Day 6 — Homecoming

As we walk up the road to my house, Illya tugs at my sleeve.

"Nee, Shirou," she calls out to me.

"Hmm? We're almost there, are you getting tired?"

"No, that's not it. Actually, I was wondering if you are getting tired holding all that shopping."

Oh, I thought she was going to complain about the long walk back, but she's concerned for me?

I smile back at her, wishing I could pat her head if I didn't have to carry all these bags.

"Thanks Illya, but I'm fine. I do our shopping every couple of days, so I'm used to this weight. Sometimes Sakura does the shopping with me though, so I don't always have to carry this much."

"Hmm…I see."

Illya looks like she's deep in thought for a moment, and then cheerfully tugs my sleeve again.

"I'll help out!"

"—Huh?"

What is she saying now?

"Come on Shirou, if you're inviting me to your house the least I can do is have some etiquette, right?" she smiles sweetly as she rummages through the bags in my right hand. "Come on, give me a few bags to carry."

Ah, I know what to do.

"Here, Illya," I say as I stop walking and put down the bags on my right. I hand her the small, light bag of taiyaki originally meant for Saber.

Sorry Saber, I'll make it up to you. I'll give you a very big second helping of meat tonight…!

"Hmm? What's this?"

Illya peers curiously into the bag.

"It's a local snack. I was originally going to give it to Saber, but I'm sure she won't mind. If you help me carry this, it's alright if you eat some of it along the way."

"Hmm…okay! I'll help out!"

She replies in a sing-song voice and takes the bag. She takes out the paper bag inside and shuffles a taiyaki out.

She sniffs it curiously, then holds it in front of her and tilts her head cutely. Then, she brings it to her mouth and takes a small nibble.

"—It's good."

I smile, hearing her murmur of appreciation. For some reason, seeing this snow fairy happy makes me irrationally satisfied.

I pick up the bags on the floor and start to walk again, and Illya follows me by my side happily biting into the snacks.

…Once again I'm shocked by how she's so refined. I notice how every bite her small mouth takes is taken with the care and poise of a young lady. She's clearly in love with the taiyaki, but she still holds control over herself to not wolfishly devour it in one go. Instead, she takes slight nibbles, slowly working her way to the centre of the warm snack, chewing and silently swallowing it all with all the grace of a true noblewoman.

And then as she puts the paper bag to her face again for another bite, a crimson tongue quickly snips across those pale lips of hers in an uncharacteristically unladylike way, snapping up all the crumbs and red bean paste stuck around her mouth.

It all happens in an instant, this curiously childish motion, and then it's over and she's back to gracefully working on the next bite.

I blink.

What am I doing, looking so intensely at her like this? If anyone saw us out here as a pair, they'd probably see me as a dangerous person.

And I am most definitely not into small girls. Nope.

It feels like it's an eternity until I can force my eyes away from Illya, and when I do so I see that we've almost reached the household already.

She's also clearly aware of this, as her attention has now shifted away from the warm snack in her hands to the wide open doors of the Emiya household on the side of the road.

I smile down warmly at her, and nod in encouragement.

"Let's go," I say as I walk in through the entrance. "Welcome to the Emiya residence."

She follows a split second later, her movements turning mechanical but her small strides keeping pace with mine.

And as she steps through the entrance into the courtyard, I can see all the emotions running through her. There's fear, anger, frustration etched across her face, but there's also a clear sadness and a tinge of relief.

Her eyes weave around the various structures in the residence, going from the main house to the outbuilding down the side, then to the shed on the far right.

Hmm, maybe we should start from there.

"Say, Illya. Are you interested in the storage shed over there?"

"…Huh? It's a storage shed? Then no, of course not. That's for servants to deal with, yuck!"

Ahem, Lady Einzbern.

"I-It's not that bad…I think. Besides, it's technically my workshop too. Aren't you curious about that at least?"

She perks up on hearing the word "workshop". There we go, the typical magi response. Now I just need the finishing touch.

"I'll need to put this shopping into the fridge, so I'll leave you be in there for a minute. You can mess around with everything in there, I don't mind."

That should sweeten the deal.

"Alright, let's go!"

There we go! Now I can go and confront Saber safely without having my head flying off.

Hopefully.

We walk to the shed door, and I put down my bags to retrieve my key from my pocket. The door opens with a click and I guide her in.

"—This is…"

She mutters to herself as she looks around the piles of junk.

Her eyes roam around curiously until they settle on the faded magic circle in the centre of the room.

"—Ah."

"Right, this is where I summoned Saber a few nights ago. I guess I was lucky the magic circle was there, but to be honest I'm not even sure what it does. It's always been here since I first moved in with the old man…"

I trail off as Illya is clearly not listening to me. She is so absorbed, staring at the magic circle with wide open eyes. Her grip on the bag of taiyaki has also slackened.

Hmm, then in that case this is a good time to go and solve the Saber situation.

"I'll just head over to the main house now. I'll leave you here for a moment, but I'll be back soon. Is that alright? Illya?"

I finally get a response from calling out her name. She turns gingerly to me, her expression unreadable, and she nods curtly.

"Alright, see you in a bit!"

As I walk out the shed, and pause just to grab the bags off the ground, I hear an almost silent whisper behind me, so quiet that if there was a stronger gust of wind blowing, I would've thought it was my imagination.

"…I'm home, Mama."

"I'm home, Saber!"

I say as I walk in through the door. I walk down the corridor and into the living room, and the blonde Servant is sitting at the table elegantly, looking up at me with a slight smile.

"Welcome back, Shirou. Did you have a good day at school?"

"Yeah, I got to talk to Tohsaka about a couple of things. I'll update you on the information she gave me, it's regarding the Servant at Ryuudo Temple," I notify her as I walk across the room and open the fridge door. "In any case, I think we're going to be very busy tonight so we can make up for yesterday. By the way, where's Fuji-nee and Sakura?"

"Sakura's still recovering in her room. I hear her fever's mostly gone, but Taiga wants to make sure she's not taking any unnecessary risks, so she's made her promise to stay in the room for the rest of today. I think she's asleep right now."

"That's good to hear, I've bought some fresh tuna as well, so I'll make fish soup for her tonight so she can recover faster. What about Fuji-nee?"

"She said she's gone over to the school to pick up one some work. Apparently she got a call saying that her replacement wasn't around either today. She should be back before the evening though."

Hmm, that's right. Kuzuki-sensei wasn't around today either. What a weird coincidence.

"That's fine then," I reply as I finish storing the food and close the fridge door. I walk over to Saber and hesitantly open my mouth. "So listen Saber, I've…got something to tell you."

"Is this about heading to Ryuudo Temple tonight? If so, it can wait until later—"

"No, this is another thing. You see…"

I tell her I've invited the Einzbern Master into our house, and left her all alone in my workshop.

"—"

Her expression reminds me of Tohsaka's earlier today.

"—Shirou."

"— —! S-Saber, I understand how you feel, I know what you want to say. You want to tell me it's suicidal to invite Berserker's Master into our house, right? No no, I completely understand what you're saying, I really do. But if we could please put that fact aside for the moment—"

"—Shirou! You do not understand what you've done! This is Illyasviel we're talking about! She attacked you on the first night and has made it clear what her goals are! Furthermore, a Master of her calibre would easily take down our weak defences and boundary fields if she wants to! This is not just inviting the enemy into your house, this is deliberately sabotaging your own position…!"

"N-No, I'm sure she wouldn't, really. We're on good terms right now, and she's promised to behave when the sun is up…."

My voice comes out as a squeak.

"—Furthermore!"

"Eek—"

"You invited her to your workshop? How careless can you be? I know you are an amateur magus without much pride or experience, but surely you can understand the folly of leaving the enemy alone with your innermost secrets, in the middle of a fight to the death too!"

"B-But Illya is a good girl. She's just a young girl right now, p-please don't get so angry over something so small like this…"

The knight draws in closer to me, her indignation written across her face.

"Her gender does not matter! In fact, wait a minute…!"

She draws in even closer.

"Since when have you called her 'Illya'? What have you been doing with Illyasviel behind my back? Don't tell me you've been meeting with her again, especially after my warning last night—?! Are you actually showing genuine concern for her well-being?"

"I-Illya's a really good girl once you get to know her. She's just a bit sadistic sometimes, but that's more childish innocence than anything, really. We just have to teach her what's good and what's bad…"

"This is going beyond being good-natured, Shirou! This is plain stupidity and suicidal behaviour! Her family exists only to obtain the Holy Grail. Are you taking her at her word? She will use you, then break her promises easily when it's convenient! She's just a tool created to win them this War—!"

"..!"

For some reason, I suddenly feel heated about what she said, and I find my voice again.

"T-That's going a bit far, Saber. Illya is genuinely a good girl. I don't know what you've experienced with the Einzberns before, but please don't treat her like she's one of them!"

"—!"

Her angry expression turns into one of shock.

"— — —"

And as realisation dawns on her face, she looks away in shame.

"—No, you are correct, Shirou. What you say is true. I leapt to conclusions too quickly."

'—! Saber, then…"

"Well, you weren't very convincing when you were debating with me in such a quiet voice."

Umm. Well, Saber was very mad, and it's completely my fault anyway…

"…I understand. If I continued to protest, you would likely do something stupid like waste a Command Seal on this. I shall trust your judgment, Shirou."

"Saber…!"

"However—!"

Eek.

"While I would normally decide to not see her and stay in my room so both of us can remain composed, you let her into your workshop. As your Servant, I must accompany you and serve as your shield just in case."

"Y-Yeah, you're right. Let's do that, Saber."

She looks away in shame, mulling over what must be painful memories for her.

That's right. Saber was my father's Servant in the last War. It is only natural she knows about Kiritsugu's relationship with the Einzberns…

…As well as his relationship with Illya.

The whisper I overheard just now puts all doubt out of my mind.

I cannot run from the truth anymore.

"I'm sorry, Saber. But this is something I have to do."

"I understand. I am the one who told you about Kiritsugu and his role in the Holy Grail War. I should have been prepared for you to take this move."

Saber lets out a long sigh and starts walking out the room. She turns around at me, still rooted to the ground.

"Let's go, Shirou. Let's not keep Illyasviel waiting too long."

Mmm. Right.

I nod and follow her out the house.

We walk in through the storage shed entrance, and I notice that Illya has crouched down next to the magic circle, huddling into a small ball of purple.

"I'm back, Illya. I've also brought Saber if you don't mind…"

"…Shirou?"

She turns around to look at me, and my mind blanks out.

I can see tears silently trickling down her pale cheeks, her red eyes wide open as if unbelieving of the emotion she is showing.

Her eyes fall onto the blonde by my side, and she smiles softly.

She pushes herself up shakily and does a little curtsey, her tears starting to dry up.

"I'm sorry you have to see me in this state, Servant Saber. Let me introduce myself again. I am Illyasviel von Einzbern."

"—"

"I'm pleased to see you've recovered from your wounds. Thank you for allowing me into your Master's home."

"—No, I am merely following my Master's wishes. It is not my place to go against his judgment. I am Servant Saber, sworn sword and shield of my Master for the duration of this War. It is good to finally greet you properly, Illyasviel."

Illya raises her head and nods. She turns to me and smiles weakly.

"Sorry Shirou, I'm just a bit tired. Do you mind if I rest in here for a while?"

"Of course! Saber, could you please fetch us some tea and snacks? I'll make the place more comfortable for Illya in the meantime."

"Roger. I'll make some English tea if you don't mind. I'm still not familiar with the tea leaves from this country."

"That would be great, thanks a lot."

Saber leaves us, and Illya slowly sits down on the ground, her legs sprawled in front of her. Like a puppet whose strings were cut, she then flops onto the floor in exhaustion.

I walk over and sit down next to her without a word.

There's no need for words from me. I don't have anything I can say, so I wait for her instead.

"…There's nobody left."

"….Huh?"

I glance at her and suddenly I see her as if she's finally acting her age, a young girl no older than ten.

"…I came here all the way to take revenge. But the person I want to take revenge on is no longer here."

The girl I am watching now is Illya. Not Illyasviel von Einzbern, the strongest Master. Just Illya, the young girl who came all the way to Japan to take revenge on the person who no doubt made her life a living hell. The young girl whose future was taken away by me.

The young girl who, in a different life, could have been my younger sister.

The tears start flowing again from her eyes. She shifts her head, looking over at me.

"Huh? That's strange. I think I'm crying. But there was nothing sad or scary…"

"…"

No, there is. There is something sad. There's no one in this house. She doesn't have to walk around the place to know.

The target she has a grudge against. Emiya Kiritsugu.

He's been gone for years. Her only goal was to kill him, but she's missed that chance by a magnitude of years.

That chance to kill him has been forever lost.

To Illyasviel von Einzbern, this fact that she should've known long ago shakes her to her very core.

But it is likely she has never dared to accept this until now. Accepting this fact would deny her very reason for living.

Illyasviel von Einzbern was created to win the Holy Grail War, but her personal goal was never that.

But now she's lost even that motivation. What does she have left remaining in that small, fragile heart?

I sigh and lie down half a metre away from her, both of us on each side of the magic circle. I turn my head around to meet her eyes.

I'm sorry, Kiritsugu. I cannot agree with what you've done.

But what I can do is pick up the broken pieces.

I will put this fractured family back together again.

"'When I was young, I wanted to be an ally of justice.'"

"—Huh?"

"The day he passed away, Kiritsugu said this to me."

I look into her red eyes, but what I see at the back of my mind is the old story from a winter five years ago.

The night with the beautiful moon, the beautiful silver moon.

"The old man was a superhero in my eyes. When he said he 'wanted' to be an ally of justice, I grew frustrated. What did he mean by 'wanted'? Did he give up?"

I can still remember his soft laughter, his tired eyes looking up at the sky.

"'Yes, unfortunately. Being an ally of justice is a time-limited thing, and it becomes hard to call yourself that when you grow up. I wish I'd found that earlier. It can't be helped.' I agreed with that. I don't know why I did, but I felt it couldn't be wrong if he said so. But that's why I said it to him."

"...?"

"I told him. 'I'll take your place. I'll make it come true.'"

"…!"

"He looked at me, laughed, and said 'Yeah— — —I'm relieved.' And quietly closed his eyes for the last time."

"…Shirou."

"That night, I could not stop crying. There was nothing sad or scary either that night, Illya. But my tears wouldn't stop until the moon sunk."

That was the starting point of my path. This is one of the crucial pieces I need to give her. And another is…

"Did you know? The many years before he passed away, he grew weaker and weaker. I could see his body breaking down. But there was one thing he would always do, until his body gave out on him at the very end."

I look intensely into her eyes.

"He would always go overseas, looking for something. The fire in his eyes never died until his final months. He never gave up. He never forgot. He took many trips, some long and some short. He would always come back and take a break, but he would always be out on the next boat ride as soon as he recovered. As much as he didn't want to admit it, deep down he still was the hero I looked up to. I don't agree with his actions, and if he was still around I would scream at him for it. But…"

I prepare myself.

"…But he never stopped trying to fix his mistakes, and atone for it all. That's the kind of person my father was."

I take a deep breath.

"—Our father was."

Red irises widen in amazement, before the eyelids close over them, tears still flowing freely.

For the first time in ten years, for the first time since the fire that started it all, I feel something return to me. A small, weak light shining through that makes my eyes water.

Before I know it, the smallest of droplets fall from my eye, dropping silently onto the gravelly floor.

"I know it's ten years too late, but I have to do this."

A weak, feminine voice answers.

"…A duty as Kiritsugu's son?

"…Yes. But it's not just that. I like you, Illya. I like spending time with you. If you have room in your heart to allow me, I want to support you. I cannot ask you for your forgiveness, and I won't. But what I can do is offer everything I have to help you from now on."

And I say it, the words tumbling out my mouth before I can even think properly.

"Please let me be your older brother."

Her eyes remain tightly shut, her expression twisted in sorrow and regret as her body heaves with her muffled sobs.

I cannot blame her if she decides to reject me completely. The wounds have festered for too long, and the gears have long since rusted into uselessness. I brace myself for rightful rage at what I know all too clearly is my selfish self-indulging wish.

—But.

"…Okay, onii-chan."

The cracks born from point zero begin to mend, and the gears of fate finally start to turn after ten long years.

And as the red eyes open once more, what I see is acceptance and warmth.

And for the first time since our meeting three nights ago—

Hope.