I found that fear wasn't just a hunting tactic it was something very personal. It was something so personal that most humans wished to hide it.
Fear not only had ways of making a human weak, but it had ways of making a human appear weak before others of their own kind.
Tears, whining, moaning, groaning, wailing or whimpering were often seen as a weakness amongst humans.
Sweating, jumpiness, increased heart rate and overall lack of balance and coordination also were signs of fear and anxiety.
However triggering anxiety was not sufficient, anxiety was in fact only a small part of hunting for humans.
I learned that fear had a scent. There was a certain hormone that was secreted from a human's skin cells whenever they were extremely stressed, anxious or threatened.
Fear had a very distinctive scent, that was very different than the scent of anxiety.
Anxiety came before fear, when fear was released from the body, it was very easy to trace and track.
It made a path that you couldn't just smell but you could feel it. Sometimes I could even see it;I could see a slight residue that it left behind, in the air and on the ground.
Sometimes it could be found everywhere. Sometimes, i could feel the fear envelope me in its sweet scent and unmistakable aura.
It still made me nervous to use fear as a form of control over humans.
I didn't want to be a monster.
Pennywise was a creature that drove people to violence, He drove them to the destruction. He drove these humans to either destroy themselves or destroy others.
I learned later that sometimes if the fear didn't drive them crazy, one glimpse of the dead lights would without a doubt drive them into absolute madness.
Instant insanity was guaranteed for any human who caught even a single glimpse of those beautiful lights.
I wasn't human so those lights did not have the same effect. The effect was still intoxicating nonetheless but I wasn't suffering from any kind of madness or insanity.
I already knew how to cast spells on people. Having humans do what I want came naturally, however it didn't mean I liked it. Enchanting people always made my insides feel all raw and twisted.
It felt strange projecting my thoughts into their mind's.
I felt I was invading some Forbidden territory.
He was teaching me how to search through people's minds, I felt like I was crossing a line that was not meant to be crossed.
I told him how I felt about it but he only laughed and claimed I'd get used to it soon enough.
I felt as if I was breaking and entering somebody's home and then rummaging through all their personal belongings room by room.
Breaking and entering was always a crime then why wasn't this a crime as well?
"There is no law against what we're doing. Last I checked there is no judge on this earth to accuse me of any crimes. Nobody judges me. If I was human I would have to abide by their laws but since I Pennywise the Dancing clown am not human I don't have to. There are no laws, no boundaries for me, only freedom.
Try not to think too hard about.
Follow your instincts. Follow your desire. Give into your every inclination.
Do whatever suits your fancy.
It doesn't matter what it is."
"Sounds like you're trying to seduce me. What if I desire to help them? What if my heart's desire is to save them?"
He came nose to nose with me, I could smell his warm breath on my skin.
Blood was on his breath.
"Save them? Save them from what?"
He nearly spat at me.
"You'll have to excuse me. Perhaps I used the wrong word. What- what- what I meant to say was maybe I want to spare them not save them."
"In that case you can spare them all you like. I can't stop you. I'm going to warn you if you ever even so much as attempt to save any of those humans we are might have a problem."
He said in a high sing song voice.
He was gently playing with a crystal chandelier overhead.
New strength surged through me along with fresh rage.
I outstretched my wings and with incredible speed I charged toward him and simultaneously grappled onto his collar.
The force knocked him off balance and his legs slid onto the floor.
I used the momentum to swing him around, completely upright and slam him against the wall.
"You are going to have a problem with me. I emphasize that you are the one that's going to have the problem.
If you try to mess with me, with my emotions, with my dreams, with my reality I will defile every one of your hunting grounds. In fact if you you try to hinder me in anyway I will make sure hunting isn't even an option for you ever again. Do I Make myself clear?"
His eyes were illuminated with shock and genuine acknowledgement of my seriousness.
He knew I wasn't joking.
I wasn't bluffing, I was not merely making empty threats.
"Crystal".
He hoarsely responded in a small choked up voice.
I let go of his collar and walked off.
I could hear his back slowly slide down against the wall.
He apparently made no effort to keep himself upright.
"So in other words that means I can stay?"
He said in a childlike voice
"If you can behave yourself yes you can. Do you want to stay?"
"I'd perfer it over camping out in the sewers."
"Fine you can stay but if you try anything funny you're going back to the sewers. Got it?"
"Understood. Nothing funny. I'll be completely serious."
"Well you don't have to go that far, given the present form you're in at the moment"
I remarked with a cruel smile.
I made my way towards the door which made his eyes widen with obsessive interest.
"Where are you going?"
Somehow with unatural speed he planted himself between me and the door.
"Out, that's where. I'm going out for fresh air. You have a problem with that?"
"No problem...just curious. Are you going to be gone long?"
I wanted to laugh but then my disgust kept back the laughter that was stuck in my throat.
"I'm going to be gone as long as I want to. If it is my wish I will be gone for quite awhile then again I might decide against it and return home very soon. What does it matter to you?"
I surprised myself how cold my tone was and of how cruel my manner had become.
"Are you going hunting?"
"No I am not. Please don't try to follow me". I attempted to warn him but it only sounded like a weak reprimand.
"Oh I won't have to try Tara. I'll just do it." He twisted his neck to the side in a sickeningly
unnatural angle.
"You won't do anything but stay here and wait for me."
"Do you think me a pet? Do you think me to be some sick subservient dog? I am a flesh eating, soul sucking monster. I cannot be ordered, I cannot be tamed. I cannot be controlled. I am my own master. So don't even think for a moment that I will take orders from you. I will not stay here. I will not wait here like pretty little puppy dog. I will go wherever I please and if it pleases me to follow you, I will do so and there's nothing you can do to stop me".
I realized I couldn't argue with him.
"Very well. I suppose you're right, I can't stop you but I warn you no funny business. No severed limbs, broken bones are acceptable but please don't do anything too messy. Just lay low. I'm not hunting I'm just going for an audition."
"A audition? A audition for what?"
His eyes lit up like two yellow neon signs.
"A audition to be a dancer."
"Dancing is my specialty. Do you want me to show you how?"
"No there's no need for that. This is something I want to do myself."
"Dance with me. Dance with the clown Tara".
"No I don't want to, not right now. I'm not in the mood and besides I haven't the time. I need to be there very soon".
He swiftly grasped onto my hand and then grasped my waist with his other hand.
I had no choice but to be swept away into the dance.
I wanted to fight him but I was too absorbed with the exhilaration of being lead into this strange dance.
He spun me around so many times I became quite giddy. I was getting rather dizzy and could feel myself falling slowly onto the shag covered carpet but he caught me and brought me back up again.
I fell several times it seemed but everytime he would catch me and twirl me around yet again.
There was strange organ music playing in the background.
It was dark and aggressive sounding but I liked it.
Even though I was awfully dizzy I didn't want this dance to end. It was hypnotic and soothing to me. The constant twirling and swirling of the room, the colors of the room became a one long ribbon that curled about me.
The movement calmed my soul. I suddenly felt at peace for the first time.
"Have you had enough?"
I realized that I had one hand on his shoulder and the other firmly placed around his waist.
I didn't recall ever doing doing such a thing but there I was holding onto him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
I felt I was under a enchantment.
"Yes I suppose...we...should stop for now".
"Shall we go now?"
"Yes we should go now". I robotically responded and then in a daze I made my way to the door.