... And then Neji died of a nosebleed. Haha! Just kidding, don't throw tomatoes at me!
Hello everybody! Thank you for taking the time to read through all these chapters!
As always, thank you, nazarin ramzan! You are a real inspiration and motivate me to go on!
As well, thank you very much, Bruh! Your review was extremely helpful and I already made the changes that you suggested to all the chapters! Thank you!
In this chapter I have been trying to decipher Neji's way of thinking during and after the Chuunin exam.
At the same time, I was thinking about making this chapter a lemon, but I just could not bring myself to write and risk ruining it. Therefore, I need your opinion in regards to the rating of this story. Since it contains (and will contain) some cursing, sexual innuendos and some violence, should I leave it at an M? I would really appreciate your thoughts regarding this!
Thank you again for your time! I hope you enjoy this!
Clarification:
"sample text" (Dialogue)
"sample text" (Thoughts)
Chichiue – father
Neji was speechless. He was not sure if his heart had simply stopped or if it was beating so fast that he could just not feel it anymore.
"What is she trying to tell you, Hyuuga? Is she trying to confess? Is she trying to make you confess?"
"Hinata-sama, I… Forgive me, I am trying to find the right words to answer. I remember your third birthday, the way in which you hid your tiny body behind Hiashi-sama and how you peeked at me and smiled. That smile was the beginning of it all, I believe. Afterwards, chichiue told me that I were to protect you and I remember it made me really proud and… Also a bit scared for being entrusted with what I, to this day, still consider one of the hardest missions."
"N-Neji…" her stuttering was back "I-I… I don't…"
"Hinata-sama, I know that you do not want it and I know that there will be a time when you will most definitely not need it. What I did during the exams was… Unspeakable. I never asked for your forgiveness, because how does one even phrase that? How does one even begin to put into words all the guilt, all the shame and all the anger directed at oneself for committing such an atrocity? How can one beg for forgiveness after having tried to kill another, for having physically and mentally tortured another? I knew that I had broken every rule, every promise that I made, that I tried to break you, to shatter you into tiny pieces so that you could not see inside of me anymore, because… After all those years, after all that I had shown were feelings of anger and resentment, you could still read me. You could still see me as that innocent four-year-old who looked at you in amazement that one winter day... You could see it, you could read it and it scared me. I did not wish for you to witness all the misery and the pain that was inside of me, but when you told it, when you verbally expressed it out loud, I felt that you were letting out my biggest secret. I felt… Betrayed and I felt the need to defend myself. But how could I defend myself from words? The match had already been won, but there you were, standing tall, taller than me, taller than everyone in the room, laying all the truth in front of everyone, exposing me... It was a split second, one that I will forever regret, when I charged. I knew that you were already aware of what was hiding behind the mask, but I never expected you try to break it."
"I-I am sorry…"
"Don't you say that! Never, as long as you live, Hinata-sama, dare utter those words again! I am telling you all this so that you understand how corrupted my way of thinking was back then. In any case… The fight with Naruto and its aftermath, with Hiashi-sama telling me the truth about my father's passing, forced me to really think about what I had done and I realized a few things as well. Firstly, I realized that my persistence and determination to learn the techniques reserved for the main branch were not motivated by me proving that I was better. That was the reason I was lying myself with in order to avoid acknowledging the true one, the one that I would not even muster the courage to admit to even to myself. To put it simply, it was you… I knew that you had been looking up to Naruto for quite some time, that he was your source of inspiration and strength, your motivation to try and better yourself and it… How do I say this? It made angry, it made me jealous that I was, once again, left behind, that you wouldn't look at me with the same admiration. I felt tied to that destiny of always being a branch member, of always remaining in the shadows, of going unnoticed by you. While you were always watching him, I was fighting with every fibre of my body, with every bone and with every drop of will I could find within myself for you to acknowledge me, to look at me once, just once, with the same admiration you were looking at Naruto."
"I-I never… I-I always…"
"The second thing that I realized was that I would never be able to ask for or expect your forgiveness because, as I said before, how could I even begin to do that? I was determined to leave Konoha, to be shun from the clan, to accept my punishment, but then, you surprised me yet again, by wordlessly forgiving me, by understanding the words that I dared not speak, by accepting me by your side, as your guardian, as your friend and as your equal. Lastly, I came to realize that not only would I kill for you, but I would also gladly and proudly die for you. Even though I would only embrace you for comfort, even though I would only give you a chaste kiss on the forehead, even though I would never think it was possible for you to... Look at me that certain way. I would have died for you back then, I would have died for you during the war and I would fight and die for you again and again, however many times necessary, with however much power and life that this body is able to carry. If love is the peace you bring me with your mere presence, if love is waking up every day just to see your smile, if love means giving up my own selfish desires just to see you happy, if love is the unregretful acceptance of death so that I could save you, if love is the freedom I feel whenever I am with you, if love means giving up a predetermined future in which I have the certainty of having you, just so you can make your own decision… Then yes, Hinata-sama, I do believe that it is what they call… Love." he finished, eyes shut, unable to look at her.
The feeling on his lips came as a bolt of lightning, followed by the thunder that crashed everything inside him. She was kissing him. Slowly. Patiently. Gently. Inexpertly, but wholeheartedly. Her lips were as light as a butterfly landing on a flower, as soothing as rain after a drought and as sweet as the freedom of the birds. His mind was paralyzed, blank, unable to transmit any shred of reason. Feeling that Hinata was about to pull away, he let his instinct take control, placing his right hand on the back of her head, caressing her silky, lilac-scented hair, while his left arm surrounded her waist. He deepened the kiss, hungrily, ferociously, all his senses heightened to a point he never knew he was capable of. She responded by embracing him, pulling him tightly. His left hand travelled from her waist to her knees, hurriedly lifting her kimono and grazing her porcelain inner thighs, making its way upwards, ever upwards, like a bird flying towards freedom…
It hadn't been how he expected, how he dreamt of all those years, how he imagined every detail, every crevice of her body shaking under his touch, every one of her moans... It had been infinitely worse and, paradoxically, better that any of his fantasies. It had been worse because, in his hurry to possess all of her, her body, her mind and her soul, he didn't find the courage to stop and look at her, to let her glorious image sink within him, fearing that his reason might awaken and he would be incapable of continuing. It had been better because she was now his, as he had been hers for as long as he could remember.
As they lay panting, surrounded by the rose petals that had fallen during their burning act of all-consuming passion, he finally looked at her. The rose petals were red, as were her cheeks and her inner thighs.
"Hinata-sama, I…"
"Thank you, Neji!" she whispered, her lips opening in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. "I-I think we should continue searching for the scroll…" she said, breaking the spell and returning him to reason.
"I don't know how we will be able to find it… It seems impossible, we have already searched half the library…" Neji sighed.
"D-Didn't Kimiko say that the scroll was in Otousan's room? W-We have been searching in the wrong place this whole time… Come!" she smiled, extending her hand.
They found it with ease and carefully opened it. After reading it, the two stared at each other for a second that seemed like an eternity.
"We have to go! Now!"
"N-Neji, it's 4 o'clock in the morning. She cannot possibly be awake."
"Then we will wake her up! Let's go!"
All the alarm bells that he hadn't been aware of were finally ringing in his head.