A/N: Look at that. I managed a chapter.

The smells of my childhood hit me as I opened the front door to my grandmother's house. Ropa vieja had been my grandfather's favorite meal and we had eaten it weekly during the years I'd lived with them. I could hear Stella talking but didn't see anyone in the living room. They were probably in the kitchen, which was where people gathered whenever they visited. I headed to the kitchen to find Stella coloring at the table and talking to Rachel. Julie was sitting opposite Stella engrossed in her phone.

"Hi, Daddy! Julie came to see me!" Stella exclaimed, pointing excitedly as the teenager who was clearly uninterested in her. Julie's head whipped around to look at me, the look on her face telling me she had expected to be gone before I showed up. She gave both her mother and my grandmother exasperated looks.

"We thought it would be good to have dinner tog-," Rachel began, but Julie leapt up from the table and pushed passed me in the doorway. We heard the front door slam seconds later.

Rachel let out a sigh and leaned her head back against the wall. "Have I mentioned lately how much I hate teenagers?"

"Only once or twice in the last hour," my grandmother commented, not seemingly too concerned about her great-granddaughter's dramatic exit.

"I've tried to talk to her, explain why this is so different," Rachel told me. "But she won't listen to me. The last two times I tried she did just this—stormed off and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day."

"I'll see if I can do any good," I told her. "I don't think I can make it all any worse."

I found Julie sitting in the passenger seat of the van, looking down at her phone. I climbed into the driver's seat and hit the locks as Julie reached for the door handle.

"Enough," I said firmly. It was the tone I usually reserved for my employees when they fucked up. I had never used it with Julie, and it took her by surprise.

"I'm not going to apologize for being in Stella's life," I said, holding up a hand when she opened her mouth to retort. "You have three parents. If something happens to one of us, you have two other people to help you. I didn't even know Stella existed when Stephanie nearly died in an accident. She needed me, and I was going to be there for her. Just like I was there for you when you were kidnapped."

I wasn't sure if it was something parenting experts would have recommended, and maybe it was petty, but I felt the need to remind Julie that I had nearly died trying to save her from a lunatic.

"I know I wasn't around much when you were her age and I don't blame you for being angry about that, but we've gotten to know each other better the last few years. I've liked that, and I would like it to continue. But I'm not going to force it. You're old enough to decide if you want me in your life. I'm not going to stop being Stella's father and taking care of her just because you're mad at me. I love her, just like I love you. And I won't stop loving you even if you decide to never speak to me again."

Julie had been looking out the passenger window after I cut her off, giving no acknowledgement that she heard anything I was saying. I gave her a minute to say or do something, but she sat like a statue.

"We're going to be inside having dinner. You can either sit out here and miss out on Abuela's ropa vieja or you can come in and join the rest of us," I said as I climbed out of the vehicle. I didn't look back as I went into the house. I loved her, but I also knew what it was like to be an angry teenager. Adults trying to talk to you too much didn't make anything better. It just made you hate them more.

Rachel raised her eyebrows at me once I reentered the kitchen. I gave a shrug. "I did my best. I guess we'll see what happens."

I brought my grandmother and Rachel up to speed on Stephanie's condition while dinner finished simmering. We were three bites into the meal when Julie came back inside. She didn't say anything but helped herself to food. She was silent the entire meal but did talk to Stella about the pictures she had drawn while Rachel and I helped my grandmother clean up. We lingered for a few minutes while the girls continued to talk, but eventually the conversation fell off and I took the opportunity to pack Stella up. Julie said goodbye to her and promised that they would go the beach together someday. She didn't say anything to me but did give me a hug as I left. It wasn't exactly what her mother wanted, but I knew it was a start.

The rest of the week in Miami was uneventful. Stephanie was released from the hospital and sent back to the rehabilitation center on Friday. Stella was finally able to talk to her that day, which made them both happy. Stephanie seemed more like herself again, which was a relief. I hoped it meant we could have a more realistic conversation about the future and that I could persuade her to come back home.

I had intended to go out to the rehab center on Monday evening after we got back, but our plane had been delayed and Stella had been cranky the last half hour on the plane, so we went out on Tuesday after I picked her up from daycare. Stephanie was sitting up in a chair and doing what looked to be a word search when we arrived. She smiled when she saw Stella and they hugged and talked for twenty minutes. Stephanie wasn't completely better, but she was getting there.

"Mommy and Daddy need to talk, so why don't you go sit on my bed and look at your books," Stephanie suggested. Stella didn't argue and dumped her entire bag out on the bed looking for what she wanted.

"The doctor said that if I can work hard at my therapies, I might be able to go back home at the end of next month. Then I'll do all my therapy outpatient," Stephanie told me in a quiet voice once Stella's attention was lost in one of her favorite books.

"That's great," I replied. But Stephanie's expression was serious, and it was clear to me that the conversation was headed in a direction I wouldn't like.

"It is," she agreed. "But it also means that I'll be home and can take care of Stella. Katie will help me until I can start driving again. I'll keep her in school and daycare. That will help with my therapy schedule."

A sign escaped me before I could stop it. She clearly had no intentions of coming home. "Is there nothing I can say or do to get you back to Trenton?"

Stephanie shook her head. "I'm not coming back. I'm not going to change my mind."

"I had hoped you would, but on the chance that you wouldn't I've been looking around at houses. There are couple for sale right now in your neighborhood," I told her. "I was thinking I could work from here and go to the offices when I'm needed. I've gotten the routine figured out pretty well. And I'd be just around the corner so I could help out with Stella every day."

"No," Stephanie said, almost immediately after I stopped talking. "That's what I was going to tell you next. I know there will be an adjustment period when I get back, so you can stay with us for the first two weeks. But then you need to go home to Trenton so that Stella and I can get used to being on our own again."

I felt a chill go down my spine and I immediately looked over at Stella, who was on her second or third "read through" of her book. "But you aren't on your own anymore. I'm here. I can help with Stella. I'm not going to pressure you to be with me, if that's what you're worried about."

Stephanie looked down at the table in front of her and ran a finger over a small ridge. "I don't want you here, Ranger. My life was pretty good without you. I'm not saying you won't get to see Stella. But she needs to get used to being with just me again. She needs to accept that you'll be around on occasion, not every day. So we're going to need time apart from you. A couple of months, at least."

"A couple of months?" I asked incredulously. "I've been with her constantly since Thanksgiving and now you're going to take her away from me for months on end. No, that's not happening, Stephanie."

I felt anxiety rising in my chest and did my best not to let it show. What the hell was she thinking? I couldn't do it. The idea of being apart from Stella for more than a few days was almost unfathomable and now Stephanie was suggesting months.

"I'm not going to let you keep me out of her life. Not again, Stephanie. Technically I have physical custody of her right now. I'll take you to court again if you make me. You can't stop me from living in Indiana and seeing her regularly," I told her. My voice had gotten louder and my speech more rapid. I was panicking. I took a few deep breaths to get myself under control.

"I'm not saying you can't see her," Stephanie said, her voice cracking slightly. "I'm just saying we need some space at first. We'll figure out a plan. You can come see her and you can take her back to Trenton with you. Please, Ranger. Please don't fight me on this."

I didn't know what else to say, so I stood up and started collecting Stella's belongings. "Time to go, baby."

Stella told Stephanie goodbye and then we left without a backwards glance. I was scared, angry, and confused. Katie had told me she didn't think Stephanie had gotten over me, that it had been part of the reason she hadn't wanted to tell me about Stella. But now I was getting pushed out of the picture. I had a hard time believing Stephanie was interested in having me be a regular part of Stella's life. She probably hoped I would get back to Trenton, into my old routine, and not have the time or inclination to fly out to Indiana regularly. But Katie had also said that Stephanie had struggled with how close Stella and I had gotten while she had been in the hospital.

I took Stella home and got her fed, bathed, and ready for bed, and tried to imagine not doing this daily. Parenthood had become such a natural part of my life in the last few months that it somehow shocked me that I had ever lived any other way. And it also made me feel guilty about Julie. When she had been small, I had thought there was no way in hell I could ever be a father and do the bath time and bedtime and kiss skinned knees stuff. I had thought myself too badass for that. I had been an Army Ranger. I'd survived torture, killed terrorists, and gotten in and out of places that most people had never known existed, but here I was dying for the chance to read Love You Forever to a three-year-old every night.

Once Stella was tucked in and asleep, I texted Katie to ask if she could come over. I needed to talk to someone about this and she was my best option. I didn't know what to do. She walked in the front door less than five minutes after I texted wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt that advertised Nashville, Tennessee.

"What's going on?" Katie asked. "Is something wrong with Stella?"

"No. I need to talk to you about Stephanie," I called from the kitchen. I held up a beer for her to see and she nodded. I grabbed a second and went back to the living room.

"She told me today that she might get to come home at the end of next month, but that once she does, I have two weeks here to help her and Stella get adjusted, then I'm expected to go back to Trenton and not visit for a while," I informed her as I handed her the opened beer.

Katie heaved an annoyed sigh and took a long drag of the bottle. "I can't deal with her. She has gotten it into her head that she needs to come home and do it all on her own again. I told her it doesn't have to be that way now that you know about Stella. You two have done great together the last few months. I think the problem is that things didn't go exactly how Stephanie thought they would, so she's trying to pull back on it."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She had it planned on how she would tell you about Stella, then how you would meet her and all of that," Katie replied. "She expected to be the main caregiver and parent. I don't think she expected you to want to be very involved, nor did she believe you could do as good of a job as you have. After everything that happened with the accident, I think she's just desperate to feel like she is in control of her life."

"And she gets that by punishing Stella and me?"

"I'm not saying it's the best solution," Katie said, taking another swig of beer. "But for her it feels like it. I'll talk to her about it, see if I can't get her to come around."

I shook my head. "You don't need to do that. I'm not trying to put you in the middle of it, just trying to figure out what the hell she's thinking. I even told her I'm not going to push her to be with me, if that's what she was worried about. But I think she just wants me out of the picture again."

"She has never gotten over you. I think she's worried that if you are around so much that she won't be able to stop those feelings from taking over."

"And why is that a problem?" I asked. "I told her I'm willing to live here if she isn't willing to move back. I promised not to pressure her into being with me if that's what is worrying her." I felt an embarrassing lump start to form in my throat. "The truth is I would give her everything there was if it meant we could be together. I still love her, even though I've been angry with her. We both grew up with happily married parents and I would like to give that to Stella."

Katie and I sat quietly for a minute while both of us worked on our beers. I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't look back. I wasn't used to baring my soul like to this anyone.

"You need to tell her that," Katie said as she finished her beer. "I think she needs to hear you saying those things to her to believe them. She told me that she always felt like she was the one more invested in your relationship and the person most in love. I think that's probably why she's pushing you away. She's vulnerable right now, and if she thinks nothing is different with you then she isn't going to want you around."

I thanked Katie for the talk, and she left a few minutes later, leaving me with a lot to think about. I knew she was right that I needed to be more straightforward with Stephanie about my feelings. The idea that she was more in love with me than I was with her felt laughable. Maybe I didn't say it as often as she did, but for me she was the only woman in the world that could reach parts of me that I had long closed off. Looking back, I wasn't sure if I'd ever truly been in love before her. And I sure as hell hadn't loved anyone since. But how was she to know those things when I never told them to her? How many times during that year of an actual relationship had I said I love you? Probably not even a tenth of the times she had said it. And it wasn't just those words that I needed to say to her. It was more than that.

I ultimately decided not to say anything to Stephanie right away. It didn't feel like the right time, and I also needed time to figure out what I was going to say to her. I had to make it clear to her just how I felt about her and finding the right words to say it wasn't one of my skills.

Her antidepressants and the ongoing counseling she received had been just what Stephanie needed to push through the last part of her inpatient rehabilitation, because by the last week of April there were plans being made for her to come home. I had someone come to the house to install a handrail on her steps outside and grab bars in the bathroom. She was still using a cane, so Katie helped me to arrange the house to give her more space to maneuver. She would continue to have outpatient physical and occupational therapy for a while longer to continue building her skills to get her as close to her pre-accident normal as possible. Transportation was arranged to get her back and forth from sessions, and Stella began riding the daycare's bus that would pick the children up and bring them home each day at their designated times. Stephanie had wanted Stella to come home earlier, but Katie had convinced her to let her stay until five so that she would be used to the routine once Stephanie got back to work. The unspoken part of that was the concern over whether Stephanie would ever be able to return to her job. She was doing well, but her ability to focus and impulse control weren't the same as before. Granted, her impulse control had never been great, but it was worse now. She got frustrated more easily and spoke her mind without much thought for how it may sound. Katie said it was like she had developed ADHD and said that she might be prescribed a stimulant to help with these issues.

Stephanie's official discharge date was April 30th. The rehab center had a bell that people rang when they'd completed their treatment and were being discharged. She was excited to be leaving, but I knew she was apprehensive as well. It would be the first time she had been home since Thanksgiving and she would be at home with me all day for the next two weeks. She had continued to insist that I needed to leave after that so she could get used to doing things on her own. She had at least stopped trying to make it so much about Stella being used to my absence, but it still stung.

Stella and Katie had been waiting for us at home when I pulled into the drive. Stephanie was able to get up the steps into the house with my assistance and using the handrail. Stella immediately put the cat into her lap when she sat down on the couch.

"He gotten so big," she observed when she started to pet him. Boston probably didn't remember her very well, so he was busy giving her the side eye for a few minutes before relaxing.

Stella sat on the couch with Stephanie all afternoon, bringing her different books to read and showing toys she had gotten for Christmas. I took the opportunity to spend some time in the office working while Katie unpacked Stephanie's bags and visited with her in the living room. I had moved my belongings out of Stephanie's bedroom and into the office that morning before I picked her up.

We ordered pizza from Stephanie's favorite restaurant for dinner that night and I took care of Stella's bath, but Stephanie asked to do the bedtime routine. We hadn't spoken much directly all day. Katie had been there until after dinner, acting as a buffer for the awkwardness. It had been different to visit Stephanie at the hospital or the rehab center than in her own home. I took the opportunity to get my own shower done and get the couch pulled out in the office while Stephanie got Stella to sleep. I heard her cane in the hall as I put sheets on the bed and looked up to find her standing in the doorway.

"My office looks a lot different," she commented.

"I'll put it back like it was before I leave," I told her. "But you can keep the couch."

She didn't say anything else until I was finished with the bed. "Thanks for doing all of this," she said. "These last few months would have been a lot harder without you around."

"Then why are you pushing me away?" I hadn't meant to say it out loud, but there it was. Some of Stephanie's poor impulse control had rubbed off on me.

"I've told you that I need to get back to doing things on my own," she said, sounding tired. She walked into the room and sat down on the bed. "I had things under control before the accident. We had a good life, and we can have it again."

"But not with me around."

Stephanie sighed and rubbed her face with both hands. "You're needed back in Trenton. You have a lot of responsibilities other than Stella, and I know you've delegated some of them onto other people, but they aren't going to want to do these things forever. You need to get back to your life. We'll Facetime with you every night, and we'll work out a way for you to visit and take her back home sometimes."

I took a minute to figure out what I needed to say without pissing her off. "Why is that Stella is considered your life and responsibility, but not mine? I've been here every day, taking care of her, doing both my professional job and my personal one for half a year. I've loved it, Stephanie. I never thought I would, but I do. I can be a business owner and a father. Haven't I proven that?"

Stephanie played with the hem of her shirt as she listened, and I could tell I was getting to her.

"You have made a lot of sacrifices to be here," she began. "I know that and appreciate it. But it's not who you are. You're a workaholic, Ranger. You stop long enough to eat, exercise, have sex, but then you're right back at it until you go to bed. Sometimes you don't even bother with sleep until you've done what you needed to do. You've been able to temporarily put some of that aside because you were all Stella had, but now that I'm home it will be easier for you to get back into those habits. It would be harder on Stella to have you here, but never see you because you're always busy working than to know you're away but have your full attention when you are with her."

I sat down on the other side of the bed and faced her. "You don't get it, Stephanie. I worked all the time because I had nothing else to do. I had nothing else to fill my time or attention, so I threw myself into my job. But now I have a reason not to do that. I can work because I have responsibilities to my employees and my customers but cut it off at the end of the day because I have something fulfilling at home."

Stephanie gave me a frustrated look. "What the hell was I? I was there and you still worked all the time."

"That was different. You had a job as well. Friends, family, other things you wanted to do that didn't always involve me. But when you were home, I was there."

"Long enough to eat dinner with me, have sex, maybe watch a little tv, but you made me feel like I was an inconvenience getting in the way of your work. There was never a night when you came up from your office and didn't do any sort of work the rest of the night in the year that we lived together. How am I supposed to believe you can change when you've made it clear that you aren't willing?"

Anger flared up in me, pushing down the pain of her telling me that she felt like an inconvenience when we were together. "I'm not willing to change? I've changed a whole fucking lot in the last six months. If I hadn't been willing to change, I would have left my mother here or hired a nanny to stay full-time with Stella while I went back to Trenton. I know I messed up when we were together, and I'm sorry. I can't change the past but if you'd give me a chance, I could show you that the future would be different. I love you, Stephanie. I never stopped. When you left—," my voice broke slightly, and I cleared my throat before continuing. "It broke my heart. Because you are the best thing I've ever had in my life."

It wasn't exactly how I had wanted to tell her how I felt, but sometimes you just go with the flow.

Tears fell down Stephanie's cheeks and she wiped them away angrily. "Well, you could have fooled me," she said, getting up and leaving the room without a look back. I heard her go into her bedroom and shut the door. I fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes. I was good at a lot of things but talking about my emotions would never be one of them.

The next two weeks were somewhat awkward as Stephanie worked on getting settled into a routine with Stella. We hadn't talked about anything deeper than what Stella wanted for dinner since that conversation on her first night home. Three days before I was due to leave, we sat down with Stella and told her I would be going back to New Jersey. She didn't understand why I had to leave. Neither did I, but I couldn't really tell her that without throwing Stephanie under the bus. Part of me wanted to, but I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. She cried and begged me to stay. She offered me her toddler bed, the office couch, Katie's spare bedroom, even Stephanie's bed. I didn't know what to say since it wasn't my idea to leave. I just hugged her, told her we would talk on Facetime every day and figure out when we'd see each other. Consequently, she wouldn't let me out of her sight over the next three days, following me into the office as I worked or started packing. She sat outside the bathroom door anytime I was in there. She cried when she was leaving for preschool because she was scared I wouldn't be there when she got home. It was miserable, and it made me even angrier at Stephanie than I already had been. Didn't she see what she was doing? That her determination to send me back to Trenton wasn't just punishing me, but our daughter as well?

I opened my eyes on my last morning at Stephanie's house to find Stella sleeping next to me. There had already been a knot in my chest and seeing her there next to me just made it tighter. I took a few deep breaths to pull myself together and got up to start the day. It was five in the morning and still dark outside. I showered and dressed quickly so that I could start loading boxes and suitcases into my car. I had a long trip ahead of me, so I wanted to get started early. I had debated about flying home and having my car shipped back, but it felt like I was going to need those eleven hours on my own to figure myself out. By the time I had the car loaded in a way that allowed me to still see out the back window and have room to drive, Stella was up and ready for breakfast. Stephanie had coffee brewing and was making eggs, bacon, and toast.

"Please don't go, Daddy" were Stella's first words when she saw me. They nearly killed me. I glanced over at Stephanie, who looked like she was feeling very guilty right now. Good.

"I wish it could be different," I told her for probably the twentieth time in three days. "But we'll figure it out."

No one talked much over breakfast. Even the cat seemed sad. He laid at my feet, not purring, but resting his head on my shoe.

Saying goodbye was even harder than I expected. Katie had come over a few minutes before I left and found Stella sobbed uncontrollably and clinging to me like she was afraid of falling. I felt tears fall down my cheeks and into her hair. I didn't try to stop them.

"I'm going to miss you so much," I told her. "But we'll see each other every day on the phone. And then sometime soon I'll come out to visit again."

"How many days is that?" Stella asked, another one of her frequent questions.

"I don't know yet. But as soon as I do, I'll tell you and we'll countdown," I promised. I kissed her cheek and put her down on the ground, kneeling in front of her. "I love you. Be good for Mommy and Katie."

Stella nodded while she continued to cry. All I wanted to do was pick her up and hold her more, but I knew it wouldn't help. I needed to get going for both of our sakes.

I headed outside to the car with Katie, Stephanie and Stella following. "I'll talk to you tonight at seven," I told Stella. Katie had picked her up and was holding her. She had her face buried in Katie's neck, but a muffled "okay" came out.

I waved goodbye and headed to the car. I heard Stephanie call out for me, but I didn't turn around.

"I hope you're happy," I told her as I climbed into the car and shut the door. I didn't look back up at the porch as I pulled out of the driveway. It was killing me to see Stella so upset, and the sight of Stephanie in that moment was just pissing me off.

I reached the stop sign at the entrance of Stephanie's neighborhood and took a minute to pull myself together. I called Tank as I headed towards the interstate to tell him my estimated time of arrival and that I planned to take Sunday off to get situated. He didn't have to ask how I was doing. When I had told him about Stephanie's demands that I give her and Stella space to get back into their old life, he admitted that he had been wrong about me being able to be a father. He knew it was hard for me to leave Stella. He wasn't going to give me shit about it anymore.

As I came up on exits for Lima, Ohio I finally thought back to Stephanie. I shouldn't have just walked away without telling her goodbye. I had known this day was coming for weeks. I should have been better prepared for it. As frustrated as I was to be sent away, I still loved her. I still had hope that maybe someday we could work things out between us and be a family with our daughter. I punched in her number, but after ringing several times it went to voicemail. I looked at the clock and realized she was probably out with Katie. They had decided to take Stella to the Fort Wayne Zoo for the day to get her mind off me leaving. I decided to just leave a message. It was probably better than a live conversation anyway.

"Hey. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. I'm just hurt right now. It was hard to leave her. And you. As pissed off as I am at you right now, I still love you, babe. I still want to be with you, and I'm hoping that maybe someday it can happen. Please don't hesitate to call me if you need something. Anything. Whatever you need it, I'll make it happen. Take care yourself."

I had hoped to get some sort of text or call back from Stephanie throughout the day, but nothing ever came. I was just outside of Harrisburg when Stephanie's call on Facetime came through. I had been anticipating it, so I had stopped at a rest area on the interstate. Stella's face appeared when I answered the call.

"Hi, Daddy!" she said cheerfully when she saw me. "I went to the zoo today."

She spent the next fifteen minutes telling me all about the lions and elephants she saw at the zoo. She asked me if I was home yet, whether Fish Tank would be there, and if I knew yet how many days it would be until I came back. The call lasted about twenty minutes before we had to say goodbye. She started to cry again, but I could hear Stephanie trying to distract her by promising they'd have a special snack once we hung up. Stella said goodbye and while I had been anticipating that Stephanie would acknowledge me or the message I had left earlier in the day, she didn't do either and ended the call without ever being on camera. I tried not to read too much into it, but something in my gut told me that Stephanie hadn't just been busy trying to settle Stella down. She had been intentionally avoiding me.

It was just after nine when I pulled into the Rangeman garage. Louis appeared a minute later with a cart for the boxes and suitcases. He helped me get everything upstairs to my apartment where Ella had been working to get everything ready.

"Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?" she asked once Louis had unloaded everything and left the apartment with the cart. I shook my head.

"Thanks, Ella. I'm just going to bed. It was long day."

She gave me a sad smile and patted my arm as she walked by. "Good night."

I walked around the apartment for a minute, trying to reacclimate myself to the quiet, sterile environment. It used to be a perfectly nice place to come after a long day of work. Now it felt as unfamiliar and uninviting as a hotel room in a strange city. I opened by work bag and pulled out a couple of pictures Stella had drawn for me before I left. I put one on my refrigerator door and taped another one in my apartment office. I pulled out a framed photo I had of her and put it on my nightstand. I had another one for my office downstairs. I had never once had personal touches anywhere in my apartment or office. But I needed them now.