Always grateful to everyone who takes the time to read and share their feedback, thank you so, so much! Also grateful to my beta, CoppertopJ, and my pre-readers, gabby1017 and DaniDarlingxx, these ladies are amazing!

I hope you're ready for that roadtrip to Chicago, because it's here :).

Even with the windows rolled all the way up, I knew we could still be easily heard, but I couldn't care less. Every single touch burned me from the outside in. I most certainly had not expected her to give in so easily, nor to be so willing after the events of the day we had left behind. Perhaps she needed a release - or perhaps she was just as intoxicated by my presence as I was by hers and there was no need for any other excuses.

With one hand gripping her ass, the other hand rubbing small circles on her clitoris, and my cock buried deep inside her body, I felt very close to exploding. In and out, deep and hard, wet and tight - we were made for each other, that much I knew as she was moving her hips frantically above me, welcoming every inch of me in the warm home of her body and begging me to never stop.

And for her, I would never stop. Not when she was pulling at my hair in desperation. Not when she was coming apart under my fingers time and time again, covering my hand with her liquid arousal. Not when she was telling me how she wanted me to go down on her to lick her clean after I was done fucking her like this. Not when I was groaning 'mine' like an animal, only to hear her whisper 'yours' in return.

"As I've said, that'll be twenty dollars, Sir," the woman behind the desk informed me, rudely interrupting the delicious scenario in my head.

I had to stop doing this to myself. Fantasizing wasn't going to get me anywhere. I felt Bella's eyes burning a hole through me as I flusteredly pulled my shirt over the hardness in my jeans and handed a bill to the cashier. I had to be thankful for the fact that my thoughts were well-protected.

"What was that all about?" Bella asked as we were stepping outside the gas station and getting back inside her truck.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You seemed a little agitated in there."

"Did I?"

"It's because of me, isn't it?"

Fuck. She knows. Play it cool. Better yet: keep it light.

"Why would you make me agitated, Bella?" I offered in the most playful tone I could manage, hoping that this would throw her off track enough to forget about whatever idea she had built inside her head.

"Because you think I might slip and commit a genocide any second, obviously."

"Oh."

I placed my jacket back in my lap and started the truck, without saying anything else. I felt a little ridiculous for ever believing that she had seen through me clearly enough to get an idea of the scorchingly hot fantasies that were ruining my lucidity. It was clear as day that I was in over my head and that my ego was getting the better of me.

It was also clear as day that I needed an orgasm soon, if I wanted to be a functional being again.

"You know, I have no idea how you were when you got changed, but I don't plan on massacring people left and right," she said.

"Bella, dear, your heart might be in the right place, but your new cravings might make the decisions for you every now and then."

"But I can stop. I kept myself under control back home."

I shook my head at her misplaced optimism.

"You will understand what I mean," I offered gently. "Maybe not today, but you will. The blood of some people can sometimes be too good to be ignored."

Like yours was to me.

She pondered over this new piece of information for a bit, before speaking again.

"Have you found such a person, Edward?"

This really wasn't the direction I had hoped our conversation would take, but I had to admit that I had steered it in that direction - albeit unwillingly. Thankfully, there were always ways to avoid it.

"You're awfully curious," I chuckled. "Have I missed the cue about us playing 21 Questions?"

"Now that would be a good idea. Maybe you wouldn't evade my questions left and right."

The truck made a roaring sound resembling a bear and I couldn't help but laugh at the timing.

"This antiquity seems to agree with you."

"Don't you dare insult my truck!"

"With how old this thing might be, it wouldn't make a difference. Her sense of hearing must be long gone."

"She might be slow, but she's steady. Show some respect!"

"God forbid I don't respect a car that's almost as old as me."

I caught a glimpse of Bella rolling her eyes while trying to hold back a smile. Her protectiveness over the truck was endearing, just as much as her sense of humour was. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea if I let her know this - it was certainly better than admitting I made love to her days ago and I had been unable to stop fantasizing about doing it again. And incomparably better than admitting I had also drained her and changed her by accident.

"You are quite an entertaining friend to have, Bella."

"Oh, so we're friends."

I had to look at her to understand if this label had displeased her in some way. But her expression was impenetrable - it wasn't easy to guess whether her little smile was a sign of her agreeing with me or a sign of a sign of her being ready to mock me.

"Unless you think otherwise," I added with caution.

"I mean… I am about to drop my things at your place and it appears that we have to remain around each other for the time being, thanks to those Volturi thingies you've told me about, so I suppose 'friends' is as good of a term as any. It's just that things have been happening a little too fast than what I am used to."

"Is that bad?"

"Not necessarily."

When she didn't add more, I had to press a little.

"Being a little more specific wouldn't hurt."

"It may be strange, but I have a feeling like I've known you for a while," she said.

"You kind of do."

"No, you're talking days, but I'm talking months. Normally, I need a little more time to get accustomed to people. And that can get awkward, you know? That awkwardness can get tiring in return, which is probably why I don't have that many friends. I don't know what it is about you that gets me so... talkative. So soon."

"I really cannot complain, I enjoy listening to you."

"Even if I sounded like a broken rambling machine just a few seconds earlier?"

"Especially because you sounded like a broken rambling machine just a few seconds earlier," I teased her.

She giggled and the sound sent my head spinning. I wanted to hear it again as soon as it ended.

"So, since we are… friends," she started. "That game of 21 Questions doesn't sound as ridiculous, does it?"

"I'm starting to think you've got a curious little gremlin hidden inside that head of yours."

"There you go again, evading my question," she rightfully accused.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I'm not used to this. I've been on my own for far too long."

"So you've decided to become a grumpy old man who responds to questions only when he sees fit, to make up for it?"

"I'm not grumpy," I protested.

Bella's laugh filled up the car, making me realize I had fallen exactly in her trap.

"All right, smarty-pants, I'll play, just to prove a point," I said, interrupting her laughing at my expense. "But here's how it's going to go: we share those questions. One for me and one for you, until we finish."

"This is so not how this game works."

"It's my offer. Take it or leave it."

I moved my eyes to the side, catching her grimace just in time. I found myself wishing to erase that grimace with a kiss and my own yearning left me troubled. This was not an acceptable thought to have, considering what I had done. But it seemed that the more time I was spending in her presence, the harder it became not to build an array of reveries in my head. Some of them were unashamedly carnal. But others… they were soft 'what if's. Harmless daydreams. Fragile hopes of holding her in my arms and simply thanking her for existing.

At the end of the day, I knew I could have none of that. The acknowledgement hurt in a way that didn't feel familiar. The hurt came with a longing too - a longing for what could have been, had I had more discipline the night I met this beautiful girl. I could picture a universe in which Bella would have fallen asleep on my chest after our night of making love ended. A universe in which I would have walked her to the train station the morning after and agreed to come visit her in Forks. I would have visited her every night in that cluttered room of hers, if she would have allowed me to. I would have learned to live with the thirst, for as long as she would have accepted me in her life - for there was no way our liaison could last long if she wasn't frozen in time. She would have outgrown me at some point. Naturally. And I would have been left with the purest memories.

The peacefulness of that tableau was excruciating. I wanted to be part of it. I needed it.

But I could never.

"I suppose it's better than nothing," Bella decided, putting an end to my misery.

Could she sense the sudden tension in the air? I didn't want to find out.

"Fine, then I'll start," I said.

"Why not me?"

"Isn't there some unwritten rule that the oldest person goes first?"

She let out an exasperated sigh, but agreed nonetheless. With my hands on the steering wheel, I tried to choose a question that was good enough to start. There were far too many I wanted to ask, many of which I wouldn't have dared to voice out loud.

Do you hate me?

Would you still be here if you knew the truth?

May I hold you close, even if there are no humans in close distance to keep you away from?

Can I please, for the love of all that's holy, pull over and go down on you?

No, certainly none of that.

"Tell me, Bella, is this entire… situation… upsetting to you?" I asked in the end.

"You mean being a vampire?"

"That, but also… being stuck with me for the time being. I need to know, what's your stance on all this chaos?"

Silence followed and I would have paid any amount of money to know where her mind went in that moment. Learning to be patient was not easy when I had been handed the thoughts of those around me on a silver platter all my life.

"Well, your presence is not the upsetting part. In fact, you're the one thing keeping me grounded right now."

I was not expecting that.

"Am I?"

"Yes. But everything is still awfully new to me. What's upsetting me is that I have to lie to my parents. I've never done that, I've never had any secrets to keep. And now, all of a sudden… I'm in the eye of the hurricane."

"So your main concern is not the newness of your circumstances, but rather… your parents."

"Exactly."

The selflessness of this logic took me aback, even if this was not the first time she was wearing it on her sleeve. This time, however, I was not really questioning the sincerity. I knew now that it was anything but a facade.

"You've got a good heart," I observed.

"I don't know about that, but now it's my turn," she said.

"So eager, Isabella!"

"All right, so I've been thinking and I really cannot come up with an answer for this on my own, so I'm just going to ask. Why don't you have any friends?"

"What?"

"You know what I mean. You're charming and you've lived long enough, so what's stopping you?"

Her bluntness was not something I had expected, but it was a welcome change of pace. Besides, she had just called me 'charming' and that tickled my ego in unexpected ways.

"Our kind doesn't really make too many connections," I explained. "That's what a nomad lifestyle gets you."

"But you can't possibly go a lifetime without befriending anyone at all."

"I have my acquaintances, Bella, I'm not some recluse. But they're just that: acquaintances. They come and go. We accidentally cross paths and that's about it."

"That sounds really lonely," she murmured.

"It's how I've always been."

"But doesn't it get boring?"

"I believe it was my turn," I reminded her, turning to flash her a quick smile.

Her breath caught up a fraction of a second later and she looked down immediately, as if to hide a blush - a blush that would never come again. These relics of her human behaviour were a cruel reminder of what I had taken away from her.

"So tell me," I began, realizing that I knew exactly what I wanted to ask next. "Do you regret waking up like this?"

When I looked at her again, I realized that she was still looking down, this time a little frown eclipsing her mien.

"I think... it doesn't matter if I do or not," she responded carefully. "Because it's out of my control anyway. Right now, I regret the fact that I have been thrown into this blindly, with no preparation whatsoever. It's not fair, you know? Like… why me? Shouldn't there be some type of consent when it comes to this?"

Frozen, I responded the only way I knew I could without revealing the horrific reality:

"You're right, there should be."

"I just wish I could ask whoever did this to me why they did it in the first place."

I sighed, wishing with every bone in my body to just tell her. But this friendship we were building was too precious to be ruined so early in its tracks. What a shame that would have been. The selfishness of my thinking did not escape me, but it was the one thing stopping me from spiraling.

"You didn't deserve this," I uttered. "But you are captivating in a way I wouldn't have thought possible, Bella. So it would be a lie if I said I wasn't glad that I've come across you."

None of what I had said was a lie. It seemed that, if I was careful, I could dance around the truth without raising her suspicions.

"I'm glad you did too," she replied. "Now tell me: how do you spend your days and nights, since there's no hope for sleep?"

"That's a good question. Well, when I am not hunting, I read a lot. Usually I have a few pocket-edition books I carry with me."

"I suppose you have your favourites?"

"That's like supposing I have a favourite kid."

"Come on, the latest book you've really liked," she insisted.

"I've enjoyed 'The Picture of Dorian Grey' quite a lot, thinking about it."

"Very grim, but I like it. So that's all you like to do when you're not sleeping?"

"No. I play the piano too. But I hardly have time for that, since my only piano is in Chicago, and I hardly ever go there."

"I'd love to hear you play."

"For you? I'd do it with pleasure. Now I'll just pretend you didn't just ask me two more questions than you were supposed to and ask you this: did you have any hobbies in your human life?"

"I might disappoint you here."

"Hard to believe that could ever happen."

"Fine. I love reading too - much like you do - and… cooking, I guess. So nothing to see here."

"I think there's plenty to see when it comes to you, Bella."

"And I think you simply haven't got to know enough people properly, otherwise you wouldn't be so convinced of that."

"I may not have close friends, but keep in mind that I can hear the minds of those around me. This allows me a greater appreciation of people. And trust me, you're unlike anyone I've ever met."

"You cannot hear me, you wouldn't know."

"That's exactly my point, dear."

"Why do you call me that?"

"Is that your next question?"

"Is that yours?" she countered.

"Touché."

A faint laugh escaped her, but she stopped soon, waiting for an answer.

"I call you that because I find you delightful, Bella," I explained. "I've seen a lot of evil until you came along, and you're so… pure. Quite like an angel walking on Earth. You're endearing to me. Do you want me to stop calling you that?"

"No, I like it. Where are we with the questions?"

"Since we both foolishly lost two questions seconds ago… I'd say we've got fourteen left, so let's use them wisely."

"I agree."

"Tell me what your goals were before your life got turned upside down. Beyond that internship in Olympia."

So that I know everything that I've stolen from you.

If she was anything like other girls her age, I could guess a few of those goals, going solely by the mental patterns I had noticed throughout the years: falling in love, having a nice enough wedding, following some crazy dream, eventually having a kid or two. Simple things, really.

"I don't know what to tell you, Edward."

"Whatever it was that you wanted to do with your life?" I encouraged.

"Well, I've never given much thought about this. You see, I tend to take things as they come rather than plan for them."

"But this leaves you no room for dreams."

"It also leaves no room for disappointments," she argued. "But I have a feeling you won't back down, so to save you the trouble, I'll say this: I wanted to see the world someday. The Great Barrier Reef, the Northern lights, things like that."

Not what I had initially expected to hear, but I could understand the wanderlust. It suited who she was.

"Well, you've got an infinite amount of time ahead of you to do all that."

"I suppose. Now it's your turn to tell me what your goals in life were before… you know…"

She trailed off, not finishing her sentence. I could guess there was nervousness in her voice - almost as if she was expecting some kind of rebuff for treading around this subject. Thankfully, this was an easy question, one that didn't require any mental gymnastics on my part.

"I wanted to join the army," I informed her. "I guess it wasn't that special, since most young men dreamed of that around that time. My mom just wanted to see me home safe, where I could find a girl to marry and offer her the grandchildren she so desired. Of course, the pandemic shattered it all - my dreams and her dreams."

"I'm sorry… your mom's dream for you sounded peaceful."

"You could say that. But it's not like I regret it. I don't think I was made for what she was hoping for me."

"So you didn't want a wife and kids," Bella inferred.

"At that point in my life, most definitely not. I couldn't see the point of committing myself to a family life, when all I really wanted was to be in the trenches of war."

For a while, silence reigned over us, as she was taking in my words. In the end, my curiosity started ringing too loudly in my ears and I just had to know what her answer to my next question would be.

"What do you regret losing after your change, Bella?"

Moving my eyes to her, I was spellbound in an instant. Her teeth were piercing her lower lip as she was preparing her answer and my instincts got the best of me immediately. I wanted to bite that lip just as much. To feel its softness between my teeth, before sucking on it gently… to let my tongue graze it, just enough so that I could get a proper taste...

This was not a good moment to be as hard as I was. I moved the jacket around in my lap, hoping that my gesture came off as casual.

"Beyond the obvious fact that I regret losing the chance of a normal relationship with my parents overnight, I think I also regret losing the ability to sleep," she decided.

"So you liked your naps as a human?"

"No, not really. But it's one of those things that you miss once it's no longer there. It'd be nice if at least the possibility existed."

"Understandable, I guess."

"What do you miss the most about being human?"

Somehow, the question that had been so simple for her to answer was also the one that could wreak havoc for me. I was long past missing the trivial parts of my human life - such as sleeping or eating. Throughout the years, only one constant remained: whatever I did, wherever I went, the knowledge that there would be no room for a soul in this frozen body of mine was ever present. It was how things were supposed to be, since my sole existence depended on crushing souls to the ground - even vile ones.

It wasn't exactly a source of mourning, since I had grown used to this reality. It used to be, when I was still with him. He was really adamant about proving me wrong, while I was really adamant about proving to him he was delusional. There was no point in denying the underlayers of our nature just to comfort our egos. Patting each other on the back in a bid to convince ourselves that maybe we weren't so bad was useless, as I had found out.

"I miss my soul," I admitted after a while.

"Your soul? I'm… not sure I'm following."

"There's nothing to follow. I lost it the moment I woke up to this new existence and drank blood for the first time, Bella. You can't really recover it after that."

"I… don't think it works that way."

"Like you would know," my words came out mocking and I regretted it immediately.

"I think the idea of souls goes beyond that," she said, ignoring my rudeness.

"What's your stance on souls?"

"There goes the twelfth question."

"I'm waiting."

"Fine," she huffed. "I won't try to give a definition, because I don't think I could. But I believe that each being with a conscience has a soul. If you are living, breathing, having thoughts, having feelings, you cannot possibly be without a soul. It is that simple, at least for me."

"A fair point, but dying, for all intents and purposes, is the moment one's soul leaves their body. That's how it works in most religions, right? Existing beyond death is a travesty, just like the idea of having a soul after that. Being frozen in this state is not living, it is simply existing."

"Well, I can't concur. If you didn't have a soul, you wouldn't have given me the time of day when you found me on the pier."

Guilt coursed through me, cold and piercing.

"It was my responsibility," I pointed out - once again, not really lying, but not telling the truth either. "Any other vampire would have done the same, unless they were feeling suicidal and wanted to be witnesses to a disaster that would automatically make them guilty in the Volturi's eyes."

"Maybe, but going by that logic, you could have killed me just to get rid of a responsibility that wasn't yours to begin with, to solve the problem quickly. Yet you didn't. You're here, which means that you cannot possibly be soulless."

If only she knew…

"It goes deeper than that," I offered gently.

"Life is not black and white. There are grey areas scattered in between."

"Not when you have to kill for sustenance."

"Do you regret killing all those people?" she demanded.

I had to pause for a bit, to truly analyze this. My victims had always been vile in every way, with the notable exception of Bella, which meant that regrets weren't necessarily a given. I killed, I fed and I moved on - this was the way I functioned. It did hurt to hear their penitence in their last moments before their deaths, but it was always too little, too late.

"If I look at it solely from the lens of their thoughts, no, I don't," I responded. "I cannot sympathise with people who would willingly rape, torture, denigrate, murder another human being. So many times, that human being happens to be a child - even more so then. What I regret is them losing their chance to become better people, but that is out of my control."

"The fact that you believe there is still hope for the vilest people proves to me that you do have a soul."

I rolled my eyes at her candour, but then another thought popped inside my head, so loud that I had to voice it.

"Are you disgusted with me, Bella? You know, for having done that…"

"No," her response came loud and clear. "I think you did what you had to do to survive - and you took the higher road, all things considered. You could've killed innocent people, but you didn't. That, to me, speaks volumes of who you are at your core."

I felt my jaw clenching with anxiety, knowing that my record was forever tainted by her impeccable blood.

"And you know, between two evils, it's always good to choose the lesser one," she added.

I remained silent, knowing how undeserving I was of being patted on the back.

"Ask me something else," I pleaded, wishing to step away from the subject.

"All right. But please don't get mad?"

"Already sounds promising. Let's hear it."

"So I know you've said you've had that doctor who saved you as a companion for a while. And I know you don't want to talk about him, but… was he the only one?"

"The only one what?" I replied flatly.

"Your only companion."

She knew how to play her cards, I had to give her that. The wild mass of blonde curls flashed through my mind in an instant, torturing me. If there was a potion out there that could make me forget her, I would have given everything I had to drink it.

"He wasn't," I admitted. "There was someone else, all the way back in the '50s."

"What happened?"

"That's two questions in a row for you, which leaves us with five more, but so be it. Her name was Grace. We had just reached a point in which we could no longer see eye to eye and that was it."

This was surely the understatement of the year.

"Oh, so she was… a girlfriend of some sort," Bella uttered.

"Not even close," I laughed bitterly. "She was not my type. Just another acquaintance in a long list. I've never known that kind of love, to be honest."

"That is sad."

I was surprised to hear the deep chagrin in her tone.

"Have you?" I asked, although I knew the answer to that already.

"No, but I haven't lived a hundred years. Living for so long without friends is bad enough, but without love at all is… wow, it is way worse. May I ask why?"

"I just haven't met anyone to pique my curiosity, I suppose."

"But you did have… you know… uhm, women, so to speak…"

She sounded more and more nervous with each word.

"No, Bella, I didn't have women. Lust is not something that I take for granted. It is all or nothing for me."

And you are the only one to ever arouse me in that way, anyway.

"I'm the same way," she replied. "So I understand."

"That's a comforting thought. Besides, bonds between vampires can get intense fast. And awfully vicious."

"Vicious?"

"Yes, vicious." Like Grace. "It's better to just avoid it altogether. Why do you want to know that, though?"

She was already studying my face when I turned to get a clue about where her thoughts might be heading, going by her facial expressions. Our eyes only met for a few seconds, but it was enough to light me up from within. Just like that, I forgot about everything I had blabbered about: nefarious bonds, avoiding relationships, Grace. In the red mirror of her irises I couldn't see the faintest trace of obsessive malevolence. There was only warmth. A warmth that made me feel like home.

The same warmth that had drawn me in when she was human, unchanged despite the new colour.

The warmth that only a kind soul could hold.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she murmured, her eyes flying down to her hands.

"I believe… this was the last question," I answered, using all of my efforts to break the immersion and returning my concentration to the road ahead.

"For real?"

I nodded, realizing that looking out the window did nothing to clear my head. My brain was still stuck to where I was seconds ago, swimming in the pristine waters of her eyes. This feeling went beyond the ceaseless lust I felt for her body and the undying interest I had for her thoughts. It coursed through me naturally and it didn't burn, it smouldered. I wanted to hold on to it for as long as possible.

"I'm afraid so. But it was fun."

"We've lost some questions along the way," she reminded me.

"Well, I suppose… we could try again. And be a little more careful this time."

"Would you do that? Another round?"

She seemed so enthusiastic all of a sudden, that I would have given anything to keep her mood like this for as long as possible. Inside me, the smouldering kept going, settling into my every tissue.

"I'm starting to think I'd do a questionable amount of things for you, my dear Bella," I confessed, too fired up to care about how my words came across.

She started laughing - the best sound in the world, I decided.

With her laugh filling the small space of the truck, I realized that the smouldering feeling I was holding on to for dear life - whatever it was, whatever it represented - wasn't going anywhere.

It was here to stay.

So... Edward's kind of screwed (not like that, but he wishes), since he can't really fight the incoming feelings.

What did you think about his and Bella's little game?

How long do you think it'll take before they both implode with desire?

Anyone curious to know what Grace meant to Edward?

If you've got any thoughts on this chapter, I'd LOVE to read and respond to them! During these crazy times, nothing makes my day quite like your reviews do.

Stay safe and happy, guys! See you next Sunday! :)