Chapter 8 "Send Me An Angel" (July 9-16, 1984)

"Do you believe in heaven above

Do you believe in love

Don't tell a lie. Don't be false and untrue

It all comes back to you

Open fire!

On my burning heart

I've never been lucky in love

My defenses are down

A kiss or a frown

I can't survive on my own"

Real Life, "Send Me an Angel"

Janine

The evening of June 16-Therapy

On the subway, I tried meditating on the way to my therapist's office to quiet my mind's constant fretting about my appointment after spending the day shopping and dishing about men with Lucy. The clamor, the weirdos, and the subway reek prevented me from obtaining the serenity I wanted to achieve to tackle therapy today. Sighing, I exited the station at my stop and strolled to my therapist's building near the Columbia campus.

"Columbia reminds me of HIM," I muttered and thought about my favorite t-shirt of Dr. Spengler's that I used to like to wear on occasion when I slept over at the firehouse while we dated. It was a solid light blue with the words "Columbia University" on one side and the coat of arms on the back, and it smelled like a mix of Egon's nautical cologne and his particular scent. As a result, I adored it. On occasion, when the guys were in a bust, I would take a sniff if I was missing Dr. Spengler or if I needed to relax.

It was now almost five fifteen, and the cruel July sun beat down on us New Yorkers as we hurried from place to place in the vast city. Craning my neck up, I detected the tall buildings around me, and I felt like a tiny ant in a giant anthill searching for food. Regrettably, I wiped the sweat from my brow and kept moving.

" I shouldn't be sweating so much unless I am playing racquetball or if I am having sex," I drily quipped, rolling my eyes upward as I strode quickly to the air-conditioned professional building. The sky was aqua blue but clear without any clouds.

Hopefully, I will watch a sunset tonight before my match at seven-thirty, especially since it had been an immensely long time since I had an opportunity to behold one. Soon I would have my chance when Bree and I go on vacation, and that small fact made me feel jocular.

Dr. Monika Smith-Telles was a short, stocky lady in her late forties with an easy-going and trustworthy personality that made it extraordinarily straightforward for one to confide in. Consequently, a friend of Peter Venkman, but I never inquired how they were friends (some things are just better left unsaid, I guess). She covered her gray hair by dying it a pale blonde and owned a pair of violet eyes that were intriguing because of their color. Her makeup was caked on her face, almost like Tammy Faye Baker, though.

"Hi Janine, how are you," Dr. Smith-Telles inquired as I sat down on the green love seat in her office. She gave me an amiable smile, and I muttered that I was OK.

"How's Peter," she questioned, then took a sip from her coffee mug.

"Well. Enjoying the success of the Ghostbusters and the attention it is bringing him...well, them," I answered, emphasizing the word him and noticing that she chuckled at my choice to stress it. Dr. Smith-Telles knew Dr. Venkman well enough if she knew how much he adored the recognition.

"It is exhilarating to have a former colleague as a local celebrity," Dr. Smith-Telles commented, offhandedly, "where did we leave off last week, Janine?"

Although I desired to probe more about Peter, I reminded her that I had left off where Egon had been given a tranquilizer before attacking Victor.

As I watched Ray and Lucy carry Egon to his bed in his shared bedroom, Peter had thrown me over his shoulder like a little girl throwing a tantrum. Sadly, I felt that way because I was throwing a fit by kicking, hitting, and screaming as he picked me up.

"Peter Venkman put me down! This dress is expensive. Put me down right now," I cried sonorously, beating his back with my fists. Maniacally, he laughed out of craziness or shock. When Peter, at last, laid me down gently on his bed, I interrogated him frantically,

"Is Egon going to be all right? Peter, he's bleeding badly, and he has a black eye forming. I have to be there when he wakes up, and I want to take care of him."

Although he laid me down, I sat up promptly awaiting his response, wild-eyed and frightened for Egon's health.

"Yes, Brooklyn, I promise your beloved will be fine, but you must alleviate your stress levels for a short time first. You will stay here with Lucy to cool off-pray, meditate, sleep, take a bath, punch a pillow. I don't care. Just do it. You can't help Egon by acting cuckoo," Peter coolly replied, defusing the situation the best that he could.

Next, he gave me a short embrace, noting I was still weeping.

"It's this or a tranquilizer, Janine, and I am not afraid to administer it to you. Lucy will stay there for right now while you calm down," Dr. V. assuaged, " Please, Brooklyn."

"I'm just so worried about him; to see him hurt like that tears my heart apart," I whispered, heartbroken.

"J, please, listen to Pete, and then you can go to your man," Lucy confirmed, looking perplexed herself. Wiping my eyes, I exhaled loudly, "Ok."

So, I excused myself to go to the restroom because I had to pee and locked the door after I washed my hands, dried them. I dared myself to look into the mirror- there, I stood, peering back at myself in an elegant red satiny sleeveless dress with my black eyeliner and mascara running down my face. My face was swollen from crying, and matching bags materialized underneath my eyes. To soothe me, I reached down to feel the dress's material between my fingers because I loved it. For a second, it made me jubilant until I detected the gash underneath my eye courtesy of Victor. Sniffling first, then I began to cry again. My heart felt heavy in my chest, and I felt downtrodden,

"What the hell is happening today!? This is the most confusing day of my life," I cried out loud in an exclamation.

Quietly, I washed my face meticulously, then patted it dry with a towel. I put it down, detecting that my hands were trembling, and my emotions were at an overload as I scowled.

"Stupid Victor, I knew I should have just broken up with him," I mumbled to myself as I gingerly grazed the wounded area with my fingertips. It stung a little, and I searched Venkman's bathroom cabinets for some rubbing alcohol to clean the cut. When I found some, I wet some tissue paper to clean it off, and it burned as I did so. I sucked in my breath as I wiped the area clean and flushed the paper down the toilet. Afterward, I washed my hands and went into the bedroom, where I sat on the bed. My charm bracelet twinkled as I moved, and I grinned, hearing it.

First, I used my fingers to touch the sapphire heart, then the rose and the horseshoe charms. Lastly, I caressed my favorite one, an Angel.

A warmness engulfed my heart as a result.

Lucy's expression was one of anxiety, and she began to speak to cover the oddness. Dismissing her with a shake of my head horizontally, I indicated that I couldn't talk yet. I had to process everything, so I flopped down on the bed and fastened my eyes shut for a moment.

"What happened next," Dr. Smith-Telles inquired, wide-eyed. She scratched out some notes on her legal pad after I commenced speaking again.

"I fell asleep for a short while," I explained, "I guess I was so emotionally saturated that I was knocked out."

"You were inundated with emotions, what kind," she further probed.

"Thunderstruck, distraught about Egon's wounds, inundated with love and tenderness for him, furious with Victor, proud and honored that Egon loved me so much that he took this action," I revealed," I still feel the same way, but I am not fretful. Egon's cuts have healed, and his black eye is gone, too."

"Have you communicated to him outside of work," Dr. Smith questioned, "Or as he approached you?"

"No, Egon's giving me space. Of course, he is my boss, and I have to see him," I replied uneasily. Dr. Smith-Telles prodded me to continue.

I awoke to a dark room feeling bewildered to what occurred as it felt like a dream or a plot in a movie. As soon as I remembered, I rolled off Dr. Venkman's bed and scampered out to the landing precipitously. Lucy and Peter were speaking in hushed tones until my appearance because they did not expect me to show up.

Both gave me wide-eyed surprise expressions, almost like I caught them misbehaving. When I asked how long I had been asleep, they told me it had been twenty minutes. I sat down in an empty chair then turned to glare at Ray and Egon's bedroom door.

"How is Egon?"

"Fine, Janine. Asleep," Peter said reassuringly.

Dr. Venkman had retrieved a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard and brought four shot glasses to the table. Three were already faced down, indicating that the others had used them. Lucy and Peter had been taking shots, and I assumed Ray had, too. Peter twisted the cap off and poured me a shot in the clean glass. My right hand wavered as I picked it up and brought it to my lips. I didn't like the smell of hard liquor, but I needed to calm down. Swiftly, the liquid was gone, and I put the shot glass down as Venkman lit a cigarette for himself.

"May I have one" I inquired; my expression was one of devastation, and my voice sounded like a little girl terrified out of her mind, which I was.

Nodding, Dr. Venkman handed me a smoking stick from his pack and flipped his BIC lighter as I brought it to my lips. I had quit about ten years ago, and I only smoked when I was perturbed like now. After I inhaled the tobacco and exhaled, I thanked him. We didn't speak as we smoked our cigarettes until Lucy inquired, "How are you holding up, J?"

She rose from her seat next to Peter and went to the kitchen to open the refrigerator.

"What happened to your face," Peter questioned.

"Is it bleeding again!? My face burns a little from Victor's ring," I explained as Lucy came back to the table with an ice pack for me to put on my cut. I exhaled a cloud of smoke from my mouth as I tried not to think about it.

"Yes, a little. Did that mother f**ker do that," Peter's voice rose in anger as he pounded his fist on the table while questioning me. It was rare that he became that sore, and even Lucy, who had known him longer than I had, was stunned. He poured another shot for himself.

"No more Peter," Lucy warned, glowered at him, " you have had four."

"Lucy, you don't have any...," Peter argued and poured another one for himself. Afterward, she swiftly took the bottle and gave him a "shhh" sound with her index finger over her lips.

"What is going on here?" I finally inquired after watching the interaction because I missed something.

Sighing, Peter glared at Lucy, who shook her head from, side to side, then they both said "nothing."

"At the time, I didn't know there was tension between them because they had just ended their relationship two weeks prior," I elucidated to Dr. Smith-Telles, "but that is not here nor there."

"One more shot," Lucy probed me.

My gaze fell towards Egon's bedroom, and I felt tears fall from my eyes as Peter put his cigarette in the ashtray, exhaling a cloud of smoke above my head.

"Half, please, and that is it," I answered, firmly, after wiping the tears away," I hate whiskey, but I feel like I am a little calmer. My body doesn't handle hard liquor well."

After I put my cigarette out, I sighed heavily.

"What are you going to do with Iggy," Dr. V. Probed.

"I-I-I...don't...know. First, I have to make sure that he is OK," I stammered, forlornly and Lucy examined me closely as I spoke. She looked thoughtful.

"In May, we broke up for good," I reminded him, wearily, "I can't allow him to string me along, Peter."

I didn't feel like engaging in the argument coming with Dr. V, although he meant well and watched out for both my and Egon's wellbeing. The differing emotions I felt of love and being honored from Egon's valiant actions now, but also of anger, disappointment, and irritation at my beloved's choice to dump me in May were disconcerting.

"But you two are deeply in love with each other," my boss countered, lighting another cigarette, and I downed my second shot.

"Egon has to prove to me that he wants to be with me," I growled at him. I didn't want to listen to Peter's lecture about Egon and our relationship because I had to call the shots. Yes, I loved Egon more than life itself, but I couldn't turn my life upside down anymore. This was my life, and I had to live it. Lucy left the landing to join Ray in his bedroom.

On the one hand, I wanted to wrap Egon in my arms and love him as he had never been, and on the other hand, I felt adamant in my decision to make him prove his desire for me in his life for good.

"But didn't he just prove it," I felt a tiny voice inside of me ask quietly contemplate?

By my response and the flash of rage in my blue eyes, Peter could tell that it was pointless for him to continue. We sat in silence for another five minutes, and then I rose to go to the bathroom. At first, I felt a little tipsy from the alcohol, and the battered wooden chair that I sat on squealed with a loud frequency as I pushed back from the table.

"I am going to check on him, and don't stop me, please," I announced, then went into the bathroom to retrieve another washcloth, towels, cotton balls, rubbing alcohol, and placed it on the table. Determinedly, I went back into the kitchen to make another ice pack. I felt distraught with worry, and Peter gave me a smile saying when I returned,

"Iggy will be ok, Janine. I gave him a quarter of a regular dose of Thorazine that doctors use to restrain patients."

"How long will he be out for," I inquired, concerned.

"At most, two hours," Dr. Venkman replied, and I put the supplies on the table.

"Thanks for the whiskey and the smoke, Peter. I owe you one," I stated, giving him a wink.

"We are family here, and we take care of each other," he reminded, grinning.

Returning his smile, I nodded solemnly then picked up the supplies again.

Feeling a slight buzz from the whiskey, I conscientiously walked with them in my arms. My thoughts were only on Egon's well-being.

Ray and Lucy were sitting by Egon's bed quietly whispering and examining him, but she rose right away from her chair when I came in. She took the medical supplies from me. Next, Lucy motioned for Ray to leave the room so I could tend to my defender. Before I set my gaze on my hero, I took a deep breath to fortify myself from seeing him wounded. I already knew that this would be worse than when he was bleeding from punching the glass in the fire extinguisher almost a year ago. Slowly, I viewed Egon sleeping on the bed with a black eye beginning to form. As a result, I suspired loudly and let out a sob. I hadn't even looked below his eyes yet.

Lucy attempted to console me by putting her hand on my arm, but I twisted away from it. Both brother and sister spoke to me, but I couldn't hear them as I lowered myself into the chair in front of the wounded man that I truly loved with all of my heart. My heart ached excruciatingly for this man, and I began to weep over him as he slept. Eventually, Ray and Lucy left me alone to tend to Egon.

As I studied his bloodied nose, the scratch on his chin, the dry crusted gore on his lip, and the bruise that was forming underneath his left eye, I began to sob uncontrollably,

"Oh Egon, what did that creep do to you?"

The tranquilizer knocked him out, and I hovered over him, cleaning his wounds gingerly as my heart pounded in my chest thunderously. I persisted in taking care of my beloved as I quietly wiped the blood off his nose and lip as I examined his handsome features up close and personally.

"Egon's so handsome in that old forties' movie star way," I mumbled, "now he has this black eye, my poor darling."

Putting down the washcloth, I picked up the ice pack on his skin ever so softly. Egon flinched and shook away while sleeping, so I stood from my chair to find a towel in the bathroom. With the towel now around the ice compress, I hoped it would not wake Egon from his slumber, so I tried again, placing the cold on his skin. He didn't move a muscle.

However, my cut stung a bit as I recalled the slap that he gave me and how Victor cut my cheek with his ring. Silently, I carefully put the ice pack on his left eye gently, and then I prayed for his recovery until he woke up.

"Doris will never believe me when I tell her that Victor hit me," I thought to myself, " and she's friends with his sister!"

Viewing him asleep, I noted how his usually perfectly coiffed hair was messy in the front with parts of it sticking up, and I used my free hand to smooth it down a bit. As my fingertips felt his dark abundant, wavy hair, I felt tempted to run my hands through it. That was one thing that I liked doing when we were dating, and Egon never did seem to mind. He had a nice head of hair, and I enjoyed touching it as it was surprisingly velvety. Swiftly, I did with a grin spreading across my lips.

"Oh, my poor Egon," I whispered, removing my hand from his hair and slipped it in his right hand as he slept. Our hands fit together like a glove, and I felt my knees buckle a little.

As I continued my loving analysis of my sleeping Prince Charming's face, I smiled at his full cheeks that one of his Grandmothers used to pinch when he was a little boy in Cleveland. He hated when she did that action with a passion. Once Egon almost went nuts when I did that before he informed me. My eyes moved down to his nose, which he felt was too big but never explained why.

"I think it makes you look distinguished," I informed him, kissing the tip of his nose and then pressing my lips against his own for a deep kiss.

"As you long as you think so," he grumbled after the kiss.

"I guess I have to convince you some more," I replied suggestively, climbing on top of his body then putting my arms around his neck.

"Yes, I think so," Egon responded mischievously with a glint in his eyes. I felt his arms pull me tightly to him as I brought my lips to his and kissed him with everything I had. Giggling softly, I recalled us rolling around on his bed playfully, tickling each other and ...

"Ok, Janine, pull yourself together," I reprimanded myself as I allowed myself to touch his jawline with my index finger on my free hand. I recalled that Peter said he would be out for a couple of hours, and I suddenly felt intensely sleepy. As a result, I yawned and moved off the chair, and sat on the edge of his bed. Quietly, I placed my head on his chest and rested my eyes. My eyelids felt like they weighed a ton, and I could barely keep them open.

"I don't think Egon will mind," I thought before I kissed his cheek gently and settled my head on his chest. My eyes shut instantaneously, and I drifted off to sleep.

"Ok, our time is up," my therapist announced as I sobbed heavily.

"Why do I feel worse," I asked, my lower lip quivering nearly to nobody in particular.

"You are releasing all of your emotions, Janine," Dr. Smith-Telles replied, putting her hand on my arm, " it's going to be harrowing. I am sorry, but in the end, it will help you in clarifying your future actions regarding Egon."

"OK," I responded sadly.

I left Dr. Smith- Telles' office to meet Wendy at our health club in Brooklyn via subway, feeling problematic about the situation. Releasing some steam by playing racquetball would be beneficial, so I made sure that I kept my date with my roommate to do so. Wendy would be excited to tell me about the wedding dresses she saw with her Mother today and how hideously ugly some were. She had asked me to be a bridesmaid, which I accepted, happily. I know it was selfish, but as I listened to her tell me about her day, I wondered when it would be my turn to marry the man of my dreams.

The week seemed to drag on slowly as I became urgently desperate for a time away from all of my problems- Egon and the paper for my class. My summer class met once a week, Monday nights, so that the professor could tear apart our outlines and ideas for our project. Dr. Williams destroyed three of my outlines for research proposals this summer but recently approved the latest one last week.

July 9, 1984, A week earlier

Egon Spengler

When I attended my next therapy appointment, Dr. Tate questioned me to resume the place I left off a week ago. Slowly, I recalled the incident.

When I woke from the tranquilizer, I found Janine sleeping next to me, to my great surprise and happiness. Her gentle, rhythmic breathing going in and out gave me a soothing feel. My head thumped with pain, my nose felt broken, and my mouth crusty with blood. Having Janine's head on my chest and glancing down at her sleeping face made me exhilarated and made the pain go away even though it wasn't rational. Then I saw the gash under her eye and felt my body tense up defensively.

"Calm down, Egon," I told myself, slowly bringing my right hand to Janine's uncovered back, where I rubbed it in small circles, enjoying the softness of her skin. My hand felt wounded from punching Victor or attempting to earlier because I hadn't been in many fights in my life.

I didn't bother attempting to contemplate the reality of the situation, so I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes for a little longer.

"I love you, Janine Louise Melnitz," I mumbled into her ear before I fell back asleep.

When I awoke later, Janine hovered over me, misty-eyed from crying with an ice pack in her hand over my bruised right eye. Her beautiful aura spawned a tranquilizing awareness in me. Instantly, I grabbed her free hand, forcing her to gasp gleefully.

"Egon," Janine exclaimed, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree as new tears of joy flowed down. Rapidly, she put the ice compress down and bent down to hug me. Blissfully, I shut my eyes as she did so, feeling elated. I moved my arms around her body and held them there for a short while.

" Thank you, God! I have been so worried about you. Oh, Egon, are you OK," Janine cried from my chest.

I nodded slowly, but my eye socket was sore, and both my nose and lip felt puffy, so I told her so. She lifted her head from my chest, sat up, and viewed me with compassion ending our embrace, which left me disappointed. Janine tenderly touched the areas of my face that weren't injured.

"I am so sorry," she cried, sobbing again.

"Shh, Janine, please do not cry. I can't believe that jerk hit you," I soothed Janine, and I clasped her hand tightly. Gazing into her eyes, I searched them to scrutinize her emotional state of mind- my love was immensely keyed up with everything that had occurred in the past couple of hours. Janine still appeared as the loveliest woman in the world to me despite her injury. She lowered her eyes to where our hands were touching, and I felt her silky skin with my index fingers.

"What happened afterward?"

"Nothing. We ended up going back to sleep for a little while," I answered my therapist.

Ray

On the following Thursday evening, we were eating some Chinese take-out upstairs when Janine rang the bell, indicating that we had a client.

"Shit, I thought we were done for the day," Peter groaned. He had just settled on the couch and commenced snoozing. He stood up, stretched, and went to put his jumpsuit on. I slid down the pole and greeted Janine as I was the only one ready to go. Egon followed by and by, and eventually Peter.

"Ray, you have a class five free-roaming vapor poltergeist at The Rose, a dance club, north of here," Janine said, raised her eyebrows in surprise, " here's the address and directions."

"The Rose? The dance club? I have been there- it's a young crowd, but maybe I can pick up some chicks," Peter responded, as the other two packed Ecto One with equipment.

"Keep it in your pants, Dr. V. You have a job to complete first," Janine snapped sarcastically, causing Egon and me to burst into laughter spontaneously. Even Peter smirked at her.

"That's a good one, Brooklyn, BRAVO," he laughed, overdramatizing his praise.

"Are you THAT heartbroken over that chick that dumped you," I questioned Venkman in awe?

"Have I seen the day where Peter had his heartbroken," I questioned myself?

"No, that chick is history," Venkman muttered, but I noticed Egon had a sly smile on his face. He also turned tomato red as Spengler gave him a knowing look.

"Did the ultimate player in the City, Peter Venkman, finally get his feelings hurt by a female who beat him at his own game," Janine posed a good question.

"Good one, J," I encouraged, smiling, and she winked at me in return.

"Are you jealous, Janine Melnitz, that it is me who is getting some and you aren't?"

"I am not even dignifying that with a response," our secretary quipped.

Egon confronted Peter by standing almost in his face, almost nose to nose, with an exceedingly menacing grimace.

"What?! Janine can dish it, but not take it," Peter exclaimed, stepping backward from Iggy, " Spengler, that's not fair."

"Leave her alone," Egon snarled, thus alleviating the tension from the room.

The Rose, a popular hang out for the eighteen to twenty-five, crowd with plenty of Mommy's and Daddy's money, as twelve blocks north of the firehouse. We finished gathering our equipment and sat in Ecto One. Janine waved goodbye, and I put the car in reverse to back out of the Firehouse.

"What's the deal with you and Janine now," I asked Iggy, who was playing with his favorite toy, the PKE meter.

"Huh?"

Egon didn't respond for a long time after I repeated the question.

" I have to persuade her that I won't hurt her again and to give me a chance," Spengler answered, a matter of factly like he was answering a complicated Physics question.

"I hoped that by defending her from Victor, that would assist in your chances," Peter commented.

"Me too, but I have put her through too much. Janine's not willing to or possibly not able to give me another chance right now because she's afraid I will hurt her," he added, stubbornly, "I won't give up until she tells me to."

"Well, I admire your dedication," I admitted, stopping at a red light, but Spengler didn't say anything. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited for the light to change.

The Rose was a two-story red brick building that used to be a ballet school in the 1950s. According to legend, the best student, a thirteen-year-old girl named Rose, was shot there by another student out of jealousy. The building owner quickly shut down his ballet school and boarded the building, leaving the City never seen again. Since then, various owners converted it into a health club, a dance studio, and even a roller skating rink. Rose always scared patrons off by throwing their shoes, clothes, and other items at them, however. The new owner, a tall man with a large protruding stomach dressed in black suspenders, black slacks, and a checkered blue and white shirt, met us outside of the club in the warm night air to inform us of some information when we arrived.

"When I bought the building five years ago, I thought if I named it 'The Rose', it would somehow appease her to stop haunting it, but I was very wrong. Rose will sometimes appear on the dance floor showing off her moves, dumping drinks over people's heads as they are dancing, and throwing plastic cups at patrons. She's driving off my clientele, and I am losing money now," the man replied angrily.

"Ok, let's go check it out," Peter stated, taking charge as we stood around Ecto One with our proton packs on our backs.

After we scoped out the place and reminded Peter three or four times that we weren't there to gawk at the alluring females right now, we devised a plan. It was to get Rose on the dance floor to show us her dance moves and then open a trap to capture her. Egon made sure all twenty-five patrons were safely outside and then took PKE readings. He indicated that she was definitely in the area and that our plan was a good solid one. On the strobe-lit dance floor with New Wave pumping in an almost deafening manner from the speakers, Peter called to Rose, "Rose, may I see your dance moves?"

"Where are you," he hollered, walking around in a circle as the lights flashed off and on, making his facial features visible.

"I have heard that you are the best dancer here," I added, carefully walking onto the dance floor, " please?"

"Ok, let's try dancing," Peter suggested, starting to move back and forth on his feet " Hey DJ, give us something to dance to."

The African American man in the booth spun some Prince for us to revolve to convince her to emerge eventually, and we also peppered her with compliments about her dancing. It did take a while, so Egon even joined us awkwardly on the dance floor to entice the ghost.

As a typical pre-teen, Rose couldn't ignore the attention she was getting. We continued to dance until she appeared- the girl was no taller than 5 feet with her dirty blonde hair in a french braid dressed in a pink tutu, white leggings, and pink ballet shoes. Swiftly, Egon stepped off the dance floor to retrieve the ghost trap. On my signal, the theoretical physicist carefully threw it on the floor and opened it in the middle of the dance floor where Rose danced. Happily, she sang as she pirouetted over the trap, and it ingested her, working like clockwork. Next, Peter checked to make sure she was in there by tapping on the smoking trap and then announced, "all done, Tex."

"All right, guys," I cheered, looking at the other members of our team with a big wide grin on my face.

We all were pleased with our catch.

Meanwhile, the owner and the twenty-five young patrons rushed onto the dance floor with forceful energy and cheered loudly at our success. Spectacular-looking women of different ethnicities, sizes, and shapes surrounded us to convey their thankfulness. To top it off, they wanted to dance with the heroes of the Rose- us, and I felt dazed by the number of lovely ladies.

"Ok, ok, there's plenty of time for dancing. Let us put up our equipment and take off our uniforms, halfway, then we will love to party with you," Peter promised, giving the adoring female crowd a bright grin. Egon was halfway out of the door already with the trap because it wasn't safe to keep around in the open.

As we took care of our equipment, the manager wrote us a fat check for $5K, and he promised to give us free drinks for the rest of the night if we wanted to celebrate there tonight.

"Come on, Egon, you can still be in love with Janine and dance with one chick," Peter urged the tallest GB as we got our drinks at the bar. He and I drank beer, but Egon, a coke.

"No," Iggy replied, firmly, with a straight face.

Later, three scantily-clad gorgeous ladies with stylish outfits of the day that barely covered their breasts and their womanly parts requested us to dance. I, however, attempted not to stare at the sexy women around me, and Venkman reminded me to close my mouth. Only Egon denied their requests by shaking his head dismissively.

"OK, suit yourself," Peter replied, turning his back on the oldest Ghostbuster who stood against the bar. Our fearless leader paired up with the two blondes, and I took the brunette. I wasn't picky when it came to pretty women- all women fascinated me as a puzzle I never could solve, no matter how hard I attempted. Meanwhile, a curly hair woman sauntered up to me and cooed,

"You are so brave."

She put her hand on my chest suggestively and introduced herself, "my name is Lana, by the way. Let's go dance."

With her free hand, the beautiful brunette pulled me on the dance floor, and I forgot all about Spengler. Lana and I began dancing to "Send Me An Angel,"

"If a girl walks in and carves her name in my heart

I'll turn and run away

Every day we've all been led astray

It's hard to be lucky in love

It gets in your eyes

It's making you cry

Don't know what to do

Don't know what to do."

Egon Spengler

"Send me an angel, send me an angel, right now," I sang along as I left Peter and Ray at the Rose after I finished my coke. The atmosphere was stuffy in the club as many young people arrived in the congested building as it was the popular spot to be on a Thursday night. The air had become a little insufferable there, and I was happy to leave. Besides, Janine was waiting on us to come back before she left for the night, and it was close to ten-thirty already.

"Send me an angel/send me an angel/right now," I sang out loud, enjoying the cool breeze of the evening air. We had shed our jumpsuits earlier with our proton packs, and now the short sleeve black t-shirt felt more appropriate for the weather. It was a twelve-block walk back to the Firehouse, but I didn't mind it. I had the check from The Rose's owner in my pocket, safely.

"God sent me an Angel," I acknowledged as I walked in the cool night air.

As I did, I thought about Janine. There were plenty of women at the dance hall, but none of them attracted me. She was the only one with whom I wanted to dance. As Peter had said almost a year ago, I was crazy about her.

I viewed the dark sky, wondering if Janine would ever give me another chance as I knew I did not deserve it. The only woman I ever truly loved, and the only woman who had loved me, I pushed away more than once.

"Why do I self-sabotage myself? " I asked rhetorically.

When I made it to the front door, I hesitantly opened it. Janine had avoided me since the conflict with Victor a week ago, but I don't think she blamed me for my actions. Our situation was tricky, and I thought about my therapy appointment earlier and the emotional aspect. Recalling Victor injuring Janine made my blood pressure heighten dangerously.

However, she wasn't ready to give me a chance like I hoped she would. Her fear of me wounding her broken heart overruled anything because I had done that too many times. Often, I had found myself staring at her as if I was a lovestruck teenager because, in many ways, I was.

"I will politely tell her to go home and then leave her alone," I told myself, " and I won't stare no matter how lovely she looked."

My Casio watch beeped, announcing that it was eleven, and I entered the firehouse quietly. Janine dimmed the lights except in the reception area. When she came into my view, I found myself gaping at her beauty. Janine wore her hair with more curl, more volume, and bounce lately, and it flattered her. The red in her hair shone with the light on it, and it almost seemed to form a halo over her.

"Ironically, I called her my angel, " I thought as I approached her desk. Janine wore a black sleeveless dress with a belt around her tiny waist and pockets over her breasts. It was collared and went to the floor.

Her bright orange day glow toenails peeked through the long dress and made me smile. A few days ago, I overheard her tell Ray that she had painted her toenails a bright orange to match the neon orange bikini she had bought for an upcoming long weekend that she would go on with her best friend. I began to imagine the smashing way her voluptuous body would appear in a skimpy two-piece bathing suit.

"Better save that thought for later," I muttered to myself, exhaling, "or I am going to say or do something inappropriate."

"Hello, Janine, Ray, and Peter are staying at the Rose for uhm...entertainment. Thanks for staying late," I softly greeted as I watched her read a book for her research paper as I strolled to her desk. I grinned at the small potted plants surrounding her desk that she loves to tend. This summer, Janine had been particularly stressed about it as she was finally one class away from graduation and anxious about her future.

"You are welcome. Did everything go alright," Janine questioned, lifting her face from her book to meet my eyes.

"Yes, thank you. Why don't you go home? It's late," I replied, not staring at her too long, and I went to deposit the check in the safe in the back of Ray's office to lock up.

Before I did, I heard her retrieve her items from her bottom desk drawer. Thoughtfully, I returned to her desk to ask if she wanted an escort to the Subway since it was now dark and after eleven in the night. I needed to know that she was safe.

"Yes, I would actually," Janine seemed relieved when I offered and gave me a bright grin.

"Would you mind waiting for a second so I can lock up the check," I inquired, happy that she agreed to it.

"Sure," she stated and sat down with her belongings again.

As I deposited the check into the safe, I thought it would be a perfect time to give her the red box in my drawer. In it, it contained a 10 k golden angel for her charm bracelet. Initially, I had bought it in April in anticipation of our sixth month anniversary, which would have been two weeks ago. Staring at the box, I wondered if it was the right time to give it to her.

"Screw it," I thought and put it in my pocket.

I specifically bought charm about Camuel, the Archangel of love and passion and peaceful relationships. His name means "One who seeks God'', and he seeks to discover more about God's unconditional love, find inner peace, resolve conflicts with others, forgive people who have hurt or offended them and find and nurture romantic love (from ). Camuel is one of the healing angels that people seek out for assistance.

One Tuesday in the Spring earlier this year, I solved a recent problem late in the lab and watched a documentary on Angels. I had always maintained that Janine was an angel when she entered my life. She brought joy, love, excitement, hope, confidence, kindness, humor, fun, support, and so much more, and I am not the same person as I was before I met her. Janine has enhanced my life without doing anything specifically other than being in there. Even before we started to date, Janine touched my life by challenging my assumptions about women. I cannot say enough about the positive transformations on myself with her in my life.

"Egon?" Janine questioned from her desk.

Anxiously, my hands immediately commenced sweating, but I strolled to her desk, where she sat down.

"Janine, uhm, before we go, I want to...give you something..." I stammered, my face hotly flushing as I fingered the box in my pocket, edgily.

"Wha- what-" she cried, caught unaware.

Without another thought, I reached out to place the charm box on her desk. I did that because I didn't want to chicken out and lose my nerve. As a result, I stepped back from her and lowered my eyes to my shoes because I was afraid of her response. Suddenly, I started shifting my weight back and forth on my feet.

"I can't accept this," Janine quipped, her eyes wide open after she saw the box.

"Yes, you can. I want you to have it," I argued quietly. Janine opened her mouth to protest, but I put my finger on her lips for a moment, maintaining eye contact, " You will keep it."

"Egon. I- I-."

"You aren't going to win this argument, Janine," I stated firmly, digging my heels in, " Please open it."

"Oh, Egon," Janine whispered enthusiastically, " you shouldn't have done this."

Her eyes were watery, both with tremendous merriment and gratefulness. Gradually she opened it and her mouth dropped when she saw it.

"I bought this for you before April for our...uhm...six month anniversary, but I still...want you to...have it," I explained, shifting my feet side to side.

"I can't accept this," she repeated, picking it up gingerly and examining it more closely, "oh, it... is so beautiful, Egon."

Janine's blue eyes welled up with tears, and seeing her happiness with my gift made my heart sing with joy.

"Janine, please accept this because I want you to know that I love you and that you are always going to be an angel to me," I described, my heart full of love.

"You have inspired me to make changes in my life even if we are no longer together, and I want to thank you for that."

Putting the charm down for a second, Janine threw her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine for an embrace. It felt comfortable and warm, so I cherished it like I was maintaining something dear to me because I was- Janine was my sun, my moon, my stars, my angel, my everything.

I didn't know what anyone could cry prettily, but she did. My angel could make herself more endearing to me when I didn't think it was possible.

"Hold on for a second," I whispered to her as she dried her tears and pulled back from me.

For a second, I stood up and brought another chair closer to hers. I sat down then opened my arms shyly and silently, asking Janine if she wanted an embrace. To my astonishment, she didn't hesitate to stand up, sit gently on my lap like a cat jumping on her favorite blanket, and bury her head into my chest. She began to cry.

"You are an enigma, Egon, and I will never understand you. You give me this beautiful charm and defend me from some jerk that I dated, but you break up with me in April. What is with that," she asked, mystified in between sobs.

Shrugging, I gave her a slight toothless grin and pulled her back into my arms softly. I didn't want to force Janine into an embrace, but I felt she needed it with all of my heart. She wrapped her arms around me tightly as she cried, giving me the indication that my gut feeling was correct.

"I wish I understood myself, Janine. I do," I whispered in her right ear, tearing up as I did so and rubbed her back methodically.

We sat holding each other until we both released our frustration in the form of tears. When we stopped, Janine requested in a small voice,

"Will you help me put my new charm on the bracelet?"

Merrily, I nodded, grinning at her, and I took the charm from the box with one hand and used my other to touch the bracelet indicating for her to raise her wrist some.

"It is darling, Egon. Thank you so much; I love it, " she sniffed, her blue eyes glinting with happiness as she watched me clasp the charm to the bracelet.

"I watched a documentary at three in the morning about Angels in April and learned about Chamuel, the angel of love and passion and peaceful relationships. His color is pink, so that is why the angel has a pink outline. He heals the pain in relationships, " I elucidated, tears coming to my eyes as I gently placed it on her shiny bracelet.

"It is elegant like you," I added. All I could do is watch her in fascination as Janine gaily played with the charms to where they made a twinkling sound as they bumped into each other, and it made everything worth it. She even giggled a little.

"Egon," she protested gingerly, giving me a warning.

Grinning, I held up my hand to indicate that I would stop complimenting her even though I could tell that she liked it. My other one sat on her waist loosely.

"This is the last thing- I will figure out a way to win you back, even if it takes forever because you are worth it. You and I are meant to be together, and I wish I had made that realization earlier," I promised, feeling as serious as I ever have been in my life.

Shutting her eyes, Janine lowered her head out of embarrassment, so I took that opportunity to kiss her forehead with my lips. The touch of her velvety skin made me feel exhilarated, and I smiled widely. She leaned into me to hug me, and I took the opportunity to slip my arms around her loosely. I felt the magic as our bodies pressed against each other and shivered sublimely. Janine laid her head back on my chest, and I held her close to me as long as she would let me. She fit perfectly in my arms, and it felt so heavenly that I almost commenced crying out of joy. Finally, Janine ceased embracing me by moving away while asking, "Did I ever thank you for defending me?"

"Yes," I huskily whispered to her, "I lost it when I saw him hit you. I love you very much, Janine."

She gave me a shy smile and removed herself from my lap.

"Now, let me walk you to the subway," I offered,

"Deal," Janine happily replied as she gathered her belongings then strolled to the door.

I chuckled and followed her out of the firehouse, feeling more and more in love than I thought was ever possible. As we walked side by side to the subway station three blocks away, we were silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable for once.

"Good night, Janine. Have a good evening," I said, as we stopped for a second before she descended the

stairs.

"Thanks, Egon, you too."

Grinning at Janine, I gave her a small wave and wistfully wished I could join her in Brooklyn.

"God sent me an Angel, and I have to verify that I deserve her in my life- to her, to Him and myself," I muttered.

Janine

Dear Diary,

What do you do with a man who pushes you away through no fault of his own but due to his insecurities, ignores you in June, and then declares his love for you again right before you go on a date? Oh, wait, there is more- he also defends you and becomes injured because an asshole you are dating slaps you? Then he gives you this unique charm?

What the hell are you doing, Egon Spengler?

My feelings vary from taking him back and forgiving every injustice he had ever done to me to just giving up dating forever. If we are supposed to be together, why is everything so difficult with Egon?

On top of that, this research paper is a pain in my ass. I think my research topic will be approved finally, but who knows? I am so tired of this summer already, and it has just begun! Why is there such upheaval in my life? When I finally get this degree in December and leave the Ghostbusters, will that put it to an end? I am sick to death of the stress of the "Egon" situation at work on top of this ridiculously demanding professor. I have been praying for God to give me an answer, but He is silent. Meanwhile, I am losing sleep and feel myself losing hope. Hope for happiness with Egon? Maybe. Hope for finally finishing this degree? Possibly.