Notes:

This chapter contains sexual content.

Tuesday 23 February
Pelican Town Bus Stop
Early Afternoon

Joanna stood at the bus stop waiting for Sebastian, it was drizzling lightly and she was cold. Spring had suddenly turned miserable…and she was not feeling exactly happy herself. She had spent the whole day yesterday cleaning up the mess the birds had made…and regrettable what she had made herself…her scarecrow looks like he had been in a war and so did her crop field. Sebastian was late and she was starting to doubt that he is even going to come. Last night he had texted and said that even though he would like to come to view the apartment he might not make it…a sudden job has turned up…he wanted to confirm the time he needed to be at the bus stop just in case. His texts had been short, precise…and stoic.

Sigh well whatever…maybe it is better that he does not come…

Joanna pulled her red raincoat tighter around her…the misty rain was making her hair wet and the few strands that never seem to want to remain in her ponytail clung to her neck and face. Her overnight bag was scrunched up between her legs to avoid getting too wet. She had packed lightly for her one night…she was really not relishing the idea of going to Zuzu City, but she had two important appointments tomorrow…

The bus came down the mountain road and skidded to a halt in front of her.
"Route 45 last stop Zuzu City" the bus driver called when he opened the side door. Joanna's shoulders sagged…guess she is going alone.
Joanna boarded the bus and made her way to the back…she preferred to sit in the back hidden from the other passengers in the shadows that the back seats provided. It was a good three hour drive to Zuzu City and she would like to enjoy it in solitude. Joanna sat down, placing her bag on the seat next to her and she leaned back closing her eyes. Her stomach turned and she felt nauseous as the bus started up.
Breathe…you are okay….breathe.

"Sorry I am late"
Joanna's eyes flew open and she watched Sebastian sit down in the seat next to her, placing her bag along with his between their legs. He was as always dressed in black jeans and a black hooded jacket.
"Hey" he greeted.
"Hey…you came" she was actually dumbfounded, she had been so sure a few minutes ago that Sebastian was not coming that her mindset was now completely muddled.
"Yeah…"he said smiling and her heart skipped a beat, "I was able to finish the job in time…"
Joanna nodded and returned his smile, he then took out his phone and started to type…obviously not wanting to converse. If she had expected that they would engage in casual conversation for their trip to Zuzu City…then she was to be disappointed, what would they talk about anyway? Farming? Programming? They were worlds apart…besides they both had their own reasons for going…it was never a 'together' trip…Joanna was just happy to not be alone, even if they don't talk.

Sebastian frowned as he stared at his phone's screen luckily Joanna had turned her head to look out the window otherwise she might have noticed that he was actually not doing anything. He had every intention of not coming…last night when he had texted it and lied about a job it had been planned. He knew it was for the best he would then when she returned arrange with her agent for a viewing…it was perfect…until about an hour ago. He had arrived at the bus stop on time but he had stayed back hidden under the trees, he was still debating with himself about going and then the bus came…and here he was. Her face when she had looked up at him the joy that appeared in her eyes was etched in his mind…he tucked his phone back into his pocket and looked at the other passengers. His heart was beating too fast…he was feeling too much at the same time. He was nervous and excited…and he had no idea whether it was because he was closer to his goal to move to Zuzu City…or that he was with her.

They sat in silence and Joanna stared out the window, the further away they moved from Stardew Valley, the darker the clouds got. Joanna hoped it did not rain when they arrived in Zuzu City, her apartment was a good ten minute walk from the nearest bus stop and if it was they will be soaked. The landscape flew by and the closer they got the scarcer the trees became to be replaced with wide open fields and on the horizon the skyline of the city loomed. Joanna could feel her chest tighten she had not realized that the city could still have such an effect on her…she gave a little inward laugh, she has only been gone for three weeks…it will take time.
"Are you okay?" Sebastian leaned over to her side his shoulder touching hers.
"Yes…no" she shrugged, "I don't like the city."
"Why?" he asked.
It is a dark and ugly place… she thought, but she turned to face Sebastian and said "It is loud and noisy."
Sebastian saw the somber expression on her face…he had noticed the closer they got the more tensed she became.
"Don't worry…" he said and he reached with his one hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "Soon you will be back on your farm again…surrounded by silence and farm noises". He had wanted to be comforting…but it sounded like he was being condescending and he was not trying to be, he just did not see the appeal of living on a farm when the city was filled with so many other opportunities…what could have happened to chase her all the way to Stardew? Sebastian felt her move away from him almost pressing herself up against the window. She was stiff and her hands were clutched together in her lap, the knuckles white. Shit.

Zuzu City
Late Afternoon

It was just after 6 pm when the bus dropped them off at their designated stop. It had taken another hour into the city because it was raining…horribly and there had been gridlock on the road coming into the city. Joanna grabbed Sebastian's jacket sleeve gripping hard not wanting to lose him in the crowd of home-goers on the sidewalk and they walked quickly as they maneuvered their way to her apartment building. And as Joanna had predicted when they stepped into the lobby they were soaked. She signed them in at the security guard counter and again guiding Sebastian by pulling on his sleeve they rode the elevator to the 10th floor.

Her apartment was one of four loft apartments and even though it had only one bedroom and bathroom it was spacious and can easily be converted to have another bedroom. Joanna scanned her apartment key on the key pad and the door opened.
And for the first time in almost two hours, Joanna spoke turning to Sebastian "Welcome to Zuzu City, Sebastian."

Early Evening

After a quick tour of the apartment they had both gotten rid of their wet clothes which Joanna had chucked into the dryer, luckily she had kept extra towels in the bedroom closet. Sebastian wrapped up in one had quickly disappeared in the bathroom to take a shower and Joanna took the time to order some dinner. Sebastian emerged dressed in some black sweatpants and matching sweater, his hair still damp from the shower.
"I...I ordered some take out" Joanna said as she padded over the cold floor towards the bathroom gripping the towel around her tightly, "hope you like sashimi" and she swiftly glided around him into the bathroom.
"I love sashimi…" he responded to a closed door.

Sebastian stood for a moment not quite sure what to do next, he had been extremely thankful for the sweatpants he had not been too sure what he had actually flung into his bag when he had made the sudden decision to come. There bus ride had been in silence for the last two hours and Sebastian had felt Joanna's complete withdrawal from him. He had kept telling himself that it was better that way, soon he would leave Pelican Town…he had no time to get involve or even bother with a new friendship. Yet…he had run like the devil had been chasing him to get to the bus stop. He wanted to be with her…He walked over to the huge window that was behind the grey sofa bed, one of the few furniture pieces Joanna had kept in the apartment. It was dark and the buildings were barely visible through the rain, the night lights of the city blurry. He closed his eyes as he listened to the rain and the city noises…such a contrast to the numbing silence of Stardew Valley. He could definitely stay here…

Joanna sighed as she stood under the steaming heat of the water, her bones were chilled and her skin welcomed the soothing warmth. She was thankful for the brief escape away from Sebastian. The bus ride here had been strained, her nervousness of having to come to the city mixed with her sudden joy of having Sebastian arrive to join her, although his demeanor had diminished that happy feeling soon enough, but even despite that…she was still attracted to him. She could not deny it any longer…Their pool game ignited a fire, Joanna shrugged, and she doubts that the feeling is mutual though. Better this night comes to an end and soon…this close proximity to him was testing her resolve.
Oh Yoba, help her that she does not do anything stupid…
Joanna towel dried her hair and tied it loosely into a ponytail at the base of her neck. She also dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved top that was a few sizes too large…she rolled the sleeves up and then joined Sebastian in the main room of the apartment.

The sashimi arrived and Joanna poured them each a glass of red wine she had found in one of the cupboards as they made themselves comfortable at the kitchen table. Although the kitchen was part of the open plan main room it was separated by a long counter and the space behind it was large enough to fit a small four chair dinette table.
"Have you been to Zuzu City before?" Joanna asked as she passed him a container with sashimi and she wanted to kick herself for attempting to engage in small talk when she most likely knew that Sebastian might not really want to talk…
"Yes, several times actually…" Sebastian responded and nodded to his tattoo on his arm, his sleeves were pulled up to expose his forearms.
"Oh…" Joanna opened her container and she passed him some chopsticks she found in the take out bag.
"Do you have more tattoos?" she asked then bit her bottom lip, shut up Joanna, and turned her concentration to her food as she tried to pick up a sashimi piece with her chopsticks awkwardly. Sebastian saw her biting her lip and his groin twitched, shit. He chuckled at her attempts to hold the wooden sticks correctly.
"Yes" he smiled and then proceeded to pick up the piece she was now stabbing and held it in front of her mouth. Joanna blushed and then carefully took the piece of fish from his chopsticks with her mouth and she quickly ate it.
"Thanks…I am not very good…" she groaned.
Sebastian chuckled again. Joanna gave up trying to stab her fish to death and conceded to grab a fork out of the utensil drawer, earning her another deep husky chuckle from Sebastian.
"Where?" she asked with a mouthful of food, he seemed comfortable and did not seem to mind her questions…
"Where what?" Sebastian queried as he expertly picked a piece of fish with his chopsticks.
"Your tattoos…where are the rest of them…" and she blushed at her own thoughts as she tried to picture where they could be. He looked at her intently, smiling at the blush in her cheeks.
"Do you have one…a tattoo?" he asked softly. That took Joanna by surprise and the look on his face…his aquamarine eyes were a smoky grey and had a hint of amusement, the corners of his mouth curling up slightly. Joanna swallowed her piece of fish she was chewing.
"Yes…" she whispered and his eyebrows lifted.
"Will you show me?" Sebastian asked and he leaned back into his chair, eating another piece of fish.
"Maybe…if you show me yours" Joanna replied giving a small smile, before stuffing her mouth which rewarded her with another deep chuckle from him.
They ate their remaining dinner in silence, listening to the rain growing louder and more murderous…it was starting to get frightening. Zuzu City was renowned for storms that could kill you. They did not happen often but when they did a warning was usually issued and the whole city would shut down with its residents and workers hiding indoors. Joanna shivered…
"Are you cold?" Sebastian asked.
"Huh? Oh…no" Joan said quickly and she stuffed her last piece of sashimi into her mouth, "I just don't like storms…I love the rain…but I don't like storms…"
Sebastian frowned, why did that sound like it had a much deeper meaning?
"Thank you for the sashimi" Sebastian said as he finished his, "it is my favorite."
"Oh…well then you are very welcome" Joanna smiled pleased. Sebastian stood up and disposed their empty containers and chopsticks into the trash receptor against the wall.
"More wine?" Joanna asked as she refilled her own glass…she did not usually drink wine, but she needed something to ease this ridiculous tension in her neck.
"Yeah, thanks" Sebastian said and he took his glass after she refilled it and went over to sit on the sofa. Joanna placed her glass down on the small side table next to the sofa and she walked over to the window to close the sheer white curtains. But before she could a loud crack vibrated into the room and Joanna jumped back bumping into the sofa almost tumbling over the back rest. And then suddenly they were in darkness, the storm outside the only light illuminating the whole room.

"Crap…okay, this is not a problem" she breathed gripping the back rest of the sofa, she did not realize how tightly until Sebastian touched her hand.
"Tell me what to do" he said calmly as though he had sensed her sudden apprehension, the gentle squeeze of his hand on hers shot like electricity up her arm.
"T…there should be candles in the kitchen…" she said her voice sounding raspy to her own ears, "this building has generators they should kick in…unless we were hit" and she did not want to think about it because it did sound like their building had been struck.
"Okay, I will get the candles just in case" he stood up and he disappeared into the kitchen.
"Corner cupboard, bottom shelf" she said as she heard him searching.
"Found them" he said and he came back out carrying a thick fat candle and a plate. He placed the plate onto the side table and positioned the candle in the center he then retrieved a small tin case from one of his pants pockets, flipping open the lid and taking out a small thin silver lighter. He lit the candle and then leaving the lighter and tin case on the table he came around to Joanna who was still standing against the back of the sofa.

The soft glow from the candle did not really give much light but in its flame's warmth and the rainy blurs from the outdoor night lights and storm Joanna could see a weird expression on Sebastian's face. He said nothing as he simply just stood next to her, his closeness a comfort. They both looked out the window, watching the rain pelt down relentlessly. The heat radiating from Sebastian was inviting and she ached to lean in closer.
"I'll take it" Sebastian said suddenly and Joanna looked up at him in surprise.
"What?"
"The apartment…I'll rent it from you"
"Oh…but we have not even discussed…"
"Whatever the rent is, I will pay it….I like it" and he looked down at her meeting her gaze.
"Okay…" she said and she smiled "I will contact Dianne to draw up a contract."
"I don't know why you would want to live on a farm and I don't judge you for that…actually I do respect you for it even though I don't understand it. We all have our reasons for doing the things we do…" he said.
Joanna frowned and she looked away.
"I have wanted to leave Pelican Town for as long as I can remember…the only reason I have stayed as long as I have…is because of Sam and Abigail"
"You are very close…the three of you" Joanna commented.
"Yeah…we will most likely be old timers together in some old age home, chasing each other down the hallways with our wheel chairs…"he chuckled and Joanna smiled, even though she did not know Sebastian well she could imagine it though and only because she has relatively gotten to know Sam…
"Sam told us…what you did for him…"
"Oh…I did not really do anything…"
"You were there for him…that is actually more than I can say or Abigail…" he grimaced.
"I like Sam" she said and she could feel him tense next to her and she turned to look at him again only to see he was still looking at her.

And then as if on cue, lightning struck and thunder roared and Joanna jumped, when the thunder eased, Joanna opened her eyes and found herself encased in Sebastian's arms.
"I…I am…s…sorry" she apologized with a little laugh and tried to move away, but Sebastian's arms tightened and she shifted to place her hands against his chest. The feel of his heartbeat underneath her hand was erratic and it was making hers join in to dance the same rhythm.
"It does not seem like the power is coming back on…"she said talking into his chest.
"Yeah…" he whispered and Joanna looked up to see Sebastian looking at her mouth.
"I like you too…" she whispered and then bit her bottom lip when she realized what she had just said.
"Don't" he said cupping her face with his right hand, his thumb stroking lightly over her bottom lip. Joanna let out a shaky breath his touch was causing havoc…her hands gripped his sweater tightly.
"Shit" was the last thing she heard before his mouth captured hers. His lips were warm as they moved against hers, brushing lightly and gently coaxing her lips to open with his tongue. Joanna moaned as she opened for him and his kiss deepened to explore her mouth, his tongue enticing hers. His hand went around to the back of her neck releasing her hair from its fastening. His fingers weaved through her hair and gently pushed her even closer to him. His other hand found its way underneath Joanna's top and when he touched her skin at the small of her back Joanna moaned against Sebastian's mouth. His hand moved slowly up and then came forward to rest just under the curve of breast. Joanna gripped Sebastian's sweater even tighter…she has not been kissed or touched like this in a very long time…she could hear Sebastian's breathing become harsher. This can't happen…Sebastian released her mouth and gently pulled on her hair and she arched her head backwards. Sebastian's onslaught on her neck was so seductive that the ache between her legs ignited and she groaned. His hand cupped her breast and the sensitive nipple rubbed against his palm. She needs to tell him…Oh, Yoba, before this goes too far…

"S…Seb…Sebastian…" she said shakily, "wa…wait…" Sebastian released her immediately and she stumbled backwards grabbing the sofa to steady herself.
"Shit, I am sorry" he said "I wasn't thinking…" no, he wasn't thinking, not with his brain. Shit, what did he do? Eileen, was right, he has no control…
"Sebastian…" She has to explain…
Joanna moved forward again but he turned around and quickly walked to the bathroom.
"Crap" Joanna muttered as he closed the door behind him.

Sebastian leaned with his back against the door, closing his eyes. What the hell? He knew he should have stayed away. The bulge in his sweatpants ached and throbbed…it has been such a long time. Eileen had always made him feel guilty for not being able to contain his urges, she had teased, flirted and touched him bringing him to the edge and then berated him for his lack of control when his body would betray him. Eileen had always been the one in control…composed to such an extent he had thought she was emotionless. Sebastian felt disgusted…he felt his way to the basin in the dark and opened the tap. Splashing water over his face did nothing to erase his flushed cheeks…his lips still had her taste. Shit. He should have handcuffed himself to his bed, forced himself to miss that bloody bus…
"Sebastian?" Joanna's voice was muffled behind the door.
"Just a sec…" his voice sounded hoarse.

Joanna needed to fix this, they already had a strained whatever it was between them and the last thing she wanted was for a misunderstanding to make things worse. "Sebastian…please I need to explain…"

Explain? Explain what? That he is an idiot? Shit. Sebastian opened the door.
"Sorry…" he started.
"Do you still want to see my tattoo?" she asked bluntly taking him completely by surprise.
"What?"
"Do you still want to see my tattoo?" she repeated and she gave him a smile. This was the only way Joanna knew she was going to be able to explain why they had to stop.
"Yeah" Sebastian nodded because he did not really know how to respond.
"Come on" she held out her hand and Sebastian allowed her to take him to the sofa. He sat down watching as she reached for her wine glass and quickly finishing the remaining liquid. She looked nervous and…worried?

Joanna moved to stand in front of him and then she turned to face the darkness of the apartment, she slightly shifted her sweatpants down to sit low on her hips and then she slowly lifted her top to expose her back. At first Sebastian could not see anything and then as his eyes adjusted to the shadows on her back and in the glow from the candle he saw it…and he drew in a breath. He sat forward and hesitantly at first with shaky fingers he traced the delicate lines. Joanna exhaled the breath she was holding as he touched her, trying not to flinch. It was a butterfly almost identical to his except both wings were broken and torn…it was small and about the size of his palm and it was positioned in the small of her lower back where her spine curved in line with her hips. And then his eyes moved to the shadows of her right hip…and involuntarily a groan was ripped from his throat. Joanna closed her eyes. Sebastian's hand moved slowly and he could feel Joanna tense when he touched the first white line of the scar that spread like a spider web over her right hip. The candle's light licked the lines as his fingers moved. Was this why she wanted to stop? Was this why she moved to Stardew Valley?
"Is this why you wanted to stop?" he asked and she did flinch when he placed his whole hand on her hip.
"Yes…partly" she whispered and her breath caught as Sebastian's placed his other hand on her left hip, "besides the fact that they won't be winning me any beauty pageants…I did not want you to be…surprised?...when you saw them" Joanna shivered as his thumbs stroked her back, "and I have not…had…done it…since before the accident…"
Sebastian swallowed and his grip on her hips unintentionally tightened making her gasp.
"Shit, sorry…does…does it hurt?" he asked letting his hands fall to his lap.
Joanna turned around and she looked at him. He was hiding his face behind his fringe, but she could see how he was trying to restrain himself. He was clenching and unclenching his fists. Crap, she knew her scars marred her body…and that they could be a major turn off if met unexpectedly…she just wanted to avoid being rejected before they had gone too far…

The rain was still pelting the window relentlessly and the thunder was roaring. Joanna moved forward to stand in front of Sebastian.
"Sebastian?" She knelt down putting her hands over his clenching fists, "no…it did not hurt…but I will completely understand if you did not want to continue…"

What? Sebastian's mind was going a hundred miles per hour his thoughts were going crazy and his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Did she think he does not want her anymore because of the scars? He wanted her, now even more because she had shown him…but he did not want to hurt her…what if he loses control?
"What if I lose control?" Sebastian asked in a low hoarse voice and Joanna frowned.
"What?"
"I don't want to hurt you…" he said and he unclenched his hands taking her hands into his… "What if I lose control?"
Joanna looked into his eyes…they were haunted and filled with pain. This was something much deeper than him just being afraid of hurting her.
"I don't know…" Joanna said honestly shrugging her shoulders.
Sebastian looked at her searching her face, but he did not see the mocking glare or disgust Eileen usually had the pleasure to give him. Oh Yoba, he wants this woman almost more than he wanted Eileen…and he had loved Eileen. This was just so wrong on so many levels.
"I …I just needed to explain about my accident…okay? Maybe it is better to not continue… anyway whatever this is between us…attraction…desire…it can never be anything else…anything more…" Joanna said searching his face.
Sebastian frowned slightly then nodded "Yeah…I know."
"We are both planning and starting new lives…we are almost literally switching places" she smiled and squeezed his hands, "I have not been attracted to someone like this since before my accident…and I guess this took me by surprise…and to be honest I have avoided any type of relationships…even friendship."
"But you are friends with Sam and Abby?"
"Yes…they kinda made it impossible not to be their friend…and I am grateful" she smiled, when she had moved onto the farm she never had any intention to befriend anyone, she had firmly resolved that the farm would be her one and only priority…but Sam had managed to wiggle himself in and she loved Abigail's quirkiness and they had clicked from the moment they had met.
Joanna stood and tugged her hands gently free from his hold.
"I will get you some pillows and blankets…" and then slowly made her way in the dark to the bedroom. Crap…just breathe…The bedroom was completely shrouded in darkness and she tried to walk on memory where the bedding closet was. She managed to find the closet after her eyes adjusted to the dark and retrieved two pillows and a couple of blankets. She followed the light of the candle and placed the pillows and blankets on the now unfolded sofa bed. Sebastian was standing at the foot of the bed.
"You can use whatever you need…"
"Thanks"
"Okay…I will see you in the morning then" she said as she watched Sebastian position the pillows at the top of the bed and throw open a blanket, but he remained quiet and withdrawn.
"Goodnight" she whispered and hurried back to the bedroom. Joanna did not bother to find or change into pajamas and just climbed into bed. She was cold and the smell of Sebastian was still lingering faintly on her clothes. This was for the best…

Sometime after midnight

Joanna was shivering, she just could not get warm and it felt like she has been tossing and turning all night. Her sleep has been as crazy as the storm outside which has still not relented. She just hoped Sebastian was okay, without the power there was no central heating and she knew this apartment could turn into a freezer. If she was this cold and she was underneath a thick comforter…then she seriously doubts that Sebastian is going to be warm under a thin blanket…crap.

"Sebastian" she whispered as she quietly made her way to the sofa dragging the comforter with her, "are you awake?"
"Yeah" came the reply from the sofa.
"It is cold…" she said and stopped at the foot of the sofa, her eyes had adjusted and she could see he had lifted himself up onto his elbow.
"Bloody cold" he chuckled throwing the blanket open, "come on…"
Joanna did not need to be invited twice she quickly climbed onto the sofa and with Sebastian's help the comforter was thrown over both of them. Joanna cradled against his chest with her back and his left arm coming around to hold her to him. Joanna sighed as his warmth enveloped her.

Sebastian has not slept at all he had been trying to work up the courage to go to her. But then a million reasons would flood him to stay where he was…There was no way he will be able to live in the same town and not want to be with her…maybe he should leave earlier…but he had promised his mom Robin he would stay until end of April. Shit. He had been freezing and now her warmth was all over him. Sebastian…don't do this…

"I want you" Sebastian whispered into her ear and he felt her tense, "your scars…they are a part of you…and I want you…all of you"
Joanna tried to swallow as her heart started a crazy rhythm and she gasped as Sebastian's hand came up to cup her face to turn her towards him. He gently stroked her cheek before rubbing his thumb over her lips.
"I know this is crazy…and we shouldn't do this…"
This was only going to lead them both down a road to nowhere and they both knew they will have to go into this eyes wide open. They were both starting new lives in complete opposite directions…whatever this is...is not a forever.
"Sebastian?"
"Yeah?"
So much for not doing anything stupid…"Don't fall in love with me" she whispered and then lifted her head to kiss him lightly on his lips. Sebastian groaned and deepened the kiss. Joanna turned around completely and both his arms went around her to lift her on top of him so she could straddle him.
"You okay?" Sebastian asked, his hands moving to rest on her hips and Joanna smiled at his concern
"Yeah all good…" and she kissed him. His hands moved to go underneath her top, stroking her back. Joanna pushed herself up to lift her top over head and throw it on the floor. They were surrounded in darkness and the only light was coming from the window but it was enough for Sebastian to see her full breasts…and the scar line that marred a section of her stomach before disappearing in the rest on her hip. Sebastian's hands came up to cup her breasts. Joanna's breasts were not small but they fitted perfectly in his hands. Joanna bit her lower lip as he rubbed his palms over the aching nipples. Shit, her lip biting drives him wild and his hands unintentionally gripped her breasts harder. Joanna moaned and she reached to hold onto his arms.
"You are beautiful…you take my breath away" he said releasing her breasts to smooth his hands over her stomach and hips. Joanna looked down to search his face but there was only admiration and she bent down to kiss him. His hands went into her hair as he returned her kiss. Joanna wanted to feel his skin…she wanted to touch him. Her hands started to pull on his sweater, trying to get in underneath. Sebastian briefly released her to rip it over his head and returned to resume the kiss. The touch of their naked skins sent shivers through both of them and their hands gripped each other harder, their kiss intensifying. Joanna sat up to glide her hands slowly over his chest, the firm stomach muscles and then over his nipples. She gently rubbed his nipples as she bent down to place small kisses on his chest, Sebastian's hands tightened on her hips, squeezing…his jaw twitched and his arousal throbbed in his sweatpants…he needed to stay in control.

Joanna took one of his nipples in her mouth and he groaned his hands going up to her shoulders with the intention of pushing her away…but when she licked and then gently bit, he arched backwards his hands going into her hair holding her to him. Shit. Her hand moved down to the trim of his sweatpants and she pushed her hand in go around his arousal. Sebastian groaned "I…don't…think that is…shit" and he pushed himself up grabbing her hand but still holding it between them, the other going around her back to hold her to him.
"I can't…control it if you do that…" he whispered. Joanna saw the fleeting look of disdain cross his face and she knew it was not meant for her…but for him
"Okay…" Joanna smiled pulling her hand out of his and then cupped his face with both hands, "it's okay…" she whispered and she kissed him softly, brushing her lips over his. And then she gently pushed him back down and with one quick movement that surprised Sebastian she flipped them and he found himself on top of her.
"Okay?" she asked and Sebastian nodded…he was supposed to ask her if she was okay…
"Are you?"
"Yes…" and she started to push his sweatpants down…
"Are you sure? What about protection?" Sebastian asked, he had forgotten about that…but then again…this was not supposed to happen. Joanna stopped.
"I have not been with anyone in over three years…you?" Joanna said.
"A year…but…"
"I can't get pregnant…the accident did more than just fracture my hip" Joanna said and she gave a small smile, not the most convenient way to reveal something like that…but she had no condoms in the apartment and she was almost certain Sebastian did not have any either. But it was the truth…she can never have children.
"If you would rather not…I understand"
Sebastian watched as the display of emotions ran over her face. Shit…Sebastian bent down and gave her a hard kiss before rolling off her and the bed. He quickly removed his sweatpants and then removed hers before climbing back on and covering her body with his.

Joanna reached down to encircle his arousal with her hand and Sebastian groaned. Joanna kissed him with an urgency invading his mouth with her tongue. Joanna moved slightly to put most of her own weight on her left side and she positioned him at her entrance. She knew she was open and moist, ready to receive him.
Sebastian reached down with his own hand to cover hers and he broke the kiss to look at her. Her eyes were dark with desire her face flushed and her lips swollen…He took her hand, entwining their fingers and lifting their hands over her head to rest on the pillow. Slowly he moved, his tip pressing against her opening, Joanna lifted her legs up to place her feet flat next to him on each side, her knees up. Sebastian looked into her eyes and without having to ask, she nodded and with one thrust he entered her. Joanna arched as her body stretched to accommodate him.
"Okay?" he asked pressing a kiss onto her shoulder.
"Yes…" and she grabbed his buttock with her free hand to urge him to move and he did slowly…giving her more time to get used to him inside her. But when she started to move urging him into a faster pace Sebastian could feel himself losing his control and when the small frantic little convulsions started he moved quicker each powerful thrust bringing them both closer to the edge and when he shuddered and she felt his hot pulse of release inside her Joanna released a cry and together they both fell over the edge, drowning in the surges of pleasure that surrounded them. And when they both came back up from falling Sebastian rolled off her onto his side taking her with him and for several minutes they just held each other.

"Sam tells me you are in a band…" she murmured against his shoulder and she smiled as she felt him chuckle.
"Yeah…if messing with instruments can be called that…"
"Well, he messes beautifully with a guitar."
"Sam is the one with the most talent…although Abigail can really belt out a song."
"I would love to hear her sing…"
"Sam mentioned you had a guitar…do you play?" Sebastian felt her tense up and he almost regretted asking, but then she relaxed again.
"I used to…" she whispered, "a very long time ago…"
Sebastian lifted his head and kissed her, a soft lingering kiss and then rolled off the sofa bed to stand up. He reached for Joanna to lift her up into his arms and carry her to the bathroom. It was dark as heck, but with some searching and fumbling they managed to get cleaned up. Joanna was half relieved for the darkness, her scars still partially hidden in the shadows. She shivered…the heat of their lovemaking was gone replaced by the intense coldness of the apartment and it was still raining. At least the storm seems to be over…Sebastian covered her with a towel and then again picked her up to carry her back to the sofa.
"I can walk you know" she smiled and kissed him on the neck.
"Yeah…I know" Sebastian said when he dropped her to her feet at the foot of the sofa bed he quickly kissed her again before moving to remake the bed. Once under the comforter again Joanna cradled against his chest with her back and this time both his arms came around to hold her to him. This is nice….how on earth is she going to explain this to Jonathan?