Chapter 8: Lovers to Friends

Katara gives birth to a healthy baby boy, who she and Aang decide to name Bumi after an old friend. Azula has not seen the baby, nor does she expect to, but she hears he already has a lively, boisterous disposition. She knows better than to distress this particular new mother by showing up to congratulate her in person, so instead she sends Hakoda with a small gift. Hakoda is the proudest, happiest grandfather in the Southern Water Tribe. Much to Azula's chagrin, but not to her surprise, Hakoda is spending more time at Katara's to help with the new baby and therefore spending less time with her. It's for the best though. Azula has accomplished everything she set out to do down south and will be leaving for the Fire Nation. She'll miss certain aspects of living in the Southern Water Tribe, particularly the people who have made her stay tolerable, but she's eager to return home, home to warmer climate and home to her friends and family, home to her infant niece.

She spends one final night with Hakoda before she ships off, a night when she has his undivided attention and affection. They decide to give their heartfelt goodbyes that night, rather than when she's boarding and therefore in public. There's no need to speak of their already ill-defined relationship. They promise to write, but it's understood that when Azula leaves, their fling, or whatever it is, ends. Hakoda assures her that she will find somebody new, someone to cherish her, quirks and all, that she's deserving of love. For the first time in her life, she believes it. Hakoda has given her that confidence. She leaves knowing her worth.

Her sendoff is quite a bit different from her welcoming. For one, she has more belongings than what she started with. Her multiple garment bags are filled with happy memories and souvenirs, including all the clothes Sokka picked out for her, as well as the stuffed penguin otter from Hakoda and other prizes she won at the festival. However, there's one fewer person seeing her off. Azula likes to think that it's because Katara has a newborn to whom she must attend rather than her being petty, but deep down she knows the truth.

Aang says a quick goodbye to her, and even looks somewhat regretful that she's leaving. Azula assumed Aang would be relieved to see her go so she wouldn't keep being a source of stress for his wife, but Aang doesn't harbor the same resentments as Katara. It's a shame they'll probably never get to know each other well, especially when Aang is so important to Zuko. Maybe with time…

Sokka's goodbye is more dramatic. Despite everything, he's sorry to see her go. He gives her a big hug and promises to visit. He regrets that they never came up with a secret handshake or something to make Zuko flip out over their friendship and suggests they work on one in the future. Thank the spirits for Sokka. Perhaps it's premature, but she imagines they'll be friends for life.

Given that Hakoda already said his goodbyes the night before, his sendoff is short and sweet. They already decided to spare everyone from any overt displays of affection, so instead, he gives her a quick hug and kiss on the top of her head. She wants to hold his hands one last time, but she knows better. Everything left unsaid between them, she can read in his eyes. He smiles softly at her as she boards her ship and takes one last look at the Southern Water Tribe and all its beauty.

Finally, her ship departs. She waves goodbye and watches them wave back at her until they become too small to see.

It's good to be back in the safety, familiarity, and luxury of the palace, where her loyal servants are always on their toes due to their fear of her. It's good to be the princess.

"AZULA!" Ty Lee is the first to greet her, with another of her enthusiastic, smothering hugs.

"Hi, Ty – "

"Girl, tell me everything!" Her sparkling gray eyes beg for gossip.

Azula chuckles. "I don't even know where to begin…"

"Oh, come on, you've got to give me something! I've been dying for you to get back – "

Suki interrupts their short reunion. "Azula, welcome back."

"Thank – "

"Zuko would like to see you. Now." Suki grimaces. "Just a heads up… he seems upset."

"How upset are we talking here?" Azula asks, somewhat facetiously. "Baseline Zuko-level upset, or…"

"Just go talk to him. He's in the throne room."

"Alright," Azula shrugs before walking off in that direction. She wonders what's going on, but she's not worried about it. He probably just needs her to get him out of another political pickle. She was hoping to get to get to see little Izumi, but it seems that that will have to wait.

She finds Zuko on the throne. It's clear from his expression that he's not thrilled to see her. "Hello, brother." She smirks. "I can see the Fire Nation isn't up in smoke. Looks like you are capable of managing without me after all."

"Is it true?" he asks with a flat tone.

"You're going to have to be more specific…"

"About you and Hakoda?"

She doesn't give anything away with her face. She doesn't know how much he knows. "That we worked together and developed a solid, foolproof plan for the development of the Fire Nation Embassy?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Azula!" He huffs, aggravated. "Katara wrote to me."

Ah shit. So he knows. Still, she decides to play dumb just to get under his skin. She doesn't appreciate his attitude considering she was gone for the past few months in the freezing tundra and did her job well despite everything. "Oh, so you must have heard all about the new baby! How delightful."

He brings a hand to his head and squeezes it. "How could you?"

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "What's the big deal?"

"He's Katara and Sokka's dad!"

She laughs softly to herself, remembering how she had said the same thing at first when Ty Lee brought it up at the festival. Oh how things have changed.

"He's twice your age!"

"Not quite."

"How would you feel if, oh I don't know, Sokka had a relationship with Mother?!"

"I'd imagine Suki, Noren, and Kiyi would have stronger opinions about that than me."

"UGH! You just – you don't think!" he growls. "If word got out, both of your reputations would be ruined."

"Yes, I suppose you're right about that, but that's stupid. What goes on between two consenting adults is nobody's spirits-damn business." She had kept a calm tone up until this point, but Zuko is finally starting to piss her off. "And besides, why are you getting so mad at me? Last I checked, it takes two to tango."

"Because I know you. And I know him. And I know he wouldn't have initiated an inappropriate relationship like that with you."

She flashes him a snide smile. "You're right. Clearly I'm the only guilty party here because I seduced him. Even though he could have turned me away at any time. But he didn't, he went for it, and can you really blame him, Zuzu?"

He scrunches his face in disgust.

"What? Do you not believe I deserve to be happy?"

"Of course I do! That's not the point I'm making here and you know it. I just… I just don't get it."

"No, you don't." Her voice softens. "You don't get it at all."

"Then explain it to me."

She stares at him, refusing to answer. Zuko would never understand. He'd never understand that Hakoda was the first man to ever look at her a certain way, the first person to make her feel wanted and desired. Maybe Hakoda had never been in love with her, but this was the closest thing she's ever had to love. Zuko could never understand that. He's always had love in his life.

"Was it really that important to you to get back Katara?"

She groans. "This had nothing to do with Katara."

"Not according to her. She thinks you did it just to spite her."

"Of course she does, she thinks everything is about her. But I can assure you, the waterbender was never part of the equation."

"Then what was it?! Were you…" He sighs and shakes his head. "Were you in love or something?"

"Or something." She turns to leave. She blinks back tears.

"Oh, so you're just going to walk away? Look, I'm really trying here, Azula. I just want to understand – "

"You won't," she hisses. "You couldn't possibly." She exits the throne room and storms off into her bedroom, closing the door loudly behind her.

It's good to be home.

It's late, well into the middle of the night, and Ty Lee is lying down next to Azula on her bed. She had come into the princess's room for some badly needed girl talk. Azula finishes up telling her everything that happened in the Southern Water Tribe, including all the juicy details involving Hakoda, and wrapping up with Zuko blowing up at her.

"That's harsh," Ty Lee says with a sympathetic frown.

"Talk about a warm welcome," Azula grumbles sarcastically, her eyes affixed to her bedroom ceiling.

"Zuko just…" Ty Lee sighs. "He'd think differently if he actually saw you two together. He'd see how much chemistry you have."

"He thinks I did it just to spite Katara." Azula rolls her eyes. "Can you believe that?"

"Well, I know you didn't do that, and even if you did, could he really blame you? Katara was so cold to you."

"Hey, at least she got you a date," she shrugs. "How is the earthbender boy, by the way? Do you still see him?" She expected her friend to say no. Ty Lee has a habit of running from man to man, never staying in any relationship long.

"Haru," Ty Lee smiles with a dreamy look in her eye. "Yeah, I actually really like him! Much better now that I convinced him to shave off his mustache." She giggles.

"Yeah, that thing had to go," she laughs. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks!" She grows quiet before turning to her side to face the firebender. "Do you miss him?"

"Hm?"

"Hakoda…"

"Yeah…" Azula whispers, smiling softly.

"Do you think you made the right call?"

"What do you mean?"

"Coming home. I mean, you could have stayed in the Water Tribe if you really wanted to. You could have worked at the Fire Nation Embassy…"

"I suppose you're right. I… I felt like I was making the right decision at the time, but now… I'm not so sure. I guess time will tell." She had considered it, staying in the south, but the more she thought about it, the more she felt she didn't belong there. She's the princess. The Fire Nation is her home. She has a duty to her people.

"For what it's worth, Zuko really did miss you while you were gone. I know he's not acting like it, but I know he's happy to see you."

"How do you know? Did he say something?"

"All the time! Especially after meetings, he'd say things like, 'I really wish Azula were here right now' – "

"Ah, so basically Zuzu just misses the work I do for him to facilitate his job."

"Well that may be part of it, but I know he missed you too. He's… happier when you're around."

"Zuko's never happy." She laughs. "And he's certainly not happy with me right now."

"He'll get over it," Ty Lee assures. "It's not like you and Hakoda are still together or Hakoda knocked you up or anything like that. Could you imagine?!"

Before Azula can respond, the sound of a baby crying permeates through the walls.

Ty Lee gasps, her gray eyes widening. "You don't think – "

"No, Ty. I don't think it's an omen."

"I don't know…"

"It's just a coincidence."

"Okay…" She gets up out of the princess's bed. "Guess I'll go see what's up with the little one."

"Can't Zuko or Mai take care of their own kid?!"

"They do, trust me. They've been attending to her around the clock. They're exhausted."

"Hey… let me handle it. It's late – you should get some sleep."

"Are you sure?" Ty Lee asks. "I don't mind."

"I want to. I haven't seen her yet."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Thanks, but I think I can handle one screaming infant on my own." Azula jumps out of bed and heads toward the noise.

One of the servants is holding the inconsolable child, rocking the little bundle in a blanket in her arms. "Princess! Did Izumi wake you? I-I can't get her to stop crying."

"No, I was already awake. May I… hold her?"

"Um…" The servant looks frazzled. She doesn't know what to do. "Uh of course. She's your niece after all. I-I'll be right here in case – "

"I'd like to be alone with her."

"I, uh, I don't know…"

"Seriously? What do you really think I'm going to do with the baby, huh? Drop her? Light her on fire?" She glares at her. "Do I need to get my brother?"

"N-No, that won't be necessary. My apologies, Princess." She hands Azula the fussy baby and scurries out of the room.

She smiles down at the tiny human cradled in her arms. She's so small and helpless. "Hi, Izumi," she says quietly. "It's so nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry I'm late. I would have been here sooner if I could." Slowly, she begins to rock the baby, bouncing her gently. "I'm your auntie Azula. Maybe you've already heard of me. I am rather famous, or… infamous depending on who you ask. You know, you're a lot cuter than I thought you'd be." She laughs and Izumi's crying starts to settle. "I didn't think Zuko could produce anything this cute. You must take after your mother." Azula dries the baby's eyes with the blanket. Her eyes are bright gold. "I can't wait to get to know you, to teach you things. Just so you know, I'm the smartest, most capable one in the family, so come to me first if you ever need help." Her crying ceases. "If you're a firebender, I can teach you how to produce brilliant blue flames. And if you're really talented, I can teach you to shoot lightning out of your tiny little fingers. Wouldn't that be fun?" Izumi smiles and blinks her eyes. "But even if you're not a bender, I can still teach you how to defend yourself. You're going to be the Fire Lord one day, and you're going to have to know how to protect yourself and take down bad guys. It shouldn't be a problem for you – your mother will certainly teach you how to throw knives and your father will teach you how to swordfight, or 'swordbend' as our friend Sokka likes to call it." The infant rests her eyes, smiling contently. "Oh, am I already boring you? Well so be it. The sun will be rising to greet us soon." She carefully sets Izumi down in her crib, but as soon as she starts to leave, the baby begins to cry again. "Hey, hey, don't fret. Oh, I know! I have a little something for you. Let me go get it."

Azula turns to leave. Zuko is standing in the doorway, smiling softly. "Don't worry, I was just leaving – "

He cuts her off with a hug. "You're really good with her."

"Thanks…" She half-hugs him back, patting him on the back.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier." He sighs. "I thought about what you said, and you're right, your relationships are no one else's business."

"It's okay," she says reluctantly.

"I've been a bit sleep deprived lately," he chuckles. "My temper's been shorter than usual."

"That's hard to believe," she teases.

"Yeah, yeah. Well anyway, I'm really happy you're home."

"Me too." She smiles. "Would you mind if I gave a little gift to Izumi?"

"No, by all means."

She leaves and heads back to her room where she empties the contents of her garment bags onto the floor. She pulls out the stuffed toys she won at the festival: the miniature polar bear dog, pink pentapus, and white deer fox. And then her eyes land on the otter penguin…

For a moment, she considers giving it to Izumi, that maybe it would be a good step for her to take in order to get over Hakoda. But the more she looks at it, the fuller her heart feels. She's not ready to part with it yet, not ready to let go. So she decides to keep that one for herself, at least for the time being. Maybe there will come a day when she won't need it anymore.

She grabs the other three smaller stuffed animals and heads back to Izumi's room. Zuko is standing over the crib, trying to assuage the baby. She sets the animals down on the far side of the crib such that they are facing Izumi. "Now you have friends to watch over you while you sleep. You'll never have to be alone."

"Thanks, Azula, that's nice of you." Zuko yawns. "You should get some rest. It's almost morning." He sits down with his back propped up against the crib.

"It's okay. I'll stay up with you." She sits down next to him and he smiles at her. She rests her head on his shoulder.

"By the way, welcome back," he says groggily, resting his head on top of hers.

"Thanks, brother. It's good to be home."

And that is the truth. Even though she misses Hakoda like mad, she misses sleeping in his bed and waking up with his arms wrapped around her, and she knows it's going to take some time for her to adjust to living life without him, she doesn't feel so alone anymore. Maybe she loves Hakoda, or maybe she doesn't – she doesn't know what it feels like to be in love – but it doesn't matter either way. Home is where the heart is. And her home is in the Fire Nation.