A gentle breeze rolled through the field of endless green. The calm of the weather and tone of the following conversation contrasted heavily with the intention and meaning behind their words. The Witch of Greed and the Sin Archbishop of Pride were calm and casual as they talked about the severing of a millennia old contact.
Echidna: As I've said, I will tell you if you fulfill some requirements.
Subaru: Have I fulfilled your first requirement?
Echidna: Yes, your assumption is correct.
Subaru leaned forward in his chair, placing his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands.
Subaru: Is that a response to my question regarding the requirements that I just made or to an earlier question?
She put down her tea cup and narrowed her eyes at him, smile eerily widening.
Echidna: I truly do wonder, Natsuki Subaru… How is it that you're so sharp? What made you this way? I would love to know your story.
Greedy Bitch.
He lifted his head up and smiled at her.
Subaru: Too bad Bitch of Greed, I've got shit to do and places to be. Neither of those things involve you.
She closed her eyes, smile fixed on her face, as she continued.
Echidna: I was offended that you thought it but I am impressed you actually said it.
She opened them again to reveal, for just a second, an intense need. An intense Greed. Had it lingered, it would have unnerved even him.
Echidna: You really are something special, Natsuki Subaru.
He dismissed all the cryptic nonsense that surrounded the woman. He had dealt with the most twisted personalities this world had to offer and he'd learned it was best not to think about the inner workings of their souls.
Subaru: I'm getting real tired of your mind games, Witch. Answer my question or do I need to ask it in full every time? My name isn't Phoenix Fucking Wright. Talking in loopholes doesn't suit me.
She sighed and leaned back in her chair, relaxing her plastered-on smile ever so slightly.
Echidna: I guess nothing more can be gained from antagonizing you. That would have likely worked on any other impatient, rash Natsuki Subaru. But you're different.
She stared at him with unusually intense eyes, as if she were searching for something. They reminded him of Roswaal's from earlier in the loop but a thousand times more powerful. A thousand clowns is… well terrifying actually but they're still just clowns. What're they gonna do? All exit a single really small car at me?
Subaru: Yes, yes. I'm insane and prideful. We're both well aware. Now less flattery and mind games, more answers and contract breaking.
She gave him a seemingly genuine pout.
Echidna: I may, how do you say it, sound like a broken record here but you're really no fun.
He simply yawned at her.
Echidna: You know, it's quite rude to be falling asleep in the middle of a conversation.
Fuck I'm tired. Wait a sec. She was stalling wasn't she? Why am I so sleepy? This didn't happen last time.
He frantically looked around with his rather heavy eyes. He noticed the change.
Subaru: The yawn tea. It has something to do with yaaaawn keeping me here doesn't it?
She gave her standard smile to him.
Echidna: Yes and No. But all will be answered in time.
The table vanished along with the parasol and her chair. She stood over him and held a hand at his chest.
That's not concerning at all.
She gazed down at his crotch and then back at his face.
Echidna: I thought it would be bigger.
Subaru: I'm a grower.
The rolling green fields began to dissipate and the world started to fill with naught but the void.
Echidna: Where was all this quick wit when were committed partners? You're making my maidenly heart tremble, you know.
Subaru: Yaaaaawwwnn.
And with that, Subaru's chair disappeared and Echidna gave him a light shove as he fell backwards into the portal growing behind him.
Subaru: You better not do this shit again or I'll break the da-
And like that, Echidna was once again alone in her Castle of Dreams.
It may have been the lighting, or lack thereof, but one might have been able to see a slight blush on her face in the moments after Subaru left.
Subaru opened his eyes to his moonlit room. He let go of the crystal, shoving it off the bed. If it breaks it breaks. I'm too damn sleepy to care.
He crawled his way into the sheets of the bed and closed his eyes, falling into a proper sleep for the first time in many thousands of deaths.
The darkness returned to him. Or rather, he returned to the darkness. The boundless void stretched in every direction endlessly. Yet, this time was different. He felt odd to say the least.
I feel more present this time. And I can actually think thoughts now in this dream world. Is this what an acid trip feels like?
The darkness rippled and shifted. It molded from a large expanse into a flat plain upon which something other than the darkness stood proudly.
?: Keeping me locked away for so long… Do you lack any basic human decency? You're violating my right to speak my mind! Let alone my right to be with my wives, that you ripped away!
?: Ahhh you, who is so loved, who is so blessed, how can one so loved and so blessed be sO SLOTHFUL! My brain trembles at the thought... DESU!
Aren't these fuckers supposed to be dead? These are literally the only two that died in this world. I'm very confused.
?: Staying silent huh? Refusing to even show your face huh? That's a breach of common etiquette! Of common decency! Of common rights! You're so selfish. You, who thinks you're more important than a truly satisfied existence like myself.
?: You were never a follower of love, could never be a follower of love, could never dream to be a follower of love and yet yet yet yet yet yET YET YET YET YET YET YOU ARE SO LOVED!
Now I'm more annoyed than confused. I can't even close my eyes or cover my ears to- Where are my eyes? Where are my ears? Where is my body?!
A third figure emerged from the shadows as the other two were absorbed by them once more.
?: I love you.
I'd glare at you if I had eyes to glare with.
?: I love you.
This better not become a nightly thing.
?: I love you. I love you. I love you.
I'd sigh if I were physically capable.
She repeated those words over and over as Subaru's mind started to fog. His focus and attention wavered.
A-am I falling asleep in a dream? I should've watched Inception more than once.
?: -ubaru-sama! Subaru-sama! Wake up!
His eyes still closed, he rolled onto his side and grumbled, "Five more minutes…"
?: Come on sleepyhead! You already slept in! You even missed breakfast!
He simply kept his eyes shut and ignored the voice.
?: Jeez… I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me no choice.
Subaru felt the sheets covering his body rip away from him. He would have been incredibly angry at the snatching away of the comforting warmth had his annoyance not been redirected towards the incredibly loud, high pitched scream that followed the action.
?: KYAAAAA!
Subaru: WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!
His eyes snapped open as he glared at the feminine alarm clock before him. He saw that she was blushing beat red and her hands were covering her face. Although, that did not stop her from peaking through the gaps between her fingers.
He looked down to see what she was staring at and noticed he was, in fact, still naked.
Subaru: Huh.
He looked back up at the red faced maid who's eyes had shifted down his body.
Subaru: Okay, nope. Not doing this, kid.
He quickly jumped from the bed, snatched the sheets from her and covered his lower half with them. She was still blushing furiously.
Subaru: Petra, how old are you now?
Petra: I-I'm-
Subaru: Actually, don't answer that. I can already tell I'd be arrested with a single look at you.
The door behind them slammed open and the pink haired maid stood in the doorway with a concerned look. She glanced around the room, processed the situation in less than a second, and then glared at Subaru.
Subaru: First of all, you're supposed to yell "FBI OPEN UP!" when you do that. And second, I know what it looks like but I'll have you know that I was sleeping naked and Petra rudely ripped off my sheets.
She maintained her glare as Petra interjected, "I-it's true Ram-neesama. He was sleeping for a long time s-so I ripped his sheets off a-and..."
She began to mutter to herself as the blush strengthened on her face, seemingly recalling what she saw. Ram's glare at him sharpened.
Ram: I am sorry for the commotion, Subaru-sama.
Ram walked towards Petra and whispered rather loudly in her ear, "If Barusu acted like a vile beast towards you like the trash that he is, then you don't have to lie about it. You can always tell Ram after we leave the room."
Subaru: You know I can hear you right?!
Ram courteously bowed and pulled Petra down along with her.
Ram: Again, I apologize for the commotion Subaru-sama. We will take our leave now. Lunch will be in about an hour's time.
With that, the pink haired maid and the orange maid with the reddened face left the room.
Subaru: Ram, huh? All I need to find now is a Rim and a Rum. "Gotta catch 'em all" after all.