his closed eyes. Was he doomed to love Lance forever? His heart ached for that beautiful blue eyed boy but his brain stopped him from easily falling back into Lance's arms. It was constantly reminding him that he left, that he left once and he could leave again even if he says he wouldn't. Men lie, his brain told him, he might leave you again and we won't survive that heartbreak a second time.
He buried his face into his pillow, his body shaking as he continued to cry quietly. Eventually he sat up and rubbed the tears from his eyes before grabbing his phone. His fingers were trembling as he scrolled through his contacts.
"Hey beautiful," a chipper voice answered.
"Hi James." His own voice sounded hoarse and haunted.
"Keith, is everything okay?"
"We…We need to talk." He closed his eyes. He knew how ominous that sounded. James was quiet for a few minutes. "James?"
"I heard you. I want to see you. I want you to say this to my face. I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"James, please I can't…"
"You can't do this to me over the phone," the brunette answered simply. He was right and Keith knew that, it was just harder to end things face to face. To see the hurt that would be clear in his features.
"Okay," he answered softly. "I'll see you soon." Keith hung up without another word and tried to make himself look like he hadn't spent all night crying. He was still in his clothes from last night so he took a quick shower and changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a faded blue hoodie. It used to be Lance's but he had given it to Keith one night when they were out and Keith, in all his idiocy, wore a torn up band t-shirt with mesh netting underneath. He had been shivering and Lance pulled off his hoodie and tugged it down over his body.
Lance had cooed about how cute he looked in his oversized hoodie and pulled the smaller man into his arms. They traded lazy kisses just out of sight of the bar they had been headed to to meet their friends. The kisses had started to warm Keith up and he convinced Lance to skip the bar and go back to his place so that the brunette could warm him up properly. He had tried to return the hoodie the next day but Lance insisted that he keep it.
Keith sighed, maybe he shouldn't wear this particular hoodie but it still made him feel safe, long after Lance's scent had disappeared. He stared at his reflection, checking to see that he looked decent. The skin around his eyes was red and puffy, the evidence of his misery clear in them. He took a few minutes to splash some cold water on his face but it did little to wipe away that hollow and exhausted look from his features.
He left the bathroom to head to his room, dreading the conversation that was coming. It would no doubt be a long one as he planned to tell James everything. Dinner was going to be late tonight he thought darkly before suddenly remembering that Shiro was supposed to return later, so he reached for his phone to send his brother a quick text.
Keith:
Hey Shiro, I uh
I invited James over
To talk
I'll just eat the leftover pasta you put in the fridge
I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
It took about five minutes to get a response.
Shiro:
If you're sure.
Call me if you need anything.
I'll see you tomorrow.
He set the phone down on his nightstand and went to wait in the living room. He checked Scarlet's bowl as he passed and noticed that Shiro had already put cat food in it. She would come out of her hiding spot soon enough to eat it. He sat nervously on the edge of his couch, his fingers playing with the frayed ends of the blue sweater he wore. He was lost in thought when he heard the knock on his door. He jumped in surprise and hurried over to open it. James was standing there, looking dishevled but still handsome, despite the apprehensive look in his eyes.
"Hey," he said softly, his voice hollow.
"Hi James." Keith shuffled nervously and moved out of the way. "Come in."
James stepped in and removed his shoes at the door as requested. Keith didn't have any spare slippers for him to wear but James was alright to stay in his socks. "So," he began as he turned to look at Keith. "You wanted to talk?"
Keith nodded and moved past him to sit on the couch. "Sit with me, I have to tell you about my ex." His dark eyes followed the other man as he made his way to the couch, only looking away once they were seated beside each other. Keith's heart was hammering in his chest and he took a steadying breath before he turned back to the James.
He told him everything. He told him about how he and Lance were once friends, how they became friends with benefits, how hard he fell for Lance, how Lance left him without a word, and how Lance had come back into his life recently. He paused before he finally told him about the mistake they had nearly made last night.
James was silent the entire time, his expression unreadable. Keith couldn't bring himself to look at him, so he looked down at his hands as they twisted nervously in his lap. "I'm so sorry, I thought I was ready to move on but it's clear that I'm not. I still love him. I am so, so sorry James."
The brunette stood and started to pace around the room. "So what does that mean for us?"
"I….it means that I don't think I'm ready to be with you, to be with anyone, and that includes Lance. I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you this now before things got too serious." Keith watched him from the couch, his eyes following his movements until James stilled.
"Why McClain? What is it about McClain that has you so devoted to him?! He left you Keith!" James ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "He walked out on you and you weren't even dating! He fucked you and he left you!"
Keith sat there quietly, listening to James. His hands were clenched tightly in bubbling anger but he didn't argue. James was right and he couldn't bring himself to argue back, there was nothing to argue. What he said was true.
"I don't know why," he answered softly. "I know it doesn't make sense and everything in me screams that I'm crazy but, I love him." He could feel the tears begin to sting his eyes. "I've always been in love with Lance and I don't think I'll ever stop. He's my first love, I'll never forget him."
James resumed his pacing. "You can love more than one person Keith, you know that right? I don't get it, have I done something wrong? Have I offended you in some way?"
Keith shook his head quickly. "N-no! James you haven't done anything." He hated confrontations like this, he wasn't equipped to deal with others but this was right. He had to end things before they got any further. It wouldn't be right to keep seeing James when he loved someone else.
The brunette continued to pace and run his hands nervously through his hair. He finally paused and collapsed on the couch beside Keith, his head in his hands. "What does Lance have that I don't?"
Keith felt his heart clench. He had never intended to hurt James. "That isn't it," his voice was quiet as he placed a shaky hand on James' shoulder. "I know this is such a cliché, but it really isn't you. It's all me. I thought I was ready to move on but last night, what I almost did with Lance, showed me that I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. It wouldn't be fair to you James. I can't give you what you deserve."
"So you're ending things before they even get started," James mumbled through his hands.
The pale hand on his shoulder gave him a reassuring squeeze. "I am so sorry James."
The brunette looked up and Keith was horrified to see tears there. Without thinking about how his actions might affect a vulnerable James, Keith reached out to put a hand on his cheek and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the other side. He kept his face close, laying his forehead against the brunette's forehead.
"It really isn't you, whether or not you believe it, it's me. You're amazing James. You're kind, smart, funny, and so handsome. If we had reunited three years ago I would've been so lucky to have you," he whispered, his breath ghosting over James' mouth.
The taller man leaned forward and closed the small gap between their lips. "Why can't it be me? I promise to take care of your heart," he breathed in between kisses.
Keith placed his hands on the brunette's shoulders, pushing him back gently. "It just can't be. We can't do this James, I'm sorry."
"Let me love you Keith, please," he whispered as he pressed his lips to Keith's feverishly.
He felt James ease him down onto the couch with his kisses and his body unconsciously arched up into the taller man. "James," he moaned softly as the other man kissed down his neck. "P-please, this...this won't ch-change anything." Things were getting dangerous. Keith hadn't shared his bed with anyone since Lance, making it two and a half years since he had last been intimate with anyone, and he'd be lying if he said that his body wasn't craving physical touch.
James paused and pulled away to look down at him. "You're so beautiful, Keith," he whispered reverently. "I would never hurt you."
Keith smiled sadly up at James. "You will, whether you mean to or not. It's not easy to love me James, and…" he looked away. "You're not him," his voice was small and if it wasn't for their closeness James would've missed his next words. "I'm a sinking ship and I won't take you down with me. Don't give your heart to me James." Dark amethyst eyes turned back to look at James. "I can't love you," he whispered. Cool steel blue eyes scanned his face, searching for what, Keith wasn't sure.
"Maybe you can't love me right now but who's to say that you can't learn to?" James pressed his mouth to Keith's once more. He tongued at his lips while his hands caressed a gasp out of the dark haired man. James used that as an opportunity to plunge his tongue into Keith's mouth, making him moan.
Keith's mind was spinning and his body was acting on its own, responding to every touch and kiss. James' hunger was relentless, devouring every inch of Keith and when his hands slipped under his hoodie, Lance's hoodie, he jerked. "J-James, please...I can't give you what you want. I," he broke off with a moan as James lightly nipped at his neck.
"I don't need love right now Keith, I just need you."
Keith closed his eyes to think. His hands gently held James at bay, he could feel the taller man watching him intensely. James said he didn't need love right now, just sex but was it okay to sleep with someone you were only sort of seeing and currently breaking up with? They hadn't been seeing each other that long, just shy of two weeks, but...his body was so warm. They could have a one night stand, couldn't they? He just had to make sure James understood that.
Plum eyes, shining with lust, opened and focused on the man above him. "I'm in love with Lance."
"I know."
"This won't turn into anything more, you know that right?"
James nodded. "I do."
Keith chewed on his lower lip. "Are you...will you be okay with that?"
The brunette seemed to be thinking about it now. He looked away from Keith and it was then that he knew this would be a very bad idea. Keith opened his mouth to say so when James roughly kissed him.
"I'll be okay, just let me take care of you tonight, Keith. Please?" James' lips brushed against his own.
This was a bad idea, Keith knew it was, and yet that didn't stop him from whispering, "yes," as inquisitive blue eyes stared at him. James wasted no time in bringing their lips together as his hands worked to free Keith from the confines of his blue hoodie. Once his pale chest was exposed to the cool filtered air of his apartment James sat up to look at him.
Blue eyes raked over Keith's form, making him feel shy so he slowly brought his arms up to cover himself. James carefully pulled the offending limbs away and gripped both of Keith's wrists in one hand to pin them above his dark head. "Don't hide, I want to look at you."
Pale cheeks turned bright red as the brunette pressed his lips to his neck, kissing his way down Keith's body. The flat of his tongue ran over one of his nipples and Keith let out a stangled moan. He shut his eyes tight and immediately he saw Lance. He imagined it was Lance tonguing his chest, that Lance's hand was running up and down his side. Lance knew what drove Keith crazy, knew every little button to push until Keith was squirming and begging for release. James didn't and now he'd never get the chance to learn.
James' attention wasn't unpleasant but Lance knew his body, knew it and knew how to treat it. He knew that wasn't fair to James but with how hopelessly in love he was with Lance, he couldn't help but compare the two. When the brunette kissed him again, he imagined that it was Lance who was moaning into his mouth. He pushed up against James causing their hips to rub together and the taller man pulled back to moan loudly.
"J-James, the bed...I'm uncomfortable...h-here," Keith was nearly breathless with lust, he knew he wouldn't last long.
James nodded and moved off the couch to gather Keith in his arms. Once in Keith's bedroom he tossed the shorter man onto the bed and started to remove his own shirt, aware of indigo eyes studying him.
Keith nibbled on his lower lip as James removed his clothes. He was lean, his muscles lightly defined but not bulging, and his skin was flawless. Lance, on the otherhand, had broad shoulders that Keith loved to grip tightly when he was close to the edge. Those same shoulders were freckled and the Cuban man's tanned chest had a few scars from childhood roughhousing with his brothers.
Looking at James' slightly lankier build now he couldn't stop thinking about how he looked like a painting; perfect, beautiful, and the thought of touching him felt wrong. Lance was real, he had scars and freckles and Keith enjoyed running his hands over his marred skin. Lance was perfectly imperfect and he felt his heart squeeze as he longed for his ex-lover.
He didn't have too much time to think about it before James was back on him and tugging off his pants. Their mouths and tongues clashed together as Keith shamelessly rutted against James, catching the brunette off guard.
"T-tell me what you want Keith," he half moaned out.
Keith kissed along a, far too perfect, square jaw before his lips ghosted over the shell of James' ear. "I like to be dominated and ravaged." When he laid down he had to bite back a laugh at the look of shock on James' face.
"As you wish," James breathed out before claiming Keith's lips once again. They spent the rest of the night tangled in Keith's sheets as James twisted and controlled him, and if he cried out Lance's name as he climaxed James didn't correct him.
Keith's eyes opened slowly the following morning and was greeted by the sight of a sleeping brunette, just not the one he had hoped for. He lay there quietly studying James' face until his cool blue eyes fluttered open. The two of them stared quietly at each other for a few minutes before James spoke.
"So, you called out his name last night," he croaked out softly, his voice thick with sleep.
Keith flinched slightly but kept his eyes locked onto the other man's. "I-I did. I'm sorry James."
"So we're definitely over." It was a statement rather than a question but Keith still answered it.
"Yes, I'm sor-"
James held up a hand to stop him. "Don't...don't apologize. It just makes this harder," he groaned and rolled over onto his back, his hands covered his face as he spoke. "May I use your bathroom before I leave?"
He watched James, he desperately wanted to console the man, wanted to make sure he knew that none of this was his fault but all Keith's. He wanted to make sure that James was okay but he pointed to the bathroom instead. "T-that way."
The other man moved his hands to see where Keith was pointing and quickly got out of bed and pulled on his boxers before softly padding over to the bathroom. Once he heard the door shut Keith turned onto his back with a choked sigh. "This was a mistake," he whispered to himself, as he dragged his hands down his face. "Fuck, I am so stupid."
He took a minute to gather himself before getting up out of the bed, wincing slightly, and pulling on a clean pair of boxers. He reached into a drawer to grab a red silk robe Lance had given him a few birthdays ago, to cover himself with. He loosely tied it around his body and walked to his kitchen. The coffee maker had just begun to brew when he heard the door of the bathroom open. It was another few minutes before James appeared, dressed and looking unsure of what to say.
"I'm uh, making a pot of coffee if you want some before you head out." Keith wasn't sure how this was supposed to go. He had never been in a situation like this, a one time only kind of deal, and he wasn't sure what to do.
James seemed to be thinking about it before nodding slightly. "Yeah, um, thanks." He awkwardly sat down on Keith's couch as the latter poured him a cup. Keith emerged from the kitchen with a mug, spoon, and a small container of sugar. He set it all down before hurrying back into the kitchen to grab the cheap powdered creamer that he usually buys.
He made sure that James had everything he needed before going back to pour himself a cup and then uncomfortably settling down on the far end of the couch. The two were silent for a few minutes until James chuckled. "Guess you have a sweet tooth, huh?"
Keith glanced down at the fourth spoonful of sugar that he was about to add to his coffee before blushing a bit. "Y-yeah, I do. Is it that surprising?"
"Well you wouldn't guess it from looking at you. You're so in shape I just assumed it was all kale and protein shakes for you."
Dark hair swayed as Keith shook his head. "Nope, I mean my older brother tries to make sure that I'm eating right. He usually brings me chicken and tofu and stuff. So I do technically eat kale and steal protein powder from him when I go to the gym, but outside of that I'm not that healthy. If left to my own devices it would be mac and cheese for dinner every night. Oh and tons of dark chocolate."
James smiled into his coffee mug. "That's cute, you're cute. I wish," he trailed off and looked up at Keith. "We have to say goodbye, don't we?"
"Y-yes," Keith's voice was soft. "This is the way it has to be. I'm sorry James. You deserve so much better than me and the longer I stay around you the harder it will be to say goodbye. Not to mention that I'm only getting in the way of you actually meeting someone who will make you happy."
James didn't answer, just avoided looking at Keith as he sipped from the steaming mug in his hands. They remained quiet until James finished his coffee and stood. "W-well, I should get going. I have a class this afternoon."
Keith walked the brunette to the door. His arms were wrapped tight around his waist, as if he was trying to hug himself, and his robe had fallen off one shoulder. The pale skin of his shoulder and chest were revealed as the thin robe slipped down but the shorter man barely noticed as his eyes were laser focused on his slipper clad feet. When he finally looked up he caught James staring intently at him.
"You're so beautiful, Keith and you don't even know it." He reached out and gently cupped Keith's cheek. Dark eyes closed as Keith nuzzled lightly into the tender touch, he couldn't help it, he had been so touch starved these last two years that he took whatever he could get. He opened his eyes again and looked up at the tall brunette. "I don't want to say goodbye," James whispered and Keith felt his stomach drop.
He hadn't intended to hurt the man who had been nothing but kind to him but here he was, causing James pain. He had little experience (and by little he meant none) in being the dumper and he wasn't sure what to do. Just as Keith was about to respond, the taller man leaned in and kissed him softly. "I can wait for you, not forever but for a little while. You're more amazing than you think and I'm so caught up in you. I don't want to let you go just yet."
Keith stared wide eyed at him. James would wait for him? What if he was never ready? He couldn't do that to James, he deserved to meet someone. "I can't ask you to do that."
"You're not, I'm telling you I will. Not for too long though and if I meet someone then I won't hesitate to go for it. I just want you to know that." James brushed some of Keith's bangs out of his eyes before pulling his hand back. "So, I guess this is goodbye Keith."
Keith understood. James was willing to wait but he wouldn't turn down an opportunity should one present itself. That made him feel a little better, because James really did deserve someone better than him. "Thank you for saying goodbye, I know it's not easy."
James nodded. "Maybe I'll see you around Kogane."
Keith gave him a sad smile. "Take care of yourself Griffin." The brunette gave him a strained smile of his own before walking out the door. Once he was alone Keith sighed and wandered over to his couch. He felt terrible, he never intended to hurt James but he knew that if he had waited longer than it would've hurt a lot worse.
He checked the time on his phone and sighed. He should text Shiro before the older man starts to worry and comes bursting into his apartment in a panic.
Keith:
Hey Shiro
Everything is fine.
I'm going to eat some breakfast and then I'll swing by the cafe.
Shiro:
Sounds good.
I'll see you there.
He set his phone down and reclined on the couch letting out a small grunt of pain. His mind was running over what happened last night as his body ached. It had been so long since he had last shared a bed with anyone and the vigorous love making left him more than a little sore. Keith groaned and covered his face with his hands. Of all the people he could have slept with he had to go and fuck James Griffin.
"I'm so fucking stupid," he bemoaned. He knew he shouldn't have done it but he was weak and James was kissing him so sweetly and it had felt nice. It had been so long and he just wanted to feel a connection. Keith hoped that James understood that it was strictly a one time only deal and that he hadn't given the other man mixed signals.
Keith knew that he couldn't spend the rest of the day thinking about it so he limped his way to the kitchen to make himself some toast before going to see his brother.
"Hello Keith!" Allura smiled brightly as he walked into the café.
Keith waved shyly as he stepped up to the counter. "Hey Allura."
"So can I make you your usual?" She asked as she reached over the counter to give his hand a squeeze.
"Please? Oh, is Shiro in the back?"
The light haired woman nodded. "Yes, he is a bit busy today, Hunk called out but feel free to go in. Perhaps he can find something for you to help him with."
Keith thanked her and walked back into the kitchen. "Hey Shiro," he called out when his brother popped up from beside the oven.
"Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?"
Keith just shrugged in response and swiped a chocolate truffle from a freshly made batch. "These are pretty good, not better than Hunk's, but it's a decent effort."
"Nice deflecting," Shiro groaned. "Hey, don't eat the merchandise. We are trying to run a profitable business here."
"It's called quality control, Shiro. I have to sample these." He picked up a croissant next. "Hunk is never bothered by it."
Allura walked in before the older man could respond and handed Keith a mug of coffee. "I hope it's alright. I had to rush since I am all alone out there today."
Keith thanked her as he took the mug. "Where's Matt?"
"Called out," Shiro answered. "He had a job interview today, for a position that would actually use his three degrees."
"No offense but letting your only two employees take the same day off is kind of dumb. You're kind of sucking at this whole 'profitable business' crap." Keith teased Shiro. "Not you Allura, just Shiro. You're great," he added quickly.
"Yes of course. You know," she said slowly, "if Matt gets the job your brother and I will need some help while we look for a replacement."
Keith felt himself stiffen, he could tell where this was going. He wasn't opposed to helping them but his employment record wasn't the best and he didn't want to let them down. "Yeah I guess you would," his voice faded as Allura smiled widely at him.
"So I was hoping that you'd agree to help me out a few times a week. You don't have to talk to the customers," she said quickly, almost as if she read his mind. "I'll take orders, you just have to help me make coffee and perhaps call out the names as we finish brewing them. Please Keith? It won't be for that long and we'll pay you. It might not even happen, we haven't heard from Matt yet after all."
Keith sighed, he knew that he was never going to say no to her but he could still whine about it. "Alright princess, I guess I can help out."
Allura squealed and happily threw her arms around him. "Wonderful!"
"Y-yeah," he turned to look at Shiro, his eyes begging him for help. His older brother smirked at him before clearing his throat.
"Allura, no one is out front," he simply said.
She jumped away from Keith quickly. "Oh! That's right!" With that she turned and hurried back to the counter and Keith let out a relieved sigh.
"So you're out of the apartment, I'm proud of you," his older brother said with a small smile.
Keith groaned and stole another truffle off the tray. "Please don't Shiro. I just want...well I'm not sure what I want, but I know it's not that. I don't need to be babied, I said I'd be here and I'm here. Please don't make a big deal out of this."
The older man nodded and approached his brother slowly. "I know Keith, I'm just worried about you. I already told you that I freaked out when I saw you the other night so can you blame me for being worried?"
The shorter man sighed. "No, I really can't." He reached for yet another truffle, ignoring his older brother's protests. "Soooo, I think I fucked up."
Shiro raised a brow questioningly. "You think?"
"Okay, I know I did. I did something really stupid, Shiro." Keith focused on a whisk he had picked up, twirling it in his hands, in order to avoid his brother's gaze. "S-so you know how I texted you yesterday to not come by after work because I had to talk to James?"
"I do," Shiro answered slowly, not liking the hesitation he heard in Keith's voice.
"W-well, um, James came over because I was supposed to meet him for dinner last night but in light of what happened with Lance I knew I had to talk to him instead. I had to end things with him."
Shiro remained quiet, watching the younger man tense as he continued to stare at the kitchen utensil he held in quivering fingers.
"He, uh, so he came over," Keith continued, his voice softening into a whisper. "We spoke about it and I told him everything that happened between me and Lance. I told him that I am still in love with Lance and that I wasn't as ready as I thought I was to move on."
"So where does the stupid decision come into play? So far this sounds like you did the right thing for James," the older man asked, even though he had the sneaking suspicion that he already knew the answer.
Keith stayed quiet and just clenched the whisk tighter.
"Keith."
"He spent the night."
Shiro nearly missed the whispered confession but he heard it. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "So the stupid thing you did is why you haven't sat down?"
Keith could only nod before realizing that the older man's eyes were closed and verbally confirmed it.
"Keith, did you think about how he would interpret that?" Shiro asked as he opened his eyes and focused on Keith once more.
"Of course I did Shiro! I told him that it wouldn't change things but he persisted and the kissing felt so good and it's been so long since I was held like that. I know that I should've stopped it but I...I'm a weak man and it felt nice and I just wanted to forget about my fucked up life for one night!"
Shiro studied the younger man. Keith's shoulders were slumped and his head hung low, eyes trained on the floor. The whisk in his hands betrayed their shivering with it's slight shaking. He looked defeated, hopeless, and, worst of all, he looked like he had given up. Strong arms wrapped around the narrow frame of his younger brother as he buried his nose in dark hair.
"You're life isn't fucked up," he whispered, his prothetic arm rubbing up and down Keith's strong back. "You've hit a rough spot. We all have them, some are worse than others but all experiences are valid. You'll get through this Keith and I'm here to help you." He pressed a soft kiss to the top of Keith's head. "You have people who love and care about you Keith. You have me, Allura, Pidge, Matt, Romelle, Hunk," Shiro hesitated before saying the name of the person who might just care about Keith the most, "and Lance, even if you don't believe that."
Keith's hands fisted his shirt as that name left his lips. "I know he hurt you and I hate that he did that, but in my few interactions with the kid it was easy to see how much you mean to him. I'm not excusing what he did but he cares, Keith. He wants to atone for what he did and I think you owe it to yourself to talk to him. Set boundaries if you need to but most of all, like I said before, you need to forgive him."
He could feel the young man shaking in his arms, so he held him tighter. In the end only Keith would know what was best for him but Shiro was determined to guide and comfort him along the way. He needed his brother to know that he was there for him and that he always would be.
Shiro and Keith remained as they were for nearly twenty minutes, Keith drawing comfort in the arms of the larger man. He knew they had to part and finally Keith extricated himself from Shiro.
"I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distract you from work."
His older brother smiled softly at him. "Hey, there is nothing to apologize for. You're more important than the cafe and besides I've heard the owner is a pretty cool dude."
Keith chuckled weakly and smiled up at Shiro. "Thanks Shiro, for always being there for me."
"I've told you before, we're family and I'll always be here for you. Now why don't you head back to your place and I'll bring dinner once Allura and I have closed up here."
The shorter man agreed to the suggestion with little resistance. He had a lot to think about, Shiro's words resonated deep within him and he knew that his brother was right about everything. Not that he would ever admit to that because Shiro would lord it over him for the rest of his life.
Keith said a quick goodbye to Allura before making his way back to the quiet solitude of his apartment, his mug of coffee sitting forgotten in the kitchen.
He stood outside the campus bookstore with shaking hands and a racing heart. He had to do this, he knew that. He had made a mistake that night at the bar, he knew that Lance had been right. He shouldn't have kissed Matt, it wasn't fair to the older man, and then he definitely shouldn't have kissed Lance right after. Everything that happened that night was his fault and he knew the brunette was probably blaming himself and just the idea of Lance scolding himself over Keith's actions had his stomach twisting until he felt sick. He couldn't let the other man continue to admonish himself when it wasn't his fault.
Dark eyes closed as he tried to take a few deep, calming breaths. Students milled about, barely giving him a second glance as he stood there trying to gather the courage to face Lance. When his eyes opened again he could see the tall blue eyed man through the window. He seemed to be reaching for the phone that was in his coworker's hand.
"It's now or never Keith," he whispered to himself before heading for the door, hoping that he looked more confident than he felt.
"He's just so annoying!" Keith fumed as he paced around his friend's apartment. "I just wanted to apologize for the other night but his insistence on pursuing me is just so, so," he trailed off unsure of what he was trying to say.
"Exasperating?" His bubbly blonde friend supplied.
"YES!" Keith cried out as he resumed his pacing. "It's exasperating and then I, well, I got upset and," he finally collapsed on Romelle's couch at a loss for words again.
"You lost your temper, as you are wont to do, and you forgot to apologize. So you took your sandwich and came running here, to my flat. Did I guess that correctly?" She asked him.
Keith nodded solemnly and she sighed. "You are a massive idiot. As mad as I am at him, on your behalf of course, you know that you have to apologize and not just to Lance."
"I know," he mumbled. "I feel awful for kissing Matt. I could see Lance watching us carefully after finding out that Matt used to have a thing for me. I wanted to make him jealous, that's all that was but I shouldn't have used Matt like I did." Amethyst eyes looked up at the young woman beside him.
"I'm sorry for kissing Matt, Romelle."
She furrowed her brows in confusion as she turned her face to hide her pink cheeks. "Why would you need to apologize to me for that?"
"Romelle, you know why."
He watched her nibble nervously on her lower lip. "We're just talking."
"If that's what you want to tell yourself, but I can see the truth. I shouldn't have kissed him, not when I know that you're interested. I'm sorry."
The blonde turned back to him and gave him a small smile. "You're forgiven, but I have to ask; is he a good kisser?"
Keith groaned and pressed his palms over his eyes as she tugged on his bicep while cackling. "I need to know Keith! This is very important information!" She pulled his hands away from his face and grinned widely. "Well?"
"His lips were, um, soft. As soon as he started to kiss back I pulled away but from the few seconds we had I guess he was...above average?"
She squealed and fell back onto the couch. "He's so...kind. I've never met a man like him before. He's smart and sexy and," she paused when Keith leveled a smirk in her direction. "Oh, piss off!"
He laughed as she attempted to shove him off the couch. Keith finally hit the floor with a loud thud before he reached up and roughly pulled her down beside him. She shrieked and the two of them began to lightly push each other out of the way as they each tried to reclaim the couch. Romelle flung her arms out as she lay back on the floor, sighing in defeat. "You win, you wanker."
Keith lay back on the cushions with a smile that began to fade as the silence between them grew. "What do I do now?" he whispered. "I need to apologize for the night at the bar and now for today. Why do I always screw everything up?"
Romelle hummed as she thought over his words. "Well, I agree that you need to apologize but you can wait a few days. You need to be calm when you go to talk to him and stay calm or you'll just get angry again."
He groaned and turned over to bury his face in the couch cushions. "I'm a huge fuck up. I'm just going to be alone forever. I'm not made to be loved." He yelped suddenly as a sharp pain radiated from the back of his head. Keith sat up and glared at Romelle. "What the fuck, man?!"
"Not only are you made to be loved but you deserve it. You're beautiful, kind hearted, and passionate. You deserve so much more love than you think," Romelle said firmly. "You're an amazing person and you've overcome so much. I can't think of anyone more deserving of love than you."
Keith looked away from her. She was so confident in her words, saying them like they were the absolute truth. If they were true, then he wouldn't have ruined every chance at romance he had ever been given. He rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head and grimaced. "What the fuck did you hit me with? I have a lump."
"Oh, stop being such a baby." She grinned maliciously. "It was just the television remote."
"Sadist," he grumbled. "I should warn Matt about you."
Romelle cackled and threw herself on Keith, the two of them crumpling in a heap on her couch. The raven haired man held onto his friend tightly, hoping she couldn't feel his shaking. "H-hey, can I stay over tonight? I-I don't want to be alone."
The blonde pulled back and smiled softly down at him. "Of course you can."
Keith returned her smile with a small one of his own. "Thank you."
She nodded and scooted off of Keith before reaching for her t.v. remote. "Let's have a movie marathon, I'll even let you pick first!"
"You are too kind," he chuckled as he sat up. The two friends spent the next hour watching Pride & Prejudice, (with Keira Knightley because she's the BEST Elizabeth Bennet, Keith had insisted), the two of them falling asleep before it had even finished.
"I don't know Shiro," Keith said as he shifted the phone to his other ear so he could pour the open can of cat food into Scarlet's bowl. "I argued with him the last time I saw him."
"It's been a month Keith, besides weren't you the one who said you needed to apologize to him? This party would be the perfect chance."
Scarlet let out a meow as she circled Keith's ankles, anxiously awaiting her food. "I did," he answered slowly. "I'm no good at parties. You know this. My anxiety goes through the roof and I end up in a corner by myself drinking way too much." Scarlet, in her impatience, suddenly jumped onto the counter to try and reach her bowl. "Scarlet! Down! You know better than that!" Keith shooed her off and placed her bowl on the floor while his brother chuckled.
"I'll be there, so will Romelle and Allura. We won't leave you alone I promise."
Keith let out a long sigh. "You better not.
He really should have known better. Coming to this party was a terrible idea, he should just leave. Coming with Shiro and Curtis and their newly minted boyfriends title had not been the smartest idea. He could walk back to his apartment, thirteen miles was totally walkable, right? The arrival of Romelle only granted him a moment of respite as Matt was quick to gain her attention, leaving Keith all alone once more.
Allura and Lotor weren't any better, barely greeting Keith before the sight of Shiro and his new boyfriend pulled them both into the fledgling couple's orbit. Dark eyes turned back to the party as he scanned the room unconsciously looking for a familiar form. His eyes finally landed on Lance, he was talking to a tall and beautiful blonde woman. His heart ached as he watched her touch his arm lightly as she laughed.
Keith knew he didn't have a right to be jealous, considering how hard he had been trying to push Lance away, but here he was. He continued to watch them but when the blonde turned her head ever so slightly, in a subtle glance his way, Keith looked away. His cheeks were warm, pink from the alcohol not embarrassment, or so he told himself. Deep plum eyes found the two of them again, deep in conversation. Lance was doing most of the talking but the beautiful young woman never took her eyes off of him.
He forced himself to look away again, focusing on the bottle of beer in his hands instead. It was just now that he noticed the slight trembling of his hands. His grip on the bottle tightened in an effort to quell the shaking. Seeing how easily Lance and that woman conversed just proved how easily the tall brunette could move on from Keith and that thought rattled him.
So lost was Keith in his thoughts of Lance moving on and finding someone better than him, that he failed to notice the attractive blonde sidle up to him.
"Hey there handsome, come here often?" She giggled and Keith would never admit that he jumped at the sudden sound of her voice.
"Huh?" He answered unintelligibly.
"My name is Nyma," she continued, unperturbed and with an alluring smile on her lips. "What should I call you?"
"K-Keith, my name is Keith," he finally regained control of the English language long enough to answer her.
"So Keith, you are incredibly sexy, although I'm sure you've heard that one a million times."
Keith blinked, she was far more blunt than he had expected. The coy smile she held masked her candor as she waited for his response.
"T-thanks? I feel like I should mention that you probably shouldn't waste your time flirting with me."
"Why is that? Taken or married?" Her smile stretched wider.
"I'm gay and even if I wasn't I'm not really looking for anything right now."
Nyma sipped on her margarita and leaned back against the wall beside him. "Way to let a girl down easy," she teased. "In all seriousness though, I did notice you watching me and Lance earlier. Could he be the reason you're not looking for anything right now?"
He froze and stared at her. Was he that transparent? A complete stranger had seen right through him and into his glass heart. He didn't know how to react and ended up just gaping at her like a fish. She just laughed softly, a cute tinkling sound, before turning to face him.
"I know I've only just met, well, everyone here but I'm really good at reading people. In my short conversation with Lance, I could tell that he's a real stand up guy. You could do a lot worse than him, that is if I'm correct in assuming that you're interested in him."
Keith shook his head. "N-no, Lance and I are just," he paused. What were they now? He had a mental breakdown in front of the other man, got angry and argued with him three days after that, and now had ignored him for about a month. Could he even say they were friends? He was surprised to find out just how badly he wanted to call Lance his friend. "It's complicated, but we're friends. We're just going through a rough patch right now." He settled on.
"Severely rough," she muttered and before he could respond he felt a heavy presence beside him.
"Hey sweetness."
Keith had to will his body not to flinch at the familiar voice. He turned to find Rolo standing very close to him, one arm resting on the wall above Keith's head. "H-hey Rolo. I have a name you know."
Rolo grinned salaciously. "Oh I know, but you're too delicious to be called something as ordinary as Keith." Dark brown eyes noticed Nyma then and flicked up to meet her gaze.
"The name's Rolo, what's yours beautiful?"
She gave him a small, strained smile. "Nyma, but Keith and I here were having a conversation, so if you don't mind could you leave?"
The tall man shrugged one dark shoulder and turned back to Keith. "So have you given any thought to my offer?"
Keith furrowed his brows in confusion as he looked up at Rolo. "What offer?"
The large man smirked as he leaned down, his lips brushing against the shell of Keith's ear as he spoke. "My offer to take you for a drink and watch that gorgeous face of yours twist in pleasure as you ride my dick. I think you'd like my cock inside you, I've never had any complaints."
Keith's face turned violently red as he stared up in shock at Rolo's shamelessness. He was met with a hungry smirk and quickly looked away. Sudden movement caught his attention and Keith looked up to see Lance headed their way.
"H-hey Lance!" Keith called out, seeing a chance to escape.
"Hey Keith, mind if I steal you away for a second? I need to talk to you." Keith could see how angry the tall Cuban was. His hands were pulled tight into fists and his jaw twitched as he clenched and unclenched it. The smaller man wasn't sure who that anger was aimed at, but if it was at him, he decided that he deserved it and that letting Lance yell at him was infinitely better than staying in Rolo's company.
"Sure buddy, lead the way," he said quickly as he removed himself from Rolo's side. He gave a small wave to Nyma who smiled and held up her glass. Keith sighed softly in relief when he felt a familiar warmth press into the small of his back. He chanced a glance up at his companion and was rewarded by the sight of a very jealous Lance glaring at Rolo. So that's what had him worked up.
"Can...can we go somewhere quiet?" Keith asked him. He knew this was his chance to apologize and he had to take it. Having Lance's arm around him and his hand resting on the small of his back felt nice and Keith didn't want to let that feeling go just yet.
Lance finally tore his gaze away from Rolo to glance down at him. "Is the balcony okay?"
Keith smiled softly as he nodded. "I also need some alcohol."
The tall man chuckled and dipped quickly into the kitchen to pull a couple of the beers out of the fridge. "Ask and you shall receive, my friend." Keith stifled a giggle as Lance bowed to him, he instead rolled his eyes and slid the balcony door open.
"Come on, loser. Don't you dare let me stand out here alone," he said as stepped through the opened sliding glass door.
The duo stood in silence for what felt like an eternity to Keith. They were both leaning against the railing and sipping slowly on their beers. He couldn't take the silence anymore, he had to say something and he knew that something had to be an apology. So with a shaky breath and an increasing heart rate he turned to Lance.
"Lance, um, thanks for saving me from Rolo."
"No need to thank me. I knew he had to have whispered something wildly inappropriate for you to turn as red as you did," Lance chuckled and turned to him, raising a brow expectantly, no doubt wanting to know what Rolo said but being too shy to ask directly.
"He-he said that he wanted to watch my c-cute face as I….um, as I r-ride his dick." Keith's face was bright red again as he looked anywhere but at Lance. "He said t-that I would like it when he f-fucked me."
Keith peeked up at his companion and noticed that Lance's hands had tightened on his beer bottle, his knuckles bright white. "I'm gonna kill him," he gritted out through clenched teeth. "Keith I am so sorry that he said that to you, he was way, way, waaaay out of line."
"It's okay, y-you came to save me because of it and I'm really glad that you did." Keith hated that he couldn't keep the stutter out of his voice, his nerves were fried and he wasn't sure how to apologize. "I, um, I actually wanted to talk to you."
Blue eyes blinked slowly. "Me? Why?"
"O-oh I'm sorry I just thought," Keith trailed off as he took a step away from Lance. "I-I'm sorry, I guess I misunderstood what happened back there. I-I thought you'd be happy to t-talk with me." He was so stupid, of course Lance didn't want to talk to him after the things he had said to him. He looked up when he felt Lance grab his arm. The brunette was shaking his head quickly.
"I-I am! I'm just surprised that you wanted to talk to me." He released Keith and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "You just haven't been very cooperative when it comes to talking to me."
Keith looked away guiltily. "I-I know and I'm sorry about that, I know that's been my fault. I'm also sorry about what happened that night at the bar. I...I know I kissed you and then freaked out after and I am so sorry. You...you didn't do anything wrong. I had been seeing James and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that I shouldn't be doing what we were about to do. It wasn't fair to you or to James.
"I'm just so fucked up and I'm starting to drag everyone around me down and I f-fucked up that night. I'm sorry Lance, I shouldn't have kissed you or asked you to take me home. I wasn't thinking and I let my emotions take control and I am so sorry." Keith closed his eyes, he couldn't bear to look at Lance.
"I hurt you that night, Matt too, and then James the next day. I hurt so many people and I feel so sick. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm a disaster and all I ever do is hurt people." He opened his dark eyes and looked up at the sky. "I kissed Matt that night because I...well, I w-wanted to make you jealous and that was stupid and petty of me. I shouldn't have used Matt like that and when I thought about why I wanted to make you jealous it became obvious that I wasn't as ready to move on as I thought I was. So I ended things with James, it was only right.
"I went to the bookstore to see you and apologize for my behavior at the bar but then you started saying all that stuff about," Keith paused and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "You were talking about m-marrying me and I got so angry because all I could think of was why can't you stop and just leave me be?"
Keith finally turned back to Lance with a shy smile and pink cheeks. "You've always known how to push my buttons." He chuckled and took a sip of beer. "We can make each other so angry sometimes and I'm sorry that I got upset with you. I'm sorry that I freaked out on you at my place and I am sorry for what I did at the bar. I don't expect you to forgive me but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you and I'd really like it if maybe, we could try being friends again."
Lance was staring wide eyed at him and Keith's heart sank. Maybe Lance was going to reject him, maybe this time he pushed him too far. He had a breakdown and screamed at him, then he yelled at him three days later, and then he ignored the other man for an entire month. He avoided everyone for a whole month really, but it felt different when he ignored Lance. There was no way Lance would forgive him and, if he was honest, he deserved it.
"I'd like that too." Lance's smile was so wide it seemed to nearly split his face and it made Keith feel warm inside.
"R-really? Aren't you mad at me?"
"Not really, it takes two to tango y'know. I was there, I could've stopped it just as easily as you did, minus the, uh, freak out. We had both been drinking and I was jealous when I saw you kiss Matt and, um, when you asked me to take you home I felt like I had to claim you or something." His tanned cheeks turned rosy as he spoke. "Which wasn't cool of me either so, what I'm trying to say here is that I think we're both at fault and I don't want to fight with you anymore."
Keith stared incredulously at him for a minute or so before he was mirroring Lance's wide grin and flushed cheeks. "I...thank you Lance. You've always had a big heart and I used to think that was a weakness but now I see, you're so much stronger than me."
The brunette laughed loudly. "Yeah well, that big heart has a lot of love to give."
Keith looked back out at the neighboring buildings. Then why wasn't it big enough to make space for me? The question was on the tip of his tongue but he bit it back, not wanting to rehash that tired topic. "So I got an interesting phone call the other day," he said instead.
"What kind of phone call?" Lance looked interested and seemed to move closer, but perhaps he was just imagining that.
"Yeah, it was from a record label," Keith said plainly.
"SHUT UP! Dude! That's awesome!"
"Lance, I haven't even told you what they said." Keith was trying to not to smile but from the way the tall Cuban was staring at him, with a sparkle in his eye no less, he was failing.
"Yeah but, c'mon. No one calls to reject you, jobs, companies, potential love interests," Lance listed. "They only call when they're interested."
Keith laughed. "Okay yeah, so they're interested, but not just in my songs. They're interested in me. They liked my demos, said they couldn't imagine anyone else singing my songs."
"KEITH! OH MY GOD!"
The shorter man flinched as his companion continued to scream. "That's AMAZING!"
"H-hey, stop. You don't have to announce it to the whole neighborhood!" He scolded as pale hands grabbed at Lance's flailing arms.
"Sorry, sorry!" Lance quieted down and grinned at Keith. "But seriously Keith, that's incredible. What did you tell them?"
He blinked and his hands fell away as he wrapped them around himself. "I told them that I didn't know. I just wanted to work as a songwriter, but they seem to think that I could be more than that and I'm not so sure."
"Why don't you think so?" Lance asked quietly.
"Look at me Lance, I'm not charming and handsome like you. I'm not big and sexy like Shiro and Hunk and I'm not hot in a cute nerdy way like Matt. I'm just me, little orphan Keith with an okay voice and a shit personality. No one would buy an album once they see me. I'm not Harry Styles or anything."
"Shut up," Lance interrupted with a hard voice."You're right, you're not any of us. You're Keith Kogane. You're beautiful in every sense of the word, you're stronger than you think you are, and you have an amazing voice. Everytime I hear you sing I get goosebumps. You're so talented Keith and you deserve to be recognized for it." His smile softened as blue eyes met indigo. "The best thing about you is that you don't even realize how incredible you are. You should try giving people a chance, let us show you just how wonderful you really are."
Keith was suddenly very aware of how much closer Lance had gotten, there was no way he was imagining it this time. "What if no one likes me?" he whispered.
"Impossible," Lance said with absolute certainty. "You're not hard to love."
He couldn't handle looking up into those blue eyes any longer, they were so sure. Lance truly believed everything he said. Keith still turned his face away to say, "you are so wrong about that it's almost laughable."
A warm hand gripped his chin and turned his head so that he was looking back up into those bright baby blues. "I'm not. Don't let this chance go, let the world show you that you deserve it on a silver platter."
Keith felt like he couldn't breathe. How could Lance still be this kind to him? How could it still affect him after all this time? He blinked slowly and forced air into his lungs. "I'm afraid to put myself out there."
"Anything worth having in this life comes at a risk. You just have to close your eyes and leap."
Keith closed his eyes as instructed but before he could even think about what he was doing he heard the sliding glass door open and he and Lance jumped quickly apart.
"Hey, there you guys are," Matt said cheerfully. "Lance, buddy, got anymore tequila? We're out and uh, the crowd is starting to turn on poor Hunk."
Lance's face was bright red but he tried to laugh it off. "Y-yeah man, bottom cabinet beside the fridge."
"Thanks dude."
"W-wait Matt!" Keith called out suddenly.
Said man stopped and looked curiously at Keith.
"I'll come with you." He turned to Lance. "I, uh finished my beer. I can grab you one too if, um, if you wanted to wait for me out here and continue our conversation?"
Lance smiled fondly at the shorter man. "I'll always wait for you."
Keith wasn't sure how to respond to that so he nodded and followed Matt inside.
"Everything okay Keith?" The older man asked as they made their way to the kitchen.
"Y-yeah, well no. I um, I wanted to apologize to you Matt."
The sandy haired brunette leaned against the counter in front of Keith and smiled softly at him. "For kissing me?"
"Y-yes, I was trying to make Lance jealous and I didn't take your old feelings into consideration when I did it and it was fucked up of me. I am sorry Matt."
Matt laughed. "I'm not going to lie, it was a bit confusing for me because of how I once felt for you. When I was younger I would've given anything to be able to kiss you and now that it happened I wasn't sure how to feel. On the one hand I finally know what it feels like to kiss you so that won't plague me for the rest of my life, but on the other hand I really like Romelle. We've been talking and I told her about what happened and that I used to have a crush on you but she was strangely okay with it. A little too okay," he chuckled. "She really wants to know what kissing you is like.
"Anyway, I'm not angry at you Keith, but I do appreciate the apology. I don't like being used and you weren't being a very good friend." Matt turned around to grab the tequila bottle from the cabinet before facing Keith again. "That being said I do forgive you for it, just promise me you won't do it again? Use someone else to make Lance jealous or, you know, talk to the guy."
Keith nodded. "I am, that's what we were doing out there actually. I apologized to him too. I just couldn't let you leave this party before I had the chance to tell you how sorry I am."
Matt put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Dude, don't worry about it. All is forgiven. Now, don't forget your beers. I can see Lance looking in like a lost puppy, that boy is so whipped when it comes to you."
"S-shut up," Keith chuckled nervously. "You know it's not like that between us anymore."
"Right, silly me. I'm off to go get drunk with my lady now, so if you don't mind I will have to relieve you of my awesomeness."
Matt dodged Keith's fist as he sauntered out of the kitchen with a wave. Keith smiled as he watched his friend leave before he grabbed two beers and joined Lance out on the balcony once more.
"Thanks man," the brunette said with an easy grin.
Keith just nodded and waited for the bottle opener. "Do you really think I could do it Lance?"
"Become a famous singer songwriter?" He asked before handing over the bottle opener to a nodding Keith. "Of course I do. I meant it when I said that you're talented Keith. I think that you owe it to yourself to try but if I'm being honest I know you'll become famous." Lance tossed him a lopsided grin. "Just don't forget about us little folks."
"I could never forget you...guys, all of you." Keith hoped that Lance didn't notice what he nearly admitted to. "I've just...I'm scared to sing in front of people."
"You sing on the boardwalk over at Venice Beach. There are so many people there Keith!"
"Y-yeah but there are also a ton of street performers. Two weeks ago I was near a sword swallower and he stole all the attention. No one really focuses on me out there, they drop a buck or two in my case and move on to more exciting acts. Singing to a crowd who paid to come and hear you sing is completely different."
A large hand landed on his shoulder. "Keith, my dude, have I got the greatest idea to help you with that." His smile was blinding as dark amethyst eyes looked up at him in suspicion.
"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret saying yes to this?"