Major smut...
Hard, sick, twisted Smut...
You've been warned...
~~Faith's Perspective~~
Being with Ryan always felt right. But I'm not naive to think that I could be the one to capture him in any way other than between my legs. And aside from that, knowing that I haven't heard from John has instilled enough fear to make me distracted. He would have contacted me by now. He's planning something and I know that I need to tell Ryan about him and everything I know before he finds out through someone else, namely John.
It could help him in some way. But my fear drowns out my logic. I can't seem to shake it off. The rejection, the denial. What if he doesn't believe me and I look like a nutcase? What if John manipulates everything and has me sent to a nuthouse? Honestly I wouldn't put it past him.
We pull up to the clubhouse and this time it looks different. There a couple of kids running around and women dressed in a way that they weren't the night I came here. Both times.
I clutched the duffel bag I packed up from my dorm, filled with anything I need to last me a week like Ryan had apparently instructed via Slim and Fluff.
"Faith, Follow us..." Fluff demands, opening the car door.
"Fluff, she's here, we don't have to order her where to go... Mission is done, she's safe and back on home soil..." Slim says.
Fluff punches him in the arm. "She isn't like the rest of them..." Fluff said.
"Obviously..." Slim said shaking his head.
I roll my eyes, yanking my duffel bag over my shoulder and kicking the door closed, leaving them to argue in the car. Idiots.
Pulling out my phone while making my way to the house, I hit dial on Jenn. I feel bad that I haven't texted her since everything started hitting off with Ryan. She doesn't answer, which probably only means she's in the middle of a lecture. There's no joke that I'm either going to have to put my head down in my studies or sit college out for the rest of the year before I fall too far behind. My fingers fly over my keys as I type out a message.
"Sorry I haven't texted... I'm okay with Ryan... Call when you're free..." ~Faith.
Pushing my phone back into my pocket, I hear Goldie before I see her. She comes bouncing out the front door, wearing her hair out in wild locks. Her blue eyes crash into mine.
"You're here, good! Lock downs are the best!" Goldie said all giddy.
"Really?" I asked, not quite believing her. I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a house full of bikers for days on end.
Goldie nods her head, "Yup! Come on, we can put your bag up in Psycho's room... Hey, you get to meet Carly and Monica!" She said as she's practically skipping.
We make our way through the main room and when we pass the kitchen area, I feel a hundred eyes on me. Turning around, I find Ryan instantly. He continues to glare at Lion, his jaw tense. Panic and paranoia settle within me, unmoving.
'I need to tell him...' I gulp as I try to internally will myself to come clean.
Not right now.
Goldie takes my hand and drags me towards the stairs. "Just a FYI, the girl that Psycho fucks around with is here..." Goldie announces as I follow her though Ryan's bedroom door. "She's not exactly a club girl because she's technically family to one of the brothers, but I thought you should know..." Goldie explained.
"Leah?" I roll my eyes at the mention of Leah's name. I just didn't realize she was essentially family.
"Yup! She's Mandy's little sister, who is Justice's old lady..." Goldie explains.
"Old Lady?" I asked confused while putting my bag down onto the floor. I'm not familiar with terminology within the MC and never watched an episode of Sons of Anarchy or Mayans either. My TV watching goes about as far as tragic cooking shows.
"Think of a wife, and then multiply it by 100... There can be multiple wives but there will only ever be one old lady..." Goldie explained.
Honestly, it makes sense in a way that doesn't make sense. I think about a bond that goes beyond a piece of paper that binds you to someone legally. I think about the kind of love that transcends husband and wife. I kind of understand it. A wife could be someone you love, but that's not a rule. I've seen enough bad marriages to know that husbands and wives don't necessarily mean end game. But the way Goldie is describing it, it seems to me like the kind of connection that's permanent and unbreakable. It goes beyond the normal connection you have with someone.
Will Ryan ever have an old lady? I don't even know why I'm even going there. It shouldn't be something I waste time thinking about, but for some reason, I can't shake the thought. Jealously burns in the pit of my stomach when I think of Rye with someone else. The only thing that calms me slightly is knowing that the likelihood of him settling down with just one woman is slim to none. I try to turn my attention back to to Goldie who is chatting away, oblivious of my preoccupation.
"Speaking of, Leah was adamant that she was going to be that person for Psycho... Not sure why or how she would think that considering he's been nothing but a cunt to her in the past... " Goldie take a seat on the large double bed, bouncing softly on it as if testing the springs. "The only time Psycho is tolerant of her is when he's drinking and even then it's slim... And aside from that... She's not the only one he fucks with..." Her mouth stretches wide. "Oops... Sorry, I can shut up now... You probably don't want to hear this..." Goldie said.
"No this is nothing new for me... Ryan has always had an appetite for pussy..." I said.
She burst out laughing, kicking off her shoes and curling her legs beneath her ass to sit on her feet. "I can't even imagine Psycho without all the Tattoos and badass reputation..." Goldie said.
"Oh... He had a reputation back then, but it was, I don't know..." I mumbled, pulling out a chair that's tucked beneath an old desk. I look around the room, taking in the empty picture frames and old whiskey bottles. There's a large bed, a desk, and a dresser and a small boom box. If this is where Ryan stays, he doesn't stay here often. "He was just different..." I said shrugging my shoulders.
"Hmm... Well, I'm glad that's not awkward..." Goldie said.
And it isn't awkward, not for me at least. But then, I've always acted under the assumption that my connection with Ryan eclipses anything he might share with another woman. It was that way when we were younger, too. Rye entertained a parade of different girls, and even though I fucking hated it, I could tolerate it because, at the end of the day, I knew he wanted to come home to me. It was fucking twisted but that's how I felt at the time. However, I realize that things have changed considerably since then. I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle Rye fucking some bitch right in front of me.
Goldie gives me a little smile. She pushes up the clear glasses the sit on the bridge of her nose before sliding her feet back into her shoes. "Come on... We'll go help everyone in the kitchen... I can almost hear mom yelling at me..." Goldie said linking her arm in mine while dragging me with her.
The kitchen area of the house was filled with women by the time we got there. A couple I had met and some I hadn't. Goldie didn't waste time introducing me to everyone, even rubbing it into Leah's face who I was with. Leah sat there glaring at me for the most part, her hands tucked in her jacket and her legs kicked out and crossed at the ankles.
Metallica is playing in the background now as Mandy, Justice's 'old lady' swings her hips side to side while stirring a mixture of leaves in a large brown bowl. There's me, Goldie, Bonnie, Mandy, Leah, Monica, Roo's old lady and former Miss Australia, Rose, Justice and Mandy's 4 year old little girl and Carly who is sitting on Goldie's lap.
Music is playing and a couple of the girls are laughing between each other, sharing a beer. They seem more like a family than any gang I've ever heard of. What I've witnessed with John is much, much worse than this. My heart swells in my chest, filling empty parts inside of me with warmth. I can't deny the release of tension in my muscles from being around these people. Familiar. The walls that hold up this old house feel more like home to me than the multi-million dollar mansion I grew up in. These women feel more like family to me than my own mother.
All I'm missing is Jenn.
With a flutter inside my gut, I pull out my phone from my pocket while taking a sip of my beer.
0 New Messages.
'What the fuck...' I growled internally.
"Right Faith?" Goldie asked interrupting my thoughts.
"What?" I put my phone on the table taking another swig of my beer. I'll call her after dinner. She should definitely answer then.
A snort comes out of someone from the other side of the table, and my head snaps to Leah who is staring daggers at me. "Like she would know..." Leah said.
Goldie ignores her and I'm starting to get the distinct feeling that Goldie isn't too fond of Leah. Not sure why. But there's something there.
"You know the movie everyone is talking about right now with the hot guy in it? He's like, Spanish or something and Oh..." Goldie pauses, rolling her eyes back.
"I know what movie you're talking about..." I smirk at Goldie. "Where he takes the girl to his cabin in the woods?" I asked.
"How fucking hot is he!" Goldie gushes.
"Ye..." A hand comes to the front of my throat from behind and I'm momentarily shocked by the power convulsing against my back. My head is jerked back until I'm looking up at Ryan from behind me, his eyebrows raised.
"He's what, Kitten? Continue what you were gonna say and see what happens..." I'm still paralyzed from his blatant possessiveness, before I finally collect myself. I haven't spoken to him all day, since we fucked last night and the first thing he does is manhandle me in front of all his friends, or family, or whatever they are to him. He leans down into my ear so only I can hear his next words. His lips graze my earlobe and my insides damn near catch on fire. "Say any other man is hot and I'll shove my cock so far down your pretty little throat that you'll be eating through a straw for the next month..." He catches my lobe between is teeth, leaning even closer into me. "The Ryan you knew isn't the Ryan that you're about to know... I'll fuck you within an inch of your life just to prove a point, Kitten..." He growled.
I managed to get out from under his claws but his hand moves quickly, tightening around my neck, forcing me to look into his hooded eyes, which are sexy as fuck, even when they're shadowed. His gaze burns into my face but I won't show any weakness. Is he trying to intimidate me? To scare me? Well, he has another fucking thing coming if he thinks I'll just shrink back and do nothing. So I meet his gaze and show him the fire inside me. I want to tell him that I've seen true evil, real cruelty, and real life monsters and nothing scares me anymore. But I bite back the words and settle on something else that's equally true.
"Yeah? Well, I'm not the little girl you left behind either, Ryan... You don't know a fucking thing about me anymore..." Then before he can fully process my words, I lean in and bite his lower lip.
He holds still and I know I'm turning him on and I also know we're being watched, but I don't give a fuck anymore. I bite down hard. Only then do I pull away, my eyes glinting with satisfaction as I taste Ryan's blood on my tongue. He never takes his eyes off me as he licks his lips. He's looking at me like I'm his worst nightmare and dream come true all rolled into one. Or maybe I'm just projecting, considering that's exactly how I feel about him most days.
"Is that right, Kitten?" He growled.
"Yeah... That's fucking right... There's nothing you can do to scare me, big brother... So do yourself a favor and don't even bother trying..." I said which earned me a smirk. He looks amused for a second but I see desire flash across his eyes.
"We'll fucking see about that... Little brat..." Then he leaves with my cheeks flaming hot, my thighs clenched together and a pool of moisture right between my legs.
'Why am I the way I am?' I believe him. By god, I believe him. Which is most likely what is going to make this somewhere fun.
"Jesus..." Goldie grumbles, watching as Ryan makes his way back outside where most of the men are. "He's even worse than I thought he was going to be..." Goldie said in amused tone. Leah stands from her chair and hurries out the door in wave of anger. I could literally feel her rage penetrate during her departure. "She's either going to sulk or go harass him..." I heard Goldie say.
I tune them out, trying to control my urge to go out and make sure she's not going to Ryan. He's right. I don't know him anymore, and that's what makes me queasy. Had he and I started something back when we were younger, I would have been able to architecturally build whatever connection we have, but I no longer understand the foundation. It makes me tense and uneasy and on top of that, I'm holding on to a secret that could end both him and I and any chance that we have.
That pains me more than a dagger in the heart ever could. "Goldie... Do you have anything slightly stronger?" I asked just as Monica and Bonnie start hauling trays of food outside. It's still pretty early with the sun only just setting.
"Like vodka or tequila?" She asked.
"How old are you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Goldie tilts her head. "17..." She answers honestly. God, She's adorable.
Mandy reenters through the front door. There's a softness to her that I wouldn't have ever expected to find in a biker clubhouse. Mandy pauses, placing her hands on her hips. She has a figure that most would die for. The perfect splay of curves.
"I know what you need and that ain't it..." Mandy said as she takes my hand, pulling me up from my chair.
I snatched my phone quickly casting Goldie a quick look before Mandy leads me out the back door, where I was the night I first came to the clubhouse.
The door closes behind us and suddenly it's just her and I and the loud echoes of men and music playing on the other side of the house. Mandy turns to face me, her fingers diving into her back pocket.
"Leah isn't that bad when you get to know her..." I shiver, running my hands up and down my arms as she flips open a little silver casing, taking out what I assume is a joint. I don't know how she knew this is what I needed, but she did. It is definitely something I need to just take the edge off. Mandy places the end between her thin lips, lighting the tip.
"I'm not worried about Leah..." I said.
She continues to warm up the spliff, sucking short tokes before handling it to me. Blowing out a thick cloud of gray smoke and filling the air with the sweet Earthy scent of marijuana, she chuckles.
"Oh and you don't need to be, trust me... When I first met Justice, he had a club girl warming his cock... She refused to let him go, hung on his balls with her teeth..." I choke on the smoke, a laugh erupting from deep within my belly.
Quickly handing the joint back to her while banging on my chest, and hoping I don't fucking die from this lethal weed. "Thanks for the visual... It really wasn't needed..." I said.
She ignored me, dropping down onto one of the steps. I follow, sitting on the one just above. I already feel the effects of the THC leisurely swimming its way through my blood, warming me from the inside and placing all of my troubles right into the trash.
"Anyway, that girl, she was something I had to worry about... Had a lot of drama with that bitch..." Mandy explained.
"What happened to her?" I asked as she passes me the joint.
"I killed her..." Mandy said in all seriousness.
I giggled slightly, taking another hit. I've been around a lot of darkness in my life, but not death. It's hard to see someone like Mandy be connected to an evil such as murder.
"Well, don't worry... I'm not going to kill your sister..." I said.
Mandy laughs so hard her shoulders shake. "Listen, I wouldn't blame you if you did... She seems to drip her thirst all over Psych, not that she's the only one... There was a fight between her and Sam, another club girl, over him... Leah won... She thought she was on top of it all until you came along..." The joint is finished and when we both stand Mandy places my hand in hers. "It's only a matter of time before you'll be with all of us, wearing Psych's patch over your back with pride so that instantly makes you of higher rank than Leah... Psych is the VP, Lion's pride and fucking joy..." She rolls her eyes but it's not out of hatred, more with jest. "All I ask is that you try to take her lightly..." She said.
"Mandy, I don't..." I shake my head. "How can I explain this? Well, okay..." She waits for me to answer and I slightly panic at the thought of telling this woman who in essence is a total stranger, how I've always felt about Ryan and what it has done to me over the years. Specially when we were kids. "I don't scare easily when it comes Ryan... My pain threshold is high where he is concerned... I've had feelings for him as soon as I knew what feelings were, yet I still hung around him and his line of new girlfriends at school as if seeing another woman under his arm, in his bed, on his lap didn't destroy me bit by bit... So trust me, I'm not worried about Leah and I'm not a jealous person when it comes to it..." I explained.
Mandy's lips curl between her teeth as we both stand. "Ganja makes you real emotional, huh?" Mandy said in a slight teasing tone.
"No..." Turning around I'm about to tell her that I just need to get it out when Ryan's glare pins me in my place. My heart sinks.
"Mmmhmm..." Mandy whispered, smacking me on my ass. "Good thing huh?" She chuckles a bit.
I gulp past the nerves that are clenched around my throat. 'Damn it Mandy...' I growled internally. As soon as she's out of sight and it's just him and I, he gapes at me.
"You what?" He asked.
"What, what?" I blurt innocently, taking a wary step down bringing to where Mandy was seated. I need a plan of escape. I may not know who this Ryan is anymore, but the way he hunts is the same. I can see it in the way his eyes harden angrily, like carved stone.
He counters my step. "You fucking had feelings for me like that and never thought to say anything?" He snapped.
"What do you mean, Rye? You know I did!" I'm almost certain he knew. "Or why else would you antagonize me every chance you damn well got!" I take another step down.
He takes another step forward. "Kitten, I'll give you a head start to run, in an attempt to have me calm my shit down and after that, your ass is mine..." As soon as those words leave his mouth, I spin around quickly, my legs jolting forward as a rush of adrenaline pulses through me.
Arms wrap around my waist, hauling me off the ground as I scream loudly, my hand covering my mouth.
"Rye! Put me down!" He doesn't not until he has taken a few more steps.
He tilts his head, his voice low enough to raise the dead. "Why didn't you fucking tell me?" He growled lowly.
"Because..." I said, and I don't know what lie I should bring up. He doesn't touch me, but his presence is enough to caress every single inch of my untamed soul. His eyes alone eat up the space between our bodies like a starved wolf, over due for his feast.
"Because isn't enough..." Ryan growled.
"Would it have even mattered?" I asked with a sigh, glaring up at him while leaning against the metal wall. I've come to gather we're inside of a small shed. It smells of motor oil and fresh cut grass. There's no door, so if someone really wanted to, they could probably see us in between the lawnmower and garden tools.
"What do you mean?" He asked and as soon as he begins running the tip of his finger down the front of my throat, I inhale a deep breath to contain the euphoria that crashes over me, ready to crush me into tiny pieces.
"I mean, you would have still left..." As soon as the words leave my mouth, he snaps, pinning me to the wall by his hips, his hand coming back to the front of my throat.
"Told you to shut the fuck up about that, Kitten..." He growled.
"Well, maybe I don't fucking want to!" His lips are on mine in a flash and sweltering magma rolls through my bloodstream, my legs wobbling beneath my weight.
He picks me up from the back of my thighs and wraps them around his waist while never breaking the kiss. Slamming me against the wall again in a crash, his mouth laps up every bit of flesh he can find. My hands are in his hair, around the back of his thick neck, and down the front of his cut. I desperately want to feel him naked against me, and he seems as ravenous as I do. His hands rake over my body and even with all the material between us, it feels so fucking good.
He takes both my hands and slams them against the wall on either side of my face. I hissed when my wrist makes impact, but he doesn't notice. He holds me there, a captive in his arms as his tongue lashes at mine. He kisses me so fucking deeply that I can barely breathe by the end of it. When he pulls off me, our saliva all mixed together, I can still taste him as I gasp for air. But he doesn't stop there. He's like a beast that's spent it's whole life in captivity and has finally been set free. His lips fall to my ear and he starts nibbling the sensitive cartilage until I'm writhing, panting and rolling my hips against him. I want him inside me so badly that I want to tell him to just do it already, but I'm moaning so much that I can't even get words out.
His tongue lubes my ear and I gasp and try to free myself from the restraints of his hands, but he doesn't let me move. I'm completely at his mercy, and I have no choice but to let him take what he wants. Then, his tongue moves down towards my neck and I sigh as my back arches and new waves of pleasure channel through my sore body. I'm so fucking wet it's not even funny. It actually feels like I'm soaking through my clothes, which is probably exactly what he wants. He bends lower still and starts sucking my nipples right through my clothes. I moan as my eyes close, rolling back in my head. How is he so fucking good at this?
Finally, fucking finally he releases my hands, and they fly instantly to his body. I'm desperate to explore him the way he just explored me, but I'm not as confident as he is, and my hands tremble slightly as they move. I glide my fingers over his chest as he ducks beneath my clothes, his head dipping lower until his mouth latches on to the nub of my breast. He tugs the sensitive bead beneath his teeth and a fierce sting aches through them.
He pauses, standing back to his full height. "Who the fuck let you get fake tits?" He snaps.
'Oh shit...' I internally panicked slightly. "Ah... Mom did..." I lied.
"What? Why the fuck would she do that?" He demanded.
"I complained mine were too small..." I lied again. 'He can never know...' I internally vowed.
"Why don't I believe you?" He asked through grit teeth.
Wrapping my fingers around the collar of his cut , I pull him closer. "So what are you going to do about it?" I asked.
As soon as I feel his palm over my bare pussy, I moan, my head tipping back. His thumb presses against my clit in slow circles as he rests his head in the crook of my neck.
"Do you know how much I want to fucking kill you right now? All these years I could have had my mouth on this pussy and you deprived me of that..." He increases the pressure, his circles slowing. "I'm going to fuck you hard and fast, here and then later you're going to wish I was still fucking you how I'm about to..." He growled against my neck.
I nibbled on my bottom lip as he slides his finger inside of my entrance. He shoves his finger so far up inside me that it disappears completely and my pussy walls can feel the burn of his hand pressing up against it. I gasp and writhe against him, my nails clawing at his back. He hisses but he keeps his finger up there for 2 long, emotionally charged seconds, and I can feel sweat dotting my chest as he pulls it out again. Before I can catch my breath, he shoves it back inside and then he's finger fucking me so hard that I actually keep hitting my head from the force. But I don't feel a thing because, apparently all my feeling is in my pussy, where his finger currently resides. He suddenly pulls his finger out, leaving me breathless and wanting. He meets my gaze and brings his finger up between us.
My eyes go from his face to the finger that was just inside me. It's glistening with my juices, heavy with my lust for him. I watched mesmerized as he slips that finger into his mouth. And I juice up all over again. Seeing him lick my fluids off his finger is probably one of the most erotically charged moments of my life. He sucks his finger clean and when he pulls it away, I can see a light coating of his own saliva. He sticks the same finger into my mouth and he doesn't even have to coax me to open my lips. They part willingly for him and I suck his finger dry before he removes it.
Smiling at me he shoves his hand back down and starts finger fucking me again, this time with 2 fingers. I grasp onto his back tightly and I know I'm leaving claw marks on his back, probably even drawing blood, but he doesn't complain and I'm not about to stop even if he does. I want to leave my mark on him, just like he's leaving a mark on me. As he continues to fuck me with his fingers his mouth comes down near my shoulder and he bites into me. I throw my head up toward the sky and moan loudly, desperate now to feel him inside me.
I finally find my voice and I know I sound like I'm begging, but again, I don't give a fuck. "Ryan... Yes... Fuck... Rye... I... I need you... Inside me now..." I all but screamed.
His eyes flash with desire as he pulls away long enough to unzip himself and get himself out of his pants. If I wasn't high and nervous, I would make sure no one was watching us right now, but I don't. I don't care. All I care about is that I have him and he has me, and I need to be closer to him. I need to feel him inside me, owning me, thrusting into me, riding and licking me all over my body. The cold brush of wind whisks over my clit as Ryan picks me back up with his fingers flexing around my thighs.
His mouth is on mine again, his slick tongue sliding between my lips. I fight the urge to scream, my body responding to all of his physical cues as if it knows how to counter his actions. Slamming me against the wall roughly, he thrusts inside of me, his mouth still on mine. My body fills with hot fire with every single thrust. Every time he rocks inside of me, my pussy clenches around his thick shaft, milking his every movement.
Pulling out, he flips me over and slaps my ass hard, entering me from behind with a force of energy. His cock feels even bigger from this position and it makes me scream. I try to keep myself from being too loud but I know that my effort might not hold up against Ryan's urgency for me. He fucks me like an animal. That's the best way I can describe it. It's all guttural moans, deep thrusts and the smashing of flesh which has to be the most erotic sounds in the world.
He fucks me so hard that I'm almost certain I won't be able to walk tomorrow. At the very least, he's going to leave me sore but I welcome it. This is exactly what I spent so many nights dreaming of and now that it's happening it's even better than my imagination could have conjured.
Ryan grabs a fistful of my hair and uses it to pull my head back as he fucks me harder. There's so much fury in his thrusts that it feels like hate sex but I know better. This is pent-up desire. This is the passion we never got to experience when we were teenagers because we were held back by social norms regarding what is acceptable and what was not. But we've both been to hell and back. In fact, hell is our permanent place of residence now and the rules no longer apply. The only thing that matters is what we want. The only things we can have are those we're willing to take.
"Fuck... Ryan!" He's pulling on my hair wildly and I gasp and moan, but I don't want it to stop. I love that he's rough with me, so rough in fact it borders on violent but it's what I need, what I want.
He releases my hair, and I feel his hands on my hips. He squeezes me hard and slaps my ass, again and again, until pain is laced with pleasure. I can hear his heavy charged breathing, and that makes me wetter than I've ever been. My hair rolls over one shoulder as I catch where everyone is seated. In my sex and very fucking high haze, I'm somewhat pleased to see no one watching, until my focus falls on Wicked. He's leaning back in his chair, a toothpick rolling around between swollen lips. His eyes are dead, cold and emotionless. It's like he was staring right into my very soul. Like he can see me and my eyes, like there is no wall in between us.
Ryan grabs my hair tight and yanks my head backward. "You better not be looking at who I think you're looking at..." He growls.
"Who do you think I'm looking at?" I purred. I don't know how he knew who I was looking at but I've learned I can't hide much from him.
He releases my hair before one hand clamps around my waist, tensing hard enough to leave bruises beneath my skin while his other hand comes to the back of my throat.
"You'll pay for that too..." He growled as he squeezes and thrashes me from behind, his cock thrusting against the walls of my pussy as his hand tenses enough to cut off any form of oxygen. I tap at his hand as he relentlessly thrusts into me. In and out, in and out, his hand clenching around my throat at the same time, with every time he chokes me, it seems longer.
Bright retro dots dance behind the backs of my eyes, everything turning dizzy. Just as my thighs clench together and a moan falls from my mouth, my orgasm drips out of me and slips down my thigh as everything goes black.
Dirt and chalk crusts around my mouth as I come to with Ryan placing me back onto the ground in the back of the garage, his shoulders shaking with laughter.
"What the fuck... Rye, what happened?" I groaned tiredly.
"You may have closed your eyes or something..." Ryan said trying to fight his laughter but totally failing.
"Yeah, or something... Or I fucking passed out... Was it after I came at least?" I asked still tired.
"Yes..." He's still laughing as he grabs a cigarette from his pocket.
"Stop laughing..." I scold him, though I have to fight my own smile.
He snorts. "Never..." Lighting up the end, he places the tip into his mouth and tucks me under his arm. Just as he's about to lead us out of the shed, his fingers hook in mine and he spins me around until I crash into his hard chest. "One more thing..." I peer up at him, hypnotized by the way his thick lashes fan out over his tanned skin.
"What?" I asked.
Smoke releases from between his puffy lips. "Whatever is going on with you and that fuckboy... I need to know about it... This is serious, Faith... It goes deeper than just me being a fucking possessive control freak over you, you hear?" He said his eyes never leaving mine. My smile falls and when his fingers flex around my chin, tilting my face up to his, I know he caught it. "Kitten, what's going on?" He asked his tone gentler.
My mouth opens and I know the words are near falling out. So close. But then shame slams its ugly hand over my mouth and I swallow the potential rejection like top-shelf alcohol.
'How am I going to tell him? How do I tell him? Where do I start?' I internally panic. But I gulp and open my mouth. "It's a really long story, I will tell you..." I said fighting the tears that want to fill my eyes.
His eyebrows furrow inward, worry lines etching into his smooth forehead. He sighs, relaxing his grip. "Later then..." He said and I nod, offering a small, fake smile.
"Sure, later..." I said.
He turns and suddenly grabs me, pulling me close to him as possible so that I can't avoid his eyes. "There's no fucking way you're getting out of telling me, Kitten... So Prepare yourself now because I'll get it out of you... One way or another..." He growled low.
When he tucks me under his arm and directs me to where everyone is seated, I ignore the pang of loss that throbs in my chest. Even when his flips off a few of the brothers for whistling at us and I see a smidge of the old Ryan, that same pain throbs. Even when I take a seat on his lap at the table and he hands me a plate filled with fatty meats and crispy fried potatoes, that pain intensifies.
When I look down at him from above and see the way his eyes light up on me, his arm relaxed around my waist as it should have always been, that pain fucking throbs. As I hunt around the table and watch everyone in their movements with their loved ones, and how they all shuffle in their seats, talking and laughing among one another, the pain throbs.
This isn't a motorcycle club, it's a family. No wonder Ryan never wanted to come home after he found them, I wouldn't want to either. I've never felt so safe, or so right, than I do while I'm here, on this infuriatingly crazy man, sitting at this over the top long table and eating this deliciously cooked food.
Sadness washes over me when I realize this is all a dream. Soon, I'll wake up and the nightmare that's my reality will be waiting for me of the other side.
"You good?" Ryan asked, biting the side of my neck.
I closed my eyes but don't move. Another girl might have yelped and tried to squirm away from him. But not me, I invite in the pain. I fucking revel in it. Ryan pulls away, but only inches, so that his face is still next to mine. I narrow my eyes at him and lean in. He thinks he's about to get a kiss but I get my revenge as I sink my teeth into the apple of his cheek. I feel his body constrict for a moment before he relaxes. I pull away and he's looking at me with hungry eyes. We might be exchanging pain but apparently that's our version of foreplay. I'm already wet but I'm also hungry so sex will have to wait until I've had my meal.
I reach for my burger while Ryan watches me the whole time. I just ignore him as the smell of fresh meat rises up into my nose. I fucking love the way he looks at me, like he wants to devour me whole, the same way I'm about to devour the burger in my hands. I sink my teeth into the fatty meat, sucking the juices off my thumb. He leans over and wraps his lips around my the thumb I just sucked but instead of sucking on it, he bites it. Hard.
I yelped, but no one hears because everyone is talking and laughing loudly. "Ouch... Ryan..." I hissed smacking his chest with the back of my hand.
He chuckled, his soft lips crashing onto mine briefly. "Yeah..." He said licking his lips. "You know, I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again..." He growled.
My heart explodes in my chest, the shards of the aftermath ricocheting through my flesh. As soon as it exploded, the logicality of my situation makes my head spin and stomach sink. I twist around to block my face from crumbling. Tears were at the back of my eyes as I internally counted down from 20. Breathing in and Breathing out. Every second I spend with him only lathers my pain with guilt. So much guilt. How the hell am I going to get through lock down?
I glanced up to see Wicked's eyes on me. I gulp looking away from him. I have to fight even harder not to let my face crumble. This is going to be a very long lock down.
~~Later - Ryan's Perspective~~
I had left Faith out back with the girls while Lion called church after the feast. We touched base, he told everyone that he hadn't heard back from the cartel, and now everyone is leaving, retreating to their bedrooms or their tents out back. Lock downs are always inconvenient for routines, but they're necessary. They're what keep us safe.
"Remember the day we met?" Lion asked, sucking on his cigar.
"Yes, I fucking do..." I said with a chuckle.
~~Memory – 4 Years Ago~~
I pulled my car up to the parking lot of Patches, the rubles of my V8 growling angrily beneath my ass.
'It's a shit hole, for one... Bitch probably set me up...' I thought as I picked up my phone, I sent off a message to Owen and Austin, pausing over their names briefly. What we had gone through yesterday was enough to drive a wedge through any friendship, but our friendship wasn't just any friendship.
One day, we would turn what we went through into something good. That I fucking know.
"If I die, Patches is the bar I'm at..." ~Ryan
Taking the steps needed to the entrance. I pushed open the door with a squeak and it slammed shut behind me. The temperature in the room is noticeably cooler than outside, and that's not from the weather. The room is split between 2 groups. One side was a pack of bikers, wearing thick, heavy cuts and all of various shapes and sizes. And on the other side, standing somewhat calm and chill, was a group of older men dressed in suits and dripping with gold. I feel like I just strolled into an episode of The Sopranos crossed with Sons Of Anarchy.
"Ah!" I said, but it was too late, gunshots rang out. I instantly ducked behind a table to take cover. "Fuck..." I was probably about to die, all because I listened to some random ass lady that told me to go to a fucking bar in the ass crack of nowhere. Bullets sprayed everywhere, smashing glasses and bottles.
When everything died out, I tipped my head around the corner to see the older man from the MC side on his knees, his hands up behind the back of his head and the mafia boss and his side all pinned on the MC.
"Shit..." I hissed, pulling my Glock out from the waistband of my pants, I pointed my pistol at the man who looked more important, since he was the one who had the gun pointed at the older man on the ground.
"I told you to stay out of my business, Lion..." The man holding the gun to the older man's head that was on the ground.
POP!
I squeezed the trigger and he dropped to the ground after my bullet penetrated the side of his head. I hadn't killed a man before. This was my first time, but something inside me knew that I needed to save this man today, at any cost. The MC side all whipped out their guns, shooting down the other 2 men who were with the Mafia boss.
I stepped closer to the bodies, studying them carefully, wishing I could do something. Anything.
"What you thinking, son?" The older man, Lion, asked, his attention unrestrainedly on me.
"Just that if these are bad people and if you could, would you want to do more to them? I mean, death is the coward's way out... The fun should start before they're dead... Humiliate them... Show them they have no control, not anymore..." The anger I felt inside of me was tipping over the edge of my control and I didn't like it.
But seeing blood, and bodies on the ground, made me think of Diamond, and how much I would fucking kill to have his mercy pressed to the tip of my gun.
"Mmm, where did you say you were headed?" Lion asked.
~~Memory End – Present~~
"Yeah I remember like it was fucking yesterday... We burned that whole fucking place to the ground..." I said.
"Which was hard to do, considering that place had sentimental value to the club..." Lion said.
That catches me off guard and I guess that should have been something I asked him a long time ago, but it slipped my mind among all the bodies, blood, and being patched in instantly. I leaned back in my chair, stretching my legs wide. I'm trying to force my thoughts from drifting to Faith asleep upstairs in my sheets. My cock swelled against the zipper of my jeans at the fucking thought of it.
"You gonna tell me about that?" I asked.
Lion clears his throat, taking a cigar out of his humidor and putting it between his cracked lips. Age hasn't been kind to the old fucker, but he was definitely a handsome cunt in his better days.
"There was a girl..." He said. We both looked at each other and laughed.
"Isn't there always?" I asked between laughs.
"This one was different..." He said.
I never asked him why Bonnie was only his wife and not his old lady. I never asked him about a lot of shit when I think back on it, but the thing with Lion is that if you were to know something about him, you would know because he would tell you. Digging into his life would do nothing but piss him off, and you don't want to be pissing him off. Age isn't the only thing that hasn't been kind to him, his patience hasn't either.
"She was my old lady..." He said. I paused, my fingers tensing around my chair. Without filling the silence with unnecessary shit, I keep quiet, waiting for him to continue. He does. "Met her when were in our early 20's... She was this mysterious witch that I fell in love with instantly... My old man and president at the time warned me off her... His words were, 'Stay away from girls like her... Their souls will always battle between good and bad'..." He shakes his head, running his withered hands over his face, his gold rings clinking.
"Should have fucking listened... I didn't... Fell in love... She ran away from her messed-up family to be with me here, and then one day she just..." He stops breathing. "Vanishes... Tried waiting for her for years, but she never came back...That day I met you, I had just found out that her family had close fucking ties to the Colombian Cartel and I was ass-deep in trying to find her... Dead ends... Every fucking time..." He flicks off the ash of his cigar and leans back in his chair, the wood cracking under his weight. He takes a long pull, rolling the brown trunk around in his mouth.
"Gave up, found Bonnie and had that little shit Gypsy... Told her she'd never be my Old lady, already had one of those..." Lion said.
It's true, we only give the honor to one woman, and by the sound of it, she was that for Lion. Even as he speaks about her, I see the clear pain in his eyes, the twitch in his fingers around his cigar from anger, and finally the brittle tone he uses when speaking about her. Every now and then, he'd gaze off into the distance, as if reliving a memory. Or a nightmare. Can't figure out which is what.
"I'm sorry, big man... Did you ever find her?" I asked.
By this point, I'm completely engrosses in this asshole's love story gone wrong. Sounds like some modern-day twist on Romeo And Juliet.
His head tips back as a laugh rips from his throat. "Fuck no... Bitch would be locked in my room for days on end if I had..." He said.
"And what If you do find her one day?" I asked the question that I'm sure he never wants to answer. "Do you know who you'd choose?" I asked.
His eyes come to mine, and for the first time since I've met Lion, the muscles in his face stiffen somberly. There's not a hint of a smile. He is deafeningly dangerous in this moment.
"Every fucking time..." Lion said.
~~Faith's Perspective~~
His hands wrap around my hair, tugging on it roughly as his lips find the connection between my neck and shoulder.
"You're owed a fucking beating, Kitten..." He growled.
I curl my lips between my teeth, pressing my ass into him as his thickness slides down the crack of my ass. Reaching back until my fingers find the smooth skin of his cock, I wrap my fingers around his girth and tug languidly, resting my head on his chest. His penetrating snicker rocks me as he buries his face into my hair. He whacks my hand away from him and I pout, even though I know that he can't see me. Tearing the off the blankets from our bodies, even though we're drowning in complete darkness, with the exception of a small crack in the curtain that the full moon is fighting through, he presses me down onto my stomach with his hand at my lower back. In slow circles, he caresses my ass, until both of his hands cup one cheek.
"Ryan..." I wiggle beneath his hand. With a loud clap, his palm comes down sharply on my left cheek and flinch with the sting of pain. My blood heats to my cheeks and my thighs twitch together.
"No talking, or I'll gag you..." He said.
I flick my hair over one shoulder and peer at him over the top. I'm blinded by the blanket of the night but the outline of his muscled shadow gives me enough clue as to where he is over my body. Ready to take what he wants. What he owns. I'm completely at his mercy, only our bodies already know that. They recognize each other. His hand dives onto the ground where his Wolf Pack MC bandana is and snaps it near my face, bringing it to my mouth.
"Bite, you're fucking good at that..." He demands. My teeth clench down over the material that's in my mouth, the tang of cologne and cigarettes dancing across my tongue. He ties it roughly around the back of my head. "Wicked turns you on?" He asked.
I'm stunned by his question, so my answer sticks to the back of my throat. Lifting me by my hips until I'm up on all fours, he stretches my legs wide, pressing my face down onto the bed.
Slap!
Pain radiates over the entrance of my pussy. "Answer the question, Faith... Does he?" He growls against my ear. Saliva builds around the edges of my mouth, my brows knitting together in confusion. What the fuck is he doing? He can't be serious right now. I just stay silent, annoyed that he'd ask the question at all and wondering if he's even serious about it. "I asked a fucking question, Kitten... But I suppose it doesn't matter either way... I'm going to make you regret ever looking in his direction..." He pushes me down against the bed and holds me there, with my ass in the air ready to receive his cock. "Cross your fingers together at the back of your head..." He demands.
Oh god.
I do as I'm told, mainly because I don't think I want to fuck with this side of him, but another part of me wants to see just how far I can push him.
"You let go, and you feel this..." Cold metal slides down the crack of my ass and I tense. My muscles cease when I mentally put the picture together of what it is. He continues to slide the blunt side of a knife down my ass crack. Flattening the knife so it's covering my pussy and my ass. He leans over until his mouth is at the back of my ear. "It's going to be one of the many ways I show you just how much you don't know me anymore..." He removes the knife and I feel the tip of his cock press against my entrance. "And another thing? You don't cum unless I say you can..." He said.
I wiggle beneath his grip before swallowing him whole. The headboard of the bed crashes against the wall as I glare at him over my shoulder, his eyes on mine. He grins, bringing his hand to his mouth and I watch in fascination as his tongue sneaks out and he licks the palm of his hand, sliding it over asshole. He continues to pump inside of me in savage thrusts, until I feel his balls slap against my clit and the bead of sweat swell over my brow line. He slips his finger into my ass as his cock continues to drive inside of me. My clit throbbing every time I feel the tip of him connect with my cervix.
This is the kind of sex I should have been having all along. This is the kind of passion I should have been experiencing right from the beginning, before that bastard too everything from me. I moan into the blankets, fisting handfuls of blanket to try and steady myself as Ryan fucks me hard from behind. He's like a man possessed and it actually does feel like he's trying to fuck the image of Wicked from my mind. I don't bother telling him that he doesn't need to worry. The only man I dream about at night is him. It's only ever been him.
But what's the point of telling him? Especially when I'm loving his punishment so much. He rams into me with barbaric thrusts and I slide forward on the bed, my head almost hitting the wall but he manages to catch me just in time. Honestly, I don't even care. I just want more of him, more of his cock, claiming me like he should have done from the beginning. He should have been my first and I'm so pissed that he wasn't.
"Fuck! Yes! Fuck! RYAN! Harder! Harder!" I screamed. I heard him chuckle darkly and then he takes things to a new level. I abandon all sense of where we are and I scream as he fucks me like an animal. My arms ache from holding on, my knees shaking from holding up my weight. My body is confused with the range of feelings that are speeding around inside of me.
With the stabbing of pain that echoes through me at every second pump, comes a wave of pleasure. I want to scream when my body tightens and my muscles tense, waiting quietly while my orgasm holds me hostage waiting for that final push to shove me over the edge. He stops and tears prick the corner of my eyes, sweat pooling beneath my face and soaking into the mattress before he pushes inside me roughly, forcefully.
Controlled.
When his pace slows, his mouth comes to the nape of my neck as his sharp teeth sink into my skin. "Show me how much you're mine, Kitten..." With those words spoken through rough baritone and raw animalistic groans, I lose it. My heart rate breaks the scale, my blood turns to lava and everything south quivers as fluid gushes out of me, and my body collapses beneath his grip, unable to hold itself up after the torture it's endured.
He must have pulled out because hot cum shoots up my back in spurts as he slowly releases the knot around the back of my head. Running his fingers through his warm liquid, he brings the same fingers to my mouth.
"Remember this taste next time you find yourself looking at Wicked with those pretty little eyes... What's it taste like Kitten?" He asked.
I'm still panting, struggling to come to terms with everything my body is trying to deal with. "Cum..." I panting out.
His dark chuckle is like ice slipping down the curve of my spine. "Wrong... It's the taste of a man who will kill anyone who crosses his path during his hunt of catching you..." He finally releases me, snatching the bandana off the side of the bed after he has wiped me clean. "Come here..." With a wince of pain in my arms, legs and now swollen pussy, I turn toward him finding peace in the arms of a man who causes so much chaos.
I run the tip of my finger over the indented lings of his abs and the thick lines of his tattoos, or more obviously, the numbers 2000.
"I don't think anyone will walk that path, Rye..." I said as I snuggled into his chest.
"Hmm?" He asked, his voice drunk with sleep. I've realized that sleepy Ryan is my favorite Ryan, as the tip of his finger runs circles on my arm.
"No one will take that path..." I said.
"Why's that?" He asked sleepily, his lips now relaxed against my forehead.
"Because one look at both of us and people know it's only supposed to be us on that road..." I explained with a yawn. His finger stops moving before his lips cushion against my forehead, setting a fucking army of butterflies soaring in my belly.
"Sleep, My Kitten..." He said against my forehead.
I'm tired, but I'm actually fighting sleep. It's funny because I usually wait to go to bed at night. It's the only time I can escape the demons that threaten to break me apart. It's the only way I can be free of the shame and guilt that's plagued my life since I was 15 years old.
But with Ryan, it's different. With him, I want to soak up every moment we have together. I want to make up for lost time and I want to talk to him because I've missed not being able to for the last 4 years. So, despite his sleepy order for me to sleep, I don't. Instead, I slide closer to him and cup his face in my palm. He opens his eyes and gazes down at me, drowsiness coating his expression. I lean in and kiss him slowly and softly, letting the kiss stand on its own, without the expectation of anything. It's an intimate, tender kiss, the kind that's meant to convey a message, I've missed you, I never ever want you to leave me.
When I break away, Ryan is wearing a thoughtful expression but his arm tighten around me. "You're tired... Get some sleep..." He said.
"I don't want to sleep..." I said.
"And why's that?" He asked.
"I'm scared that when I wake up, you'll be gone... " I said sadly.
A flash of something flies across his eyes. Is it regret, doubt, fear? I can't be sure. He leans in and kisses me on the forehead and then on the lips. "Don't worry about that, Kitten... I'm not going anywhere... Not this time... I'm never letting you out of my sight again... That's a fucking promise..." He said as he tightened his arms around me reassuringly.
My eyes close with a smile stretched wide on my face. I won't let him go without a fight, I know that much. But what is the fight is with him?