happy reading!

Chapter 8

November 21st, 1994

The days following the party had felt like one endless hangover and Luka was barely able to curb her nausea. How could everything be so clear and yet so fucking blurry all at once? The memories played on like a broken record skipping every second beat, but she knew. She knew what had happened. The deafening silence inside her hadn't gone away, and no noise seemed capable of filling it.

Once Luka knew something, she could never just un-know it as much as she tried to shove it down. She could remember in tantalizing detail the momentous truths that shaped her very being as much as she denied them, from the first time she was called a freak by her muggle classmates in primary school to her mother telling her they couldn't tell her soon-to-be stepfather about where she actually went to school; Luka had always known she was an outcast from her very inception and now, even if she vehemently denied it, she understood yet another reason why that was so.

The deafening silence inside hadn't gone away since Saturday, and no noise seemed capable of filling it—not even the excitement of another weekend.

She weaved her way through the halls, staring down at her feet until she'd found her way outside and sat on a stone ledge in the courtyard, waiting for her friends. Other students were in small groups, scattered around like marbles—or gobstones. Despite her years in the magical world, Luka still found herself clinging to muggle words, trading God for Merlin as if they were synonymous.

It was a good thing she didn't believe in God otherwise that'd be blasphemous.

Sighing, she tilted her head up to the sky, squinting against the sunlight. She could feel the clawing again, her mind pulling her back to the party. How ironic that she'd wished for a secret to keep and now, with one in hand, she only wanted it gone. She wanted less to understand about herself. Wanted to be something palatable to others.

Not her friends. Her friends wouldn't care. She knew Cersei and Diana, knew she didn't have to be something digestible to them, and yet that did nothing to shut her nerves up. Do I even have to tell them—what is there to tell? Nothing. There's nothing to say. I have jack-shit to say.

"'Ello," came a feathery voice. "It was Luka, yes?"

Her stomach dropped.

Peeling her dark eyes away from the sky, she turned her gaze to Fleur Delacour who was wearing a cute pale blue peacoat. Try as she might, Luka couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked against the wintery backdrop.

"Uh, yeah, yes," she said. "Fleur. Something wrong?"

"Oh, no, no. I only wanted to come and say 'ello. I 'ave been wanting to zank you for inviting myself and my classmates to your party." She smiled. "Zere is not much to be impressed with at 'Ogwarts, but it was quite fun."

Luka nodded. "That's, um, that's good. Glad to hear that."

In her head, she was desperately willing Fleur to leave, to go away, but the older girl didn't move. Instead, she seemed to be inspecting the Prefect badge pinned to Luka's coat—which had been put there simply to piss off Edgecombe even when they weren't in uniform. Gently, she pinched the black material and brought the badge closer to her.

Luka felt her cheeks heating up. Go away, oh my Merlin leave me the fuck ALONE.

"You are a Prefect?"

Luka could barely bring herself to nod.

"Curious." Fleur stood to leave, pausing to touch Luka's shoulder. "I look forward to ze next 'Ogwarts ga-zering."

And like that, Fleur left, only throwing a small goodbye over her shoulder as she rejoint her group and trotted off to Hogsmeade.

Luka swore a decade had passed in the few seconds following, barely cognizant of the pair approaching from behind.

"Was she looking for round two?"

The whisper beside her ear made her jump, whipping her hand around to smack the person who'd scared her.

George cradled half his face with hands, groaning in pain as Fred doubled over laughing.

"Bloody hell! You've got one hell of an arm on yah, Dyer!"

"George—I'm so sorry! I—Why did you scare me like that?!"

"I just thought I'd try losing an eye today!"

She winced at the thought. "Let me see. It can't be that bad."

Moving his hands away, George revealed an already-fading red mark stretching from his forehead and down his cheek. "Should be grateful there's no blood."

She snorted, a warm feeling fizzling in her chest. "I'm sorry."

He offered a small smile. "S'alright."

Diana flipped the badge back and forth in her hand. Some Slytherin she couldn't remember the name of had given it to her during class the day before, the expectation being that she was to wear it solely because she was a Slytherin.

It was Draco's handy work, she was certain.

His strange obsession with Potter was annoying at worst, but their late-night conversations had given way to what was really buried under all that anger: envy. It was such an ugly feeling, bringing out the worst in even the most docile of people—not that Draco was docile. He wasn't, but he wasn't a hopeless case either.

She understood him, and even if she wasn't as extreme in her dislike, Potter never had to try for anything. The most famous wizard of their generation. Revered by all, but yet she couldn't wrap her head around what the hell was so special about Potter.

Still, she didn't feel the same draw to cruelty. The sea of flashing badges she saw making her way towards the courtyard struck her as petty and stupid. She'd been the target of bullies with nothing better to do before; she'd rather not participate and the fact that Draco was the likely inventor left a sour taste in her mouth.

She'd have to talk to him about that later—though imagining how that conversation would go, she already knew he'd push back. Her words would have to be spoken with a certain level of care.

Up ahead, she could see Cersei's head just as the Hufflepuff disappeared beyond the gates and outside. She thought about speeding up, pocketing the shifting badge, and pausing.

There was something in her pocket.

A paper crane.

Biting her lip, she pulled the sheet apart, knowing full well what it meant but wanting to see it unfold anyways.

Inside, creased and smudged but still perfect, was a sketch of the astronomy tower, stars twinkling in the background as the moon rose with the fall of the pencil sun. Another version of Draco's handy work. A reminder of how it was almost unfair how his creations could range from so cruel to beautiful.

She folded the note into fours and cursed to no one but herself as she forced her feet to guide her outside.

Despite the cold, the sun shined bright over the cobblestones, warming her face and she looked out in search of her people only to find three more than she expected to see.

"They don't care, Granger." Fred said loudly, speaking to the Muggle-born girl standing with a tin in her hand. She was Potter's friend. Hermione, was it?

"How many times do we have to tell you?" George added. "The house-elves like working."

Luka shook her head, fishing through her pockets for change. "Even if they like working, doesn't mean they should be treated like shit." She dropped a few galleons into Hermione's tin. "I'll take a badge."

Hermione straightened, drawing her shoulders back proudly. "Some of us are capable of thinking critically about the enslavement of magical creatures."

"You're serious, Dyer?"

A few coins spilled out of Cersei's pockets, hitting the ground, sounding like faulty wind chimes. "I'll take one too. We've got a house-elf, Bingus. I take her shopping with me so she can get days off. She's starting to come around to taking tips."

Hermione beamed. "That's amaz—"

"Diana," Fred said drawing attention to the observing Slytherin. "Tell me you don't believe all this SPEW bollocks too."

Diana hesitated, pretending not to notice the way Hermione tensed and lifted her chin ever so slightly. It was a common reaction she got from any of the Muggle-born students who knew about her parents. Fight or flight. Defensive or cowering. They always acted like she'd draw her wand and attack them.

"I should be—"

She pulled out a few galleons, reaching to put them in the tin. "I'll take one."

"O-Oh," Hermione stuttered out, scribbling something down. "Thank you. Well then, I should be going."

"You lot," Fred said, pointing between each of them individually as Diana took her spot standing beside Cersei, "are mad."

Luka shrugged. "Shockingly none of us think slavery is a good idea."

"They like working."

"Shouldn't you be with your friends?" Diana said.

Fred put a hand over his chest, feigning offence. "You wound us, Diana."

Again with her name. The sound of it coming from anyone besides her friends felt foreign—not in an unsettling way, simply unfamiliar. She was known by and for her last name. Aspen. The legacy of two Death Eaters who tortured and murdered a muggle couple. Diana Aspen. The daughter who watched because she was nine, and what was she supposed to do?

More.

She squinted. "I should."

"Dyer's beaten you to it." George remarked.

Cersei barked out a laugh. "Again?"

"Tell them to stop sneaking up on me!"

Hogsmeade was as busy as usual with students and other magic folk walking through the worn streets, moving in and out of shops—some more leisurely than others. Conversations flowed passed them, an occasional out-of-context line standing out for the trio to mock and laugh about.

The twins had left them near The Three Broomsticks, saying something about their brother, and Diana had to admit they'd stuck around much longer than she anticipated. Most of their interactions were brought on by business needs and once those were tended to, they made their charming getaways back to their Gryffindor friends. It wasn't something she ever took offence to, but she had noticed. Since the party, business had become a less frequent motivation.

It was an interesting development.

Across from Honeydukes, the trio took their usual spot at the mouth of an alley by a dress shop. They watched the flow of students, a few peeling away from the current to drop a few galleons in exchange for Magic Cap. Though Hogsmeade wasn't devoid of the prying eyes of professors, selling was still always easier. Student were bolder when they weren't on school grounds.

Diana adjusted the barrette pinning her chestnut hair back using the dress shop window as a mirror. If she focused inside, she could see people moving about, rows upon rows of gowns and suits, and a slip of red silk at the back.

"You're joking." Cersei said suddenly.

Diana turned, a what? falling out, but no answer was necessary. Coming up the street was Cedric—though he wasn't the source of the visible shift in Cersei's demeanour. At his sides and following behind were girls; their adoring expressions so explicit and clear, you'd think they'd swallowed Amortentia. Some even held out parchment and photographs for the boy to sign, which he did. A bit awkwardly though, a nervous laugh tumbling out.

"Triwizard fever…" Luka grumbled. "You'd think he was a vampire or something, putting them all under compulsion…"

Cersei clicked her tongue, shaking her head and forcing her attention somewhere else as Cedric and his pack stopped at the entrance of Honeydukes. A few noticed the girls in their shady corner. Fingers were raised and pointed. Quick conversations had.

"Do you want to go?" Diana asked.

"It's fine." And though every syllable betrayed her and gave way to the hurt, nobody moved. "I don't care."

One of the third years from the pack broke off. She approached, a bright smile on her face, missing the hostility permeating off the trio.

"Hi," she said, already pulling out a few coins. "Could I just—"

"Just what?" Cersei snapped.

The girl took a step back. "I wanted some Cap…"

"No."

"What?"

"No. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

Envy, jealousy—those ugly feelings could chip away at even the most stubborn rocks, turn smooth stone into jagged pieces. Diana shook her head.

"Sorry, we don't sell to anyone in third year or under." Luka said gently, offering the girl an apologetic smile as she turned away. "Try next year."

"Yeh three're selling wha', er, may I ask?"

The looming shadow fell over them and nobody but the third year scurrying away moved.

Hagrid stared down at the trio, his face still beaming despite the suspicious arch of his brow as he waited for an answer.

"Essays." Cersei said quickly.

"Essays." He repeated as if he were testing the word out.

"Yes," Luka added. "My mum, she doesn't give me much spending money. Cersei and Diana help."

Hagrid nodded, considering the lie carefully, and Diana waited. She waited for him to ask again, demand the truth from them, but it never came.

"I'm no fan of cheatin'," he said instead, wagging a disciplinary finger at them. "But I ain' goin' turn yeh in or nothin'. Wouldn't feel right, 'specially if yeh need it." He winked. "Be our little secret."

"Thank you, Hagrid."

"Don' be thankin' me. I could be usin' yer help with somethin'."

They all looked up expectantly at the groundskeeper. Under his tangled beard, red was creeping up and staining the apples of his cheeks.

"Yeh see, I'm meetin' a lady friend ternight an'," he coughed, clearing his throat and lowering his voice. "Wan' ter look my best, if yee three could help. This beard don' comb easy."

"You have a date?" Cersei said said too loudly. "With who—"

Hagrid bent to shush her. "No need ter shout in the street abou' it!"

"Sorry, sorry. We'll help."

"Great." He beamed. "How'd yeh feel abou' havin' dinner 'fore gettin' ter work on this beard of mine? Like 'em good ol' times?"

On the way back to the castle, with the weight of shifting badge in her pocket and the memory of Cersei's scowl fresh in her brain, Diana made a choice.

"Oh, by the way." She said, reaching into her pocket and running her thumb over the surface. When POTTER STINKS twisted into SUPPORT CEDRIC, she passed it to Cersei. "For you."

"Why do I need it?" She asked bitterly.

"In case you decide to admit you miss him."

Cersei kissed her teeth but didn't try giving it back.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

sorry if the ending feels sudden. it was a necessary bit but i couldn't find a better spot to place it rip

anyways, sorry this chapter is so late, my last few weeks of college were a real kick in the ass, but um, i've graduated now.

it's weird. i kind of miss it. the job market is kind of balls right now sooo

welp. as always leave me your thoughts. there's some big tea coming in the next one so stay tuned~