Chapter 8 – Heavy hearts

Santana…

It was the first time she was really worried about Quinn. Usually her friend was the one to keep cool in a situation that unsettled Santana but this time it was different. She hadn't heard from Quinn since Friday night. It was Sunday afternoon now. She had promised to call Santana to tell her how it went with her parents.

What if they sent her away to live somewhere else with a relative because they were too ashamed to have a pregnant teenaged daughter? What if they took her straight to a clinic to get rid of it?

Santana kept walking up and down in her room. She should have been there with Quinn when she told her parents. Or she should have sent abuela to be there just like she suggested. People don't yell at the elderlies.

What if Quinn wasn't going to show up at school the next day? Was she supposed to call the police then? Or talk to a teacher first?

Maybe Will would know what to do. But then she'd have to tell him about Quinn's pregnancy and Santana didn't know if she was allowed to talk about it now.

She was so caught up in her sorrows that she startled when there was a knock on her door. Since when the hell did Tony knock? Usually he just stomped in when he wanted something from her.

Santana was absolutely not in the mood to help him with his homework now. She had offered to help yesterday but he thought it was more important to sit in front of the tv for a new episode of Baywatch. She only watched with him because she was too tired to argue over it.

"Listen, mister if you think- oh…"

It wasn't her brother looking back at her confusedly when she opened the door.

"Brittany… what are you doing here?" Santana muttered in surprise. The blonde gave her an insecure smile.

"Your brother let me in. I asked him to go get you but he was in the middle of watching tv."

Santana let Brittany step into her room because now that she was here it would have been impolite to send her back to the living room to wait for her. She quickly threw a look over her shoulder. Luckily she had cleaned up the room just yesterday. Only Iker's bed still looked messy but that was alright.

"How does he like his new bed?" Brittany asked when she walked by it in order to sit down at the small desk.

Santana followed her and took a seat at the end of her own bed.

"He loves it. He hasn't slept in my bed ever since… which is quite a relief actually."

Brittany nodded with a smirk.

"That's good. So have you heard from Quinn? I couldn't take it anymore… I didn't want to just show up at her door. Were they ok with it?"

Santana shrugged defeatedly.

"I have no idea. I know just as much as you do. She hasn't called. I wanted to go there, too but then I felt like giving her some time."

"Oh" Brittany breathed as her face fell. "I'm just… I have a weird feeling, you know?"

Santana nodded knowingly.

"Me, too…"

She watched how Brittany fidgeted with a bracelet on her wrist. Her hair was open and wavy today and she was wearing her Converse sneakers, her ripped blue jeans and a big tee that looked very comfortable.

Santana like the way she dressed. It was so different from all the other girls at school. Everyone always tried to look super cute with skirts or tight shirts. Herself included sometimes…

"Do you know that your brother is watching Baywatch in the kitchen?" Brittany spoke up after a moment of silence.

Santana blinked twice in order to buy some time. She didn't know how to react. She didn't want to come off as the motherly sister.

"Again? Oh well… if it gives him a kick… I know it's gross but what can I say. He's a boy."

Brittany narrowed her eyes.

"Isn't he a bit too young for that?"

Santana huffed and got up from the bed.

"He's so hormonal – I don't even want to know what kind of magazines he has hidden under his bed."

Santana watched how Brittany's eyes wandered to Iker's bed in shock.

"Seriously?" She asked incredulously.

"Wait… are we talking about Tony? My pubertal brother who never looks you in the eye when you talk to him?"

Brittany shook her head furiously, a wide grin forming on her lips.

"No! I was talking about Iker! God, you have no idea how relieved I am to know that he's not the one with filthy magazines under his bed."

Santana joined her laughter for a moment, also feeling relieved at first but then she stopped and narrowed her eyes.

"Does that mean my baby brother is watching Baywatch?"

Now it was Brittany's turn to gaze at her at a lack of words.

"C.J. at her finest…" She mumbled with a shrug before Santana stormed out of the room.

She ran to the kitchen and found her little brother indeed sitting at the table with the remote in his hands, his eyes glued to the tv.

Santana snatched the remote and changed the channel to a cartoon quickly.

"Iker that's not for you, yet. You can watch cartoons, ok?"

Her brother looked at her with a pout.

"Why not?"

Santana heard Brittany stepping into the kitchen behind her.

"Because… it gets scary at times, ok? You never know if they survive when they get in trouble in the water and sometimes there are sharks and… way too much skin in the wrong places."

Santana could hear Brittany's chuckle.

"Anyways it's a sunny afternoon – you're not supposed to be watching tv. Go play with your friends. Dad won't be home from a job till later. You can have an ice cream but please… just go outside."

Iker's face beamed at the mention of ice cream and he jumped off to get to the freezer. Santana sighed when she watched her little brother go.

"Do you want one, too?" She asked Brittany when she turned to look at her. Brittany was grinning back at her.

"No thanks, I already had dessert… you're good with your brother, you know that?"

Santana couldn't help the proud lift of her chin.

"Thanks… I don't always think so, though. I'm doing my best."

Brittany smiled affirmingly.

"Of course you are. They're lucky to have you."

Santana crossed her arms in front of her chest, kind of not knowing what to do with all the compliments thrown her way. She smirked inwardly.

"So uh… do you think we should call her?" Brittany asked eventually and made Santana forget about red bathing suits and cartoons. She sighed.

"I don't know. What if her dad picks up? I'm scared I'll say something I'm not supposed to. We still don't know if he knows everything."

Brittany nodded tentatively.

"We could also drive by her house with our bikes. I'm sure we'll see something. Maybe she's outside."

Santana thought it was a good idea until she remembered that Tony was out with her bike.

"My other brother took my bicycle. It's a bit far by foot…"

Brittany only shrugged her shoulders at that. Santana didn't know what came next.

"You can sit on my rear rack." She must have seen the hesitation in Santana's eyes.

"It wouldn't be a problem, Santana. I've also carried Blaine that way."

Santana was kind of impressed at the thought of Brittany driving with someone else on the bike.

She pondered for another couple seconds.

"Don't you want to sneak a peek through her window? Or are you scared because you won't be able to hold the handlebars?" Brittany teased her. Santana rolled her eyes.

"Ok, fine. We can go. But if her dad is in the front yard, we just drive by all casual, ok?"

Brittany chuckled when she made her way to the front door.

"Sure… wussy." The last part came out as only a whisper so Santana wasn't sure if Brittany really said it. She followed the blonde outside, undecided whether to be offended or amused.

/

When Brittany said that Santana wouldn't be able to hold on to the handlebars, Santana hadn't really thought about it any further.

Now she knew what it meant. She was holding on to Brittany's middle instead and it made her all kind of insecure. She didn't know if she was holding on too tight or if it was ok in the first place. There had been no time to ask because Brittany drove off as soon as Santana said she was ready.

"Are you even holding on? I don't want you to fall off when we take a sharp turn." Brittany yelled when they drove down the road. Santana rolled her eyes again.

"Of course I'm holding on" She answered slightly annoyed. It wasn't even that far to Quinn's place. There weren't many turns to take. Especially no sharp ones.

"Ok, then…" Brittany said and two seconds later Santana found herself shrieking as Brittany swerved to the right. She quickly grabbed Brittany's waist tighter and felt silly for her little outburst. She knew Brittany was going to do it.

"Sorry!" Brittany laughed. "There was something on the road. A squirrel."

Santana clicked her tongue. If she wasn't scared to let go, she would have pinched Brittany's arm.

For the rest of the ride, they didn't speak. Santana was glad Brittany couldn't see her face. She felt her cheeks were hot and that always happened when Brittany teased her lately. She didn't do it all the time… but whenever she did something to make Santana roll her eyes or give her a pointed look, she felt the heat on her cheeks sooner or later.

Just like last week during lunch. Brittany pointed out that Santana had ketchup on her chin. When she tried to wipe it away and realized that there was nothing there, Brittany and Quinn cracked into laughter. Santana wasn't even eating anything with ketchup.

She threw her napkin at Brittany but it totally backfired… it just fell on the table like a floppy paper plane which only made them laugh harder.

On Friday during the football game Brittany made Santana get up on her feet so she could pass to go to the bathroom. They were in the middle of the row so Brittany could have easily gone the other way and made Quinn get up.

"Why do I always have to get up?" She wanted to know when Brittany squeezed by her. "You already did that when you went to get something to drink."

She regretted asking her a question because Brittany stood still for a second and looked her dead in the eye.

"Because Quinn played the pregnancy card. And it's fun to see that look on your face."

Santana confusedly shook her head and closed her eyes for a second.

"Which one?" She wanted to know.

"That one" Brittany giggled when she was already walking away but threw a glimpse over her shoulder.

Santana sank back into her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Now she had her arms around Brittany's middle and she couldn't help but also kind of like it. As much as she didn't want to enjoy it – she did. She enjoyed Brittany's teasing and she enjoyed being around her.

It confused her a little just like it confused her when she had thought of Brittany that one time when she was home alone… she didn't do that ever again because it felt completely wrong. For all kinds of reasons. But as long as nobody knew about it, it was fine. Nobody could see into her head.

She had almost forgotten about it anyway. Only because Brittany's hand was now on her arm, she got reminded of it. She didn't know why Brittany was doing that. Maybe she thought she needed to secure Santana's grip.

Santana kind of wanted to tell Brittany to hold on to the handlebars with both her hands but she found herself keeping quiet.

She watched the houses passing by and focused on the sensation of the warm sun on her back and the wind in her hair.

/

When they arrived at Quinn's front yard, Santana jumped off as soon as the bike came to a halt. She was surprised to find Quinn actually sitting in the swing on the front porch.

Both Brittany and Santana quickly made their way through the gate but slowed down when Quinn shook her head. Her eyes were red and her nose running.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you" She whispered when Brittany and Santana sat down on the small steps that led up to the porch. "I'm not allowed to use the phone. They're scared I'll call Jake. I'm grounded. Until the baby is here…"

Santana's heart broke at the way Quinn said it, silent tears rolling down her face. She was still shaking her head.

"Daddy was so mad. He forbid me to talk to Jake again."

From the corner of her eye Santana saw how Brittany opened her mouth.

"What about your mom? Did she try to calm him down?" She asked hopefully.

Quinn shrugged weakly.

"She tried. But you don't know how my daddy can be sometimes. He shattered a plate…"

"Can you go to school tomorrow?" Brittany went on.

This time Quinn nodded and wiped away some tears. She tried to give them a brave smile but it looked so strained.

"Yes. But Daddy will pick me up for lunch time. He wants to control me."

Santana lowered her head in defeat. She knew her father. She knew how he had a different side to what everybody else knew. He was the pastor that the people loved but he was also Quinn's strict father who didn't understand her most of the time. He could raise his voice in a way that made her feel more than uncomfortable.

"But Quinn… you can't let him have that much power over you. It's not fair that-"

"I know it's not fair, Brittany but it's just the way it is. He's my dad. I live under his roof. His house, his rules."

"But-"

Santana didn't know any better how to stop Brittany but to put her hand on top of hers. When Brittany looked at her in confusion, Santana just shook her head.

"It's the best for me to not upset him any further." Quinn explained when she got up on her feet. "Stress isn't good for the baby. Can you please tell Jake that… that I'm sorry and…" She trailed off when a fresh wave of tears dared to roll down her cheeks.

Santana quickly nodded her head and got up on her feet, too. She took Quinn in for a hug and squeezed her gently.

"We'll tell him. I promise. I'll see you tomorrow at school, ok?"

Quinn smiled thankfully and exchanged a meaningful look with Brittany, too.

They just stood there when Quinn opened the door to head back inside. They waved at her and then she was gone.

A couple seconds passed where they didn't say a word. They made their way back to Brittany's bike. Santana had no idea what it was going to be like from now on.

She didn't know what it meant to not have Quinn to hang out with all the time. They'd been through everything in their childhood. Quinn was there when her mom passed away. Santana was there when Quinn ran away one night because her parents were fighting so much.

Santana was allowed to sleep over all the time before Iker was born. Those were the best nights. They'd play games with Quinn's mom till late at night and drink cocoa before finally heading to bed.

She couldn't think of one single time where she ate lunch at school without Quinn sitting by her side.

Santana cupped her cheeks to feel how hot they were while Brittany picked up her bike from the ground. They started walking but every step they took felt heavier.

"Hey"

Brittany's voice sounded like a warm breeze in her ear. The reason it sounded so close was because she was right next to her and put her arm gently around Santana's shoulders. "It's going to be ok."

Santana's fingertips were wet from the sudden tears that wanted to run down but she wiped them away.

"Don't worry, Santana" Brittany whispered and gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

She tried to nod and to say something but she wasn't capable right then and there. Seeing her best friend like that was overwhelming. She felt for her so much.

Her body relaxed at Brittany's touch while her heart felt heavy. They walked like that for a while. Brittany pushing the bike in one hand and guiding Santana with the other. It consoled her more than she expected.

Once her tears were dried and she thought that there was no more reason to be held, she challenged Brittany to step into the pedals once more. The blonde smirked and promised she wasn't going to take any sharp curves without a warning this time.

Santana just smiled when she hopped on the back and wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist.

She got a ride back home that could have lasted a little longer in her opinion even though it wasn't exactly comfortable to sit like that. I just felt nice to feel the warm wind in her face.

They agreed to ride to school together in the morning when they said goodbye in front of Santana's house.

"Is it ok if Blaine rides with us?" Brittany asked when she was about to take off.

Santana nodded with a smile.

"Of course… I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Brittany smiled with a wink.

Santana watched until Brittany was gone around a corner. With heavy steps but a heart that felt a tiny bit lighter she returned to her home in order to cook some dinner for her and her family.