His nightmares become more and more fantic with each passing night. He falls to an uneasy sleep only to jolt up a few hours later, sweaty and panting and panicked. Sometimes the dreams feel so vivid he's almost sure they're memories. Until he wakes up to realize those things couldn't be real. None of the things he dreams happened to him.
But somehow just after waking up, they feel as real as the life he lives now.
He dreams of Hogwarts. Of secret meetings in Slytherin common room. People around the fire in the dead of the night, talking in hushed voices. Troll looking Cassius Warrington pointing at him and telling he's the key player. Flint's hand on his shoulder, giving a supportive squeeze. Pansy's eyes in tears. And Daphne taking Blaises hand. Theo reading a charms book aloud.
Some of the words are blurry. He can't hear all that's been said, but even when he wakes up he can tell they were plotting on something.
In some of his dreams it's the seventh year and Severus is questioning him with a strict voice. All night he struggles to keep his occlumency wards up and wakes up to a horrible headache.
The worst are the ones about the final battle. Never in his dreams has he been so worried as in these. Never before does has he felt so physically ill for dread.
"We can only trust each other" Daphne tells him, squeezing his hand and then running into the battle.
"Stay alive mate." Blaise patting his back before following her.
"See you on the other side." Theo, right on Blaises heels.
Pansy's hands around his neck, "Merlin, I hope we all survive this!"
He watches them go, his heart heavy. Turns
And wakes up, thinking of Granger.
The dreams haunt him in daylight too. Because they almost feel like an alternative reality. Something that could have happened, but never did.
They never rebelled.
Never made their own rules.
Never fought in the final battle in the first place! He hid like a coward and the rest of them were sent away before the battle began.
Blaise enjoys the spoils of war more than anyone he knows. And Theo works in the controls.
Pansy… and Daphne…
He pauses mid movement.
When was the last time he had seen Pansy?
Or even thought about Daphne?
Daphne was Astorias sister, surely he had heard about her sometime…
But nothing comes to mind. Like there's a blank space where the memories of the girls should be.
Tracey Daves and Millicent, names pop in his head out of nowhere. And why was Warrington in his dream?
There were other faces too, people he only now realizes he hasn't seen in years. Hasn't thought about in years!
The more he thinks about other Slytherins, the more alarming the dreams get. The battle in his dream, is so much worse he ever needed to go through. And he does so much out of character shit, he'd laugh if it didn't feel so fucking real!
"Potter! He's the first!" He yells to Theo at the same time as the wall explodes ahead of them.
"Granger will never give in! I can never convince her!" Daphne, with face covered in dust and blood is screaming through the noise!
"I'll take care of her! Just get Potter out!" He stuns someone with a mask and leans to take it.
"Mate, are you sure you can handle that?" It's Blaise on his right as he puts the mask on.
"No, but I already have the mark, at least they won't kill me on the spot if they catch me."
"But the order would."
"The order has already lost. They're busy defending."
"Fuck Draco. This is… you know what they do to us if they catch us?"
He nods at Blaise
and blinks as he wakes up.
.
.
.
He's not sure why but he can't bring himself to ask Astoria about Daphne. Instead he goes for drinks with Blaise.
The real world feels dull after the park. Like all the colors are subdued here. He thinks it's part of the plan, to make it so appealing everyone wants to return.
The pub is quiet on a tuesday night, but he still feels weird. Like someone is still watching him. He still looks across his shoulder, like waiting for someone to catch him. He does that at home too — With Astoria. Considers his words much more than he ever did before. Like someone might listen and find double meanings in his words.
Somehow it feels like discussing Daphne and Pansy isn't a safe topic. But he has to know! And who would watch him here? Why would someone watch him here? He hasn't done anything suspicious… yet.
"I heard Theo works in the controls of the park." He begins as if laid back.
"I know, right! Tosser got the best job." Blaise takes a swing from his drink.
"It got me thinking have you heard of the girls, Daph and Pansy, what are they up to?"
"Who?"
He eyes at the man to see if he's joking. But Blaise just looks at him brows up.
"Astorias sister, Daphne? And Pansy? Our classmates in case you've forgotten."
Blaise shrugs, "Oh, those! No, why would I have heard about them?"
Because we were friends? He wants to say. But Blaises words get him questioning. Have his dreams messed his mind? Were they not friends?
He tries to think back... Crabbe and Goyle used to follow him around. But didn't he interact with the others too? Were they not his friends?
Pansy used to fancy him, right?
Blaise snaps fingers under his nose, "Oi Draco? Why would I care about those bints? They married some wizards the year we graduated didn't they?"
Did they?
He had not remembered that.
The way Daphne entwined her fingers with Blaises in his dream. Didn't match with Blaises reaction to her. Although it had been his dream. The real past might not have anything to do with it. But why would he dream such a thing?
"Didn't you fancy her at some point?"
Blaise lets out a bellowing laugh, "Me? And Greengrass? In your fucking dreams, man."
The conversation turns into lighter topics. But never leaves his mind. What on earth did the park do to him? Was he losing his mind? His sense of reality? Was he not aware what was real and what made up anymore? Did he not recognize the reality they were living in?
When he goes to sleep that night he dreams of the five of them, Him, Theo, Blaise, Pansy and Daph, in the boys dormitory. Him, Theo and Blaise sitting on their beds.. Daphne on the floor between Blaises legs, with parchment and pencil in her hand. Writing something down. And Pansy on her back, legs up on the side of Theos bedside.
By the looks of them it must be their seventh year. Wasn't that year good for Slytherin? Why do they look so gloom?
Theo's the one speaking.
"I heard only portions. It's something they insert to your brain to gain control. I think it's somewhat like obliviate and imperiuse. I'm not sure how it works but fathers notes said it can erase memories. All or some. And implant new ones. Like redoing everything you've ever been through."
"It's impossible." He states on his bed, "No spell is that powerful. You can't just remove the whole personality."
"I don't know how it works, alright! All I know is what I heard and what his notes said! They've made plans. New stories for people! They're planning to use that to remove all the resistance. To modify the unwilling to think they're willing."
"That's sick!" Pansy lifts herself to sit.
"This is insanity!" Blaise states and Daphne nods next to him, "We can't keep going along! Not if it comes to that."
Theo's shaking his head, "We have to leave! There's a battle coming and there's no way we can keep on this...fucking game in real battle."
"I can't leave!" he shakes his head, and even in the dream he can feel the weight of his choices pushing him down.
"If we leave we'll leave it up to Voldemort to win! No one on the orders side knows what's waiting for them if they lose! Their fight will be taken from them before they even know it!" Daph looks intensively at Blaise as she talks.
"We need to stay." He announces, "We need to make sure someone gets out if they lose! The Gryffindors are foolish and too fucking noble! I bet they think that they can fight to death. Potter will never give up on his own."
"And if we get caught?" Pansy's expression is dark as she confronts him.
He shrugs, "You think we'll remember any of it if we do?"
.
.
.
Getting to the control room isn't as simple as he first thought. Flint had said there'd be paperwork but he never anticipated it would take this long! After two weeks he's about to have a nervous breakdown.
Not only because of sleep deprivation and stress but also because of not having any way to know Granger is safe!
What if they can't keep her from Rabastian? Every time he thinks of her in that man's arms blind rage clouds his vision. Makes his blood boil in a way it's almost impossible to keep himself from accidentally blowing things up.
Also the fucking dreams are making him mad! They get more and more intense. Showing him war and dread and double standards. Theo arranging secret meetings with loony Lovegood. Daphne sleeping in Blaises bed… Himself hissing valuable information into Longbottoms ear. And Granger, walking away from him in the last fatal minute.
Him desperately running on the battlefield, trying to make sure everyone gets the fuck out!
Then he finally cracks.
"I can't marry you." He blurts out at the dinner table.
Astoria's fork stops halfway and drops back to the plate. He doesn't know what he waited for. Maybe an outburst? But her calm demeanor stays put.
"Because of her?" She asks, brows up.
He doesn't answer, she huffs as if amused, "Draco Dear, surely you understand that park…"
"Is not real! I know!"
"So you know that whatever you think she is…"
"It's not that."
Isn't it though? He's not sure what it is.
"I don't love you." He tells her bluntly.
And she starts to laugh, "You think I want to marry you because I love you?"
She laughs harder, "Let's be real here Draco. This marriage is nothing more than a pretty cover, right?"
She doesn't wait for him to answer, "You provide me and I give you an heir. In daylight I'm your wife. But by night? You go to your whore in the park or find yourself someone real to keep you warm." she somehow sounds like she's pitying him, "and I spend my nights in the bed with someone who does love me."
He never considered this. He always thought she was waiting for him here. He always thought she wished he'd learn to love her.
He wants to ask her who the man is. But fears it's not his place to. Not after what he just said.
He's an idiot.
"These came just before dinner." she slides a thick layer of papers to him, "Your access to the control room has been confirmed. I guess I won't be seeing you in a while."
It's not a question.
It's a wish, he realizes. Takes the papers silently and leaves the room.
"Do not agree to marry her Draco! You'll never get rid of it"
He pauses mid-step.
It's like an echo of a memory. Daphne's voice telling him he shouldn't agree to the marriage contract. But he does not remember ever talking about marriage with Daphne. Did he even know her well enough to discuss marrying her sister?
It's the dreams again! Messing his head!
.
.
.
Theo greets him by the door of the control center. Theo's father Caius used to be one of Voldemort's closest Death Eaters, but he had died shortly after the final battle. Theo had inherited the wealth and the title and his father's position as the head of the park. They had transformed the Nott manor to serve as the control center after the business had gotten big.
After getting the job Theo never seemed to leave the house. No one on the outside knew what they did here. And he suspected most didn't care either. As long as they could live a carefree life everyone seemed satisfied.
Theo shows him around patiently. There are multiple rooms he calls "the design rooms" where they remake the puppets as he says. A hospital ward to patch the injured up. A team of fabric designers, make-up artists, doctors. People sitting on high tables as someone paints new makeup on their faces, or dresses them in fine clothing.
Not people,
puppets…
It's somehow impressive and highly disturbing at the same time. He wants to ask Theo how he justifies this. But it's too suspicious so he plays excited instead.
"And here is the place where it's all put in action." Theo opens the big double doors into the main dance hall and he gasps a little.
The walls are full of screens. Pictures flick in them and change to another. There are four people, walking around, looking at the scenes and making notes.
"Here we monitor the loops of the Casino storyline. The storylines are changed as new customers enter and then altered by preferences. We want to alter and improve constantly." Theo explains as he walks up to one of the screens.
It's daytime and the screen shows a man laying by the pool in a luxury hotel as a bartender with high heels and bikini serves him a drink. On another, an older woman loops her hand with a younger-looking man who smiles at her politely.
"Most of the people do boring stuff by daylight... The nights are much more interesting. That's when predators and prey come out to play." Theo hums as he walks on.
His mind goes to Lovegood in a man's arm and to Rabastian and Granger.
Theo goes to the far end of the room and waves his wand. Before them appears a control board and faces start to swim in the air ahead of them. "Here are all the puppets and their traits." Theo browses one face among the others, "Here we can look at their traits, their persona and their loop. We can give them new tasks and define the people they should meet. Every time a new client goes in, we take a look at their preferences and address puppets for them."
"Are their personalities entirely remade?" He asks, seeing Dean Thomases face flash by, "I mean is nothing left of their older selves?"
"Nah, even we aren't that clever." Theo shrugs, "They experimented this in the Department of Mysteries before the war. Run tests on Dementor victims and created new personalities for them. But it seems a soul can't be remade. A core of a human has to stay the same for a person to be able to live. We can take away memories and construct entirely new ones. We can modify how they act and what decisions they make. We can remake a life for them, but we can't change a human's personality. Sometimes we need to reposition someone because their persona just doesn't fit into their storyline. Everyone is not made to be a gentleman, no matter how their memories are altered."
The image of Granger in the bathtub flashes in his mind. Granger telling him she could give him what he craves. Doesn't add up with what he knew of her before…
"How do you keep in track of them? Stop them from hurting the guests?" This is the most important information if he even hopes to somehow free Granger.
Although at the moment it feels next to hopeless, even more so as when the concept occurred to him.
"Here, " Theo shows him a switch, "some need to be looked more closely than others because the loops need them. Some we barely track, because they're not that important. Magic protects the guests and trace, however low, keeps the puppets from hurting them."
"Can they snap out of it? Puppets, can they suddenly realize what's happening?"
He knows they can, but does Theo?
He doesn't,
because he looks amused and shakes his head, "No, it's foolproof. Sometimes someone might stray a little from their loop, but rebooting always solves it."
"Rebooting?"
"Killing them off, getting them here, patching them up and starting the loop again."
"Killing helps?" He tries to hide the disgust.
Theo shrugs again, "I like the word Rebooting better. It's not like they really die."
No? He wants to ask if Theo has ever been there to watch it happen. If he's ever felt life leaking out under his hands. If he has heard the last whisper fall from blue lips.
He focuses back on the faces.
"I heard you pay for Granger now." Theo flicks her face to focus, "Lestrange was not too pleased."
"No?"
Theo shrugs, "Yelled at Flint for hours for letting her go. Not that I'm complaining. That sick fuck. Made it hard to keep her in order at all."
He pushes his fingers to fists, "What did he really do?"
"We could have assigned her for Lestrange. Make her think she wants his company. But Rabastian wanted her aware, fighting…" Flint already told this but Theo goes on, "She's - fuck Draco - she's wildfire! It began to be hard to watch. More than once we tried to get Lestrange to just give up. The puppets can't usually hurt the guests, but she… she somehow got around that almost every time. She fought him every step of the way. Once we had to stitch his tongue back together, because she nearly bit it off. She kicked and screamed and bit and hit and tried to run from him."
His feet and hands feel numb. His vision seems to be blurring around the edges and he feels like he has forgotten to draw breath. He's never wanted to kill someone as hard as he wants to now. Wants to rush out and seek Lestrange. To tie him down and torture him like he has tortured her. To make him fear like she must have feared. And they've let him back to her. Again and again after they've seen what he does to her.
He looks at Theo and feels like he doesn't know him. That's not something his friend Theo would be okay with.
With great struggle he finds his voice, "Is that common?"
Theo shakes his head, "That's the thing! No one else does that. Most violent fantasies can be arranged with the hookers in safer circumstances. But Lestrange was the only one who wanted specifically her and moreover her aware what's happening. She wasn't intended to be a whore so she didn't have to sleep with anyone she didn't feel like sleeping with. Damn, at Hogwarts she always seemed kind of socially awkward and prude. But when we took her memories, she turned out to be quite entertaining. Not to mention her looks! I know you resent her and want revenge. But at least you're not stupid like Lestrange trying to ruin her looks!"
He remains silent. Let Theo wonder what he has in store for her. Instead he turns back to look at her face floating in the air before them.
"Let's see," Theo flicks her controls for them to see.
Holly, it says.
An Escort.
Grand Casino.
Assigned permanently to Draco Malfoy.
He stares at his name, trying to define the feeling it stirs in him. Hermione Granger, belongs to him. Permanently…
Once, he would have been ready for revenge. He would have relished the idea of having her submissive. The opportunity to finally show her how inferior she is. But those were the thoughts of a petty teenager. A boy who thought he knew the world, when he actually had no idea. Someone who thought blood somehow defined them. Who was sure blood gave him rights over her.
"I don't want her rebooted." He tells Theo, almost like an afterthought, "As long as I pay for her. I want her to remember me. I want her to be aware she belongs to me. I want her to be kept alive."
Theo nods and does adjustments to the control board.
Would Theo take her trace off if he asked? Would he do it as much without a comment as he did this? He feels like there had been a time he would have trusted Theo enough to ask for it. A time he and Theo were much closer. Like in his dreams where they plot something dangerous together. But he doesn't remember when it was and especially when it ended. Why doesn't he trust Theo anymore?
"Nott, over here!" One of the people inspecting the screens calls. Without so much of a word the man turns and strides to the other end of the room.
He doesn't trust Theo, but Theo seems to trust him. Again, what reason does he have to not to?
But now, Theo's turned his back to him. No one is looking and her controls are there, in front of him. Unsupervised.
Trace.
Her's is quite strong. Probably because she is important to the storyline. Important to keep watch. What happens if she's not traced? Will she disappear from the screens? How fast do they realize she's not traced? How long before Theo starts to suspect him?
He had explanations though. He could always say he didn't know what he was doing. No one was suspecting rebelling and no one knew the puppets could start to remember.
What the hell, this was his chance. Might take days, probably weeks, before he got another chance like this.
Glancing across his shoulder, he reaches for the controls. Clicks the trace switch once and watches the green turn into red.
When Theo comes back he's already watching other faces swim past him.
"Problems?"
Theo shakes his head, "Nah, Just some disagreement between guests. Easy to solve."
They walk out of the room. Leave behind the controls and his betrayal.
What's his aim? What he wishes to do? How he thinks this will change things?
He has no idea.
Nothing certain. There's no trace on her anymore. But what can he do? What can they do? Theo says puppets don't suddenly remember their past life, but Granger did anyway. Are there others like her? Others as confused and lost as she was? Does he care about others? Why would he?
Deep down he knows she would. She would care about others. She wouldn't be okay with saving herself and leaving others for it.
She was his curse
Or his redemption…
And the downfall of the world they lived in now.
A world that didn't feel right anymore.