When The World Seems Grey

The longer he spends away from Austin – away from Lisbon and William – the keener he is to get home, but also his anxiety levels increase. Probably because the further he is from them, the chances of him patching things up with her is unlikely. Jane doesn't think he has managed a decent night's sleep since their split and that isn't just because he is sleeping alone again, it is more that his mind is thinking up of all the bad things that could happen. It frustrates him massively, but he can't turn it off.

It is three days after they left the city that the crimefighting trio of the mentalist, Cho and Fischer are making the return journey from Dallas. They have their lead, and it looks like they will be able to close this case very quickly within the next couple of days, but first sleep is necessary. They can finish things off with the rest of the unit tomorrow.

It is the female agent who is driving them with the consultant sat in the back seat like usual, he is gazing out of the window at the grey clouds in the sky. This is pathetic fallacy if ever it existed, he muses, as the feeling of trepidation increases. He is excited to see his son, he has missed his cute hugs and ramblings, but he is nervous about the tension he left behind.

Thanks to some untimely traffic as they reach the city, by the time he makes it back home he knows that William will already be in bed, and he cannot help but feel a little disappointed. He wanted to be able to hug him tight, but that will have to wait until he wakes his parents up at an unthinkable hour in the morning. He won't mind though. In fact, he will make it his priority to be the one to get up for him instead of his mother who he is sure will appreciate a bit more shuteye.

When she hears his key in the lock on the front door Lisbon takes a deep breath. She has missed him these past few days, more than she thought she would and with the whole ring incident playing heavily on her mind.

It is like he expresses disbelief at her being sat on the couch waiting for him as he mutters an unsure, "Hey" before he closes the door behind him.

"Hey yourself. Heard you kicked ass in Dallas." Her enthusiasm throws him off and he finds himself cocking his head to one side whilst studying her face for clues, but he comes up with nothing.

"Well Cho and Fischer did, I was merely a witness." A somewhat awkward silence follows, he rocks on the balls of his feet, and she mentally rifles for what she wants to say. "I'm going to go up and-"

"I made dinner." She manages to state, and she watches his brow furrow.

"You did?"

"Yeah. William and I ate earlier but I kept you some behind." The brunette gets to her feet and starts to head towards the kitchen, assuming that he will follow… which he does of course. "Thought that maybe we could talk…" Her last comment is so quiet that for a second Jane is unsure whether she said it but her brief look backwards, her green eyes searching his for a reaction, tells him that his ears have not deceived him.

He takes a seat at the table which is already laid with a fork and a spoon, as well as a glass of water. What he really fancies is a cup of tea, it has been over four hours since his last, but he doesn't want to seem difficult, so he settles in his seat and takes a sip of the provided beverage. He observes her removing a pot from the oven that had been left on a low heat before she places it on the hob and starts to plate up some of the contents from it. "It is a vegetable risotto. Kind of an experiment but I think it came out quite well." She has never been a keen cook, and since she has been living here, she has been cooking less and less thanks to his amazing skills.

"Smells good." He murmurs earning a small smile from Lisbon who shortly places a plate of the food in front of him.

It surprises him when starts to move the chair opposite him so she can sit there, he knows she said that she wanted to talk but there hasn't been much of that over the past month. He has almost forgotten what it is like. She watches him eating his first mouthful and when he hums in appreciation her smile just widens.

Very quickly he is tucking in, he had no idea how hungry he was until he started eating but it has been a while since he has consumed anything. Fischer doesn't like snack eating in her issued vehicle, she hates crumbs. It is lucky that she has never had to work with Wayne Rigsby. "So I did some ironing whilst you were away-"

"That's what you want to talk about?" He interrupts Lisbon who sends him an all-too-familiar glower.

"Just hush, for a second." He is actually happy to stay quiet, because that means he can continue eating. Of course he is also really intrigued about what she has to say. "I ironed some of your shirts and when I went to put them on your bed I…" She trails off and quickly he understands what this is all about. "I saw your wedding ring."

Her line-of-sight darts down to his bare left hand. She is shocked at herself that she hasn't already looked there, just to make sure that her suspicions were correct. He also peers down at the tan line on his ring finger and pauses. Since he took it off it hasn't crossed his mind, and he thought that it would have done. Maybe he has moved on more that he previously thought. "I'm not married." He murmurs, before persisting with his meal.

This blasé remark stuns her into silence and she leans back in her chair while just staring back at him. It is alien to hear him say those words out loud, after everything in his history. How he dedicated every waking moment for years seeking vengeance for his family's deaths. Maybe he has really changed, maybe he is finally at peace. "Jane…?" She presses for further clarification.

He puts down his cutlery on his now near cleared plate with a clatter. "You were right." He starts. "My commitment to you wasn't obvious and I hate that it caused a good thing to diminish."

Lisbon was ready to have this conversation earlier, she wanted this conversation, but now it is happening her heart is hammering in her chest. She knows that their relationship could potentially withstand one breakup, but if they get back together and then it doesn't work out, could they go through that again? Without completely ruining their friendship. "I hope I didn't push you when you weren't ready-"

"You didn't." He asserts. "It was odd at the time but honestly I haven't thought about it since." Jane outstretches the fingers on his hand and eyes up the spot where his wedding ring once lived. It feels okay that it is no longer there. She watches him swallow his anxiety away before he candidly reveals, "I know what you said about us being better off as friends but if there is even the faintest of chances that we could be something more than that, I want that."

Her cheeks begin to dampen with tears that she had no idea had started to fall, she hurriedly goes to wipe them away, but he has extended his ring-free hand to her across the table, and she finds herself taking it in hers. Leaving the watermarks on her face – oh how he wants to kiss them away. "I want that too."

They simply gaze at one and other for a short time, both loving that the tension between them has dissipated and they are returning to couple territory. Even though it was only a few weeks that they were together, it felt so good, and they relished every single second up until its abrupt end.

Behind her head he can see the moon shining through the window, the grey clouds must have vacated because now the night sky is clear, and he can vaguely make out the twinkling of stars. They are almost as beautiful as the woman sat opposite him, but not quite. He could look at her all day, cataloguing each one her freckles and the amazing shade of green for her eyes.

When his lips turn upwards into a smile her cheeks become painted with a red hue because she has realised what he is doing. It makes her a little self-conscious and she wants to hide away behind her hands. Instead, she focusses on moving the conversation along because when she was thinking in bed last night about potentially resuming their romantic relationship, she thought up terms to do just that. "I think we need some ground rules before we agree to this again." Her serious voice breaks through his thoughts and his face turns blank.

"Ground rules? Sounds romantic." Jane's sarcasms drips through earning a scowl from the agent. Very quickly he understands that she is serious and if he wants the relationship that he so longs for then he must agree to her terms. "I am listening."

The sincerity in his tone helps her to continue, he really wants to make things right and she appreciates that. "Not really ground rules plural just one really. You cannot let this affect our work. I know why it might do and I want to support you through your past trauma, but I need to do this job. It is a part of who I am."

"I get that, and I am going to try so hard, I promise." And Lisbon knows that he is telling the truth and for that she smiles calmly. "I will do anything to make this work because I want to be with you so bad."

"Anything?"

"Hm, yeah. Anything."

They fall silent briefly and he can see the cogs working in her head as she is trying to process his openness. "Even…therapy?"

"Therapy?" He questions right back at her but she just hums. "I mean… if that is truly necessary then I will consider it. I hope to not need it though." His words come out clumsy as he is stumbling through, attempting to get the balance of sounding committed – which he is – without fully pledging to seeing a psychiatrist. It is definitely something he'd rather not do, but he isn't completely opposed to it. "But yes. If that's what it takes."

Her grin shows him that what he has just said means a lot to her and for that he mirrors her expression. They are really going to do this, try again once more. It excites them both. "Oh I have something to show you." She announces, before pushing her check back and scrambling to her feet, releasing his hand in the process.

Shortly, she picks up a piece of paper from the countertop and when it flaps downwards he quickly sees that it is something that their son has drawn, he presumes at nursery. Carefully he takes it from her and marvels at William's creation, although it is difficult to tell what it is meant to be. That doesn't matter though. "Looks like Mr. Tickle." He perceives whilst studying the orange blob with flailing arms.

"Who's Mr. Tickle?"

"You know, from the Mr. Men books?" He looks genuinely perplexed at how she doesn't know what he is talking about, although her expression of mystification trumps his. "It is a book series for children. I think it is British."

"Oh." It is funny how they can go from having a deep conversation about their future as a couple to discussing books for kids, and that is something they're both thinking about. "I think he said that it is a monster."

"So monster has become part of his vocabulary then?"

"Yes, and football and I think potato chips. Although that last one is borderline." Her unsure grimace that is obviously playful makes him chuckle under his breath. "This nursery is turning him into quite the social butterfly."

"I'm only gone for a few days and yet I feel like I've missed so much." It is nothing in the grand scheme of things when he was absent from the young boy's life for fifteen months, as well as not being around during his mother's pregnancy. Jane detects the sorrow in her features at his brief comment and he's quickly shaking his head. "Sorry, that was unnecessarily depressing. Thank you for dinner, I am going to go and have a shower and then head to bed I think."

Lisbon watches him start to rise with bated breath, the voices in her head trying to persuade her to speak up and say something. He shouldn't be alone when he is obviously vulnerable and after all they've promised tonight, she doesn't want to be alone either. Is it too soon to be so close again? "Jane." She finds herself saying and he hums as he walks behind her to put his dirty dish and cutlery in the dishwasher. "Will you…?"

Her pause matches the halting of the sound behind her when he evidently momentarily breaks in his task for a few seconds before he resumes in tidying away the last evidence of his dinner. "Will I what?"

The brunette turns in her chair to face him, and it is only then that she realises how close he is to her. She can smell his alluring natural odour and he can sense her body heat. Their eye contact makes the air seem thin. It is like they're in a bubble together and nothing else exists outside it, just for a couple of short moments. "Will you come to bed with me after your shower?" His face breaks out into a large Patrick Jane smile, and she notes the devilish glint in his sea blue eyes. "No funny business! Maybe a little cuddling…"

"I can settle with cuddling." There won't be any settling involved. He cannot wait to have her in his arms once again, he has been dreaming about it every night since their split (and long before).

Jane takes a tentative step forward in preparation for his next move, he searches her features to make sure that this is okay and the slight lick of her lips tells him that it is. Cautiously, he rests a thumb under her chin and slowly he tilts up her face before leaning down to kiss her softly. It is an affectionate action, one that wakes up the butterflies in her stomach who begin to soar as she guides a hand to run through his curls.

This is right, this is how it is supposed to be.