Too Much Family

A couple of hours later, the three were in the car on their way to the Herrmanns'. Jack did not seem to be pouting, but he was very quiet. Kelly glanced in the rear view mirror and saw him silently staring out the window. The wind had picked up a bit and some clouds were moving in. The temperature was in the mid-thirties, and the prediction was for a light rain that would ultimately freeze. Kelly was not looking forward to tomorrow. Stella was taking her shift, while Kelly was subbing out for the day to stay with Jack. The next shift, they would switch. It wasn't that Kelly dreaded being with Jack, but the chances were better than even that they would be shut up inside all day, and both of them would likely be restless. On top of that, if the roads were frozen and travel was dicey, he would be worried about Stella—and all of his colleagues, for that matter—for the entire shift.

When they arrived at the Herrmanns', it seemed that the rest of the gang was there. Kelly hoped he had briefed them sufficiently on not completely overwhelming Jack. He really didn't know how the boy would handle all of this. Quite honestly, the Herrmanns alone could be a bit daunting, just because of the sheer number. Add all of the others, and it was a lot. Kelly was a bit apprehensive.

Jack emerged slowly from the car, looking a bit unsure of himself. Stella regretted that they hadn't held out for boots on their shopping trip yesterday, because it looked as if the weather was going to get sloppy before too long. She was afraid their boy was going to have cold, wet feet. He was probably used to that sort of thing, but it bothered her. Who knew she had such strong mom genes? He looked so small and so insecure in this moment that she just wanted to gather him in for a hug and reassure him that it would be okay, that she and Kelly were here for him. She knew that would not be well-received, though, so she squashed the impulse and settled for what she hoped was an encouraging smile when he glanced briefly at her.

As they entered through the front door, Herrmann and Luke were bringing in the food through the back door. The noise was pretty terrific, but as soon as everyone realized they were there, it dropped off. All eyes turned their way, and Jack pressed back into Kelly, who was standing behind him with a hand on the thin shoulder. "Everybody, this is my son, Jack," said Kelly. "Jack, I won't try to introduce everybody. You can learn names as you go." There were some waves and a few people said, "Hi, Jack," or "Good to have you, buddy." Everyone kept it very low key, though, as Kelly had requested. Soon people were eating and talking and laughing again. As the noise level increased, Stella and Kelly both noticed Jack retreating. He sat in a corner of the sofa and just observed, not saying anything or really engaging with anybody. That was okay. Nobody wanted to force him. Occasionally, someone would ask him how he liked the food or if he was doing okay. Jack would answer in one or two words, and everyone accepted that.

Eventually, Luke wandered over to introduce himself. He was a nice kid, and he noticed that Jack was having a tough time with the boisterous crowd. Being on the quiet side himself, Luke got it. "You want to come see my room?" he asked. "I mean, I share it with my brother, but he's away at college now, so it's mostly mine. Wanna come up?"

"Okay," said Jack.

The two boys walked upstairs together. Once in Luke's room, they talked about this and that. Luke liked to read, too, but he was suitably impressed with some of the books that Jack told him he had read.

"You must be really smart," said Luke.

Jack shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. I guess."

Eventually, Annabelle came looking for them. "Luke, Mom says you need to come back down. You're being rude to our other guests."

Luke sighed. "Tell her I'll be right there," he said. After Annabelle left, he turned to Jack. "You can stay up here for a while longer if you want. I'll let your folks know. When this crowd gets together, it's a lot. It can really be tough if you aren't used to them."

"Thanks," said Jack. "I think I will hang here for a bit, if you're sure you don't mind."

Luke shrugged. "Why would I mind?"

Jack shrugged in return. "I dunno. Sometimes people just get upset about stuff and I don't know why."

"I feel that," said his new friend. "Just come back down when you're ready."

"Okay."

Luke dutifully returned downstairs, stopping to tell Kelly that Jack was up in Luke's room, "just chillin'." Kelly frowned, and Luke said, "I think it was starting to get to him, you know? A lot of people, he doesn't know anybody. I just think he was having a hard time."

Kelly smiled. "Yeah, probably. Thanks, Luke. You're a good man." Luke smiled in return and wandered off to another part of the house. Kelly hunted up Stella and told her they would probably need to think about leaving soon. "Not right now, but not too much longer, okay?"

"Of course. Whatever our boy needs, you know?" Kelly nodded and turned to talk to Cruz and Chloe, who were standing nearby.

As it turned out, the rain started not long afterwards, and people began to drift away. Everyone wanted to get home because no one really wanted to drive on dark, wet, partially frozen streets. As the party broke up, Kelly asked Luke if he would go and get Jack. When Luke went into his room, however, he immediately noticed that it was cold. Then he noticed that the window was up. Jack was gone. Luke was fully aware that it was possible to drop onto the roof below his window, and from there shinny down the nearby tree—the only one in the yard. Lee Henry had done it enough times. Luke dashed downstairs and told the adults what he had found, and the search was on.

On foot and in cars, the entire 51 second shift family turned out to look for their newest member. Searching, calling, but to no avail. After over an hour, Kelly called Jay Halstead and explained the situation. Jay in turn explained it to Voight, who wasted no time in getting his unit on the case. This was a missing kid, and he was family. No stone left unturned were his orders. Let's find this kid, and fast. Armed with Jack's picture—one taken the day before as he was leaving the hospital—the Intelligence Unit set out to find him. Hank advised Kelly and Stella to go home and wait, figuring that the boy might head home. It was a pretty good walk, but probably nothing he hadn't done before. Stella was upset because they had found Jack's new coat still on the sofa at the Hermmanns', which meant that he was wandering around without it, and the temperature was beginning to plummet.

Hank's instincts turned out to be right, though. As Kelly pulled into the parking area behind the building, he and Stella both saw a small figure dart away from the headlights. Kelly parked and jumped out in about five seconds flat. "Jack?" he called. "Jack! I saw you, bud. Come here." Jack slowly emerged from the recessed rear doorway and walked toward Kelly. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and his entire body was shuddering with the cold. As he stood in front of his father, he seemed to be swaying on his feet. Stella handed the boy's coat to Kelly, and without a word, he reached out and wrapped it around Jack, then bodily picked him up and carried him to the door. They made their way to the apartment with no conversation whatsoever.

Once they were inside the apartment, Kelly set Jack down and looked at him. The boy hunched his shoulders and raised his eyes. "I...I...s-s-s-sorry." He was shivering so hard he could barely get words out through his chattering teeth.

"Not now, son," said his dad. "Let's get you warmed up. Stella, he's probably hypothermic, don't you think?"

"Yeah, probably. Come on, honey, let's get you into a hot shower and then into some warm clothes. Kelly, why don't you build a fire?"

"Good idea," Kelly replied. "Go on, Jack. Stella will help you." Jack stood as though rooted. "Jack. Go on. I'm not going to tell you you aren't in trouble, because you probably are. But this minute we just want to get you warmed up. Let Stella help you find something to put on and get a shower started. We'll worry about what you did later. Right now, we're just worried about you."

Jack looked puzzled as he slowly moved toward the hallway and his room.

Kelly took the time to call Hank and a couple of other folks to get them to call off the search, assuring them that Jack was mostly okay, just chilled to the bone. Within a few minutes, he had a roaring fire going. Several months earlier, Stella had talked him into fixing the fireplace and buying two giant bean bags, and they had added a third last week as they prepared for Jack's arrival. Kelly had actually enjoyed the bean bag—which he didn't think he would—and now he was grateful that they had a cozy spot for his boy. He shook his head as he pondered what to do about this. Heaving a sigh, he headed off toward Jack's room.

Stella was sitting in Jack's desk chair when he entered. "The shower is still running," he observed.

"Yeah, I told him to stay for a bit and try to warm up. I gave him some sweats and some camp socks to put on when he gets out, but he's probably still going to be chilled. What do you suppose got into him, Kelly?"

"No idea. I certainly don't know what he's thinking. He's not exactly a big communicator."

"Gee. I wonder where he gets that from?"

"Guilty as charged. But not helpful at the moment."

"You know," Stella said slowly, "he acted like he expected you to really let him have it. It's like when you said our first worry was him, you were speaking a foreign language."

"I probably sort of was. I mean, he's probably not used to being anybody's priority, to say the least. I guess he just figured he was gonna get it and that would be that. I did notice that he didn't seem to know how to react to us being worried about him. And I am, by the way. A lot. This little adventure could not have been good for his injured lung. And his shoulder must hurt like a bitch after walking all the way back here in this weather. I think tonight we just need to take care of him, you know? He and I can talk tomorrow when it's just the two of us. Looks like we're gonna be stuck inside all day anyway."

"Sounds like a plan."

The shower stopped running, and in a few minutes, Jack came down the hall, clad in the warm sweats Stella had given him, but still shivering, arms wrapped around himself. "Hey, bud," said Kelly. "Still cold?" Teeth still chattering a bit, Jack nodded.

"How about some hot cocoa?" asked Stella. "Maybe warm you up from the inside, too, huh?"

Jack nodded again. "Thanks," he said very softly, still with that puzzled expression on his face. "Um, Kelly?"

"What, buddy?"

"Am I punished?"

Kelly sighed. "I don't know yet. Maybe. I'm not trying to stress you out, I just—to be honest, Jack, this is new to me, too, remember. I really don't have things figured out right now. Let's just worry about getting you warmed up the rest of the way, alright? That I know how to do. Bring your comforter and a pillow, maybe, and let's get you situated in front of the fire. How does that sound?"

Still with that confused look, Jackson just said, "Okay."

Half an hour, a cup of cocoa, and a Tylenol later, Jack had finally stopped shivering. Curled cozily into a bean bag and covered with a warm comforter, he was quietly staring into the fire, an adult on either side. Kelly and Stella had changed into their pajamas and were both sipping coffee. No one had spoken for some minutes, until Jack said quietly, "I really am sorry. I know I probably have to get punished, but I didn't really mean to worry everybody."

Obviously, Jack did not want to wait to discuss this. Kelly went with that. "Okay, but talk to me. What were you thinking? Why did you do it?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I was thinking. I felt—I don't know. Kind of like I couldn't breathe. You said that these people are family, but there were so many of them, and it was loud, and...even after I went upstairs to Luke's room, I could hear them all. I've never had a family, really, and so I guess—I guess it was too much family or something. I felt sort of dizzy, and...and...scared, I guess? So I went to the window, just to feel like I had some space, you know? And then I realized how easy it would be to get out, and so I just—did. And then I just started walking, but I didn't know where to go, really. I started to head back for the homeless camp where I used to live, but then I just...I just came here. It's like I don't even remember parts of it. I just started to get so cold, and then I thought about where I could be warm. And that was here. I really am sorry, I swear. I can't...I can't..." He began to breathe heavily, as though struggling.

"Easy, honey. It's okay. I think we understand." Stella, with her hand on his back, rubbing gently. He turned to face her.

"You do?"

"Sweetie, you had a panic attack. It was too much, just like you told us you were afraid it would be." She looked across to Kelly. "I think this might be partly our fault. You weren't ready, and we pushed."

Kelly nodded. "I think so. Tell you what, Jack. We're going to let this go, because Stella is right. We should have paid more attention to what you were trying to tell us. And I think you've punished yourself enough, anyway. So you're off the hook. This time. But if you ever do this again, there will be consequences. Fair enough?"

Those huge blue eyes looked into Kelly's. "Really? No punishment?"

"Like I said, not this time. But never do it again, or there will be. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." Jack sighed deeply, tension draining from him. The conversation drifted then. How nice Luke was, the other people at the party, hockey, the foul weather and the dropping temperature. Soon Jack stopped talking, lulled to sleep by the voices of his parents. It wasn't too long before the three of them were sound asleep before the fire, where they would stay until morning.