Chapter 8

SANTANA POV

When I wake up many hours later, I first feel the throbbing of my head and remember the shower incident the night before. I attempt to get my bearings when I notice I'm alone in bed, much to my dismay. I spot a note on the bed side table set right next to what looks like three headache pills. Oh yeah, I could get used to having Quinn around.

Good morning beautiful, thought I'd let you sleep a while. I made waffles! Meet me on the fire escape xx Q

I can't help but smile. I can't remember the last time I felt excited to get out of bed and face the day. I used to dread waking up and having to face the day. Quinn being around is giving me something to look forward to. I brush my teeth, but remain in my PJs, as I wonder to the kitchen to make myself a plate. Somehow the waffles were still perfectly warm, like she knew exactly when I'd be ready for them. I douse my plate in syrup and top it off with some fresh fruit. To complete by breakfast, I pour a cup of coffee, black of course. I make my way to the fire escape and I glance out to admire Quinn for a second. She's sitting on a cushion with her nose in a book and a mug of tea in hand. She looks perfect.

I finally break my stare and open the window to make my presence known. Quinn flashes me a big smile and taps the empty cushion space on the floor next to her. I oblige,

"thanks for making breakfast, even though its 5 pm." She giggles.

"Yeah we may have completely wrecked our sleep schedule for a few days but it is what it is."

So worth it.

We sit comfortably in each other's company for a while. My thoughts go back to what we talked about last night. I wish I could've been there for Quinn when she was going through all of that. I feel a little selfish. I was so caught up in my own bullshit that I didn't even think that my friends were going through their own heartache and pain. After our few minutes of silence while I ate my food, I spoke up, "hey Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you. I realize that if I had stuck around, it probably would've been me you called instead of Rachel. I should have been the best friend that you needed." Quinn looked at me with her compassionate eyes before laying her head on my shoulder.

"I didn't tell you about my past to make you feel guilty. I hold no anger towards you. At the time, I of course wished I had you to comfort me, but I could always see that you had your own weight to carry. You don't owe me an apology of any sort, but if it helps you to know, I forgive you."

I squeeze her hand and kiss her forehead in response. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything"

"How did you get past it all? I think if I went through what you did, I wouldn't be here now."

Quinn took a deep breath, "I didn't think I'd make it if I'm being honest. Even before I found out he got me pregnant, I woke up every morning and felt disgusting and used. I asked myself how I could be so stupid and let this happen? You know how I was; I wanted to be the best at everything and never show my insecure side. Everything about my personality changed; I was suddenly timid and paranoid around other people and I found myself crying with very little trigger. Everything I had defined myself as growing up changed, and I had to adapt. By the time I called Rachel, I was about to lose my mind. She helped me organize my thoughts and really sort out what I wanted my future to look like. I realized I only had one option, and I had to be okay with that. I couldn't let myself think about my situation in any other way than "

I'm blown away, but not shocked, at her strength. "I really admire you, ya know that? I can't even imagine picking myself back up after something like that. You are so much stronger than me."

She lifts her head and looks at me seriously, "Something Rachel has always said to me is that we can't compare traumas. Everyone has their own experiences that define moments in our lives. If we compared them and judged each against another, we would lose our sense of compassion. I never want to develop a mindset where experiences become a competition of who had it worse. We just had it different. And that is okay."

"Wow, I've never thought of it like that. Look at you changing my mindset already. You're good for me, Fabray." I nudge her with my shoulder playfully.

"Good thing I'm not going anywhere." I smile and snuggle myself into Quinn's side. We sit out on the fire escape for a while longer, watching the sun set over the tall New York buildings.

After the sun set, we make our way inside and clean up the kitchen. Quinn washes the dishes and I dry.

"Oh by the way San, I have a job interview tomorrow before you have to leave for your shift at the bar." I smile, because of course she already has an interview.

"That's awesome! What's the job?"

"It's at a private child advocacy center. I think I'd fit in perfectly there so I'm really excited about it." I smile at her. It makes a lot of sense that Quinn wants to help kids. I remember how lost she was when she got pregnant with Beth. I'm willing to bet she's already thought about what it'll be like if and when she meets a teen girl in the same position she was in.

"I'm excited for you. It'll be impossible for them not to love you." Quinn gives me a tender kiss on the cheek in response.

When we finish cleaning, Quinn grabs my hand and leads me to the living room. I move to sit on the couch but she stops me. I watch a little confused as she makes her way over to the stereo system and plugs in her phone. I grin excitedly because I know exactly what she is doing. We used to have dance parties at sleepovers all the time when we were younger. My guess is she's going straight for a Taylor Swift CD. We both had a secret obsession with the artist back in the day. We thought we would get made fun of incessantly, so we just enjoyed her music in private. It turned into our little dirty secret in a way.

Quinn selects a song and I recognize it immediately, but she starts singing first, "I said remember this moment, in the back of my mind. The time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in stands went wild."

I walk over to her and take both her hands in mine as I sway along to the music and eventually join in, "We were the kings and the queens and they read off our names. The night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same."

By the time the chorus comes around Quinn and I jump on the couch and are head banging to the lyrics, "SO LONG LONG LIVE ALL THE MAGIC WE MADE, I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE FIGHTING DRAGONS WITH YOU."

We end up having so much fun that we go back to the beginning of the record and dance to the rest of it. This is nostalgia like I've never experienced. Quinn and I used to do this exact thing all the time and here we are again, all these years later. I don't think Quinn will ever really understand what she has done for me this weekend. Life changing.