VIII: Exs and Ohs
Remus woke to James singing. As he had every first day at Hogwarts.
"It's day one!" James trilled. Footsteps skipped around the dorm room. There was a metallic clacking that Remus could only assume was bed curtains being torn back. Then—"WORMY! IT'S TIME!"
Bed curtains being torn back…
Remus froze, clutching at his sheets. "Oh, fuck. Sirius?"
Next to him—and decidedly on top of the covers—Padfoot let out a groan, then threw his arm over his eyes. "Don't address me before eight a.m."
"James is coming around."
"Don't care."
"Doing his annual first day sing-a-long."
Now Sirius froze, as if remembering where he was. "Shit."
"Yeah."
He removed his arm from his face and stared down at Remus.
That hair…in the morning light…Remus almost couldn't handle such a thing.
"I'm fully dressed, it's fine," Sirius said. "It's not like he'll think anything—not that there's anything to even think…"
"Course not."
"Cuz we're just—"
"Yeah."
"Not that it would matter if we were—"
"Nah."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Hello sunnnnn, it's day oneeeeee!"
Sirius put on his Cool Boy face. He might as well have been wearing a leather jacket and had a cig sticking out of his mouth for how nonchalant he appeared. But his thighs were shaking.
Remus could feel them tapping against his own. He winced, prepping for the onslaught that was one James Potter.
Prongs threw open the bed curtains. He blinked down at them. Pete popped up over his shoulder, also blinking rapidly.
"I see you made up," Peter said.
At the same moment, James said, "Why didn't you invite me?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Merlin, boys."
Sirius clapped James on the shoulder sympathetically. "You were already sleeping, mate."
"Yeah, but," James pouted, hand still clenching Remus's bed curtains. "I could have been aroused."
"You mean roused," Remus pointed out.
"No, no, Rem me love. I meant what I meant." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at them.
Sirius launched himself off the bed.
James dodged away, laughing, teasing, "My jealous heart, forsake me!"
"I legitimately hate you," Remus grumbled, and rolled over to snuggle harder into the pillow.
Sirius chucked his boot at James. "I'm showering."
"Probably should. Love was made last night, gentlemen! And a great lover is hard to fin—oomph!"
"A pillow in the stomach took you down? Really, Prongs?" Peter called.
"Padfoot doesn't play fair! I wasn't prepared for a sneak attack."
"Should've been. Considering how he snuck up on Moony last night."
Remus tumbled out of bed, his own pillow in hand. "Get ready to have your arse handed to you, Wormtail."
—
Marlene's favorite thing to pull on a boy was his collar. No, not some dirty collar, though that shite was fun too.
So when she saw a particularly wolfish-looking one as she filed into Transfig the morning following the Fight, she shot out her hand and snatched.
"Ergh—what the—Marlene!" Remus spluttered. He stretched his hands out in front of him, like some sort of rogue walking dead Inferi.
"You're sitting with me." She tugged him toward the opposite side of the room from the Gryffs, and to the back row. The exact opposite of where he usually sat, Mr. Front Row Prefect Nerd Boy.
"I—but—"
She had things she needed to chat about with him. She had thoughts stirring and plans formulating, and she really didn't give one fuck if he wanted to sit with his friends. Namely, his laddy-love, Sirius.
Peter saluted Remy. Sirius waved his fingers in farewell like a first year girl.
James put a hand over his heart. "Our thoughts and prayers go with you, mate."
"Thoughts and prayers?" Remus crowed. "You could just rescue me!"
"She won't kill you," James reassured him.
"Probably," Sirius muttered.
"Probably!" James concurred brightly.
"But you won't get any notes taken either," said Peter.
"I'm a 'Claw," Marlene snapped. "Give me some credit."
"You just memorize shit," said James. "That doesn't count."
"I really do need to take notes, Marls," Remus said. He shot one more desperate look at his friends as she forced him into the seat next to her.
Peter and James were already ignoring them, plopping down into seats next to each other.
Sirius shot Remus a carefully blank look before turning. He gaped at the other two boys. "Oy! Pete, mate. That's my seat."
"I've upgraded," Pete said, and pretended to toss his hair.
"You hear that, Sirius? I'm an upgrade from Rem!" James said, beaming.
Sirius smacked his hands down on the table, staring menacingly at them both. "Listen here, you wankers—"
"Wanker?" Peter said, aghast.
"Wanker!" James repeated. He waved Sirius off. "Go sit elsewhere, you offensive prick."
At that moment, Lily entered the room. She blinked helplessly at Marlene.
"Sorry," Marlene mouthed back. She really was sorry. Ditching her best friend on day one was definitely in poor form. But moves had to be made, and Lily was not the one she needed to be making moves on.
Lily pointed to their usual spot at the front of the class.
Marlene shook her head back.
Lily shot her a very rude hand gesture—to which Remus raised his eyebrows—and slammed her books down on the table.
The chair next to her screeched as Sirius dragged it out and sat next to her.
"Your friends abandon you too?" she asked bitterly, glaring back at Marlene.
"Yup." The p popped like chewing gum.
"Solidarity."
"Cheers, bitch."
Remus eyed them shrewdly. "I don't like their budding friendship."
"It's a threat," Marlene agreed. "But we can combat it with our own."
He glared at her. "You could have just let me sit next to Sirius, and then we wouldn't have to worry about it."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" she said with a smirk.
Remus groaned and rested his head on the table. "I'm not going to be able to take notes all the way back here."
"Calm your tits, Lupin. It's the first day of classes," Marlene said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "McGee will just drone on and on about our NEWTS and we'll learn nothing of importance. And besides, it's not like you would've gotten any notes down, sitting next to his highness."
Remus sat back up. He stole a glance at Sirius, who had just tossed his hair at James. "Perhaps you're right."
"Course I'm right."
"Why'd you want me to sit by you anyway?"
At that moment, the doors flew open. McGonagall strode down the center aisle, uptight and catlike as always. She pivoted on her heel at the front, and smacked her wand against the chalkboard.
The acronym NEWTS appeared.
Marlene whipped out a piece of parchment and a quill.
"I thought we weren't taking notes," Remus hissed out of the corner of his mouth.
She shoved the parchment at him.
We're not.
"Marlene Ethel McKinnon, no. Absolutely not, no. I am not passing notes with you like a first—"
"Mr. Lupin, do you have something you'd like to add?" McGonagall asked.
The entire class turned to stare at him. The Marauders were smirking. Lily had an eyebrow raised and a secret little smile.
"N—no, Professor."
"You sure, Remus?" James asked, propping his head in his hand.
"You have the floor, after all," Peter said.
Remus gritted his teeth. "I'm sure."
Chuckles and whispers rebounded.
Marlene choked so hard on her laughter, tears fell down her face. Leave it to the Marauders to make day one interesting.
"Brilliant," Sirius said, swiveling back around. "Minnie, listen, about SNOOTS—"
"It's NEWTS, Mr. Black."
"Nuance. Anyway, how mandatory are these exams?"
McGonagall gave him an unamused look and went back to her speech.
You're a bitch, Marlene, Remus wrote is tiny, neat letters.
Harsh words for your girlfriend, Remy baby.
Want do you want anyway? Why were you so desperate to sit by me?
Hot snogs, obvi.
From the gay boy, yes.
Gay, straight, bi, whatever you are, kissing is always a thrill. Unless it's Snape.
His poor mother.
Marlene snorted and snatched back the parchment, scribbling fiercely. Her quill scratched relentlessly, and she noticed Remus's eye twitch a bit.
She smirked. Most people were taking notes. Though she suspected that, since James and Peter were sharing a piece of parchment, their notes were much like hers.
Oddly, Sirius and Lily were sharing parchment as well.
She tapped the paper against Remus's elbow, and he looked down.
I've got a bit of plan. A bargain, really. It'll help both of us.
With what?
What else?
Men?
Keep up, Rem. Anyway, it involves SNOGing.
Marls, look, I won't lie, you're good, but—
Marlene snatched the parchment away from him. Of course I'm good. But I don't mean snogging as in "the act of kissing." Unless you want me to mean that. Though I don't know if I even WANT to snog you again...but you were pretty good. Solid eight.
Then what DO you mean?
It's an acronym.
For?
—
That was cold of Marlene, right?
What was?
Giving away my seat like that.
How about, stealing Remus like that?
Lily snorted. You sad she stole him from you?
Well, I didn't ask to sit by you either, Head Girl. You don't even have an iced coffee with you.
Is that all I'm worth to you?
Frankly, yes.
A smirk played on her lips. You're a liar, Sirius Black.
Am not.
You enjoy spending time with me.
Never have. Won't start now.
Liar, liar, liiiiaaaa—
Sirius grabbed the paper. He ducked his head to avoid McG's sharp look and scrawled back, You want honesty, Evans?
She tapped her quill against her chin, twitching her lips from side to side.
Yes.
Remember, you asked: No, I don't like you. It's that simple.
She blinked down at the parchment, gulping. Her quill squealed angrily as she wrote back, You're not particularly pleasant either, aSshole.
Sirius chuckled. Been told. But I have a very specific reason for not liking you. Want to hear it?
Lily glared at him.
I won't deny James's bigheadedness for even a moment. But he's my best mate. It's. That. Simple.
You're upset...because I've rejected your best mate? That's misogynistic.
No. I'm upset because of how you do it. How you've done it. And the fact that you're still doing it...for no bloody reason.
It's that simple, eh?
It's.
That.
Simple.
So that's it, then? You'll never like me? Not that I need you to like me. But it's fucking stupid you won't accept me until I decide to go out with James.
I used to hate you because I'm bloody loyal. Then, because of how you treated him last year, when it was clear he didn't deserve it. But shit got different this summer.
What's different because of this summer?
Because now it doesn't make sense why you're even rejecting him.
Lily froze. She glanced over her shoulder at James. He looked up from his notes with Pete, beamed, and ruffled his hair.
I don't know what you're talking about, Black.
Yes, you do.
Siriu—
He stole back the parchment. You have absolutely no Merlin-given reason to reject him anymore.
S—
Because you like him.
It's.
That.
Simple.
Lily leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. Under her breath, she muttered. "It is, isn't it?"
—
James and Peter were discussing very important things, too.
X
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X
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X
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"Ah-HAH!"
"Mr. Pettigrew!" McGonagall snapped. "Detention."
Sirius let out a low whistle. "That must be a new record, Pete."
"No, James was the record," Remus piped up from the back of the class.
Sirius's head snapped around.
James glanced back and forth between them. He was Padfoot's best mate, so he noticed more subtle things that a regular bloke wouldn't—that even another Marauder wouldn't. Like how Sirius's eyes suddenly snagged on Moony's hair, and widened a bit. How they flicked down to the other boy's lips, before focusing on the back wall instead of on any part of Moony's face.
Sure, it was only for a split second. But James had been wondering what was different and how between his two mates.
He was beginning to understand.
"Since when?" Sirius asked.
"Since third year, five minutes into our first class, when he called Professor McGonagall—"
James stood up, his chair toppling over with a CRASH behind him. This was his cue. "My wife! Oh, Minnie. Has it really been four years since that fateful day?" He clutched a hand to his heart.
"DETENTION! All four of you fools!" McGonagall barked, just as the class ended.
"Now that's an anniversary gift, right there," Sirius said. He smiled, gathering his books and clapping James on the back.
"I'll be sure to bring flowers for our date, Minnie!" James said with a wink.
Peter sniffed and wiped away a fake tear. "She truly missed us."
—
There was yet another scramble for seats in Charms.
Again, Marlene grabbed Remus by the collar. "Don't tell him!"
"Don't tell who what?" Remus asked. He was getting a little tired of all these secrets, and wasn't sure what he was supposed to even keep to himself anymore.
"That I told you."
"Told me WHAT?"
"About the kissing."
"Ah." He knew she didn't mean their kissing from yesterday. Because Sirius had already witnessed that. She must have meant that kissing for her meant snogging and snogging was an acronym for...well, he still wasn't sure what it was for. Peter had rudely interrupted them.
"Remy, I'm serious."
He tilted his head to study at her. "Are you really? Dyed your hair blonde, did you? And where are you hiding your—"
Lily grabbed Remus's wrist and yanked him to the far end of the long table. "You're sitting with me this time, love. I've got questions."
"You birds today, I swear to Merlin..."
—
Most dramatic first day back EVER. Already got us a detention.
Yeah, we're thrilled, Wormy, Sirius wrote back.
Maybe she'll let us do it together.
Doubtful.
Why do all the girls want to sit with Moony today, do you reckon?
Because he's fit.
Oooo you're jealous.
Sirius snorted. Hardly.
No, no. You want to sit by Moony too. And you can't. And it's killing you.
Pete—
I'm exciting too, you know.
So's the giant squid.
—
Who says I want to pass notes with you, Black?
I don't know, McKinnon. Just seems like it's your thing today.
Oh, go back to talking to Petey.
No.
The fuck you want?
The fuck you and Remus talk about?
You'd just LOVE to know, wouldn't you?
Yes.
Sorry. Private. It's a snogging buddy thing.
I used to be your snogging buddy.
Yes, I know.
In more ways than one.
Yes. I know.
So.
So.
Which type of snogging buddy is he?
You would just LOVE to know, wouldn't you?
Sirius glared at her and hissed, "I will kill you, McKinnon."
Baby, I would love to see you try.
—
X
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X
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X
O
"Damnit," James whispered.
Marlene blew a raspberry at him.
—
X
O
X
O
X
O
Why do I keep losing?
How often do you play tic-tac-toe? Lily asked.
Often enough to get detention with Minnie.
Honestly, it makes no sense WHY you keep losing, especially since you always insist on playing X like a big fat baby.
Hey! I'm not fat.
No, you aren't.
James waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Been noticing this physique, Evans?"
Flitwick's eyes flickered toward them and away.
Be quiet, you dolt.
I'm sorry. I'm too much. Remembering that now. Cataloging for future reference.
You're not too much, James.
Oh?
You're just too loud. And I'm not getting a detention for you.
I thought you were a Gryffy, Lils. I thought you were loyal.
Do not. Call me Lils.
Right. Cataloging.
It's fine. It's...
It's what?
It's...what my parents used to call me.
Ah. Are you...
What?
I want to ask if you're doing okay. And I know it's been a bit since the accident. But I also don't entirely know how you best deal with things. So I don't want to bring up a terrible subject. But I also also don't want to have to catalog again.
James.
Yes?
Ask.
Are you doing okay?
No. I'm not.
—
James's got you crying already? What did he say this time?
I'm not crying.
You're sniffling.
Not his fault.
Remus raised his eyebrows. That's a pleasant surprise.
You know what else is a pleasant surprise?
No...
YOU AND MARLENE.
Ah. That.
YOU SNOGGED.
We did.
Well?
Well, what?
Are you going to keep snogging?
Remus scratched the back of his neck. Yes?
Question mark yes.
Yes a question mark yes.
Why is this a question mark yes?
Because my idiot best mates play too much tic-tac-toe and interrupted us right when we'd started discussing it.
Ah, that. Listen—does James ALWAYS choose X?
Why, he still losing?
Yes.
Bless him.
—
Potions turned out a bit differently. Because one didn't generally take notes during potions (or play tic-tac-toe). And because it was double blocked. And because they all knew who was skilled in this class—and who was not—and who they would fight to sit next to.
"No one ever wants to sit at a table with me," Peter grumbled. It didn't hurt his feelings. Mostly. Because he was absolute shite at the subject. But it'd be nice to not be the leftover friend for once.
Especially since the consequence of his leftoverness was sitting by Snivellus.
"I don't imagine they would," Snape snipped back. "With that cheese smell coming off of you."
"Keep your hooked nose on that side of the table."
Snape hissed.
"Sorry, that probably isn't possible for you, is it?"
—
"Lover!" James squealed, opening his arms.
"Mate!" Sirius squealed back, throwing himself into them.
"Precious," Marlene sneered, setting up at the table in front of them.
"They've been separated all morning," Remus said from in front of her and Lily. Next to him was a rather quiet Slytherin girl, Dorcas Meadowes. "Let them have this."
"They don't do much apart, do they?" Lily asked. When they'd been young, she'd thought it was creepy. But now…it was almost endearing. Like they really weren't friends; they were brothers.
She didn't imagine she would ever be lucky enough to have a friendship like that.
"How do you think James kept intercepting your owls to Sirius this summer?" said Remus.
"You were owling Sirius?" Marlene asked, eyes wide.
"I didn't respond," Sirius called back.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Black, for making your rejection of me public."
"Course, love."
"What is funny," Lily continued to Marlene, smirking, "is that I didn't initiate our letters. Sirius did."
"Oy!"
"Did he now?" Remus asked thoughtfully.
"Oh yes," said Lily. "Owled me, asking for some assistance."
"Lily, keep your traitorous mouth shut," Sirius warned.
"And what, pray tell, could the Most Noble and Asshole Boy of Black possibly want from you, Head Girl?" Marlene asked.
Lily glanced out of the corner of her eye at the boys' table. Sirius eyes were blazing, furious. But James's face was what really caught her interest. His mouth was drawn, his eyes on his potion.
So slight she was sure no one else noticed it, he shook his head.
Lily tripped over her words, backtracking. "Um, a recipe, actually."
"...a recipe?" Remus asked.
She nodded. She knew he didn't believe her, but perhaps the lie had worked fo rate others. "For iced coffee."
Sirius slammed his hand on the table. "Nothing is sacred."
—
Marlene went back to easily chatting with Lily. Behind them all, Peter grumbled into his glugging potion. James himself was quiet, concentrating on the rather advanced brew.
Sirius caught Remus's eye.
Merlin, Moony knew Lily was lying.
Which meant it was only a matter of time until the questions began.
—
That matter of time was after classes, out by the lake. They'd decided to sneak dinner outside and, with a hideously blue blanket provided by Marlene, the Marauders and two girls settled underneath a shady tree.
Marlene swatted at a bug crawling across her blanket. "You'd better know a bloody good cleaning spell, Potter."
James shrugged and popped a Brussel sprout in his mouth. "That's Pete's department."`
"Don't like outdoors, Marlene?" Peter asked, slurping noisily on his butter beer.
She blew a leaf out of her face. "Not even in the slightest."
"I'll hook you up, then. I'm quite the cleaner."
"It's true," Remus said with a shrug. "The Shack is always spotless when I…come to."
Sirius shot him a sympathetic look. It was two fold. In part, due to Remus having to even be a werewolf and go through that pain in the first place. In another part, due to the Incident being the last time they'd spent a full moon on Hogwarts grounds.
The blanket went quiet. The other Marauders felt it too.
"You're a gloomy lot," Lily said, looking between them all suspiciously.
"Full moons make a mockery of our moods, Lilyflower," James said.
"Let's work on that nickname, shall we?"
Suddenly, Peter was on his knees and clapping excitedly. "You two don't have nicknames! Oh this will be fun."
Lily eyed him shrewdly. "Neither do you all."
"Oh, yes we do. We're—"
But James slapped a hand over Peter's mouth. "We're Jam and Petey and Rem and Mongrel Star."
Sirius shot him a glare. "Not once have you called me that."
"Not to your face."
Marlene snorted. "I doubt you'll be able to come up with something better than Mongrel Star."
The group continued chattering. Sirius lazily looked back and forth between all of them, and was inclined to defend himself when "Mongrel" was voiced once more, when he felt fingers brush against his own. He looked down at his hand that was leaning on the blanket.
"What's up, Rem?" Sirius whispered, eyes catching amber.
Remus raised a brow. "You're not going to tell me what you owled Lily about this summer?"
"Would rather not."
"Why not?" Moony asked, tilting his head.
Sirius sighed and tugged at a loose thread in the blanket. "Remember our little...bookshop spat?"
"Spat. Right. That's what it was." Remus elbowed him, like he was trying to keep the mood light. "Go on."
"Wouldn't have been any bookshop spatting had I not owled Evans."
"Figured. But about wha...oh."
His eyes darted around, like Moony was thinking. Considering. Then, they settled on Sirius again.
Sirius held his gaze steadily. He would not show weakness here. Yeah, it'd been a shot to his pride, asking Evans, of all people, for help. But it had worked, hadn't it? And he'd been desperate, hadn't he?
"You wanted help?" Remus asked quietly.
"Yeah."
"With...?" he motioned between them, his finger brushing Sirius's chest.
Sirius fought the urge to grab Remus's hand. Instead, he swallowed and repeated roughly, "Yeah."
Remus's eyes crinkled when he smiled. "That's sweet, Mongrel Star."
"I will bite you."
"Probably shouldn't. You will—quite literally—catch diseases."
—
They were walking back up to the castle, moon on the verge of full above them, when Remus finally got his chance. He was at the back of the group, joking around with Sirius. Lily and James were doing their weird stutter-flirting, while Peter and Marlene bickered.
In a rather quickly ingenious moment, Remus dropped Marlene's blanket.
She froze and pivoted on her heel. "Remy."
He grinned.
James snatched both Peter's and Lily's sleeves. "We'll leave you all to it." He dragged them into the castle.
Sirius glanced back and forth between them, his face fighting with concern and amusement and...something else. Something Remus couldn't quite put his finger on.
Jealousy maybe? Or perhaps…longing?
But his expression smoothed out. Instead, he dipped his chin and saluted Remus. "I've decided to follow them. Merlin bless you, mate."
He hurried off.
Usually, Remus would have called after his friends. But usually, Remus was far less careless. And yeah, he had Marlene fuming.
But he also finally had her all to himself.
He grabbed the blanket and jogged away from her, away from the castle, holding it up. "What did you mean in your note today, Marls?"
"Remy baby, if you don't give me back my blanket right fucking now—"
"How is snogging an acronym? What does it really mean?"
"You better be able to replicate Peter's cleaning spells, or I'll—"
Remus held up his wand to the blanket. "You'll what?"
Again she froze. "Rem, I promise to tell you as soon as you give me back the blanket..."
He flicked his wand and red sparks shot out.
"IT STANDS FOR SHIT NO ONE GETS, ALL RIGHT?!"
This time, he almost dropped the blanket on accident. "I'm sorry, what?"
Marlene rolled her eyes and marched toward him. "Shit. No. One. Gets."
"Shit No One Gets?"
"Yeah. It's something Sirius and I invented in fourth year."
"Right after you started snogging?"
"You mean, SNOGging."
Remus tapped his wand on his chin. "That was right after I SNOGged Gwynny..."
"You mean, snogged."
"Right, that's what I said."
Marlene tugged back her blanket and shook it out. Muttering darkly, she started making her way back up to the castle.
He hurried to catch up to her. Running a hand through his hair—blimey, he really ought to cut it—he said, "But I still don't understand. What does Shit No One Gets even mean? Why make up an acronym that fit the word 'snog' in the first place?"
Marlene sighed and paused, leaning against a stone archway. He leaned against the opposite side, crossing his arms.
"Look," she said, "we were fourteen, all right? And we were in a broom closet. And we were giggling about why people would find broom closets snog-worthy in the first place. And that's why we chose SNOG as the acronym. But the name itself..."
Remus waved his hand. "Go on."
"The name itself," she continued quietly, "pertains to how we have no one to commiserate with about our dark stuff. How we have shit no one gets."
Remus kicked at a stone on the ground, feeling after feeling filling him. Guilt, at not being able to support Sirius correctly. At not knowing Sirius even needed a different form of support. Anger, that he couldn't be that support. That Sirius couldn't find that within the Marauders and had to go for outside help. And...
Jealousy.
It was the green monster that took over as Remus asked, "Why'd he pick you?"
Marlene gave him a brave smile, her eyes all watery. "He didn't. I picked him."
—
Was she really going to tell him? Was she really going to do this?
No. Not tonight. Her story was for a different time. The boys came first. And after that, well…
Her shit was on pause anyway.
Indefinitely.
—
Something inside of Remus crumpled at her expression. He took a step forward and cupped her cheek with his hand. "Marlene...look, it's none of my business but I didn't know—"
She sniffed and jerked away, starting inside. "No one knows I got shit, Remy baby. Except for two people. And the second person isn't Lily. So don't go poking your nose around in it, got it?"
"Sure, but I—"
"You'll know when I want you to know, and not a second sooner, got it?"
"Yeah, Marls. Got it."
"Good. Because." She wiped her eyes, rolled back her shoulders, transformed into Marlene again. Girl with the mischievous glint in her eye and unpredictable mouth. Girl with nothing to prove but dying to prove it all anyway. "I want to talk about our bargain now, since those losers have disappeared."
"Right, and what bargain is this?" Remus asked, loping along beside her, hands in his pockets.
They were winding their way up through the castle, clearly heading toward Ravenclaw Tower.
"The bargain to get you and Sirius together, of course."
Remus thought he would choke on his own tongue. "Mar—Marlene!"
"Oh, please, I saw you two tonight. And after the bloody tantrum he threw on the train yesterday? He's got it—bad."
"No, he hasn't."
"Yes, he has. Moonsick as fuck, that one, if ya know what I mean."
"I truly wish I didn't."
They reached her Common Room door.
Remus scuffed his toe against the stone floor. "Marlene…you can't…possibly think…"
"Think what?"
"That…" When he looked up, her blue eyes were shining—with mirth. He glowered at her. "That he fancies me."
"Think? No. Know?" She leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek. "Yes."
"He's said something to you?"
She shook her head. "He doesn't have to. I know him as well as I know myself. And I'm a girl. And blokes are thick."
"Marls, I don't know…he really doesn't seem it…"
"Because he hasn't even admitted it to himself yet. But he will, Remy. With this plan, he'll have no choice but to let that ego get the best of him and take you in the finest broom closet. Seventh floor near the Astronomy Tower, by the way.."
Remus raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly is this plan of yours?"
Marlene lifted the eagle door knocker.
Its eyes flew open, and it croaked, "I come after, but never before. Unable to catch up is my sorrow."
When Marlene answered, she looked at Remus rather than the door. "Tomorrow."
She slipped into her Common Room.
Remus slapped his hand on the doorframe. Maybe he'd get his fingers crushed—but maybe he'd also get some answers from this obnoxious tease of a girl. "You said bargain. How will this benefit you?"
"That's for me to know, Remy baby," she said, prying his fingers away. "And perhaps for you to find out."
With a girlish wave, she disappeared.